Missed Calls - Episode 04

In this episode of Missed Calls, I return after a little break to leave a voicemail for my dad. It’s been a while since I’ve spoken to him, and a lot has happened. I share updates on my recent travels to Vietnam—a place that will always feel like home. From catching up with old friends and enjoying local hot pot spots to reflecting on past memories, this episode is a mix of nostalgia and healing.

Listen in as I talk about reconnecting with the people and places that mean so much to me, Creature’s latest adventure (and vet visit), and how I’ve started to feel more like myself again after such a long time. I reflect on the transformation I've undergone since 2019 and how it’s led to a "new normal" in my life. I also share my thoughts on the connection I still feel with my dad, especially through dreams, and how his legacy of kindness continues to resonate in the world around me.

Key Moments:

• [00:00] – Intro: Catching up after a break
• [02:10] – Vietnam trip reflections: Friends, food, and favorite memories
• [09:00] – Creature’s adventure: Vet visits, motorbike rides, and rainstorms
• [12:00] – Reflecting on life changes since 2019 and finding a "new normal"
• [19:00] – Dreams of my dad: The comfort of mini-hangs and cherished memories
• [23:00] – Grateful for my dad’s influence: Learning to embrace adventure, difference, and love
• [26:30] – Looking ahead to future episodes: Sharing clips from Dad’s radio career

Next Week:

I’ll be sharing a special episode filled with various clips from my dad’s voiceover and radio career. Stay tuned for a trip down memory lane with the sound of his voice!

Thank you for joining me on this personal journey. If you’d like to leave a voicemail for my dad or share a story about him, I’d love to hear from you. You can reach out through the contact details below.

Don’t Miss:

• Submit Your Voicemails: Want to share your own stories or memories? Submit a voicemail here. We'd love to hear from you!
• Get involved and learn more about the Dan Culhane Memorial Fund - https://www.danculhanememorialfund.org/

Stay Tuned: Next week is a full Hey Pops episode - with a compilation of audio clips of my dad from his career in radio and voiceovers

Remember to learn something new today, and thanks for listening!

Transcript

 It's been a while.  I am back for another episode of missed calls. I had a couple of weeks off and there was a few Hey Pops episodes in between. So I haven't had a good chat with my pops in quite a while. So sit back, relax, and listen to a voicemail to my dad. 

Hi, it's Dan. I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message, I'll call you right back. Thanks. 

Huh?  Long time no talk.  I haven't left you a voicemail in a little bit too long. I think it's been nearly a month. It's, let's see, October 22nd, and a lot's happened since I last talked to you. I spent the first week of October in Vietnam. You know it has such a great place in my heart. I went to eat all my favorite foods, and then I got to see my friend George, who um, I taught English with in 2006, so it was so cool to hang out with him, and his wife, who I also worked with, and their little boy, Harry, and then I got to hang out with Khan.

I got to hang out with Khan more than once. Because, you know, she's my bestie. Khan was the, um, woman who ran kids club and then just turned into a lifelong friend. Her and I went out on a date and then, um, towards the end of my trip, we went and got our nails done. And, uh, who else did I see? My friend Pam, who I met Pam when I used to live in a teeny tiny alleyway.

Um, the first time when Jake and I broke up, and I used to live in this, like, tall, skinny house by myself. She was my next door. There was, like, a house next door that was just full of people, and it was amazing, because I lived in my nice, isolated house, and next door I had all the people. It was just super fun times.

So I got to hang out with her. I went to a Pilates class with her, and I also got to see a bunch of my Vietnamese girlfriends. Oh, they mean the world to me. They were my best friends living there, and I loved working with them at Kids Club, and They came out and visited me for Christmas, not Christmas Day, but like, around Christmas time.

The first year I was here, so two years ago, I got to have a really fun, like, coffee catch up with some of them, and then two of them I went on on a date. We went to a hot pot restaurant that had one of those conveyor belts. You know those sushi places where there's conveyor belts and you grab the plates you want?

I've only been to those once before, but this was a hot pot place. It was amazing. There was like a conveyor belt that went around that had like veggies, meat, all of it fresh coming right out of the kitchen. And you would grab like a personal sized portion, and you could pick out whatever you wanted and put it in your hot pot.

Oh my gosh, it was so good. And it was amazing because you paid Like, once y, and then you got to take as much as you wanted. I've never been so full. It was, ugh, a dream, yeah. What else did I do when I was in Vietnam? I went to the movies, twice. What did I see? I saw a movie that was like a thriller, that was super predictable and not that great, and then I saw the new Joker movie, which I actually liked, but it's getting canned in the, um, reviews or whatever.

Whatever, I just loved it. I love going to the movies by myself. But yeah, God, I had a great week in Vietnam. I made sure that I didn't have any work projects or anything to do, so I was just there kind of on holiday, and it felt so good to just be there. I feel like myself again, and every time I go to Vietnam, it's going home.

It's, okay, I always relate it to going home from college, like, that familiarity and that safety and security, and, you know, I love it, and I'm going to continue going at least twice a year every year for the rest of my life,  as long as I can. It had to pause, you know, during the pandemic and whatever, but I will never not feel bummed out that I didn't get to take you around to Vietnam.

But I do love that one gift I got you where it was this cool old gift. He's here to talk about the things that you have said for the past three years, your This is a beautiful book that has all these old images from around Ho Chi Minh City. And then I went around and took pictures of what they look like now.

That is kind of a way that I could bring you with me. But you always, and it all in calls with you, either learn something or take pictures. And because of you I have these pictures. So many great documented photos and I think you got to live a bit vicariously through that. Just now, let's see, I got home from the vet.

I drove Creature to the vet because she's been limping. She's been getting in a fight with this mean, mean, big cat that's I don't know where it came from, but it's bigger than Creature. Creature's like the biggest cat I've ever seen in Bali, and this other cat's bigger and like, gnarly looking. I thought Creature was gangsta, but nope.

But she's fine. She got a little antibiotics just to make sure from her scratches and stuff, but it's awesome because to take Creature to the vet, I strap her, into like a sling bag and she goes on the motorbike with me and we go on a motorbike cruise. So we just kind of took off for I guess like maybe an hour.

I think it only took an hour. It's like a 15 minute drive and it cost me 350, 000 rupiah. Which, I still am bad with converting. But, like 20? Probably less than 20? I mean, the few visits I had to take Creature 2 in America, holy shit, practically bankrupt me. I can't believe it. And, anyway, I'm a little winded because I just got back from that little excursion.

It started raining on us while we were driving home, and I'm just  She's laughing and grateful at the fact that, uh, Gogi, the neighbor cat, is locked out because Creech is on vet ordered, uh, house lockdown.  Um, but Creech is vet ordered lockdown because, um, a bite from the cat and so she's got scratches and stuff, so she's gotta like rest up and heal.

So, it's an excuse for her and I to just be in Aircon's little cozy heaven for a few days. The poor gogi who comes and visits a couple of times a day just had to meow and leave. But what a crazy life I live that I just bopped my cat on the back of a motorbike, we got caught in the rain a little bit,  went to the vet.

I love this life. I'm feeling more human, I think that's what I've taken away from October, is I'm feeling more human. I mean, I'm starting to feel like I used to feel before. It all went to shit. As I reflect back, I think it's been since 2019. I had this incredible year, and I also had the worst year because of the year you were diagnosed.

But the rest of that year, I went to Ghana, I went to Vietnam, I went to Indonesia, I went to like three different states in the U. S. I think I went to Vietnam a couple of times. It was just this jam packed, fruitful year of adventure learning. trip and insanity, but I think that was also the start of the fall and, you know, I spent the last two months of the year home with you in Minnesota.

And then once we felt like everything was safe, getting back to normal or whatever, and I get back to, Southeast Asia, we closed for COVID, and then the whole world closed for COVID. So I think it's been, uh, one hell of a long time since I've just kind of felt like a normal human. I'm still having these ebbs and flows where I feel great.

And then I feel off for a day or two or whatever, which actually is quite normal for me, but I'm feeling less. Like the other shoe is gonna drop and more like I'm okay, I'm gonna be okay, everything's okay. It's a little bit easier for me to just feel and exist and be present and have fun instead of that feeling of forcing it.

I'm back to going to my favorite workout classes like five days a week or so and that's you know my social burst because I'm such a homebody and I work from home and I don't really talk to many people and so seeing Everyone that works at the studio, everyone that works at the cafe and saying hi every day and seeing the teachers that are my friends and then seeing some of my peers that go to these classes.

They're my dose of social energy and engagement for the day and it, that's the scene for the day and I'm just so glad that little things like that are now becoming second nature and just flowing. I really had no idea if I was ever going to be a normal human being again. And the thing is, is that I'm not back to normal.

I'm a new normal. I'm a new Cory. I do things differently. And I'm way more free. And I think you would be surprised. So you are so happy to see this. I know you're watching every day. I know I'm like one of the best channels to watch. I know you check in on Joe and you check in on Nancy and you check in on your family and you've got all these cool people that love you everywhere because you're amazing and you're loved by everyone everywhere.

But I know that I'm a really cool TV show so I know you've been watching like You know, what's going on in my world, like reality TV, but I just know that you'd be so proud of the life I lead and that I'm still here and that I'm still me, and I'm free and safe, and I've made a lot of tough decisions, and I'm I'm proud of myself for doing those, and I just, ugh, and I'm really missing you.

There's been a lot of really heavy swings, but on the plus side, you've been showing up in my dreams more often, so it's like I get these mini hangs, which I really love. It's incredible, it's incredible living a life without you here. But at the same time, you are here. And I think that I allow myself to have the sad moments and have the acknowledgements of, God, I wish I could tell my dad about this show.

I wish I could tell my dad. You. I wish I could tell you about new music, new series that I'm watching that you'd like. They're making a Peaky Blinders movie, Dad. Ugh. Man, what I wouldn't give to be able to watch that with you. But at the same time, I'm just so grateful to have been someone lucky enough to love you, and for you to have shown me and shared with me your love for reading, and books, and stargazing, and camping, and fishing, and being adventurous.

And being different, showing me that it's okay to be different. And I just, I love you. I just really am missing you. I'm really missing the idea of being able to get one of those back breaking hugs from you again. But I do love that I get to talk to you every day. I have that great photo of us hugging and crying together from your wedding.

It's up where I see it every day, and I look and talk to it every day, and I think I've told you this before, but there's not a time where I don't have a glass of wine or a beer. It doesn't matter if I'm with other people or if I'm just having one with dinner, that I don't cheers you and salute you, which is actually pretty cool.

It's like a little prayer. It's a little, Gratitude before I have my drink. I've missed this. I've missed talking to you. I just want you to know that I'm okay. I'm safe. I'm healthy. I'm happy. I'm happier than I've been in years. Which, I can't even begin to explain how relieved I am that I am happy.  I'm excited for the future, too.

I can't believe it's nearly 2025. I mean, we're coming up on another damn election. You were here for the last election. We were watching that asshole fly away from the White House together.  Well, I was in Ahmed, Bali, and you were in Minneapolis, and we were just talking shit and watching that together. And now we're up having another one.

Wouldn't you believe we've got Minnesota represented in the running. And that's really shifted things and gotten a bit of a change in, in the environment. But it is all still very scary. It is all still very wild. The whole world is pretty, pretty rough off right now. But there is still so much good in the world.

And there is There's still so much kindness, and the kindness that you shared while you were here is still around. So, I love you. I can't wait to see you again in some dreams. Let's go to the Bounty Waters next time. I'm gonna make that happen. Maybe tonight. I'll see you at the Bounty Waters. I love you. 

Thank you so much to everyone out there who listens to not only the Hey Pops episodes, but to these Missed Calls episodes. These are unique, a little different, a little more personal, but I find there's power in sending my voicemails out into the world to my dad. So not only does he get to hear them through the radio waves, you get to have a little glimpse into what's going on. 

Not like my Hey Pops episodes don't ramble on about my life updates, but thank you for listening. And I am going to see if I can't put the word out and get a few call ins. For you out there, because I would love to hear some stories about my dad or some messages that you might have for him.  So stay safe, stay tuned.

And next week's Hey Pops is going to be filled with various clips of my dad's voiceover career and radio career just to have a nice little collage and I just really want to listen to my pops. So I love you. Thank you for listening and learn something.