Missed Calls - Episode 01

Episode Summary:
In this raw and heartfelt debut episode of the "Missed Calls" segment, I begin a new chapter in my podcasting journey by speaking directly to my pops. These episodes are personal, unfiltered, and filled with emotion as I leave voicemails for him, tell stories from others, and reflect on our connection. It's a blend of grief, nostalgia, and the love that continues even after loss.

I share my own story of returning to Bali after a life-changing period, navigating the struggles of being far from home, starting over, and finding solace in memories of my dad. This episode also features two touching stories from childhood friends of my dad, offering glimpses of the man he was through the eyes of those who knew him best.

Episode Highlights:

• [00:00:00] Introduction to Missed Calls: I explain the inspiration behind this special segment and the raw, unpolished nature of these episodes as I speak directly to my dad.
• [00:02:00] First Voicemail to My Dad: I share a deeply personal voicemail, talking about my life, struggles, and how my dad's presence remains in my daily routine, from hand taps to gusts of wind.
• [00:10:00] Story from Tracy: A friend of my dad shares a memory from when I was just a baby, and she reflects on his love for Harry Chapin and his pride in me.
• [00:12:00] Story from Kerri: Another childhood friend remembers a sweet moment from Billings Park, showcasing my dad's kindness and accountability, even as a child.

Reflection:
These stories remind me of how much my dad's life continues to touch others, even in small ways. This episode is about holding onto those connections and finding strength in memories shared by those who loved him.

How to Contribute:
Want to share your own memory or message for my dad? I’d love to hear from you! Click here to record a voicemail or send a text. Your story could be featured in an upcoming episode.

Stay Connected:

• Learn more about the podcast and how to submit your own voicemail or story about dan - https://coriorak.com/hey-pops-podcast
• Get involved and learn more about the Dan Culhane Memorial Fund - https://www.danculhanememorialfund.org/

Subscribe & Review:
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your feedback helps others find the show and supports me in continuing to share these stories.

Thank you for being part of this journey with me. See you next week for Episode 2 of "Hey Pops."

Transcript

0:00

Hey listeners, I am happy to introduce the second part of this project, which is kind of my favorite part, but these episodes are called missed calls. And in these episodes, I will be speaking directly to my dad. This will be through a voicemail that I'm leaving him. Telling him stories that other people have told me about him or playing stories that you have called in and recorded yourselves. I think this is such a beautiful way to connect directly with him. And these episodes are going to be a little bit more rough cut. They're going to be a little bit more raw, a little bit more noisy with background sounds, because. Speaking directly to my dad is not polished, is not careful, it's not edited as much. I want it to be as raw and natural as it can be. Um, I talk to my dad every day, I mean, every single day, I do this weird hand tap with my fingers. on the fridge door, or on my leg when I'm thinking, which I know is something he does. If I ever have a glass of wine or a beer, I cheers my dad. Doesn't matter what I'm doing, where I am, or why I'm drinking it. The day that he passed away, there were these huge gushes of wind and it was really late at night. And ever since then, I feel him in the wind. So whenever I get a big burst of wind, I, I say hi and talk to him. So I like all those little elements, those extra sounds, the, if I tap on my table or if there's a huge wind burst or even motorbikes, I think they're all part of this direct connection with my dad. Um, so I will play the first episode of Miss Calls. It's a mix of my first voicemail to my dad. I did this as an actual call. I, I put my phone on voice memo and I just sat there talking into my phone. And then, um, I'm going to read two really great stories that some childhood friends of my dad's wrote on Facebook after I posted the first episode last week. So I hope you enjoy. I have a link in the show notes of how to record your own message to my dad or record your own story. You don't have to say your name. You don't have to identify yourself. If you want to, please do, um, but those go directly to me and I'll pop them in the next episode. So, thank you! Hi, it's Dan. I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message, I'll call you right back. Thanks. Hey, Pop. Just sitting here having some coffee and, um, about to start my Monday. It's August 19th. 2024, which sounds bonkers and in the future, it's um, it's exactly two years to the day that I arrived back in Bali, um, after splitting up with Jake and spending a month with Nancy and Chloe. All four of us. One big happy family at your house. And it's, it's crazy. I can't believe that I'm on the other side. You know, it was really scary there for a while, Dad. Like, I didn't know, I didn't know if I was gonna make it. I, I didn't, I didn't know how to change every single aspect of my life. I mean I'm not gonna give you all the credit, but you leaving started a snowball effect that changed the trajectory of my entire life. Um, I, the first year, uh, was weird, but not fully the hardest. Um, I mean, it was fun for a few months when I first got here because it was all so new, but then it was all so shocking that, you know, what my life had become. Um, and then in 2023, I spent the year still working. at ExoTek and still, um, talking to Jake every week or every other week and it was a really, really difficult thing to navigate being here and alone, um, while still, like, having a daily connection to my old life. Like, it was so hard to find. my identity and um, towards the end of last year, I just fully, fully broke. I, it was the worst. I, uh, I wasn't leaving the house and it was really hard to be around people and I was really, really scared about money. And if I did lose all of my money, which I didn't really have any, I didn't know what would happen. I mean, honest to God, I didn't know what would happen. Um, I'm, I'm in a foreign country and I don't really feel very safe or comfortable going back to America. And, oh man, it was just really, really scary. And so, The past eight months now, um, I've been on sabbatical, um, thanks to you being, you know, freaking guardian angel is always coming and saving me a little bit with financial security for a few months that I could just stop and let all of the snow settle, like, as if, I was shook up in a snow globe for three solid years and you know I got to set it down and let the the snow settle and finally see See through it see where I live see who I am and it's been weird and it's been fun. It's been hard to Accept relaxation and, and relief and, and really understand that I'm safe and okay and Nancy's really been there for me and I chat with her all the time, you know, half of our texts are like fart jokes and true crime stories and I just really found family in her and And I know you would love that so fucking much. Um, and yeah, so here we are, uh, again, it's August 19th and you know, a little half over halfway into 2024 and I'm starting a new career. And I'm back doing audio engineering and sound recording and man I wish I could call you and have you listen to my edits and give me advice and tricks of the trade and I still, you know, have a lot. of your tips and tricks from way back when, and I know to smile and have a good, put on a good face while I'm recording, so it sounds good. And I know how to make a little studio in my bedroom to make the sound quality record good, and I have all of that with me and The way I have it set up, I'm kind of like looking at a picture of you when I record the episodes. Um, but I'm doing all of that just so I can like kind of teach myself and you know, learn something. And I'm learning something every day. Um, you'd be so proud of me. Um, I'm trying to remember that every day, that you'd be proud and that I should be proud of myself, that I'm here. I'm 40. I'm like a little old lady on an island with a cat. And I'm having fun and laughing. I have fun. Um, some really good Indonesian friends, and you know I have my Vietnamese friends when I go back to Vietnam, and I have a net. Finally, I feel like a net, and it's a small net, but it's stronger than I've ever had before, and you'd be really proud. And, um, I I know you are proud. I know you see it and, um, take you with me and talk to you and cheers you every day and yeah, I just, I wanted to check in and tell you where I'm at and how I'm doing and I wanted to let you know that I'm going to be calling you a lot more. A lot more often and talking to you a hell of a lot more. And, I think there's a couple of people out there that are going to call in as well, um, just to remind you, you know, how much you matter, and what a difference you've made, and how much you are still a part of people's everyday life. You're still definitely a part of my life, every day. And, Um, I love you, and I'm excited to show you, uh, the podcast producer that I've become. Hopefully I get confident in it and have fun with it and I can, you know, play you all the lessons, all the episodes that I, that I create, um, or I obviously don't create, but I do. I'm mixed. Or whatever, you know. Anyways, I love you, and I'll talk to you soon. Your friend, Tracy, has a great story. She says, My first husband grew up in Billings Park and was a friend of your dad's growing up. The first and only time I met you was when your dad brought you to Superior home when you were just a baby. I remember teasing him because he had dressed you in just a diaper and a t shirt. No cute curly outfit. We shared a love of Harry Chapin and I remember being so thrilled that you were named Corey. As Nancy said, your pops was so proud of you and loved you fiercely. I have earlier fond memories of your dad from junior high and high school, where we both participated in the plays and forensics. He was so much fun to be around and was such a sweet person. I wish you all the best with this new venture. I don't even know you, but I'm proud of you. These are the kind of stories that you invoke, pops. They're all great. They're all interesting. They're all fun. But all your love and pride is shared throughout all of them. And the other one is from another childhood friend named Carrie. She said, I grew up in Billings Park, two blocks away from your dad. I remember one time we met at the corner store to get a pop for my mom. He wanted to carry it home for me, but I was very shy and I wouldn't let him. We scuffed a little and it ended up breaking. Danny walked me home and explained to my mom what happened. We lost touch later in life, but I never forgot how sweet he was. I've shared this story many times. I love this story, not only because you were a gentleman even when you were a kiddo, but because it was from Lesses and I can picture the entire scenario in Billings Park and I just love that you held yourself accountable and made sure that Carrie didn't get in trouble. There's just a little bit of extra love for you and for me. from the people back home in Superior, Wisconsin. Thank you all for listening. As I said, this is kind of my favorite part of the whole project. I am excited to have this back and forth where I get a nostalgic Hey Pops episode. And then the other week is this direct connection. So stay tuned to leave a message if you like. You can even send a text in the show notes. So anyway, you want to connect, please do. I love hearing from you. I love hearing stories about my dad. I love learning new things about him that I never knew. This is already proving to be a pretty powerful practice in exploration and nostalgia and grief. So thank you. And I will see you next week for episode two of Hey Pops.