A Boomer and GenXer Walk into a Bar
Wit and wisdom, some smart assery, and a Mother and Daughter questioning “Are we even related?”
A Boomer and GenXer Walk into a Bar
Spanx, Squirrels, And The Case Of The Missing Jawline S:02E:08
Ever look at a profile pic and think, I wouldn’t recognize this person in real life? We go there with a fast, funny, and honest look at filters, makeup illusions, beard baiting, and why so many of us are performing beauty instead of presenting ourselves.
We talk about catfishing 2.0—where the photo is “you,” but the edits, contouring, or facial hair change the story. Jane and Bobbi unpack the awkward shock of first dates that don’t match the grid, the avalanche of unsolicited messages that blow past boundaries, and the double standards that ask for total honesty while hiding eyebrows, jawlines, and more. Expect laughs, including a Spanx saga you won’t forget, plus practical advice for profiles that won’t backfire when the lighting changes.
Then we widen the lens: Instagram face, AI edits, and beautification tech that train our brains to prefer an edited self. We explore filter dysphoria, media pressure on teens, and the narrow standards pushed by fashion and advertising. Where do tattoos, piercings, and plastic surgery fit? We draw a thoughtful line between reversible style and permanent changes done to chase trends, with compassion for anyone navigating scars, aging, or confidence dips.
If you love makeup, cool. If you love your beard, great. The point isn’t to stop expressing yourself; it’s to make sure your photos and presence won’t surprise someone across the table. Share at least one unfiltered shot, lead with your real voice, and remember that confidence is the best filter. Hit play for sharp takes, genuine warmth, and a reminder to love your ugly—because that’s where the real beauty starts.
If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a reality check on filters, and leave a quick review to tell us what part hit home.
email: boomerandgenxer@gmail.com
Welcome everyone to today's show. A Boomer and a Gen X are walking to a bar, coming to you from the Rabbit Hole Studio, where you, as our listeners, will experience some wit and wisdom, some smart assery, and a mother and a daughter questioning. Are we even related? You'd think we'd know by now, but we're still questioning that.
SPEAKER_01:The DNA test is still out.
SPEAKER_02:That's right. My name is Jane Burt. My co-host is my daughter Bobby. And for the next several minutes, hey, we're here to talk and entertain. And Bobby, I see you've got your uh emotional support chicken. What's his name today? Uh today his name is Brady. Brady. Brady. Now, where did we see? He has a little bow tie. Is that his? Now we are we we are in the process of recording around Halloween. Actually, it is Halloween. And so this uh show won't drop until later on. But just so you know, what he's got his Halloween costume on.
SPEAKER_01:He does. He's got his little bow tie. He he's gonna be one of the uh doctors from Doctor Who. That's who he is. That's why he has the bow tie. Gotcha. Yeah, okay. After my favorite doctor, the 11th doctor. The 11th doctor. I don't really even know what that means. Um well, the actor's Matt Smith, and he played the 11th doctor on Doctor Who, so have you seen that, Doctor Domain?
SPEAKER_02:You've seen Doctor Who?
SPEAKER_00:No, I was sleeping. Sorry, what?
SPEAKER_02:Oh never mind. We know what you do behind the keyboard there. Keyboard, not keyboard.
SPEAKER_01:So, yeah, so it'll be a little, well, a little bit after uh Halloween when this one comes out. So you can be after Thanksgiving, probably. You guys are actually uh headed south for the winter.
SPEAKER_02:We will be, yeah. So uh we're gonna we're gonna take a little vacation uh middle in November.
SPEAKER_01:A little a little vacation. No, this is true from December till April. No, that's no, it's fine.
SPEAKER_02:No, we're gonna we're gonna go down to Branson for uh about four days, Branson, Missouri, and we're gonna hang out down there. And we've been to Branson multiple times. And then we're gonna head on down to Memphis. Uh, and we've been to Memphis multiple times, but we've got the motorhome, and so we're gonna do that. And then uh we're gonna unhook the car. Well, it'll be unhooked anyway, but uh unhook the car, and me and the dogs will head back to Iowa so that I can be with my children and grandchildren over the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Yeah. And Dr. Domain will head on down with the motor home to Georgia, and he'll spend time with his boys down there for the holidays. So it'll all work out. But after that, you will be heading back down to get away from the winter cold. After that, yep, we'll be heading back down and uh yeah, we'll be uh then we'll be operating from the rabbit run studio, won't we? Yep, we sure will. So get ready for uh a little technical uh hubbub going on when that happens, yeah. So um today we've kind of uh looked into a topic today, and we're both I don't know if we both are, but I will tell you when this stuff pops up on my screens in my social networking, I'm like, what are you guys doing? Why are you doing this?
SPEAKER_01:So, what are we talking about today, Bob? So I know a lot of people have seen you know the memes making fun of it saying, Hey, you know, can you post some pictures without a filter and makeup? Because if you go missing, we don't know who we're looking for. We can't even put your picture on it. Well, we're milking it. Yeah, we can't. We can't put it on the news because you know, you look like uh, I don't know, Cindy Lauper in real in the pictures, and you look like Beetlejuice in real life. I mean, how are we supposed to find that? How are we supposed to know which one we're looking for?
SPEAKER_02:I know. So we were talking about some of the things that people do, and you know, when I see them come up on social network, this is absolutely true. We had somebody that is a mutual friend of ours come up, and I was like, Who is that? Is that her sister? Is that is that her older motherfucker? Is that her cousin or something? Because wow, first of all, she's lost about 110 pounds, and then secondly, is that her how she wears her and her hair and her skin don't look like that? I've seen her up close, yeah, and it's just it's funny.
SPEAKER_01:It's it's catfishing, it's catfishing on a whole new level where you're using your own basic body and face, yeah, but you're altering it to the point where how would we recognize you? And you know, um, they actually have a term for it for the makeup, you know, when people use the makeup to reshape their face, reshape their nose, things like that. It's called catfishing makeup. No way, yeah, it's a term used on TikTok. Uh, it describes a makeup style that involves bronzing the temples and cheekbones, using brown eye shadow for a reverse cat eye, and some other steps where it actually changes the shape of your face.
SPEAKER_02:So I've seen like those reality shows like the desperate housewives that aren't really desperate and they think they're oppressed and they're not, and they think that they could their life is so lovely.
SPEAKER_01:I only got one new BMW this year. Oh my gosh, you're gonna make me walk from here to the door.
SPEAKER_02:Anyway, anyways, so if you see them on those reality shows with no makeup on, you're kind of going, oh shoot.
SPEAKER_01:What happened there? And I've done that in real life where you know I've had people on Facebook or you know, TikTok and I've seen them, and then I see them in real life, and I'm like, oh, wait, oh, sorry. Uh hi. Yeah, like who are you? Yeah, are you so-and-so?
SPEAKER_02:Because I don't remember.
SPEAKER_01:Now, don't get me wrong. I do use filters, I use like the cute ear filters, things like that. Um, but when it's like a dragon or when it comes to makeup, I mean, I am woefully um ignorant on how to actually apply regular makeup. Now, Halloween makeup, I can go for days. Yeah, uh you do a great job with Halloween makeup. I do, and I'm gonna I'm gonna put myself up. I do great special effects makeup. You do, but regular makeup, I'm lost. I am a lost kid in downtown New York City with nowhere to go. I have no idea what I'm doing.
SPEAKER_02:Well, I've been wearing makeup a long time, obviously, and so putting on makeup is no big deal to me. But with that said, I don't use filters ever. Right. I remember your sister. When I take pictures, you're like, retake that picture without the filter. If you take one with me in it with a filter, well, and you know, and I'm not bragging on myself, but I will say I think I look pretty good, but your sister pretty good. Yeah, your sister took a picture one time, and I and she I said, Is that a filter? Take that filter off. And she goes, It's not a filter, mom, that's just you. And I go, No, no, it isn't. Take the filter off. And so I I feel pretty good right now. I mean, I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_01:Well, we just had this discussion upstairs and I got some skin stuff. How old do I look to you? Because I found more wrinkles and like you look like 55. Yeah, and I mean definitely you're definitely way older than that. But uh oh, you have like I'm 110 for crying out. You'll get your walker, grandma. Oh and you know, and here's the thing though, you know, Dr. Domain's sitting here, and uh he actually has the male version of the makeup catfishing, which is beard baiting. Oh, what is that? So that is when guys have beards. Um, it's also called beard fishing, and it's using a beard to deceive others online or in person, uh, similar to the traditional catfishing. It helps hide physical features like a lack of a jawline, pimply skin, or even distract from a bald head. Oh, so when somebody meets them, they've got this glorious beard, they look like this big gruff guy, like online, or even in person, you know. You see the beard, and then one day you see them with it shaved, and it's like what happened there? Yeah, what happened? What happened? What happened you? What happened you? Um so it's not it's not just women, it's men too that that participate in that.
SPEAKER_00:So I how do I fit in that because you have facial hair goatee, first of all, it's not a beard, okay?
SPEAKER_01:No, but it's facial hair, but it distracts, it it changes the shape of your jawline, it hides the fact it well, I'm not saying you don't, but it would hide the fact if you don't have an upper lip, if your chin goes into your chest directly. I mean, you can't tell that when there's facial hair that's true, that is true, and it distracts from baldness. So I need to shave and no, you're absolutely not.
SPEAKER_02:No, no, but you did shape one time, you shaved everything off one time. And I was gonna ask that. I was gonna ask that you asked me about it. Or if he did, I'll just shave for the next show. He was gonna shave for the next show. No, you're not, no, you're not. So anyway, he shaved everything off. And he came in and I just looked at him and I didn't say anything. And uh I just kind of looked at him and I just said, Don't do that again, don't ever do that again. No, and it wasn't that you looked badly, you looked like you were 15 years younger than me, and I can't take that, okay? I just can't take it.
SPEAKER_01:And I've seen guys, you know, that look really, really good with these beards, and then they shave them off. They have no chin, they have no jawline, right? They look like they're 15 years old, and it's just like they're covering stuff up, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Like, just be yourself, man. Just be yourself. But Dr. Domain, we've said before, shaves his head, he's bald, which I find very attractive, Dr. Domain. I love the fact that he's got a mustache and a goatee. I think it's cool. I I think it's cool guys. Now, when it gets a lot longer than that, I'm not gonna try now.
SPEAKER_01:When you guys first started, um I know I know that it goes way back, but I'm saying when you this time when you when you both first started talking like dating-wise, yeah, did he have the facial hair like where you hadn't seen what his face actually looks like? He had like almost like a five or six o'clock shadow all the time. Now, how long before he how long before he you actually saw what his face looked like now? Probably a year before he shooted it. And I went, don't do that again. And now now, how long before you saw her without all her makeup?
SPEAKER_02:Oh, immediately.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, 20 minutes, maybe. Yeah, was it?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, okay. I'm not sure. And a lot of people aren't like that.
SPEAKER_00:You know, dating nowadays she looks good without makeup. She I don't know why she even wears makeup.
SPEAKER_01:Oh I guess he's blind. Can we just not be able to do that? Blind is one eye. Anyways, um, but a lot of people, especially in the dating scene now, you know, you see you see each other once, maybe twice a week. You glam yourself up for them. You got all the makeup on, you got the contours, you know, the guy does, you know, the beard shaped just right, and you look good for each other. You don't know what each other actually looks like until you're so far into it that I it's kind of rude to back out at that point.
SPEAKER_03:You're so far into it.
SPEAKER_01:It's like, uh, I gotta show you something here, and I don't like it. I know women that will not take off their makeup around when they're dating your clothes off in the light with a man, even when they're married. I mean, it's like what are we what? Why are we trying to trick people? Like, I get the insecurities, I get things like that, but you gotta own your ugliness. Like, if you have something that you think is ugly, own it, stret it, be like, you know, started with Eve.
SPEAKER_00:She's the one that screwed it up.
SPEAKER_01:How so?
SPEAKER_02:How did Eve?
SPEAKER_00:They were ashamed of their body, they had to they had to wear like they had to wear the fig leaf things, yeah. Before that, it was they let her hang out. Yeah. You know, that's probably true. So it's all your fault.
SPEAKER_01:Well, okay, I got something to say about that story. You know, they say that Eve ate the apple. Well, then why do lion men have an Adam's apple in their throat? Well, because they swallowed the lion.
SPEAKER_02:Well, exactly. So, um, so I gotta tell you this. So when I was single before I met Dr. Domain, actually before I was married to my last husband, um, I did online dating a little bit.
SPEAKER_01:I just took a drink and I almost spit it out.
SPEAKER_02:It's funny because women will post pictures of themselves, and and you kind of go, I know her, and she don't look like that, but that's not my problem. And then men will post what they possess. Here's a picture of the fish I've got. Here's my car, here's the picture's a fish, here's my motorcycle, here's the deer I got, here's the deer. Yeah, they don't even post themselves. And if they do, it's like half the face, or it's looking up into their hairy nose, and it's like that's the best picture. Or looking down, where they're looking down at their lap and poking the picture in it's and you just want to help them, right? You just it's like, first of all, I don't need to see your possessions because I don't need your possessions, okay? We're not doing any of that. But secondly, that's the best picture you got. No one could help you with this. And you went online.
SPEAKER_01:And I've seen I've seen women strike back on the online dating where you know you see so many guys holding like the fish that they caught up, so women will hold up things that they have like a fish. So they'll be like, here's the rutabag I found at the grocery store. And they'll post it on their online dating site. Here, here's a package of carrots I plan on using later. Online dating is wild, and it's one reason that I I do not cross that threshold. I I I won't. I've had friends who well, co-workers that I work with that have threatened.
SPEAKER_00:What threshold? You won't even go on? No. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02:That's not true. You would go on a date. Why?
SPEAKER_00:Why?
SPEAKER_02:But you won't do online.
SPEAKER_01:No, I will not do online dating.
SPEAKER_00:Why is it so taboo? What?
SPEAKER_01:Because it's not that it's taboo, it's just that. I think you've got people who are easier to lie. Well, and here's the thing as a woman, and it doesn't matter how gorgeous, fabulous you look in your online dating profile. Once guys see that I don't know how to put this right. Um, the unsolicited downhill.
SPEAKER_00:The unsolicited for the censor button.
SPEAKER_01:The unsolence unsolicited pictures in the inbox are immediate and constant.
SPEAKER_02:It's true. It is true. They start sending dick pics and all kinds of things.
SPEAKER_01:Immediately.
SPEAKER_02:Immediately.
SPEAKER_01:Before even saying, hey, how you doing? Um, anything like that. They're the dick pic.
SPEAKER_00:I didn't know this.
SPEAKER_01:Because uh it happened to me because it's happened to all my friends.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, first thing you have to do.
SPEAKER_00:Those are the ones you don't want. That's an easy filter, right? Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You know, I mean, you have to filter through it, you have to open that message box.
SPEAKER_00:That much. Yeah, actually that much content of these idiots.
SPEAKER_01:I have an entire file file folder on my phone of picks that I give to my friends. That I give to my friends to immediately send back if they get an unsolicited pick. Oh. Because it's like you traumatize me, I'm traumatizing you right back.
SPEAKER_02:I thought you were gonna go, um, I have these pictures, so when my friends get them, I can go, oh, I know him. We've done that before though.
SPEAKER_01:Do you recognize this? Yeah. Oh my god. You know, I had a coworker threaten, quote unquote me, um, to use my pictures on Facebook and make an online dating profile for me because she's so convinced that I need to go on dates. Yeah. And I'm like, I will hunt you down and murder you. Like, you have no idea. I've seen guys, I've seen guys that I know that sit there won't even look at their phone and will constantly just swipe right until someone messages them. They won't even look at the person, they're just like, hey, it's a numbers game. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So is the opposite true? Do you get like tit pics too? You wish.
SPEAKER_01:I assume.
SPEAKER_02:No, I think they do. No, I think they do. You think so? Because I've never no, I've never known my friends stuff. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, yeah, women's not act like they do. I'm sure that some do. And here's the bad thing.
SPEAKER_02:So I do see movies. I'm gonna put an account out there. You what?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, this is like 25 years ago. So just right now. No one cares about your ex. Was it on?
SPEAKER_01:Was it on Tinder? Was it on Twitter?
SPEAKER_00:No, no, it was match. Match? Yeah, like when it first started. I think I had like a free trial.
SPEAKER_02:And then see how that worked out, how that came full circle. Then you had to just light a match to get rid of it. But we don't talk about that, allegedly.
SPEAKER_00:I just wanted so I'm my point was it's been around for a long time. It has. I didn't send out a single dick pic or receive a single tit pick.
SPEAKER_01:So well, that's good. You're one of the very few. And and it wasn't out on that whole phase. I'm not saying I don't think it was as prevalent back then. I don't think it was because this new generation has got audacity on top of audacity. Oh, yeah, it's crazy. It is, and it's crazy. And but you know, and there are regular catfishers out there. There are the catfishers that use someone else's picture.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, uh, some tried to get me on on match, and it was either match or one of the other ones that I was on when I was dating. And yeah, I had a couple of guys who did.
SPEAKER_01:And you show up and you're looking around for them, you know, according to their picture, and there's some you know, 70-year-old guy with a walker, and it's like, this is not you. Yeah, like where did you steal this?
SPEAKER_02:The guys that did it to me, they weren't even real. I mean, the pictures they had stolen, and yeah, they were trying to get my money and all that stuff. And it was like if they only need read if I had a dollar fifty-seven, you know, come on.
SPEAKER_00:Wait, there was someone in the in the neighborhood in Georgia was talking to me. Who was it? Was it Robern or something? There's a guy actually driving around the neighborhood looking for so-and-so.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, yeah, yeah. Our neighbor did say that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, someone someone someone mentioned that, but and they like would go around looking for the person. And these people were driving for I mean, um it sounded like he was out of state or something like that.
SPEAKER_02:Trying to find where they're supposed to meet this catfisher. Oh my god. It is um, so I was gonna say that I did have a situation when I was online with I think it was Match, and I met this guy at a restaurant, and um when you were talking about what they don't look like, you know. I think you told us about this. No, this is a different one. This is a different one. And so I walked in and I immediately did not like him. He was arrogant and I just didn't like him. And I sat down and he goes, Oh, you look better than your pictures online. I go, thank you. He goes, What about me? And I didn't say anything. And he goes, Do I look like my pictures? I go, No. And he goes, I don't do I look worse. I go, yeah. And he goes, Oh, I thought I looked pretty much like that. No, you don't. And it was like, all I can do to just get out of there because it wasn't even close.
SPEAKER_01:See you the kind of person that if I walk in and see a discrepancy, and it and you know, whether it be an arrogance or a narcissist or uh even a looks discrepancy, I'm one to look at him and be like, no, and I will turn around and walk away. I won't even give them the chance because you you started out lying. You didn't even have to lie. You got liabetes at this point. I don't want to catch it.
SPEAKER_02:You're lying out your liar's hole. You keep on lying. Yeah, yeah, I don't like it. Um, I'm with you, but there are some different things out there that I was asking you about earlier called shape shifting. Oh, yeah. In general, I mean, it can be a descriptive or informal term for someone who like literally changes their appearance. Oh, yeah. Not just their face, but they're wearing different wigs all the time. They're they're wearing body shapers, like spanks. Oh my gosh, let's talk about spanks.
SPEAKER_01:Have you ever worked an incident? Let's talk about the incident. Dr. Dr. Domain. Do you remember the incident?
SPEAKER_02:Just a minute. Yes. So Dr. Domain, uh, dude, do you know what spanks are? Do you know what spanks are?
SPEAKER_00:No, I don't.
SPEAKER_02:They're like almost like what in olden days women used to wear girdles or corsets, you know. These are almost body shapers. Oh, yeah. And they're super tight. So they suck you, yeah, they suck you and push it. But they push out everywhere else. So you look like a busted can of biscuits. Because everybody thinks, oh, it made my waist look thinner. Well, you look like a linebacker now because you pushed it all up to your shoulders. Where do you think that goes?
SPEAKER_01:It doesn't disappear, it goes out the other ends.
SPEAKER_02:That's what happens. What situation do you remember with the Spanx?
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so because I'm not gonna do an Omaha. My cousins went with you. Oh gosh, on a trip. And one of them had the body shaper. I don't know if it was a Spanx actual one. I've never worn one before. One of them had the body shaper, and they go to put it on, and it's the top shaper, and they get stuck. This was me. Okay, you get stuck halfway through it. Your arms are stuck above your head, and it's under my armpits. Under your armpits, you can't unroll it. You're stoked and you come out just, I need help. Yeah, I need help. That is a cousin story.
SPEAKER_02:Oh my gosh. Yeah, my two my two nieces were there, uh Bobby's cousins, and I'm not kidding you. So I go in the bathroom and I'm thinking, I've never worn a spank before. I'll turn it out. Let's see what we got here. And I get my armpits. And you know how something is so tight. I mean, you're like pulling, and it's between my armpits and my boobs. I can't get it on my boobs. I can't pull it back up over my shoulders. And I'm walking out, and my arms are out like I am the Hulk, you know, and I'm walking out going, I need help. Well, by that time, everything below that spank, my boobs, my waist, everything looks like a can of biscuits. It's all just pushed down, it's all been pushed down. And I'm like, that was the one and only experience I've ever had with spanks. I've never worn I mean I don't even know.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I mean, you're a thin person anyway. Like I wear, I wear um a tank shaper usually every day, but that's honestly because my chesticles need help staying up at my buoys, my my buoys, my my uh catch-alls. Um the bras just aren't doing it all the time. So I do wear, and it's not it's not super tight, it's not anything else, but it does help just kind of help you. Helps lift the girls a little bit so they're off my stomach. Okay. I know, I know mom doesn't have a lot of experience with this, but that's bigger, bigger chested women um have an issue with things laying where they're not supposed to lay. Oh, there's no porch up bone underneath. How many times I've hidden things underneath my boots? There's my chap's legs. Oh my god. I put it under there for safekeeping. But I've never hidden that fact. Like it's not, it's not like a Spanx where it sucks in my waist and it makes me look like you know, thinner than I am. It just holds my boobies up, okay? That's all, folks. It just helps hold my boobies up.
SPEAKER_02:It's like, but here's my question. So, so that was my experience with Spanx. Never put them on after, never had them on before, would not even consider that crap. And I just think let's say that you're out on a date and you meet a guy and now you want to go home and get a little bit frisky. How are you gonna get it off? First of all, how are you getting it off? And secondly, you think he ain't gonna notice that when you take that? You notice the boom?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. When you like lift it up and it just all falls out? Yeah, it's like, oh, that can't be a good one.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:It's like you hear the change drop on the floor that you dropped in your bra earlier.
SPEAKER_02:And I I mean, have you ever okay? So I'm gonna ask you, Dr. Domain. Oh Lord. Have you ever gotten home with a date and you guys are getting ready to get a little frisky, and you find out that she's wearing you know some tight stuff that you didn't even think about. That it's like, what the heck?
SPEAKER_00:No, I can't say I have no.
SPEAKER_02:You must have just dated little girls. Little little skinny things. Or they were bigger and they just didn't hide it. They didn't hide it, yeah. And I have more respect for that, to be honest with you. Don't hide it. I mean, if it's yours, it's yours. You're gonna own it anyway.
SPEAKER_01:But well, and I mean, there's other things like the the super padded bras that give you an extra cup size. Yeah, that's a lie. It is a lie. I mean, even something, you know, if we want to really go into it, even something as simple as contacts. Yeah. Contacts are like I wear contacts. Yeah. Um, I know people that wear colored contacts. Different colors, like I don't have blue eyes. Things like that.
SPEAKER_02:That's a lie.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Because I wear glasses.
SPEAKER_02:I failed the seeing test. Okay. And I'm not gonna, I I am gonna kind of go after women here a little bit. We expect men to be so truthful and so honest with us and be so upfront and those aren't even our eyebrows. And those like yeah, you're gonna take that tape off the back of your neck and your neck is right. I remember that. We used to have our pictures taken, and if Bobby and my daughter Modesty were standing next to me, we used to grab the back of her arm around me and grab the back of my throat and pull my skin back so that the picture looks like I don't have a big thing. I forgot about that. But my point is this, okay, quit coming after me on this. But my point is this that we expect men, and men are just as phony, don't get me wrong, but we expect men to be open and honest and and all of that stuff with us, and we can't even show them our true face, our true face. We can't show them our true fingernails, our true boobies, we can't show sometimes our voice.
SPEAKER_01:We change our voice for them.
SPEAKER_02:You know, we're putting in butt pieces just to get our butts up there.
SPEAKER_01:So it's like what's not even get started on plastic surgery. Oh, what a horrific thing to have. I anybody that actually changes the foundation of who they are, like goes in for you know the bone scrapings, things like that. Don't come talk to me. I'm sorry. What do you mean?
SPEAKER_00:Well, I mean it's temporary, but yeah, more like what Bobby's mentioning, it's like then you're committed.
SPEAKER_02:A facelift.
SPEAKER_00:You're trying to do something like that.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I would do a facelift just because I don't like the wrinkles. Well, and I probably plan on it.
SPEAKER_00:Some are real extreme, like that one lady we saw with the big lips. It looked like she had hemorrhoids on her face.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah, injections in the lips.
SPEAKER_01:Or even like where they have large jaw, they'll have the bone of their jaw like shaved down because their jawline isn't right. That's wrong. That is so wrong to me. That is changing literally the base of who you are.
SPEAKER_00:And if you do it when you're younger, and how is that different than any other form of mutilation?
SPEAKER_02:Because it's permanent. Like, but here's the other tattoos.
SPEAKER_00:Like tattoos and rain.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, yeah. You look like a supermodel. Winston Churchill baby.
SPEAKER_01:And your husband doesn't know that you do not look like a supermodel without all the plastic surgery. You pop out a couple babies that look like the hills have eyes, and all of a sudden you have to explain how genetics work. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy to me. Yeah, that's that's kind of an extreme form. Now, if we're talking like tattoos and rings, first of all, you know, piercings can be removed. You can you can really tell what a person looks like with piercings.
SPEAKER_00:But that's not always the case. Like, who is that freak we saw on TV the other day? Like uh cock rings or something in his ears or whatever. They're called gauges. Yeah, my cousins have those.
SPEAKER_01:But those stay.
SPEAKER_00:Those stay.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, they stretch out your ears permanently.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, so they're permanent.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, well, if you take them out, the skin would shrink up a little bit, but those big holes. But they're still permanent. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's kind of good. And tattoos, I mean, yeah, they cover, you know, your skin, but they don't also have to cover scars.
SPEAKER_02:I've got some that cover. Yeah. Most of my tattoos cover scar. I had some ugly scars from surgeries and stuff, and it was like, eh, I want to cut it.
SPEAKER_00:I don't think there's any procedure that's out there that you can't tell it's been done. It might be hard.
SPEAKER_02:Can you tell mine's been done? Can you tell she's had her entire face scraped on it? That I've had that my eyes were down here before my face left. Can you tell that?
SPEAKER_01:They had to rebuild the belly button.
SPEAKER_00:What I'm saying is Yeah, they did. It shouldn't come as a surprise.
SPEAKER_01:Oh my god. But if you look at like okay, let's do it.
SPEAKER_00:Man, I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_02:Well, yeah, that's a that's a whole that's a whole different show.
SPEAKER_01:But I mean, if you look at me and I'm covered in tattoos, I have a lot of tattoos, but you can tell I had that I have tattoos. You can tell that they are covering some parts of my skin. Right. There, I'm not, it's not like I can hide a fifth head. Well, it's not like you're wearing a boob.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah. Some of them are pretty good, but I think at the end of the day, you'll probably be able to figure it out.
SPEAKER_02:So I'm gonna mention here maybe, you know, we've talked about filtered faces, and there's called an Instagram face. Yep. And those are probably models. Yeah, those are popular culture terms used to describe, you know, that specific look that they want to achieve. Um and that's through cosmetics or procedures, or even like you said, having your bones moved and things like that. There is a BTU, it's called beautification technology use. This academic term refers specifically to the digital editing and retouching of virtual portraits through smart devices and apps.
SPEAKER_01:So they put people on magazine covers and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_00:Like when you do like old black and white ancestor photos, yeah. Yeah, that's kind of cool.
SPEAKER_02:And it is kind of cool, but it is very misleading. And then um, like Dr. Domain, we I had a picture on my Facebook, and he took it and he with AI, I think you used you animated it and put a squirrel in my kitchen, and then everybody was like, You have a squirrel in your kitchen? No, I don't. That was AI. Oh my gosh. Yeah, people were going crazy, Jane.
SPEAKER_01:And AI is a whole nother world.
SPEAKER_00:Just to deceive all your small friends.
SPEAKER_01:But I mean, yeah, I mean, like, you know, face to face, person to person, there's a lot of things that that people are doing. And I I guess I don't understand it because if I if I'm on a date, if I'm you know trying to attract somebody, you gotta get you gotta get the realm and you gotta want to know the real immediately because you're not dating just to date, you're dating to form. Yeah, well, and we're not meeting at my peak and everything's downhill from there. Okay, we're meeting at the bottom of the hill. And maybe I'm gonna go to the city.
SPEAKER_02:The only way to go is up. So but I think you know what it boils down to is how we handle filters. And there, obviously, with AI, there is uh a fear out there because you can make anybody sound like the president of the United States. You can make anybody see anything. Anybody say anything, any movement. We found that out with the squirrel, didn't we, Dr. Delaney? And um, I think we just have to do some impression management and and control the images that we present. There's also what's called uh it's kind of a practice that can be associated with the term like Snapchat dysphoria or filter dysphoria.
SPEAKER_01:Is that like body dysmorphic dysphoria?
SPEAKER_02:No, but it's almost a mental health con it's almost in a mental health context where individuals become so accustomed uh to their alter image, altered image that they in their minds think that that's their natural appearance.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And so that can obviously, you know, become an issue for people.
SPEAKER_01:Especially somebody who, you know, posts three, four, five, six times a day and they do use those filters. Now, there is something that I did explain to my teenage son because he always said, you know, why do I look like this in pictures and I see myself this way? We all have a little bit of a tiny touch of you know the body dysmorphic disorder. So when we look at ourselves, we're not seeing ourselves as other people see us. Right. We're not seeing, you know, we have a different view.
SPEAKER_02:But I think women are different than men because I think men can have this big old dad bod with a big old gut hanging out, and they get a picture of themselves and they go, I look mod. You know, and we get a picture of our small wolves, I think it's more self-confidence. Oh my gosh, you know, I think that's more of a self-confidence thing.
SPEAKER_01:Do you?
SPEAKER_02:I do because I think it's different for men and women. I do, because I mean I you think men are more confident with their bodies, even if they're no, I do because why do you have that dad bod and you think you look off?
SPEAKER_01:If that was the case, of course they like dad bots. I do, but if that was the case, then we wouldn't have these men waxing and shaving, we wouldn't have these men who are at the gym five days a week trying to change the shape of their body. We wouldn't have these men growing beards and trimming their eyebrows and things like that. Stay healthy. I think that there is an underlying problem with men, but it's not as pronounced as with women because you know, men are more shove those feelings down, put them in a jar, and eventually they'll go away. Yeah. You know, they don't talk about it, they especially don't talk about it with other men because it's it's seen as a weakness.
SPEAKER_02:Don't you think that our society, whether it's through social networking or even through the news media or you know, anything that you see on TV, movies and stuff, that it kind of does cause that dysphoria in the kids that are even growing up that absolutely have to be detrimental. They have to be thinner, they have to be, you know, a certain I have to be tan, or I have to have blonde hair or I have to have Victoria's Secret.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah. One of the the biggest problems, I think, in in childhood, especially with women uh and young girls, Victoria's Secret is owned, operated, and run by a man. Right. An old man in Ohio, an old man, yeah, you know, and it he tells these young girls what they're supposed to look like. He tells these young girls that Finn is in, and you know, if you don't have the perfect body and if you have thighs that touch, then you're wrong. Right. Screw you, dude.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but it pays. Like, what was that? It pays. Who was that? What was the ad with the jeans? And geez, I'm totally botching it. The model that just got ripped data because bongo jeans?
SPEAKER_02:No, the one that just came out recently American Eagle because they put a white gal out in a pair of thin jeans, and it was like, what's wrong with I mean, who cares what color you are? They're showing jeans, and I don't care if you show me fat jeans, I don't care if you show me thin jeans. And why would you why would anybody care? Well, and they're gonna look different on every and it was like, okay, we we're all different, folks. Yeah, yeah. Every every commercial is not gonna have somebody who's black, Hispanic, Italian, right, whatever. There's white people too, legs, yeah, yeah. I mean, come on.
SPEAKER_01:And and there are, you know, there are beautiful young women, my oldest daughter included, who are very thin. They've always been very thin. They don't have to work at it, you know, as much as other people do. They still get she gets harassed for she gets harassed. Oh, go eat a cheeseburger, go eat something. You're so thin, you must be starving yourself, or you're gonna go throw that up. First of all, this girl has always had a healthy appetite. I've seen her down food that a teenage boy could not eat. Yeah. And, you know, she she does get harassed for. I think she's absolutely perfect. And the other thing is beautiful.
SPEAKER_02:The other thing she is, she's not that thin. She's thin, she's she's thin, don't get me wrong, but she's not like anorexic. Go e the M and M. Yeah, you know, like you're not anorexic. Right. You're not seeing any of that. She looks, I think she looks healthy, and I think she looks like that.
SPEAKER_01:And I wouldn't want her to worry about changing her body in order to fit into someone else's parameters. Right. Because that would that would break my heart for her not to love for sure.
SPEAKER_02:Because they think that we fat shame somebody. We're not fat shaming anybody, we're just saying that's not what I want.
SPEAKER_01:No, and I don't know. Here's where we're shaming people. Be you. Yeah. Like be you. Just don't make you dry. But if you love to wear makeup, wear makeup, but be honest about it. Don't be like, well, this is my face shape, and then you have a completely different face shape. And don't get me wrong, you know, I watch some really amazing YouTubers that do makeup, mainly because I'm jealous I don't know how to. But uh the stuff that they do, it's a real talent to be able to change an entire jawline or an entire nose with just makeup. You're gonna be shocked.
SPEAKER_02:That's a talent when I tell you this. So there is a YouTuber. He is a guy who wears makeup and his name is Jeffrey.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I love him. Yeah, I've seen quite a few guys that I'm not on tour.
SPEAKER_02:That's not my cup of tea to see men in women's clothing. I don't, I'm not into that stuff. I don't care. He is so you do you, because I don't really care what you do. But don't come on me with this shit or with this stuff. But I gotta be honest with you. The guy, first of all, he knows his makeup and he does.
SPEAKER_01:Wow, yeah, and he, I mean, he can contour and shape, and it's just it's amazing.
SPEAKER_02:It's amazing, and and that's good. What he does outside of that, that's his business. Yeah, I mean not fun.
SPEAKER_01:But that's with women though, too. I mean, that's cool if you want to do that, but be honest with people, you know. I love to feel beautiful too. I know I'm just like a pile of heaping garbage most days because me too. Listen, I roll out of bed, uh, that's it. That's what she gets. It's like 15 minutes later, let's go. Like, I got dog hair on me, uh, you know, whatever. But I love to feel beautiful too. And so, yeah, there's times that I do post filtered selfies. Yeah, that's cool if you want to do that. But you do the love of dogs, put one on there so we can find you if you're missing, because we need to know what you look like and be proud of yourself, and you know, quick catfishing people, man. Even in person, just just stop. Let's let's start being ourselves and let's start being, you know, demanding that if someone wants to love us, they're gonna love us for ourselves, not for who we can be shown as.
SPEAKER_02:So we mentioned Victoria's Secrets earlier, and I said, you know, so the youngest model on Victoria's Secrets, I guess when she was discovered, how old she was? 11. You're close, 14. That's actually older than I would have ever thought. Uh the youngest model that'll that's in the lineup, you know, that has been was Taylor Hill. She was 19. Um, but yeah, it's like, oh man, these kids are just younger and younger, and you know.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, we need to start showing them to be proud of who they are. Yeah. And if they if they want to change something, then you know, that's on them. I understand that, but let's let's just start being proud of who we are.
SPEAKER_02:And we say that to you listeners because we're proud of you and be the beautiful person that you are. But love your ugly. Love your ugly. Love your ugly and understand that we all have some ugly, and I don't care how beautiful you think somebody is, we all have some ugly. And just remember that your beauty really and truly, and people say this, and you kind of go, Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It is on the inside and it shows on the outside. That's where it comes from. I have beautiful kidneys. So okay, I wasn't gonna go that far. But anyway, love yourself and know that the beauty shines outward.
SPEAKER_01:So, listen, that is all the insanity that we have for today. We do appreciate all of our listeners joining us here at the rabbit hole studio each and every week. So, listen, follow us on Facebook. It's a boomer and a gen Xer walk into a bar, the official podcast. Like us if you have feedback, if you have a question, if you have a show topic, hey, drop us an email at boomerandgenxer at gmail.com. If you have hate mail, well, filter that shit because I don't care. Until next week, I'm Bobby Joy. And I'm Jane Bird, and you're stuck with us later.