BeTempered
We believe that everyone has the potential to achieve greatness, and that the key to unlocking this potential is through personal development. Our podcasts are designed to help you cultivate the skills and mindset you need to achieve your goals and live the life you want.
BeTempered
BeTempered Episode 76 - How Faith and Grit Silence Imposter Syndrome
Doubt has a way of sounding smart. It whispers that you’re a fraud, that you got lucky, that someone else would have done it better. On this episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr challenge that voice head-on as they unpack how labels, setbacks, and perfectionism feed imposter syndrome and how faith, community, and honest storytelling cut it down to size.
We start with the hard truth that many of us chase achievement while starving for fulfillment. A bank’s refusal once said, “You’re not ready,” but perseverance and a second chance became a decades-long lesson in grit and responsibility. That same weight now shows up in leadership because hiring someone means serving the family behind their name. Along the way, we explore how vulnerability unlocks healing for both the speaker and the listener, sharing messages from people moved by recent guest stories of grief, resilience, and hope.
From sobriety to simple rhythms that pull you through hard days, Dan and Ben get practical. Plan for storms before they hit, stack small wins, and change one thing to break isolation. Scripture anchors the message in courage and identity through Ephesians 2:10, 2 Timothy 1:7, and 2 Corinthians 12:9–10, while time in nature reminds us that perspective can heal what pressure distorts. A father-son trip becomes a rite of passage when a 13-year-old battles a shark and a dad learns to stop forcing perfect moments and let God lead them.
If doubt has been loud lately, let this be your reminder: you are not an accident, you are not behind, and you are not disqualified.
Press play, share this with someone who needs courage today, and join our growing community on Patreon at patreon.com/betempered
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SPEAKER_02:I want to share something that's become a big part of the BTempered mission: Patreon. Now, if you've never used it before, Patreon is a platform where we can build community together. It's not just about supporting the podcast, it's about having a space where we can connect on a deeper level, encourage one another, and walk this journey of faith, resilience, and perseverance side by side. Here's how it works. You can join as a free member and get access to daily posts, behind-the-scenes updates, encouragement, and some things I don't always put out on other platforms. And if you feel called to support the mission financially, there are different levels where you can do that too. That support helps us keep producing the podcasts, creating gear, hosting events, and sharing stories that we believe can truly impact lives. And here's the cool part. Patreon has a free app you can download right on your phone. It works just like Facebook or Instagram, but it's built specifically for our community. You'll be able to scroll through posts, watch videos, listen to content, and interact with others who are on the same journey. At the end of the day, this isn't just about content, it's about connection. It's about building something together. Not just me and Ben putting out episodes, but a family of people committed to growing stronger through real stories and real faith. So whether you just want to hop on as a free member or you feel called to support in a bigger way, Patreon is the door into that community. Because at the heart of Be Tempered has always been simple real stories, raw truth, resilient faith, so that even one person out there that hears what they need to hear, and Patreon helps make that possible.
SPEAKER_04:Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, where we explore the art of finding balance in a chaotic world.
SPEAKER_05:Join us as we delve into insightful conversations, practical tips, and inspiring stories to help you navigate life's ups and downs with grace and resilience.
SPEAKER_04:We're your host, Dan Schmidt, and Ben Sparr. Let's embark on a journey to live our best lives.
SPEAKER_05:This is Be Tempered.
SPEAKER_04:What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, episode number 76. Sure.
SPEAKER_05:Sure.
SPEAKER_04:Hey, today's episode is just Ben and me. No guess, no script, just honest conversation about where life is right now. We've both been thinking about this idea enough. That voice that says, Who am I to do this? Or am I really making a difference? We want to talk about that today, about imposter syndrome, about fulfillment, and about what it means to find peace where God has you, even when you don't feel qualified. So with that, Ben, imposter syndrome. We've we've talked about that a lot over the past 75 episodes, and um especially one of those things that I feel a lot doing the podcast, I feel a lot in business. And so I this morning I looked up what is the definition of imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern where an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internal fear of being exposed as a fraud. Despite evidence of their competent or competence or success, people experience imposter syndrome often attribute their achievements to luck or timing rather than ability. They feel undeserving of their success. Fear being found out or not living up to others' expectations, struggle with perfectionism or overworking to prove themselves. It's common among high achievers, students, professionals, and leaders, and it can be can affect confidence, performance, and mental health if left unchecked. Is that how you feel?
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. What's what I think is crazy is because first time I heard imposter syndrome, it might have been the first time we sat down uh to interview, was the first time I think we talked about imposter syndrome. And uh I never had heard of it before. Um and then we talked about 75 Hard doing that, and then you hear Andy Frisella talk about it. And um, so the first time I really had it was probably when I started trying to do like weight transformation. I think that was when I first uh started I shouldn't say first started feeling it, but that's when it really kind of identified with it, you know what I mean? Um I don't know if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_04:So so you when you say weight like trying to lose weight.
SPEAKER_05:Right, right. So, you know, it that was when I would say that's when I first as an adult felt it. But then you go back to as a kid and all that stuff. And you know, when I think back to kids these days and already people like classifying them, putting them in certain bubbles, what you can do, putting their ceilings on them, I feel like that's where imposter syndrome starts in a lot of people.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, like hey, this is the smart kid, right? Or this is the athletic kid. Like this is all they can do, they can't be a combination of everything.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, or Lil Johnny, what's what's your dream? What do you want to do when you grow up, you know, and they're in third grade, and it's like, well, I want to play quarterback for, you know, the buckeyes, and it's like, well, that's not a realistic dream. You're never gonna get it, so don't do it. You know what I mean? Yeah. And there's sadly there's people in the world that that put labels on kids and and put ceilings on kids. And yeah. So I mean, looking back, I feel like that's where imposter syndrome starts. But then, you know, then you get to weight transformation or whatever happens, and you're dieting. It's why are you doing that? Why? Why? That's not you, you know what I mean? It's not you. And I feel like that's when as an adult you start feeling it, or that's that's when I really start feeling it.
SPEAKER_04:When that doubt starts to creep in and then you question yourself. I mean, I I battled that well my whole life, you know, with with you know, same thing like you, where your weight would fluctuate up and down and up and down, and you'd start something and you'd be good for two weeks, and then you'd get to a weekend and you go to a party, and you know, you're thinking, man, just a couple beers tonight and eating whatever food, and and then before you know it, you're off the wagon and you're you're back in a hole again. And that's it, that imposter syndrome, that's that doubt. That's that's the devil creeping in, really, is what it is, just telling you you can't do this. Like, why are you doing this? Yeah, you're not good enough to do this. You can't, you can't, you know, be persistent in what you need to do and be consistent in your daily endeavors to be able to work through when that doubt creeps in.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I've got an example. So when I was um 24 years old, and we had found out about Katron's glass, about the business being for sale. My parents came and looked at the business, and I may have told some of this story before. Dad called me and said, Hey, I think you need to come up here and check this out. So Kim and I did. We came up from Cincinnati where we were living at the time, and and we met with Jim Catron, the the owner, and uh, you know, looked at the building, and man, that was like, this is it. Like, this is what we need to do. Let's do it. And and when I get something like that in my mind, I'm a hundred mile an hour to accomplish whatever that goal is. And so I was. And um, you know, so then we got into the the nuts and bolts of the deal and the purchase and working with the bank. And we were working with uh my parents' bank. So they they were gonna co-sign because I was 24 years old. Kim and I weren't married yet, and we didn't have a lot of money, so they were co-signing for us. And I remember um, you know, we met with a couple of different banks and and we were I I was confident in my mind, and maybe it's because of my youth and my inexperience, and just I didn't I didn't really know what the heck I was doing. I mean, I had no business um owning a owning a business then at that age, and didn't know what I was getting into, didn't know the whole finance and the accounting background. I just knew that I was gonna do whatever it took to make that happen and to make it work. But I'll never forget where I was at. Uh, I was on Toby Road and it would have been uh the summer of 2003, and I was driving and I got a call on my cell phone, cell phone from uh my parents' banker. And uh I could tell by the tone of his voice, he was leading me into turning me down for the loan to buy the business. And he said, he said, Dan, this will be an uphill battle for you the rest of your life. And he said, We don't want to see your parents lose everything that they've worked for, you know, to make this deal happen. And so we're declining the loan for you to purchase the business. And that was a gut punch. I mean, it was I remember who it was that called me. I remember the conversation. Again, I remember where I was at, and I was the whole time leading up to that. Man, I was gung-ho. I was excited. You know, I had a great job down in Cincinnati. I was making good money, I was doing well. And uh here I had flipped the script. Now I'm gonna build something, right? I'm gonna take something that's that's got a good foundation and it's gonna be mine, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna grow it and we're gonna build it. And that's all I was thinking about. I thought the loan was just an afterthought. Like, this is why would this not happen? Right. And then all of a sudden, I get told no. And the doubt starts to creep in. You know, like, okay, maybe he's right. You know, what am I doing? Is this really a smart decision? You know, is this gonna put my parents in a bad situation? And that lasted for maybe a day. And then I was right back into nope, I'm gonna find the next bank. And so luckily, um, the bank that had the um the all the the accounts for Catron's glass took a chance on a 24-year-old kid. And um, you know, here we are, you know, 20 plus years later. But um, that was an experience that um I I hadn't really felt before in my life where I was, you know, I was so just gung-ho and eager and felt like I can do this. And I knew I knew I could do it, but then just a simple little phone call just plants that seed of doubt. And uh there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about that phone call.
SPEAKER_05:What uh what what kind of transformed after like a day? Like what made you think like, okay, nope, I do got this. I can like it was it your parents?
SPEAKER_04:Was it no? I I think it was just the competitor in me, you know, always being an athlete, uh, you know, as a young kid and in high school and then in the college, the competitor was like, you're not gonna tell me no. Yeah, watch me. Yeah, watch me prove you wrong. And uh, and I did. And so, but I still have that in my mind. I still remember that phone call. I still use that as a little bit of motivation when that doubt creeps in. I mean, we're in we're in a big growth spot right now with the business. We've got a lot of exciting things going on, but man, you want to talk about as an owner, you know, uh, you know, I talked to you about it. I talked to some of the people that that might be joining our team here in in 2026 about, you know, I'm not just hiring them. Right. I'm hiring their family, right? There's a there's a huge responsibility that I feel when I bring someone on. You know, when I hired you, it wasn't just hiring Ben Sparr, you know, it's it's Lisa, it's Jude, it's Cy, it's Evi, it's the whole family because you know, so many people can be affected in a positive way or a negative way if we succeed or we fail. And so that's a it's a heavy burden. And so I I'm constantly every day, I'm hit with with some type of doubt or some type of anxiety that says, What are you doing? You know, the podcast is another example. I mean, we sit here, we talk about it walking up this morning, how you, you know, you get nervous. Oh, yeah. I get nervous too, you know, sitting here and I mean, we're we're exposing our thoughts and our feelings and and stories of our lives to the world. And um, but the fulfillment in that comes from the messages that we receive from people, you know, after you you interview someone like Sean Rubush or Chuck Winings, who we had on last week, uh Misty Hollis. I mean, every single person that's been on here, it's such an amazing feeling to be able to watch them tell their story, to have that relief, you know, to kind of let everything out, to put it all out there for everyone to hear. And then like Chuck. I keep going back to Chuck because how that all happened so quickly, you know, for for him to come up and talk to us and thank us for putting out the podcast. And then the next week he and he's in my office and we're talking, and then the next week we're recording, and then the next week it gets released. And we saw him on Friday.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And how amazing was it to see the smile on his face and to know the day that he had because of how many people listen to his story about the love of his life, losing the love of his life, right? You know, being a single father now, raising, you know, two two boys in college and a younger 10-year-old daughter. Um, but to to know, you know, the transformation that he's going through in his life. I mean, that those are the you know, if if the devil comes in and says, You're no good at this, when we have someone like Chuck come on and share their story and you just watch them flourish, and uh it's it's such a fulfilling thing.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. Yeah, Chuck's seeing Chuck's transformation's been awesome. And when he talks to us and he talks about you know, all the people getting, you know, texting him. I was right by him when um one of his son's baseball teammates texted him. And it was one that he hadn't talked to in a while, he transferred to you know, Ohio State and texted him, and you can just see it in Chuck's eyes when he was reading it, how much it meant to him.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:And then so you have that aspect of it, knowing how much and he's feeling the love, how much you know it meant to people that he opened up and the vulnerability and how many people he's helping in that way. But then you see like the other aspect, like you see how much it's helping Chuck, like smiling ear to ear, like just feeling it's almost like he got the weight of the world off him. Like, you know, for a while it felt like he was battling it inside and got this pain, doesn't know what to do with this pain. And then, you know, you read Sean's book, Earn of Payment and Purpose, and then he said he just basically binge-read it, like he couldn't stop reading it. And then now to see where he's going, I mean, I there's a lot, God's got a lot to do with Chuck. Like Chuck's buried to help a lot of people. He is, and he is on fire right now.
SPEAKER_04:He is, he is on fire. And and you know, you you think back to that, you know. So I, you know, I talk about the the story of trying to get the business purchased. We talk about the beginning of the podcast, you know, all these things in in my life that led up to bringing you on to the team, to Catron's Glass team. And then, you know, that's in return starts the podcast. That in return gets the wheels turning for Sean Rubush to tell his story and then write a book. And then Chuck happens to see the name of the book, Turning Pain into Purpose, and he's in a hole in his life, right? He starts thinking, he starts listening to to Sean's story, and then he decides he wants to tell his story. So, you know, there's so many peaks and valleys in life, and it's not to say that Chuck's not gonna have hard days, or Sean's not gonna have hard days, or you or me are not. We are, right? We do. And in fact, probably every day we have moments where it's just like what am I doing? Yeah, what am I doing? But you just gotta keep going and you gotta recognize that it's it's those those times in life when you feel like you're an imposter. Yeah, you feel that doubt that no, I'm okay. This is just a learning moment. I'm gonna keep growing and I'm gonna get better because of it. So that's that's you know, the thing with the imposter syndrome. When I when I hear that, I think, I think it's just it's just doubt creeping in, and then it's that's the devil just trying to tell you that uh you can't do it. But if but it second Corinthians verse 12 through nine says, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. That's pretty powerful.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. And that's what I feel like that's the way I view imposter syndrome as well, is the devil is you know, the king of lies. Like that's the one thing he's good at. And so I feel like that's where he comes at me, you know, comes at people with an imposter syndrome. And then there's just those voices that are in your life every day, you know. It might be your wife, coworker, um, kid you're coaching, or a teammate. Um they don't try to, but they'll they'll say something that kind of feeds into that lie that the devil's using at you. You know, you you might be trying to become a better husband, maybe, and then all of a sudden your wife says something that just, you know, the devil's sitting there saying, Wait, you're not a good husband, like let's not forget where you're at, or you're not a good father. And then your kid or your wife just says that one thing and it's almost validates the devil's point. And then you just gotta remind yourself that that's it's imposter syndrome. That's what he's trying to do. And then you anchor yourself in verses like that, you know.
SPEAKER_04:Well, and the other thing too is, you know, you think about all the people that come up here and sit at this table. You know, what do they all say? I don't have a story. I don't have a story, I'm so nervous. I don't know why I'm up here, I don't know why I'm doing this. That means they're the right person, right? Because that's the devil inside of them put planting that seed of doubt, telling them, you know, what you've done in your life, what you've been through in your life is not gonna help someone. Yeah, it is.
SPEAKER_05:Right. Yeah, yeah, and that's what John 8, 4, 4, there's no truth in him. For he is a liar and he's the father of lies. That's always the devil I feel like creeping in.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:And usually he's attacking if you're sitting there and you're on the sidelines and you're not making any waves, he'll leave you alone. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:But the moment you try to start making yourself better, making this world better, then he's gonna attack you and you can expect it. And if he's attacking you, guess what? Probably doing the right thing.
SPEAKER_04:Well, and here's here's one of the things too. I I was reading through our notes here and talks about how vulnerability leads to healing, both for the the person who's telling their story and for our listeners. You know, when someone's vulnerable, it's amazing what it does to others, how it opens them up and it it humanizes them. You know, it humanizes them, it humanizes their story. And so on Friday, when Chuck's this last Friday, when Chuck's episode aired, I got all kinds of messages from people. And this one is is from a listener from Columbus. And um, I'm just gonna read you what she wrote me. She said, just listen to episode 75. I'm not going to lie, that was a gut punch. I cried all through Chuck's story, reliving my husband and I's journey. I pray that Chuck finds strength to get through each and every day. Still having kids at home, I think, would be a blessing. We all find strength for our kids. Thank you for another great episode. Keep them coming. I'm downloading the Patreon app soon, as soon as I hit send. You know, and you get messages like that. You know, it's it's so powerful and rewarding to know that there's people out there who to listen to Chuck's story, to listen to Misty's story, to Deb's story, to Sean's story, to all these stories and and are impacted in a way that, you know, they take an hour, hour and a half of their day to listen to someone being vulnerable. Someone who, you know, a month ago didn't have the strength to come in here and sit down, really, to even talk to us man on man about, you know, difficulties they were facing. And now it's it's all out there. And now he's finding strength in that.
SPEAKER_05:He talked about how it was hard for him to come up and talk to us that Friday night. I talked to Chuck. So I met Chuck two years ago, well, going on two years ago. On Friday nights, I'd see him every Friday night for recording the game. So we talked before and just that, just to say thank you, like how hard it was. And then all of a sudden he did that, and then yeah, it snowballed quickly.
SPEAKER_04:It did. Yeah, it was very powerful. Yeah, so then we talk about fulfillment versus achievement, redefining success. So, you know, the tension between chasing success and finding true contentment. So, you know, when I when I read that, I think about the competitor, right? Whether it's in sports, it's in business, it's in life, it's in my fitness, it's in this podcast. Like the competitor in me wants to be the best, wants to be the best at everything that I do. And that's that's what I I work towards and I strive towards. But what I've what this podcast has really done for me is to show me that it's it's not about those achievements. It's more about that fulfillment. It's more about like what we talked about, like seeing someone like Sean or like Chuck to watch them, you know, just to stand back and to watch like all day Friday when Chuck's up. Like I knew that was going to be a powerful one because that was one of the first ones where I sat here and it was very, very difficult for me to hold back the emotion. Oh, yeah. Because we have young kids, you put yourself in that that situation and you think about that being your wife and how you would handle all those things. And that the just I mean, it's it was it was very, very difficult, but the fulfillment to watch him, you know, to watch him thrive and and to be, you know, for him to be fulfilled as well. It's such an amazing feeling. And for me, that's a little bit of a transformation is I still got that competitor in me. Yeah, I still want to be the best. But what's more important is to help others share their stories so that they can be fulfilled and that they can heal and recover from what they've been through. So I that's that's one of the things that I have learned by doing this.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. It's I mean, and there's people that you don't realize that listen to it that will reach out. I have two or three friends that back in school we don't talk at all. I mean, we you know, in school we talked and then you grow apart, and I'll still get just about weekly texts from them, weekly messages like, man, you don't understand how much this podcast is helping me. You know, I'm in a dark spot right now, but you know, this is helping me a lot. Like, thank you. And you just don't realize who are you're helping in. So it's f you know, fulfilling, like that's fulfillment for me too, is just the people that you help. And you know, we're multiplying now because originally our goal was one. You know, first podcast, we're thanking our parents for listening, and uh we're moving on. Now you got people that believe in the community, believe in what we're doing, and yeah, believe in the mission. Yeah, wanting to subscribe and do it with us, and it's amazing.
SPEAKER_04:It is amazing, and and man, am I so grateful. Um, and and again, just trying to to figure out where where we take this and where it goes. We've got a lot of exciting things coming up in 2026. And um, you know, just the other the other thing is is redefining what it means to be enough in God's eyes. You know, the imposter syndrome and unfulfillment both stem from the same lie. You're not enough. Yeah, we are right. We're enough. And and you are enough if you're out there listening and you feel like you're lost in the sauce. I mean, Kevin just shared a you know, a story with us about uh about his friend coming out of um of recovery for the how many times? Fourth, fourth time coming out of alcohol recovery. And where's he at right now?
SPEAKER_01:Back on the sauce. Doesn't want to quit it. Bad enough to where you worry about his health. Oh yeah. I mean I if if he was dead right now, I wouldn't be surprised.
SPEAKER_04:So what do we do to help people like that?
SPEAKER_01:You can't, other than set an example and hopefully inspire them because like I uh I've mentioned before, in 2025 we have an abundant amount of resources. But one percent of you has to want help. You know? Your your the first helping hand has to be your own hand. So without that, I mean you just hope that they can accept some responsibility and accountability somehow and then uh move forward.
SPEAKER_04:But so if he's listening to this, what do you say to him?
SPEAKER_01:Quit freaking drinking. Everything else will figure you'll be able to figure out, but But you know that's not easy.
SPEAKER_04:You were in that position.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I hit complete rock bottom though. That's and that's the thing. It's like, are we there yet? You know? I feel like some people don't hit rock bottom and then realize, oh crap, like I have to change something. I think I think a lot of us get bailed out right before we hit rock bottom. So then we always have that crutch in our mind of like, oh, something or someone will always bail us out. Organization will always bail us out, something somebody will bail me out. But uh at the end of the day, you gotta bail your own ass out before anybody else can.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, and uh, you know, that's heavy stuff. It's um, you know, it's it's challenging to watch people go through the fire, you know, and and and actually have had a couple conversations with some people who want to share their story, but I think they're still in the fire and trying to navigate what that looks like for them and try to help them, to guide them, to encourage them to continue to, you know, be vulnerable with their story and to open up and to pray, you know, to find that person who they lean on to have a conversation with and open up uh is important. And um, you know, there's there's just there's a lot of things to navigate in this life that can pull you down. Again, that doubt, that fear, that anxiety, all those things that we all face on a daily basis. But just continuing to take that step to to get out of your, you know, like Kevin talks about his his friend, you know, he's basically in his house with his blinds closed, right? You got to get out of that situation.
SPEAKER_01:You have to, you, you have to help yourself somehow before anyone else can help you.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Yeah, you got to get out of that situation. So if you feel like you're stuck, change something. It could be just something as little as opening the blinds in your house, as little as opening up that front door and going sitting on the front porch.
SPEAKER_01:Well, and we even had the conversations because you know you got to stack your good days and then you're gonna have bad days. Um your goal in life is to get them further and few between. But I said, even even if you're depressed, sad, you don't want to leave your house, you don't want to leave your bed, you don't want to leave underneath your covers, whatever, just don't drink. Like if you got to shut the day down and try to restart tomorrow, that's fine. Just don't drink. Because then those days are going to get further and few between. But get a game plan for those days, you know they're coming. Right. You know how can you anchor? And I I still have we all have those days. We all have those days. Right? You so it's how you handle those days.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Do you do you want to multiply them or do you want to divide them, you know?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Well, we'll continue to pray for your buddy and hope that man he can take that step. And if you're listening, change your situation, man.
SPEAKER_05:It's one of the hard things too, I think, trying to somebody battling like alcoholism or somebody, whatever it is in life that you're battling. Uh, you know, today we're talking about imposter syndrome. One thing I was thinking is how hard it would be to battle imposter syndrome if I wasn't if I didn't believe, you know, if I wasn't a Christian, if I didn't believe in Jesus. You know what I mean? Because a lot of the stuff that I anchor myself with, like if I'm having a bad day or something, who am I? Like, who am I and I go to the word?
SPEAKER_01:It'd be impossible because you wouldn't have any hope. Right. So exactly. So as dark and gloomy and everything as everything can be, you have to have hope somehow. Like you have to. Picture yourself in a better spot. You know, you have to have hope to you have to have something to grasp to help get you there.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. Just something, you know, three verses that, you know, for we are his workmanship created in Christ for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2 10. Timothy 1 7, for God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. And then 2 Corinthians 12, 9 10. But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my powers is made perfect in weakness, for when I am weak, then I am strong. You said that one, but my goodness, like I feel like that that verse, like we're all weak. Nobody's perfect. We all have battles. We all struggle. Don't be scared to talk to somebody about it. Don't be scared to open up about it. Because when you're weak, then you know your faith is strong. And uh, you know, there's sadly, I you know, I'm at I'm 37. I've buried quite a bit of my friends in, you know, tragic car accidents or you know, drug overdoses. And I can tell you the funerals that you go to where there's zero hope, where you know, you don't know.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:It's the most depressing and the most sad and heartbreaking, what can I do moments. And then there's those moments where you knew they were a believer, you knew where they were going. And it's just like, yes, it still sucks for us that they're not here and stuff like that, but you know there's gonna be a day where you're gonna be with them again, and it's those moments I I you know you hang on to. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, hope is a powerful thing, and you know, if you're out there and you feel like you don't have any hope, go for a walk. Be in nature. You know, I did that yesterday. I went out and and I hadn't been in the Arboretum in a week because we've been on in the middle of harvest on the farm and we're very busy at the glass shop. And I finally got out yesterday and I was like, no, I'm going for a walk. And I got out in nature, and you know, we had a big season change here, right? With 80 degrees on Saturday, Sunday was nothing but just rain and dreary skies. Yesterday was beautiful, 60 degrees. You know, it's it's what I would say is perfect weather uh for me, and the leaves are falling, there's color. You know, when you get outside and you get in nature and you get in God's beauty, it it puts me in a whole different realm. Doesn't matter what I went through yesterday, doesn't matter how upset I got about something that had happened, that's the time for me just to be at peace and just to walk and just to to let things go. And I think it's it's such a healing process to do that, to get out in nature, even if it's just going outside, taking your shoes and socks off and letting your feet touch the grass. Like that can be a healing process if you can't get out and walk. If you can get out and just just feel that sunshine, let that sunshine hit your face. You know, if you can go for a walk, get outside and go for a walk, get into nature, you know, be outside, listen to the birds, notice all those little things. What Chuck talked about when he went on vacation after he lost, lost his wife. She loved cardinals. They go to the beach, he walks outside, and the first thing he sees at the bottom of the stairs when they're going to the beach is a cardinal. Yeah. You know, you start to notice those things when you find hope, when you start to see positive things in in life. You start to notice all those little things. And is it God? I don't know. I'd like to think that it is. I think I think it's it's God giving you signs of, hey, I'm here. I'm right beside you. No matter what, I'm right beside you. And so, you know, if if you're feeling like you're not enough, you feel like you're unqualified to leave, uh, to unqualified to lead, to make an impact, maybe that's exactly where God wants you. Because that where that's where he does his best work. You know, in our darkest, deepest moments, that's when we really find out who we are. You know, watching people step into freedom has reminded me that fulfillment doesn't come from being recognized, it comes from being refined. So what else you got?
SPEAKER_05:I was just gonna say you talked about nature. Um I we talked about before about the you know, read a book called Play the Man. And uh it's all about in in all these different cultures, you have a a spot where the boy becomes a man. You have these um rituals or you know, uh a time. Well, play the man, you know, there's wanted this whole year to be the year discipleship for Jude. And uh had all these things planned out. Well, at the end of the year we were wanting to go Grand Canyon, like it'd be awesome to hike it. And you know, we didn't didn't do it exactly how we wanted to. I think it was our live event. Matt Roder was like, well, you know, it'll all work out. You know, it might not be exactly how you want to. So this week, uh, well, I guess it was two weeks ago, we decided we'd take the boys were off school Monday. So Friday after the football game, Lisa and I drove to Destin, Florida with Jude.
SPEAKER_04:And Jude is how old?
SPEAKER_05:13. Yeah. So he just turned 13 October 2nd. And so my goal was to always have like that experience where they know like that's it's a spot where it's time to stop being a boy, let's be a man. And uh I wanted to plan it out so well. Like I wanted it to be perfect, you know, like we'd be going up the Grand Canyon and you know, the sun's rising, and it's like, son, you're a man now. We've been hiking, you know, 20 miles all night. And um, but you know, that didn't work out. So we go to Destin, and it's it was one of those, like, hey, let's see if we can make this thing work. So if we, you know, originally it was Outer Banks rain, it was gonna pour the whole time. We're gonna camp out on the beach. Okay, scratch that. So Lisa finds on Airbnb there's a camper in this guy's backyard in Destin, Florida. In Dustin, Florida,$100 a night. So it's like, okay, we'll we'll rock out this camper. So we drive 12 hours, so we get to leave at 8 Friday to go down to uh to Destin. We get there at 9 a.m., walk the beach. Jude and I do pier fishing, catching like all these different fish. We figure out all these fish have uh teeth no matter what it is in the ocean, like everything has teeth. So uh, but Lisa scheduled like a charter. It was like an inch or charter that's you know, we drove 15, like probably 15 minutes out in the ocean, and so we're going and it's awesome. We're fishing. Lisa's out fishing us because she has two hooks and she paid the guy extra or something. And she and so she outfished Jude and I. But um, there's a point where we get to, and the whole time you're in Florida, that's the only thing you can see is just God's how big God is.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Like you look to the left, I see no land. You look to the right, see no land. Yeah, you know, look straight ahead, no land. Like it is just huge. And uh so the whole time, you know, I kept telling Jude, like, man, like you realize how awesome this is, like, that's how great God is. Like no limits at all here, right? So Jude and I are fishing on the side, and he gets a big one, all of a sudden the line snaps. I get a big one fighting, and all of a sudden my line snaps. Our captain goes, This is you guys are getting sharked. Like there's a shark down there. And so he goes, June, you just turned 13. You ready, buddy? And hooks up this big tuna that's been filleted that we've been using for bait. So it's basically the carcass of it. Just tosses it out behind the boat. He's like, As soon as it goes, it's that's yours. So all of a sudden, I don't know, probably 10 minutes later, you just hear that line is just running. So for about 15, 20 minutes, Jude battles the shark. And it is awesome. Jude versus the shark. Jude versus the shark. And you just uh like seeing the I wouldn't say pain, but he's exhausted. Like Jude is exhausted. Like he could see it, like I took I was taking a video, then at one point, like I stopped, like I he just hear the last thing I say is like, Jude, you okay, buddy? And he would just you could he had a bruise on his like stomach from it, and every time that shark would get up there, it just zzz right back down. And so he ends up getting it up, and you can just see that on his face, just that like holy cow, like I did that. Yeah, like this is what I did. And when he's fighting that shark though, like the only thing I can think of is man, like I had this all planned out. Like the moment that Jude becomes a man, like you know, there's boyhood, and then you want to start raising him to manhood. And it's like I planned that all out.
SPEAKER_04:Didn't work out, you know what I mean? It worked out just nice.
SPEAKER_05:And then all of a sudden, like he's fighting that shark, and then it just hit me like not my plan, like God's plan. Like I want Jude to be a man of God. But what do you think God wants? God wants you to be a man of God, like he's got it. Stop trying to plan it all out, like it's gonna work. And I don't know, it was just one of those moments where it hit me like a ton of bricks, and it was just like So what did that couple three days mean to you? No, it meant the world to me. You know, we uh we did nothing like you would imagine. I mean, we did the the fishing charter, but other than that, we sat on a pier, sat on a jetty, and fished. And it was just me, my wife, and Jude, and just that's all we did. It was just relaxing. Uh Jude realized that he wants to drop out at the age of 16 and become a seaboat captain. So he figured out and mapped out the rest of his life. But it's just uh I feel like a lot of times I stress about like the where my kids, um, how they're gonna grow in faith, how they're gonna grow. You gotta do everything right, you gotta do it by the book. And it's just that was God's reminder to me. Like, hey Ben, like as much as you love your boys, guess what? I love your boys even more, and I love you, and we'll handle it. So it just pretty awesome. Yeah, it was an awesome experience. Yeah. One I'll never forget, and I don't think Judy will ever forget all of that.
SPEAKER_04:Well, he's not gonna forget that shark for sure. No, or the time he was able to spend with his mom and dad.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, it was awesome. And you gotta drive the boat, which praise God that we have survived.
SPEAKER_04:That's good. All right, let's close this in a prayer. Lord, we thank you for using imperfect people to do your perfect work. Thank you for the stories you've brought to us at this table and for the healing that happens when truth is spoken. Help us find peace in your purpose and fulfillment in your presence. Amen. Amen. Everybody, we asked if if you want more Be Tempered. You you've obviously on the podcast at the opening, you hear our intro to Patreon, which is Patreon is an app that you can download from your app store. And if you search Be Tempered, you can go and be you can subscribe to be a free member if you feel called that you want to give to help us to continue to put this podcast out. You can also be a paid member. There's different tiers that you can do, but every day we put something out on Patreon, and it's always something different than what we put out on the social media. So if you want some more, be tempered. Um and I can tell you there are some there's some big things coming in 2026 that we're going to add that's that's gonna basically just be through the Patreon app. Um, some events that we're gonna do and some things that we're going to host, um, possibly a monthly Bible study that we might do. I mean, there we've got a lot of ideas and things that are coming, but they'll all be geared through the Patreon app so that you know those that want more be tempered and and our mission of helping that one person out there can be a part of that community. So for those that are on there, uh we hope you uh enjoy what we put out and and the things that we talk about, um, we get a little more personable, personal in our lives and and some of the things that hit us on on you know whatever day it might be. So uh and and for everybody else out there, the only other thing I ask and that Ben and I ask is that, you know, if if there's a story that you hear, if there's a podcast that you listen to that has touched you in some way, is we just ask that you share it. We ask that you share it whether that's through social media, whether that's through, you know, sending the the iHeart podcast app to one of your friends who you think is going through something that might need to hear a story that might be related to to Chuck Whinings or to Deb Tentsman or to Misty Hollis or to any of these people that we've interviewed, share that. That's that's how we continue to grow. That's how we continue to do what's number one for us is to help people get through whatever difficulties they're facing. So we thank you for the love. We thank you for the support. We'll keep this thing rolling. Next week we've got a pretty cool episode coming. Uh happens to be one of the Schmidt kids.
SPEAKER_05:The best Schmidt kid, right?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, you don't put me in that spot. One of five best Schmidt kids. There you go. Yeah, so it should be an interesting one. 18-year-old daughter Leah is gonna come on here and uh it's gonna be interesting. I don't know where it's gonna go, but I'm excited for everybody to hear it. And I'm excited for Leah uh being a senior in high school and and uh for her to share her story and and to get some insight on on what an 18-year-old girl's life is like and her thoughts and feelings and all those things.
SPEAKER_05:So all of our Patreon members already got a little taste of Leah.
SPEAKER_04:They did, yeah.
SPEAKER_05:And uh yeah, I mean, not what I expected. I mean just strong in faith and just amazing.
SPEAKER_04:So pretty powerful, yeah. Yeah. All right, everybody. Thanks again for everything. Continue to like and support and go out and be tempered.
SPEAKER_00:Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt. This is my dad damn. He owns Catrin's Glass.
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SPEAKER_00:Patrons, a clear choice.
SPEAKER_02:I want to share something that's become a big part of the Beatempered mission: Patreon. Now, if you've never used it before, Patreon is a platform where we can build community together. It's not just about supporting the podcast, it's about having a space where we can connect on a deeper level, encourage one another, and walk this journey of faith, resilience, and perseverance side by side. Here's how it works. You can join as a free member and get access to daily posts, behind the scenes updates, encouragement, and some things I don't always put out on other platforms. And if you feel called to support the mission financially, there are different levels where you can do that too. That support helps us keep producing the podcasts, creating gear, hosting events, and sharing stories that we believe can truly impact lives. And here's the cool part. Patreon has a free app you can download right on your phone. It works just like Facebook or Instagram, but it's built specifically for our community. You'll be able to scroll through posts, watch videos, listen to content, and interact with others who are on the same journey. At the end of the day, this isn't just about content, it's about connection. It's about building something together. Not just me and Ben putting out episodes, but a family of people committed to growing stronger through real stories and real faith. So whether you just want to hop on as a free member or you feel called to support in a bigger way, Patreon is the door into that community. Because at the heart of Be Tempered has always been simple real stories, raw truth, resilient faith. So that even one person out there that hears what they need to hear, and Patreon helps make that possible.