Three Word Story
Welcome to "Three Word Story," where each episode improvises a tale from the unknown. Join hosts James Royle and Dylan Jacobs as they stumble through narratives sparked by three random words generated from the map app what3words thethreewordstory@gmail.com
Three Word Story
19. River Of Judgement & Black gang Chine (Theme parks)
Welcome to a whimsical ride through the future of theme parks! In this captivating episode, we're delving into the magical realm of imagination to share our ideas for the ultimate amusement park. Together we explore the connections between our personalities and our park visions, revealing how deeply personal experiences can inspire thrilling attractions.
Join us as we dream up eccentric ideas for rides that blend education with entertainment, taking inspiration from historical landmarks like the pyramids of Egypt and weaving in playful storytelling. Picture roller coasters that swing through the ancient lands, amusement zones named after our most treasured experiences, and interactive sections where laughter reigns supreme. You'll hear us bounce around concepts that spark joy, older rides given modern twists, and how each adventure can educate while thrilling guests.
Expect a whirlwind of banter, humour, and creative energy as we tackle a range of potential attractions, from the whimsical to the thought-provoking. We believe that the park of the future should also tie back to its surroundings—using the past as a canvas to express the wonders of our imaginations. By the end, we're leaving you with the magic of creativity, beckoning you to think about what your dream theme park would look like. So buckle up, and prepare to journey into a world where anything is possible! Don’t forget to share your thoughts and ideas after you listen!
Thank's for listening, Tune in next week for another episode!
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Welcome to Three Word Story. I'm James.
Speaker 2:I'm Dylan.
Speaker 1:And this is the podcast where we take three words from the app what three words? And improv the shit out of a story.
Speaker 2:Today on Three Word Story. We just sell people their own sweat bags.
Speaker 1:Yes, dylan To the following people yes, we do we Black Gang Shine? So what happens on the River of Judgment?
Speaker 2:They go on the river, okay, and they get judged.
Speaker 3:And now I probably should tell you how that links to my three words.
Speaker 2:I'll just start profusely sweating.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, dylan, oh yeah. Three-word story Back in the house. Woo, oh shit, that's what I wanted. Bam Dylan, baby boy, how are you today?
Speaker 2:And you went for that one Baby boy. Stand up, show me your diapers.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's the hair. Maybe it's the hair today, who knows? Tune into youtube, by the way, first, first little plug of the episode, uh, to find out what I mean by by dylan's hair, uh, and what he actually looks like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is, this is my real hair, but to show you that I'm not a baby and he has a pipe he's puffing away beautiful.
Speaker 1:Well, dylan, um, my not so baby boy again, complete regret. I don't know why I said that I just went in too hot with that, I guess. Yeah, um, we're caffeinating hard, so maybe we just went went too far. So let's take it back a notch, let's take it slow into this today's three-word story. Dylan, please tell the ladies and gentlemen at home how are you and why?
Speaker 2:and why? Uh, yeah, james, I'm good.
Speaker 1:I just recently uh found a new apartment congratulations, where was it very much sports city oh, nice, nice and uh, how many sports are you doing there regularly? Do you have to play tennis?
Speaker 2:uh, actually, I have now taken a paddle uh ping pong and tennis.
Speaker 1:I'm sticking to the uh the racket sport okay, and is it tai ping pong or table tennis?
Speaker 2:typing sounds like somebody I know. Not typing like tai ping. No, I mean like typing, typing as someone's name.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you probably do that with typing yeah to be fair, but yeah, so is it table tennis, or you, or are you?
Speaker 2:no, no, that's one of our languages back up I just love how we keep on kind of crossing barriers being like what the fuck are we talking about? Are we talking about typing? Are we talking about.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Now you've added a language into the mix, sorry so. The sports you've been playing, yes, but not so playing, but you've moved into a lovely place for yourself. How is it?
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah, it's very, very uh um private oh, ladies and gentlemen, he's a bright bicep is bulging as he says that very sad well, congratulations, congratulations on your new home. Hopefully that it will allow you to uh to maybe put some inspiration in today's story, uh, because today's story, uh, that we're going to be finding for ourselves is based on where we would put a theme park based on ourselves, right, is that kind?
Speaker 2:of the avenue you've gone down. Yeah, what I kind of reckon is is it wasn't based on traits of myself or necessary, but things that I would find interesting, or an interesting concept theme park that I then kind of decide, like, if I had to open one that makes sense and makes money, yeah, why not? This would kind of be something that I go towards.
Speaker 1:So not including I mean I don't know which one yours is, or where yours is in the world, or whether it's somewhere you've been or not what has been your best ever's somewhere you've been or not. What has been your best ever theme park you've been to?
Speaker 2:and why I haven't been too many, too too many. No, because I actually uh steer clear of them the shit yeah, and why do you stay clear of them, dylan?
Speaker 1:you're afraid because I'm in your pants no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2:Those are well, yes probably but, okay, um no, I'm terrified of heights, james I I really any situation that that involves theme parks or heights I actively try and move away.
Speaker 1:That involves theme parks or heights, or like what happens theme parks or heights.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's you can have.
Speaker 1:Let me give you an example.
Speaker 2:Okay, I went to uh okay, okay.
Speaker 1:I went to lego land in windsor in england, right, and as a kid I loved lego right, putting those blocks together. Oh, baby, come at me with some creativity. I loved lego right and this theme park is very flat because it's lego. You can only build lego so high right, so not really any high roller coasters. Now, the very disappointing thing of lego land it's just for kids, and I wasn't a kid, I was probably in my early 20s.
Speaker 1:You knew this before going to lego, hey I mean lego's been around for a long time, dylan. I thought maybe. I just thought maybe there would be something for the broader market. Yeah, I was wrong, dylan. I was very wrong, it was all for kids.
Speaker 2:That sounds more my speed. Yeah, yeah, exactly yeah.
Speaker 1:Just shame. You're not allowed to go anywhere within 100 feet of a place like that anymore, dylan, so that's sad for you.
Speaker 2:Why is it sad? I'm joking.
Speaker 1:I'm obviously I'm joking. Yeah, I'm joking, I'm joking. Dylan, you can go near any child you want to, uh, within reason. So basically we went there and they have, like this large, like model village of the world made a lego, right? Um, I guess if you're five then it seems massive, right? Because you're like you're low down, you're like, wow, look at big ben, wow, look at the eiffel tower. When you're like you're low down, you're like, look at big ben, look at the eiffel tower. When you're six foot tall, it looks shit. It looks shit and it looks faded and that was basically like the main part of what you could enjoy in lego land. So instead I just ended up going drunk and getting drunk somewhere else. So that was lego land for me. But that could be that kind of theme park, right? So it doesn't necessarily have to be like roller coasters and whatever.
Speaker 2:It could be extreme disappointment or it could actually just be enough, like in terms of my uh, my adrenaline scope if you call it yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, I can't believe it that that just looks like london oh, I can't believe it.
Speaker 2:No, but if you know you get uncomfortable at certain heights or at certain speeds, then you can kind of keep an ad bay by just sitting flat on the ground, and that's about it. The speed I can probably do a bit more. But yeah, the heights thing, no, just freaks me out.
Speaker 1:So it doesn't do it for you. Okay, so you want to feet in and around? Maybe lego land that would help you? Okay, well, lego land isn't my place. So where in the world have you put your theme park, and why?
Speaker 2:I put mine in egypt, cairo specifically, of course, and then, if you link the three words to that, that would then be helpfully, helpfully, helpfully.
Speaker 1:I didn't know that was a word, though okay, like helpful, but you can do something helpfully. You can fill up the help if you helpfully. Yeah, yeah, okay so we've got helpfully is word number one Screech. Yeah, that wasn't a soundboard, by the way. That was me, for everyone at home Screech.
Speaker 2:and what was my third word?
Speaker 1:What was your third word? Come on, dylan, come on, take it to the bridge. Roller coaster, flat Mountains, pyramid, the River Nile, levels the river Nile, ooh, levels, levels, okay, right, so helpful, helpfully. Screech levels, okay. Uh, anything you want to divulge on this place in Egypt, or is this going to link to what you have to?
Speaker 2:tell us today. I think I'll try and incorporate everything into the story and kind of yeah, I'll give, give like a preamble, how I got into where, okay, where you, how you got lost in egypt where you may find yourself.
Speaker 1:Um, I hope it's fenced off. I kind of went down a little rabbit hole on tiktok the other day of scammers in egypt, and which they are rife. So for those who don't know, like I've not been there, but I have had some friends who have gone to like the great pyramids right just outside cairo or giza or wherever it is, yeah and uh, when you look at them they look phenomenal and fantastic, right like wow, look at them out in the desert and the sphinx is there and everything, when actually in reality it's two inches away from the actual city. Yeah, yeah, it's like, yeah, it looks like a mess, right. And then all around it is people just trying to scam, scam and scam, scam, scam, scam, scam and scam. One after the other, and there's like fake police officers there. There's people saying like come with me, give us your documents. So if you go to the pyramids, beware. So you know, public service announcement. If that shit's all over your story, I apologize, I didn't mean to, unless it was just going to be a public service announcement of looking after yourself in egypt.
Speaker 1:I don't know, dylan. So where am I going to put my theme park, I hear you say in your mind, yes, well, dylan, I'm going to put my theme park and I'm going to talk about this even more in my story. But I'm going to give you a little bit of history about this place first. I'm going to really paint the picture for you and those at home. I'm taking you, dylan, to the isle of white. Do you know the isle of white, dylan? No good, the isle of white is the southernmost tip of the british isles.
Speaker 1:It is this lovely, lovely little island or isle just off the south of England, like where Southampton is, and it just sits there by itself. There ain't much going on in Isle of Wight, to be honest, but that's what makes it such a beautiful place, a place of virtue and humbleness, and that is where I want to put my thing, because I am virtuous and so very humble, dylan. I am so fucking humble and fantastic yeah, all at the same time he almost worked it in there like those are your, your words.
Speaker 2:Uh, I couldn't be farther. No, actually not even.
Speaker 1:I did not think that far ahead. In fact, I didn't think any part ahead. Um, I don't know what I was doing there. I was just riffing, you know, riffing. I don't have the anymore, but I only have four things on this number, so thank fuck for that, sad for me.
Speaker 1:So I'm taking you to the Isle of Wight, dylan, specifically. Specifically, I'm taking you to the lovely hamlet of Black Gang. Okay, I'm taking you to Black Gang and within Black Gang, and I can see, I can see your brow furrowing. I'm taking you to Black Gang and within Black Gang, and I can see, I can see your brow furrowing, I can see the deep intake of breath, and you're thinking, james, you are going down an avenue which will cease this podcast forever. Well, let me tell you, dylan Actually I will think you'll find that Black Gang is named after the black mineral that was found in the rocks at Black Gang, and so it's, black is what is in the mountain, and gang is the pathways that sailors used to use to get up into the hamlet.
Speaker 1:That's where the term Black Gang comes from, and nowhere else. Nowhere else, dylan, it's to do with rock and paths. Repeat after me it's about rocks and paths. Okay, so we're going to black gang, and in black gang is a beautiful, wonderful ready-made theme park called black gang chine. Baby black gang chine. I can see black gang chine, black gang chine mean though.
Speaker 1:So chine Means a coastal ravine, so it's like it's right on the sea and then there's a ravine that breaks into the rock, and that is what you call a chine. So black it's the colour of the minerals in the rock Gang, it's the gangways of the paths, and chine Is this coastal ravine. My goodness, none of that has got anything to do with anything else other than the things that I just said. You can google it, you can come at me, but that is that okay, I seem paranoid about this.
Speaker 1:I'm not paranoid, dylan. No, I'm existing. I believe in my facts. I've done some thorough research. I've been there. I didn't. I have been to black gang, china. This is why I'm bringing my theme park to it, because it is it's the oldest. It is the oldest theme park in the whole of the united kingdom. It was the very first, the very first one. Basically, it was founded by a gentleman, uh, his name was alexander, and he visited black gang as a child during victorian times, in 1842 1842, dylan, so it's fucking old. And he went there. And he went Papa, I will buy this land one day and I will set myself up an amusement park. And well, alexander did just that. He went back, made himself some money and he came back to lease the land. Okay and dear, alexander had a bet with the landlord of the land, the Lord of the land, the lord of the land, he said I will lease this land as far as I can throw the stone.
Speaker 1:And Alexander knew that he could fling a stone if he wanted to and got himself a big old lease of land, because that man can throw a stone. And that is how Black Gang Chime was originally established. He was like hey, heck, nay, I shall make myself a theme park for the Victorians. So how did he start? There was a whale that washed up on Black Gang Chime.
Speaker 2:Okay, and the locals. This is a story that just, I mean, keeps on giving. It really does, honestly.
Speaker 1:I'm hoping that after this there'll be an enormous influx of Black Gang Chime, because it's a place that's very dear to my heart. A whale washed up onto the sea and the Victorians, they took the blubber and, dear Alexander, he said, ha, this shall be one of my first amusements. And he painted the bones and he took them to the black gang chine. And they are still there to this day. Those whale bones are in black gang chine.
Speaker 1:You could get yourself on a flight right now and go all the way down to the isle of wight and you can go wow, that man that threw that stone and brought those bones over here. They are still here. So what a man, what a man. So you've got the oldest and you've got the oldest theme park in the whole of the uk and, in my opinion, one of the one of the humblest. Yeah, so it's got a history of. You know, there's a bit of smuggling happened around there. Not really much else, to be honest. As I said, there's not really much going on on the isle of wight, so the layout of this theme park is, I guess you would call it, erratic. So you go from, say, cowboy land and you wind up in fairy land and then you get into this district that is, you're not allowed in.
Speaker 1:Then you have a maze, then you have a castle and amongst many things. So I guess you could maybe surmise it as a slight bit of a of a cluster f, but in a good way, dylan, in a way that is humble, in a way that is beautiful. There's a lot of stationary things there. There's a few like plastic dinosaurs, I think. Limited rides. You would love it, because I'm pretty certain nothing is that high. You would love black gang chine again, dylan, you would love black gang chai. So that is where I'm going to base my story now. The three words that it gives me, dylan, is plan, greed and rekindle. Okay, so later on the story I'm going to go deeper into black gang chai and I'm going to give you my plan for it and how we can be greedy and take more. That is what's coming up, oh shit.
Speaker 1:Now, naturally, we need to decide who takes the first story today. And we're going to go back to sorry, we're going to go back to rock paper scissors. Okay, because that's that's the safe one. Okay, that's the safe way to go. Or we can go gun carrot. Let's just do rock paper now. Look, now it's on youtube. I want to bring it out to the world, not whatever you called it before, because I don't like that name, but yeah, gun, carrot and hole what was the other one?
Speaker 1:just the carrot and the hole and you were like just the carrot. What was the third one?
Speaker 2:come on so, uh, this is bunny bunny. No, so rabbit carrot gun. Okay, and how?
Speaker 1:do you do the rabbit again? What's? The yeah, so that so do the peace sign, so do. The peace sign is rabbit, the gun, the gun and then the carrot, and for everyone at home, especially on YouTube, explain to the grand audience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so basically you've got your gun. Naturally, you put the carrot in into the barrel and the gun no longer works that's how they famously stopped world war ii. Yes, a great supply of carrots, it was fantastic I just watched bugs bunny do it once and it fucking blew up in.
Speaker 1:Uh, the hunter's face in elmer thud's face, you know, and that's how Bugs Bunny does it. Okay, so carrot beats gun Gun, I guess. Beats Beats the rabbit, beats the rabbit and the rabbit, yep obviously Noms on that carrot.
Speaker 2:Okay, so we have it all the way around. So Right, pistol. Okay, so no, I put my carrot there Like you just put up your pistol.
Speaker 1:So was like yeah, okay, so dylan goes first. There we go, we have it.
Speaker 3:No, that's not drop it down low.
Speaker 2:Three word story all right, okay, shit, bamboozled myself over there um drop it down low.
Speaker 1:Three word story yeah, so I said egypt I heard that you did say that, yeah, right specifically the pyramids of giza.
Speaker 2:And uh, it's not like I've got. I've never been there before, don't know what it's like, but I felt like you know what, it would be cool to have this historic theme and I thought, ah, okay, well, let's go. I mean, where shall I make the theme park? Should be the coliseum? Should it be um? Should be ancient egypt? Can we go up north? I don't know. But yeah, I figured, let me, let me play around with the, with the pyramids. So you went, pyramids or coliseum so you embodied yourself.
Speaker 1:yeah, you thought right, I, I me, dylan. You sat there, you crossed your legs, you did the old peace signs and you go, hmm, and you channel your inner self, where depicts me more than anything, and you instantly went to Pyramids of Giza and Colosseum. Wow, wow, dylan.
Speaker 2:That's a great way to see yourself. Yalla, let's go. Okay, so then?
Speaker 1:you decided to go to the Great Pyramids because that embodies you more than anywhere in the world. Is what you're saying? No?
Speaker 2:but I thought it might be a good selling point, Like it's the pyramids. So I figured the grandeur of the pyramids was like okay sure, let's use that, because it's kind of the biggest ancient thing, because I did want to incorporate history into it, like the biggest ancient thing, that I did want to incorporate history into it, like the biggest ancient thing, uh, that I could create buzz around and then why not make roller coasters going, uh, going around it, the things you hate so much?
Speaker 1:but I mean you're painting the image in my mind that hopefully you will develop and flick your imaginary paintbrush all over the place and I can see it and it sounds fantastic and I like the slogan already it's the pyramid.
Speaker 2:It's the pyramid, you shrugging next to the hey, listen, if, if people can make an advertisement of got milk, that is true, and just kind of the same with the pyramids. Considering it has been around for thousands of years, why not the pyramids?
Speaker 1:And where do you stand on how they were made, Dylan?
Speaker 2:Was it aliens?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:Okay, good, now moving on.
Speaker 1:Okay. So yeah, it was the aliens Moving on, because I don't want to speak about who else may have built it, so I'm going to stick with aliens, right? You were like oh, it's the Mayans, yeah, it could have been. They could have flown over with their calendar, which was wrong, by the way.
Speaker 2:Mayans, yeah, 2012 yeah, one of the best years of my life, yeah was it what happened? What happened? Oh no, right, anyway, dylan.
Speaker 1:Yeah sorry drop it down low. Three word story what happened? What's your three words? What's your story words? What's your story Coming at?
Speaker 2:you, marge. So Anubis Kingdom Deep in the heart of Egypt and I will slightly read off this as I'm ill-prepared that's okay but where golden sands stretch endlessly and the whispers of the past linger you have definitely read that.
Speaker 1:To be honest, dylan, you didn't have to say that. You were reading that as soon as those words came out your mouth I was like that guy is reading, but anyway, sorry, dylan.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, you know, what is impressive is the fact that I could read that well yeah, honestly, I am gobsmacked.
Speaker 1:When you turned up with a laptop for the first time, I was like the guy can read and type, and type.
Speaker 2:But now, okay, sorry, right. So this is not any theme park, right? This is kind of to help preserve the ancient I don't want to say culture of the Egyptians. I think you could say that I then wanted to say that every ticket purchased 30% of its price. I don't know what the price of those tickets are. I haven't gone that far but you have the percentage.
Speaker 1:I have the percentage yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:We'll go to local charities In aiding communities In and around Cairo.
Speaker 1:Wow, the virtue signaling is amazing White privilege saving everyone else again. Thank you very much, dylan. So there we go. You're not on the campaign trail, by the way. You don't have to be giving anything to anyone in this imaginary land. But hey look, this is part of your value and if we know anything about you, dylan, you will take a piece of pizza off a homeless person, and this translates to this theme park.
Speaker 2:Just to show that I do care about that connection, not necessarily just about the food.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you'll take off a homeless man because of the connection.
Speaker 2:So about the food? But yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll take off a homeless man. Because of the connection, because of the kind of so annibus kingdom, I figured, all right, we'll do a bunch of rides and there might be a, a section for people and um, no, not kids, but where the um? I should finish a sentence quickly. Yeah, you really should. Why?
Speaker 1:are you sweating so much?
Speaker 2:But no, where people who are scared of heights they can chill around. It's called the bar.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, and that's where you are.
Speaker 2:Okay, annabas Kingdom? Not for the faint of heart. Every ride, every corridor? No, actually, I'm not even going to read this. So I figured let me do rides, something fast, fast and flat, and let's call it the Curse of the Pharaohs. Then we'll go for the River of Judgment. I figured, some scary themed, scary themed.
Speaker 1:Okay, River of Judgment. So what happens on the river of judgment?
Speaker 2:um, they go on the river, okay, and they get judged so are they like?
Speaker 1:so I I imagine like the river is kind of sunk into the ground a bit and then there's like people like up on the top of the walls.
Speaker 3:Yes, and they're just pointing down to you like that looks like a baby.
Speaker 1:Look at his hair that man looks like he can't be near kids. You know all of that above you smell yeah, not from yeah and, like I guess, because obviously I imagine this to be like an international kind of park, will there be like all different languages just kind of hurtling abuse at you, or is it just all going to be in english?
Speaker 2:no, would you like international judgment? Yeah, international. So there'll be just some, like you know, world class africans going you know whatever an african slander is, and then some kind of chinese slander, but I figured kind of like maybe, uh, maybe a lazy river type feel, but with the, the eerie element of judgment, and scariness, and scaring and scariness, how do you? Provide the scary um, you know what?
Speaker 2:there's always a mummy involved somewhere okay, the mummy and I think the fact that you are those are tombs and that's obviously linked to the dead and spirits of the dead. So no, I think, by default, you've got, you've got the history over there, you've got the scariness of the dead, or the potential of the rise.
Speaker 1:Yes, okay.
Speaker 2:Right, and the fact that it actually happened there where you are now at. So no, I think it's um, I think it's actually a pretty cool combination of things that uh come together okay and does this.
Speaker 1:So your theme park is? Is you're really focusing on the location. This isn't kind of an inner working of how you see yourself no being judged, all right.
Speaker 3:I thought this was getting like slightly dark and a bit like this is the river of judgment and people say that I suck and I can't speak properly and I have an R all the time.
Speaker 1:What?
Speaker 2:do you mean I can't speak properly?
Speaker 3:No, this is not you.
Speaker 1:This is just an example of what someone would be like this has got nothing to do with you. You know like nothing at all. My English is not that good.
Speaker 2:all the time it does come out when I'm drunk, though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we know, we know, we know they don't know, we know that's true, invite them, invite the people at home to a drink with Dylan. You can find out Once he's had a tequila or two.
Speaker 2:And then some maze element.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Amazing, like a walkthrough experience, and if the walls can shift, maybe something I'm pretty sure I can't remember in Harry Potter. That's funny, thank you. No, not Harry Potter, indiana Jones Okay, indiana Jones, shifting walls, a maze, and yeah, I think that would be a pretty cool ride, or kind of like the the fourth, harry potter, the goblet of fire, the third, I think the third test.
Speaker 1:They go into that magical maze where, like everything heals over, things try and reach out and grab you. Sometimes you get a little bit enchanted, does that not do it for you? Yeah? I think that does it for you okay, so you would you want a difficult maze, or would you like a nice, like easy one?
Speaker 2:around. No, no, no, I think people what I thought about and this is maybe just going too deep into this and I should probably get to my story oh shit, we're not even on your story.
Speaker 2:Oh well, it's my story, okay, fucking hell okay, but it's it's more convovo story, obviously Okay, but no, I would really like it to be a bit more challenging, what I figured I'd do, but then people like myself might not make it to the end of the park Like I wanted it to start at one point, right, and then it kind of goes increasingly more difficult or scary. Okay, and then you kind of get the full ride or the full experience, but then I thought about it, I'm like no, dylan, because then you'll just walk back out or kind of want to like not do the you just leave, okay.
Speaker 1:So you're not going to park in your own maze, you would just turn around and leave. I think for other people it might be a good experience, but for me no. But would you be confident that you? How is your sense of direction? So if you went into a maze like, no, I think, I think I can do that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay the maze part, like if the maze, one of them, uh, but with regards to some of the other rides, um, maybe something with water, then you've got the uh, like the lazy river part. Yeah, yeah and then obviously the main attraction the mummy, the mummy.
Speaker 3:The mummy, okay, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the ride called the mummy. The mummy, yeah. So basically and this is where I need to start focusing again so I figured the mummy takes us on a trip, starting down at the bottom of the pyramid, going up and around, because, yeah, it's not a UNESCO World Heritage Site and you can build a roller coaster there.
Speaker 1:Okay, so this is a roller coaster, this is a roller coaster, this is a roller coaster.
Speaker 2:This is a roller coaster. This is a roller coaster, right. So going up, taking you in and around just to experience the grandeur of the pyramids, right, and then obviously the drop. But what I wanted to do with that is you have different drops and speeds at different levels, going down, right, and obviously you don't stop at ground level because it's a tomb, so you're going to go down into the tomb, I'm going to go down.
Speaker 2:Okay, we're tomb diving Right. So each one of these kind of levels drops into a room and a story of ancient Egypt.
Speaker 1:Oh, this is education.
Speaker 2:Kind of I thought about that. I'm like I don't know who the fuck's going to want to live, but if there's, and how would that work?
Speaker 1:on a roller coaster Like um.
Speaker 2:All right, take out your books today. I think you're sorry, I think you're sorry. It was Bill Wesley. Take out your books today. I think you're sorry. I wasn't too sure About how you do that, but I figured maybe like kind of a drop Stop and then, if you have, let's say 25 metres Of Slower Right. You kind of take it in. You've got the intercom. Tutankhamen was discovered in this tomb by the ancient explorer it would always be someone that was almost Michael Caine yeah, of course Michael Caine would I mean.
Speaker 1:Hey, it's your theme park. Who would you like to narrate?
Speaker 2:david attenborough, but scarier if he could. If he could, yeah, if he could make it a bit like tan, but deeper and scarier maybe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, oh, samuel jones is james, james jones, samuel, samuel jones, james jones I just want, I think I'm gonna say james, I'm gonna say james James, james, james, james, james, james, james James Samuel Jackson hey what the fuck are you talking about? Samuel Jackson right? Is that who you said? No, what are you?
Speaker 2:on about then Mufasa's voice.
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't know. That's your neck of the woods.
Speaker 2:That's Darth Vader's voice, but anyway, okay, right, we were. That was completely. Anyway, wavelengths know it's your neck of the wind that's dot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, darth vader's voice, but anyway, okay, right, we were, that was completely anyway. Wavelengths not on.
Speaker 2:That could be another right with each descent, then cover levels of history, right, the myths. They were the myths they were told as children. Yeah, might not be so mythical. So basically it kind of exposes the darkness of what mummification is the light side of mummification. Yeah, that's probably. This is probably true. But well, I guess there's a haunting element to it, which is probably true.
Speaker 1:I'd like again I don't quote me by this, but yeah, one will, no, no but I guess you go from one level of kids on halloween wrapping themselves up with toilet paper, you want to get to the real deal of people hooking out the pancreas and shoving it in a jar. Is that what you want?
Speaker 1:yes, because I knew they'd do that yeah, yeah, that's exactly what they do through the anus. So what you, what you're saying, dylan, is you want to educate, I guess, adults and children on this of how they used to basically take the dead body of a pharaoh and they usually they would be like their late teens, early twenties and how they would go inside their body through the mouth or the anus and take those organs out and then place them in jars. That, I guess, and again, these these thing parts kind of embody you, embody you as a person. So this makes total sense. Thank you, you're welcome no, it's funny.
Speaker 2:I actually think I missed the whole fucking brief, even as I as I'm telling my own story, because the idea was for me to speak in a slower voice, highlighting the scariness of the mummy no, no, look, we always go off brief, okay, I'm just.
Speaker 1:I'm just trying to insinuate that your personality has something to do with hooking up with kidneys and anus. Um, you know which is kind of my you know what yeah and um yep, and for that I'm sorry, for that I'm sorry. Okay, so you want to bring in the mummies into it, and? And then what? So we're going up and down, we're in the tombs, and and yeah, where?
Speaker 2:are we at now? It's scary and now I want to put you in. This was actually supposed to be the true story, which kind of made me, as I say, miss my brief with with my fucking story. However right. So, as people go through these different levels, I to get to the final one, called the the chamber, the chamber of the unfinished mummy, the chamber of that's quite wordy title, that one okay. Chamber of the unfinished. Chamber of the unfinished mummy. Okay. So you see?
Speaker 2:yeah, just because it's faster, wordier, anyway so it's just just before they get there right, the final drop, which is complete darkness, right, right, but this is where my story. All of a sudden, you just hear right, that was that scared me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's scared a horrific screech, a banshee like screech, right, shit. Right now they people are kind of going busy completing the ride. However, this actually scares the guests and draws the attention of even the this, the amusement park staff. Right, so this was no, I'm being serious. We needed to stop this because I was supposed to tell the story from somebody's perspective, which I never did that's staying in, that is staying in.
Speaker 1:How do you get to the end of the story and realize wait, this is from my point of view.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah the fact that you got that on camera as well.
Speaker 1:Just me kind of realizing being like, and it was this moment he realized I fucked up. Yeah, I mean, look, let's keep it in, because that I liked, that I liked that a that was based on my personality. Okay, yeah, that is exactly. Wow. Did you just? Did you just, freaking fourth wall, come from behind and mummify my anus? Because that was fantastic? If you, if that was a whole, if that was a bruise, then I all of a sudden fear you because, uh, now I don't know who you are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, you, because, uh, now I don't know who you are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, um, no, you just fucked up yeah, I just fucked up, okay, sorry, I completely forgot what were the key beats of the story like. If you could just surmise it to a few points kind of yeah, what was it about?
Speaker 2:well, it was. Normally I've got the secret or the twist on every end of my stories.
Speaker 3:So what I wanted to do?
Speaker 2:I was thinking too much about what I would do. Um, so I had different things, so I wanted to tell a story about people going on this ride, going on this journey, getting to different levels, getting to that final drop, hearing the screech Okay Right, and even the people working there. It's like that's not fucking part of the ride. So it draws kind of the tension, attention of like okay, well, shit, what's happening. And then you have this. Uh, then they kind of figure out what the screech like sounds are. And then they get to this person going on the teacup ride and this teacup ride is pulling way too many fucking g's. And this lady ends up complaining about not being able or not. They don't, she doesn't know how the park allows people of determination, if you can call it that, onto this ride. And this person is like what do you mean? And she's like, well, this guy's clearly kind of special, just hear how he's fucking bansheen out on these teacups. And then they are like what are you talking about? He's the manager. And then I get off the ride being like actually I'm the owner so so you were useless in your story yeah, so now half way
Speaker 1:through, yeah so you were the special person in your own story I was the special person in my own story.
Speaker 2:Telling a story, yeah yeah, like wow, this is.
Speaker 1:This is like a, this is like the recent deadpool movie we're fourth wall. We're back in the story of fourth wall again. Oh well, dylan, that was, that was, and that well, that was quite, quite the ride, yeah, which is and now I probably should tell you how that links to my three words yes, please, dylan, how the fuck does it relate to your three words? Well, the ticket sales right relates to being helpful right, I did wonder why that useless fucking piece of information was, and I forgot that until now.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, that's how that links. Obviously the ride's got levels and yes, I, uh, I have the screech on me on the Arabic teacups pulling Gs. So boom, james, that's my story. Use whatever you want out of that Well there we go.
Speaker 3:Drop it down low with three word story, dylan. Yes, that was quite the roller coaster. I cannot promise the same kind of roller coaster.
Speaker 1:Three word story, dylan. Yes, that was quite the rollercoaster. I cannot promise the same kind of rollercoaster, probably because there's not so much depth as your story. And look, there's going to be some interaction. I'm going to need a bit of you as well to help me out, to figure things out. So to remind you of my three words, so you know how they relate to my story and not your fucking, whatever that was whatever that was.
Speaker 1:Plan, plan agreed, rekindle okay. So I'm gonna go. I'm gonna be up front of how they relate. This is not like a plot twist kind of thing. Basically, we are going to come up with a plan right now we're going to go through some rights with you of how we can extract more money out of Black Gang Chyne so we can rekindle the great success of the Victorian times. Does that make sense? We are going to discuss together as corporate bigwigs about how we are going to make these rides a little bit more lucrative for us, and then I'm going to package it all together at the end as a lovely corporate video that we can then present to investors further down the line to black gang chine. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:that's fair. I just wish I knew more of black gang chine besides the uh, the mineral, the chine and the whale bones dylan, you already know more than 99.9999% of the whole population by knowing those facts alone, dylan.
Speaker 1:So no, I've got the, I've got the rights in front of you, in front of me, not you all right, okay, because otherwise I wouldn't know I've got the rights in front of me. Okay, um, I kind of you can kind of guess what they are based on, what they're fucking called right. So we're not gonna have, you don't have the pictures in front of you and we're gonna think to think, how can we make this a little bit more lucrative? How can we be a little bit more greedy?
Speaker 3:Does that make sense. You're happy with that. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:So get your big wig on and let's get greedy, okay. So the first one is a. It's like it's just a water park, okay. So, as I said, black Gang Chai is a bit here, there and everywhere you go, fairyland, you go this side, you go like that, okay. So we start with water force. Yes, okay, if you get any ideas jump off your head of how you could make water force a little bit more lucrative because I do okay, you take it from water force, which is just a couple of water slides, and you change it to force water. Okay, what you do? People arrive into the park and you lock them in a barren desert area for 24 hours and you make the water extremely expensive. Okay, but you give 30 of its charity so they can't come back and sue you. Okay, so you force them to have water. Does that make sense? It?
Speaker 2:does make sense. Do you think that's brilliant Sure you know you could get?
Speaker 1:them to like maybe you could supply some like free peanuts to dry their mouths out a little bit more so you can try and get the foot full in a little bit more. I don't know what other dry produce that you have back home that you could supply. That would really just get that mouth dry like suck the moisture so we can force water. What do you think?
Speaker 2:I like the idea of where this is going. However, yeah to, I guess that's what people do anyway, like these big corporates, or like the studies on certain things, or like the studies on certain things, like they just want you to spend more and they they've got certain ways of doing it, uh, forcing people kind of in that we're on the nose here, dylan, we're on the nose, we're not even hiding behind it.
Speaker 1:Okay, but this is part of the attraction. Okay, now you're thinking how does it relate to me?
Speaker 2:and so am I, because it's now making me sound like a massive dickhead no, no, no, no, but we just lock them in there and, yeah, we do the thought it's an experience.
Speaker 1:Okay, I in my life have gone through some, some dark days, you know, long days out in the mountains. You know we live out in the desert. Haven't really been much in the desert, but I'm sure I'd be thirsty, right? So it's, that is an element of my life. You know, going through some suffering and at the end of it some delicious, expensive water, and some of that money goes to charity. How's about that?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, the fact that I can't complain about it. Yeah, considering it's going to charity, it'd be like, yeah, okay, it's money better spent not necessarily well spent but it's gone to.
Speaker 1:It's gone to people of of need, so that is, that is number one, okay but, but a question just a last, last question about this yeah, the markup on top of that needs to be considerably higher.
Speaker 2:Considering going away, giving away 30 of whatever we just made okay, I like your greedy thinking, dylan.
Speaker 1:This is, you're getting the big wig status right. Here's what I'm thinking. Here's what I'm thinking. Up above is a ginormous bulb. Okay, because, I'll be honest with you, it doesn't get very sunny in the isle of wight that often, okay. So we have an enormous bulb, okay, um, and it can be powered by the tidal, you know the tidal wave outside, so we're not paying for the electricity.
Speaker 1:The sea provides it for us. So we have this enormous bulb above. So it's like a solarium, you know, just like a turtle basking on a rock. The sweat pours down from people into a grated floor. The sweat drops through the floor into a reservoir the reservoir. Dri sweat drops through the floor into a reservoir. The reservoir drips down to fill the bottles we just sell people their own sweat bags. Yes, Dylan To the following people yes, we do.
Speaker 1:We are selling people their own sweat, and how is the markup for that for you, dylan? So we have free coastal powered bulb shining down on people and we sell them their own sweat. They drink the bottles and we ask them to recycle them on the way out, so we just use the same bottles over and over again. How's that for greed?
Speaker 3:for you, how's that for a plan.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there we go.
Speaker 1:So we can rekindle their sweat and put the back in the bottles, and we can rekindle the bottles and give it back to put more sweat in it's, yeah, it's lovely chop it down though.
Speaker 1:Three word story. So the next one, dylan, this one. This one is not necessarily maybe more greedy. Well, maybe you can make this more greedy. I can't really think of anything off the top of my head that was make the super greedy. But this is the hall of mirrors, okay, so again, a lot of these places are kind of on the nose, and this is the hall of mirrors. So it is a hall of mirrors.
Speaker 3:I don't know how else to tell you Okay, it's just a hall of mirrors.
Speaker 1:Some make you small, some make you wide, some make you whatever. So I guess it can make you a bit body conscious. Is there any way that we could make this greedier, for example?
Speaker 2:uh, not necessarily greedier, but hopefully we can make the normal mirrors right, not even be normal like so. I want the people over there more body conscious and then we sell meal plans just outside whoa right, so so okay, so you post it as like.
Speaker 1:This is a hall of mirrors, the normal mirror, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So it would be like this is the I don't know one that makes you short and fat, this is the one that makes you tall and skinny.
Speaker 2:And then the normal mirror is also not really a normal mirror so then they go outside and then all of a sudden like here's a 30 30 day meal plan for you yeah, that is hopefully if you can kind of disguise it, obviously not being like you look like you could lose some weight, maybe not that upfront about it, but yeah, if you can kind of mask it in there with I like that.
Speaker 1:That's so greedy, you're getting your big wig on.
Speaker 2:I like it on to do x, y and z. Yeah, that is proper corporate big wig style.
Speaker 1:How about this as well? All right, so you could have. That will grasp some people. Maybe some people aren't that body conscious, and good for them. I'm happy for Dylan. I would like more people to be less body conscious, other than other, like you know, unlike you. How about we have a mirror that digitally has like a TV behind it? Okay, All right. So my thinking is this you look in the mirror and in the TV you see a ghoul behind you. Oh shit. You turn around, there's no ghoul there and other people to the side. So it's like you know how you have like those TV screens that you can only see.
Speaker 2:Once you look directly at it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sure so you have that filter on it, so anyone next you can't see? Well, actually is that not?
Speaker 2:how a mirror normally works, James.
Speaker 1:You can see an angle right, Like that mirror there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but only because it's reflecting off of that one you can see, right.
Speaker 1:So basically it just looks dark, or okay, you can't see the ghoul, you can see the mirror, but you can't see the ghouls. You can only see the ghouls straight on right, and it only happens every now and then. Yeah, so they'll be like oh, my God, oh.
Speaker 3:God, you've got to see this.
Speaker 1:There's a ghoul here and it gets switched off and the person's like uh, timmy, you okay? Like no, there's, there was a ghoul there. And like then there's like a member of staff there and they're like tell, no, there wasn't. But no, they don't have. These are just mirrors. Okay, they don't, they're not messed with. And then you have a 30-day psychiatry program at the end, yeah, so then, and then he's like, oh shit.
Speaker 1:So you know, one of the mates is off getting a 30-day diet plan and the other guy is getting some psychiatry because he just thinks he's seen ghouls. You could go one step further. Okay, I have like a bundle plan. You could make a bundle plan. You can have like a stag do plan or, you know, like a bachelor party, yeah, where this, the the best man, phones ahead with an image of like a deceased family member, like a grandma or something like that. They build it into the mirror and then he believes his, his great-great-grandmother is haunting him and then you can really lock down on the psychiatry. I really you can really really get the price up. Then, you know, and it's great for the stag party, you know someone being completely fucked off the whole time drop it down low with three word story.
Speaker 1:Jonah's whale. So you know that old Jonah that ended up in the whale. Yes, so realistically it's just a big whale that you can go in, so you can feel like Jonah okay how can we extract more of that? Is that actually a? These are all real rides that are in the Black Gang Shine wow you needed to add that extra. I wanted to do that a while ago, but.
Speaker 2:I completely forgot. Wow, I wanted to do that a while ago. Okay, so I'm thinking to broaden the market within the people already visiting the park. We make this particular attraction Jonah's brothers whale and then hopefully people still know who the Jonah's brothers are.
Speaker 1:Oh right, I wonder where we were going to go down the same route, and not for the first time today. We didn't, so you've gone down the Jonas Brothers, okay.
Speaker 3:So, that's good for a younger crowd, but I guess then they are now older.
Speaker 1:I don't know, are Jonas Brothers still a thing?
Speaker 2:I think they're back together oh are they In what way?
Speaker 1:I'm a super fan. Yeah, that's funny, that's creepy. I haven't licked my lips for no reason. Yeah, why did you look into the camera and wink? They're not watching. I hope they're not anyway. So I went down a slightly different one. Yeah, maybe we could have half and half, so on one side for some one and a half brothers yeah, sorry. Yeah, there's three brothers, right, anyway, then let's move on. I don't want to talk about the Jonas Brothers. I'm sure you can agree.
Speaker 2:I just missed your idea.
Speaker 1:Let's move on On one half, all three. Jonas Brothers. I think only people care about two. Right, I think there's a third that people don't care about. Yes, so on the other side, jonah Hillswell, so you play Superbad, you play Wolf of Wall Street. Jonah Hill's whale so you play Superbad, you play, uh, wolf of Wall Street and a variety of other films that Jonah Hill's been in, because then you have the comedy crowd and then you have the Jonah Hill's crowd on the other side, so they're going to pay more. People are going to want to go into Jonah's whale. Discuss.
Speaker 2:Well, if, if you are looking at what are we just going down?
Speaker 1:the, the tangent of jonah hill's whale. No, what we can have like one side of the rib cage is jonah's brothers one side of the rib cage is jonah hill, because what am I? We're greedy.
Speaker 3:We're greedy and we're trying to rekindle some custom here?
Speaker 2:yeah, and what am I supposed to do? Sit there, look pretty. Next one, next one, yeah, right, so this one.
Speaker 1:I just like your idea. Okay, we can go full jonah hill if you want to.
Speaker 2:No, I would rather go full jonah hill okay, all right, we're gonna go jonah hill, then fine fantastic, great, great, great, right.
Speaker 1:Next one, dylan this one's called extinction. Okay, so there it's a bunch of basically plastic dinosaurs, it's. It's fantastic. You should go there. It's wonderful. I'm thinking okay, because we're greedy, we want to brand it just like Jurassic Park, but we don't want to pay for the branding of Jurassic Park. Okay, so we have like a similar looking logo. Everyone drives around in like jetors, so like rip off Jeeps. Okay, so they're not actual jeeps and we call it prehistoric public garden instead of jurassic park I thought you were gonna say something terrible what did you think I was gonna say?
Speaker 2:and why you mentioned the jetour car, and then I was like then you just went for it. I just thought maybe there's a recurring theme.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure there isn't, there's, I'll be. Do you know what I'll do? I'll bleep that out, okay, no one will hear it. But people, yeah, no, they can't, because there is no evidence of what you just said. There was nothing wrong with it and actually it was really intelligent and clever. But I'm going to stick with prehistoric public garden, so everyone's safe. So it's going to be prehistoric public garden, all right. Okay, and we are going to. We're going to animate the dinosaurs a little bit, and by animate, we're just going to get people to climb into the costumes and wave around, because we want to pay for animatronics.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we can have prehistoric public garden. There's only a couple more, Don't worry. Uh-huh Hedge maze. So how do we make it more lucrative Hedge maze? So how do we make it more lucrative Hedge maze? So it's just, you know your standard hedge maze, right? How can you monetize more a hedge maze, Dylan?
Speaker 2:Well, I was thinking about hedges and upkeep, but it's already there, so it's like Well, you went down a complete different route.
Speaker 1:Here's what I'm thinking, dylan, right, so let's say three o'clock, people enter the maze.
Speaker 2:Right, they go into the maze and it's a big maze and bouncers keep them there hostage you see, when they're around the corner, out the way you seal the maze.
Speaker 1:You seal the maze but you don't tell them they don't know. So it's like a hidden, so they cannot like it's a hidden.
Speaker 1:It's a long way, so they go in thinking right, you guys need to go around and back out this way. Yeah, but they don't know that it's completely sealed off. Inside you have kiosks, you have burgers, you have a hotel, yes, you have a metro, you have like a hot and basically you keep them forever and you just keep adding people every couple of days and and it's literally like a basically a town or a city and because I can't get out, yeah, and you could have a university, a school, and it's just.
Speaker 1:They literally just become maze people and they become mazes and that's what they call themselves.
Speaker 2:It's just. It's just the mazes, not not my maze runners yeah, no, no, no, that's too cool, no, we can't pay for those right.
Speaker 1:No no, no, yeah, we're having prehistoric public garden and we're just having mazes, not maze runners. Okay, we're greedy, dylan, we are greedy, yeah, so how do you think, are we ever?
Speaker 2:evolving maze within, and then, yeah, to keep people stuck there to spend money, because they are exactly everything you need.
Speaker 1:So and we will buy the land and we will make Black Gang Chime its own country.
Speaker 2:This is such a scary place, though that keeps on popping up.
Speaker 1:No, it's just I'm advertising Black Gang Chime. You know I want it to be radical because I'm trying to rekindle some businesses. I get this Plan, greed rekindle, so we keep them there. We make kidnapping not a crime and voila. So dylan, the next one, now this one, this is our kind of three-word story flavor onto black and chai, because at the moment they have a character, uh, who has their own lawn and mansion, and this is called the rumpus lawn and mansion. What was it? What was it? The big sigh, what?
Speaker 2:what are you not linking this for a third episode? Now I was just scared. You were going to say and he's got a cousin called fucking krampus, and then all of a sudden you start speaking in a fucking german accent again and then, yeah, I wasn't going to, but now you've said it now.
Speaker 3:You've said it yeah we?
Speaker 1:we simply stick a k onto the front of it, so it becomes Krumpus, and then, all of a sudden, we are getting paid the rights, dylan.
Speaker 1:We are getting paid the rights, you see, because we own the Christmas Krumpus rights. We've created this character, so we are going to have a Christmas Krumpus lawn. That's where a load of goats will just eat, because he is half goat, and then in the mansion it would just be painted red like a demon. So we're going super cheap, but they have to pay for the rights of the Christmas Krampus. So instead of the Rumpus mansion and lawn, we're going to have the Krampus mansion and lawn, and you can Google it. The Rumpus is there, but we're gonna rebrand it with the krampus. Okay, all right, it's a place called fairyland. I don't think we need to do much with that. We're just gonna stick you in it. Pirate. They already have a pirate land, but I don't want to touch that either.
Speaker 3:So they have a trust me this place, black gang.
Speaker 1:Chine is one of the best theme parks on earth because it just has pretty much everything. But I'm thinking fairyland, we just stick you you, and a cute pair of wings, a little tutu, we just stick you in there. I think that'll be enough. Next one snakes and ladders. Right, I'm thinking real, snakes, real ladders.
Speaker 2:I don't want to say I don't know what that sound was I'm gonna sound by that.
Speaker 1:Put that on the uh, the soundboard next time. Yeah, that'd be interesting to watch. Yeah, so it's basically it'd be all underground in one of the caves, live studio audience though. Great idea. Yeah, great idea. But we've got to do it before the Koreans do it, because they have some batshit fucking game shows. We could get there before Real snakes and ladders and then there could be like a big Perspex screen where there's like a live studio audience behind.
Speaker 3:Otherwise, the snakes are getting the audience to be a mess.
Speaker 1:So I'm thinking they go down in there thinking they're going to play snakes and ladders, and there's just ladders obviously going up to get them out, and a lot of snakes. What more do you need?
Speaker 2:Yeah, thoughts, yeah, no, I'm just trying to think of how long this game would last, because I mean loss, because I mean, um, I think most of the snakes should just be non-venomous, non-choky, right, like okay. So meaning by default, there will be some venomous, like a couple, just a couple, yeah, but the fear is there, okay.
Speaker 1:So the chances of them the dying are pretty slim, bar a couple of cobras, a cheeky boa constrictor or two that may suffocate and strangle them. But that's part of the game, right, we'll just squid game it. But we won't squid it, we'll just octopus game it. Well, whatever, whatever, whatever we could get away with not paying with the actual um, the rights, and he didn't want to use the word snake yeah, but I wanted you know what I was trying to do.
Speaker 1:Fine, we'll go to snake games, then we'll call it the snake games and they go in. Some people make, yeah, but I want to. You know what I was trying to do? Yeah, I do. Fine, we'll go to Snake Games, then We'll call it the Snake Games and they go in. Some people make it out or not. Then they get up to the top Dylan Guess where they are. They're back at Force Water and then we go again.
Speaker 2:And then they go, All the sweat that they conjure up in that glass box we also use brilliant to feed the live studio.
Speaker 1:Keep that in mind, dylan. Now we've got this sorted. There are, amongst other, rides that, to be honest, they're too perfect to even to sort out. What we are going to do now is we're going to put together a quick promotional video of how this will sound to investors, so we can extract the money out of them, put them into black gang chine and then be greedy with our plan to rekindle some money you got me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Are we getting paid like like black gang chine?
Speaker 1:Oh, we will.
Speaker 2:We will.
Speaker 1:When this kicks off, when this goes out there, when this goes ultra viral or we get sued, no, it's fine, right I've checked with the the black gang.
Speaker 1:They're fine. That's what they're called there, because it's called the place based off the mineral color in the rock and gangways, dylan gang ways, which are pathways, by the way. Nothing else. You ready, okay? So I'm gonna start like this promotional video. We'll use these videos that is going to be up for YouTube so you can talk to the camera if you want to. And this is going to be to our investors and we're just going to go down and explain them just briefly, ok, and it'd be a nice little soundbite. Welcome to the three word story theme park developments. Today we are going to show you an investment guideline to enhance the beautiful Black Gang Chai. The first ride that we have is the Force Water. Dylan, please tell our lovely investors what the Force Water is so.
Speaker 2:the idea behind this glass box would be to get the people inside as thirsty as possible, right whilst restricting them of water, but then selling bottled water with a markup increasingly higher, but then using some of that profit as charitable donations to keep them from coming after us.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much, dylan. Next up we have the Hall of Mirrors, where our lovely consumers will walk down the mirrors and they may get a distorted version of themselves, which may make them want to go on a meal plan, or they may look into the mirrors where they are haunted by people of their past, meaning that they may want to purchase some psychiatry. Here are some of the things that some of the people had to say. Is that my gran, you can tell they love it. So the next up we have jonah's whale, and in jonah's whale we will have one side, jonah hill, celebrating the wide range of films for truly cinema's great, and on the other side you'll have the jonas brothers just to, just to entertain and appeal to the younger market, which I believe is teenage girls and thankfully we had dylan here, who is one of our leading experts well, thank fuck you.
Speaker 2:You said that instead of. Actually I shouldn't say that.
Speaker 1:I'd rather take that instead of jonas and next up we have extinction, where we will basically take all of jur Park's logos and branding but we will call it Prehistoric Public Garden. Enough said on that one, I think, or nothing. The next, we will have a hedge maze. The idea of this hedge maze is to entrap our customers to becoming part of the hedge community, where there will be a tax rate of 99% and that they will be locked into this area at all times.
Speaker 2:Some of the community. Members said such things as oh, what overpriced bottle of water.
Speaker 1:Well, this bottle. It almost tastes like sweat and help me, please let me out of here. As you can tell, they are really happy to be here, and next up we have the Krampus lawn and mansion, and here we have our very own Krampus. Hi, welcome to my mansion and my lawn. Come and visit me. I have all my lovely goats, because I am a half a goat eating all the lovely grass. And well, you have to wait and see and see what happens in the mansion side. Thank you very much, krampus. And we have snakes and ladders.
Speaker 2:Dylan, please explain to our investors snakes and ladders snakes and ladders in front of a live studio audience. Some of the guests would be trapped in a glass box simulating the real life game of snakes and ladders. Not all snakes will be venomous.
Speaker 1:Just to add that element of surprise and also saves on the markup of buying snakes Right.
Speaker 2:Interesting stuff.
Speaker 1:And just to polish all that off, if said customer does escape and go up through the top, then they'll find themselves back up to the large bulb where they will, of course, be charged to drink their own sweat. Thank you very much for listening. And there we go, dylan, that is, we'll use that to get investors and, of course, we will enhance black gang shine after that lovely promo video black gang shine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that'll be perfect. Look, and we've we've got the videos for it. I can stick some slides over it so they can really get what we're we're talking about. Um, we'll just draw some stick figures on it. I'm sure it'll be fine. So those are our theme parks. What a fever dream that was, or a fever nightmare, I I don't know if it was because it was particularly hot in here, or you're. You're dressed as I'll just say that again.
Speaker 2:What would you want to say?
Speaker 1:like you. Just, you look, um, you look nice, uh, and obviously I'm wearing a large felt costume, which is then making me hot. Check it out on YouTube. Wait what you think you're wearing this. Oh, you don't usually wear this. So, dylan, where will we be looking for our next story and why?
Speaker 2:The place where? The location where you would have your last beer, your final?
Speaker 1:beer. Yes, and we're not suggesting that this is like an end of life thing, because that would be very depressing. It's kind of uh, you've fallen off the bandwagon. If life's got a bit tough, you know you need to stop. You need to stop because your pancreas is gonna gonna shoot up and the egyptians might come for you and pull it out of your anus to mummify you. You don't know that, so it's going to be somewhere where you are going to take that sip of your last beer on Three.
Speaker 3:Word Story.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to this week's Three Word Story. If you would like to get in touch with James and Dylan, then please email us at the3wordstory at gmailcom. Send your reviews negative or positive, or even your three words, and we'll read them out on air. See you next week.
Speaker 3:Drop it down low with Three Word Story.
