15. Elton John, The Undertaker & Snopp Dog-ius

Welcome to "Three Word Story," where each episode spins a tale from the unexpected. Join hosts James Royle and Dylan Jacobs as they unravel narratives sparked by three random words from the innovative app what3words. From "Forking.Seaside.Delving" to "Breakfast.Deed.Saxaphone" every episode promises whimsy, mystery, and creativity in just three words. Tune in for improvised adventures that blend imagination with spontaneity, proving that a world of stories can unfold from the most unlikely places. Ready to embark on a journey of words? Let's weave some magic together.

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Chapters

• 22:00 1st Story
• 39:00 2nd Story

Transcript

00:00:00:00 - 00:00:27:07
Unknown
Welcome to three word story. I'm James. I'm Dylan, and this is the podcast where we take three words from the app. What three words and improve the shit out of the story. Today on three word story. What's my best attempt at a Kiwi accent? But anyway, why? Changed. It's because Dylan could not that it's the origin story of Elton John.

00:00:27:09 - 00:00:41:06
Unknown
Snoop Dogg is in snow WP. You're probably thinking James. And now.

00:00:41:08 - 00:01:10:11
Unknown
Oh yeah. Dylan. Oh, here we go. Yes. Welcome to three word story. It's Jay-Z. It's wonderful. It's still faze James and Dylan. How are you this fine Tuesday? It's a Tuesday. Yeah, yeah. Just. We've done. We've done two in quick succession. For the first time ever because we're so inconsistent. We need to buck these up. How have you been?

00:01:10:14 - 00:01:32:02
Unknown
What a fluff have you been up to? Yes. As always, I don't know. I don't think my stories are that interesting, but over the weekend I did a five kilometer road race. Really? Did. And a hat. And how did that go for you? What was your time for the, the listeners out there? It was 25. 17.

00:01:32:04 - 00:02:00:02
Unknown
Which which was kind of under target. Like, I figured if I could just beat or come in under 30 minutes for the five kilometer, I'd be happy, and I did. So now we kind of build on that because I don't know, James potentially end of January, we might just do the Spartan racing. Yeah. Because I've we can barely do A5K, so why not try and attempt to 20 kilometer.

00:02:00:02 - 00:02:21:07
Unknown
Yeah. Just to fuck up some in the joints just for the not. Well congratulations to them for getting up for this one. Because I believe you had a race recently that you completely failed to attend in is entirely. Yes, yes. And how did that go for you? Well, for me, for me, it went great because I slept through the whole thing.

00:02:21:09 - 00:02:44:09
Unknown
I was supposed, as I was supposed to be up at a certain time, and when normally I can feel myself rolling around or like, you know, when you, like when your body's clock wakes you up at a certain time. And normally this is before six, right? For me at least. And that night, that was not the case.

00:02:44:10 - 00:03:10:03
Unknown
I woke up at eight, and I knew because the sun was shining on my face and I was like, yeah, that's not that's not 6:00. That's that's probably around eight, eight, 30 ish. And yes, I behold it was. Yeah. Because I saw pictures and it was one of like the, the highest attended races in Dubai's history. It's like 8% of the population managed to get off their fucking ass and run a race.

00:03:10:05 - 00:03:34:08
Unknown
And you're the one dickhead, and you committed to doing it. You actually trained someone for this event and then just never showed up. Yeah, I know, there's so many people. That was oh, wow, I didn't it must be really enjoying this nice snoozing along in bed. I like to break it to anyone because. Because I didn't want to tell them like, oh, there were so many people.

00:03:34:08 - 00:03:47:09
Unknown
I probably missed you. And then I was like, yeah, you did. Yeah, yeah, I was, I was wearing the green shirt. Yeah. There was like hundreds of thousands of them. Yeah, yeah, I was I was one of the guys in the group something. I totally ran it. So. So what did you do with the rest of your day?

00:03:47:09 - 00:04:08:05
Unknown
Instead of going for a run with over 200,000 people? I slept in even further. Nice. I had myself a breakfast and then proceeded to run a thing. So you were the only dickhead in the city. You was running at a different time. I guarantee you, anyone who wanted to run or runs at all. Yeah, ran them that right.

00:04:08:06 - 00:04:25:09
Unknown
Not one other person in the city is going to go. I'm going to go for a second run or all of a sudden decide to run for the first time ever. So you would have been the only other person who would have run. So there would have been people having their coffees and whatnot watching you and thinking, that prick fell asleep.

00:04:25:11 - 00:04:47:19
Unknown
That prick. That's probably, what, like that? Yeah. So, not so super successful for you, then? Well, I also found out that I was pretty shit at something, and, we did some painting last night, some acrylic paints, and I didn't get again. How many people are actually good at painting, in all honesty, right? So. So, Ali, I'm 100% Anderson.

00:04:47:19 - 00:05:18:19
Unknown
Like, she's quite good at it. But I think for the most part, people are probably she would so the main thing is, is to be good at most things. You have to do them. You have to do them. Yeah, a fair bit. Like you have to get better at them. And I've always just said to myself, well, I'm more autistic than autistic, so I'm just going to have to basically admit that I'm not gonna be able to paint or draw, but I've never really tried that shit.

00:05:18:21 - 00:05:37:20
Unknown
So yeah, there we go. You should play that sound after you just play that song. Because I'm not sure if it's okay. Yeah. That was that was for me being shit. I should have done that for you. Race should then that when it didn't work, really, of me, you can tell that was a last second addition to the board.

00:05:37:20 - 00:05:57:05
Unknown
So yeah. So I went on YouTube, got myself a tutorial and thought, oh, I'll let someone walk my hand through this and essentially it was a good tutorial. You have like the canvas in front of you and you put your little dollops of paint out and it was just like black, white, yellow, red, blue, your primary colors. Right?

00:05:57:07 - 00:06:13:16
Unknown
And it would just show this dude, mix a couple of different colors really quickly put them together and just little mix and then produces a color. I go, I, I'm going to study exactly how he does this. So I went back and forth. When you get to a certain shade of like, how much did he take? Yeah, okay.

00:06:13:18 - 00:06:36:05
Unknown
My fucking color didn't look any. It was like I just taken all of them with shit brown. I know I wanted shit brown to look. It was I, it was a wooded area. Shit Brown would have been fantastic. Wooded area was just a toilet. Anything. Anything would have been better. I've taken that amount. That amount exactly how he was.

00:06:36:07 - 00:06:57:21
Unknown
Why? Why? Like I know the actual painting part is down to skill, I get it. Fair enough. But I can't even fucking mix colors properly. I my color blind was brown and brown. They just mix a load of browns together, just so artistically demented that I can't even get it together to make some fucking colors. Like I'm sure they get The Apprentice to mix the color.

00:06:57:21 - 00:07:28:11
Unknown
I'm sure they get any Old Spice off the fucking shit. What do you get when you mix red and blue? Brown? Me brown? Damn it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So. Well, okay. We've merrily found out that we were both pretty shit at things over the past couple of weeks. Yeah, but then I also feel like running is is a bit more common, I feel, as opposed to painting, like, I mean, anybody that has legs and tries to be somewhat active, they probably run.

00:07:28:11 - 00:07:44:08
Unknown
That's fair, but you can you can just sit on your ass being. I just, you know, I just think people believe that you must be good at it immediately. And if you're not, you're screwed, which is what I believe. But actually what you're supposed to do. Because I'm gonna. I'm gonna either talk, you know, I thought, fuck this.

00:07:44:10 - 00:08:00:06
Unknown
I don't like being bad at things. I, I, James Real will become better at painting. You've heard it here first. And we're going to do that Spartan race together. You heard that second because you already heard that. So you've technically heard that second today. All right. So that's what I'm going to I'm going to paint a fucking picture.

00:08:00:08 - 00:08:19:03
Unknown
And we're going to do a Spartan Race. Yeah I just wanted to say please I do the wall. No, no, this is this is successful fun, you know, or successful fun. Oh, there we go. So that okay, so that's what we can do. So we're going to do the Spartan Race. I'm going to paint a fucking picture. And you're going to be able to get up in the morning, compete.

00:08:19:05 - 00:08:40:20
Unknown
Yeah. Capiche. Yeah. So for this one Dylan we we're going to find a place where you would hide a Horcrux. And for those at home or do you want to place or in the toilet. It's. Yes. Had to have a long discussion with Dylan after the last one to explain that it was not a whore in a difficult position, the crux being something that's hard to do and a whole.

00:08:40:22 - 00:09:06:04
Unknown
As you know, Dylan is the the lady of the night. So I to explain. No, it's not a whore in a difficult position. And where what were you would hide inside her? It was a very painful discussion. And I wish we never had it. So a Horcrux is a Harry Potter magical, thing, I guess, where Lord Voldemort, he cuts his soul into seven plate things like puts him in trinket so he could put them in this monster camp, for example.

00:09:06:06 - 00:09:27:03
Unknown
And he could hide it in your anus, you know, thinking no one will ever go inside Dylan's anus to find it. And then obviously, I would go, look, Lord Voldemort, maybe you can't be certain, right? No one could be certain. So he may do that. He may hide it. There a place where no one ever goes. So then no one can crush his soul and damage his soul.

00:09:27:03 - 00:10:02:14
Unknown
So essentially, the name of the game here. Put it in something and then hide it somewhere. Well, no one will go to destroy a part of your title. Soul. Yes yes, yes. So so, Dylan. Why would you hide your tight little soul? And why? So my my train of thought was, you know what? We're going to hide it in plain sight.

00:10:02:16 - 00:10:11:24
Unknown
No. Shh. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh.

00:10:12:01 - 00:10:35:08
Unknown
Okay. It's telling. So what if I just. You did the opposite where no one can find it. Yeah, it's like that. Put it right in front of that person. No. Okay, I'll let you lead that. See where we you going to go with this way? Okay, so I figured hide it in plain sight. So I'm not going to, pick the deepest trench in the world.

00:10:35:08 - 00:10:59:24
Unknown
I mean, Uranus, you know, as you explain the previous time, the Mariana Trench here. What was that? Challenger. Challenger. Deep. Deep. That was challenger deep. Wow. So, no, it's not quite there, but I figured, you know what? I'm going to hide it in a pebble. Okay, so we're going for a pebble. Going for Pebble. But we are going to place that pebble amongst all the other pebbles.

00:11:00:01 - 00:11:23:07
Unknown
Okay. All right. Fair enough. So I figured let's go to I think it's pronounced chesil beach chesil beach in Chesil beach. Yeah. It's, it's, it's your neck of the woods in the UK is my. I thought it was Chesil beach is of course in I've. It's done. It's Castle beach y Chesil beach. Have you been to the beach.

00:11:23:07 - 00:11:45:08
Unknown
No, but apparently it's got like that stretch of beach. It's like 29 miles of only pebbles. Okay, so you don't know where the fuck it is, but, you know, specifically about, you know. Yes. Well, I know I can actually zoom into it on a map. I just can't remember what Doris said. So Chesil beach in Dorset, England, is one of three major shingle beach structures in Britain.

00:11:45:08 - 00:12:07:22
Unknown
Its name is derived from the word chesil, meaning gravel. Fantastic stuff. So you would go. You would be a pebble in plain sight in Chesil Beach. Yes. Now I'm thinking, many people go to Chesil Beach, go to Dorset, go to those areas. Very sunny, bright kids plain. Sometimes you see a pebble and you think, hey, I want.

00:12:07:22 - 00:12:26:13
Unknown
It'll keep saying yeah, but yes, one of them, if they pick your your solar. I've thought about it, but I mean, as long as it's not Lord Voldemort, then I think I'm good, right? Who knows what. But maybe they accidentally crack the pebble. Maybe they go home and they throw it against the wall for the good. But that's also I.

00:12:26:13 - 00:12:47:01
Unknown
So I heard it can't be damaged. So I read, online that it can't be. Yeah. Can't be damaged. So I figured, well, it's a fucking pebble. So I thought, well, at least the exterior should be hard enough. It's not like I'm picking, glass. Okay. But the other thing would be right. So. Harry, who's trying to find them?

00:12:47:13 - 00:13:12:09
Unknown
Basically, anyone is a, I think, a little bit evil, a little bit, whatever. They can hear it. Oh, shit. So let's just say Lord Voldemort is feeling, you know, like, if I could see Lord Voldemort and James, I'll pick a new location and a new story and a new story. I'm saying, you know, like, if I was going to see Lord Voldemort on Tinder, I can imagine it would be like, enjoys long walks on the beach kind of thing, you know, love slaying children and longer walks on the beach.

00:13:12:09 - 00:13:30:09
Unknown
So Rocky beach, he Nathan just here. You see, I didn't know they could hear them. I just figured, Okay. But then also, what is he going to pick up each one and then kind of just shake them? I would love to see. He knows this man on the beach. Just a pebble. I'm just sticking to it. This.

00:13:30:11 - 00:13:58:09
Unknown
What the fuck is this? As Voldemort said, so Chesil beach. Random pebble. Yeah. In the hope that child doesn't pick it up. Oh, Lord, Voldemort doesn't go for a stroll on the beach. Gets on a date. What three words did it get you, Dylan? Pianist? Yes. Nudge and prefer. This. This is a nice. What? You got that? So pianist.

00:13:58:11 - 00:14:24:21
Unknown
Not pianist or piano. No, not not not penis. Pianist and pianist. Yeah. Pianist and nudge. Prefer. Okay. Tasty. Well, we'll see where that takes us. Maybe take it back to Chesil Beach. Who knows? So, Dylan, my three words now I want you to go remote. I wanted to go really remote. So I didn't necessarily think the, Volvo will be coming to get me.

00:14:24:21 - 00:14:43:02
Unknown
I thought maybe that anyone who has out to get me may want to come get me. So I thought the first point I want to I want it to be remote. And I want like, let's say, if you wanted to come murder my soul in many pieces, then you have pretty shitty passport, right? So it's difficult for you to get places.

00:14:43:02 - 00:14:56:19
Unknown
So it's like a British territory. You may have to then, you know, jump through some hoops. So I thought that's one way. Right? So if you're going to try and murder me, at least I have the time for you to get a visa to sort it out. So that's good. That's one set. So I went to the South Pacific, right?

00:14:56:19 - 00:15:20:05
Unknown
I went first for this cheeky googly and went to some of the most remote places on earth. And I found myself in a little tiny, small cluster of islands called the Pitcairn Islands in the South Pacific. I say South Pacific. I really mean the bulk of nowhere. They are. Absolutely. They're even like. It's like almost like Point Nemo.

00:15:20:11 - 00:15:44:13
Unknown
Yes, yes. Basically. Like if if Fiji would go, these guys are in the. But no, even they'd be like, wow, you'll really go down to the sticks because these guys, there's a couple of different islands. One of them, Pitcairn Island, has a population of 35. So we're talking we're talking small fry. They have a post office. We'd have mail.

00:15:44:15 - 00:16:08:02
Unknown
But no, I could just I mean, you could say that I did scroll down the Wikipedia and there was some there was some unpleasant stories coming from this place of, of, of men doing just not very nice things. Oh, shit. Like what? A bunch of cunts. Like, honestly, you fucking go all the way to South Pacific to do not very nice, pleasant, unpleasant things.

00:16:08:04 - 00:16:32:01
Unknown
Fuck you. Basically. But they got found out, and they're in prison for many, many years. But we'll keep it jovial and light, so pick an island has itself a primary school has itself, a post office. She has 35 people there trying to get more people to come to the island. And what are the incentives? Well, well, I admit, Dylan, I'm now making a connection in my head that it's a bit unfortunate.

00:16:32:01 - 00:16:58:08
Unknown
So the oh fuck this. So some of the crimes have been accused on this island were of, And I don't mind doing unpleasant things to younger people. So on the Pitcairn Island website, it does specifically aimed towards families with young kids. So if you're listing there the Pitcairn tourism board or the Pitcairn up the population, you got to change it, you guys.

00:16:58:08 - 00:17:13:13
Unknown
You've got to clean up your image. Because if I have found that out, it's not looking good for you. And this was life like, you just I mean, I know, and I have to sort that out for them, so, And I'm sure, I'm sure next time I go on to, our, our host website shows where people have listened from.

00:17:13:14 - 00:17:30:08
Unknown
I'm sure I'm going to this in Pitcairn. And they're going to go, yeah, we've got to scrub up our act if we're going to bring people, we got to change that around and just say, you know, maybe, maybe they can look out for some podcasters. Maybe we could do the next pod from, from Pitcairn Island. No. Okay, fine.

00:17:30:10 - 00:17:58:07
Unknown
I'm. No, we're not going to do that. So it's not Pitcairn Island itself. And so it's 35 people. That's. Yeah, it's in Australia. You know that Little Chesil Beach? Yeah. I thought no, 35 people and a couple of these people are pricks, so I don't want to be on that island. All right, but a member of the same cluster of islands is called Henderson Island right now, Henderson Island.

00:17:58:14 - 00:18:20:07
Unknown
I'm just going to show you a quick, quick image there of what Henderson Island looks like. Okay. Yeah. And sweet. It's just an island with trees. Sweet. Yeah. F a we've got nothing else going on other than trees. So it's within seven, like it's 700km away from that island. Yet they're still classes being mates with each other.

00:18:20:07 - 00:18:48:04
Unknown
Oh, wow. Yeah. 700km. Yeah. From that island. So we're talking. That's crazy. The beef, the beef. But fuck out of nowhere, you know, Henderson Island. So that is where I would put my Horcrux. Bang in the center. Bang in the center of that. Now, I didn't actually consider what, what I would. Yeah. What the object would be, but it could just be a tree, I think a landmine.

00:18:48:06 - 00:19:06:05
Unknown
Oh, there we go. It's just I'm just blown to shit. But not. Yeah, not an actual landmine, but just don't check that looks like a landmine that has no coverings. So someone's not someone's going to touch it. They'll be stupid and they will will stay away from that because it's a landmine. I doubt they would think too much while mine was back in the middle of Henderson Island, but who the heck knows?

00:19:06:05 - 00:19:29:10
Unknown
Yeah, so that's why I put it right in the middle of that, right on a landmine. And hopefully no one would touch it because the only people go there. And here's another little sad fact. So it really fucking brought the tone down. Yeah. Yeah. He it is considered one of the most basically it's got one of the most like plastic per area in the world.

00:19:29:21 - 00:19:51:11
Unknown
The plastic makes, it makes its way around the world and just snags itself on Henderson Island. So some lovely people have actually gone out their way to go to the islands to try and clear it up. I mean, that's a lovely thing, but fuck me. Surely there's a better way to spend your time. This island is in the middle of nowhere, Dylan, and they have gone there to pick up plastic.

00:19:51:11 - 00:20:08:14
Unknown
Greedy. Nice. It's just there's there's no there's more important things going on. The other Iceland. Somebody has to be bored. Yeah, I guess, just being like. What? What do you feel like doing today? You know, a Tesco. Oh, let's go litter picking because these guys are from New Zealand and all that. Let's go sky litter picking. Oh.

00:20:08:14 - 00:20:29:02
Unknown
Where do you want to go, Bryan. Oh, fucking Henderson Island. It take us five days to get the Bryan. Are that all right about it? We live in New Zealand. Nothing happens. It's just a bit of fish. Let's just do a bit of fishing. Let's let's let's all the sound to me. Yeah. Okay. That's what I. It was my best attempt at a Kiwi accent.

00:20:29:02 - 00:20:58:06
Unknown
But anyway. Wow. So. All right. Yeah. So I'm on hand to sign. That gives me wine making country wide nomads. Now, know what you're thinking? That seems like many words in one. No winemaking apparent is one word. Countrywide. Apparently, there's another word. A nomads is the third word. That might be confusing in an emergency situation. If you say winemaking country in the gut.

00:20:58:07 - 00:21:27:00
Unknown
Okay, wine making country and then like, we'll pick you up in Buenos Aires like, no, I'm in winemaking countrywide nomads. And then what am I? So if you're listening, what three words may want to think that through winemaking. One word countrywide three words. And so and so so this is just hyphenated. Yeah. So they might and you might end up in wine country, for some kind of a making of kind of fuck this up.

00:21:27:00 - 00:21:56:24
Unknown
Where does this take us. This would take us to near Porking in Bavaria. Let's just says near Porking. So. Okay, so another near. Near someone is. Yeah. So it's not too weird. Would see nearly there. Yes. Nearly there. So that's that's where I ended up in, in Henderson Island. And that's what my words were. So, Dylan, to find out who goes first or who decides who goes first is your favorite game in the whole wide world.

00:21:56:24 - 00:22:19:16
Unknown
What is it again? It would be, Shit's your fucking language, mate. It's technically not. Oh, language. I don't even know where it comes from, but. Ching ching chat. Oh, okay. Okay. I thought it was. I thought it was Afrikaans to begin with, but now it's making me feel like it might be okay. Well, at least it comes from an innocent place and from an innocent.

00:22:19:16 - 00:22:47:22
Unknown
Oh, okay. So, pistol rabbit. Yes. And carrot. Carrot. Yeah, yeah. So carrot beats pistol? Yes. Pistol beats rabbit. Yes. Rabbit beats carrot. Yeah, yeah. And we're going to go 123 go. Because we cannot fucking for the life of let's say those three things in a row right now. So one. So we're going to go 123 go. 123 go.

00:22:48:14 - 00:23:23:21
Unknown
You'll rather eat my carrot. Oh we come to us. All right. So fuck it. Right. So soon it is with your chop down. No. Three. What story? Drop down low. A three word story. Pianist nudge prefer. Now to kind of give a bit of a backstory. This refers to or the story is about a little boy that it's just looking like no.

00:23:23:22 - 00:23:56:01
Unknown
Let me say this little boy, I'm, looking to kind of just, find out what he's good at. That's cool. Right. Okay. Young boy, he's trying to find him, to find himself, find his way. However, his parents also coming from from a from a place of love. Kind of because the boy is fairly small in stature, would like to kind of nudge him into a certain direction just for his own good and for his own safety.

00:23:56:07 - 00:24:11:08
Unknown
Okay, right. But again, kids will be kids and they do whatever they prefer, what they think is right at that particular point. So.

00:24:11:10 - 00:24:37:11
Unknown
The first thing that the parents suggested when he was still fairly young was he should try orators or, I don't want to say public speaking because it's not even even that. I'm not sure if you guys had this at school, but it's basically little, like kids doing monologues or like a, like a debate team kind of thing, like a debate team.

00:24:37:11 - 00:24:58:23
Unknown
But you they don't debate at that age. But basically they've got this little poem that they might do in front of the whole class or the whole school or whatever beat. So it's basically on the stage, and now they've got this little poem that they need to have. They made the poem. Did they find the poem? No. So sometimes the kid writes the poem.

00:24:59:17 - 00:25:25:16
Unknown
And sometimes the parents cheat and write the poem for them. Nice. And then yes. Yes. Okay. So, so, so it's like, is it like an, like an English class kind of thing. Like, so it's actually a, it's actually something that, that I fucking used to do. And I just don't know what you guys call it in like an English or what you would call it in English, because it's a pretty bizarre idea.

00:25:25:21 - 00:25:43:20
Unknown
It's like, okay, so write a poem and then you will kind of perform that little monologue poem in front of the whole school. That's how that works. And then, I mean, that's good. He gets get some confidence out in kids. And it also is a good laugh for the teachers if they completely fuck it up and piss some some.

00:25:43:20 - 00:26:05:05
Unknown
Yes, yes. And this is. And how did it go for you? Oh, no. Did you just say me? How did it go for what is this about you? Is this the little boy, the little Dylan who could shut up? Jess, it's because Dylan could not. So, No, for me, it went, for me and went, all right, ish.

00:26:05:07 - 00:26:26:13
Unknown
It's just I didn't necessarily see the point. Like, I like, you know, honestly, I didn't see the back end of that, of, okay, it's building confidence or, because it wasn't necessarily fun standing in front of people. And then I had blabbering about what was. What was your poem? Come on, let's go. Let's take us back. Take us back to when little Dylan was young on that stage.

00:26:26:13 - 00:26:53:08
Unknown
What did he. What what did he rap about? What was he spitting bars about? All of these poems about a cat and a mat. Yeah. The cat sat on the mat. He would rather have a hat like cat and the hat. That is the rap of the shitty story involving a cat and the mat and not the hat.

00:26:53:10 - 00:27:19:13
Unknown
But yeah. Is that what you know? No, that's like no, no, no, no, that that was the story of this young little boy. But for an all tens of purposes, we'll call him Dylan. That was, No, but with not to to go into this that deeply. But no, it was probably something in the lines of that.

00:27:19:13 - 00:27:50:07
Unknown
But mine was normally in Afrikaans, so it was probably something about. And I think they got the name martini hastening Mazany. It's normally, there's normally just words that rhyme and they don't even kind of make sense, especially not at that age. So yeah. So that's what this that's what the parents wanted for their little child. So they wanted him to do the they would rather have him do that than do wrestling for instance.

00:27:50:08 - 00:28:05:19
Unknown
Okay. All right. Amazing. And then then for wrestling, I mean happy slapping bonfires, setting fire to other children, school shooting the. Yeah. Balloon ballet. Would they have, like, ballet?

00:28:05:21 - 00:28:30:14
Unknown
No no no no no no no no no no no. And I'll tell you why. But this kind of segues into it something else. But anyway, so after that they figured but they also didn't want to choose an activity for their child that could potentially get him into some hot water with the bullies. Because kids are ruthless. Yeah, yeah.

00:28:30:14 - 00:28:59:05
Unknown
They they'll they'll they'll come at you. They'll come at you. So chase was then out of the picture because they figured, Right. Chess not quite being a sport. I mean, people might make fun of him, but it turns out that this particular boy was so bad at chess that the chest team themselves started making fun of him.

00:28:59:10 - 00:29:33:23
Unknown
Oh. So, Yeah. So, needless to say, what a fucking square. He's in a little chess class. Get ripped. You can't do crooked work to Queen five. Oh, what a fucking nerd. Yeah, it was a little troll again. You know, rubbish. So chess didn't work out for this little boy. So the parents kind of reevaluated.

00:29:34:00 - 00:30:01:00
Unknown
Maybe the artistic kind of no contact activities, and they figured, you know what? Let's try and get him into a good sport. Racket sports. Right? Rackets. Right. Badminton. Tennis. Squash, pickleball. But now they just shown up. Yeah, yeah, I know he's just showing off, like, Wow. You really, really, really. You're. Yeah. You're swinging out these racket sports.

00:30:01:00 - 00:30:35:21
Unknown
But needless to say, he was terrible. So do those hand-eye coordination. Absolute. That's probably why you should. Just keep picking up the wrong bit. Night 2050, no. I picked up the Queen again. So. The parents then even considered just as a shot in the dark. Rugby. I figured, okay, he's he's gay, so. Right. He's not smart, he's not coordinated.

00:30:35:21 - 00:31:00:13
Unknown
So let's have this shit kicked out of him. But I figured he he was a snippy, snippy little shit, and he could, maybe he could play scrum of football on the rugby. Nice. For sure. Yeah. Gulp. Shite ones usually do. Yeah. So they've put him kind of behind the bigger guy, so hopefully he's protected. He's not too involved in the game play itself and he can shout shit yes all game and get away with it.

00:31:00:15 - 00:31:17:12
Unknown
You can cheat in the scrum and just pass it to the number eight and just completely get away with it. Which which makes their their mood worse, makes them more like dickheads because they cheat every single fucking game and get away with it. They're the only fuckers who do write you a passcode. I buy what the fucking fuck?

00:31:17:12 - 00:31:40:02
Unknown
But this is this is the you scrums. If I pass the ball a millimeter forward, whistle if I hit to tackle a millimeter high whistle if a hooker throws a liner millimeter, not straight whistle. Those fuckers, they put it in the scrum. And if you if you don't know rugby tough shit. Right. It's a they basically they're meant to put the ball in the middle at least ish.

00:31:40:08 - 00:31:58:23
Unknown
But this it's completely no fucking point Dylan in scrums whatsoever. If you're just going to pass it down all the way to the, to the very back of it, and they just get away with it. And that's why it makes them worse. It makes they feel like they're invincible, like they're above the law. Like, fuck you, referee. I'm going to go like it's a no go, no referee.

00:31:59:01 - 00:32:32:15
Unknown
I know that all the ref is doing this, all that he's doing that because they just get to do what the fuck they want. Fuck them. We go yeah, yeah. So that's that's my tuppence. Yeah. Wow. So standing at nine and feeling very well protected. But the issue was considering he had no coordination, he kept on he kind of giving hospital passes to the rest of the squad and that didn't sit well with them.

00:32:33:06 - 00:33:12:01
Unknown
So needless to say, you can also very quickly turn on your own teammates and kind of overexpose them in, in the showers. In the showers, in certain circumstances. So no, rugby also didn't end up working for him. Now, I forgot to mention that he did have as a brother that he continued continuously wrestled with, so he did enjoy wrestling with his brother watching WWE as most of us did.

00:33:12:07 - 00:33:39:01
Unknown
He was sick. We believe he was just a general young lad. He was. Yeah, he was creative enough. He kind of enjoyed the move. He maybe didn't have the stature for it, but that was always kind of something that, that always interesting that. And then the other part was music. Now, you would think the parents would do that at point number one, but they obviously didn't write the story.

00:33:39:01 - 00:33:58:04
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah. No they didn't. Maybe this will be you in the future as well. And to be fair, if the kid can't do chess, the kid can't do racket sports and shit at rugby. I, I would probably not even brought musical instruments in at any point. I would have been like this kid. I would probably looked into post-natal abortion at that point.

00:33:58:04 - 00:34:15:24
Unknown
And it's a bit like, can we start from scratch? You know, can we is we've got no hope. We've got the brother who I mean, he's not in this story, so I guess he's got something about him. So I would think, you know, maybe send him off to boot camp somewhere, put him in the army where they put all the other ones and just see what happens.

00:34:16:04 - 00:34:47:10
Unknown
See what happens, what happens. So all this. Right. One day, as kind of time goes on, he kind of grows into his personality a bit. His snappy little shortness and, kind of grows up a little bit. But now again, through this process, him and his brother have continued to wrestle. But on this particular day, he's right. They visit.

00:34:47:12 - 00:35:28:07
Unknown
A friend of his mom's house, and she has this beautiful old piano sitting in the lounge. Him and his brothers start playing wrestling and boom! Suplex into the piano. No other out there. That one, right? And on that day are surprised by his own strength and his own technique, being able to whip his brother into the piano. Yeah.

00:35:28:09 - 00:36:02:22
Unknown
On that day, he knew he wanted to become a pro wrestler. Beautiful. That makes total sense. That makes total sense. And from there on, the self-appointed nickname is. He would be called The Pianist. Wow. Now, years later, he did. He did try out for the WWE. He did present them with this name because he then worked at his craft and became quite a kind of, well, well-versed wrestler.

00:36:02:24 - 00:36:38:05
Unknown
But as soon as he mentioned his stage name, the pianist, WWE laughed at him and said, you know what? Let's not go with that because you might just get bullied so well, rather stick with The Undertaker. So, Wolf, shush, let's do magic noise there. And so you're telling me this is the origin story of Kane and then The Undertaker also, because he's the brother as well.

00:36:38:10 - 00:37:05:13
Unknown
Why the parents alive? Because. Well, why they. Because it's very well documented. Died. Yeah. That Kane and the Undertaker's parents died in a in a fire. In a vicious fire. Hence, therefore, they are people of the underworld and pure evil and have crawled through fire, hell and brimstone to eventually just fire. Just wrestling a ring, pretend with some other people, you know?

00:37:05:15 - 00:37:26:06
Unknown
Yes. I'm saying let's take it himself. It's from Death Valley. Everyone knows that the hottest place on earth is germs. I'm sure you get into that. And I'm sure you about to say that the fact that, you know, the parents died in a fire, right? No. Well, you know, I can, I can kind of do a segue and I can say, okay, let's backtrack that story, okay?

00:37:26:07 - 00:37:57:18
Unknown
You know, and on that day, the beautiful old piano sat there and he started playing, and naturally picked up. The the sounds, the rhythm, the melodies of the piano quite easily. And that is the origin story of Elton John.

00:37:57:20 - 00:38:33:19
Unknown
Oh, yeah. It was actually the story of Elton John. I don't know if I could leave it easy. Don't use it, whoever you want. Just plug him in there and, John or the Undertaker, I guess is is what it is saying that such a minor decision when you're growing up in your child, you can either go, undertaker, you go, what we don't call the John, but that's again, it's about nudge from the parents as opposed to the preference of the,

00:38:33:21 - 00:39:12:09
Unknown
Wow, Bill. What what a beautiful message all the way through. It's. Yeah, nudging at the right times, but at the end of day, it's okay. Whether you become an Elton John or an undertaker or Dylan or James, you know, there's many scales to forgiveness. He said to James. Oh, Dylan. Yeah! Hurrah for it, Dylan. Yeah. So, okay, we really we really went through the, the phases, I guess the phases of, of of how a child may or may not become Elton John The Undertaker, or you,

00:39:12:11 - 00:39:27:09
Unknown
I mean, when they were, when you were going to, all the cats sat on the mat and then you had the bats and then. And not a hat. And then I worked my lats, and I bet they would. I bet none of the teachers ever thought that you would be on an audio medium, such as. No, not at all.

00:39:27:11 - 00:39:54:19
Unknown
But, but fuck them. Yeah. Hey, Dylan. Fuck them. Drop it down low. A three word story. The next story, Dylan. Okay. Or the next. Let's. Hey, let's jump right into it. Like that's 256. That's two foot it straight in to winemaking country wide a nomads now and no man, do you see that that that's how it should be.

00:39:54:21 - 00:40:24:15
Unknown
It's not winemaking. Yes country. And then also wide and nomads. No. These are three words. One word winemaking. Two words country wide. And the third word no, Matt. That's. Sorry. That was one word. I made those out of a nomad. No. Zero mats. Nomad. So I thought I honestly, I looked at these words. Dylan. And only one person, Bob Dylan, who's any one person this could possibly be Tyson Fury.

00:40:24:21 - 00:40:52:02
Unknown
Not, sorry, not so much. I don't know why that. Because there's only one person this could truly be. So if you remember, Dylan, a few episodes ago, way back when I started to mold and create this brand new universe, this brand new team of gods and heroes, from the clouds of California. Yes. And we had gods such as Jesus.

00:40:52:04 - 00:41:18:08
Unknown
We had an era, Beyoncé, and we had stylists and Rihanna, and we found out the origin stories of Shakira's and her hips of that divine battle truth. Thank you. Yeah. Can I just shut up? He's got the. He's got this button to. He's just slightly out your reach so you can't get it for when eventually I fuck it.

00:41:18:13 - 00:41:48:10
Unknown
So there was only one person that I could think of. Dylan, when it came to winemaking. When it came to being countrywide, I didn't think just countrywide. I thought internationally. Why? We all know this guy, especially in Georgia. They know these guy, this this specific guy and who is a Nomad digital, viral music, film, television. This guy is everywhere.

00:41:48:12 - 00:42:16:23
Unknown
And of course, I'm speaking about Snoop Dogg. Yes. This is. That's funny. So Snoop Dogg, this is Snoop Dogg. So the reason the I don't think I don't know if I mentioned this, I mentioned this on the other when, when I went to Georgia. Well, well see that. That's why I was confused as well. But anyway, it doesn't take much.

00:42:17:02 - 00:42:38:19
Unknown
I feel like the state of Georgia, not the country Georgia. But no, you did show me the image I showed you. But I don't know if I mentioned. No on the on the the pod out here that we went to Georgia. I say we, not you and me. But we went to Georgia and that was the best piece of graffiti that I've ever seen in my entire life.

00:42:38:23 - 00:43:12:23
Unknown
Yeah. So we're clearly a fan, and I and I believe that they were fan because you've gone out your way to graffiti a wall with Snoop Dog's name. Double P, dodge up double G famously so, but they managed to spell it Snoop Dogg. Is it snow? Double T dogs? They even thought the double they had Snoop Dogg, which will forever stay in my heart as one of the best, pieces of graffiti up there with big up in them.

00:43:12:23 - 00:43:45:24
Unknown
But, with a picture 2D picture of INS and Bad Kingdom Brunel, who was a great inventor and he was, a big, a big guy back in the industrial age of, of British civilization, created Clifton Suspension Bridge steam engines. He was a genius. And someone went out their way to graffiti a wall. Just simply putting big up in Zimbabwe and, and a 2D picture of a guy with an enormously large top hat and a cigar, and I'm like, I like that guy.

00:43:45:24 - 00:44:09:17
Unknown
Yeah, I like you because you're not just being, like, fucked. It's piss all on the wall or, you know, a huge is it actually on a bridge or something? That was just on a wall in my hometown of Weston? Super man. No, because what I imagine then just him. I mean, if it was actually a bridge that was constructed or built, designed whatever by by the, by King, the Brunel himself, then that would be even cooler.

00:44:09:17 - 00:44:30:10
Unknown
Like I would even commissioned someone to do. Yeah, I commissioned that guy. Don't get me. It wasn't quite Banksy, but it was just but idea. But if anything, I like it more that they have just gone to the back of a club in Weston super mare. That's got nothing fucking to do in anything. Yeah. Decided to go big up in Zimbabwe.

00:44:30:12 - 00:44:46:00
Unknown
I'd like no swearing so can't. No, no one can claim that it's offensive or taking the piss out of him. This guy is gone. I need the world to know about my appreciation for the greats. The engineer that is engine by Kingdom Brunel in Weston super mare on the back of this fucking club somewhere I hope is still that.

00:44:46:01 - 00:45:04:15
Unknown
Yeah, I hope it's then taken as a national treasure, you know. And I hope he's kind of Banksy is up there number one. And this guy's probably down at number 4 or 5. Sure. And then internationally, snob Dale guy can be down maybe 9 or 10. But these guys I feel that passion in their work, that artwork has resonated with me and it will stay with me forever.

00:45:05:01 - 00:45:23:06
Unknown
So big up, whoever that graffiti artist was, you know? So maybe I'll do maybe. Fuck it. Maybe I'll go vandalize somewhere around here and just be like, pick up that guy. Why is James 720? I just wanted to pick up the guy that did pick up things about Kingdom Brunel. And what's that? But he did it either.

00:45:23:10 - 00:45:48:10
Unknown
So he did. But he did it. But he he did. As a true graffiti artist. It's so okay. I wanted to add Snoop Doggy to our roster of wonderful California's modern day gods. He is, of course, as Dionysus was in the original Greek gods. He is the god of wine. But modernizing it up a bit. He's also the god of weed.

00:45:48:12 - 00:46:02:02
Unknown
It's okay. Snoop doggy is. Of course. He needs to be the god of wine and the God of wheat. So you're probably thinking, James, no.

00:46:02:04 - 00:46:30:15
Unknown
Wow. Yeah, okay. Got the wrong vibe there. So I thought you were thinking James Cheese. You was one making country wide nomad. What does that got to do with Snoop Dogg as well? Let me tell you, Nomad is a nomad is a musical nomad. Yeah. The guy's a legend. Countrywide, worldwide, even in Georgia, people know about Snoop Dogg.

00:46:30:15 - 00:46:55:13
Unknown
Yeah, some people know about Snoop Dogg. So why winemaking? Well, Dylan, let me tell you, Snoop Dogg has his own wine brand. Not he has his own weed as well, but he has his own wine brand called 19 crimes. And it's a smoky, steamy picture of his face on a bottle, looking very handsome, looking very wonderful. So he has his own wine.

00:46:55:13 - 00:47:18:00
Unknown
So this does all lupine and it's all perfectly fine. So fuck you more than anything. So it's so sad that. And that's that. And that's my story. I mean, I it's I know that, I know that's not a story.

00:47:18:02 - 00:47:52:17
Unknown
So I thought maybe that, that, by now, something more would have, would have, would have come to the story. Why? That is so, look, I mean, I could maybe go into the fact that Snoop Dogg, after Jesus and billionaire, you know, billionaire, they had an argument in place. Yeah. And and maybe, maybe he comes to the party and he's like, hey, guys, you know, why doesn't everyone chill after your argument in that lift for whatever Jesus did have some delicious wine and weed called Snoop Dogg.

00:47:52:17 - 00:48:10:11
Unknown
Yes. Is, of course, the god of wine. We. Maybe I could go down that route. Maybe I could say that at this party he's just out in the background telling people to, you know, like, drop it like it's hot. You know, bitch, please, you know, and maybe just turns up the heating because he just wants to make you sweat at the end of the day.

00:48:10:11 - 00:48:36:24
Unknown
So I could but the so I could probably go down that avenue, and I already have, sir. Dylan, we are in the big party on Mount California. Okay. Yes, I want you. I want you to take the realms of a brand new God. You are going to be Snoop Dogg. Yes. Himself. Okay. And I ain't going to take the realms of the God of gods, Jesus.

00:48:37:01 - 00:48:56:22
Unknown
Now, what you got to know about these particular gods? Okay? These guys have shared the melodies of the world as we know them, and they speak in their song titles. So I need you to have a discussion with me. I want people to feel like they are at the party, you know? I want them to feel like that.

00:48:56:22 - 00:49:22:22
Unknown
They are at the party of God of Gods in California, and that they are amongst the gods talking in the song titles. You get me, you know, we're going to get this soak. Okay? We're at the party. We're having a little dance. Okay, done. So hey, man. Hey, man. Yo, what's up brother? I'm feeling a bit numb. You feel a bit numb?

00:49:22:24 - 00:49:30:02
Unknown
Yeah, man, they you know it. You know, you got to drop it like it's hot.

00:49:30:04 - 00:50:05:09
Unknown
Shit, man, seem like that. You run this town. Oh, yeah. Hey, what's my name, man? That's why I love you. Yeah, you know it. I'm young, wild and free. Oh, yeah. You're forever young. You're still a thing. Oh, man, you're gonna make me go apeshit. Yeah, okay. Favor. Who am I? Yo, Otis, that could have just gone with, Steve, though, but, okay.

00:50:05:09 - 00:50:27:14
Unknown
But, no, no, no worries man. No worries man. Listen, you might, Well, I don't know. I'm going southern, but, Yo, man, mind grabbing me a, gin and juice? Girls, girls, girls. See?

00:50:27:16 - 00:50:57:12
Unknown
That's what we do. Yeah, man. Yeah. Nothing but a sensual seduction. Yeah, well, that's that's a nice public service announcement. You got that bitch, please. Well, you know, we can have a takeover or a Bonnie and Clyde. Maybe a California roll. Oh, man. You know, Big pimpin. Yeah. You know, I smoke weed every day. Oh, man.

00:50:57:14 - 00:51:29:11
Unknown
Snoop Dogg. Yes. I'm so drunk in love with you. Yeah, man, the signs I'm telling you, this is so. This can't be life. Yeah. You know, you know, my dad always used to say, from the church to the palace. I thought you going to tell me the story of a OJ? It's not a song. Oh, yeah, I know, but it's a dog eat dog world.

00:51:29:13 - 00:51:50:10
Unknown
Oh, okay. Well, that's fair enough. Look, I think I've got no church in the wild. Any more is my issue here. But, let's skip to the next episode, okay? All right. Well, I don't want a song cry. I've had a hard knock of life. But I believe it's 444 now, so I think I'm going to take over.

00:51:50:10 - 00:52:00:01
Unknown
Do it my way. Because that's what we do. Beautiful. Thank you. Snoop Dogg is.

00:52:00:03 - 00:52:18:03
Unknown
Oh, shit. Oh, wow. I mean, who you would barely have known that those were song titles because they just went so well and so smoothly all in one go. Like you would never have known that that was that was actually that was actually a live conversation between, us dog and. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, that was it was.

00:52:18:03 - 00:52:38:15
Unknown
Yeah. You could tell by the accent. Yeah. Those were the a mixture of in Georgian and the, the other kind of I got from. Yeah. Neither him like the guy from Tennessee and then he tried to be a bit more hood and then he was like, no one actually not. And then. Yeah. So yeah, it was a lot of it was a lot.

00:52:38:16 - 00:53:03:16
Unknown
Yeah. I think it's I think it's what they call in the automobile industry a car crash. So that's fair that, hey, this happened so we've gone through just a conversation that on on Mount California with delving more now into the roster that we have on and on these these new versions of gods. And who knows, maybe next time we'll have a greater in-depth story.

00:53:03:17 - 00:53:23:16
Unknown
We'll see though. We'll see. Yeah. We don't know. We can't be. I'm I'm I'm actually pretty sure we can go even more in-depth into the conversation we just had. I think we just I honestly enjoyed that conversation. I felt that makes me I it made sense. Okay. We'll listen back to it, let us know. Let us know when the three story is.

00:53:23:16 - 00:53:43:21
Unknown
Three. The fuck it? The three what story at gmail.com. Did that make sense or not? Yes. And and let us know in the comments below. And I'm not fucking speaking to you. That's why I just gave the e-mail address. Yeah. Dylan, why are you fucking email me? Big deal at 69 RT.com. Fuck sake. So what we doing next time?

00:53:43:23 - 00:54:06:24
Unknown
What are we on now? It's beginning of November. This will be probably. No, it's fucking December. She wins. Next one's going to have to be Christmas special. Christmas special? What are we doing? What we find in. I don't know, are we doing something for the Christmas Eve? Where would you have the elves do certain things?

00:54:07:01 - 00:54:33:08
Unknown
Yes, but do you mean that before you push the button, that's a winner. Oh, what is it? Why is it not working? Oh, fuck. We haven't been recording for the last half an hour, so. Yes. So, Dylan, you would like the next box to be where you. Why would you. Let's do. No, I didn't say that. Nobody. No no no no, I would go to Pitcairn Islands.

00:54:33:10 - 00:55:08:08
Unknown
Oh, oh oh, my words are winemaking. It's. Countrywide and Nomad. So. Yeah. Right. So let's try that one I again. All right okay. So let's let's say global warming kicked in. North poles fucked. Yes. Start to sing. Well, we moving the operations. Exactly. Yeah. So we need to think about where are you going to get away with it.

00:55:08:10 - 00:55:25:18
Unknown
Okay. What kind of climate is going to be suitable enough for your elves so you can touch them up? You know where it can be super secret? Where you can take off from, distribution. Yes. And bearing in mind you can't just go to the South Pole now, I'm just going to fucking get that. Oh, yeah, that's melted too.

00:55:25:19 - 00:55:46:20
Unknown
So don't spill fun. Go to the South. It's like, you see, we've got a thing where where is good distribution center. So you know, like DPD or Fedex, they need to be in good places to get around transport links. Maybe I'll let us decide. So we're gonna have to think for, a Christmas special. Oh. We don't have a jingle for that.

00:55:46:21 - 00:56:08:11
Unknown
Oh, yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry about that. One more time. One more time. The next week on our Christmas special. Fuck. I've really fucked this a hard riff. Come on, hard riff. Hey. Oh, there we go. It's been playing out. I mean, this week. There we go. All right. Fuck me. See you next week for, Ho ho. Holy shit.

00:56:08:11 - 00:56:23:10
Unknown
Hopefully we get it better next week. Christmas special and last Zealand. No. Drop it down low three. What story? Oh, drop it down low. What? Three word. Story.