BeTempered
BeTempered
BeTempered Episode 48 – Love in Action: How Sam’s Faith Led to the Largest Kidney Transplant Chain
In this powerful episode, we welcomed a very special guest, Sam Fledderjohann, whose incredible journey from protector to life-giver is a testament to resilience, faith, and divine timing. With co-host Kim Schmidt—Host Dan's wife—stepping in as Ben sits this one out, the conversation took on an even more heartfelt tone.
Born to a very young mother and raised in a home full of instability, Sam stepped into a caregiving role for her siblings early on. While her childhood was far from easy, she found comfort and stability at her grandparents’ farm—an experience that would later shape her values and skillset.
Sam’s story takes an extraordinary turn when, following a deep spiritual prompting, she chose to become a non-directed kidney donor. Unbeknownst to her at the time, that selfless act would launch Ohio State Wexner Medical Center's largest kidney transplant chain in history, helping ten people receive life-saving kidneys over just two days—all thanks to her.
But the divine orchestration didn’t stop there. After the surgery, Sam met her recipient—and in what can only be described as a "God moment," discovered he was deaf. Amazingly, Sam had studied sign language in college and was able to communicate with him directly. The moment moved even seasoned medical professionals to tears and confirmed for Sam that her journey was part of something much greater.
Today, Sam continues to pour into the lives of others as the Special Olympics Coordinator in Mercer County, expanding programming to include basketball, cheerleading, powerlifting, unified golf, equestrian activities, and more. Her guiding belief? "We are beloved children of God." It’s a truth that’s carried her through both the valleys and mountaintops of her life.
Sam's story reminds us that our past—no matter how difficult—can prepare us for a greater purpose. Her early experiences protecting others, her educational path, and her heart for service all aligned to create a ripple effect of hope and healing. When asked if she’d do it all again? She doesn’t hesitate: "A hundred times over."
Are you listening to the promptings in your own life?
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Speaker 2:Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, where we explore the art of finding balance in a chaotic world. Join us as we delve into insightful conversations, practical tips and inspiring stories to help you navigate life's ups and downs with grace and resilience. We're your hosts, dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr. Let's embark on a journey to live our best lives. This is Be Tempered. What's up everybody. Welcome to the Be Tempered podcast, episode number 48.
Speaker 2:Wow, ben, your voice changed. Today we have, instead of Ben, we have my lovely wife Kim joining us. Ben is on the other side of the glass because we've got a little bit of a special connection today with our guest and I want to read a little brief intro to kind of set the tone. And what I'll tell everyone is the story that you're going to hear today, from childhood through growing up, raising a family and through what most recently happened in November and December is truly remarkable. It's a story that both you and I heard on a podcast and brought us both to tears and truly made me feel like I'm not doing enough, and I mean that sincerely, because it's truly remarkable. But what we're here today is to talk about the story, to talk about faith, to talk about adversity, and I'm excited for you all to hear from Sam. So today we have the privilege of sitting down with someone whose heart for service and community knows no bounds.
Speaker 2:Sam Fletterjohn is the Special Olympics Coordinator in Peer Support at the Mercer County Board of Developmental Disabilities, where she's dedicated herself to empowering and advocating for athletes and individuals with disabilities. But her impact does not stop there. Most recently, sam made an incredible, life-changing decision to become a kidney donor, setting off a remarkable 10-person transplant chain at Ohio State's Wexner Medical Center. Her selfless act has not only changed lives, but served as a testament to what true generosity looks like. Beyond her work, sam and her husband have raised their family on a farm, instilling in their children the values of hard work, resilience and service to others. Sam, we are honored to have you on the Be Tempered podcast.
Speaker 4:Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we appreciate you making the trek down from the Mercer County area, which is the home of my beautiful wife, kim, and so again, there's a little bit of a connection there that you don't really know about. We've kind of been talking about it here this morning the Mercer County connection, the farming connection. We're all the same age, we're raising larger families. You know all the challenges that come with all those things. But it's pretty remarkable, and your story is remarkable. How we start off every podcast is we like to start from the beginning, and I think your story from the beginning will show people your life and why you chose to do what you did and what you're doing now. So can you start off from your childhood and talk about what it was like growing up?
Speaker 4:Sure, so I grew up, obviously pretty locally. I was actually Allglaize County, so I work in Mercer, but I lived in Allglaize County in Ohio and I was born to a very young mother. I was her second child and she was I'm not quite 18 when I was born. So that was all I knew. So it was great, right, you don't know what you don't know, but I was born. My father was significantly older than my mom, significantly, being my mom was a teenager and my dad was 27. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 4:So, yeah, my parents did end up marrying and several years later had two more children. Um, that marriage, um was, from the beginning, pretty tough, as you can imagine. It didn't come from the best circumstances, um, and there was a lot of mental health issues with my where my father was concerned, um, my father concerned, um, my father um was raised well. He was the child of farmers and um he, my mother, was not raised so much. She is the daughter of a german immigrant and who married american soldier that she barely knew because she was pregnant. Um, so they're very different upbringings, very different expectations of what this was going to look like. And, needless to say, that marriage did not last and it finally ended when I was 14 years old, and it needed to. It needed to for the mental health of both of them, and then my mom quickly went into another marriage. That was not healthy. It was a bit, not a bit. I'm trying to minimize it and I can't to be fair.
Speaker 4:It was an abusive marriage, but I grew up with although there was chaos my entire life in my home. There was also this underlying no matter where we were financially, no matter where we were within the bounds of our home, this expectation of loving others wherever they are. And for all the things that were chaotic in my life, there were also lessons that were taught to me. All the things that were chaotic in my life, there were also lessons that were taught to me. My grandparents were farmers in Preble County, right across the line here, and I spent most of my summers with my grandparents. So they were a wonderful stability to me as a child and were very influential in the kind of the way I run my own household and the way I parent and the way I feed my household. You know they instilled all those things, and in my mother as well.
Speaker 4:My mother wasn't truly raised. I always say that she just kind of kept aging Right, she wasn't really aged or she just aged. She didn't really, wasn't really raised, and my, my paternal grandparents did a nice job of teaching her. You know they taught her the things that most of us learn in small communities how to can, how to garden, how to do all those things. Therefore, I know how to do those things when in reality, if you look at my life story, I shouldn't know how to do those things. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Okay. So we were very blessed to have them as a consistent people who loved us consistently.
Speaker 2:So so was it. Was it a challenge when you, you know you spent the time with your grandparents and you talk about, you know the impact that they had on your life. Was it hard when you went back home?
Speaker 4:Um, no, because I love my siblings so much and I'm a protector by nature, and it was usually me wanting to go home to make sure they were okay.
Speaker 2:Because of things that were going on. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Just just worried a little bit about you know where they were now. Once my parents divorced, I was 14, you kind of stopped doing that as much. Most of my childhood was that, and I can't even say that all of my childhood was chaotic, because you're a child, it's your norm right.
Speaker 4:And a lot of our kids don't know this until they leave that and be like, oh, that was not okay. So I can't say that my childhood was horrible because it's all you know and we had especially as siblings. There's going to be bonds between siblings that are different. When you are living that life together, you're each other's safety zone. Living that life together, um, you're, you're each other's safety zone, you know, I, um, I tell stories of um. You know, when my mom remarried into out of desperation, I think it just her mental, she was not in a place to do that and it just. You know, she was still very young when I was 14, you can imagine, right.
Speaker 4:So, um, there was a lot of needing to do some protecting within that, within my home, and I was that person, and for not only my mother, um, but for my younger siblings as well, and I wasn't always good at it. I was 14, 15, 16., um, uh. But we, we went from one chaotic situation that was just mental health not just that was mental health to full onon physical abuse and chaos.
Speaker 2:So you know, and you're 14, 15, 16 years old, you know you're going through schooling, which there's challenges in school and friends and all those things, and then you come home to you know physical abuse. Talk about how you were able to mentally not only be there for your siblings but, I assume, also for your mom.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah. So, um, I don't remember a time when I wasn't protective of my mother. Um, when my parents, when I was a child, verse all the way till now even and she doesn't need me to be that now, but it's hard for me not to be I will always be slightly defensive of her. Did she get it all right? Absolutely not, but she was learning along the way. She was learning about how to be a mom when she wasn't really mothered. So there's a lot of grace there. But yeah, there were times where she was the brunt of his abuse. It wasn't to us, especially to me. He was always slightly afraid of me. Maybe that's a strong word. I could get him to back down when I walked into a room At 14 years old 15 at that time but yeah, I can't explain it to you, Nobody can explain it to you.
Speaker 4:I know you've heard these stories before, but I just to you, Nobody can explain it to you. I know you've heard these stories before, but I just you know I'm 15 years old and I'd wake up at 4.30 in the morning because I knew there had been chaos the night before and I would go out and make sure we lived in town at the time her clothes would be all over our front yard. He had taken things that her dad had left her and broken them in the yard. So I'd get up and I'd bring them all back in the house and clean them up, and and and then there was a contract that my mom had a cleaning business and there was contracts that needed to be fulfilled but she physically couldn't do them Right. So I would go three towns over before school, clean that contract, come back, make sure everybody else is going and going to school, and then you pretend like you've got it all together because you're 15 and that's humiliating, right? So, um, did anybody know?
Speaker 4:I don't think so. Um, I I assume the neighbors probably saw the chaos. Um, I got it up. I remember picking it up before the light sun came up, but and? Um? So there were times like that she would come in my room and hide I've hidden her in closets, I've hidden her in my bed and he would come looking for her. There were times when I would be at school and you know, I'm 16, 17 years old at this time now and my spirit's just like you need to go home, you need to go home, you need to go home and um to this day.
Speaker 4:I truly believe had I not gone home.
Speaker 2:My mother would be deceased. He would have killed her.
Speaker 4:It was that bad. It was that bad and you just had a feeling, yeah, but I, you know, to be fair, um, it's not like it was a feeling out of nowhere. Do you see what I'm saying? Like it was, it was these things every other day, it was what's going to happen. What's going to happen? You're constantly living in this fight or flight.
Speaker 2:Um tension, tension, yeah, so you. So you had this feeling and you went home.
Speaker 4:I went, I walked home.
Speaker 2:So so talk about that situation. What, what came of that? I mean, he backed down to you.
Speaker 4:He did. He left when I got there.
Speaker 4:My mom was in the bedroom and he left when I got there. You know my mom is, she's a tough cookie, she's been through it all and he left. There was actually an arrest after that because there was shown physical abuse and I don't want to get too heavy, but if you want to know the facts, there was a couple of arrests and I ended up leaving, coming back. The time just keeps moving and I ended up leaving for school, came back on Christmas break, the first semester, and at that time things had gotten so bad because I was gone. While I was gone not because I was gone and at that time my mom and my two younger siblings were um, living in a woman's shelter Um, what that is. He doesn't know where they're at right, he just knows they're gone in a shelter and so they're protected. And um and I stayed there my first semester, home. So I go to college and everyone thinks that, like I have my life together, because I can, I can make anybody believe that Right and um and I come and I stay in a shelter and with my mother, and then um time goes on, he breaks in a couple of times it was a restraining order and he, um is finally arrested again, and I didn't mention this before, but yeah, so then five months later, he ended up committing suicide in jail. Yeah, and you know, it's a strange place to be in the middle of, because it's a life right and also to feel safe for the first time in several years. It's a weird process to walk yourself through and to pray through and to communicate.
Speaker 4:And I remember all my younger siblings. My older sibling is she's only 20 months older than me, but she is already gone at this time. She's at Ohio State, maybe already graduated Ohio State. And to comfort them and I remember just to to comfort them, and I remember just, you know, I'm 18, still 18 at this time Um, and they all just crawled in my bed with they both just crawled in my bed with me, and they're teenagers at this time, you know. And we just cause. What do you do? How do you explain to somebody yes, somebody died, but golly, we feel safe.
Speaker 2:And exhale it's, it's, it's a strange, that's a tough, strange feeling. Well, especially at that age, I mean tough for anybody, but all that you had been through. Let me ask you this as you're talking, I'm thinking you know we haven't even got to. You know what's most, what you've most recently done. But hearing your story like are these the first times you've told these? Like out in public.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's not some especially. You know, we're from a small town and my parent, my mom, has has a beautiful life and she has all the good that she has done in the worst of times has come back to her and the blessings on her life you know have really they're beautiful Beauty, for ashes it is. She has a beautiful life and um, so it's hard for me a little bit because we come from such a small place. So everybody knows everybody and so I asked her permission before I did this. Um, I said you know that she and she was.
Speaker 4:Um, she said whenever you, this is your life story and it's yours to tell, and I'm never going to be the person to tell you, not to tell it. If I could ask anything, it's just don't make me to be a martyr or this woman who just couldn't figure it out. And I said how could I do that? Because you're not that, you're not, you were. You know she did the best she could for what she had and really did a great job. For me. My youngest childhood memories are my mom serving in some capacity. She would drag all of us to the nursing home with her and just visit people who had nobody. This wasn't taught to her, it was just her nature. So, even in the worst of times, my mom's always been a giver, always.
Speaker 2:So so let me ask you where does your faith come from? Like I look at you and I see a halo around your head, I mean what you went through as a child and to be essentially what you said the protector. You know whether you wanted to be or not. You, you, you are and you were the protector. But where did that faith come from?
Speaker 4:um, I, I mean we were still raised in church mom would take us, I, but it was so chaotic. I remember my dad just like mocking her, taking us to church and going. But I will tell you, my jesus is very real to me, very, very real. And, um, this is not.
Speaker 4:I feel the presence of him in almost every situation not and um when that, when he's such a real part of your life, explaining it to somebody who not yourself, but who wouldn't quite get it, it just makes you they think you're crazy. Or oh, oh, she's got that. You know she doesn't have it all together, no, it's. He's just very real. And I, you know, I was just having a talk with my son the other day about this. I said I couldn't do this life, I can't imagine doing this life, without that faith and that connection. That sounds terrible.
Speaker 3:Well, that's part of it. When I heard your story that so much of it hit home, because for me, I teach religion class and trying to teach the kids to have a relationship with God is about talking to him all the time and build that relationship. It's like then you have those moments of when he speaks to you and you're like I just know it. I mean this is what I have to do, because I just I feel it and I think that's what draws people so close to faith and become more involved in their faith is because of those feelings of knowing that he's alive and he's right here with me. So I just really need to hear that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's amazing as you're answering that question. I just interviewed a couple weeks ago, a lady named Deb Tinsman and she was most recently diagnosed with cancer and went through I mean, she just came through all of her chemo treatments. I think in November is when she finished up and she's in remission right now. But she answered that question the exact same way and, um, it's just amazing, she, you know, she, she taught. I asked her what you know, what advice would you give to someone who's in the middle, or who's been given the cancer diagnosis or in the middle of going through chemo treatments? And she said I don't know how anyone could get through without faith. I can't imagine. Yeah, and so it's.
Speaker 2:It's pretty cool to be able to sit at this table and interview different people that have had completely different life experiences, but to get the same answer. That's pretty neat. So you go through that childhood and thank you for sharing that Cause. I know that's not easy, you know, and you're very humble. Um, you're, you're amazing and we're going to continue to climb that ladder. So you get out of college. What's next for you? What's your career look like? What's your family look like?
Speaker 4:Kind of talk about that. Well, let's be real here. I didn't come out of that unscathed, okay? So you grew up in chaos and I married young.
Speaker 4:Well, we won't go into because why, but to a young man who had a family that was perfect. And, boy, was that a safety net? Perfect, right, because who has that? But when you grew up in that kind of environment, you see somebody with these married parents who are good people. And I married very young and because, a, I wanted purity and I wanted that safety, so we, I married young and obviously, um, that didn't work out and, um, we had children, and with no regrets, because I just feel like when you, even with our mistakes, when we give them to God, he is the master of making it all so beautiful, putting those pieces together and of grace and forgiveness and love and um, work.
Speaker 4:And that was a failure I wasn't prepared for because I was not going to repeat, it was not going to happen and guess what? That happened, but I didn't repeat because we have a beautiful, I have a beautiful life with a man that I couldn't have handpicked better. So, yeah, so we have my husband farms and it's interesting to me because my grandparents, obviously they're generational farmers and they had brown Swiss cows which, as you know, for Mercer County, nobody has brown Swiss cows, right, everybody has their black and white Holsteins. And then I meet this, this man who, um, is a Brown Swiss milk dairy farmer and he's like, oh, you probably had never. And I was like, no, this is you know so. And he, um, and it's just been a ride for the last 18 years.
Speaker 2:So you married a dairy farmer.
Speaker 4:Well, I married one, but we stopped milking two years ago, after 85 years.
Speaker 2:How was that?
Speaker 4:It is. I get to see my husband. Sometimes we can leave and go to dinner before 7.30 PM.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:It was a. It was a. It was a bigger. I took it harder than he did because we spent so much of our I mean we weren't dating very long before he needed me to help him.
Speaker 2:So you know it's. It was a huge part of our. But he's much happier. Sounds like a farmer. Yeah yeah, kim has never heard that I need you to go walk the pig barn, yeah. So, uh, with that, you've got a family, you've got kids, so talk about your kids a little bit.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and so together we raised five children. My daughter was only four, so that's you know, he's been so influential in her life and they love each other. It's we've. I would like to say I feel like we've done a great job. Our kids are all so close and um, I I am such a family oriented person. I I'm always hosting the parties at my house and getting my extended, my siblings and their siblings, my kids, my sisters. Obviously I'm very close to my siblings, so their children and our, my children are are thick as thieves. They're so tight and um. So, yeah, they were raised um. Three of them have two of the boys. The boys graduated from Wright state and my um one son went to Hobart welding school and and my daughter, um, finished at Xavier university last year, but she is back at Xavier um doing her graduate work.
Speaker 2:Okay, what are you doing for work, as you're going, as you're raising this family, as life's going on, talk about, talk about what, what type of business she got into all those things.
Speaker 4:Sure. So when my kids were little, I stayed home because all I really truly wanted to do was be their mommy and to give them the life experiences that were good from mine I was. So we did that and I taught Sunday school and did all those things. And then, um, when they got a little bit older and um, my life changed. I went back to work and I did some interpreting for the deaf um a little bit when they were younger, just kind of freelance. And then I went into social work. I've done social work freelance, but that kind of went with the interpreting. And then I went and worked at an IFC in Minster, which is a group home for those with developmental disabilities, and then did some things for the Medicaid system, working with the elderly, um, and some social work. And then I went and during that time I volunteered for special Olympics um in my County. And then, um, six, seven years ago, I went um and started working full time for the County.
Speaker 2:Okay, working in special Olympics?
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's the when I, when I first got hired in, that was going to be 30% of my job. I would say it's 95% of my job because we've just grown in and just yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so at some point in time now we're going to get to how we found you. Hold on a second, yeah.
Speaker 3:Before you start that, you graduated college? With what kind of degree? Social, social, okay, but part of it.
Speaker 4:You went in and took Deaf Studies was my major when I first started. Yeah, Okay.
Speaker 2:Why Deaf Studies?
Speaker 4:It's fascinating. To me it always was, as a little girl.
Speaker 2:You didn't have anyone in your family that was deaf.
Speaker 4:No, it was just something that always clicked to me as a little girl and when I struggled with language in high other in high school, and I struggled, I didn't do well in Spanish and I didn't do well, but, um, that one, just that one, just came to me and I just loved it and I loved the culture because it's it's a culture as well as, just as a language like any other language has its own culture, and the culture of the deaf world is, um, just so intriguing to me yeah, did you ever get to use it very much?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I did.
Speaker 4:I used to interpret in church a little bit and then I would do, um, I would do people like what they would uh, some of my deaf folks that would go and do job interviews, I would interpret those and things like that. But, um, in this area a full-time work it's not, you know, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I haven't used it in probably 15 years. Yeah, that's a good point, cause that that ties the whole score story together. So, thank you, there's a reason you're here and been sitting on the other side of the glass. So now we get to a couple of years ago. When, when did, when did you receive that sign or that calling from God, whatever it was to make you want to do what you did with your kidney?
Speaker 4:Um, it never something. I never even thought about until maybe 18 months ago, less than that. Um, I, you know, everybody has social media and you see on social media that somebody knows somebody. There's nobody who doesn't know. If you don't know somebody directly, you know somebody knows somebody. And you see those things and I would scroll past like boy man, I hope they get that. And, you know, didn't think much of it. And then there was a gentleman locally to me who has since got his kidney just in the last two weeks, who I thought well, I can just call and see if I'm a, you know, a match for him. And so I called and they said you're not. And I said, okay, just by my blood type, everything, they knew immediately that I was not a match for him. I said, oh, okay, no problem, so I'm.
Speaker 4:I remember walking down a hallway and just feeling it in my spirit You're not done. That phone call was not the end of this. You are not done. Oh, I don't know anybody else. Okay, and I think through life, when things are laid on your spirit, when you are supposed to do something, you are not going to have peace until you do it.
Speaker 4:It's just, you know, yeah, and so it's on my mind. But I have to be careful with that, because I am an empath and I also am a server and I have to be balanced out on that sometimes. So I prayed about it and thought about it and said, lord, take this from me. If it's the same thing, if it is me just saying I can save something, we're not doing that, because I have a job that 75 people rely on me to keep up on and I have children in college and children starting out their lives and buying houses. I need to make sure this is a God thing before I stop my life.
Speaker 4:And so I reached out to Ohio State and said, hey, I'm actually still interested. Is there any need for what I have? And they said, well, come start the testing work. I said, well, hold on a second. So Mike, my husband, and I had a conversation and, as I've mentioned before, he is very used to my personality. Nothing really surprises him and he's always been the most supportive. He's right there beside me, through my things that I do for Special Olympics, through the extras that we do when we give in secret, he's always he gets it, which I'm blessed.
Speaker 4:you know, to be equally yoked is a really big thing it is well, it is very much so, but what was his initial reaction when you, when you said this no one believes me, but I, when I, when I say that he is, um, he is a critical thinker, where I am more of an emotional thinker, so we balance each other out, but he holds me accountable in a way that is um, respectful and so loving. Like you know, I'm his person. So so, um, it was, I'll watch. I'll watch it with you, cause they send you a video and you have to watch it, and it talks about what your caregiver is going, cause the caregiver, he, he would be my person. So the caregiver has to be available to you for two weeks straight, 24 7 doesn't mean they need to be sitting right beside you, just available if you need them, right? So he, you know, very much involves him. So we want.
Speaker 4:I watched it alone and then I remember we were laying in bed one night. I said, all right, let's watch this. And so we pulled up my phone and we watched the video again. He's like wow, they like wow, they do a great job. They do a great job explaining the risk, the benefits, the. You know what it's going to look like for both of us and, um, he was like I said, I, I want to go start the start, the blood work. I want to go start, you know, and he was like, okay, he's like, but I'm going with you, so he, so that he could hear all these things firsthand, because he thinks that I might make it less than for myself.
Speaker 4:So, um, so we did. Yeah, we started. They send me. I like I told everybody I carried around a big jug of urine for to work and put it in my car.
Speaker 4:It was cold outside I didn't have to put it in the work refrigerator. And, um, yeah, a couple of trips to Columbus. Luckily, we could go to Lima for a lot of it, but a couple of trips to Columbus, but still minor, I mean. And when I was all done, they said, okay, we'll get ahold of you if we have somebody. I was like, oh well, I thought for sure that, god, like I was supposed to do this, I thought this was going to be boom, boom, boom. Let's get it done.
Speaker 4:I was like, oh, okay, and I said, well, I'd like to do this soon, because during harvest my husband is not available to me. You know, I don't see him in the light of day unless I'm helping. And they said, okay, when is harvest? So I, you know these city folks, they don't know when harvest is, and so I had told them this is when it is. And I thought, for sure, I would hear back right away. They said, well, and I didn't. I thought that's kind of strange. So I got on my chart and I sent an email and they said, Sam, while I'm working on something, please hang tight. Oh, okay, and that was that.
Speaker 2:So you're hanging tight and this is what you're going through the summer. Yeah, and we're talking. I mean, this is just 2024. Yeah, yeah, last summer.
Speaker 4:It was less than a year ago, yeah.
Speaker 2:So you're going through the summer and it's got to be on your mind. It kind of yeah, I mean every day. You've kind of made this decision. You're like, all right, god, here, you know, I'm ready Right.
Speaker 4:Was I wrong? Did I not hear the voice? Was this the same thing?
Speaker 3:Because I would second guess it, if it's not like right now, what's? Happening Like God is you have to be patient.
Speaker 4:I tell you what his, his perfect timing is not what I think is perfect timing. And it turns out he's always right and I'm always wrong. So at some point in time you either become impatient or they call you, right, right, they, um, I actually called them and I said, hey, I, we were getting ready to plan a vacation and I didn't. My last thing would be like to tell somebody no, you don't get your life back because my husband, I, went to Atlanta beach, right? So, um, I had called them and they said, and. And then Mike, the RN, who, who does all the scheduling for the transplant center at Ohio state, said your ears must be burning because we were just talking about you. And he goes and Sam, I have something really special planned here. He said, but it's in the preliminary stages and I can't tell you about it yet. But I just need to know are you a hundred percent on board, no matter what? And I was like oh, something special.
Speaker 4:Okay, I thought I don't know who this is going to. I didn't think much of that because I don't know beyond that. I know I'm supposed to do this. I don't, I'm not educated in. You know how it all works. And, um, I said, okay, no problem. And he's like give me a couple of weeks and I'll get back to you and have a date. He's like can you keep December open for me, are you? Are you available in December? I said I can do that and then a couple of weeks later he called back and I got the news and I still didn't. Do you want to talk about that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely yeah. Go go into that phone call and what that looked like, cause you, you're going through harvest. So you're still thinking you've had this conversation and you're thinking, man, I wonder what this is, or who, who's this going to? Is this going to somebody?
Speaker 3:famous or what you know? What is this? Did you have any stipulations with who it would go to?
Speaker 4:Yeah, who it would go to. Yeah, so they, they do a nice job at Columbus. Um, they have a. You have to go through a psyche, psyche evaluation to make sure that you know this is unbeknownst to me. This is a really big deal. I didn't know it was a big deal, but I'm told it was a big deal to do this to your body. So you do go through a psyche evaluation and the social worker comes in and she even asked my husband to leave. You know, they make sure like no one's coercing you to do this. There's no like black market thing going on. There's.
Speaker 3:You know that kind of thing you don't get paid for it.
Speaker 4:No, it is strictly yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, it doesn't cost you anything, but it doesn't. But it doesn't. Uh, you know it doesn't pay um, that's very illegal yeah I would think yeah um.
Speaker 4:So she had asked me do you, do you have a problem thinking? You know, um, and you know if it's a different nationality, if it's a gender, sexuality, religion? Do you have an issue with any of those things? And I truly don't, because humanity is humanity. But I also feel like to not be transparent with somebody or, to be totally honest, is failing them.
Speaker 4:So I did tell her, you know, if anything would cause me pause, it would be a man who has a history of abuse. Would I say absolutely not, no way, no. But would it sit well with me? I can't pretend that it would. That's probably the one thing that was my holdup, and she and I talked about it for quite a while and she said you know what they go through. You know the psyche valve that I went through. They have to go through those things as well. And she said I'm telling you, a man who's been under those Abusive yes situations, or has been accused of something like that, or has been in that way in the last 10 years, isn't even going to be a part of our program because we're not touching it. That you know. So that was helpful to me, but also I had to let go of that at the same time, so it was healing to me at the same time.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, so you go through those evaluations and when do they tell you what you're about to do? As far as with with the chain and all that, how that all worked out.
Speaker 4:Uh, mid to late November, and so the surgery was scheduled at that's. When we scheduled it and we knew so it was December 13th. So they call me and they said, okay, we'll work. They, they still don't. And I still, at this moment, don't grasp.
Speaker 4:He's like we're working on a chain. Well, again, this is not my life story, so I don't know about what this chain means. And he said and you're the start of it, and if you? Um, he said, it all happened because you were random. And I was like, okay, well, it wasn't random in my soul, but it was random, and we're going to send you a DNA test and if, if, if, this DNA test matches this first person, we think we have a chain set up which will be the largest in Ohio state's history. Again, that doesn't mean a lot to me, but I'm like, okay, but what are the? He's like, we don't know if your DNA is going to match him, because this particular recipient needs very certain antibodies, et cetera. And I was like, okay, send it to me.
Speaker 4:So they FedEx it to me, I get it the next day. I'm excited because I just, I just think, as a mother, if this was my child, I don't know who this person is at this time. I don't want to wait. Go do it today, right? I'm thinking from what his family must feel. So I go the next morning and cause I do some fasting and, um, have the blood test drawn to see if we're matches. And I get it sent, they, and two days later they said it's a miracle of miracles, lo and behold, you are a perfect match. So so you're a perfect match to someone you have no idea who this is.
Speaker 2:And because you, you know so. So I guess what I have learned just through some research and from listening to your other podcasts that you'd done, you know, a chain is, you know I want to give my kidney to Kim because, um, she's my wife, because she's my wife, but maybe it's not a match. But I don't want to give a kidney to you, right, because I don't know you, right, and that's how a lot of people are and that's fine. But what it took was someone like you who said no, I just want to give the kidney because I want to give life to someone, I don't care who it is. So you're a match for Kim, I'm a match for Kim, I'm a match for whoever, for Johnny.
Speaker 3:Well, because you're still willing. Hey, I can't save my wife's life, but I'm still willing to donate it, so I'll give it to somebody else.
Speaker 4:As long as my wife gets one yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, so that's, that's the chain. So you, you kind of learn about this, not fully comprehending it, because you're focused on what's next for you, right? Which is the surgery. Yeah, so talk about that. They schedule the surgery, everything. All the stars are in line.
Speaker 4:There's going to be 10 people total 10 people receiving, so 20 people total involved Going through surgery Going through surgery within two days.
Speaker 2:Within two days. Within two days, so you go into surgery. You're the very first one, so you are the start of this chain.
Speaker 4:Everything is reliant upon your surgery to go well that was stressful, knowing that you know you're the start of this. This happens, it's all gonna domino because of you. I'm telling you, I'm wearing a mask at work. I, because I have to work up until right, I am so. So we ended up, we had a small trip planned. We ended up canceling. I'm like I can't get on an airplane. If I don't do this, then it's not just one person affected. This isn't about me.
Speaker 4:So we ended up canceling some things just out of precaution. We weren't asked to do those things, we just, you know heavens, that's somebody's life. I can't take that chance. So there were some precautions we took just to make sure we weren't sick, because if there's fever or anything else, one thing had gone wrong with any of those 20 people, it was that I mean, it could have gone until that point, but it would have stopped. And um, and I know there was blood work done even the night before with some of them and it just somehow they just kept lining up and um, I didn't realize at the time what a medical miracle it was to have all of that line up and it's a phenomenal feat by I want to say, god too, but obviously the Ohio State University Wexner Center. To put that all together is phenomenal.
Speaker 3:So yeah, I'm the first one and, um, my husband or that, go ahead do you have any idea how many doctors are performing all these surgeries, because I'm sure it's not just one. No, it's a lot.
Speaker 4:There were we uh, I know at least four and there were tons of surgical nurses as well. Um, but I I was only like met and got to talk to and have repeated conversations with one, the head, the head transplant doctor there.
Speaker 2:Was the surgery painful?
Speaker 4:I was asleep? I don't think so.
Speaker 2:Okay, so everything, everything went good.
Speaker 4:It did. The surgery went well, um, for me and for my recipient. Um, I I remember going down the hallway because I didn't realize again how big of a deal this was for the hospital, until there were cameras in my face. As I'm being rolled down the hospital, I looked at my husband like I just wanted to give my kidney away and, as you can imagine, my husband is a farmer who can go all day without speaking to anybody because he's you know. So he's just like what is all this? Um, but yeah, surgery went well. Um, doctors came out and told him it went well. Um, if they had said when, if my in my kidney was put into my recipient, it was producing urine before they could even get the clamps off to do it. So it was churning immediately and his life was already. He was already healthier before he was even sewn up.
Speaker 2:So that's amazing. Yeah, I mean all those things that lined up, all those stars aligned.
Speaker 2:you know, because you heard this call right you heard this call of you need to do this, and then every you know, having the right doctors and nurses and everybody in place and all those recipients and all those other donors to give too, right, I mean, what an amazing, selfless act to be able to be a part of that. So you get out of surgery, talk about coming out of surgery, and then they gave you the opportunity to meet the recipient. Right, can you talk about that?
Speaker 4:So the first day my surgery was at 7 am. We don't get out of bed that first day. And then the next morning I was doing some walking and cause I was going to go home the staying in the hospital is not the fun treat you might think it is Um, so I was going to go home and so I was doing all the walking I could and I would pass the room, and every time I would pass a certain room I'd be like Hmm cause you don't know who your recipient is, right, there's no, there's no expectation.
Speaker 4:And it came from me, like, if that's another thing they ask you is, do you have an expectation to me? And I was like a hundred percent, no, this is a gift, nothing is owed to me, they owe me nothing. But if they want to, I am a hundred percent open to it. So that's Fridays of surgery, saturday, we're doing the walking and trying to eat and doing all those things. And then, um, sunday, my husband got the room packed up and we're getting ready to leave to head home and, um, the nurse comes in my room and says I, just your recipient, would like to meet you. There's a and they they're so making sure you know there's no pressure for you. And, um, cause everybody else can somewhat meet their person, cause there's a connection, right, and I was like, was like, oh, if, if they're up for it, I'm still using these pronouns because I don't know, right, and I need their pronouns. And I said they're up for it a hundred percent, but there's no pressure from my side either. And she's like okay, um, I just want to give you a little bit of a warning before you go.
Speaker 4:And I'm thinking, oh no, but she, she said um, your recipient is a young man and he's deaf. And that's when I feel my husband's energy behind me. I just feel him, what? And I kind of look back at him and I'm just smiling from ear to ear and I'm like, oh, these God wings right. And she looks at me, she goes oh, my goodness, is that okay? And I was like, no, that's more than okay. But I don't say anything to her about why it's okay. And I said, okay, let's go do it. And um, so we go back to that room that we kept passing that um is my recipient and um, it's a young man who um?
Speaker 4:is graduate, um, and he and his and his father was in there and his sister was in there, and so I walked in and I was just, you know, so good to meet you. My name is Sam, and how are you feeling? So I'm signing these things to him and his, his wife and his sister, just lose it, just lose it.
Speaker 4:And and he responds verbally because he lost his hearing in childhood, which means typically when somebody loses their hearing late, a little bit later in life, once they've learned to speak, they can speak pretty well. So he responds verbally to me and I at this time I don't know that he's lost it in childhood. You know, I thought he was fully deaf and I was just, and he's doing great, and it was just so fun to talk to him and his family and talk about how he had produced over five gallons of urine in that 24 hours, that first 24 hours, nearly six. He looked amazing, he was up, he, she said, he said I even got dressed for you this morning, you know, because they leave a little bit later than we do, later than we do, and you know I had the, I looked over and so anyway, I didn't want.
Speaker 4:You know how do you thank somebody for that? It's so uncomfortable for them and I just told you, you know you owe me nothing. What a gift, what an honor to look at a person and say I can do this for you because of something I have. And so the nurses were sobbing and the nurses looked at me and they're like you know, we do this all the time and we don't ever cry. She goes. That was too much.
Speaker 4:That was too much and I said you know, that's just, that's just the God we serve. You know when we, when it's his plan, wow, it blows your mind Right, and how lucky are we?
Speaker 3:The cool thing that I think about that is that it's like full circle. You know you get that calling that you decide to listen to and do, and then all of a sudden you go and meet the recipient and he's deaf and it's like God prepared you how many years ago for this. I just think it's such a cool thing. Not that you need the confirmation, but it's confirmation.
Speaker 4:It's so beautiful, it's the gift, it's like a little gift from God. And then I feel that way about most of the any trials in our life, if they're all experiences that we can still use for his glory.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, yeah, that that's amazing. When I heard that I was like that, you're right, that's full circle. I mean everything that you went through as a child and then you go to school and you learn sign language and then you live your life as a, as a servant leader, giving you know, raising your, raising your children. You know going in and doing the developmental disabilities, and that takes a special heart I have. I had an aunt who passed away about five years ago and I've got an uncle whose health is not great now, but both of them have mental disabilities. So I was raised around people with disabilities. I was raised watching the special Olympics and I think it gives you a whole new perspective on people and on on people and on um. You know the difficulties that we face as as normal healthy individuals. And they just put it into perspective because my, my aunt Susie and my uncle Dave always had a smile on their face.
Speaker 4:You know, they didn't know any different right.
Speaker 2:And so much joy and all of all of these individuals and the challenges that they face, that they don't even know are challenges, and it takes a special heart, like yours, you know, to be able to help and, to, you know, allow these individuals to prosper. You know, talk about with the Special Olympics some of the things that you're doing up in Mercer County, because there's some unique things that you talked about on the other podcast that I don't know that all Special Olympics are doing and all the developmental disabilities places are doing, but you've got some really unique things going on up there, right.
Speaker 4:We have a delegation, that is, we live in a community where the support for those in Special Olympics and served by the board of DD is phenomenal. We know how lucky we are. You know our superintendent at Mercer DD. He sees the good in what it means and how it benefits not only our folks but our community and because of that we are able to really excel. So, yeah, when I first started there, we had bowling and basketball sometimes and you know, and each I just feel like we've been so lucky in the sense that it just keeps growing and I I know it's a lot and I'm so blessed and I'm so tired and I'm so blessed. So, yeah, so right. You know we just ended.
Speaker 4:We have two basketball teams Now. We have a skills team for our folks who can't dribble or can't really understand the concept of five on five basketball, right. And then we have our competitive team for our folks who can, because there's both Right. It's a spectrum of people with different abilities. And then we have our powerlifting team. Our powerlifting team does it very well. We just had a meet in Champaign County this weekend. We have our. We have two cheer teams, a unified cheer team. Those are usually typically with our cheerleader, our ladies who maybe need a little more help, and they, of course, they work with. Actually, we have one of our cheerleaders is from St Henry, who one of our unified partners. She was a cheerleader at St Henry for their team and then came in and works with another one of our.
Speaker 4:Special Olympics cheerleaders as her partner. So they work together and then you have our. Then we have our cheerleaders who do a little, can do a little bit more, and so they have. So they have our traditional chair. So okay, so two cheer teams. We have flag football. That was new last year. We're going to be competitive this year. We're excited about it. Um, I don't want to be, I'll get in trouble. Unified golf, so that again involves the community. So I have 24 golfers, which means I have 24 partners, and these are. So they play with somebody from, um, the community who just wants to golf and then has, and then they kind of coach my, my sons do that Like it's, it's. That's an amazing program as well. We have bowling, we have equestrian, which is one of my, one of my favorites to get to watch. Did I have gosh? I hope I named them.
Speaker 3:Oh volleyball.
Speaker 4:We have unified volleyball again, which incorporates players from different teams and they meet up with ours and we travel around the state and get to play, and so we have a very active program. Um, the community is very active in our program. Um, the support of the community, um, you know, it's not free. It's free for our athletes, but it's not free to run and to to have a program like this cost money. Um, not to me, it doesn't't come to me, but to our athletes. We provide all the uniforms, we provide the horse training, we provide all of those things. It speaks so highly of Mercer County and how they see the value in our individuals and in their lives and in the value of our people. Yeah, for them to to have these experiences.
Speaker 2:Yeah, to grow and to prosper and to be able to do all the things that we all take for granted. And what a special area, I think, the farming community in general, whether it's Preble County, wayne County, indiana, mercer, dark, all Glaze, all those counties up up you know the state line from Indiana and Ohio. You know there's just something unique about the farming community and, uh, you know the hard work and the dedication and the caring for others and, and you know, just wanting others to succeed and and to be able to have the opportunities that we have. Um, you know it's an amazing, it's an amazing thing and you're doing amazing work. Um, it's, it's, uh, you know, like I said, as I, as I grew up, um, with both sides of my family, with Susie and David, and seeing those things and watching them compete and being at Special Olympic events where my Uncle Dave, or, when I was in college, we would have to.
Speaker 2:As a football team at the University of Dayton, we would go to Special Olympic events at Wellcome Stadium and we would have to stand at the end of the 100-meter dash to stop them as they ran, because they would just keep running. And it was so cool because they'd run and they'd give you a big hug at the end. You know they didn't know any better and it was just, you know, such a rewarding thing to be a part of. So a lot of work for you, but very rewarding. Um, two final questions as we land this plane. Um, is there, is there a Bible verse? Is there a quote? Is there something when, when things are challenging in your life, uh, and there's difficulties, is there something that you lean on, that that you go back on and you say, nope, this, this is where I'm at, this is what I stand for and this is, you know, this is what gets me through.
Speaker 4:Um, that's a good question. I will tell you and we just had this conversation I'm in my family. Um, I think life is. This is real life. Right, it's not. Every day is perfect. There were days we wake up not feeling like who we want to feel like, or not accomplishing what we want to accomplish, or the heartaches of just life loss.
Speaker 4:You know, for me to have that moment of you know I didn't have a typical family life which I think is unfair to say, because I feel like we never know what's going on in someone's home, even in our beautiful communities. You never know what people are really dealing with, right and? But no matter who we are, what we've lived or what we've gone through, we are beloved, and that is, you are beloved by the creator of this world, beloved, and that, to me, has always been something to fall back on. If I'm not, if I don't feel like I'm enough, or I've been told I'm not enough, or you've been told you're not enough, you are a beloved child of God. That is enough for me. That's enough.
Speaker 2:That's amazing. If you could sit on a park bench and have a conversation with someone living or deceased, who would it be and why?
Speaker 4:Oh, it wouldn't be impressive to anybody but myself I. It would be my grandfather, which makes no sense to anybody else. But that hands down. No questions asked. It would be him because he was, until I met my husband, the best man I ever knew. He was kind and gentle and good and hardworking and would tease me just in the perfect way that it made you feel more loved, and I wanted to marry someone like him. And not only did I get to do that, he milked the same cows my grandpa did, and that's not why I married him.
Speaker 4:And not only did I get to do that, he, he milked the same cows my grandpa did so and that's not why I married him. But yeah, he was just, he was just a good person and um, who grew up a farmer in Kentucky and ended up ended up in Preble County farming here. But, um, yeah, that's that's it would be, and that is not an impressive answer. I apologize. No, no, in your story it is because he was that stability, that you didn't have at home.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, he, he just, he just gave you.
Speaker 4:um, there were not a lot of wonderful male influences in my life and, uh, he was your father. Yeah, he was, he was, he was yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 2:I did a little research, came across the Bible verse. I think that, uh, embodies you and your spirit, and it it's Matthew 25, verse 40. It says, truly, I tell you, whatever you did for one of these, the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me, and I think that embodies you, that embodies your spirit, that embodies your entire life to this point of what you've done. Everything you've done has been not perfect, right, you admit that none of us are perfect but has been to his glory, you know, to serve him. You answered that call, right, and and you minimize it a little bit by, you know, I'm given a kidney, you know, but that's a big deal, you know that that is a big deal and, um, you're very humble, you're very kind and, um, I can't thank you enough for coming and it was an hour and 15 minutes, hour and a half, what'd it take you?
Speaker 4:It's an hour and 20, but I did it in an hour and 15.
Speaker 2:Sounds like a Mercer County driver. Sounds like my father-in-law.
Speaker 3:the lead foot like my father-in-law, the lead foot. Kim, you got anything to add. I do have one last thing to add, because, with this podcast, a lot of times Dan interviews people who have are going through the fire and them getting through it on the other side. But in your situation, you chose to go through that fire to donate that kidney, which shows so much of your life. You're just a servant too, but what are some of the consequences that you have because you gave that kidney? Are there side effects that you have to deal with the rest of your life because this is a fire that you chose to go through?
Speaker 4:Sure, I have to be like there's no more Advil. There's no. All medications have to be closely watched. I have to drink two gallons of water a day. To me they're minimal as a woman. There is a new scar? That is not. It's not in the place. I would love it to be. But beyond that, um, my health. I went to the gym this morning. I ran two miles this morning. I really, at this point we're three months in now um, there's no difference that I can tell no, none. But then they're not going to. And I want to tell anybody who's even considering this um, they're not going to. And I want to tell anybody who's even considering this they're not going to let you do it if they think there's going to be any negative health effect for you. Beyond those simple things, because of course, they want their numbers to look good, right, because then people will continue to do it.
Speaker 2:They're not going to allow you If you are not a good candidate they're going to tell you and you're not going to do it, so just I want to encourage that too. Speaking of that, if someone hears this story or has had it on their heart to to potentially donate a kidney, how, how do people make that connection? Is it talking to their doctor? Is it talking to someone specifically? What's? What's the way to make that connection?
Speaker 4:So for me, I just Googled um Ohio state kidney transplant center and the all the links in the phone numbers are all right there and they do an amazing. They're very communicative. They don't have to wait six months for them to reply to you. Um, they do a nice job of they're going to send you an email right away and say watch this and then get back to us. Um, you watch it and if you don't, if it's not something that you want to do, they do not contact you again. They wait for you to call back. So there's no pressure.
Speaker 2:Would you do it again?
Speaker 4:A hundred times, a hundred times over. There is nothing that has post surgery that has been anything to me. But a blessing I to be chosen for this. I just when people say things like this. That's why it throws me off a little bit, because what a blessing to be chosen to get to save someone's life. I just what a blessing and I'm excited. On April 6th, ohio State has a where they bring all of their transplant individuals in. So that's coming up in a couple weeks and my recipient, his wife, texted me and said we're going to be there, are you guys going to come and we're going to go to dinner afterwards and just to get to watch their lives flourish as this young couple, I'm so grateful to be given that opportunity.
Speaker 3:Well, and I think it says so much about you, how humble you are, for you to say that you were chosen. It's not about you making that decision and doing it. It's the sheer fact that God asked you to do it and you did it so beautiful.
Speaker 2:It's an amazing story. You're an amazing woman. I thank you again for coming down and having this conversation with us and hopefully maybe we formed a friendship here that when we're back up in the area maybe we can get together for lunch or meet your husband.
Speaker 4:I love that and I would show you all of the cool Special Olympics things.
Speaker 2:We've got some great.
Speaker 4:St Henry Special Olympic athletes that you may probably know their families so cool.
Speaker 2:Well, good, well, everybody. If you're not sharing this show, I don't know what you're listening to. This one's powerful. If you're not sharing this show, I don't know what you're, what you're listening to. This one's powerful. Um, you know the impact that Sam has had on so many people's lives beyond the kidneys uh, with the special Olympics and, and, and those families who, who have heard this story, and I think that's part of part of that Sam is, you know, the, the, the notoriety and and just like coming here and being on the podcast and being on the army and normal folk. I think that's that's part of his process. For you, yeah.
Speaker 4:I had to come to terms with that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Cause I had to pray about that. When I was first asked, like I don't know, this, I'm not looking for and my husband, I talked about it and I said, you know, I, it really was on my heart Like, but this is being asked of you too. This is not about you and it never has been about you from the beginning. This is his plan. So, and you know, and I think it's anything in life that you're doing you never know who's going to hear something that heard, something that, um, brings him glory. And if that does, then hey, it's pretty awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Well, thanks again everybody, go out and be tempered.
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