BeTempered
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BeTempered
BeTempered Episode 77 - Leah Schmidt on What Matters the Most in Life
Senior year can feel like standing on a cliff’s edge, and Leah Schmidt brings us right to that moment with clarity, humor, and heart. Hosted by Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr, this conversation follows Dan’s daughter as she wraps a long soccer journey, weighs college athletics, and chooses something rarer: a future built on faith, family, and balance.
From small town sidewalks to country life, 4-H chores, and the day a goat didn’t make it, Leah shows how responsibility and loss shape character long before resumes do. She walks into a new club team where no one knows her name and still finds her voice. She explains why she stepped away from the D1 chase to protect what matters most. Church and camp helped turn prayer into a real back and forth. A raw breakthrough from her dad during a rite of passage reframed vulnerability as strength and growth as a choice.
You’ll hear about the lively chaos of five siblings, firm consequences with love, and how a teen cleaning business quietly teaches service, standards, and grit. If you’re a parent guiding without smothering, or a student deciding who you want to be beyond the next game or grade, Leah’s story offers honest encouragement that growth lives just past comfort and grit comes from losses you carry well.
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Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt. This is my dad damn. He owns Catrin's Glass.
SPEAKER_04:Thanks, Allie. Things like doors and windows go into making a house. But when it's your home, you expect more, like the great service and selection you'll get from Catrin's Glass. Final replacement windows from Catrins come with a lifetime warranty, including accidental glass breakage replacement. Also ask for custom shower doors and many other products and services.
SPEAKER_02:Patrons Glass, a clear choice.
SPEAKER_03:I want to share something that's become a big part of the BTemfered mission. Patreon. Now, if you've never used it before, Patreon is a platform where we can build community together. It's not just about supporting the podcast, it's about having a space where we can connect on a deeper level, encourage one another, and walk this journey of faith, resilience, and perseverance side by side. Here's how it works. You can join as a free member and get access to daily posts, behind-the-scenes updates, encouragement, and some things I don't always put out on other platforms. And if you feel called to support the mission financially, there are different levels where you can do that too. That support helps us keep producing the podcasts, creating gear, hosting events, and sharing stories that we believe can truly impact lives. And here's the cool part Patreon has a free app you can download right on your phone. It works just like Facebook or Instagram, but it's built specifically for our community. You'll be able to scroll through posts, watch videos, listen to content, and interact with others who are on the same journey. At the end of the day, this isn't just about content, it's about connection. It's about building something together. Not just me and Ben putting out episodes, but a family of people committed to growing stronger through real stories and real faith. So whether you just want to hop on as a free member or you feel called to support in a bigger way, Patreon is the door into that community. Because at the heart of Be Tempered has always been simple real stories, raw truth, resilient faith, so that even one person out there that hears what they need to hear, and Patreon helps make that possible.
SPEAKER_04:Welcome to the Bee Tempered Podcast, where we explore the art of finding balance in a chaotic world.
SPEAKER_05:Join us as we delve into insightful conversations, practical tips, and inspiring stories to help you navigate life's ups and downs with grace and resilience.
SPEAKER_04:We're your host, Dan Schmidt, and Ben Sparr. Let's embark on a journey to live our best lives.
SPEAKER_05:This is Bee Tempered.
SPEAKER_04:What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, episode number 77. That was quick. Almost like you wanted to say it so quick so you didn't forget. I did. Hey, today's episode is a special one for me. I've had the privilege of interviewing so many incredible people over the past year and a half. Leaders, overcomers, the world changers. But this one hits a little closer to home. My guest today is my daughter, Leah. Leah is 17, almost 18, here in a couple weeks, and right in the middle of her senior year in high school, she's kind-hearted, hardworking, and wise beyond her years. She's got an entrepreneurial spirit that reminds me a lot of myself at her age, always dreaming big, always looking for ways to create, build, and make an impact. As she prepares to graduate and begin her new chapter, applying to colleges and planning to study business, I couldn't be more proud of the young woman she's becoming. She's thoughtful, driven, compassionate, and not afraid to put in the work to chase her dreams. So today we're turning the mic towards her. We're going to talk about what this season of life looks like through her eyes, her hopes, her lessons, and maybe a few things she's learned growing up in our crazy, faith-filled, hardworking family. Leah, welcome to the Beat Tempered Podcast.
SPEAKER_00:Thanks for having me.
SPEAKER_04:I want to be very clear because there are four other Schmidt kids at home or at school.
SPEAKER_05:And Leah's the favorite.
SPEAKER_04:Yes. And you are not at school right now because you're taking some college classes. So you're not skipping school. Let's be clear that so we don't want to get the truancy officer over here. Um but I did not force you into this.
SPEAKER_00:Um, yeah, true.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:But it would have been if I said no.
SPEAKER_04:Well, no, I wouldn't have made you do it.
SPEAKER_00:Some guilt tripping.
SPEAKER_04:Well, I might be good at that. I think Sean Rubush calls me a bully sometimes. Um but no, you know, you're in a unique position right now as a you know, almost 18-year-old. You're in your senior year of high school, and we were kind of, Ben and I were just reflecting back on, you know, our time when we were 17, 18 years old, and you're getting ready to make the transition into the real world, whether that's college or work or whatever that is. In your case, you know, you're looking you're looking at colleges, but you know, the world is a lot different now than it was when I was in school, when Ben was in school, than it is right now for you. We didn't have all the social media, we didn't have the instant news. I mean, we had to read a newspaper, we had a phone hanging on the wall, or at least I did.
SPEAKER_05:I had a newspaper class.
SPEAKER_04:I had a typewriting class.
SPEAKER_05:I believe it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. And I'm not sure. It's not funny. Oh, I thought it was. So you're just in a it's a different world right now for you. And I just thought it would be a unique perspective to hear from someone your age that is in the middle of that senior year with you know, looking ahead, not knowing what the future looks like. So what we all we always like to do, which the yours is, you know, we just mentioned we always start in childhood and tell your story. Well, you're still you're not a child. But you still, you know, you're you're a young adult and and you are um you know you're getting ready to to leave the nest. So but let's start from the beginning. Let's start talking about childhood and what it was like for you in the Schmidt House without destroying your father.
SPEAKER_00:Well, we started living when I was born, we lived at the house on Frederick Drive. So in a neighborhood, which is different from what where we live now. But um, I have a lot of really good memories from that house because we got to hang out with all of our neighbors. So we got to experience just walking over to your neighbor's house, hanging out with kids your age, and I have a lot of good memories from that. So just like playing outside. Um, there's some funny things that have happened. Like Nate, he uh pooped his pants one time.
SPEAKER_04:We will never forget that. And Nate is your younger brother who's currently almost 16.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so uh this happened.
SPEAKER_05:And you said last year.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, last year. Yeah, but we were at the neighbor's house and he took his pants off and walked himself back over to our house. That's something I will never forget.
SPEAKER_01:I don't know how you could.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, just things like that. We had a lot of fun at that house, and then we ended up moving out to the country, which was fun because we got to watch our house be built. So going through all of that and then making memories out in the country. I remember um one of the biggest things for me to get adjusted to was the wind out in the country because it was really windy, especially compared to living in a neighborhood. So it took me years and years to get used to that. But just being outside all the time, making memories, um, playing with our siblings because you always have somebody to play with when you have four other siblings. And so just doing that and the difference between being in a neighborhood and having just like your neighborhood friends and kids your age, and then moving out to the country. It was, I mean, there's a big difference, but at the same time, I didn't really notice it because we were young. And it was just fun to be able to be outside and like play in the mud, play in the woods, play with all your animals. Like we got to get a cat. We went to um a buffalo farm, and this was where we got our first cat, Buffalo. Named a Buffalo, very original. Um but just doing things like that. It was fun to like start getting animals and um just working outside with them and learning how to take care of animals and how they rely on you. It was just a good experience, really good childhood.
SPEAKER_04:And you got to start 4-H.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Right? So talk about that a little bit. What what kind of 4-H animals did you raise?
SPEAKER_00:Um I started with pigs. It wasn't my favorite because they make a big mess. And so I had to go out and clean the pen every single day. But after pigs, I think I went to goats, and goats were a lot more fun because they have a lot more personality. Um, but I also had a goat that ended up dying on me. So that was quite the experience.
SPEAKER_04:Why don't you tell that story?
SPEAKER_00:Well, I don't, I was probably like 10, maybe. And I think it was my first year showing goats, first or second year. So I knew they have a lot of personality and they can be really stubborn. Um, but this was like at the beginning when I got them, so I was trying to teach them how to walk. Well, this goat in particular did not want to walk. So I may I'm gonna drug it a little bit. But at the same time, that's kind of how you had to break goat sometimes. So it wasn't like anything too out of the norm. But yeah, I was trying to drag it back to the barn because we didn't get that far out of the barn, so I was just done. I was like, we're going back to the pen. And um we almost made it to the barn. And at the same time, this goat was too scared, so I couldn't just like pick it up and bring it back to the barn because I tried that. But it just kept like running away when I tried to pick it up. So I was just dragging it back, and then all of a sudden it jumps up in the air and lands on its side, and then it starts sticking its tongue out and starts bleeding. So this is traumatizing for me.
SPEAKER_04:We might want to have a trigger warning here.
SPEAKER_00:Very traumatizing. And so everyone was outside, so I screamed for mom because she was in the garden, and everyone ran down, and sure enough, the goat had died. So we think it had some heart problems or something, but yeah, it was that was very traumatizing.
SPEAKER_04:So that was your first time murdering something.
SPEAKER_00:That's what you want to say, yeah.
SPEAKER_05:What year did you start for 4 H?
SPEAKER_00:Uh third grade, I think, is what it was.
SPEAKER_04:Like you have to be eight and in third grade at the same time.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So then after that, I went to showing cows. And cows was a different experience because those animals are way bigger and they can drag you around. So going from goats that you get to drag around to cows that drag you around can be really nerve-wracking. And so I had to learn how to take control and not show fear in front of them because otherwise they can sense that. And so that was a big learning process. I had to have dad's help for some cows that we had.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, learning that those animals can sense fear. Yeah, that's a that's a big, big learning experience. So that's 4-8. So talk about sports a little bit because you played quite a few different sports and and actually just just finished a career here this week. So kind of talk about early early sports as as you were a kid and and then where you're at now.
SPEAKER_00:So I started playing soccer when I was I don't know how old, but like whenever you could start then. I was really young. And so I just remember that I would always stand in line with the ball. So wherever the ball was, I would follow it on the field. So I just kind of had a sense from that age, just I wanted to learn. So for that sport, I really liked it. And so I stuck with soccer. I mean, all through my years. I would play um fall and spring for club. So until I got to high school. And then high school, I obviously played high school soccer, and then my junior year, I decided to play on a club team. Or it was my sophomore year. So my sophomore year, I decided to play on a club team. So that was a learning experience too, because I it was the first time with me stepping out and having to make all new friends. So I didn't know anybody on my club team like that would go to practices. I knew a few from my high school team, but they wouldn't necessarily go to practices all the time. So I had to step out and make new friends and experience that for myself. So that was kind of my soccer career, and then I played basketball. Basketball was lots of fun. I played basketball like through my elementary years. I stopped seventh grade, so I never actually played for the school. But we won a lot of championships, but I mainly sat on the bench and watched. I just would go in to uh be a little scrappy and steal the ball with always on the ground. So that was fun. And then um I did volleyball my seventh grade year. That was different. So we were at the fair and the volleyball coach came up to me and was trying to convince me to play. And this was during COVID, so we didn't really know if we were gonna have a soccer season. So I was like, sure, I guess I'll play, I'll try it out. And so that actually was really fun. I think there were it had its own challenges, but I think if the season would have gone a little better, it would have been harder for me to decide between volleyball and soccer. So I'm honestly really glad it went the way it did because I'm glad I stuck with soccer. Um and then I did track my freshman year. So that was fun too. That was me stepping out of my comfort zone a little bit because I I obviously knew the people on the track team, but I wasn't really close with them. So just making new friends through that and doing a sport that I wasn't necessarily like the best at, I wouldn't say I'm the fastest person, especially going up against high schoolers. But it was fun, it was a good learning experience.
SPEAKER_04:So I want to back up a little bit because I know for you when you went to that club team your sophomore year, and you were playing with all new people, you know, new girls that you really didn't know. Some of you uh some of them you competed against, but you didn't really know them. And you talked about how that was stepping outside of your comfort zone. And I think, you know, you know, part of the be tempered movement is you know, stepping outside, stepping into those challenges so that you can grow and become stronger. So talk about what that was actually like when you went to that first practice and you met those new girls and all those different personalities and how you drove yourself there. We didn't take you there, right? So you were you were on your own, um, you know, stepping into this new world with new coaches, with girls that you, you know, you'd played with a lot of girls, the same girls, year after year after year, and here you are on a whole new team with new coaches all by yourself. Talk about that experience.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it was it was hard at first because you kind of have to feel everybody out. You don't know um like everybody's personalities and how a coach is gonna treat you and their coaching style. So it was definitely a process, and my thing too with soccer is that when I'm comfortable, I can play good. But when I don't really know anybody, and like for my position, I'm supposed to kind of take control and I can see the field from where I'm at, so I have to communicate a lot. So in those cases, it was kind of hard because I didn't want to be like the girl that's telling everybody what to do because they didn't really know who I was, so that made it kind of hard. But I don't know, it was it was definitely a process because just feeling everybody out, the first practice, you kind of get the first impressions of some people, you can see things, take note of it, but then um through different practices, I really started liking a lot of the girls, so they were a lot of fun, and so I think just knowing that maybe they're not gonna be your best friends, but being able to be good friends with them and friends with people that maybe you wouldn't normally be with, that was definitely something that taught me a lot.
SPEAKER_04:So Yeah, that's pretty cool. Talk about what it's like having four siblings.
SPEAKER_00:Um it can be very chaotic, but um, I really am grateful because you always have somebody to hang out with and you have a bunch of different personalities, so you kind of get to pick and choose who you want to hang out with at any given moment. So I'm glad that there's I don't really I don't think I would thrive in a quiet house. So I'm glad that there's always noise and you can you always know that there's somebody you can go and talk to, whether like it's Nate and you want somebody to laugh with or somebody to say something stupid that's gonna make you feel better about yourself. Or you go talk to Mary, who is very loving and kind and who's gonna give you good advice or just be there to listen. Um, or you have Ryan. I don't know about the advice part, but he's at least gonna he's gonna try. And Allie is always gonna be there to listen. She she likes her tea time, so anytime we're spilling any stories, she loves to be there. So you have the different personalities, the different things that people like. So I think it's really nice that you get to pick and choose.
SPEAKER_04:I think you learn a lot about psychological warfare as well.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, if you need somebody to bother, you need somebody to get your anger out on, you just go find a sibling.
SPEAKER_04:If you need to be humbled, yes, humbled, yep. Definitely um, yeah, you can swallow your pride in the Schmidt House for sure. And you know, back to soccer, uh, you know, this this past week, you know, you're unfortunately the soccer career ended. And um, you know, you've made the decision, and we we've had many conversations about, you know, do you want to play in college or do you not want to play in college? And and you know, kind of talk about your decision and moving forward and then what it what it felt like or what it feels like now with you know, all those years coming to an end this week.
SPEAKER_00:It's a lot. I don't think I've really processed it enough like fully yet because I mean this has happened every year, you know, you end your season and then you just start preparing for the next. So I haven't really it hasn't really set in because usually we have um workouts to think of. So I think it'll probably set in more um come summer and fall time when I'm not actually playing. But yeah, um my decision to not play in college, it was really hard because I obviously really like soccer, but at the same time, I think like sports in general, some of them have been taken way too far. And I never wanted to get burnout. I wanted it to be just a place for me to kind of go and have fun and enjoy like a hobby that I have. So I I thought playing soccer in college would be fun, but at the same time, I knew that I never wanted to play D3 because just for me personally, I wanted to be challenged, which I don't think like I think that would challenge me, but I just think that I want to be wanted almost, you know, like D2 or D1, where it's more challenging for you to join a team. And at the same time, if I played, I really wanted to go D1. Like that was really my only focus. And most of the D1 schools, they really only look at certain club teams, and that was one thing that I really didn't want was I didn't want to play on a club team that that would be my whole life because I mean I have four siblings, so they're all doing things that I want to go and support and watch. And I also have just my family that I want to be a part of, and I feel like some of those clubs they're all great and they all teach you great things, but at the same time, they take up a lot of your childhood, and I didn't want that, so I think that was a big factor when it came to deciding whether or not I wanted to play in college. And yeah, I mean it was mainly that.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Talk about your faith. You know, in our in our family, uh, you know, your mom is is the pillar of of faith and um just just super strong and has been a big guiding force for me with my faith. But what's it like for you growing up in our household and and talk about your faith journey um, you know, growing up and where you are now?
SPEAKER_00:I would say it's been a big roller coaster, lots of ups and downs. Um sometimes I'm really strong in my faith, and sometimes like uh during soccer season, I feel like I get so busy that I just kind of forget about it. And so it's always, always a journey. I when I was younger, it was obviously mom and you always instilled in us that you really want to have a relationship with the Lord, and that's really important. We've always gone to church on Sundays, and that's kind of become my safe place. So, like going on vacations and still going to church, like that kind of brings me comfort if I'm ever homesick. Um, so I really enjoy that. And I would say that my faith journey really changed when I went to CYSC for the first time, which is a camp that I went to. And um, that was because I had never really experienced something like that, especially like worshiping in a room with all kids your age, and there's so many people, but just it really feels like a piece of heaven. So getting to experience that at a younger age was really special and take that home. And then also from that camp, I learned like that you can have a conversation in your prayer, and like you can hear what the Lord has to say back to you, which I feel like before that I had no clue. I just thought, I mean, you pray to God, and then it's just like a one-way thing. You might see the things that he does in your life, but you don't actually hear him say anything. So learning that was a big thing for me, and that's still I mean, it's still something I struggle with because I I like to pray a lot, but at the same time, I don't always take the time to listen. So that's something I've been working on is just just waiting and listening, sitting in silence, and yeah, I just gotta take the time.
SPEAKER_04:It's a hard it's hard, you know. It's it that's a great answer, and it makes me very proud to hear that. But you know, because you're being honest, and I think any of us, if we're if we're honest, it's you know, it's a constant battle, it's a constant journey of you know, we get so busy in everything that we do, from work to to sports to kids to everything that it's easy to become distracted. And you know, and for me, that's my my time is my walk, you know, that I usually do or my workouts. Those are my times when I I really try to to you know to listen, to do what you said and um you know, to try to see the good in all those things. And so it's it's okay that you know it's not something perfect, right? It's not going to be. That that's what faith is, is is having you know the trust that you know you can keep going, that you can, you know, that that God is always gonna be there, always by your side. So thank you for that's a good answer.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, and it's something I think that all of us struggle with. I I don't know one person that thinks they have a perfect prayer life. And busyness, I mean, that's like the devil's number one tool in my opinion, no matter what. And it's not the times that you think that you're the most busy, right? It's those times that you just get so wrapped up in life and going and going and going, and then all of a sudden you stop and you're like, yeah, I'm way too busy. Yeah, just constantly.
SPEAKER_04:And I I find it too, a lot of times where I'll where I'll pray, whether it's you know, on my walk or wherever my even in my truck, uh at the office, at home, wherever it is, it's important. I I have better prayers when I'm out in the wilderness, when I'm out on those walks, because I don't have all those distractions. If I'm at home, you know, I'll hear the kids fighting and screaming or doing whatever, or if I'm at work, you know, you got the distraction of your phone or your computer or somebody walking in or in the office or whatever. I think it's important to find wherever that I don't know, safe place is, or where that place where you can actually kind of let everything go and and truly listen and truly be open. I think that's that's really, really important in that faith journey. So, Leah, talk about what's next for you with where you're at. Soccer season just finished up. Um, you know, you're in your uh, as your your brother Nate called it. What did he say? What'd he tell you?
SPEAKER_00:He said this is usually the time where people get fat and lazy. It's really motivating.
SPEAKER_05:You got a lot to live up to there.
SPEAKER_04:So you're on you're on day three of retirement, soccer retirement, right? That's great, Nate. He's getting bashed the whole time. I love it. But what's next for you? You know, what's you're you know, we're almost to the the middle of your senior year, and obviously lots of exciting things ahead, but probably I'm guessing a little stressful, right? You know, the unknown of what you want to do, where you want to go, who you want to be. Talk about where you're at now and what that journey looks like for you.
SPEAKER_00:There's a lot of decisions to make, a lot of things to do. Um, so right now I'm planning on going to college. Not sure where yet. So I have a few different colleges that I'm applying to, and then it'll probably just come down to how much they cost and what I can afford. Um, because I think that I'll define, like I'll be able to grow and learn at any place. So I'm not too worried about that. I mean, it's just stressful having to do like scholarships and applications and stuff like that. But um, I'm planning on studying business, so we'll see where that takes me. Um and just coming out of soccer at least, I'm just now discovering why people have hobbies and why people get back into coaching. Because I really, I mean, you gotta fill your time with something. And so we've been playing pickleball. Pickleball spent fun. So I think just finding a good workout routine so you don't get fat and lazy. And um just really uh praying about and trying to figure out what I want to do um after high school.
SPEAKER_05:I heard that a lot of people in retirement play pickleball, so it makes sense.
SPEAKER_00:That's what I feel like. Just an old person out there playing pickleball, but it's a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_04:That's pretty cool. All right, some questions here. If you could give a message to your younger self or to your little brothers and sisters about facing challenges and becoming who God created you to be, what would you say to them?
SPEAKER_00:Um, I would say just be willing to grow and know that you don't have it all figured out and that y there's other people you can turn to to get advice, but also be able to kind of sort through that advice and take what you want for yourself. So don't just rely on one person all the time, just um make sure you talk to different people from different places so that you can get different pieces of advice and kind of um put those together and take it as like make it your own.
unknown:You know?
SPEAKER_05:That's a good answer. Really good answer.
SPEAKER_04:You got any questions? You you know?
SPEAKER_05:Oh, I got a whole list of questions. So excited. So what's uh what what's something that dad did to make you feel really loved growing up? Like is there like one thing that's a good one?
SPEAKER_00:Um I would say just spending in intentional time with us. So um like this is something he still does, just asking us to go on walks because we always have really good conversations on walks. So doing things like that. Um just I mean, growing up, you always knew that you were loved by him, just in his actions a lot of the times, and setting a good example for us. He's a really good leader and he has a lot of good advice, but yeah. So just always setting that good example and being someone we could look up to.
SPEAKER_05:That's a good one. You got a favorite memory? Like dad in you memory.
SPEAKER_00:Um, I would say just like our walks on the arboretum.
SPEAKER_05:That's a good answer. What's something that dad doesn't realize that he taught you?
SPEAKER_00:Um I would say this is this would be a quote from you that you told me a few years ago that I've never forgot is always when you're doing things, do it as It's like as if someone's watching you. So always do things to the best of your ability. Um I remember you told me that one time when it was during the fair and I had been walking my cow who didn't want to walk.
SPEAKER_04:But maybe you weren't walking him enough.
SPEAKER_00:Just really didn't want to walk and it was really big. So I couldn't do much about that. But yeah, just always doing something or doing things like someone's watching you.
SPEAKER_05:That's a good one. What's uh your favorite uh thing about the kind of woman that your mom is?
SPEAKER_00:Um she's really strong in our faith and she's always positive sometimes. It gets a little annoying. If you want to have a conversation with her and you're talking about something that happened at school, and it's just always like, do you know the other side of the story? What happened in those people's lives for them to be acting that way? And I remember in middle school that really bothered me because I just wanted to tell her and for her to listen. And just I that wasn't the advice I wanted to hear. But now I appreciate it because you I mean everybody really does have a story, and there's reasons why people do things. So I think that was something really good that she shared.
SPEAKER_05:I believe I she shared that when she was sitting right there in that chair. Yeah, she did. In the podcast. Um what's something mom does that makes your world feel safe?
SPEAKER_00:Um I would always or I would say that she always uh puts faith first. So if there's any an it or ever an issue, she'll just say like that you need to pray about it or you need to again like think of the other situations, like what these people are going through and take time to process it before doing anything.
SPEAKER_05:Then we'll go one more with your siblings. If what do you hope your siblings learned watching you?
SPEAKER_00:Um I would probably say that I'm not perfect and that I have a lot to learn. I know I'm still young, so uh like compared to the other people that have been on this podcast, I probably know nothing. So just that I'm really not perfect. They like to say that I'm the favorite. But I mean, I think well, I like to say that they just think that I'm the favorite because I like to clean. So that makes mom really like me when I clean the house because that's something I enjoy doing. That's like therapy for me. So sometimes if that's what makes her like me more, then I can't really help that.
SPEAKER_05:Maybe you other kids should clean a little more. And spar boys, I'm sure that'd make your mom love you a little more too.
SPEAKER_04:Speaking of the cleaning, talk about that a little bit because you you do have a little bit of uh business on that side going right now. So talk a little bit about how that got started and what you're doing.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so I don't even know how it really got started. If I think Mimi maybe said something about cleaning their church. And so I was like, yeah, I'd be willing to do that. And so I went there and she showed me how to do everything. So I started cleaning that, and then you had asked to clean your office, so I picked up that job too. And then um one of the ladies from our grandparents' church was at a tax place in town, and so they were talking about their cleaning lady, I guess. And so um they asked me if I would clean too. So then I have three places.
SPEAKER_04:So you got your own little business, eh? Yeah, yeah. There you go. That you're gonna have to pass on to someone when you go away because my office is still going to need to be cleaned. Ryan? Next. Next. I've got one here. This one hit this hit me this morning when I was running, you know, here after it was the end of June when I finished the rite of passage when we were down in um the North Georgia Mountains, and and you and and Ryan and Mary, we were all there together at the house. And um that morning when I woke up after that Monday morning when we were getting ready to head home, that's when everything kind of hit me from that 24-hour trek, everything I had been through. And you were there. And um, you know, you came out. I w your mom and I were sitting on the back deck, and uh I was a train wreck. And uh and you happened to come out, and I don't remember at what time that you came out, what you know, where I was at emotionally, but um, you know, that that was probably not probably, that was the emo the most emotional time I've ever had in my life when I I just couldn't control my emotions because of everything I had been through, probably a little bit of the pain that I was feeling from being on my feet for 24 hours. But can you talk about that experience for you, you know, seeing me in that kind of state and and what that was like from your perspective?
SPEAKER_00:Um, I think it's honestly like really uncomfortable because it's change. You watch your parents, I mean, they're growing up with you. So it's always been uncomfortable when like you or mom are going through a big change in your life. But at the same time, it's a place where everybody grows. So you see like you showing emotion that we haven't really seen before, and you kind of take note of it. And I think like for me, I was just like observing. So you can kind of see like I could tell how much that impacted you and that changed your life. And so yeah, I was really just trying to watch and take it all in. Um and yeah, I mean, it's just different, it's not what I'm used to. So I knew that a lot of good was gonna come from it. And you like I could tell before you left, you weren't even the same person, you were so nervous. So it was interesting because obviously, like it made me uncomfortable because you were uncomfortable. And but I knew that yeah, this was gonna be something that was gonna make our whole family grow. It was gonna change a lot of things, but for the better.
SPEAKER_04:So Yeah, yeah. I don't know why that hit me this morning. I just started thinking about I was like, holy cow, she she came out when I was sitting there just in a train wreck when everything, you know, all the weight of that that I just went through had kind of hit me. And and you're right, it has it, you know, that was that was an encounter that I had that you know I've never experienced before. And um, you know, it's definitely changed my perspective on life, my perspective on faith, um, you know, and where we're at today. So um have you noticed that different?
SPEAKER_05:Like have you noticed a difference since then?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I mean, since then and since you starting 75 hard, like our family has been completely different and it's been for the better. And I think it's also good like to see that emotion from you and like if mom's ever emotional, I think it's good to see that because I mean, obviously it's gonna be really uncomfortable because it's not something you're used to, but it really is it shows you that you it's okay for you to be like that too. And so just processing through all of your emotions. Like I always like to say, feel your feels whenever you're going through something. It's good to feel through that so that you can really process it.
SPEAKER_04:That's a good one. That is good. Ben, you got anything else you can think of? Any questions for this young, almost 18-year-old?
SPEAKER_05:I got a little rapid fire.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_05:So who's more strict, mom or dad?
SPEAKER_00:I don't know. I wouldn't really say either.
SPEAKER_05:Neither?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I feel like neither of them are that strict.
SPEAKER_05:That's a good one. So we're pushovers?
SPEAKER_00:No, I wouldn't say pushovers. I think that you guys can trust us. So you don't really have to be strict. And that's like we uh trust to have conversations with you. So I mean, if you're ever gonna do something, we'll probably tell you or you'll find out after.
SPEAKER_04:I hope Ryan is listening.
SPEAKER_05:Y'all leave me leave Ryan alone, okay? I got your back, Ryan. Which parent gives you the longest lectures?
SPEAKER_00:Um I would say mom, but I wouldn't even say it's a lecture. It's more just like guidance. Yeah, and therapy for her and for me. Like she likes to have I think we probably talk the most out of all of us kids. And so just I don't know. She likes to not necessarily rant, but like tell her side of things, and we'll just have a conversation. That I mean, he just likes to give advice.
SPEAKER_05:Just the one-word advice. That's what I do. That's what you do. Who's the most dramatic in your house?
SPEAKER_00:Oh, I don't know.
SPEAKER_05:Maybe uh it could be your siblings too.
SPEAKER_00:I don't know. I would say sometimes Mary. Mary can be really dramatic. But I would say everybody can have their moments.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. I was gonna say your dad, probably, but oh man. All right. What's mom in one word? One word to describe mom.
SPEAKER_00:Loving.
SPEAKER_05:Dad.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, I don't know, a giver.
SPEAKER_05:Giver is a good one. What about your home?
SPEAKER_00:Just one word. Like chaotic sometimes. Yeah. Just full.
SPEAKER_05:Your family? One word.
SPEAKER_00:Happy.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. That's a good one. My kids like that's what I hope they say about my family. Happy.
SPEAKER_04:Most of the time.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. Um success or happiness. I think you probably have to do that. I would say happiness. Yeah. And I think that's pretty much it on the rapid fire. Other ones. Well, here we go. Faith, family, or friends, which one grounds you the most?
SPEAKER_00:Faith for sure.
SPEAKER_05:That's good. Who's phonier, mom or dad?
SPEAKER_00:Um I would say they each have their moments. Dad maybe more consistently, but mom, if she says something randomly, then it's gonna be extra funny.
SPEAKER_04:Any questions you got for me or for Ben?
SPEAKER_00:I don't think so.
SPEAKER_04:No, you don't need any advice?
SPEAKER_00:Oh no.
SPEAKER_05:This is the time. This is the time. I will tell you the the Patreon that you did with her where you talked about your college, I believe it was what's the college essay?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:You talked about you know, you're not perfect and all that, which nobody is, but that essay was absolutely amazing. Like, and I feel like every single person would learn something from that.
unknown:Well, thank you.
SPEAKER_05:Everybody has a testimony, and when I listened to it like four or five times, I sent it to Lisa, I know she would listen to it a whole bunch. And I mean, that's what you're praying for a high school student to be like, to have that kind of faith, to understand all that. It was really inspiring. So thank you. Yeah, I'd imagine you get into any college with that essay.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, yeah, it was powerful when I read it. That's why I was like, okay, I'm gonna record you reading this. Yeah, and we're gonna put this on Patreon. So yeah, it was it is powerful. It certainly, you know, you make me proud. All you know, you're all the kids, you know, Allie, you, Nate, Mary, and Ryan. I mean, um, it it's such a um it's so fulfilling as a parent just to watch you all grow and have success and to learn from failure. And you know, we don't do a lot of things a lot of parents do. You know, you you talk about college and um, you know, we put that on you guys. And uh, you know, a lot of people take care of all those things, the scholarships and the applications for their kids. And and that's okay. I'm not saying it's right or it's wrong, but you know, that's something that your your mom and I discussed, and you know, is very important to us is to, hey, if this is the next step for you, we've gotten you to this point. Now it's up to you to take it from here and to see where you go. Because we want to have that buy-in for you to um, you know, one, to feel a little bit of pain. I think it's important, you know, to feel some financial pain and some financial uh pressure because that's gonna be life. You know, life is is not all sunshine and rainbows. I mean, it's it's tough, it's it's challenging. And and if you can learn that at a young age and learn how to budget and to, you know, when there's scholarship opportunities to apply for them and and if there's a time to write an essay, you know, to to be vulnerable and to share that story and and to be open and honest. Those are all important things. And and then we may do it a little different than others. And um, and again, I'm not saying that it's right or it's wrong, but it's it's so awesome, you know, to see like Allie, your older sister, you know, she went through that whole process and she's in school. She's gonna graduate in three years, you know, most likely, instead of four, and and uh, you know, get out in the real world and now to see you doing the same thing, which I know is stressful, right? It's a lot of stress, and you know, you want to be out having fun and doing all the things instead of you know filling out those applications and the the common app and and doing your essay and doing all those things, but it's important to go through those processes in life. I think it makes you a better person. So uh we're not doing it to punish you, even though it may feel like it. Um, but I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you for coming up here and for you know being open and honest and vulnerable. And uh, you know, not a lot of of 17, 18-year-old girls would do that. And um, so it's pretty awesome. So thank you.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you.
SPEAKER_05:I do have another one.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_05:Do you have any advice for parents out there that's parenting high school kids? Like, is there anything that like you think that parents should know about their kids? You know what I mean? Like struggles that you guys are facing that maybe we didn't face. Like we talked about it that it's a different time than when your dad and I were in school, you know? Your dad was in school in the 60s.
unknown:Come on.
SPEAKER_05:No, but it is it's a different time, and I feel like each generation you deal with different battles and everything.
SPEAKER_00:And yeah, um, I would say just be there to listen and also let them fail because they're gonna learn the most when they fail. And I know it's probably really hard to watch your kids fail, but at the same time, like through your failures, you learn the most. So just stepping back and allowing them to do that, I think, is really strong and it's gonna help them a lot. Like like you said, with the applications and stuff, you guys make us do that, but I think it pushes us to grow up a little bit. And so obviously, like college, you're moving away, so you're physically forced to grow up. But before we go, I think you've prepared us enough to like more on the mentally aspect and um the things that you have to do, like scheduling things and making it to places on time, those kind of things. I think you guys have pushed us to grow up and do this on our own. So I'm really grateful for that.
SPEAKER_04:Does it does it scare you to leave the nest, you know, here in this time next year? I mean, are you are you nervous about that?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think I'll definitely be nervous and scared too, but I also know that like I'm ready for a change and to be pushed out of my comfort zone. Um, even though that stresses me out. I hate getting out of my comfort zone.
SPEAKER_05:We all do. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But yeah, I think I just know that I'm gonna grow a lot and I'm ready to like become the person I'm gonna be for the rest of my life and find my passion and like what I want to do career-wise. So I'm excited, but yeah, I'll definitely be nervous.
SPEAKER_04:Future host of the Be Tempered Brother.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, there we go. What about you, Dane? You ready for this?
SPEAKER_04:Um, I'll tell you, it's as a as a parent, you know, already having Allie who who was gone last year. Um, you know, it's I'm grateful that we have five children, you know, five healthy children. And so when Allie left, it was like, oh, you know, that that hurts, you know, it because you know, you you start to I it hurts, but I I was also excited for her, you know, to to take that next step because I felt she was ready. And I feel the same thing with Leah is she's ready, you know. There's no doubt um she's gonna thrive in whatever she does, just like Ali is. And and I think just like you know, the three younger, you know, Nate and Mary and Ryan, they're they're gonna, they're all gonna be just fine. Um where it kind of hurts your soul a little bit is you know, that family dynamic changes. You know, one goes away, you know, next year two are gonna be away, you know, so then we're down to three. But I'm so grateful that we have five because we have a lot of friends, you know, that you know, just recently became empty nesters or in a year or two are gonna become empty nesters because they, you know, had had just had a couple kids, and and that's okay. But man, am I grateful that my wife was like, we are having five of us. Because at the time I was like, no, we're gonna have two. We're gonna have two kids. And if we were in that situation, this would be it.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. We would we wouldn't have Nate and Mary and Ryan. Um, so we've been blessed beyond measure um to have the amazing kids that we do have. And yes, I'm, you know, I'm it's gonna be sad when she goes away and when Allie goes away again next fall. But I'm so excited because that time in my life was an exciting time. It was a scary time, right? It's scary time for everybody when you graduate high school and you're, you know, what's next? Is it work? Is it school? Whatever it is. But it's also an exciting time. It's an it's a time to learn who you are, you know, as a as a person, as an individual. And um, you know, recognizing there's all kinds of choices in life that we have to make and and they all have consequences. Some are good, some are bad. And those are the that that's when you you figure those things out. So um yeah, it's gonna be a big change. Um, but I, you know, I'm excited, excited for the future for sure.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. I had a moment last night where Ev woke up with a nightmare and he crawled in bed with me, you know, and a little spoon there, and I was sitting there cuddling with him, and I'm just like thinking, man, like yeah, you never know when you know, you never know when the last time those moments happen. And yeah, that's what when you think about a kid graduating, it's like, good night. Yeah, it goes. Can't imagine slow down time.
SPEAKER_04:So quick.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So quick. And you hear you hear that a lot, but you don't realize it until you're in it.
SPEAKER_05:What about advice you have for high school parents? Or parents in general. I mean, we we we talk a lot about parents and in general and what we should do and stuff like that, but now your second daughter heading off to college and well, I think it's important as a parent.
SPEAKER_04:And it's man, the hardest job in the world is to be a parent. You know, there's there's no right or wrong answer on what to do in this situation or that situation. I think, you know, as a parent, you want to protect, right? You don't want your kids to be exposed to certain things, but you you understand that how you grew in your life was was by being exposed to those things. What you what you have to hope and pray that you did a good job as as they were young, and then they get to that certain age when they they have friends that maybe not think and act the same way that that you do or how you were raised. You know, if you can teach your kids what's right and what's wrong, and then when they get to that age where it's time to make those decisions that are right and are wrong, that they have that feeling when it's not right. And they have the strength to step away. Not to not to have mom or dad pull them away, but to to recognize in their own mind that, hey, something doesn't feel right here. Like I should just step away and walk away from this. Um so let your kids fail. I mean, Leah said it, you know, you you've got to you've got to be okay with letting them fail, which is very difficult to do. It's a very hard thing to watch as a parent, is to see your kid fail, to see your kid lose. Um, you know, but you know, just try to offer advice and because the real world is we fail more times than we win. And so if you if you figure out how to, you know, to get past those failures in life and to learn from them, um, I think that's really important at a young age. And then the other thing I think as a parent is is holding your kids accountable, you know, holding them accountable when they do things wrong. Like there are consequences to doing bad things. Um but also recognizing that they're gonna make bad decisions, right? We all have done things we shouldn't have done, probably shouldn't have done. And um, you know, there are there are there are consequences for those actions. So making sure that you hold your kids accountable. Don't make threats you cannot keep. Because these kids are smart enough that they know that. You know, they know, hey, mom said they're gonna take my phone away for two days. Oh, let's see, you know, and then you only take it away for an hour, right? Well, there's no consequences in that. So stand firm on whatever consequences you put out there. Don't you know, don't waver in those. So I think those are the two biggest things that I would, you know, that we try to do as Kim and I try to do as parents.
SPEAKER_05:That's good. That's what sitting here and no doubt that you're gonna succeed, you know. And the big thing that stuck out to me was when you said when you go on vacations, right? When you guys go on vacation, you still go to church on Sunday. Like you're gonna go away to college and you know, you might feel homesick and stuff like that, but you go to church on Sunday and recenter yourself and you have the foundation where you're gonna thrive, and I can't wait to see it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it's pretty awesome. All right, Lee. You about took an hour here.
SPEAKER_05:We got another two hours for that truancy to kick in.
SPEAKER_04:So what did Nate say last night when they uh found out you're gonna be on the podcast? What are you gonna talk about?
SPEAKER_05:Oh, yeah. I'm sure that wasn't Nate. That'd be another segment. Nate was probably super supportive about the whole thing.
SPEAKER_00:Really supportive?
SPEAKER_04:Oh, it's pretty awesome. Hey everybody, if there's someone out there that you know can gain something from from Leah's uh insight, you know, from a 17, almost 18-year-old here, and in November she'll be turning 18, and and that's when she gets kicked out of the house and goes on her own payroll. Um you know, be sure to share, to like, to do all those things. Join us on Patreon. You know, we post on there every day. There's all kinds of different insights and things that are going on in our lives, and uh, you know, certain things that jump out and hit us, uh, you know, we'll post on there and talk about and and hopefully they can help you or someone else in some way. So hop on Patreon, download that app, search Be Tempered, and and check us out. And all those great things. Continue to like and support, and uh, we appreciate your ears. Go out and be tempered.
SPEAKER_02:Hi, my name is Ally Schmidt. This is my dad Dan. He owns Catrin's Glass.
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SPEAKER_03:I want to share something that's become a big part of the BeTempered mission: Patreon. Now, if you've never used it before, Patreon is a platform where we can build community together. It's not just about supporting the podcast, it's about having a space where we can connect on a deeper level, encourage one another, and walk this journey of faith, resilience, and perseverance side by side. Here's how it works. You can join as a free member and get access to daily posts, behind-the-scenes updates, encouragement, and some things I don't always put out on other platforms. And if you feel called to support the mission financially, there are different levels where you can do that too. That support helps us keep producing the podcasts, creating gear, hosting events, and sharing stories that we believe can truly impact lives. And here's the cool part. Patreon has a free app you can download right on your phone. It works just like Facebook or Instagram, but it's built specifically for our community. You'll be able to scroll through posts, watch videos, listen to content, and interact with others who are on the same journey. At the end of the day, this isn't just about content, it's about connection. It's about building something together. Not just me and Ben putting out episodes, but a family of people committed to growing stronger through real stories and real faith. So whether you just want to hop on as a free member or you feel called to support in a bigger way, Patreon is the door into that community. Because at the heart of Be Tempered has always been simple real stories, raw truth, resilient faith. So that even one person out there that hears what they need to hear, and Patreon helps make that possible.