A Boomer and GenXer Walk into a Bar
Wit and wisdom, some smart assery, and a Mother and Daughter questioning “Are we even related?”
A Boomer and GenXer Walk into a Bar
Bikes, Swipes, and Online Dating S1:E11
Join us as we recount our laugh-out-loud adventures through the modern dating scene, where apps like Hinge, Tinder, and Bumble offer more surprises than connections. From sharing our own rollercoaster stories to exploring alternative meet-up spots like pickleball courts and buzz-worthy bars, we promise a hilarious take on navigating the dating landscape post-fifty.
email: boomerandgenxer@gmail.com
There's a.
Speaker 2:Sorry, do you ever think about me? Check, check, check, check, check check Honey, are you okay?
Speaker 1:No, I'm not okay. I'm like a bobblehead.
Speaker 2:Let's go again. I think my neck's broken.
Speaker 1:I did think my neck was broken.
Speaker 2:Welcome, welcome everyone to today's show. A boomomer and a Gen Xer Walk Into a Bar Coming to you from the Rabbit Hole Studio, where you, as a listener, will experience some wit and wisdom, some smart assery and a mother and daughter questioning. Are we even related? My name is Bobbi Joy and my co-host is my mother, jane, and for the next 20, 25 minutes or so, we're here to entertain, you entertain me.
Speaker 1:We had a lot of entertainment today that we were talking about, I guess. Oh, my goodness, so, uh, the topic today, you know, uh, we both kind of face this situation and we were talking to some people today. We were on a motorcycle ride and we were talking to some people today about dating in today's world and, um, you know, just, you know what's out there. And, specifically, though, what do you have to offer? Because there's a lot of women that I talk to that if they, they'll tell me they'll go. Oh, if you know any guys, if you know any guys my age, you know, let me know. And and then you introduce them to somebody and they go well, he's too short. Well, you know, he's, he's too fat or he's. You know, I just don't like the way he plays pickleball or whatever. And you kind of want to look at them and go well, you're about 30 pounds overweight, uh, you don't.
Speaker 2:There's the age gap there. I don't like how he plays pickleball. I don't like. If he does play pickleball at this point, that means he's way out of my age range.
Speaker 1:But there's always these weird conditions, right, because we judge people for the wrong things and you know when's it going to get to a point where you kind of go, well, what do I have to offer, what do I bring to the table, right? Yeah, so we've both been in this situation, bobby, yeah. So we've, both been in this situation, bobby. Yeah, and I do want to tell a couple of stories about when I was single, because I have had some pretty bizarre I mean really bizarre encounters.
Speaker 2:But all right, hold on to your butts, people, because this is going to be something this is going to be something.
Speaker 1:I've got Dr Domain sitting here trying to talk to me about something and I don't even know what this says. Tell me what that says, doc.
Speaker 2:It was a joke that you heard on social media.
Speaker 1:And what was?
Speaker 2:it. She's like well, take all the leftovers.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I did hear a comedian and they were talking about all of the um, all of the dating apps. You know, and I was kind of looking up the dating apps there's hinge, there's tinder, there's bumble, there's e-harmony, okay, cupid, there's facebook dating. Yeah, there's all kinds of stuff out there. Yeah, you know, even christian apps and and and oh yeah, find a farmercom find a farmer, whatever that one is.
Speaker 1:Um match, uh, you know, there's just, there's just a buttload of them out there and I heard this comedian say they had to just roll them all together and say this is what you get, this is all that's left, and I thought what a great idea.
Speaker 1:You know, here's what's left, ladies, here's what's left, gentlemen and just roll them all together so, uh, but anyway, um, dating today has to be, and I feel so fortunate to have found my man, I bet, and uh, I will say uh, dating today is kind of a crap shoot, because you thought, you were gonna say crap, pile it kind of is that too.
Speaker 1:But you know, where do you meet people really, unless you do go on an app? Where are you meeting people now? Today we're on a motorcycle ride. If you were single and there were some single guys there, you know, it would be nice to strike up a conversation and see if you really had anything in common other than riding a motorcycle. Yeah, um, you know, again, I do play pickleball. There are some single women and single men there, and you know, but usually all they're talking about is pickleball.
Speaker 2:Right, and that's it.
Speaker 1:And so you know where else is there to go To a bar.
Speaker 2:Ugh.
Speaker 1:You know, the thing that I found when I was single was if I find a man in a bar he likes being there, yeah, that's where you're going to find him any other night too.
Speaker 2:That's where he's going to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's where you're going to find him. Any other night too, that's where he's going to be, and I have never been one to sit in a smoke filled or not even smoke filled anymore, but a dark bar.
Speaker 1:I want to do things I want to hike, I want to bike, I want to, you know, go, do all kinds of stuff. And so you kind of ask yourself you sound exhausting, though I am kind of. I'm kind of ask yourself you sound exhausting, though I am kind of I'm kind of high maintenance, aren't I? It's like, oh my gosh, can't she just sit still for a minute? So where would you, bobby? You're single, where would you meet people?
Speaker 2:Okay. Well, let's start with I'm in my forties, Okay.
Speaker 1:So you're old too, I am. I am old too, and it's not really the.
Speaker 2:The dating pool is shallow and not clean and I think someone peed in it because it's not. I mean the options. I'm sure you know, if I traveled the world and was, you know, in different states, you know, for like my job or something every few weeks or things like that, it would be different, uh, but I'm in a small town. I do travel to bigger cities, you know, for whatever, but still pretty local. I'm not. I'm not in the bar scene, I'm not. You know, I don't play pickleball. I don't basically, if the amazon delivery driver doesn't deliver him I don't think I'm finding him at this point.
Speaker 1:He's not coming. If he doesn't come, fedex or ups, then pretty well screwed. But um, it is hard to find people and I do know that there's a, there are chat rooms out there and there's also gaming, and people do meet other people through gaming. As a matter of fact, uh, I do know that dr domain's son is a gamer and he met his girlfriend through gaming. Oh yeah, and that's cool. That's something that they have in common and they seem pretty compatible. Now they're young. I don't know if that's going to last or not.
Speaker 1:Not for me to say but I'm just saying that that's an avenue also. But you know other than that, unless you're working with someone, yeah, what do you do?
Speaker 2:it's, it's hard, especially you know raising kids. You go to their appointments, you take them. You know clothes shopping, take them what to, whatever they want to do. And it's I don't know. Do I meet somebody in the school pickup line? No, I don't want to do that no, but I've seen those parents.
Speaker 1:But you know what is what is attractive to you, know the folks who are single today. I will say, when I was single and I'm older, obviously I'm the boomer. But even in my most recent single dumb days, single dumb days, I was very adamant that you know. If you're not, and I don't need somebody who's wealthy, I got my own money Right, but I wanted someone. At this age, you should be financially stable. At this age, you should be financially stable.
Speaker 1:On their own. Yeah, on their own. I don't need to pay for you. I don't need to pay for you, you don't need to pay for me, right? I don't need it, that's okay with me right um, and then also, you know, are they willing to travel and are? Do they have the same interests as me? You know that's hard to find and at my age, the older you get and I will say anything over 45 to 50 you start looking for a partner and you have to consider am I going to be their caretaker?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, because I mean I know Dr Domain's over here going.
Speaker 2:Oh, I never thought about comes to, like you know, being physical and being having a healthy lifestyle, being active at a lot of people your age they just aren't like that anymore. You know, maybe once a week they'll get out and do something right you know, I said you retired and I can never find you now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like's, like you retired and you're gone. I've moved three times and you keep finding me Right. Yeah, and you know, I look back when my mom, your grandma, was my age. She was tired. Now, come on, she was tired, she raised seven kids, I was going to say after seven kids, though I'd be tired too.
Speaker 2:Leave me alone.
Speaker 1:Right, and she also didn't have the conveniences that we have today, right, you know, she didn't have a microwave. She got up in the morning, she started, she cooked breakfast for my dad, um, then she started working on lunch and then she started working on supper right, and so she was constantly working at that. She was tired, yeah. But I do look at some of my friends, even now, and I think I've even had friends say to me you know, what are you going to do when you retire? Are you gonna? You know? And I go, I don't know, and they go. Well, you could learn how to knit or crochet, and don't get me wrong, absolutely nothing wrong with knitting, nothing wrong with crocheting. I know how to do both.
Speaker 2:I've both. You already know how to do it.
Speaker 1:I did them in my 20s? Yeah, but I just want to look at them and go do you even know me? I cannot sit still for a 30 minute sitcom. No, okay, so I am not going to go into old age other than kicking and screaming.
Speaker 2:That is how I'm going right but um, getting a lot of people your age don't do that, that's true. It's a lot of people my age don't do that, that's true but so what would you be looking for at your age, bobby?
Speaker 1:what would? What would be something that would make you come out of your singledom?
Speaker 2:god, it would have to be something amazing, Because at this point I've just I've been drug through the mud so bad that I just, you know, when it comes to relationships. Yeah, I'm not even looking at this point, because I have children to raise and I do raise them on my own, right. You know, I don't have their biological fathers in their lives, right? So I am the parent, okay, cool. But I'm not looking to parent another grown child, right, right?
Speaker 1:and at your age I'm not doing it you could find a man that has children that are the same age, if not younger, than your own kids right now, and you do have to ask yourself is that really what I want to take on right?
Speaker 2:well, right, and. And on the other side, does he really want to take on my kids? Well, I mean, they're my grandkids and I don't even want to take on right. Well, right and. And on the other side, does he really want to take on my kids?
Speaker 1:well, I mean, they're my grandkids and I don't even want to take you, won't even take them for a weekend.
Speaker 2:But I mean like if, if some miracle were to happen and sweet baby jesus came down himself and said, bobby, you need to get back in the dating pool, I'd be like where'd you come from? But um, there, I think it would be more along the lines of you. You know where they have to be self-sufficient. I'm not going to take care of you, I'm not going to take care of your kids and step into this role. You know, unless we're actual partners in something, right, you know, you say a lot of people say, well, what do you bring to the table? Well, I bring the whole damn table.
Speaker 1:Okay, basically, you're pulling up a chair to my table. You got stuff on that table, ain't none of us want? Okay, that is true.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to say you know, when it comes to it, I make my own money. I, you know, I own my own cars. I own my own vehicles. I take care of what I have to take care of and I'm not looking for someone to take care of me financially. Would it be nice? Absolutely. Absolutely, it would be nice, but that doesn't come into play to my life, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, what they can do to make my life better, but without taking anything away from it. Like I'm happy with who.
Speaker 1:I am, you know.
Speaker 2:I'm 43, almost 44 years old. I know who I am, I know what I like, I know what I don't like, know who I am, I know what I like, I know what I don't like, and if someone were to want to join me in that and you know they can expand my horizons, they can support me in ways to make my life better Cool.
Speaker 2:You know I'm more than willing to do that. You know it's. You know it's not a 50 50 relationship, it's what can you put in today? Okay, now I'm going to make up what you, you know, lack. Like you, you're having a bad day. You can only do 30.
Speaker 1:I'm going to make up that 70 because tomorrow, I know, if I'm down, they're going to make up that 70 and I want to touch on that, you know 50, 50 relationships, because they're not really 50, 50 right no because let's think about this for a minute if I went into work which I don't work but if I went into work and I told my boss, listen, I'm going to give you 50 today, they'd tell me go home, yeah, they don't need a 50 worker.
Speaker 2:When you're in a relationship, you give 100 but if that 50 is your 100, a hundred percent for that day, if that's all that you can do, you can give, but I mean your goal is to always give a hundred percent right. Because, it.
Speaker 1:It's your job and I would. I'm in a relationship now and, trust me, I've been through plenty, been married more than once, and you know I've learned, lived and learned as a lot of people have. And it isn't about what can I get. It is now, what can I give Right? And you know I want to give the 100%. I don't want to say, well, I'll give you 50% and you meet me halfway.
Speaker 2:Sorry folks, I'll give you 100%, like it's my job, right, because that's what a relationship to me is and I think, I think I do get in a lot of trouble with relationships because I do put in that hundred percent, even if the other person isn't giving it back I think.
Speaker 1:I think a lot of people jump into a relationship too quickly, thinking this is going to work, they're going to give me a hundred percent and it just right. You know, uh, I'm for, let's see how this turns out. Let's wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, and I've always said I don't think you really ever know somebody. I think look at these people who have been together for 20 years. Then all of a sudden you find out he's got two other families somewhere else with three other kids.
Speaker 2:Well, even mean, like, look at, like btk killer, I mean he had a whole family and and what? 40 years, yeah, and he nobody, none of his family, even knew what he was doing. I don't think you really know anybody.
Speaker 1:I don't think you really ever do know somebody 100, but you know, when it comes down to it, don't jump in too fast. And again, I want to get back to you. Know, what do we have to offer as women? Um, like I said, I've I've lived and learned over the years and my last probably five to eight years have been my most learning, most learned experiences. And you know to have somebody tell me I want to find a man that pays my bills, takes care of me. You know weights on me, hand and foot, you know that sort of thing. What are you doing for him now again?
Speaker 1:Because when he says hey, says hey, baby, make me a sandwich and you go. What your legs broke? That's the same man that you know, that you expected to wait on you hand and foot. And I'm gonna say this, and I know this will tick off a few, if not more than a few, but feminism hurt us bad as women. Um, I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan. Never make you forget you're a man. Uh, no, I can't.
Speaker 2:No I'm tired. I don't want to cook that bacon.
Speaker 1:I don't want to fry it, I don't want to do that, I'm tired, okay. And so saying we can do it all was really kind of it was a fallacy for us. And you know when, when we say, well, we go to work, and when I come home, he should split half the the chores with me, he should help. Don't get me wrong, but when that tire is flat, it ain't you out there. When it you know you need the the driveway shoveled, it's typically him. Um, when you need that dirty work done, it's typically him going out and doing it. And so what I'm saying is is there's usually a balance. Now, if there's not that balance, you're in the wrong relationship. Right, right, but you know, other than that, you know I would find it really hard to start dating again.
Speaker 1:I loved being single. I loved it, and you know I said it would take a lot to get me out of being single. I don't have to argue with anybody. Where do you want to eat tonight? I stand in front of the mirror and go. Here's where I'd like to eat tonight.
Speaker 2:You know there's, I have no problem going to a restaurant and eating alone, or going to a movie by myself and watching that movie and eating my own dang popcorn and not sharing.
Speaker 1:And I'm so happy to hear you say that, because I would like to see more women feel so secure in themselves that you don't need somebody else there next to you all the time. Right, I mean, would it be nice?
Speaker 2:yeah, it would be nice but we all that dirty work I can do it myself, you know you talk about. You can change in the tire, I do it. Who shovels, I do it. You know. If there's something that needs done to the house, I do it, you know I talk about. You can changing the tire, I do it. Who shovels, I do it. You know, if there's something that needs done to the house, I do it, you know. I was blessed in the fact that I was raised by a mother and a father who instilled upon us that nobody's coming to save you. That's right. Okay, don't, don't be calling nobody. If you don't learn how to do it yourself, you're screwed right and with the two girls, I will tell people.
Speaker 1:With the two girls we were adamant about, you will know how to change a tire.
Speaker 1:You will know how to check your oil, you will know what that you know idiot light means when it comes on in your dash. Now did we go as far as teaching you how to change out brakes and calipers and all of that? No, you learned that on your own, with your friends. Yeah, you had a lot of friends who were mechanics and things like that, and you did it to learn. Yeah, it was because I want to know what's going on here, and I did the same thing. I just want to know what's going on. My dad was a mechanic. I was curious.
Speaker 2:I did it out of the fact that I was like I'm not asking anybody for help, yeah, Like I'm going to learn how to do this.
Speaker 1:But it's okay to ask people for help. It is. It is it's okay to ask them. So, anyway, I want to get back to our discussions today. You know, when we were talking to one of the guys at the bike rally, you know, what do we have to offer? I think we have to reassess what we have to offer and think about you know, are you in it just to make yourself feel better and just be happy, or are you looking to have a happy relationship with someone, to make that person happy too.
Speaker 1:And you know, I think it was um, who was it? Mamie Eisenhower or somebody like that that said you know, no one can make you angry except for you. You're the only you know. And I was like, oh, that's not true, that's not true at all, you know. How you react is is really entirely up to you, but there's a lot of people out there that can make you angry. But I think that when you get into a relationship or you start dating someone you know, respect them. I think that's super important. Respect their time. Be honest, right, I don't owe anybody an explanation, except for me and Jesus.
Speaker 2:You know, that's it well and let's, and let's say stay most of the times. If you're actually looking for a relationship, stay off these damn dating apps. Yes, they are the worst of the worst. I have never seen so many men my age have the audacity to say what they're saying on these dating apps I'm like. Would you say that to somebody's face? I don't think you would. I want to tell you a story real quick, okay.
Speaker 1:So I was on a dating app and I met this guy and, uh, we met over in one of the towns close by for dinner and he had his picture up on the dating app and he comes walking in and I swear to, he looked like he was the spawn of Howdy Doody and Barney Fife and so it was an old picture. Oh, my goodness, I don't even know. And he kind of did it, did it, did it, did it, you know, comes walking and I thought, please, god, don't let that be him.
Speaker 1:And here he comes, right over to my table and he sits down and we start talking and you know, I wanted to be very kind because you don't always find a boyfriend, but you could find a friend right. And so I'm thinking, you know, maybe he could be a friend. But he was so goofy and he immediately said oh, I went off and forgot my billfold. Thank goodness I brought my checkbook and I thought nobody takes checks anymore at a restaurant, they just don't. And I didn't say anything and I should have just ordered a drink and gotten the heck out of there. But no, not me order salad and something else. And so I'm listening and I'm thinking you know, just be kind, be kind. You know he's not your type, but just be kind. He could be a friend, you don't know. And the more he talked I couldn't stand him and he kept saying three times he said, oh, I can't believe I forgot my billfold. Well that, you know, something in my head should have been going ding, ding, ding, ding. But it didn't.
Speaker 2:And so finally the check comes and the guy goes oh, I'm gonna write a check and the waiter, he goes, we don't take checks.
Speaker 1:And now I'm mad. Okay, now I'm mad, and so instead of saying, hey, I'll pay for mine I don't really care what he does, you know, because he was such a weirdo but um, instead I paid for everything and I said just give me the check and I'll pay it, and just let me get out of here. And I said that out loud. And so I pay the check and I get up and he goes. Oh, we're going, and he's following me out like a little chihuahua I looked at him like what's this?
Speaker 2:I know?
Speaker 1:so he's following me out, and he goes I'm I, you know, if you'll just tell me what your address is, I can swing by and drop that money off, or you know, or if you can just. And I, I said, no, that's all right, let it go. And he goes well, I'm happy, I'll bring it by tomorrow. Just tell me what your address is. And I go no, no, no, no, no, that's not going to happen.
Speaker 2:And then he said well, I know it didn't work out with you, but do you have any other girlfriends?
Speaker 1:that I might be able to go out with. Like I would do that to my girlfriends and that's what I said. I stopped in mid-track and I turned around and I said I don't have any girlfriends who want to buy some weirdo dinner.
Speaker 2:Okay, I just really don't On that note real quick who buys dinner First date someone invites you out, Do you expect them to pay for your dinner because they invited you? I think the first time, yeah, I think it's whoever invited who. That's what I think. So if I see a guy and I'm like, hey, you want to go get dinner sometime, I'm paying. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm okay with that. I'm okay. But once you get past that initial hey, I'll buy you dinner or hey, do you want to go out? I'd like to buy you dinner, then you automatically know who's buying After that, I don't mind going back and forth and Dr Domain, you got to speak up here. We do go back and forth, is that correct? He's shaking his head. Yes, that's what you do on radio and without any video, on just audio.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:And we're okay with that. I'm okay with that Going back and forth, because who cares?
Speaker 2:Because like me and my best friend, who's a guy, we have usually monthly dinner dates and our rule is we go back and forth. So whoever paid last time, the other person pays this time. But the rule is the person paying does not get to pick where we eat, the other person gets to. Oh, that's fun, and then we switch. So, if he really screws me over on the check, I'm like, oh, we're going somewhere fancy next time, because you're paying and I'm picking yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I get it. We could get into a lot of different things here, uh, but I think we're kind of running out of time though, so, uh, I'll just have to say that I think that's all that we could bleed out of that topic today. There's probably more that we could talk about, but we appreciate you joining us here at the rabbit hole studio. Be sure to follow us. We look forward to spending more time with you each week. Please like us, and if you have some positive feedback for us, or if you have a topic that you would like to talk about, drop us a short email at boomer and Gen Xer at gmailcom. We also have a Facebook page.
Speaker 1:Thank you very much, bobby, for setting that up. Yeah, so go out there and look for us. It is under. Boomer and Gen Xer Walk Into a Bar. So until next time, I'm Jane Burt and I'm Bobby Joy, and you're stuck with us Peace out Later.