A Boomer and GenXer Walk into a Bar
Wit and wisdom, some smart assery, and a Mother and Daughter questioning “Are we even related?”
A Boomer and GenXer Walk into a Bar
What Chaps YOUR Hide? Let's Discuss Shall We? S:02E:39
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What chaps your hide? What just makes your blood boil; okay maybe not boil but steam a bit?
Welcome to the show where minor inconveniences become major offenses.
Have you ever wanted to launch a public speakerphone user into the sun? Do "stupid traffic requirements" make your blood steam? You’re in the right place. Join Bobbi (constantly on the verge of losing it), Jane (already crazy), and Dr. Domain (just trying to figure out what the heck happened) as they unpack the everyday absurdities that chap their hides.
From the struggles of wearing glasses to the literal crime of Jane stabbing her fork into the nucleus of Dr. Domain’s waffle, no grievance is too small to obsess over. Tune in, laugh along, and validate your own petty rage. Look out listeners, it’s about to get wild!
Feel free to give us feedback or tell us what topic you would like us to talk about at boomerandgenxer@gmail.com. Like, follow and share us please!
email: boomerandgenxer@gmail.com
Welcome And Why Manners Matter
SPEAKER_03Welcome everyone to today's show. A boomer and a gemxer walk into a bar, coming to you from our rabbit hole studio, where you as a listener will experience some wit and wisdom, some smart assery, and a mother and daughter questioning: Are we even related? My name is Bobby Joy, and my co-host is my mom Jane. And for the next little while, we're gonna try to entertain you.
SPEAKER_02Entertain we will, because we have quite an interesting topic today. One that we have mentioned periodically throughout other shows.
SPEAKER_03One that I think is one of your favorites. It is kind of one of my favorites. Do you even know what it is, Bobby? Yeah, I do actually. We're gonna be talking about manners and maybe a little etiquette. What? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So are you gonna be dead silent on that?
SPEAKER_03I could be. I could be.
SPEAKER_02Well, um, the reason.
SPEAKER_03No, no, come on. You uh you say that, and listeners are gonna be like, man, she wasn't raised with any manners or etiquette. Look, I was. You were, and I know a lot of high class etiquette. I just don't use it. I mean, where where am I gonna go with that? Well, I know a lot of high class stuff. High class etiquette.
SPEAKER_02Yes, I know a lot of hair stuff. I know where that fork goes. I know. So we are gonna talk about manners a little bit, and which we'll spill over into etiquette. And so when somebody tells you you really don't have any manners, Bobby, what I mean, what's that mean to you? I mean, does that offend you? Do you just kind of go, eh? I don't really care.
SPEAKER_03Usually it's after I belch really loud.
SPEAKER_02But see, you know that's on the list. That's on
Belching And Public Table Behavior
SPEAKER_02the list. So let's talk about table manners and etiquette.
SPEAKER_03I was kind of a table though, so you can't call it table. I mean just you know just walking echoing, walking through the Walmart. Walking through the Walmart all over the woman. Hey, listen, if you burp or something, the the ex you know, excuse me has to be as at least as loud as the burp, and then you sound like an idiot screaming, excuse me, because regardless, that's unacceptable.
SPEAKER_02Irregardless, irregardless, is right. Irregardless. So regardless, that's unacceptable. That is considered poor manners. Now you're gonna say, well, in some countries, the belch like that is considered a compliment to the cook. Yeah, well, we're not in those countries, are we? Better out than in. I suppose, but so belching. So um, my girls uh thought that they went to the college of Belcherama and uh they they graduated top in their classes, that's for sure.
SPEAKER_03I might hold a world record for longest belch.
SPEAKER_02You may, and your sister the loudest, yeah. So uh we do have that going for us. That's our claim to fame here in our family of redneck hillbillies. Uh, when we talk about belching, belching at the table. So, is a little belch at the table okay? It's not like you can hold it in. Yes, you can.
SPEAKER_03No, you can't. Oh my goodness, you can too, and you can silence it. I mean, you can muffle it, but that you don't have a lot of control about what how it's coming out and at what speed.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so yours come out like a torpedo, okay? Like you're running, like you're taking somebody out. Yes, yes, and God forbid, stand back because you're liable to get some on somebody accurate at 300 yards. So you're telling me, honest to goodness, that you can't control any of that.
SPEAKER_03I'm saying you can stifle it, you know, you can try to silence it as much as you can. But if a belch is coming out, what are you gonna do? Swallow it? You know how bad that hurts? Can't you?
SPEAKER_02I mean, I I would think that you can just silence it. I mean, I don't do the big old god-awful belches.
SPEAKER_03I'm not, I'm saying you can stifle it. You know, you can silence it somewhat, but if you've got one that's you know, let's say you just downed a root beer or something, and you have to there's gonna be some kind of you downed a root beer.
SPEAKER_00You stifle it. How'd you use your napkin as a muffler?
SPEAKER_02I would use my napkin as a muffler. I mean, I would if I thought that you know I it was gonna have any noise at all, that napkin would go over my mouth.
SPEAKER_03I mean, like you can like close your mouth and hope it doesn't burn out your nose hairs on the way out, but Gemini Christmas. What are you blowing out? I have a lot of issues. Look, I I don't drink the healthiest stuff and I don't eat the healthiest stuff, so when it comes out, it's like a thunderclap. Okay, it's like four has come through.
SPEAKER_02I mean, uh, you know, I'm afraid that sometime there's gonna be paramedics at the table after I go to the restroom and come back, and it's because one of you girls nailed somebody with a belch.
Please Thank You And Sir Ma’am
SPEAKER_03You know, besides belching, you let's talk about just some basic manners. Please and thank you. Okay, you know, the core manners. You want to get off the belching. Well, I do because we could do a whole episode on this of her just ripping my ass about this.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so let's okay, let's talk about please and thank you. I am a big proponent of no matter what. It is yes, ma'am, no, sir, thank you, ma'am, thank you, sir. Um, most times we do, okay, and I will say that Dr. Domain brought that into my life, the sir and ma'am. That's because he's from the south.
SPEAKER_00No, when's the last time you called me, sir?
SPEAKER_02Not you, ouch, bonehead. Ouch.
SPEAKER_03I don't call you. I could go really south with this, and I'm not going to, but that is because you know, he's from the south. And when they when we lived in Texas, you know my kids were young, and it was yes, ma'am, no, ma'am. But I also think the climate has changed.
SPEAKER_00What does my son call you?
SPEAKER_03He calls me Miss Jane. They both call me Miss Jane. Am I supposed to be calling you Mr. Jane? Oh, for the love of crazy.
SPEAKER_02Wait a minute, because his name is Dr. Domain. Hello. Okay. So what Mr. Domain? Mr. Doctor, Mr.
SPEAKER_03Doctor, Mr. Doctor, sir, Domain. Mr. Doctor, sir. Mr. Doctor, Sir. No, that's a lot. But no, I mean, I get it. You know, the kids were raised in the South. Yeah, I mean, your girls used to say that. And and I mean, and my son did too. Yeah. You know, your kids did. And now they don't. But also, I mean, the climate has changed. Well, the climate, because you're in Iowa now. No, I'm talking about the um politically correct climate. Oh, but oh man, I'm telling you. Give me a break. Listen, listen, you can you can think what you want, but when you're out in public and you call somebody sir or ma'am, there's a chance that they're gonna blow up at you. No.
SPEAKER_02No. It never happens. And I've called much younger girls ma'am.
SPEAKER_00And if they did, who cares?
SPEAKER_03And if they did, who cares? I mean, I'm just saying, you know, a lot of people have dropped it because of political correctness.
SPEAKER_02If somebody said to me, hey, don't call me that, I would say, okay, thank you, ma'am.
SPEAKER_03Well, and it's it's it's about misgendering, too. That's what I'm saying, though. It's about misgendering somebody. Listen, I'm not saying I agree with it. I'm saying that this is the climate these kids are raised in, and that's why a lot of them have dropped the Surama. Now in the South, it is different because honestly, they don't give a shit. Yeah, and it is Surama'am, and that's just how it is, or honey, or you know, sweetie or something like that. Some southern crazy.
SPEAKER_02I don't even hear that that much, but we do hear it, and I say it. I mean, I I call the waitresses thanks, hun, or you know, whatever.
SPEAKER_03That gives me the heebie jeebies. No, no, honey, oh Bobby, honey. Oh, honey. I'm your daughter. It's different. But if I have like a co-worker, if I have a co-worker that's calling me like acceptable. So let me tell this story. I got a coworker. I don't even know her. Like, first day I'm working with her, this was years ago. And she goes, Hey there, pretty girl. Can you hand this to me? And I looked at her, I said, Did you just call me a dog? Because that's what I call my dog is pretty girl. And she goes, Oh, sweetie. I'm no, you do you know my name? She goes, I don't know your name. I said, Then why are you calling me pretty girl and honey? I said, First of all, we know you're lying because you call me pretty girl. I said, Second of all, we ain't doing that honey sweetie thing. You're you're in the north, Bobby. You have so much pinup anger.
SPEAKER_02That's why you belch.
unknownOh my god.
SPEAKER_02Because you have all that anger and if somebody called me pretty girl, I'd be happy. I'd be stretting myself. That's right.
SPEAKER_03What's your intentions?
SPEAKER_02Like, what's your intentions when you're thinking she wanted you?
SPEAKER_03No, I'm saying, like, what if she's got six crackheads in a van waiting to kidnap me? I mean, I don't know. Just don't call me pretty girl. That's what I call my dog. Okay, okay. You you have you have a lot of issues here.
SPEAKER_00I wouldn't, how would you have known or she would have known your dog's name is girl?
SPEAKER_03Well, no, I'm saying I call her a pretty girl. I don't call humans. I'm not like, hey there, pretty girl. Who does that? Some people do stop it.
SPEAKER_02Even if you don't like it, you can be kind when you say to stop it.
SPEAKER_00I say girlfriend.
unknownOh my god.
SPEAKER_02And then this coming from a very white man.
SPEAKER_03Wow.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so please and thank you. Please and thank you.
SPEAKER_03Excuse me, yes, ma'am, no ma'am. Okay, what else? Holding
Door Holding And Relationship Courtesy
SPEAKER_03doors. Wait, wait. What?
SPEAKER_02I want to I want to back up here on the please and thank you. So very adamant about that. I am. And you guys are when you're around me. I don't think you are when you're just by yourselves. But when the kids are all with me and we go to order, it's you know, are you ready to order? They say yes, please, I'll have this. Thank you. Yeah, I'm adamant about it with the kids. Absolutely. And I expect you to be. And if somebody, you're right. If somebody holds the door, I don't care if they're male or female, right? I don't care. If I can hold the door for somebody or somebody holds the door for me, of course I'm gonna say thank you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and too many people don't say thank you, and then I do the you're welcome, really loud, but you know, I'm an asshole.
SPEAKER_02So here comes that anger thing again. Maybe anger, I think. You know what? I think we need to do a show on you being an asshole. I mean, I'm good with it. We can.
SPEAKER_03Everybody knows me, but okay, so holding doors, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I think it's polite to hold a door. I do too. And I I think that it doesn't matter whether you're you're holding it for a male or female. You know, most times guys will hold it for you, but I hold the door for guys too. I mean, it's just a comedy. If you get there first, open the door. Exactly. It doesn't make any difference. You should, except for Dr. Domain, I stand at the door waiting for him to come over.
SPEAKER_00She's got me trained.
SPEAKER_02And I that is no lie. Well, I mean, that's different in a relationship. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I think that's ageless. Yeah. But unless you deal with some of these wackos.
SPEAKER_02And I had to give your son that lesson, didn't I? About opening the Nate. I had to give him a lesson. Was I there? Yes, you were there. Was I there?
SPEAKER_03I should have there.
SPEAKER_02He went to get in the back seat of the truck, and I was standing there at the door, and I stood there and I said, You gonna you want to get this door?
SPEAKER_03Dr. Domain, you did not teach him to open the door for an elderly woman?
SPEAKER_02No, easy there. Slow your old man.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Slow your old belt.
SPEAKER_03Well, that's a that's a must in a relationship, though. Honestly, you get the door for me. I mean, unless your arms are full and I gotta get the door for you. I mean, you know, but yeah, get the door for you.
SPEAKER_02I think in a relationship, I I do, and and I will say Dr. Domain is very, very good about it. I mean, we'll get ready to go, and he'll already be out in the garage and the doors open and everything's packed and we're ready to go. So he does that for me, and that is a common courtesy because he cares for me. Right. And there are times I have loaded the car too, that one time. And the one time she did it wrong? Yeah. Yeah. So I want to go back to table manners,
Napkins Salt Pepper And Restaurant Habits
SPEAKER_02though. A couple things that people don't actually know. Do you still use a napkin? Do you put a napkin over your lap when you sit down? Absolutely. Do you, Dr. Domain?
SPEAKER_03That's the first thing I do. I unroll my silverware, put the napkin right on my lap. And have you taught your children that? I hope that I have.
SPEAKER_02I told you it falls on the floor, you know, so you have to kind of tuck it in.
SPEAKER_03Well, that's why I got the little fat roll. I just tuck it right in there. That's what that's for. That's what it's for. You're a utilitarian. Yes. Oh my goodness. Put a fork and a spoon in there, you'll never drop them.
SPEAKER_02Put a pork chop in there, and you'll that's for later. Oh, okay. Dr. Domain, do you put a napkin over your lap every time?
SPEAKER_00Is this a quiz? Because I think this sounded like a quiz.
SPEAKER_02He's gonna get caught. He is.
SPEAKER_00I generally eat it. What do you want me to say?
SPEAKER_02I want you to tell the truth. Do you put it?
SPEAKER_00Tuck it in my collar.
SPEAKER_02You don't tuck it in your collar. What are you doing eating ribs? She thinks humans. Just today. I bring my. I said, Do you have blood on your jacket? And he goes, Oh, that's salsa. From last night. Well, if you allowed him to tuck his napkin in, okay, back to the question.
SPEAKER_00No, I put it in my lap.
SPEAKER_02Do you all the time?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, usually, yeah. And anymore, tables are so small you can't put anything but the plate on your table. And so there's no place to put a napkin. And I just generally wouldn't put a napkin on the table.
SPEAKER_02So sometimes I would, but yeah, as it relates to I and I'm a germaphobe. Um people know that. Some people know that. And so when I unfold my napkin and I have my silverware, I have to have another napkin to set it on the table. Um, and so does Dr. Domain. I mean, but I that I've always been that way. I can't have it touching the table. And uh, but one thing, what if you get up to leave the table? What do you do with your napkin? Put it on your seat. Etiquette says you put it on your seat. How disgusting is that? I think that's very disgusting.
SPEAKER_03Are you sitting there farting the whole time? No, but other people are. Other people are they're sitting on your seat while you're gone and before me. Okay, well, I mean, 90% of places wipe down the seats unless you're at a McDonald's. No, not if they're material and that's not true. Well, okay, material.
SPEAKER_00She's a high roller, she goes to the fancy places where they wipe down the seats.
SPEAKER_02They're wiping down seats. McDonald's I go to maybe. We don't go to any of those. No. But no, I think that's disgusting. But etiquette does say put it on your seat. I always put mine right next to my uh plate on the table. And if I get up and that way it's still clean or still useful.
SPEAKER_03But she won't put the silverware on the table, but she'll put what she's gonna wipe her mouth with on the table. Listen. And then put it back then. Now I have a new machine. Now I have a whole new rule. Yep. Just take the napkin with you.
SPEAKER_00You put it on the seat?
SPEAKER_03No, I'm not gonna put it.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna ask for a new one in your bra.
SPEAKER_02Stick it in your bra.
SPEAKER_00Keeps all the fart in. That way when you come back, we got a little treat.
SPEAKER_02What goes through your mind when we're talking. Seriously, Dr. Domain, what is it that that you're thinking when we're talking about this stuff?
SPEAKER_00It's just a deep dark place.
SPEAKER_03Deep dark place. I'm just as surprised at what comes out of my mouth as you guys are. So there's no prethought.
SPEAKER_02We're all surprised at the prethought. So also at the table, you never separate the salt and pepper. So if I say, please pass me the salt, you grab them both. Why? They're a pair. You never separated them, separate them. And the reason for that is because you don't want your guest or anybody at the table to have to go, where's the pepper? Where's the salt? They're together. So just keep that in mind. Salt and pepper always, always go together.
SPEAKER_03Don't lick the top of the ketchup bottle when you're done. That's something I had to teach my kids. Don't lick, don't lick the top of the ketchup bottle.
SPEAKER_02What did I tell you about the syrup? He said the other day, why don't they bring the big syrup thing to the table anymore? Why do they bring the end of the paper? Because people lick it. And I said, Because people lick it. And he goes, No. And I people lick the salt and pepper shakers. Oh my goodness, yes. Yeah. That's why we don't have those big sugar containers anymore, those sugar pores.
SPEAKER_00Kids. Oh, just adults. Okay, not adults. Weirdos. Weirdos. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Teenagers are funny. Yeah, because you might catch being a crack whore from a salt shaker. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You could walk out of there with a whole different, different outlook on life.
Chewing Slower And Buffet Culture
SPEAKER_02Um, what about chewing with your mouth open?
SPEAKER_03Um, I'm a mouth breather, and I'm gonna put that out there. Always have been. Uh, I do not chew with my mouth open if I can avoid it. Now, if something is burning the holy hell out of my mouth, I might have to do the whole dragon thing. You know, but um no, I don't chew with my mouth open.
SPEAKER_02I think if somebody's chewing with their mouth open, they should be put down like a dog.
unknownCool.
SPEAKER_02And one of the worst things that you've ever heard at two o'clock in the morning is your dog out there licking himself, chomping with his mouth.
SPEAKER_03Now, I will say, you know, I used to I used to smack gum, you know, chew with my mouth open. And when I had children, and I had children in very quick succession for the first three. So they were all within like three years of each other. All of them together. I mean, it sounds like a herd of alpaca getting to the feed trough at the same time. And it just drove me insane. And it was like, is this like a disorder that I just can't handle the sensory thing? No, shut your mouth.
SPEAKER_02I remember one day at Thanksgiving, your youngest came up and sat down at the table and started eating right out of one of the main bowls and used it. Nobody told you to strap on the feedback there, Wilbur. That's not what that's for.
SPEAKER_03I will say she she uses the the mouth chewing as a weapon. So it's weaponized with her because she knows that it annoys her older brother and sister to no end. So she will specifically chew with her mouth open as loud as she can just to annoy them.
SPEAKER_02So let me give you a little bit of information here. One of the reasons why people uh uh have problems with their weight is because we are a society that eats too quickly and we don't put our forks down, we just shovel it in, right? And what happens is people don't chew. They don't chew their food. So how many times should you chew each bite?
SPEAKER_03Like 50 to 100? No.
SPEAKER_02No, that's that's way too much.
SPEAKER_03How would I know?
SPEAKER_0220, 20 times. I don't even care if it's jello. You should be chewing it 20 times. Why? Because it takes 20 minutes for the brain or for the stomach to tell the brain that you're full.
SPEAKER_03Okay, well, I only have 30 minutes for lunch at one point.
SPEAKER_02Okay, well, let me finish here. Let me finish here. It's not your story yet. So, what happens is is people continue to shovel it in. By that time, they've already gone up for seconds and thirds, right? That's what these all you can eat buffets are all about, which I've never really even understood. And so what happens is people are not chewing. You're supposed to chew each bite, put your fork down 20 times. Try that and see if it doesn't, first of all, slow you down, if it doesn't fill you up faster, because that gave your stomach time to tell your brain, hey, slow your roll, hooker. And the other thing is, I want you to watch people when you go to the restaurant next time. Just watch them. No, there are some people, this is no lie.
SPEAKER_00It just disgusts me watching so many swatches.
SPEAKER_02No, I've watched oh well there are a lot of people like that.
SPEAKER_00So we do at this restaurant down the road. Remember, it was not that far from where we lived. It was called the Royal Fork Buffet. Yes, yes, and dad always called it the Royal Porker.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. That's line tell. Yeah. But some people, I want people, I want our listeners really to focus on everybody as they're eating around them. You will notice how many people chew less than three times before they swallow. I watched a family, a whole family. Now, to be honest with you, they were they were tipping the scale pretty high. They didn't take, they swallowed it. It was like everything went in and nobody chewed. And I just I stopped eating because I was so so enthralled with the show. It was like, oh my God, no wonder we are a society of excessively heavy people. Is because guess what? Not only are we shoveling it in, we're talking with our mouth full, Bobby.
SPEAKER_00Well, that that makes a lot of sense now. Because I always wonder. So um, at least here in the United States, you know, we hold our forks and utensils a certain way. Then they do in Europe proper way in yeah, Europe, they're all messed up. But um, but you see some folks, and I've seen it I've seen grown ass adults do this, and they they hold their utensils like a shovel. Like a shovel, and they that way they can shovel in a little bit.
SPEAKER_03I like how you're like, yeah, in Europe they're all fucking we have people who listen in Europe, just so you know. I mean, I eat like that. I was in I was in the UK a lot for work, and so I do that. So okay, so let's go back to the 20, what is it? 20. 20 chews. 20 chews. Okay. Per bite.
SPEAKER_02So you take an all-bite off of the. It's gonna be freaking cold. You know what? Don't take so much then there, porker. Don't take as much. Then why am I paying the all-you-can-eat prize? Don't be going to the all-you-can-eat buffets. Hence my point. That is my point. No one in their right mind should be going to an all-you-can-eat buffet at 30 minutes to eat at lunch.
SPEAKER_03And oh my goodness. If I don't get my sandwich down, I'm a little upset. That's okay.
SPEAKER_00I think you're I think not chewing your food is beneficial. Oh, let me explain why. Okay for for the for the owner of the establishment, what do they want? They want people on butts and seat, they want them eating as quickly as possible, paying their bills as quick as possible, and getting the next set of people down. So if you can say, hey, all you can eat as fast as you want, that really should be that.
SPEAKER_02But if you eat slower, what happens is you eat less, saving that restauranteer money because you're not eating as much as you can.
SPEAKER_00Okay, well, excluding an all you can eat. You only get so much. Eat as fast as you can to get out the door and get the next one.
SPEAKER_02I would just I would just tell our listeners, try it. Really, just try it and see if it doesn't make a difference for you.
SPEAKER_03But I get what I get what Dr. Domain's saying because they don't want them sitting for four hours talking after they've eaten or like, you know, with one bite in their mouth. Oh, then you know that's not good for business. I mean, I get that point.
Double Dipping Teeth Picking Nose Blowing
SPEAKER_02What about double dipping?
SPEAKER_03Okay, I know that this is like you'll cut somebody's hand off. I will, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Or if somebody reaches over to my plate, yeah, I'm done with that.
SPEAKER_03No, you reach over to my plate, it's over. Okay, but you double dip, I'm done. I double dip. Not at your house.
SPEAKER_00But you're talking about community dip, right? You're not talking about individual dip.
SPEAKER_03Well, even if it's you and I. I don't double dip. You guys, okay, that's weird. That's like say that's like saying I would never use I would never use his toothbrush if I forgot mine because that's gross. I know what you're doing with your mouth. Yes, exactly. I don't want to go through my phone after you die because I don't know what pictures I'm gonna put. Oh my gosh. Like, oh, it's between me and my boyfriend. I won't allow him to double dip.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so let's not say that it's your boyfriend or your life. Let's say it's community dip. Yeah, but don't double dip. Don't double dip.
SPEAKER_03Just put it on your plate and then double dip.
SPEAKER_02What about picking your teeth at the table?
SPEAKER_03It depends. I could tell you the grossest story about my dip. And I'm I'm gonna tell you the gross another one too. Oh my god. If I have something that's really hurting, like, like, you know, I mean what if I can't? Chicken bones stuck in my teeth. I mean, you got that porch up, you're gonna get the porch up. Yes. But that's just like blowing your nose in public. Don't blow your nose in public. Go to the freaking bathroom, go outside, blow my nose in public.
SPEAKER_00What if you're on the east or a subway? You can't go anywhere in the middle of your eyes.
SPEAKER_02You're trying to have it at the table, aren't you? No, I'm talking in public, period. Do not blow your nose around me. You must not just roll it on down there.
SPEAKER_03I'd rather you shove the napkin up your nose and go somewhere like Tom and Denver riding on motorcycles in the whatever.
SPEAKER_02This I can't do it. I can't do it.
SPEAKER_03I don't care about blowing my nose, but I it blowing it at the end. I don't want to hear a 45-minute blow session of your boogers into the handkerchief you're gonna stick back in your pocket.
SPEAKER_02I gotta tell everybody this gross story because my my parents are both dead, so God loves them. I can tell these stories now. My dad, they both had false teeth, you know, dentures. Yep. And this is so gross, I can't hardly even say it. But my dad used to take his teeth out in public and clean them. Like with his tongue.
SPEAKER_03I remember that. It was so ungodly.
SPEAKER_02As a kid, it was fascinating, but yeah, I mean, as an adult, it would be really gross. That right there.
SPEAKER_03That's where I got my eating disorder right there.
SPEAKER_02So touching somebody else's food, no, that bothers me a lot.
SPEAKER_03No, don't touch my food. Don't touch my fork, don't touch my food, don't touch my plate.
SPEAKER_02Here's another one that I don't think that everybody knows. Um, when your meals come, you're supposed to wait for everybody at the table to get their meal. Don't start eating.
SPEAKER_03Well, I'm used to that with you because you're like, let us pray. I do, yeah. Um you have to wait for that. I mean, I'm used to that with you. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Because if you start eating and I haven't prayed yet, you get the you get the stink eye and probably I Well then our food is cursed.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It'll be smoking a turd in purgatory because you didn't say your prayer.
SPEAKER_03Those are some deviled eggs, all right.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_03Okay, what else do you have, Bobby? Anything?
Waiting To Eat And Active Listening
SPEAKER_03Um, so active listening is a a basic, you know, manner. What is it? It is Yeah, there we go. It is a basic manner. It is.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I was gonna tell you something. You had mentioned one time when we were talking about communications, how you had to sit next to Corey in order to talk to him because he didn't like straight on. Did you know in a psychologically wealth? Males.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you have to sit next to them rather than facing them because facing them makes you you're a threat.
SPEAKER_02So there's a place up in Wisconsin where his brother lives, and it's like a little man club. Only men go to it. And he was talking, and his brother was telling us about how they go and for the guy's woman haters. It's kind of like well, it's kind of like a man cave, only it's a sh, you know, shed, and everybody kind of brings something and they just sit around talk and whatever. And he said the way the chairs are set up, no one sits across from each other. Right. I did not know that. Um my degrees are in psychology, and get your money back. Get my get your money back. Look where that took me. Yeah, nowhere, nowhere fast.
SPEAKER_03All it took was me having a son to figure that one out.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so isn't that interesting that men, so we as women want the men. Why aren't you looking at me when I'm talking to you? Look at me when I'm talking to you. You know, sit across from me while I'm talking to you. I mean, there's a lot of times when I've heard women say, you know, why can't you look at me when we're talking?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, because it's it's threatening to them. It is, yeah, it is, yeah. So, but I mean, actively listening, you don't have to necessarily be in front of somebody looking them in the eyes. Active listening is more of a conscious effort in order to listen to that person.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and it's engaging.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's showing them that you're engaging that you like you and I are looking right at each other right now. It doesn't mean that we have to be doing this. Right.
SPEAKER_02I could close my eyes. You know, and I'm unless we think you nodded off. Yeah. So well, and I may. Um, but we in c when we were in customer service years ago, we had all this customer service training. And one of the things that since we were on the telephones, we couldn't have like dead space, you know. It was it was not good to have a customer on the other end of the line and there's dead, no no one talking. When we went through training, it was called sweet murmuring. So if you were talking to me, I would go, yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_03That throws me off so bad though.
SPEAKER_02And but it it actually shows them that you're still there.
SPEAKER_03You don't have to do it that often. No, I get it, but they they do that, like, okay, say I'm making an appointment for my doctor, and they say, Okay, what's a good phone number for you? And I start rattling off my phone number, you know, 515, blah, blah. Every mm-hmm. What's your phone number, Bobby? Erica's 515. Obviously, I'm in Iowa, but it's like after I would pause, mm-hmm, okay, that would throw me off. And then I'm like, okay, what's the next number? Like, my brain just freezes. It's like, don't make a sound until I'm done telling you what I'm telling you because it throws me off. So, Dr.
SPEAKER_02Domain, what's something that you think is one of the bad manner things that sticks in your face?
SPEAKER_00This
Hats Indoors Seats And Basic Respect
SPEAKER_00is gonna make me sound really old-fashioned. And you disagree with me on this, I think. I do, I think you do.
SPEAKER_02Well, let's see.
SPEAKER_00Because we've mentioned it before.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00Um, and this is just part of my probably a blend of my age and my training, my upbringing. Uh-huh. Yeah. Um, so uh I generally don't wear a hat indoors. Like you'll notice I go to a restaurant or something like I'll take my cover off before I, you know, once I get through the door.
SPEAKER_02That's a silent generation and a boomer generation thing. And it's a military thing. And it's a military thing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I think it's I think it's kind of generational. You're right. Do you expect women to take their caps off indoors?
SPEAKER_00I think that's that's probably different. Actually, in like um it's it's not uncommon for you know women to have their head covered. Like even in like church services and things like that, they'll wear wear some covering on their head.
SPEAKER_02So I think that for the most part, for that particular type of courtesy um or manner or respect, women are kind of given a to go ahead. To go ahead and wear the hats, don't you?
SPEAKER_03I think I think the the context depends on whether they're I mean, like look in the military, they're not, they're treated just the same as the men, but really like religious head coverings, of course, they're given the pass because they're required to wear those head coverings in indoors and outdoors. Yeah. Um, uh a lot of the men are also given a pass on religious head coverings, though, too. But I think that you know, if you're walking into somebody's home and you're invited in their home, and like let's say you have a cowgirl hat on, take the damn hat off. Take the hat off as soon as you cross that threshold because it's a sign of respect of someone else's home.
SPEAKER_02But how many people are teaching their kids that? And how many, how many younger than us are teaching anybody that? I mean, we kind of know it, but you know, no one's really teaching anybody these things because they go, it's not that big a deal. It's not a manner to me. I don't care that they do that. Let them be them. It isn't about letting people be them, let them be their own person. That's not what it's about. It's about not only respecting somebody else's home, it's about respecting other people, it's about respecting the interaction, and it's about respecting their time.
SPEAKER_00Well, I think if you were to take a snapshot of a crowd like in the 70s, and a snapshot of a crowd, you know, now, I think you would see a lot more individuals, especially men, wearing hats, like baseball hats. That's just really common. It's more common.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Like sometimes I'll I'll just kind of look around and I'll observe a lot of people wearing hats, more so than I've ever seen before. Now there was a period of time when I think it was customary to wear a hat.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know, gentlemen wear hats, and that was different.
SPEAKER_03Like fedoras and stuff.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02What about getting up for someone on the bus or an elderly person or a pregnant woman? Or, you know, if they're not pregnant or they're not elderly or they're not handicapped.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02You know, you can stand as well as I can.
SPEAKER_03And I I've heard some arguments against this, and it's really irritated me to hear it because there are men, there are men out there who say, Well, you know, uh why would I care if she's pregnant? She got herself into that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, see how rude is that. Yes, that's right, that's just rude. And so they lack it does show ignorance and it it lacks common courtesy. And you know, what's it hurt you to do it? It doesn't hurt you to do anything, you know. And you mentioned I, you know, that you you say you're welcome when somebody doesn't say thank you and they open the door. I used to do that, and then I thought, you know, I'm doing I'm opening this door because I want to open it, not because I expect something from someone else.
SPEAKER_03I just do it as a reminder. Hey, maybe say thank you.
SPEAKER_02You know, you're welcome. Yeah, I mean, everyone should be. I don't really say anything anymore. I used to do that too, and now it's kind of like I'm holding the door because I want to.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean, a lot of people just don't have any home training, is the problem. Yeah. I mean, you think that they got, you know, somebody rolled the carpet up and they got sawdust on the floor at home because you know they got bar room brawls as their as their but I honestly I think you know, as soon as your child, even before your child begins to form words, it should be you should be mirroring what you want them to do. So, you know, if they're pointing to something, you say, Oh, please, please, it you're not gonna expect them to say it right away, but eventually when you know they do start talking, it's expected, you know, plate please, right, or say thank you. Yeah, and you're gonna have to remind them a million times by the time they're five years old.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's just what you do. I will say your kids are pretty darn good at it, and maybe because I don't know if I don't think she's gonna say she've got something. I do have something to do with it. You do, you know.
SPEAKER_03Because I I think I've had more of an influence on your kids, but also early on, that was expected of them. I mean, from a very young age, that was expected of them.
Interrupting Speakerphone And Gossip
SPEAKER_02When we talk about social interactions, then what about interrupting other people? How do you feel about that? Does that bother you? Have you ever watched a reality show where they're just yelling on top of each other and it's like who's hearing anything here?
SPEAKER_03I mean, I don't watch a lot of reality just because of that crap, but I I get it. It it in the heat of the moment, if you're having a passionate conversation, I can see it getting out of hand where you know, especially if alcohol's involved, that you're yelling over each other or trying to make a point. Usually if someone starts talking over me, I'll shut up because obviously they're not gonna hear what I'm saying anyway. I'll wait for them to get done and then I'm gonna say, okay, what I was trying to say is yeah, or let me if I could finish my thought.
SPEAKER_02Right. You know, but you're absolutely right. They're thinking about what they're gonna say next. And a lot of people trap you into talking to them, they'll ask you a question, not because they want your answer, it's because they want to talk. Right. And I have said that to people before. I'll say, now, did you just ask me that because you really and truly want to know what I think? Because I don't think you do. I think you're just chomping at the bit here to tell me what you think.
SPEAKER_03Or if they interrupt, I say, I'm sorry that your thought interrupted my sentence. Um yeah. What about somebody who's constantly on the phone? Bobby. That depends. Like, are they talking on the phone? Let's say that they're in a public place on speakerphone.
SPEAKER_00That's my favorite. I love that.
SPEAKER_02I'll get in the conversation. I have too.
SPEAKER_00Because if they don't want it, that's where I can use that phrase. That's what I do. I want people to do it.
SPEAKER_02Dr. Domain has gotten into somebody else's conversation. And uh-huh.
SPEAKER_00And I'd be like, uh-huh-uh-huh. Yeah, see it.
SPEAKER_02What did he do next? Oh my gosh! Hang up right now. Hang up, hang up on him. I would I'd divorce that bastard. Right.
SPEAKER_03If you don't want me hearing both both conversations and getting into it, either get it off speakerphone or talk somewhere else. There was a good reason for phone booths back in the day, right?
SPEAKER_02It was not only for your privacy, but ours. Yes, right? It was for our privacy. What about people who gossip about other people, whether it's you know, unethical or damaging, regardless?
SPEAKER_03My thought about that is if you're gonna shit talk me and you're not gonna do it to my face, then it has no bearing on my life because you know anything that you're going to say that if you're not close enough to say it to my face and be honest with me, I don't care what you say. Go gossip, go flap your gums.
SPEAKER_02Anyone who knows me knows that I I detest somebody talking behind somebody else's back. Right. If if you are my friend and somebody else starts talking about you, I immediately say, Listen, you know what? Why don't you go talk to them about that? Because they're my friend and I really don't want to hear it. And I don't, and I do that quite a bit. And when you girls were growing up, maybe you remember this, Bobby. I used to tell you girls, don't come tell me anything about your sister. You know why?
SPEAKER_03Because the minute you get stitches. No, ended up in digits.
SPEAKER_02That wasn't what we did get a lot of stitches. That wasn't what I was thinking. I was thinking, uh, because I used to tell you that no matter what you tell me when she comes in here, we're both telling her together. And I'm gonna tell her you told me this.
SPEAKER_03And I think that's where I learned to say it to your face. Like I'm gonna say it to your face.
SPEAKER_02If it's that important, say it to their face. If it's not that important, don't say it. Right. And if it doesn't add any value, stop. And if it's not your business to tell, shut up. Yeah, shut it. You know, what's this in my pocket? Oh, it's your nose. I found it in my business. Yeah, I don't I don't need any of that business. Um, what about not cleaning up after yourself? Now, I will say I've gotten on you kids about this because you guys would go into restaurants by the time you got done, it looked like tornado hit that table and underneath the table. And your excuse was, I tip really well. Screw that crap. Those people are there to serve you, not to clean up the floor and everything after. No, I get that.
SPEAKER_03But like at home, you could always see where I was sitting in my bedroom or the living room because the shit was piled around me. Like there's one clean spot where Bobby was sitting, and then everything else is just piled around me. Yeah, no, that's a I think that's a disorder. I should probably get a disability check for that. Should you? I think I should.
SPEAKER_02You should probably get a tag in your car at least. Well, how about how about language? How about that? How about language?
Loud Talk Kids In Restaurants Dogs
SPEAKER_02So if you're out in public, let's say, uh-huh. I'll I'll just use that uh venue. Okay, you're out in public and you're speaking really loud, nothing irritates me worse than that. Oh, I was somebody like cussing. I'm gonna I'm gonna get there. Stand by.
SPEAKER_03Stand by.
SPEAKER_02Um, and you're talking really loud. I have to wonder why do you need that attention? You don't need to yell across the bar, you don't need to yell across the table, you don't need to laugh so loud that says, look at me, look at me. I you don't need to do that. You know, keep to yourself a little bit. And then what happens is, and I had a girlfriend and you knew who she was, we would be in a restaurant and there's kids all around, and she was the loudest person I had ever met, or any of our other friends had met, and she would drop the F bomb all the time. And I remember multiple times I'd go, hey, and I'm not gonna say your name, hey, there's kids over here, and she'd go, I don't give a and it was like, Oh my goodness. You know, you don't you don't need to. No, you don't need to. All that yelling and you know, being loud is is not, and don't get me wrong, I had my years of being loud and obnoxious. Okay. I had my years of being loud and obnoxious and not caring what anybody really thought. Now I look back and I think, wait a second, these people came out to have a nice evening too. They didn't come out to hear your big mouth, they didn't come out to hear your cuss words, they didn't hear come out for any of that business.
SPEAKER_03Keep it down. So, what do you think about these new restaurants that are opening up that are childless restaurants? I think that's a good deal. I think it's wonderful. If I'm going out to a nice restaurant and I leave my kids at home, I don't want to deal with your kids either. Like, I not no disrespect, but I'm gonna go to a specific restaurant that does not allow children if I am child-free. I I don't disagree with you.
SPEAKER_02Now, there'll be people, some of our listeners will go, wait a minute, you know, my kids have every right to be there. Hey, listen, pick another restaurant, pick another restaurant, stay home with that kid. I always I used to say that if we find a really nice restaurant, don't take the kids because they'll ruin that experience. We just did recently. We just did, yeah. And we said, We'll never bring the kids. I took Bobby for her birthday. Yeah, and we looked at each other and we knew that the kids would love this place, but they would ruin it. We both at the same time looked across the table and we said, We're never bringing the kids here. Never because it just ruins your experience. And that's that's you know, some people go, Well, that's terrible for you to say, think about it, won't you?
SPEAKER_03Think about it. I mean, I have good times at bars. That doesn't mean I'm gonna bring my baby to a bar.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, those people are the the same ones that whine about not being able to bring their dog or shit.
SPEAKER_02Their non-service dog.
SPEAKER_00The dog just licked their ass and they want to bring those table that you know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna bring my dog in, and I see you've got a service dog too. And now they're all over each other. Yep. My dogs are assheads.
SPEAKER_03My dogs are fine, they're just gonna eat off my plate and drink out of my wine glass and probably shit on the floor.
SPEAKER_02So, where should where should they not be? Restaurants and grocery stores. Right. Otherwise, to be honest with you, I really don't care. I do care. I do care. But restaurants for sure are not.
SPEAKER_03Well, if you don't have control of your dogs, if your dogs are not trained, do not bring them to a crowded public place with other animals to just see how they act. That's not what we do, people. That's not what we do.
SPEAKER_02No, and my dog wants to go to the farmers market and to the fairs and to the carnivals. No, they don't.
SPEAKER_03I don't want to muzzle my dog. A muzzle is love, okay? Especially if you have a reactive dog or don't know how they're gonna act. No kidding. So Get your shit together.
SPEAKER_02And and I will say this about dogs because I've said it before on one of our shows is a couple of them. Yeah. Leave the dogs at home, folks. I mean, seriously. Because why do people take them? I got the coolest dog, and I want people to notice me with my dog. This is your 15 seconds of fame. That's all it boils down to is you are so narcissistic that you have to take that frickin' dog. I almost said it. You have to take that frickin' dog with you so that you can get some attention. If that's your 15 seconds of fame, folks, look somewhere else.
SPEAKER_03So let me tell you this: the job that I work at that shall not be named, um, I do take individuals out in public, and we went fishing the other day. So we're out fishing. We pull up next to this truck to go out to the fishing dock, and we see this couple that's out there fishing, and we pull up next to their truck. It's obviously their truck, they're the only other ones out there. I look over, there's a bulldog locked in the truck with the windows cracked maybe an inch. I mean, it's like almost 80 degrees out, okay? First of all, the damn dog can't breathe because it's so inbred, they got no nose. And you're sitting out there in the cool breeze in the shade, fishing while you leave your freaking dog in the car. What point is that?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like I don't understand it. I don't understand it.
SPEAKER_03That dog could be relaxing at home. Yeah, and all he's doing is barking in the damn truck. And why don't you have him next to you?
SPEAKER_02And the dogs generate heat too, yeah. It isn't like it's just the ambient air inside the truck or the air outside. It's they are generating their own heat. Well, yeah, yeah. So have some damn manners with your pets, people.
Treating Service Workers Like Humans
SPEAKER_02So one my biggest, I will say one of my biggest ones.
SPEAKER_03Let's go with your biggest, let's go with your biggest one because to finish this up.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we're in one of my biggest ones is treating service people terrible.
SPEAKER_03I've called you out on this. No, you haven't. No, I haven't. I'm I'll tell you'll remember this. So we were in a drive-thru, and you used to do this fake smile thing where you're like, Okay, thank you. And I turned to you and I said, That was the fakest smile and thank you I've ever seen. And you said, What? And I said, Mom, you can tell that that's very fake and it seems condescending that you're talking to him. And you were like, I didn't even realize I was doing it.
SPEAKER_02I think that's different than being rude to a server. But you were, but it was rude, but you just didn't realize it until I had called you out. Yeah, and and you got me on that one. Yeah, yeah. I I'll take I'll take that because I do, you know, I do fake a smile once in a while because I'm not gonna fake a frown. Right.
SPEAKER_03You know, I mean But yeah, service people. I mean, if you can't treat yourself, now let's stay home.
SPEAKER_02Some of those servers are assholes.
SPEAKER_03Are assholes.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and people go I was one of them. And people go, oh, it's nurses day. Nurses are the top, you know, they're the top goats of the world. No, there's some pretty asshole nurses out there every profession. Teachers are the best, they're the best, they should be paid higher than anybody in the world. Uh, I've seen some I remember Miss Cater, the kid hater. You know, there were and I just named a name, but sorry, CDL people, you'll know who we're talking about. They were there were some really bad in every profession. Yeah, so let's not act like y'all got one up on everybody, okay?
SPEAKER_03I mean, but common courtesy goes a long way. You know, if you're out eating and you have a waiter or waitress, you know, you need to realize where the buck stops, okay? They're gonna take your order, they're gonna do their best to take care of you. Either they do or they don't, okay. You know, that you have an option of tipping or leaving the establishment, but there's also things that are out of their control prices, how the kitchen runs, things like that. Right. Don't be an asshole to them about that.
SPEAKER_02But there are some things that are within their control. I have called them out before, right? But you don't have to yell and scream and cuss at no right, not at all. Because we had that situation just we just got back from Wisconsin on a trip, and we were at a really nice restaurant. And when you're paying $40 to $60 for a steak, and then you have to pay for every every side dish also, you want things to be right. I ordered my steak medium rare, he ordered his medium, they both came out well. Oh no, absolutely not. And we were beef producers, so we don't go for that business. And so he said, I'm just gonna eat my. I said, Are you sure? No. The the waitress was right there. I cut into it and I said, Does that look well to you? And she goes, Yeah, it does look well. I'll take it back. She took it back. No problem, no harm, no foul. Right. Comes back. I said, Hold on, cut it open while she was there. It was well again. That's a war crying. That's a third stake, right? That they won't. And what I said very quietly is I said, please don't bring me another one. I said, I'll just eat what I have here. Just please don't bring me another one. And so she ended up taking it off, which rightly so. Right. But you don't have to go, what in the hell's going on back there in that kitchen for crying out aloud and embarrass them? I'm paying $60 for a steak and blah blah blah. Nobody cares.
SPEAKER_03But I mean, people specifically will go out and treat their servers like that just to get a discount or just to feel better about themselves. And y'all just need to stay home and order DoorDash or something.
SPEAKER_02I mean, everybody's talking about how high food is and everything right now. Well, this is your diet plan, and this is your opportunity to save some money, okay? Stay home. Stay home. Spend some time with those kids, teach them some manners.
Closing Thoughts And How To Reach Us
SPEAKER_02But I think that's probably all we have today, Bobby. I think so. So that's all the absurdity, all the insanity, all the craziness that we have before you for today. We hope that you got some tips off of this. Uh, we appreciate you joining us here at the rabbit hole studio. Be sure to follow us. We look forward to spending time with you each week. Please like us. And if you have some positive feedback for us, or if there's a topic you'd like us to talk about, drop us a short email at Boomer and Gen Xer at gmail.com. We would love to hear from you. We don't take hate mail. If you've got some type of uh idea, something we can do better, hey, listen, we're willing to listen. But that's what we have for this week. And until next week, I'm Jane Bird and I'm Bobby Joy. And you're stuck with us.
SPEAKER_03Peace out later.