We Are Losing Resilience When We Label Everything Trauma - Trigger Warnings? Really? S:2E:28

Trigger warnings used to be rare and specific, now they show up everywhere and we’re not sure that’s helping anyone. From a high school play that upset parents to the way social media posts get “put through the grinder” without the right label, we dig into how content warnings have expanded from genuine safety needs into a cultural expectation. We’re the mother and daughter behind two mics at Rabbit Run Studio, and we’re bringing our usual mix of wit, blunt honesty, and lived experience.

We draw a clear line between physical triggers (like strobe lights and seizures) and emotional triggers that come from words, themes, or situations tied to past pain. We talk about why theatre, movies, and storytelling are supposed to make you feel something in real time, and how warning labels can flatten surprise, tension, and catharsis. We also get into comedy crowds demanding “fair game” topics disappear, and why trying to stop a show because you’re uncomfortable can train everyone to avoid discomfort instead of learning to cope with it.

We challenge “trauma inflation” and ask what happens when everyday slights get treated like catastrophic trauma, while also acknowledging that PTSD and serious trauma are real and deserve real help. If this topic hits a nerve, good, that’s the point. Subscribe, share the episode with a friend, and leave a review, then tell us where you think the line should be.

email: boomerandgenxer@gmail.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Well, Hobby and welcome to today's show. Boomerang and Janet's are walk into a bar coming to you from the Rabbit Run Studio, where you, as our listeners, will experience some wit and wisdom, some smart assary, and a mother and a daughter. Yep, we're still related, but we question it all the time. My name is Jane. My co-host is my daughter Bobby. And for the next 20-25 minutes, we're here to shock, entertain, and uh we'd say educate, but we're not educators. We're not anything, we're not scientists, we're not legal people. We just are two chicks with mics. How you doing, Bobby?

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Not bad, not bad. How are you today?

SPEAKER_01 0:49

I'm great. How you doing, Dr. Domain? We never ask you how you are. How are you doing? Good. That's it. That's all. That's all we're gonna get on.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

It's always good.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

He is good. He's very good. He's a great guy. Anyway, um, hey, Bobby, anything new in your neck of the woods?

SPEAKER_02 1:10

Not really. Just uh hanging out and waiting for this winter storm to pass.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

That doesn't sound like anything fun. I'm just waiting for winter to pass. It's like 70 degrees here today, so pretty nice.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

Oh God, shut up.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Don't shape people like that. Oh, it's so beautiful here. I'm sitting on the beach.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

I mean, I used to do it to you guys when I was in Texas.

Why Trigger Warnings Are Everywhere

SPEAKER_01 1:35

You did, you did it all the time. So uh today I believe that we are talking about. Are we talking about psychological triggers or or legal triggers?

SPEAKER_02 1:46

So I think that we're going to talk about more along the line of like trigger warnings.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Because, you know, with our with our show, we do talk about a lot of topics, interesting topics. And we always, you know, in the beginning, when we started our show, we're like, you know, this is more kind of for adults, but we're gonna try to keep it, you know, kind of low profile so that you know maybe the younger generation will want to listen. And honestly, we've only had two, well, it was a two-part show that we issued a trigger warning for our listeners. It seems like nowadays everything has a trigger warning.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

So Dr. Domain was just pointing at me because I'm tick tocking on not tick tocking, I'm ticking away on my keyboard as you're talking, and he's like, Stop it, stop. Um, so emotional triggers, and basically, so what would some emotional triggers be? I don't I don't have any well, let's lay it out here first.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

You know, physical triggers, we're talking like strobe lights, uh, maybe loud noises, things like that. Things that can actually cause a stroke or yeah, yeah, you know, physically trigger a seizure or things like that. And people, we're not gonna talk about that. Those those warnings are normal. I agree with those, you know, for people who do have epilepsy and things like that. They need to be warned.

SPEAKER_01 3:13

Right.

School Plays And Social Media Pile-Ons

SPEAKER_02 3:14

I'm talking more about the trigger warnings like let's say something that happened here recently. Um, we had the high school was doing a play and it was an adapted play, but people were very upset because there was no trigger warnings about things like suicide and um death and bullying and things like that. And you know, you're on a lot of times on social media, a lot of sites will say trigger warning, this this is talking about infant loss or trigger warning, this is talking about animal cruelty. And when people don't use those trigger warnings when they do post, you know, they just get they get put right through the grinder about it. And I'm just I'm kind of sitting back wondering, when did this all change? So you when did this happen?

SPEAKER_01 4:09

So you mean the name of the play that was sexual assaults, dog beating, and child child killing was not uh good enough trigger warning for him? I'm kidding, that's not what the name of the play was. No, no, not at all. I I'm with you, but you notice that if you watch a Netflix movie that or even on Prime, wherever, they always put those warnings up there, you know, like foul language and sex and I know drugs, smoking. Smoking. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

Well, those are those are kind of different because those are, you know, by the I can't remember the acronym for it, but it's the the picture association, you know, where they rate it R and they say it's rated R because of language.

SPEAKER_01 4:55

Or PG 13, yeah.

Are Warnings Ruining Art And Comedy

SPEAKER_02 4:57

I mean, we we've had that for a long time. I'm talking like literally in everyday life that we have these trigger warnings. So, like, like I said, in theater, like let's say you go to see a Broadway musical, you know, before you go, you go to buy your tickets and they say trigger warning. This play deals with death and drugs and abuse. Okay, well, why? Why are we putting those trigger warnings on there? Because, you know, in theater, the people who write these musicals and plays and things, they want us to experience it as it happens. Yeah, they want us to have those emotions, to laugh, to cry, to be in awe, to be in shock. That's kind of part of you know the experience of going to a play or going to a musical is to actually be in there and feel those things as it happens. And for some reason, anymore, I think that we are cheating ourselves out of life when we have all these trigger warnings because it's like we're obsessed with not letting ourselves just feel these feelings as they're happening. Yeah, we have to be warned about them.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Yeah, just feel the emotion, right? I mean, it's like saying when you go to a horror movie that there'll be horrible things to do. I kind of know that. Yeah, right. I kind of already know that. So so much for improv on the stage anymore because somebody couldn't just automatically say, Oh, get rid of that dog on stage, and and somebody gets themselves all in an uproar because it was pet abuse or some bizarro thing.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

Yeah, comedians are are big on it because you know there are a lot of comedians who do live shows and and they have somebody in the crowd, you know, screaming at them about what they're talking about. It's jokes, people.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

Right.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

It's jokes.

What An Emotional Trigger Really Is

Step Away Instead Of Policing Others

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Right. You knew you were coming to see a comedian. Get over yourself. I mean, I feel like everything's fair game, I don't care what it is. Right. And um, yeah, so emotional triggers, uh, I if I understand you right, are specific words or behaviors or situations or sensations that cause some type of negative reaction, could often be rooted in somebody's past trauma or unmet needs is psychological uh evaluating term there. So some examples that uh I looked up was like feeling dismissed, criticized, or trapped, or experiencing rejection. You know what I say about that? Just step away, okay? That's my family get together every holiday with you kids. So I just step away. I leave everybody in the house and I get in the car and I drive somewhere else, have a drink, wait for them to have their party over, and then I come back. No, I'm just kidding. But um, it does uh apparently it, you know, psychologically, these triggers do activate an automatic fight or flight response, right? And it could lead to defensive behavior. And I think that's really what people focus on. Now, again, I'm all for and don't put yourself in that situation. You know, if you're that worried about it, oh, I have these triggers. Well, stay home. You know, I don't care, stay home.

SPEAKER_02 8:18

Um I mean, the internet is at your fingertips. If you're worried about a movie or a play you're gonna go see, maybe look it up.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

Yeah, look it up and see what it's about.

SPEAKER_02 8:27

If you have that big of a trigger that you think that it could cause some kind of distress or damage to you, look it up, see what it's about, and and leave the rest of us out of it.

SPEAKER_00 8:40

Yeah, why make everyone else walking eggshells because of your disorder?

SPEAKER_01 8:45

Yeah, it's true.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

I mean, you know, we have something so mundane, like entertainment that has the capacity to flip your switch so profoundly that you can't function as a human being. I'd suggest you probably take your time to fix yourself.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

But yeah, don't do those things.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

Yeah, don't expose yourself to what a normal human being would not have an issue with.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

And I remember uh and I hate to say this because it was it I I won't say who it was, but when we had a holiday get together, I was talking about something, and I said, Well, something about them being fat, and I wasn't talking about anybody specifically, I just used the term fat. And she said, Oh, and I go, what? And she goes, I'm offended, and that triggers me. And I go, I don't, I don't give a shit. Walked away. It's like using the word fat triggers you. Get over yourself. I wouldn't, I didn't say you, I didn't say anybody here, I didn't even give you a name. It was such an arbitrary comment, and I thought, I don't give a shit that that triggers you. Get over yourself.

SPEAKER_02 9:54

Well, and I'm kind of like when you say stuff like that, and it's like, well, are you fat? Yeah, I'm fat. I know I'm fat. So yeah, absolutely. You know, like when you called me out for eating all of the deviled eggs, I know I'm fat. Okay, I ate them.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

I have no regret. She didn't eat all the deviled eggs, but I do believe that she had a total of 18 that day. Oh, at least, yeah. So it's funny that this kid won't eat eggs any other time, but you devil some eggs up, man. And it's like oh no, me, I love eggs.

SPEAKER_02 10:24

Oh, I do check the other one that doesn't eat eggs.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

Oh, that's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

But um, getting back to these emotional triggers, you know, even in relationships, um, they focus on things like feeling dismissed or criticized or trapped or experiencing rejection. Again, if that's your relationship with that person, step away, step away, run, forest, run. Um, because those are all on you. I hate to say it, but those are all on you. You know, just because you feel like you're being ignored or dismissed, that's on you. There are times I feel ignored and dismissed. We went to a place here not very long ago, and no one spoke to me. And you know me, I'll talk to anybody about anything. And and nobody was really speaking to me. And I thought, I don't really care. Because you know what? I don't need people to come talk to me for me to feel value. So it was no big deal to me. But I guess when somebody criticizes you, then you feel less worthy or less of yourself. Why would you let anybody's opinion drive who you are? I mean, you were made perfect, so why would it I I don't understand the logic here?

SPEAKER_02 11:40

So you're going off on like all the emotional stuff, and I'm going off on more like the physical stuff, but you know.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

Like, tell me what, like you mean like post-war stuff?

SPEAKER_02 11:49

Yeah, like let's say you know, you go to a movie and it has like let's let's say you go see Saving Private Ryan, which uh a lot of people will say is the most realistic uh that one was that was a war movie. Yeah, I mean that one you watch the trailer, you decide to go see that movie, you look at the name of the of the movie, you you know what it's about. You walk into that theater, you have these feelings, these very strong feelings that come up. Instead of just getting up and leaving that theater, you get up and turn around and go, stop the movie. Nobody can watch this because I can't stand it.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

And that's what's happening today, is a lot of people say, you know, you need to stop that because I don't agree with it.

SPEAKER_02 12:34

No, no, I don't, you know, and I I think that you know, we use the phrase trigger warning as a way to avoid experiencing real life as it happens, the uncomfortable, the the sad, the the not so happy things in life as it happens. And I think it cheats humans as a whole out of the ability to have those coping mechanisms. And without them, yeah, what do we got?

SPEAKER_01 13:04

And it cheats them out of their own happiness. You know, you can't be happy when you're focused on what makes you unhappy. When you talk about, and I'm gonna go to your side of the trigger warnings here that you were talking about. I understand a lot of them. If you are ex-military, if you like our grandson, you know, was shot, and your son was shot, you know, loud noises, shotguns, fireworks at 4th of July. I get all of those things. I truly do, because you know what? We didn't face death like our servicemen do. We didn't face death like somebody who was shot. We don't face death every single day like a police officer does. Now we all face death every day, right? I'm not saying we don't. I'm saying not in those environments, not under those conditions, and not at that severity. And so I do get that, you know, where there's chaotic environments. I mean, I hate chaotic environments, I really don't like crowds. It's like, ah, get me out of here. I'd rather be home, you know, doing something.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

Right. But I mean, in the real world, you don't get trigger warnings. If you're walking down the street and uh an episode of violence happens in front of you, they're not gonna stop and say, trigger warning, I'm about to stab this bitch. You might want to walk away. You don't get that, you don't get that at all. You don't get that at all. It really, I believe it takes away our ability to cope. Are we traumatized sometimes? Absolutely, yes, absolutely, yeah, but it is our responsibility to navigate that because we should not have the world bend around our traumas. The world is not going to bend around our traumas. Yeah, I was just gonna say, I don't think it's going to do that for us because I mean there there are responsibilities, like uh, you know, if I'm triggered by something, it's my responsibility to work on that to either desensitize myself to that or to avoid it. But I'm not going to expect, you know, if I if I had a traumatic situation, let's say I'm not making fun of this, but like let's say I I had a traumatic situation with pickles. I'm not going to walk into high V and say, I demand you remove all pickles from the shelves while I'm shopping, because that is traumatic.

Real Trauma Versus Everyday Discomfort

SPEAKER_01 15:33

Right, right. And I'm gonna avoid the pickle aisle. And you know, the the word traumatic is thrown around like the race cart is thrown around. It truly is. And it's like, oh, I got trauma. What's your trauma? Um, you know, a a jar fell over of pickles and it fell on the floor and hit my foot one time.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

And I got called fat while eating a pickle one time. Yeah, now I can never. No, I can't.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

You know what? You need to understand, folks, what real trauma is, because that's not real trauma. Um, you know, real trauma is being burned on 75% of your body. Real burn real trauma is being shot at. Um, real trauma is, you know, facing life and death situations. It's not somebody turned the lights on me, what off on me one time when I was trying to read a book and it just scared me so much I felt so lonely. Well, you know what? You need to grow the f up. Oh, God, I didn't mean to say that. I didn't mean to say that, but you need to grow up and you need to start focusing on the good parts of your life and not those things that you think are bad because we all face them. We all face them. I remember one of my grandkids, you know, said, Well, you know, these things happen to me and these things happen to me. I just looked at him and I said, They happen to everybody. You're not special, you are not special, it happens to everybody. We've all had some type of trauma that we consider trauma, but I don't consider those things that you're considering trauma. I consider those everyday life things. And you learn to deal with them. But we've all had something in our lives, and you're not special, you're not special at all.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

Now, I will say that if it's like, you know, take for example, my son. Um, after my son was shy, I fought hard and I still am fighting hard for safer schools for more preventative measures, not reactive measures. Right now, that that's not anything about my triggers or his triggers. That's about an unsafe environment being safer for everybody.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

Absolutely that's I'm definitely not talking about things like that. I'm not talking about people who, you know, had a car mechanical failure and had a horrific wreck and they're paralyzed, and now they're fighting this car company to make it safer. I'm not talking about those things. I'm I'm literally talking about, well, uh, one time I saw a dog get hit in the road, and now I can't watch Marley and me, so they should take it off the shelf.

Closing Thoughts And Listener Email

SPEAKER_01 18:00

I'm with you on that, Bobby. I I just I'm not saying that people don't have psychological issues because a lot of them do. We have a mental illness in our country, and you know, it's an epidemic. It's an epidemic. And you know, the problem is is people are accepting those as epidemics, and they're accepting those and saying, oh, they they have something wrong with them, and we need to be cautious of this. Uh no, you don't. Uh they need to buck up and they need to find help. And here's here's part of the problem, too. A lot of these psychologists are fostering this type of environment. They're fostering this type of behavior and this type of thought. It it really maybe it is tough love. I don't really know what it is, but I do know this. It is an epidemic for sure. So I hope you all get the help that you need. But remember, you can always walk away. You can always walk away, you can always turn that TV off, you can always turn that phone off, you can always do every all of that stuff. So that's all I got, Bobby.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

Well, hey, I think that is the uh all the insanity that we have for today, but we do appreciate you joining us here at the Rabbit Run Studios. So be sure to follow us, like us, share us with your friends, because we look forward to spending time with you each week. Uh, if you have any positive feedback for us or if there's a topic you'd like for us to talk about, drop us a short email at boomerandgenxer at gmail.com. If you have hate mail, well, hey, that triggers me, so you can keep it. Um until next week, I'm Bobby Joyce.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

And I'm Jane Bird. And you're stuck with us.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

Peace out. Later.