The Story Of Snot Boy

The conversation explores the profound story of Snot Boy, an indigenous Canadian origin story passed down through generations. It delves into the themes of loneliness, despair, and the transformative power of embracing our vulnerabilities. The hosts share personal experiences of hitting rock bottom and finding wisdom and strength in their darkest moments. The story challenges traditional narratives of creation and highlights the importance of accepting and cherishing all aspects of ourselves, even the messy ones. The conversation emphasizes the power of sharing our stories and connecting with others through our shared humanity. In this conversation, Inarra and Edwina discuss the themes of creativity, birthing new things into the world, loneliness, and the importance of self-love. They explore the story of Copper Woman and Snot Boy, highlighting the idea of completion and the dangers of seeking validation and fulfillment through others. They also introduce their collaborative work, The Doorway, which is designed to guide individuals through transitions and help them live a life they are passionately happy about. Additionally, they share their individual offerings, including retreats and coaching programs.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to the Story of Snot Boy
• 2:48 The Power of Embracing Vulnerability
• 6:13 The Importance of Sharing Our Stories
• 10:29 Accepting and Cherishing the Messy Parts
• 15:15 The Symbolism of Snot Boy: Challenging Traditional Narratives
• 19:04 Calling in Transformation from Despair
• 24:25 Personal Reflections on Hitting Rock Bottom
• 28:45 The Power of Creativity and Growth
• 35:08 The Incompletion of Snot Boy
• 39:11 Embracing Loneliness and Self-Love
• 41:48 The Dangers of Seeking Completion
• 46:09 Inarra's Offerings: Retreats and Personal Growth

Transcript

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (00:01.688)
Hello, beautiful ones. I am here with Edwina, my partner in crime, and we are into the second series of Wise Women's Stories, following along on a very bizarre story today, which is that of Snot Boy. And, you know, I can't even say it without actually having a bit of a giggle.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (00:20.572)
Thanks.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (00:25.762)
But Snot Boy is actually, it's a profound, profound story. And when you start to understand that these stories are hundreds of thousands, dare I say, millions of years old, this is indigenous Canadian people, West Coast around the Vancouver area. And these are women's stories that were passed woman to woman to woman to woman for hundreds of thousands of years, if not longer.

And they were treated a little bit like you're in a secret society. That's mentioned actually later in the book that that's exactly what these stories were all about. So perhaps it wouldn't be the one that was around the campfire with all the men there. Perhaps. Or maybe it was, do you know what I mean? It's like, when we get into it, you'll understand what I mean because it can be quite jarring and a little bit controversial.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (01:05.086)
So, for now, I'll

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (01:24.494)
That's why we like it. So, Edwina.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (01:26.424)
I know when I first read it, was like, my goodness, Inara, what book have you chosen?

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (01:34.122)
I know.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (01:35.23)
But that makes it all the better because it grabs your attention. You're not going to get bored.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (01:40.086)
Yeah, and I think it's profound that this is origin stories that women need to hear. That was the whole idea that the one today is really profound. So I'll jump in with the glasses and read a little bit of it, I think.

So we are coming up to the chapter which is actually called, in my book, which is different than Edwina's book, I'll put the cover up again, when we go onto YouTube you guys will see it, but mine is a very old copy, probably from the 1980s.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (02:22.382)
Yes, totally different. So copper woman at this point, she's a girl. She's copper girl really. And she has gone through terrible torment of arriving in a boat and she and the 13 people who brought her were all dead. So the first thing that she does is she has to be the life force.

and they've all given their water, their wisdom, everything to this girl so that she survives. And then she's on her own. Then another boat comes in with three elders, elder women who are really ancient and they pour everything into her before each one individually dies. And so again, she's left alone. And we pick up the story at this point where she's been on her own for

at least they mentioned four years, but a long time surviving. And then a boat rocks up again. And this has people who are here to give her specific information. So she receives the information and she learns everything about survival at this point. She learns how to create different levels of food.

She learns how to look after herself. She learns the land. She learns to create a dwelling, house. So it's all survival. Everything is to do with survival. And when the people come, it says, coming from the setting sun, riding down the golden slide that cuts the water just before the blanket of nightfall. They came to teach her what all humankind must know.

to live more fully.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (04:16.984)
But this was not the time nor the place for the magic ones to stay. And as they left for their place, Copper Woman began to weep. Bitchily she cried for loneliness is a bitter thing and an acrid taste in our mouths. More bitter when you think you have been freed from it and find it returning again. So much did she cry, her very head began to drain of all the fluid. And as tears fell from her eyes, from her nose,

fell great amounts of thick mucus. Tears of mucus and from her mouth saliva and her face swelled as the waters of loneliness poured. From her nose came an enormous cluster of mucus strands fell onto the sand and lay at her feet. And so great was the cluster that even in her pathetic state, Copper Woman was aware of it and grew ashamed.

Trying to conquer her wailing, she tried to kick sand over the mess, bury it, hide it, return it to the earth. The magic women told her not to feel shame, not to bury the snot, but to save it, even cherish it. And when she had learned to accept that even this most gross evidence of her own mortality, then from the acceptance would come the means whereby she would never again be alone.

never again be lonely. They told her that those times when the body secretions flow, those times when a woman answers the call of the moon are holy and sacred times, times for prayer and contemplation. So we can stop there. That's the beginning of the the mess that she is in. And we can talk about being in messes at different times and also that

This is not a Christian story. And what's so interesting is I always say to my friends, if you want to learn sin and shame, just go be a Catholic or, you know, learn the teachings of it, because you have to be taught shame to feel it. No baby in that state of just pooing and peeing or whatever will feel shame. It's a taught thing that comes much later on. And yet even in this story, there's shame about

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (06:43.138)
being a complete mess, being an emotional mess, letting it all out. And maybe Edwina, that's a good moment to ask for your wisdom.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (06:55.934)
Well, it's, you know, I'm thinking about the first episode when I shared the story of ending up in hospital with my four babies and the doctor saying that he wasn't going to let me leave until I rang somebody. And the complete shame that I wasn't, that I didn't have it all together and that I wasn't coping and that I'd allowed myself to get to the point where I had to take myself to hospital.

you know, it's the great lesson that I learned from that is the generosity of asking for help. And there is so much training that I received and I know I'm not alone about don't, you know, don't let anybody see your mistakes. Don't let anybody see your mess. Because, you know, that's sort of somehow defines you. But I think it's the actually what I've learned with wisdom in years is the it's the absolute

opposite. It's when we share our humanity at the hardest times that we connect more deeply with other people and in asking for help and sharing our stories we allow other people and give other people permission to ask us for help but also there is so much gained from being able to draw on stories we've heard when things happen to us so

I'm thinking of, you when I think of stories that just kind of, you know, things that have happened in my life that made me want to crawl under the bed or under the car and hide. I remember a very dear friend that you know as well in our James E. Blakely, who I've spoken of quite a lot because she's just a very dear friend.

But she adopted me. I was in America five times in 2019 and she as good as adopted me and was so generous had me to stay in her house and all these different things. And I remember I was perimenopausal at the time and going through that stage where you just get the most abhorrent flood flooding periods. It's just dreadful. And I remember sitting in her beautiful car with her leather seats and just feeling the floodgates open and just

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (09:10.972)
It was just one of those moments of, my goodness, my goodness, what do I do with this? And she's, she's, you know, a decade older than me and the grace in which she just like, it was nothing, it was no big deal. And I share that story because when it happens to somebody who's listening, you go, okay, yeah, I'm not the only one that this has happened to and it can be handled with grace and strength and

bit of a laugh and you just get on with things and and make the make the most of it. And so you know when we experience these incredibly devastating moments of the snot and the tears and when everything feels like it's just broken and messy it's in sharing our stories not from a place of I'm a victim and feel sorry for me but from a place of this is

shared humanity. This is part of living that we go through these heartbreaking moments, these messy moments, that you know, like all the different things. So I yeah, I feel that's what that what that's what comes up when I think about the message, the key takeaway with this part.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (10:29.398)
Yeah, and it resonates with me because similarly at a time when I've mentioned a relationship that I thought was going to be the one, you know, and I was very attached to the little boy who was in the relationship. I was a stepmom and I was a great stepmom. I poured my life into that and I...

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (10:42.547)
you

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (10:55.252)
expected somewhere along the line that I would have a child with this man. And when he left, and I didn't see the little boy really, I only saw him once again, I had like breakdown level of torment. I was beside myself. And when people talk about

Sometimes, you know, different ages mean different things to different people. It's like, I really, that was around 40 and I was on my knees, not because of 40, but actually because it was so linked to having children. And I was seeing the opportunity disappearing into the horizon. So I was a complete mess and I cried a lot.

I'm easy on the tears, right? I'm somebody who can cry on buses and whatever. And, but I, it was just nonstop. I would lie on the floor crying and crying and crying and crying. And round about Christmas time of whatever year that was, I had some friends who would have these rather posh parties and

You know, I was a friend with one of them for many, years from knowing him in Canada, but his partner was somebody I didn't totally jam with. And I remember going to this party and having to go into the bathroom and be all tears and grapple with the fact that I was surrounded by couples. There was another moment also in that year where

I was invited to several weddings and I would be on the single, the single table with all the weirdos, right? And, and again, I would just take myself off. Well, then what happened was they gave me an ultimatum and they said, if you want to come to our, events and parties, you ha you, you have to pull yourself together. You can't be a mess. And it was the severing of a relationship.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (12:38.419)
Yeah.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (13:01.652)
It was because equally those people who could cope with my emotional state and as I've mentioned before, I didn't have children. knew, I just instinctively knew that this was, I was going through like a rite of passage of not having children that I so wanted. But.

you know, when I was in Britain, which can be keep the upper, the stiff upper lip and don't show all of this emotion and I couldn't do it. So I recognize that actually, and now in the work that I do when I work with clients and people who really going through a tough experience.

The very first thing I do with some of the healing work I do is we want to identify where that feeling is, where is it in your body? Where are you holding it? Now let's expand it. Let's go into it. Let's feel it all. Because if you can't feel it all, it won't move on. And so snot boy.

because he becomes the thing that comes out of this. And she's been given the wisdom by the magic teachers that if you can fully embrace your snot, then you will never feel lonely again. And you can imagine that that piece as well. I know that I also felt more lonely in a relationship, in that relationship than I've ever felt lonely on my own.

It's because if somebody doesn't get you and there's this disconnect, that level of loneliness is very hard to bear. So those are the things that come up for me at this point.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (14:45.736)
Yep. Yep.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (14:48.876)
I'm sure that the listener will relate to this. You've all had devastations. And yeah, and this is about feeling it. So at this point, Copper Woman did as she was told, not understanding, but having faith. She scooped the mess up in a mussel shell and put it with her magical things. A few days later, she noticed that the sand in the shell was moving.

She looked closely and saw a small incomplete thing twisting uncomfortably in a small shell. Copper woman carefully placed what was in the muscle shell in a larger shell. A shell of umect, the horse clam. Every day she watched and became aware that the small living incomplete thing was growing something that looked like a miniature of the neck of a horse clam.

Soon the small figure was too large to be comfortable in the shell of -act. So she put it in a shell of tutsap, the sea urchin. But in only a day or two, she moved it again. For beneath the thing that looked like the neck of un -act, this thing was developing small versions of tutsap. So he's getting, he's now growing parts. So he gets bigger and bigger and bigger.

And one night snot boy left his bed and crawled in bed with the copper woman. He fastened his mouth like the mouth of our Sam on her mouth. That's a salmon and his hands grasping like the claws of our Sam felt for her breasts.

Copper Woman knew that she could easily destroy this impertinent snot boy, but she also felt responsible for him and sorry for him for being such an incomplete collection of traits from a number of sea creatures. So it goes on and it comes to this point where besides his mouth on hers was pleasant, she suddenly starts to enjoy snot boy.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (17:00.63)
And his hands, though demanding, were not hurtful and caused a warmth in her belly. So she basically has sex with this being. This is the beginning of man. So in this origin story, which is so outrageous in some ways, we have man coming from woman and he's incomplete. There's something about him. And not only that, man coming as a call from woman's

deepest loneliness, deepest emotional mess, and he's called in as a being. I will finish this little bit. So basically they have sex and she soothed him and held him close and wondered if the loneliness would ever totally go. So in a relationship, she's in a relationship and she wonders if the loneliness will ever go.

But many times thereafter, she would hold the snot boy close and fix her mouth on his, use the magic of her hands to waken the small tuts up. And once they were awake, the un -act part entered her, seeking, exploring, taking her almost from loneliness, but never totally. So in terms of origin stories, the first most outrageous thing here is if you compare it to the Christian, you know, woman comes from

man, she's a rib. Imagine this, men come from snot and they come from woman's snot. I mean, it is so outrageous as a comparison origin story. But really, when you look at the deep symbolism, it's out of deep misery, out of the deepest expression of loneliness, you cause something to happen.

And maybe we could talk a little bit about this moment in the story. Do you relate to anything there, Edwina? Does anything come up calling in after deep despair?

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (19:04.186)
Well I think the first thing that what's running through my mind as I'm listening to this again after having read it is that the whole idea of snot being something disgusting is a conditioning. You know, just as anything that any fluid that comes from us as humans, I mean why is snot any more disgusting than anything else? It's a programming.

So if we can kind of start to think of letting that idea go, I think this story is going to be easier to listen to from the symbolism side of things. That's first. If that helps you, that's what's going on in my brain.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (19:47.118)
Get over your snot, ladies and gentlemen.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (19:52.2)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (20:00.66)
I'm wondering if you can ask me that question again. My brain went off in a different direction. So what was it that you were wanting me to particularly touch on with this part?

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (20:11.82)
Well, it's the idea that from the deepest despair that we have, and even where it disgusts ourself, we are able to express that level of humaneness from there we call in something which is going to abate the loneliness. And it's that piece.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (20:18.707)
Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (20:33.128)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I, you know, I think the, to just to keep the continuity of the story in the first episode, I shared about the breakdown of my first marriage and becoming a single mother with four children. And I like to say single soul care mother. That until that point, I wasn't...

and Pokey's just doing a dance in the background, forgive the noise if he's making a making noise. Until that point, I really had not been living my own life. I'd been, you know, like I followed career paths because that's what the careers instructor said at school. I didn't bother trying all sorts of creative things because I hadn't been good at it at school. I had all sorts of beliefs about myself that had come from my childhood that

very much restricted who I thought I could be in the world. And that included relationships that I thought I could have. And until that point, if a boy showed me interest, I just was grateful that somebody gave me a sense of I was worth noticing. And so that was enough for me to be in a relationship with somebody. And my first husband,

And just as I sort of share this story, I want to really be clear that this is not a victim's story. We were both responsible for where we ended up, but he was incredibly clever and intelligent and capable and he was the bad boy and he was... You know, he had all the qualities that I thought would make an amazing life partner. But if I at that point had have been connected to my

even an understanding of what my intuition is, there were so many red flags that I ignored. There were so many things that were very clear indicators that we were never supposed to be together. But we just rolled along and after a year I became pregnant with our eldest son and then, you know, we had

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (22:52.648)
We had three and three and a half years and then the fourth one and we didn't ever at any point have a foundation under us that was going to be sustainable. So when everything fell apart, it quite literally took me to rock bottom. And it was from that incredible place of utmost grief and loss and loneliness from that utmost rock bottom that

I then had to create myself who I wanted to be in the world. And it was that step by step. And I had good reason because I had four children who needed me and I had a clear sense of who I wanted to be for them. And so that was the foundation. That was the building blocks. So yeah, I think that, you know, when I think over my life,

For those that are familiar with human design or gene keys, I am a line three. So my whole life purpose in my, you know, my Dharma, there's no avoiding it is this, is this trial and ever an error. It's, you know, the way that I've learned the most in my life is through hitting crazy lows. And that's where the wisdom really comes from. And so when I look back over my life time and time again, when I've really

made decisions that have brought me to my knees, that's when the greatest wisdom has has come. Yeah. So what's what's your sort of reflection from that in our

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (24:25.28)
I would so agree with that.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (24:30.454)
Well, I just in total agree, agreeance, there is no word, I agree with you. It's these very, very, very severe lessons. This is what I was talking about before with the wounded healer. When that man left the one I'm talking about, and I then went into this desperate state of trying to figure out how to have a family.

I went through all sorts of things and I tried HRT for three rounds that caused an

an ovarian cyst in a fallopian tube, I was in agony, like the worst agony that practically it was like 10 out of 10. We then found out that I had endometriosis. It had never showed up. So one side was perfect. That was the right side. The left side was like a gnarled. It looked like a twisted kind of tree when I actually saw the insides of me on one side.

Luckily, I'd never experienced the pain of endometriosis throughout my life. But then I did because of these actions I took. And then if you can believe it, also had, I've been having some NHS dentistry. Now they're not known to be great dentists in Britain on the national health scheme. It's a thing. Whereas I'd had all my previous dentistry in Canada.

they're known to be amazing dentists. And so I had the replacement of fillings at this time, at the same time with this NHS dentist. And then one day I was in, all I can explain is like absolute agony. And that dentist was away on holiday. And so I ended up going to an emergency dentist and they

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (26:26.23)
looked at me and they said, this is the most appalling work we've ever seen practically in our lives. And he was so nice. He said, sit down. I am going to tell you some like not great news, but I'm going to figure out how to do this with you. You have got to have something like five root canals, two crowns taken out. You've got an abscess under this. The crown is appalling. He said you could sue. It's that bad.

But all I had was agony, right? Serious physical pain of things going on and also just heartbreak, like just being in heartbreak. That was my rock bottom. I mean, it just crashed me to the ground. And working as a photographer, I would go and cry behind a wall, then go and do the shoot, interiors in London.

and then go behind another wall, cry my eyes out, then go to the next job. That's how I functioned at that time. I was given antidepressants and I just took them for a week and thought this is not for me. And so gradually as I hit the lowest part of this, then something else arose and it was really like F this.

If this is my life and it's this bad and I'm not going to get the kids and I'm not, I haven't got the man and I haven't got the happy family that I always thought I would. And I'm in agony and I have to now have like serious amounts of root canal. I'm ready for a risk. It's like, I'm going to risk something that nobody would. Now at that point, and I've experienced this before that the risk I take.

at those moments are just outrageous. Like I will turn sideways. All the fear goes out because I'm already dealing with so much. And it was the rise of me stepping into serious business at that time, building up what became a 10 million pound property empire, because I changed direction completely. And it wasn't based on, I'm on a high, let's try this risk. It's

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (28:45.078)
Life can't get any worse. And I entered my most creative phase of my life, actually, after this. it wasn't the children that got the pouring of me. I poured it into everything to do with creativity and boy, did it work. You know? So I recognize this, this thing and it's, it's happened a few times. That was a bad one though. It's like, yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (29:02.829)
Mm.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (29:12.37)
Yeah, and I think, you know, my experience is that regardless of whether it's children or not, we are designed to continuously birth new things into the world. Even when I do an interview series, it has no life until I name it. And then once I name it, it's like it takes on a life of its own. It's like, know that I want to do this topic and there's there's an idea around it.

But in business, it's like you sort of name it and you nudge it along. But once it's been birthed, it does have a life of its own. It's our job to keep nurturing it and nourishing it and doing all the things to keep it alive. But as women, it is the core of what we're here to do. And it's when we stop birthing new things into the world that we start to shrivel and die.

And this is one of the dangers that we face post, you know, sort of 50, 60, 70, depending on what's going on in our lives, that we just start to play safer and safer and safer for many women. And the fear becomes greater of, you know, we're so frightened of looking stupid or looking foolish or feeling vulnerable or trying and failing that, you know, we've got enough, we've got a roof over our head, we've got money, we've got all these things.

that we just become so comfortable we stop, even though we're desperately uncomfortable in so many circumstances. So, you know, that's, I wasn't expecting for that to come out of this conversation, but I think it is this real, know, life will make you more and more and more uncomfortable as Inara and I have actually experienced in the last six months with different things going on for both of us.

that life will eventually force you to birth something new.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (31:09.238)
Yeah. So I think, you know, now we're starting to feel the power of snot boy, that it's not just an inane representation of something actually, it's incredibly deep. And to continue on, I'll read just tiny bits of this, but Copperwoman was living with snot boy.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (31:11.826)
and interesting insight.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (31:16.904)
Mmm.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (31:35.83)
The incomplete mannequin in the place where the god woman had come to give her knowledge. She taught the strange small creature as much as she could, but he never really seemed to learn properly. When he built a weir, there was always one part of it not properly made, and many of the fish would escape.

When he built a fire, it was either too hot or not hot enough, and often he would burn himself. When he was through using a thing, he would leave it, never remembering to put it away where he could find it again. And sometimes he would forget to come home when the meal was ready, then would complain bitterly if his food was overdone or cold.

Copper woman would tease and make him forget his ill humor, laugh with him, and often she would sing for him, for she was less lonely with him than she had been when alone. But then her breasts start to grow large and tender, her belly fill and looked like the moon itself was trapped inside. And one day movement within her told her she was no longer one person. So she becomes two.

And at this point, she prays that this other, that's the other, the baby she's going to have, will not be incomplete like snot boy, but rather an entire person capable of responsibility and attention to detail. So it goes on that she gives birth.

She has the pain and the blood and there from this comes a small version of herself but altered. The copper skin was darker and her hair black, even blacker than that of Kuka was, the hair seal. And she has her daughter. And what is clear is that at this point, Snot Boy did not pay much attention to Mawita is the name of the daughter.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (33:35.938)
Sometimes he would play with her. Sometimes he would even hold her and speak softly to her. But mostly he went about his own affairs. Incomplete, he could catch fish, but it was Copper Woman and later Mawita who knew how to smoke and cure the fish. Time and time again, they showed Snot Boy how to do it, but he would laugh and say he had no time for such bothersome details. And he would leave laughing. So this...

is really where we leave the end of this chapter is that she's had a baby and what she feels is that for the first time

And when this child was walking, there was another, again, a girl, and to her daughters, Copper Woman taught the secrets. To her sons, she tried to teach more than snot boy would ever know. Many children had Copper Woman and their laughter rang clearly riding on the wind, climbing to the heavens as does the smoke of a fire, and life for them was pleasant. So she...

stops being lonely when she has her children. And it's the first piece where Snot Boy is always incomplete. There's always something that's a little bit irritating. He doesn't know where to put his socks. He leaves things out on the counter. It's all of that kind of stuff, right? But Mowita, who comes into being her daughter, this is the first time that she experiences somebody who is not incomplete.

something that it so that the relationship will always have an energy of incompletion, but the child has no incompletion. And being a mum of four, maybe you want to talk a bit about that piece.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (35:26.163)
you

I have such clear memories. I can even remember exactly where I was when I had the thought the first time when I was pregnant with my second child, being really concerned that I wouldn't be able to love the second baby as much as the first because I was so full of love for my first child. It's like, how can, how can I fit more love in? It was a very real thought. And then of course, you know,

with each child, your capacity to love expands. And it's interesting when I met my gorgeous now husband, we've been married for 10 years, I was slightly baffled how such an extraordinary man could fall in love with me. And I remember saying to him, what is it? You know, like, what is it about me? And he said a couple of things, but one was your capacity to love is extraordinary. And I guess I learned that from my children.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (36:26.944)
Amazing. And I think really what we're, what we're on to here in the story is that completion is, it's partly you, it's what you do, the choices that you make, and it's standing up to be empowered. And I was saying to you before the audience was let in on this that

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (36:27.507)
Yeah.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (36:52.778)
Then I had a period after this man left, I had a period of years, long, long time where I didn't date. And then I started dating always with apps and I could write a comedy show about that period of my life. I mean, they were horrendous. They were so bad that it would be like, you put that picture in and you looked like this.

sorry, you're 50 years older than you've represented. sorry, you're actually a military freak who loves guns. you know, it would be like that. And they were so extreme. never, I never met anyone who I would even vaguely say hello to on the street or at a party. met these extreme examples of people I would never ever, ever want to be with. And so I was at a wedding again.

another wedding. This time I'm not feeling any more. I've done all the, a lot of healing work on myself, but I'm at this friend's wedding in Bali and somebody said, you should meet this woman while you're in Bali. You should meet this woman. And she's an amazing therapist. didn't tell me what she was. So I ended up going to see her physically while I was in Bali, Celine Levy. are a fabulous woman.

And so shout out to Celine, cause I've worked with her ever since. And she said to me, I'm a tantric sex coach at the time. And I did think, bloody hell kind of thing. Is that where they've sent me to try and get through this bit? was like, okay. let's go and whatever you are going to teach me. the first thing, pretty much after she got into my story where she told me to stop using these apps.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (38:29.246)
You

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (38:45.418)
It was like permission. Every time I felt like somebody would go, single woman, Hey, you know, are you going out enough? Are you smiling enough? Are you too picky? Are you this and that? you dead? you do, do, do, you know, she said, all right. And I would have a knee jerk reaction to this thinking I'm not doing anything. So I must do something. So I'll go on an app and have another disastrous disappointing.

soul destroying experience. And she said, No, I want you to give them up. So she gave me the best boundary of no apps, no dating things, nothing. And I started to just work on my life that I loved anyway, this point, I was not lonely. But what was so interesting is that through this piece, I then started meeting more and more interesting men.

and they were more and more at my level that I'm looking for and I'm not settling for anything that isn't super fabulous like me, right? That's the level I'm at. And so it was like getting off that thing that women often, the biggest comment is you're a failure if you're single. And I would like to reinforce the idea that solo women,

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (39:47.708)
Yep.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (40:05.482)
enjoy your lives. They're amazing. Those who are in relationships, you have no idea what's really going on there. Often it's a settling of, and when I built up myself like that, it was like, okay, I'm solo. I love my life. I've got great friends and I'm inviting in somebody who is at my level. And

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (40:26.946)
Yeah.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (40:27.798)
So that's where I'm at right now. You know, this is that phase of life where I'm like curious going out. And I did meet somebody pretty incredible earlier this year that has not worked out. He was traveling a lot and he's not in touch and that doesn't work for me, but it was like, there are these incredible men out there and I've restored that faith in it. Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (40:40.882)
you

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (40:50.388)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I think, you know, what I would love to add to that conversation from being on the other side of the story is that the greatest mistake when we think of Copper Woman and Snot Boy and then Moita, her daughter and consequent children is the...

very flawed idea that a partner or children will somehow be an extension of us or complete us because both of those threads of thinking are incorrect. Both of those threads of thinking, know, the, the, it is a, a very dangerous place to go when we start to think of children as an extension or a reflection of us because they're their own people.

just as we're our own people. when people, know, like when we were in that situation with our own parents where they wanted us to excel at something or, you know, because it fitted the agenda that they had, you can feel how toxic that can be. So I think it's really important to anchor that point home that there is a loneliness that...

can happen regardless of how many children you have or how many partners you have or anything else. They're not supposed to fill that gap. It is in learning to really love ourselves. It's in learning to be completely authentic and aligned with who we're here to be that that loneliness starts to fill up. And I think that's an important point to bring home in this part of the conversation.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (42:38.508)
Yeah.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (42:46.134)
Yeah, super powerful. And for the listener, we wanted to also now this is where I'm going to leave it at this point in the story until the next time. But it's a great time to also talk a little bit about what the two of us are up to.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (42:56.434)
Hmm.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (43:05.714)
and bring in a contemporary conversation about what Edwina and I are actually doing together, but what we're doing separately, how you might want to connect in with some of the work that we do. So I think we might start with what we're doing together and then go separately into that. And I wanna mention the doorway again. We've mentioned it before. We've really now gotten into a space where we're

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (43:26.676)
Sure.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (43:35.148)
we're rolling it out, it's like an initiation and it is called the doorway because you can imagine these moments in life where you are in transition big time and to have something to lean into, to have some steps. If I'd have had something like the doorway at the time that I was describing or maybe you when you just had the children you were left on your own.

It's you choose where you're going to go. This is the work of the doorway. You are the one who is choosing what you're taking on. It's not like, Hey, it's going to be a business course, or it's going to be, you know, a life experience. get to choose what it is you're taking on, but the imagery is that you're standing in front of your next era. You're standing in front of that door and you'll know something is calling you.

it will be a soul calling something that you came to do in this life. So it's not just a tiny thing. It's actually the bigger context for something. And we are taking you through six master classes in which we'll teach different aspects of how to initiate your intuition to move through these vast

times and spaces for you to really be in full expression and to live a life that you are passionately happy about. That's what I would say about it. starts on the next one starts on 27th of September. And maybe you want to talk a little bit about that Edwina.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (45:13.448)
Well, you know, the way that I think about it is that, you know, that threshold of something new. So I think in terms of chapters in a life story, it's this feeling of, know there's something more. I know there's something else I'm here to do, a deeper connection to self and a deeper connection to life and the life I'm here to live. And so the doorway is this place that you can arrive and step through. Anara and I are going to guide you.

with the things that we get to leave behind, connecting more deeply to intuition again, and the vision of all that's possible. And in amongst all of that, there's beautiful healing modalities and experiences to tap into as well.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (46:02.636)
And then maybe you would like to talk about what you individually are putting out as well. What's your work right now?

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (46:09.204)
Yeah, well, I think because this can be listened to at any time, the one thing that is open to speaking to me about is the one -on -one life coaching. And I do this with women for a minimum of 12 months, but many of my clients come for two, three, even four years to work through

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (46:15.425)
Hmm.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (46:35.964)
you know exactly what I've just been talking about with the doorway in many ways, but it is about, you know, it's interesting when I think about the way that it works in context to what we've been talking about in this episode is that idea that you don't have to do this alone.

in any area of our lives where we make extraordinary progress and achieve amazing things. It's always when we've had somebody in our corner, you know, when we're children, it's parents and then it's teachers and then it's university lecturers or bosses at school or, you know, it is that support and accountability to create something really different. So in my private coaching containers, we do a brand new vision for a new chapter in your life. Two of the women that I'm working with at the moment.

have both lost husbands and are now single and it's looking at what's next and new chapters in their lives. So we create this beautiful vision and then there's the support and accountability, you know, step by step every week to bring that vision to life. And it really is the most extraordinary work. Yeah. And I think if, you know, like if there's, depending on when somebody's listening to this, you can always find what I'm up to through being.

on my email list at edwina at edwinamd .com or on Instagram and Facebook. Social media makes it so easy to see what people are up to now. It's a great point of contact. Yeah. So how about you, Inara? What's coming up for you?

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (48:06.484)
A couple of things. One is that I've quite regularly run retreats. And so it doesn't matter when you are, excuse me, getting in touch, there'll always usually be something. But the one that I'm running this autumn is to Egypt and it's nine days called the Queen of the Nile.

And what we're doing in it is I went to Egypt twice about 20 years ago. And each I've had extraordinary experiences in Egypt. mean, really over the top, extraordinary. I've ended up in the King's chamber in the main pyramid and on my own chanting and having

kind of out of body experiences. So when I went to Egypt and I would have these extreme experiences, I knew that at some point I would do a retreat. And then it's taken, at least 15 years, I couldn't give you the time, but for me to feel that it's the right time. And this is the right time.

And so at the beginning of the year, I got in touch with somebody who takes people in private excursions luxury to meditate. He himself is an Egyptian and he meditates in sacred sites. So he gets me what I do. And I'm taking my singing chalice and the work that we'll be doing is really the work of the kings and queens. So we'll be in the footsteps of these kings and queens who

who were actually in these different temples, but I will be doing the work that I do where I get you to accelerate and raise your consciousness up to your highest level. So we drop all the small stuff, all the routine questions, and you stay in this consciousness of really who you are as your operating system as queen or king. And then there will be an opportunity also for photographs.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (50:14.316)
because I really like doing photo shoots with clients or people on, you know, group activities to see who you are when you start to operate like that. So that's that. And it's right in the middle of November. So it's the eighth till the 18th, but we'll be doing it over the most powerful full moon in Taurus, which is where the moon is exalted. It means all good things go on with that on the bank of the Nile.

And then the other work that I'm doing is it's come out of the work that I also do private coaching with people for long periods of time. It often starts with a small concept and then, you know, I have clients who I've been working with for three and a half years, but the concept that I want to put out there is your harvest. And I started to get this work together because some of the women that I've worked with quite recently and,

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (50:45.854)
Thanks.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (51:14.144)
women and man. There's one particular man who is the head of a very significant company in a way, but he said, I want you to teach me how to do things with the moon. And so I have aligned harvest with being able to take you through your harvest building by working at certain aspects of the moons. It's a slow approach to building something.

And often, I think the category of people that I always help, they're often burned out. They're on their knees. They're in transition. They might be making money, but they're not happy fully. And they're not definitely not living their dream. And so what we often do is we shift the way you work.

into this cyclical way of working. So there are some times to accelerate, sometimes to launch things, but equally there's times of pausing reflection marination. And that's how you can launch many things at the same time, but at different schedules in the cycle.

So that's what I'm going to be doing. will be, I want to work with those for 11 months, not 12 months, because 11 is a master number. So it would work with you for 11 months to produce your incredible harvest for next year, 2025. And you can find me on social media, Inara Ariane Griffin on Instagram and Facebook. I'm sort of on LinkedIn, but not really. And you can send me an email to inara at

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (52:38.484)
Beautiful. Perfect.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (52:52.116)
the visionaries dot international, the whole word international, not int. Yeah. So that's us and what we're up to right now. We are a resource. We're not just a podcast. We're actually one of the things I became present to about this body of work is so often you've got coaches who teach a quick system to produce a quick result in some ways.

The thing about these stories that we're speaking into is it's meant to be a backdrop of nourishment for you along the path of your journey. So it's not a quick fix. It's a deepening. Everything is a deepening so that you can lean in and it's a, you know, free resource. We may do something with a membership site at some point, but.

It's meant to inspire you to really dig deep into your lives and be able to go, you know what, I'm at that phase. This is what that looks like. I'm going to gather some resources together and I am going to build the life that I love. Cause I know other women have done it. That kind of thing. Yeah.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (54:05.512)
Yep. Yep. And not have to do it alone. That's the key. Yeah.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (54:12.694)
and not have to do it alone. So I think that's a great place to stop and leave you with the beauty of Snotboy. We'll come back and carry on the story as it goes. And for now, it's goodbye from us.

Edwina Murphy-Droomer (54:32.04)
Fantastic. So much love. Bye for now.

Inarra  Aryane Griffyn (54:34.328)
So much love.