BeTempered
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BeTempered
BeTempered Episode 72 - Processing Tragedy in a Divided World
Raw vulnerability fills this deeply moving episode of BeTempered, where co-host Ben Spahr courageously opens up about processing a personal tragedy that has shaken his faith community to its core. When someone you’ve shared life with commits an unthinkable crime, how do you reconcile the good memories with their devastating actions? Where was God in the middle of all this heartbreak?
Ben allows listeners into the raw and uncomfortable reality of his journey—sharing the guilt, anger, confusion, and the difficult path toward forgiveness. His honesty reminds us that walking through grief and faith struggles isn’t a neat, quick process but a painful road that requires courage to face openly.
Together, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr widen the lens to explore not just personal tragedy, but the broader struggles we all face in today’s world. They reflect on the assassination of Charlie Kirk and the troubling rise of political violence in America. Their discussion calls out how social media often fuels division, amplifies hate, and dehumanizes those who see the world differently. Both hosts emphasize the responsibility we all share when speaking about others—especially when our words could weigh heavily on someone already battling mental health challenges.
Scripture anchors the conversation. Passages from Ephesians, Colossians, and the powerful account of the woman caught in adultery remind us that forgiveness is not just a biblical teaching—it is a life-altering, liberating force. Ben acknowledges that he is not fully at the point of forgiveness yet, and in doing so, he shows that Christian growth is rarely instantaneous. Instead, it’s a journey of wrestling, questioning, and slowly allowing God’s love to change us over time.
As the hosts remind us, our response to tragedy defines us. In moments of brokenness, we can choose love instead of bitterness. We can reach out to the vulnerable instead of withdrawing. We can take steps toward forgiveness, even when it feels impossible. Ben’s heartfelt words capture the spirit of this episode: “The most powerful language is love.”
This is not an episode that offers simple answers. Instead, it offers space for honest wrestling, biblical wisdom, and compassionate guidance for anyone trying to keep their faith alive in the face of heartbreaking circumstances.
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Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt. This is my dad, Dan. He owns Catron's Glass.
Speaker 2:Thanks, Allie. Things like doors and windows go into making a house, but when it's your home you expect more like the great service and selection you'll get from Catron's Glass Final replacement. Windows from Catron's come with a lifetime warranty, including accidental glass breakage replacement. Also ask for custom shower doors and many other products and services. Call 962-1636. Locally owned, with local employees for nearly 30 years. Kitchen's class, the clear choice.
Speaker 3:Hey, do you want to catch every episode live as it's being recorded? Log on to patreoncom slash betempered for exclusive footage, behind the scenes photos and a live recording as it takes place. Go to patreoncom slash be tempered. Welcome to the Be Tempered podcast, where we explore the art of finding balance in a chaotic world.
Speaker 4:Join us as we delve into insightful conversations, practical tips and inspiring stories to help you navigate life's ups and downs with grace and resilience.
Speaker 3:We're your host, dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr. Let's embark on a journey to live our best lives. This is Be Tempered. What's up everybody. Welcome to the Be Tempered podcast, episode number 72, Dan.
Speaker 4:Thank you, Ben, You're welcome sir.
Speaker 3:Get ready Oktoberfest 2025 is back, bigger than ever. Join us Saturday, october 4th, at the Preble County Fairgrounds in Eaton, ohio, for a full day of German food, live music, kids games, fire performers, a beer and wine garden, craft vendors, cornhole tournament and so much more. And the best part, free admission and free parking. Yes, we'll kick off things at 11 am with a special blessing and opening ceremony featuring Archbishop Robert Casey and local dignitaries. This year we're also honoring the Preble County Homeless Shelter for 10 years of service to our local community, along with other vital community outreach programs that bring hope and help to so many. This is the event everyone will be talking about, so bring your family, your friends, even your pets, for the blessing of animals. There we go.
Speaker 4:You can bring your kids Amen.
Speaker 3:Octoberfest 2025 tradition, food, faith and fun for all. Mark your calendars. Saturday, october 4th, at the Preble County Fairgrounds. We can't wait to see you there, and I don't usually bring my phone in here, but there are people on Patreon, alan, I see you out there, man. Hey, alan, I'm going to put it down because it's too distracting, but I had to read that. So anybody in the Preble County area, eaton.
Speaker 4:Ohio. That'll be this when this drops, that'll be this Saturday, right? Is that what we decided?
Speaker 3:I believe so.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so this Saturday.
Speaker 3:Yeah, ben said October 4th, right, let's go, all right.
Speaker 4:All right, what episode 72, sir?
Speaker 3:This one's on you, buddy.
Speaker 4:It's nerve-wracking.
Speaker 3:No, you're good. There's a lot of things going on in this world right now that have been challenging both personally and for our nation as a whole, and you've felt it tug on your heartstrings and I'm going to let you take over from here and then we'll see where this goes.
Speaker 4:It's a scary thing, no. So, first off, I brought notes so that way I don't miss anything, because, like Dan said, this has really been on my heart. We were going to do it a couple weeks ago, or I guess it would have been last week and maybe it was earlier this week, but anyway, just really wanted to process it through. So, um, and it's still an open process that I'm trying to process through, about this world that we live in and how, you know, we're raising a total of eight kids here in the studio, right, five for you, three for me. You're winning in that regards, congratulations. Yeah, but it's a scary world that we live in.
Speaker 4:It is and every day it grows scarier and scarier and you know just how to process the whole thing, and one thing that I try to do is try to look to scripture to try to guide my way through, and I feel like every time I read the Bible, something different will pop up and I feel like once you get baptized and that Holy Spirit's in you, that God speaks through the scripture to me. So I'm not saying I have all the answers at all, but this is just what's been on my heart and kind of what I've been processing through this past week. So I wanted to start today with something that's been heavy on my heart. Just a couple of days ago I saw the news about Charlie Kirk situation. It made me think about where we are as a society when it comes to the truth, when it comes to the gospel. We live in a country where we're constantly saying how blessed we are to have freedom, and that's true but while we take that blessing for granted, there are Christians in China, syria and across the world who are killed daily for preaching the gospel, for reading the Bible and for living out their faith.
Speaker 4:It really hit me hard last Friday when I saw a story that hit closer to home. A friend I once went to church with did life group with someone whose wife I've known my whole entire life committed an unimaginable crime. My first reaction was instant anger. Anger at him for not being a leader of his family, anger for the victim and their loved ones. But right behind that came guilt. Guilt that I had grown apart from him, that I hadn't checked in, and that there's that question will haunt me, and it's haunting me with this Like if I had, could things have been different? So where do I go from here? Where do we go from here as followers of Jesus? That's what I want to dig into today.
Speaker 3:So, um, well, here's what I can tell you. You know we've had had conversations over the past couple of weeks about that situation that really hit close to home and we're not going to get into the details of it, just just know that, uh, it it's. It's an unimaginable thing that that occurred. And you know you, you you told me about it before I'd heard from anyone else and I could just feel the pain. I could see it in your eyes, I could feel it in your emotion and how you spoke, because this was someone you were close to and you relate because they have children, they have young children. You relate to the wife in this situation and you know, I think a lot of cases, you know, you and I, we put ourselves in other people's shoes.
Speaker 3:Maybe that's not a good thing, I don't know, but I felt like that's what you were doing, like putting yourself in that situation, like why would this happen? Why would he do this to his family, to his children? And you know, the only answer I can come up with is that the devil is right there. Temptation, doubt, all those things that the devil feeds upon, is right there. Is there anything you could have done? I don't think so, ben. Yeah, you know and I know that that's a heavy burden that you carry, because you're a good man, like you care, you want to do what's right, you want to be a good Christian, you want to help others. I mean, it's evident, it's why you're sitting right here, it's why you are a part of our team at the business, because of your heart and your how much you care for others. So I feel it and I know this morning you made a Patreon post.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:What time did you wake up?
Speaker 4:Well, well, woke up at one 48, one 48, um, you know, and I went to bed at 10, so I didn't get too much sleep and it's just. It's happened a lot lately where you just kind of, all of a sudden, it's just I pop up and it just can't go back to sleep, you know, and uh yeah, so that weighed heavy on my heart and I just felt like god just kind of was not the audible voice, but just feeling him, and just you know, sometimes it's not an audible voice, it's just the him, and just you know, sometimes it's not an audible voice, it's just the Holy spirit stirring in you. And whenever that happens to me, I just kind of turn to the Bible or what question I have, and I'll, sometimes I'll just go to the internet and Google. You know what I'm feeling, what I'm dealing with. Or you know the Bible app. You can go in, you can put what you're dealing with, what you're feeling, and I, you know, just healing.
Speaker 3:And I just went to his word to try to figure some stuff out.
Speaker 4:So that's where this came from. So where do you go from here? So the first thing that I found in the scriptures it says what followers of Jesus are called to do. Right, because me as a Christian, well, me as just a human, right, I talk about anger. When I have anger, and the way that anger that I felt towards a crime that happened, I've always been like I wish I the way that anger that I felt towards a crime that happened, I've always been like I wish I could find that guy in an alley whenever that happens. And I still feel that way. And it's just, if I could find that guy in an alley, I would love to just you know what I mean, give him exactly what he deserves. And um, and I felt, you know, I feel guilty for feeling that way and I still feel that way. And that's what you got to look at inside your heart and you know Jesus calls us to be like him. And so scriptures that I found was forgive as Christ forgave.
Speaker 4:Ephesians 4.32,. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God and Christ forgave you. Colossians 3.13,. Bear with one another and, if one complaint against another, forgive each other as the Lord forgave you, so you must also forgive, and it's just those words keep popping. You know, scripture pops up about forgiving and then, you know, restoring Brothers.
Speaker 4:If anyone's caught in transgression you are spiritual you should restore him in spirit of gentleness and keep watch on yourself as, like you said, lest of you be tempted, bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. So constantly we see that the Bible tells us like you're going to be tempted and that's kind of where, as a brother, that's where I felt guilt at when I told you I a as a brother, like if I, that's where I felt guilt at, when I told you I felt guilt as a brother, right, I want to be that guy that if I've ever had a relationship with you and you're going through something, I want to be that first call, not because like, yeah, ben can fix it, but a, I'll listen and B, I'll try to pour life into you. You know, and I feel like that's my guilt, that I was kind of feeling, if that makes sense to you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, it makes complete sense. Again. It's because you're a good man and you're strong in your faith. And there's no doubt you're tempted, right? We all are. We're tempted every day. We face doubt, we face uncertainty. Those are all parts of the devil.
Speaker 4:Right, uncertainty, those are all parts of the devil, right, right and and. But what we've got to keep doing is digging into our faith. I mean, what else happened this week? Right, yeah, and there's a lot of stuff that happened this week, sadly. I mean, in Greenville, you had a young person take their life and that's where the reaching out part, you know, that's, that's where that comes into play. Um, the foundation that we're laying for our kids. We're constantly around our kids and we constantly complain and we talk about what's all bad in the world. Are we giving our kids hope? And the kids that I mean it's why I try to be in every single thing I can volunteer is try to be hope in a kid's life, right, kids' life that maybe they don't have hope in their life currently, and I feel like that's a missing thing that Christians do is we constantly complain. We don't give these kids hope. We live in a culture where it's easier to be negative, and just something we got to work on, I feel like, as a culture.
Speaker 3:Well, that, and it's the me culture, right.
Speaker 3:It's, it's you know, we all have that selfish nature in us and you know, when I was 15 years old, I didn't have social media. I don't know what that's like as a kid, I don't know what those. You know how it influences these kids in a positive way or a negative way. You know, I know, with what just happened here a couple of days ago with with Charlie Kirk, um, I'm saddened. I'm saddened for the state of our country. It breaks my heart, whether you, whether you are a Republican or a Democrat or a conservative or a liberal, whether you are a Christian or you do not believe. I just my heart breaks for a couple things. My heart breaks for his family.
Speaker 3:As a father, you know, I can't imagine the pain that his wife feels, that his kids feel, that his parents, that those closest to him feel. And my heart breaks for those people who make those comments that I've read online about just some vile hatred towards a human being because of what he believed, because he was outspoken. I mean, I didn't know a whole lot about him. I'd seen clips of him here and there and the only thing that I thought of him once I saw him was this dude is super intelligent, super intelligent and he's not afraid to talk about Christianity and his faith. He was very bold in that and beyond that.
Speaker 3:I don't have an opinion on anything else other than I'm just sad. I'm sad that there are people out there that feel that much hatred or have that much hatred in their heart. I can only imagine what they had to deal with in their life to get to that point. Yeah, I'm trying to live my life to be grateful for everything I have and I know I am blessed beyond measure and I'm super grateful for it. We just had Sean Rebush in here last week. Father was murdered, loses his grandfather at 11 years old, within six months apart.
Speaker 4:Had to watch it in a fire.
Speaker 3:Watch them die. He's grateful for his life. He's grateful for having to go through that pain as a young kid. I just, you know, I don't. We talk about it all the time. I don't know where this podcast goes. I don't know what happens and, quite frankly, it doesn't. That doesn't matter, because it's not my podcast, it's not your. You know we're doing this to spread hope and to joy and to faith and to maybe be that person you know somebody's story that they may hear that changes that one life.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so it's just heartbreaking to me that there are people out there full of that much vile and hatred and you could flip it. We talked about it, you know, I talked about it with my wife. I was like you know what's? What's crazy is you see all these comments from people, these negative comments, and I'm not even going to bring light to what they say. I mean you can imagine how vile these comments are and you flip it and let's say heaven forbid, when Obama was president, he would have been. He got assassinated. It would have been the exact same thing on the extreme conservative, republican side. People would have done the same thing.
Speaker 3:I look at it as though most of the people I hope in this world. Picture a football field 50 yards wide right, most of the people. You might be on the right side of that hash mark, but you're still inside the. You're in bounds, right, the other half on the left side, but they're still in bounds. And then you've got your, your five or your 10% that are outside the extreme right side, out of bounds and the extreme left side out of bounds. How do we get those people to get from being out of bounds to getting back in bounds, to where we can at least have some conversations that people don't go off the deep end and go to the extreme of taking another human being's life because of what they say? I mean, what happened to Jesus? He was crucified for what he said, right, crucified for what he said. I mean, think about that. I don't know. I don't know where this goes. I don't know what comes from it. Something good will come from it, but my heart just aches, yeah it does.
Speaker 4:And then you think about those comments. And you said a minute ago that we put ourselves in other people's shoes, and so you read a comment like that and it's I'm like okay, I just hate a person that I that I hate. Honestly, it's hard for me to even think of somebody that I hate. Like can you imagine if they died and you would celebrate? Like would you celebrate anybody? You know what I mean. Like it's one situation where it's like I can't put myself in, like not even in the same hemisphere of that thought. You know what I mean. Like it's out of this world that somebody would have those thoughts.
Speaker 3:It is. Yeah, it's heartbreaking, yeah, it's heartbreaking all the way around the whole, the whole state of of everything like that. Just, I don't know, I it's just. It's not even a part of any thought or feeling that I have to ever feel hatred like that or someone.
Speaker 4:So the next one that I had was show mercy, and I have two scriptures for that one and the first one's, james two, 13, for judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy, mercy, mercy triumphs over judgment. And then Matthew five, seven blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy. I mean, it's pretty clear right there. Jesus calls us to be merciful. And then I got. Love covers sin. 1 Peter, 4, 8, above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love converts a multitude of sins. Proverbs 10, 12, hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all the differences or all the offenses. You know, you just talked about what. What do we need? We need Proverbs 10. Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. It's flat out, right there. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Like, what's wrong with this world? All the hatred, yeah, and all the people in the world that want to stir up the hatred. And you know there's people that do stuff and post stuff just for clicks. Well, you know, we had a conversation with kevin about mentally. There's some people out there that are just at the so extreme mentally and not mentally healthy to where they they see that clickbait, they see that and they're like, yeah, this guy is like a Nazi, we'd better off without him.
Speaker 3:And then that's what happens, right, so talk about that, kevin, because you brought up a point. We were in here talking before we hit record that, uh, you know, I I don't know, but you but you have, uh, you have experience in in some of these mental issues that people deal with. So talk about that a little bit.
Speaker 5:Well, no matter what side and that's the problem is, everyone's choosing sides and we'll always be a divided country. Because of that, buttons can be pushed. And when people are not mentally well, mentally unstable, they're ill. You know and I'm not talking bad about them because I've been there Right, you have, you have the fight or flight mechanisms in your brain and then you also, when you are at your absolute rock bottom, you're either homicidal or suicidal or both. So I definitely feel like, unfortunately, elected officials, activists, anytime you step on a stage, you know buttons could be pushed.
Speaker 5:Buttons are going to be pushed. I mean, there's a reason you're on the stage because you have some very interesting information, some factual information or opinionated information. Either way, you have stuff that people are interested in hearing, and obviously Charlie was one of those people. So it pushes buttons and you know, usually that's fun until we take lives over spot, where they can't agree to disagree because opinions they have formed, whether it's through media, and we know how media works. You know we can't trust anything that we see in media and a lot of it is AI-generated, interrated, so, um, people get real angry and they can't agree to disagree with each other, and and that's why we're going to stay divided as a country. I think we're always going to be at war and I think incidents like this that happened uh, is just going to keep divvying us up. You know, uh, it's unfortunate, very unfortunate, but yeah that's good points.
Speaker 3:What else you got, Ben?
Speaker 4:So, and then the next one I got is comfort and reaffirm. So 2 Corinthians, 2, 7, 8. So you should rather turn to forgive and confront him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him. Just comfort and reaffirm. We all go through struggle, we all go through strife, but you got to be there for one another when we go in deep sorrow.
Speaker 3:So let me ask you this going back to that family, you know, and what happened, Do you forgive him?
Speaker 4:So that is deep and that is where I'm at and I know in my heart that this is what probably needs to happen. Right, and that's why I pull up these verses. However, no like, personally, and I'm not in a spot where I am emotionally Um, obviously I've reached out to the family like you know what I mean but no, like, I'm not in a spot where, first off, I don't know if I'm in need of forgiveness for him to like, for me to forgive him, cause he did nothing to me. My main concern, and the whole reason why I'm looking at this, is because that was somebody that I, that's somebody that I share my life with, that's somebody that my kids grew up with, that's somebody when he was away at war, we were there with his family and seeing the pain and everything. So I'm not one that needs to uh forgive. I don't feel like, uh, my anger is more for the the kids and the wife, who are just amazing people, and the pain that they feel, uh, so I don't think that I'm I'm one that needs to forgive. My main thing is is there such thing as too lost? Um, and if there's not, which the scripture tells me there's not. You know what I mean. No matter what your sin is, jesus died on the cross for us.
Speaker 4:And today I heard just I was scrolling trying to find just different verses and the different preaching of verses, because I know what they mean to me, but just to hear other people talk about it, and one of them was the forgiveness of Christ, and they drew out this beautiful picture for me. And it was, you know, the king. The king gets like 10 bars of gold stolen from him, right, and he's like whoever stole that gold, it's, it's lashes. Well, then, all of a sudden, it still didn't get turned in. Well, it's going to be more lashes. Then it didn't get turned in and then it's like, okay, there's going to be 40 lashes. Well, 40 lashes is basically the death penalty in this sentence. And all of a sudden it comes forward that it's the king's daughter, and the king's daughter is the one and he stands there and he's looking at his daughter and he has to be just. So, yes, he needs to deal with the punishment.
Speaker 4:And then, as soon as the lashes were about ready to start and they were about ready to hit him, the king runs out, takes his shirt off and covers his daughter and then he's like all right, I'm ready for it. And they're the guards like, well, I can't give you the lashes now, like, if I gave you the lashes, you're the one that's going to die. And he's like I know, hit her Like she deserves it. You hit her. And so the whole point of that is that's what Jesus did for us.
Speaker 4:You know what I mean. Like there's so many sins in this world that we none of us live up to. I don't live up to, um, and they're all equal and God died and came down here and died on the cross for all of us. What my prayer is and what I hope is that my heart that's hardened right now and that is hurt, um, I just I'm going to pray over these scriptures and just, hopefully, god, you know, help my faith. That obviously isn't strong enough to deal with this. Um, if this is something that you want me to do, you want me to reach out, uh, give me that faith, give me that strength, because right now I'm not at a spot and I think that's okay. You know what I mean. I feel like, as long as I'm open to my prayer life with Jesus, I don't feel like anything's not possible, if that makes sense.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it does completely, man, and I see the emotion in your eyes. I know you've been. I know this week's been tough for you since, you know, since last Friday when we or, yeah, it was last Friday when we found everything out and, um, you know, I just know you're battling and it's good because you're a good man, because you care, because, um, you know when, when you think you know someone and you you've had a relationship with them as a, as a friend, and you've been through different things with them and supported their family, and it's like a gut punch right.
Speaker 3:And you, just you know there's things that happen in this world that you just aren't prepared for. But that's where faith comes into play and you're you're doing the right thing, you're leaning on God, and you're just saying, hey, I don't know what to do, right, I don't know what to think.
Speaker 4:Just, I'm not ready for it and you know I know what needs to happen. Well, I think I know what needs to happen, but I'm going to pray on it Like I'm not. It's not going to be a gut reaction. I think this is what God wants me to do. I'm just going to do it and not feel completely convicted, like this is scripture, is the living word in my life, like that's what I want to live my life. Like I want to live my life like Jesus, like that's my goal and when I, when I was baptized, like that's the, it's the whole point of being baptized outward, like confirmation that you want to live your life like Jesus.
Speaker 4:So part of my emotions, which I am like I, it has me really messed up. It had me really messed up all week and I'll be messed up for a while and I think that's the honestly, I think it's the Holy spirit in me and I I know you say like shouldn't feel guilt. I probably shouldn't feel guilt, but I just think it's the Holy spirit just broken, like and maybe I can't do something and maybe I couldn't have done something, but it's almost like, hey, who's that guy that we need to reach out to. Who's the who's the person you're supposed to reach out to? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:So it's powerful.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah so, but I'm an emotional person. This is normal. I'm just kidding, it's not.
Speaker 3:I'm just kidding, it's not. I'm not sure I've seen. No, no, no, but it's okay.
Speaker 4:But I'll never apologize for, uh, what the Holy spirit draws up in me. So, just glory to God, no matter what. So, um, but on a personal level, which will, um, forgiveness. So we talk about forgiveness. Uh, growing up, there were things in my childhood that did leave some deep wounds. Uh, for years I held a grudge against my mom for things that happened. Back then the bitterness weighed on me and it weighed on her. But when I finally chose forgive her, uh, when I let go of the resentment and extended grace, something powerful happened. She found peace and I found peace. See, forgiveness didn't really, uh, erase the past, but it redeemed the relationship and through that, I felt forgiveness in Jesus of my own sins. In a deeper way, his peace felt the same place, that where bitterness once lived. That's the power of forgiveness. It doesn't just set the other person free, it sets you free too.
Speaker 3:That's awesome, man it is. You know, forgiveness is is one of those things, and we've talked about it before. That's very difficult to do. But when you realize that the person who's carrying that burden and that weight is you, and when you finally let go and you forgive, right, that's when that weight's lifted off your chest.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's for sure. I mean, I've felt it before and I know it. And, like I said, forgiveness is a powerful thing. It's not just the person they forgive, it's also for the ones that, uh, that are given the forgiveness. You know, resentment isn't what God wants for you and uh, yeah, you know what's your mom's one of your biggest fans one of our biggest fans she loves the podcast she uh yeah yeah, a huge supporter and um I I'm sure that this will mean a lot to her.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and I mean you hear about divorce a lot on the show and how it wrecks you know most of the time it wrecks kids or that's what everybody says, but it's not just a fact Like there's pain in divorce at any time and a home can be broken when a home's not broken. Um, and a home can be broken when a home's not broken. So even though your parents aren't divorced, you can still feel the weight of a broken relationship and a broken family. And uh, yeah, I love my mom to death, you know it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, man, that's great. I mean this is, this is a powerful one man. You know you're, um, you're sharing a lot of, a lot of things here, a lot of difficulties that you're in the middle of that, that we're all in. I mean, a lot of people are facing a lot of these same challenges and trying to navigate how to, how to handle. You know, like the Charlie Kirk situation and having the conversation with your kids, and you know all the I mean that murder is visible on social media. You know, my 18 year old daughter is the one that told me about it and said she saw it. Those are tough conversations to have, those are tough things for anyone to see, but they're important to have and to discuss those things and be open and to say, okay, what, how'd this make you feel?
Speaker 4:Right, and it's also a time to reflect on um social media or kids, right. I mean, I wasn't looking for it, I was looking for information and then I went watching.
Speaker 4:you know I've watched Charlie's speeches before because you know, not to get too political, but you know, I'm a religious man and abortion is a big one for me. Like that's a, that's a big thing for me. And here and on a college campus, somebody stick up for the most vulnerable, the babies that can't talk. And you know, here I'll sit in there watching some of those where he's just having that conversation. It's just an open conversation and when it got to the end and they agreed to disagree and they both had their chance to voice their opinions, it was all right.
Speaker 4:Have a great day. Yeah, you know what I mean? It wasn't no F you or anything like that it was just have a good day.
Speaker 4:And yeah, it's just it's. I'm sitting there scrolling through those and watching some of the ones where he just talks about sharing his faith openly, about Jesus and about that's the way that he wants to live, and there's a real good one. If you haven't watched Charlie, I'd tell you to go watch one. It's of him talking to men of our generation and it's one of the most powerful ones I saw. And it just says if you're a kid or you're a, you know a young adult and you're looking for a, or you're single and you're looking for a wife, you know, and you're scrolling through the internet, you're doing it wrong.
Speaker 4:And when you know, playing video games, stuff like that, he said you want to meet a great woman and you want to impress her, you go to her and you say, like my goal is to find a wife that I can lead, that I'm going to leave religiously, that's going to love the Lord, that's going to love me, and biblically. And it's not word for word, exactly how I said, but that was the whole. I mean it's about like a two minute clip, but it's one of the most greatest clips, like two minute clips that I could see to where one day, like when my kids get older, it's like, hey, look like this is what you need to do if you want to find the right woman, you know. And I think the question for him was what would you look for for a wife? And it was somebody that would want this for him, because this is what I want for me, and it was just beautiful.
Speaker 3:I hope you know all of our dedicated listeners out there. With this episode, you know we're not trying to stir up any negative emotions or feelings. I think what we're trying to do here is just have an open conversation to show you what, two Christian men, how we feel, how these things are heartbreaking and how we're just not reacting on raw emotion. We're trying to process these things. We're trying to have conversations, we're trying to discern, we're trying to pray, we're trying to listen to the Holy Spirit and so, whether you are a follower of Jesus Christ or whether you are an atheist I Christ or whether you are an atheist, I hope that if you listen to this, that you recognize we truly care. We truly care about each other, about our families, about our wives. We care about our community. We care about anyone and everyone out there, whether you agree or you disagree with, whatever our beliefs are.
Speaker 3:Let's just get better at having open conversations, not getting so upset and vile about things, and don't just instantly post comments on social media and just let it fly. Think about what you're saying. Think about how those words have actions and consequences to others and especially to young people out there listening Like what you say, how you say it can affect somebody in a way that you have no clue how it's going to affect them. Give it some thought, talk to those who you trust in and listen, just listen, yeah, right, yep. That's what I hope people gain from from hearing you and your passion, your emotion, it's, it's powerful man and it's and it's needed to be discussed, because we all face battles, we all face uncertainties. We don't know how to handle this situation. That just happened, right, right, it's tough, yeah, life's tough, yep, but we got to keep moving forward.
Speaker 4:Yeah. So the next thing I got was Jesus calls us to be like him. John 2, 6,. Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked. Then you got Philippians 2.5,. Have this mind among yourselves which is yours in Christ Jesus. John 13.15, for I have given you an example that you also should do, just as I have done to you. The Christian life isn't just about believing in Jesus, it's about becoming more like him. He forgave so we forgive. He showed mercy so we show mercy. He restores so we restore. And then I got John 8, which is kind of the anchor of the whole thing.
Speaker 4:You know, the woman was caught in adultery and she was ready to be stoned right, everybody's waiting for her to be stoned. And Jesus comes and said let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone. Everyone walked away. And what does Jesus say? Neither do I condemn you. Go on, and from now on, sin no more. The whole takeaway is Jesus gave instant forgiveness and a call for transformation. You know, that's my goal. It's just every day, just to be more like Jesus. And for my boys, that's my goal. For my boys, you know, could care less what their job is, could care less sports or anything like that. Just try to be more like Jesus. I just could carry less sports or anything like that. Just try to be more like Jesus.
Speaker 4:And then today, when I was watching YouTube 1122, they're a church out of I believe it's. Oh man, what is it? I think it's out of Jacksonville, florida. Yeah, pastor Joby Martin does that, but they had a saturated message that was live actually when I was, or it premiered on YouTube today where it was him and three other pastors while I was working out. So that's what I was listening to.
Speaker 4:And one thing that really caught me was, according to scriptures, pastors are called to equip the saints to go out and disciples. Therefore, the football coaches is even more called than the pastor. So, those who don't know Joby's story, the way that Joby was saved and baptized is he was. It was his football coach, that's who introduced him to Christ and Joby. One of the things I love about the 1122 churches they have they go into multiple prisons and they have live broadcast of their church and have pastors in those church or in the pastors of the church. They have live broadcast inside the prisons and every you know, every couple months they have baptisms and you're talking like 20, 30 prisoners. Criminals are all baptized. Wow, how powerful is that. Yeah.
Speaker 4:So you're telling me that you know, here in the world, like their sins are still sins, Like their crimes are still crimes, they still deal with their punishment right, but Jesus forgives. You know, no one's too far gone for Christ and that's hard for us to grasp.
Speaker 4:I feel like oh yeah, it's hard for me to grasp. I'm not ready to grasp that yet, but if you're able to grasp that, then you understand the power of god in my eyes and so, um, that was one of the big things he said. He said sometimes I, you know, as a pastor, it's hard because you know our, our actual duty is to equip, equip the saints, equip the church to go out in the world, you know, in the world, to the non-believers and I don't believe that's holding up signs and trying to convict people on the street corners Most powerful language, I think, is love. That's why we volunteer, right, that's right. Love on those kids. Yeah.
Speaker 4:You know, and I just felt like that, that to be live this morning while I was working, working out like some things are coincident, some things aren't, and I feel like that was one. So his big thing was football field, locker room, community is the modern day, uh, mission fields, and that that hit me pretty close today. So, um, you know, didn't Jesus didn't just forgive, he equipped people to walk differently. You want to know how to change the world? I feel like that's how you change the world. Yeah.
Speaker 3:That's awesome man. Yeah, all right, man Killed it. No, I wouldn't go that far. I uh, yeah, I apologize for my emotions.
Speaker 4:I just don't apologize for that. I think earlier in the week if I'd have done it. I mean, I think you saw my emotions earlier in the week. It's something that's weighed on me. It's going to keep weighing on me, and I hope it does, because eventually, when something like that happens and it doesn't weigh on you, I feel like that's when you got an issue.
Speaker 4:That's when you're not walking close to Christ, as if your heart doesn't break for even the worst of sins and people, and I mean even the. You know. Know we talked about the charler kirk situation.
Speaker 4:You know his uh, his family, yeah, like the shooter's family even. Yeah, you know. I mean, yeah, you could put probably a lot of blame on them, but do you know their situation? Do you know if that's who radicalized them? Do you know if they knew that he was being radicalized or whatever happened? I mean, in the days to come you'll find out out, but it's just like, even those people can you imagine you never know.
Speaker 3:You don't, you don't, and, like we talk about, everybody's got a story and in most cases you don't know it, right, and so, uh, what's a Christian to do is just, you know what's the old song? They'll know, they'll know we are Christians by our love. Right, right, you hit on it. Right, there is love. So great job, man. Thanks. Appreciate the vulnerability.
Speaker 3:Well, everybody, if you are not a Patreon subscriber, please hop on patreoncom, search Be Tempered. We are trying to build a community there. You can download that app. There's posts on there every day that we don't post on social media and again, it's just trying to to build a community, the be tempered community where we can, can be open, we can be honest, we can, can carry each other's burdens and share stories and do all those things. So it's going to continue to grow. So, if you haven't checked out Patreon, go to patreoncom, search Be Tempered and check us out. Or you can go to our website, betemperedcom. There's a Patreon tab there. You can click on it. It'll take you right to it and you also will be able to see these episodes live as they're being aired. If that's something that interests you, get some behind the scenes banter, some good stuff. So we appreciate the love, we appreciate the support. Keep taking that step, keep getting better every day. Go out and be tempered.
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