A Boomer and GenXer Walk into a Bar
Wit and wisdom, some smart assery, and a Mother and Daughter questioning “Are we even related?”
A Boomer and GenXer Walk into a Bar
The Gift vs. The Grind: Understanding Talent and Skill S:1E:51
What sets apart those who seem naturally gifted from those who've worked tirelessly to master a craft? In this lively and personal exploration of talent versus skill, we unpack the fundamental differences between what we're born with and what we develop through practice.
The conversation begins with a humorous look at how we define these terms – talent as the natural, effortless abilities we possess from birth, and skill as what we acquire through dedicated learning and practice. What unfolds is a fascinating journey through our own experiences with both, from artistic abilities and musical gifts to leadership qualities and mechanical aptitudes.
The most valuable insight emerges as we explore the intersection where talent meets skill – that sweet spot where natural aptitude is enhanced through dedicated practice, creating true mastery. Whether you're curious about your own untapped potential or simply enjoy candid mother-daughter banter about life's gifts and challenges, this episode offers both laughter and wisdom about embracing what makes each of us exceptional.
What talents might you be overlooking in yourself? And which skills are you most proud of developing? Join the conversation by sharing your thoughts with us – we'd love to hear what makes you uniquely gifted.
email: boomerandgenxer@gmail.com
Welcome everyone to today's show. A boomer and a Gen Xer walk into a bar, coming to you from the rabbit hole studio, and if Dr Domain didn't hit the record button this time, I might actually be down the rabbit hole at this point You're gonna experience some wisdom, some smart-assery and a mother and daughter questioning. Are we even related? My name is Bobbi Joy and my co-host is my mom, jane, and our quote-unquote technical advisor is Dr Domain over here, who finally figured out the buttons.
Speaker 3:So welcome. Oh my gosh, that was so funny oh that was a wonderful practice run, wasn't it? It was, and it sounded so good too. I wonderful practice right, wasn't it? It was, and it was sounded so good too.
Speaker 1:I wish we could have used it. You know, what's really sad is we both know this has happened before, so we should have been looking for the light, and yet here we put our trust in dr domain, in his skills and talent, and which, here we are exactly what we're talking about today skills and talent.
Speaker 3:Do you have any? What are they? So this is going to be a short show, Bob.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it'll be in and out, in and out, we're done.
Speaker 3:Thanks for listening. Yeah, so skills and talent, because what's the difference, first of all, between skills and talent?
Speaker 1:I think that a skill is something that can be acquired like worked on, and a talent is something that can be acquired like worked on, and a talent is something that you're more natural at.
Speaker 3:Really.
Speaker 1:Like I can naturally just piss people off, but it takes skill to do it for years.
Speaker 3:Really, you think that's the difference. So I did look it up. Talent is a natural, innate aptitude to do something. Look it up. Talent is a natural, innate aptitude to do something, while skill is the ability to perform a task well and is acquired through knowledge, practice and effort.
Speaker 1:I literally pulled that out of my ass. I had no idea.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh my gosh, that's so funny because I thought, well, maybe you looked at it before, but you didn't, so I have a talent for bullshitting and actually being right but it's kind of a skill for you too?
Speaker 1:it kind of is.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I've worked on it yeah, yeah, so great you were making fun of me. I'm gonna go off topic here for just a minute. Derail, um and uh, big surprise, you were making fun of me earlier because I had just looked at I have a world map next to me thank god, studio and the reason I do is because, you know, I forget where shit's at, forget where she is, and I'm thinking this world map is going to help me and the world map is from like the 1800s she was born.
Speaker 3:This is is relatively new, really.
Speaker 2:What's that body of water south of Texas. Southeast of Texas.
Speaker 3:That is the Gulf of America.
Speaker 1:That's the Gulf of Mexico. Don't start with me.
Speaker 3:Don't you start with?
Speaker 1:me Don't go there.
Speaker 3:This is an ancient map. It's not ancient, it's a couple of years old. Anyway, I said to him just moments ago where's america? So we have a talent for irritating mom. Oh my gosh, yeah, so I said we're, what country is libyan?
Speaker 1:and he and I walked in on this. I was out of the studio and looked at me like are you on crack like seriously I know what I said, was you have master's degrees and you're asking what country is libya?
Speaker 3:and so I. But I immediately corrected myself because I said oh wait, a minute. Libya is the country, this is the continent what continents it on africa.
Speaker 1:I'm surprised it's written on there isn't it is.
Speaker 3:Why do you think I have the map? Do you think it's just color-coded and that's it?
Speaker 1:fair. In your lifetime there have been a lot of changes to countries, like countries don't exist that used to exist when you were, you know in school like the ussr yeah, things like that. I mean it has changed, but to know the difference between a country and a continent I think is very pertinent to a geography lesson for a third grader yeah, yeah, so I got let alone someone who has master's degrees I corrected myself, even though you gave me the stink eye the moment I said it.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:That's because I just walked into it, like just unknowingly walked into it, and I'm like what the hell is wrong with you? Oh gosh, to be fair, I was looking for my reading glasses and they were on top of my head, so I can't exactly say a lot about that.
Speaker 3:Okay, let's get back to our topic. So we were talking about skills versus talent, right, and so talent is kind of innate. You were born with talent. It's a natural gift or an aptitude? I don't know that I was ever born with any talent.
Speaker 1:Were you.
Speaker 3:I think I was. What's your talent, besides pissing people off or pissing me off?
Speaker 1:What is your talent? Finding the most creative ways to injure myself.
Speaker 3:No, sister, you ain't even close. I'm the poster child of that.
Speaker 1:Let's see here I mean I do. I did have some I might. Still I haven't used in a long time some natural talent when it comes to music, musical instruments and art.
Speaker 3:Art, I will say that is true. Musical instruments, gong show.
Speaker 1:you're off, you just didn't come to my practices and stuff.
Speaker 1:You practiced once as soon as I picked up you know, like the trumpet and percussion you know I played um for the marching band. I was on the, the quads and things like that it was it was pretty natural for me to pick it up and even though I I still can't really read music, I was able to pick up the songs and things like that and play with the band so I do agree with you on the art thing because we've talked about that before where you won an art, yeah talent show yep, and so I I totally agree with that, and your daughter is also very artistically talented.
Speaker 3:Yes, I will say that she definitely has a talent, because she's never gone to school for it and she puts out some pretty cool stuff yeah, and it's mixed media stuff.
Speaker 1:It's not just drawings or paintings or things like that. It's. It's working with different um materials and different um medians on what she's doing. I mean everything from you know. I taught her um a lot about effects, makeup for Halloween and things like that.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I mean she can, you know, spend five minutes kind of looking at something and really just pick it up.
Speaker 3:So, dr Domain, what do you think that your talent is? Now? That would be something that you think you were born with. It's effortless, it comes naturally and requires little thought or effort to accomplish. It has aptitude. So talent is really the rate at which you can acquire an ability or a predisposition I can't even talk which is not sounding out words.
Speaker 1:That's kind of my talent for certain activities.
Speaker 3:What do you think your talent is?
Speaker 2:Good looks and common sense. I was going to say charm, charm. No, I think just.
Speaker 3:We both love that, sorry about that I'm done. No, no, no, no, you can't quit, not mid-show.
Speaker 2:Like complex things kind of come easier to me, I think.
Speaker 3:I would say that's probably true when.
Speaker 2:I look at something, or especially if it's got a mechanical aspect to it, it just kind of comes naturally, I think.
Speaker 1:So mechanically inclined Makes more sense to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that seems straightforward.
Speaker 3:One thing that I I'm curious enough.
Speaker 2:Maybe curiosity is one of those things.
Speaker 3:Yeah and I've said this about you before that I haven't seen anything that you can't either build or fix, and I'll be honest with you.
Speaker 1:You know YouTube has helped a lot of that, yeah, but even with YouTube, you have to have an understanding, you have to have an understanding and he, you know he can understand that stuff pretty easily.
Speaker 3:I will say easily, you seem to come by it pretty easily. I will say easily, you seem to come by it quite easily. I don't think I have any talent whatsoever. I'm pretty certain of it.
Speaker 2:So this is your mom's cue to prompt her.
Speaker 3:No, ask her what her talent is.
Speaker 1:I have none, you have a talent.
Speaker 3:What, what is it? What is it? What is it? I have no. What do you mean? You have no talent, I have no talent. There is none. Bl, I have no. What do you mean?
Speaker 2:you have no talent, I have no talent, there is none. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah Like three stooges. Talentless Holy smokes. What a disappointment.
Speaker 3:I don't. I don't have any talent, I have none. What would it be? I have none.
Speaker 1:The only I would say, if I had anything, it's probably the ability to persuade people. I have a persuasive way of making people do things.
Speaker 3:I was yeah, I was gonna say more of a, more of a talent for um convincing people to do talking yeah, and that may be true, because I did do a lot of, I mean, over the course of my career. I did a lot of presentations, I did a lot of um, but I think a lot of um but I think it comes naturally to you though too.
Speaker 1:I mean, I know like when you were younger and stuff you did, you had, you know, a little nervousness, things like that, and there were some hiccups along the way. But I think that you did have a natural talent to not only talk to people but to command a room. Like you can walk into a room and you can command it pretty easily.
Speaker 3:Other people have said that yeah. Other people have said you have a presence when you walk in. Yeah, absolutely, and it's like I don't even know what that means, but I do know that I can convince people to do a lot of things. And then I don't know if that's persuasion domain but I, just over you know the, but I, just over you know the, my lifetime I have been able to talk people into doing things, and not bad things, but just kind of logically or emotionally. I kind of touch on the emotion of people.
Speaker 1:Well, and even when there's chaos, you, you do have that commanding presence of I wouldn't say really like taking control or taking over, but you have that presence of listen, calm down, let's think about this, let's talk it out and and to be able to guide people towards what needs to be done.
Speaker 3:Unless I've lost my phone or my billfold. Well, that's different.
Speaker 1:I mean or your, your password, or your computer or anything like that. Yeah, yeah, that's a totally totally different thing.
Speaker 3:So talent, of course, we've kind of identified that. So what about skills? So skills, as you mentioned Bobby, is a learned thing, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Skills are acquired through knowledge, training and practice. That's something that you develop, uh, over time, through dedication and effort, over time, through dedication and effort, and also a skill is demonstratable. It's something that you can demonstrate A talent. You can kind of do that too. But a skill is the ability to do something very well and it can be recognized and validated when it is demonstrated and shared. So I think that's kind of the big difference. So when we talk about skills, what do you think your skills are?
Speaker 1:I honestly I think I have a lot of them that I've acquired just through either something that I wanted to do or something that I had to do okay so one would be this was really early on um, I think it's a talent and a skill, because I think that I did have a natural talent for it, but I also honed my skills on it, and that was um shooting oh, okay so I mean we went national, you with our rifle team and I went to the Iowa Games and everything else for it.
Speaker 1:I say it's both because when we did go to the Iowa Games we actually had a dropout for the pistol competition and at that point I had never shot a pistol for competition and they asked if I wanted to shoot and kind of just threw one in my hand and said, hey, you're up, and I got the silver medal. So it wasn't something that I had planned on, but I think that even from day one I had had kind of a natural shooting talent. But I I did spend what? Three years honing my skills okay.
Speaker 3:So yeah, all right. Is there another one besides shooting that you can think of off the top of your?
Speaker 1:head bartending okay. Come on, that's a skill. I mean, really, if I'm not talking like opening beers, I'm talking, you know, mixology bartending okay yeah, absolutely okay.
Speaker 3:well, I think you're slow, she's a mixologist.
Speaker 1:I'm a mixologist I think you're slow, what?
Speaker 3:Yeah, either that, or every time I've come in where you were working. I was talking to you Shut it. No, that's not correct.
Speaker 1:I knew I was going to get a good tip anyway. So what's it?
Speaker 3:Yeah, no kidding, no, kidding You're. It's like she takes all day and I know it's because she wants me to stay there and just observe her and be with her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm lonely behind the bar. Get the creeps away, you know what.
Speaker 3:About you, dr Domain? What do you think your skill, one of your skills, is?
Speaker 2:I thought I just mentioned it. No, that's a talent. Oh, that's a talent, yeah.
Speaker 3:Okay, so remember, a skill is something that's learned, it's developed and demonstratable, and so over time you would develop that skill yeah.
Speaker 1:I think it goes. I think that what he talked about would go for skills too, because being mechanically inclined I mean, you do have to learn new parts and hone in on certain things.
Speaker 3:Do you think that's true, Dr Domey?
Speaker 2:Sure, let's go with that.
Speaker 3:Okay, well, you think about it for a minute, because I'm sure you have other skills, and I will say not only mechanical skills that you've learned and you've honed.
Speaker 1:Cooking.
Speaker 3:Cooking skills.
Speaker 1:Dealing with mom.
Speaker 3:Dealing with me. That's a skill set that is a skill set, because he's very calm.
Speaker 1:Oh, I've seen it, I've seen it, I've seen it.
Speaker 3:You know I'd like him to get excited and he don't Like, why don't you get mad at me? Yeah, I think I think a lot of that skills. I think if I had to think about a skill that, I have.
Speaker 1:I think I'm a good leader. I do. I think that comes naturally with your talent, though, too, like with your presence, your commanding of a room and able to and I get this from you too is the ability to speak on someone's level. So you know, you walk into a room full of business people, you're going to have a different level of speech and recognition for those people than you do if you walk into a neighborhood barbecue and command you know the presence of those people.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's adjusting to your audience and I think that's really important and I think you know, being a good leader to me is not being a good manager in a business. Anybody can manage people but not everybody can lead them. And you know I always told my guys uh, when I was working, you know, if you're in the fire, I'm in the fire with you.
Speaker 1:Right and I will. And a lot of managers aren't like that.
Speaker 3:They say, if you're in the fire, I'm going to tell you what to do from up here, Right, and I was in the fire with them. And the other thing is, is I went to bat for my people, Right? I? I mean, if I really and truly, you know, felt that I needed to, I would jeopardize whatever it took just to and not to be nasty, not to, you know cause I, you have to take your marching orders too, right?
Speaker 3:No matter what, you take your marching orders and nobody's paying my bills with me, and so they don't really care whether or not I get paid or whether I get fired. They do not, but I think a good leader has the ability to influence people. They have the ability to help people see the different perspectives. I think they also have the ability to not make people walk out of their office or walk away with their tail tucked between their legs just because they made a mistake. You know, a mistake does not a bad person make.
Speaker 1:Yeah, leaders have more of teaching moments rather than reprimand moments. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:And I think that's true and I think that you know. I also told my folks that you know, as I'm developing you or helping you, I want you to be the leader. I want you to be.
Speaker 3:Because, one day you may be my boss, right? And if you're going to be my boss, here's the things I want you to do as my boss, and so it was really important for me to to make sure that that I was a good leader. So, as we talked about, uh, talent is kind of innate and inborn skill is acquired through practice. Do you play an instrument now, bobby? I don't now. No, no, no. Dr domain, do you?
Speaker 2:now no, I don't.
Speaker 3:I always wanted to play the piano, yeah, but they said, if you, I? I had heard one time that if you were really good at math, you could be good at instruments yeah, music, you're playing instruments yesterday.
Speaker 2:What instrument?
Speaker 3:air guitar oh you know, but that band split up, so my air guitar has been in the shop for a little while and and so, yeah, I was playing the air guitar.
Speaker 1:Yes, I can play a few songs on the piano, um nothing where I can do like, like chopsticks well, no like um like first noel, no like my chemical romance. Uh, welcome to the black parade, things like that, um. But you know my son, I bought him his very first guitar last year and he know he's never had a lesson, he's never, you know, gone to a teacher or anything like that. He basically looked up on youtube and things like that on how to play.
Speaker 1:This kid is good yeah I mean he is freaking amazing I know for having zero lessons or anything like that. I mean he just picked it up and just ran with it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so he kind of blew my mind on that when he got the guitar, and then my other grandson he is also talented in that way.
Speaker 3:And I think I told this story before. I think I don't even remember how old he was he must have been about 12 years old and he wanted a violin. Yeah, and I bought it for him for Christmas and he wanted it early, so I gave it to him two weeks early and he came to Christmas and the whole family was there and I said hey, buddy, have you learned anything on your guitar? He goes. Yeah, I brought it with me your violin, yeah, guitar, yeah your violin, he goes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I brought it with me and I said do you want to? I said do you know a full song? He goes.
Speaker 1:I know 22 of them yeah and he had, he had taught himself and my oldest picked it up after him.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and sat there for I don't know how long. We were all looking at each other like 22 and two weeks and the kid never had a lesson he'd never you know, and so in that respect, and he plays the guitar also yeah, they're both super talented as it relates to that.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, yeah, nice, yeah, I, I, I know one skill that all three of us have sitting here that we've acquired is motorcycle riding. That is true, I mean, that's a skill that not a lot of people have. I mean, a lot of people drive, a lot of people ride bikes, a lot of people can do things like that, but motorcycles a whole nother beast. And all three of us, for most of our lives, have ridden motorcycles yeah, Because I shoot.
Speaker 3:I've been riding since I was 12. So yeah. And the first time I got on my stepmom's motorcycle I think I was 11 or 12 riding around the cemetery yeah, that's cool, yeah, so, um, also, as it relates to talent, you know, let's look at effort. Typically, with talent you have, little effort is required because you are automatically talented with skill.
Speaker 3:Um, that's kind of requires dedication and practice to develop and then development itself. A talent is kind of requires dedication and practice to develop and then development itself. A talent is kind of a gift that exists without any effort.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so like the talent thing, talent versus skill thing would be like like me with my art. I had a lot of natural talent but I did hone those skills, like in stained glass art and clay pottery, things like that, where I did expand what I had already known or had already been doing into new areas. And it did, it took. It took a lot of practice, a lot, especially with the stained glass, Cause man, that stuff's hard.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and your dad kind of helped teach you.
Speaker 1:He was the whole reason. I even picked up stained glass. He did some really up stained glass yeah he did some really nice stained glass.
Speaker 3:Oh, he's amazing at it, yeah and and that's the stained glass was actually what won the art competition that year so, you know, as as we think about talent and skill, again, I go back to a lot of youtubes that we see, or a lot of reels that we see, and we've talked about this before a lot, lot of people who can sing and dance.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:When you get old, you got two moves when you're dancing Okay, it's side to side, and then kind of a little bounce and that's it. That's all you got, cause I've never seen anybody my age or around my age do anything different Doing the Carlton yeah, it's side to side and a little bounce.
Speaker 3:That's all we got going on. And so when you see these reels of these people who are doing these dances and stuff, I have gotten up and thought I can do that. I used to be able to do the Charleston and all that business.
Speaker 1:We used to swing, dance you used to make me swing dance in the living room with you and all that business.
Speaker 3:We used to swing dance. You used to make me swing dance in the living room with you and I used to. I used to do two-stepping and double two-stepping and you know line dancing and everything else yeah now it's like okay, did I put my shoes on upside down and both you know wrong feet. I'm not really sure what happened here. We just forgot. Yeah, we kind of forgot yeah so but I do watch some of those, and just the talent of these people is so remarkable A lot of people who have never had a singing lesson, who have never, ever been taught music.
Speaker 1:But taught themselves and it's raw, it's pure talent, because they don't have the voice correctors, they don't have the expensive microphones or the setups, they don't have the soundproof rooms that a lot of artists have. They're in their bedroom on their iPhone with a tiny little microphone singing and it sounds that amazing, without any interruption from any kind of electronics.
Speaker 3:It's just, it's pure, pure something as simple as some of these influencers or these folks on youtube who are just showing you how to put on makeup okay, I need that though and I think I and I've worn makeup my whole life, right? Yeah, I can't put it on like they put it on right I can sit there and watch this and it's like why am I not able?
Speaker 1:to do that. Well, I've said, you know one of my favorite podcasters who also has a youtube channel, bailey sarian. Yeah, she does the murder mysteries and makeup and she goes through a murder podcast while doing her makeup and I just sit there and look at her and go god, I wish I had that, I wish I could do that and I've tried. I have. I have zero talent with makeup, unless it's looking like my face got ripped off.
Speaker 3:To do those two things. I have a hard time talking and swallowing. I have to stop. I have to stop to swallow.
Speaker 1:And then sometimes I choke and she just, I mean, she makes it look so effortless and it's just, her makeup is just so amazing. And a lot of these women's are, and even guys, guys who have these YouTube channels where they actually show how to put on, you know, foundation or eyeliner, things like that, and I'm just like I'm lucky if I don't poke my eyeball out if I wear eyeliner like there's actual danger.
Speaker 3:You poke yourself with a mascara brush and you're done for the day. It's over.
Speaker 1:I have one eye who has mascara, one that doesn't. I'm going out of the house. I don't care. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Just watching some of this, I get blown away. And it isn't just the singing or playing an instrument, some of it's poetry, yeah, and I. Oh, there's a skill.
Speaker 1:I have yeah.
Speaker 2:Poetry.
Speaker 3:I forgot. So my brother writes poetry too, yep, and for years and years and years he's written poetry and he used to uh recite this poetry at christmas.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he used to do the christmas. They were pretty funny, oh, I, they were pretty funny. Yeah, I miss those, and he did a good job.
Speaker 3:Well, all that time I've been writing poetry, right. Well, I built up a bank, but unfortunately that uh bank of poetry was left at my job and of course they delete everything out of those files. So I lost all that poetry.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:So I started rewriting and now I'm not happy with how I'm writing. But yeah, I do write poetry.
Speaker 1:I think that's because poetry is more of a. You use the in the moment or the emotion at the time and you can't relive that. You can go back and revisit it yeah, but you can't ever have that emotion that you have at the time.
Speaker 3:Maybe sometime I will read one of my poems online On online On the air, on the air, on the air as long as you don't sing, I'm good with it, bobby. You know, I love you Bobby.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm out.
Speaker 3:Okay, well, that's all I've got for today anyway. So you know, I just wanted to thank everybody for being here with us today. That is it, and we appreciate you joining us at the Rabbit Hole Studio. Be sure to follow us. We look forward to spending time with you each week and even if I have to sing it, I'm gonna do okay. Anyway, please like us. That's not one of my skills, absolutely not, no, no, not at all man that's hurtful.
Speaker 3:So please like us, and if you have positive feedback for us, you know what to do. Send that off to us. If you have a topic you want us to talk about, let us know, and we'd sure like to know what your talent or skill is, whether it's baking, cooking, gardening, whatever that is. Oh man, I've seen some really cool gardens and gardening. Uh, there's a lot of work involved in that, but anyway, drop us a short email at boomer and jan extra at gmailcom. If you have hate mail, where should they bury that bobby?
Speaker 3:up the butt okay, uh, so I'm jane burke and I'm bobby joy and you're stuck with us peace out later.