BeTempered Episode 90 - Faith That Refuses to Compromise with Mandy Turner

What if the thing you are most ashamed of becomes the bridge that helps someone else survive? That question frames this conversation as hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr sit down with Mandy Turner, a teacher, coach, photographer, and woman of deep faith whose life has been shaped by resilience, integrity, and hard decisions.

Mandy’s story begins on an Ohio farm where her parents modeled discipline, budgeting, and a church-rooted sense of community. A college drop-off for her sister sparked comparison that quietly grew into anorexia and bulimia. What changed everything was not correction or control, but her mother meeting her with love, trust, and dignity. Those words became a turning point that still echoes through Mandy’s life today.

That same heart for seeing people carried her into cosmetology, where she learned that helping someone feel confident can matter as much as technical skill. But years of chemical exposure took a hidden toll. Steroids masked the damage until her adrenal glands failed, forcing her to walk away from a salon family she loved and rebuild from the ground up.

Reinvention led Mandy into the medical field, where a single request for her “clean” urine exposed serious ethical issues. Faced with a defining crossroads, she chose integrity and reported a physician’s misconduct, living with both the weight and peace that comes from doing the right thing. Coaching cheer revealed a deeper calling, and a last-minute flight to an interview placed her exactly where she belonged. Today, she teaches cosmetology with high standards, real-world professionalism, and a classroom culture built on trust, accountability, and safety. She also worked at Greene County Career Center, shaping students far beyond technical skills.

Mandy shares how a severe corn allergy and visible scars became unexpected tools for connection, helping her reach students who struggle in silence. During long lockdown drives, photography emerged as a creative outlet and became Skip to My Lou Photography, a joyful return to her roots and a way to honor the people she lifts up.

This episode is a story of faith under pressure, resilience after loss, and choosing integrity when the cost is real. If you have wrestled with self-doubt, burnout, disordered identity, or holding a moral line, this conversation offers clarity and hope.

Listen, learn, and share this episode with someone who needs courage today.
Visit https://betempered.com for more episodes.
Support the mission at https://patreon.com/betempered.

Transcript

Sponsor Message & Community Patreon

SPEAKER_00 0:00

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SPEAKER_02 0:29

I want to share something that's become a big part of the Be Tempered mission. Patreon. Now, if you've never used it before, Patreon is a platform where we can build community together. It's not just about supporting the podcast, it's about having a space where we can connect on a deeper level, encourage one another, and walk this journey of faith, resilience, and perseverance side by side. Here's how it works. You can join as a free member and get access to daily posts, behind-the-scenes updates, encouragement, and some things I don't always put out on other platforms. And if you feel called to support the mission financially, there are different levels where you can do that too. That support helps us keep producing the podcasts, creating gear, hosting events, and sharing stories that we believe can truly impact lives. And here's the cool part. Patreon has a free app you can download right on your phone. It works just like Facebook or Instagram, but it's built specifically for our community. You'll be able to scroll through posts, watch videos, listen to content, and interact with others who are on the same journey. At the end of the day, this isn't just about content, it's about connection. It's about building something together. Not just me and men putting out episodes, but a family of people committed to growing stronger through real stories and real faith. So whether you just want to hop on as a free member or you feel called to support in a bigger way, Patreon is the door into that community. Because at the heart of Be Tempered has always been simple.

SPEAKER_04 2:09

Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, where we explore the art of finding balance in a chaotic world.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Join us as we delve into insightful conversations, practical tips, and inspiring stories to help you navigate life's ups and downs with grace and resilience.

SPEAKER_04 2:22

We're your host, Dan Schmidt, and Ben Sparr. Let's embark on a journey to live our best lives. This is Be Tempered. What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, episode number 990.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

90. Wow.

unknown 2:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:39

Wow. Ten away from 100.

Childhood On The Farm And Family Values

SPEAKER_04 2:41

That's wild. It's getting real. All the way from the depths of our basement or my basement to global media enterprise. Cartoons to humans. Moving on. Hey, today on the Bee Tempered Podcast, we're honored to welcome Mandy Turner. Mandy lives in Eaton, Ohio, and she's someone who leads with faith, serves with joy, and truly cares about people. She's a Christian, a mom, a grandmother, and she's built a life around pouring into others. Whether that's through her work as a cosmetology instructor at Miami Valley Career Technology Center, her years coaching cheerleading, or her photography business, skipped my lieu photography. And what I love about Mandy is that her story isn't just about success, it's about perseverance. The truth is, overcoming obstacles started for her at a young age. She's walked through seasons that tested her confidence, her identity, and her strength. And instead of letting those moments define her, she used them to grow. She's living proof that you can come through hard chapters with deeper purpose, a stronger foundation, and a heart that's even more willing to help others. Mandy's favorite quote says it best that success is leaving the world a little better and helping at least one life breathe easier because you lived. That's who she is. And today she's going to share the experiences that shaped her and the purpose that drives her forward. Mandy, welcome to the Beatempered Podcast.

SPEAKER_06 4:14

Thank you. It's very good to be here. It's an honor.

SPEAKER_04 4:16

Well, we're excited to have you up here, and we've been talking a little bit before and uh working through some things and maybe busting our chops a little bit. That's okay. No, it's all good. I'm I'm glad we obviously have a uh connect connection. Uh you don't live too far. You used to live really close to me, and now you moved over close to my parents, so you just can't get away from that Schmidt family.

SPEAKER_05 4:41

Right there. I take pictures all the time.

SPEAKER_04 4:43

That's right, you do. And we have some I have some beautiful ones hanging in my office from you.

SPEAKER_05 4:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:47

So, but thanks for coming up here today. And uh, I'm excited for you to share your story because um, you know, as you and I have discussed, um, there's many powerful parts and pieces to it that have shaped who you are. And uh there's no doubt someone out there who's going through one or a couple of the situations that you've been through in your life and got through and become stronger. So uh I'm excited for you to share that.

SPEAKER_05 5:13

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_04 5:15

Yeah, yeah. So you know how we like to start every podcast is start from childhood. So talk about what life was like for you growing up.

SPEAKER_06 5:22

So, growing up for me, I couldn't have had a better childhood. Um, it was the all-American, you know, dad worked, mom stayed home. I have five older sisters, so I'm the baby. Um, I don't let my sisters forget it ever. Although growing up, being the baby had its kind of not so great things about it. I got shotgun. It was never, you know, we didn't get a call shotgun. Growing up, it was whoever was the oldest. So by the time it was my turn to get shotgun, I didn't care because I didn't have anybody to say, you know, hey, I got shotgun. You designed it. I didn't care. Um, I got all the hammy downs. Um, I'll talk in a little bit about the car situation, but you know, inflation came into play. So we all got a car, and I'll explain that in a minute. But my 13, my sister that's 13 years older, he spent the same amount of money on her that he did me. So 13 years later, I I got a Ford Pinto. I mean, don't hit me in the back because it's gonna blow up.

SPEAKER_04 6:30

But you were grateful for.

Self-Doubt And The UK Drop-Off Trigger

Anorexia, Bulimia, And A Mother’s Intervention

SPEAKER_06 6:32

No, I was, I was, that's a joke. Um, very grateful for it. And I'll I'll talk about that part in a minute. But we grew up on a farm, um, Preble County, Route 40. I went to Sierra Covenants Elementary, Sierra Covenants Middle School, and then National Trail High School, which now it's National Trail Local School District, and I um loved growing up on a farm. We had cattle, um beef cattle. So I got very spoiled on never having to eat meat from a grocery. In fact, when I went out on my own, and the first time I went to the grocery and bought meat, I'm like, why is it red? Why is it not like, you know, just brown like it came from? Yeah. The butcher. Um, I had a horse, I had a couple sheep. Um, the sheep were more pets, and then they ate all mom's flowers because they would get out all the time. And dad just stayed, you know, frustrated constantly. So they got rid of the sheep. But um, we had a huge garden. We were taught by example. Um, my dad's work ethic was unbelievable. He was a planner. He budgeted you cannot ever imagine anyone having a budget like Don Hall. And I spoke at his funeral, I lost my dad in May, and I spoke at his funeral about it and just said he didn't veer. He had a budget, and we would leave church on a Sunday, and I would say, Hey, can we go out to eat? Can we go? And he would say, Nope, it's not in the budget this week. And that's just the way it was. Um, and I'm grateful for that because he taught me, you know, how to plan. Um, his motto was um um plan. If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail. And so I try to live by that. I try to even teach my now students that. Um, I quote that to them. Um But he was a state from agent. My mom stayed home until I was in high school. And in high school, she did go help him in the office a couple days a week. But growing up, mom was always home. She was the loving, nurturing, you know, leave it to be for mom. She was just perfect. And then dad would work every day till five-ish. Um, and you know, we didn't have cell phones then, but we had C B radio. And so every day he we lived on 40, um, and between like the rodeo shop and trail. Um, and he would call out on the CB when he would exit 70 to get on 127, because he knew if he called then and let her know where he was, she could start mashing the potatoes. And so then when he got home, when he walked in, you know, the potatoes were done, the biscuits were done. I mean, we ate like that, but you know, we didn't gain a lot of weight. We ate big meals, fried chicken, all of that, every night. But we were farm kids. We played outside all the time. We were always working um and playing. So it was a wonderful childhood. I had five older sisters. Um, and we just learned by my dad's example of a hard work ethic. Um, we went to church every time the doors opened, um, every time. And that gave us that good foundation. Um, you know, we had to make the choice ourselves, but they took us and they led us, and we had friends. We're still friends with those people from his first Baptist church in New Paris. We're still friends. Uh the pastor was our best friend. I'm still friends with, he texts me and my sisters all the time, uh, Jeff Griffin. And then I was best friends with Amy, the daughter, and um just everybody in that church was we were family, we still are family. So every time someone passes, we all go to each other's, you know, the viewing, funeral, whatever. So it was just a really incredible childhood growing up. Um, I had talked about the car. Um, we didn't get handouts. We we were all given a car at 16. But he said, Here, mom and dad both said, Here, here's the keys. You want to make it go, go get a job. Go, you got to pay the gas and you got to pay for the insurance. And at the time, I thought, you know, my friends have this or my friends have that. But I am so thankful that I didn't get a hand out, handouts because I do have a good work ethic now, and I've passed that on to my kids. And I mean, without those teachings, I I don't I wouldn't be who I am. And I am grateful for that.

SPEAKER_04 11:03

So that's pretty awesome. Were there any did you play any sports or anything? I cheered. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 11:08

I cheered.

SPEAKER_04 11:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 11:09

I I wanted to play volleyball, um, you didn't want to do both, you know? Right. You you could have for a little bit, but I I chose cheer. It was more me.

SPEAKER_04 11:20

So with you being the youngest uh and as you as you're going through high school, was that difficult for you being the youngest? Uh the older that you got? Was there any was there any struggles that you you faced during that time?

Cosmetology School And Early Confidence

SPEAKER_06 11:35

So uh not being the youngest, I I don't think, other than you know, when when everybody moved out, then I was alone. And so um you know how you remember, I can't remember what I ate for breakfast, but I can remember very vivid things in my life like it was yesterday. Um my sister Donna decided to go to UK. We took her to UK, um, dropped her off. That was one of the most devastating days of my life because it was my sister. We were best friends. And when we had to leave her, not only was I selfish, and I thought, what am I gonna do? You know, she's gone, but I worried about her more than me. And I and we pulled up to UK, and you know, I'm from Preble County. Um it was just different. And we go to Lexington, Kentucky, and we pull up. I can remember what some of these girls were wearing like it was yesterday. And I thought I I could never do this, I could never come here, I don't fit in, I could never be as good as those people. And that self-doubt started to kind of hone in. Um, because I just I'd never really been out of Preble County in that light. But to see my sister Donna like get dropped off and I see all these people and we leave, and she calls that night crying, and she's already homesick, and I was devastated. It was, I don't even know if my parents or her know how traumatic that was for me. Um, and I thought in that drive home, I can't do this. I cannot go to college, I cannot be left, you know, to compete with all these people. It's just not who I am. Now I hadn't a great upbringing. It was nothing my parents did, or you know, sometimes people have trauma or something like that, and they become a certain way. It was nothing like that. It was just all self, self-doubt. So as I started to go through high school, um, well, before high school, I started playing around with hair and I um I taught myself how to French braid and I thought, well, this is fun. And then I started to do it on Friends or whatever. I would do it on cheerleading competitions. I was the girl that always braided everybody's hair, you know, like if we had a competition on the bus. Um, and I just thought, you know, I can do this. This is me. Like I could be successful at this. So even my parents were very supportive of it. And they said, you know, we we want you to do that if that's what you think would work. If you don't feel like you want to go to college, don't go to college. So, you know, girls go through changes and their bodies change. And my body started changing freshman, sophomore year and developing. And in the 80s, that was that was not looked upon as a good thing. It's not like today's kids that are athletic or, you know, they have, you know, nice muscles or they're athletically built or whatever. It wasn't like that in the 80s. If if you gained weight, you were looked down upon, at least in my head, because of commercials or magazine ads, or you know, there was no social media. So the old-fashioned things, TV, all of that. Um and so I developed this, oh no, what am I gonna do? Like I'm getting fat. I wasn't. I wasn't, I wasn't heavy, I wasn't even remotely chunky, nothing. But in my head, I thought I was. So over time, it just got worse. And I thought I I can't do this. I I've gotta be skinny. So I stopped eating. I developed an eating disorder. Um, I became anorexic. And you know, everybody jokes about hangry. It's real. So when you are truly hungry, I mean Jimmy, when he doesn't eat at me, I'm like, we gotta get food now, because um, you know, people joke about it, but if you are anorexic and you are not eating and you just all you want is a bite of food, you are hangry and it's real. And I lived that way for a very long time. I just wanted to eat, but I couldn't because I knew every bite might add a pound. And I mean, it was a problem. And so I I did that for a long time. And my mom started noticing. Um, you know, she's a good mom, I'm dropping weight. Um, I same height I am now, I weigh 72 pounds. Yeah, I was nothing. I was a bag of bones.

SPEAKER_04 16:14

How how many years when you say you did it for a long time? How many years? It was a couple years. 72 pounds?

SPEAKER_06 16:20

72 pounds at my lowest. 72 pounds. Yeah. It was bad. Um, and you know, mom's like, are you eating? And she starts questioning me. I don't know, she's figuring me out. What am I gonna do? Um, and and this is gonna sound really sick, but I start, and I didn't even know if she knows this. I started preparing food so it looked like I ate and I would throw it in the garbage disposal. Um I remember one time I my mom's lasagna like that's sinful. Like it's the best thing you could eat. Everything's scratched, you know, homemade sauce, everything. And she was getting so like so many questions coming my way from her. And I thought, I've got to do something. I've got to make her think I'm eating. So I would warm it up in the microwave so the cheese would melt. I mean, like, this is sick. And I would prepare it and I'd be like, leave one bite and put the rest down the garbage disposal. So when she would come home, did you eat today? Yeah, see, I ate my lasagna. And I knew it was wrong, but I had to protect my whatever I thought. I mean, I thought I was right, but it was awful. And I went through that.

SPEAKER_04 17:29

Um was there ever a time you confided in like your sisters?

SPEAKER_06 17:33

No.

SPEAKER_04 17:34

You just kept it all inside. I didn't.

Salon Years And Debilitating Dermatitis

Career Pivot And Whistleblowing A Physician

SPEAKER_06 17:36

Yeah, I never shared that. Nope. Um I held a lot of things like that in. I didn't want anybody to know. Um, I had one friend later down the road that knew. Just one friend. Um and I won't just I don't disclose who that was. Um but like over time I couldn't take it anymore. I um ended up going to cosmetology school. I applied thinking, oh, you know, it at CTC, cosmetology then and now was the most sought-after program. Um, and it was the hardest one to get in. So if you didn't have the best grades and grade attendance at that time, you didn't get in, which I did have good of both. I didn't miss school. Um, but it's that self-doubt, you know, like I'm not gonna make it in. I'm not good enough. I'm not, and I did. So I was I was grateful. And I never took that for granted. I was so thankful because I thought this is my ticket, this is what I can do in life, and I know it'll be good. And I don't mean that to be big-headed. I I am not that, but I just knew if I could do anything, I could do this. Um, I love more than anything to make people happy and to feel loved and to feel heard and to feel beautiful. Um, even now I use it in my photography. Um, I just want people to feel like the most beautiful person in the world. Um, in fact, my cosmetology teacher, my senior year, taught me how to do that. And she said, you know, you can do a halfway haircut. But if you make the person feel heard, seen and loved, they're gonna come back to you. Um, and that's how I built my business. You know, I'm jumping ahead, but that's how I built my business in the salon. Um going back to school. So I started CTC. Um the comparisons became harder, like from my own head because now I'm not with Preble County people and I am with this whole diverse, you know, all these schools, um, all these, I just thought all these beautiful people. I never, I never saw that when I would look in the mirror. I just didn't. Um and again, it was just my own self doubt. And um just one day I couldn't take it anymore and I thought I've got to eat. And I I I knew when I would start to eat that the the pounds would come on. And they did. Um, but I needed energy. I I you know, I'm I was working. I was at Bob Evans. So I was at waitress. So, you know, that takes a lot of energy. You know, you don't get really great breaks. So go, go, go, go, go. Um, we were very, very busy, was back at a time when you know we didn't have a lot of restaurants. So Bob Evans was it. And it was those days where on Saturday and Sunday mornings the line would be out the door. Um, and I worked Saturday and Sunday mornings. So I needed my energy. So I thought, well, I'll I'll eat. But then the guilt would overtake everything. And then I turned and I became bulimic and I would binge and purge. And so at first, um I thought, well, if I just get rid of just a little bit, then I'll have enough to keep you know going, energy. I mean, this all sounds so horrible, but it's real. And there are people that go through that. And I didn't know how long I was gonna have to do it. I didn't know what to do. I knew I needed help. I I I wanted help, but I I didn't want to, you know, stop either. You know, so fast forward through my whole junior year. Um, so I don't know, probably end of junior year is when I started doing that. And then I did it over my whole summer between my junior and senior year. And then Preble County Fair, I I went with a friend. And, you know, we ate a couple different of the, you know, food um wagons or whatever, food um trailers. Trailers, thank you. And I just the guilt, it was, it was awful. And so I got home, and it was Sunday, it was Saturday night, and I actually had to work the next day. My my parents had church. Um, and I they were asleep when I got home. It was probably midnight when I got home. Um, and they were they were in bed, and I thought, I've got it, I've got to get rid of this. So I turned on the shower to cover the noise because our bathrooms aligned from that. We had lived um on the farm and we had just moved, literally, like right before that. We had just moved to this house in Eton on Lexington Road. Mom and Dad built a house. So our bathrooms aligned. So they backed up to each other. Well, mom had gotten up to use the restroom and I didn't know, and she heard me. And so she comes and she knocks on the door, and I've got the shower going, and she says, Open the door. And she knocked. And I said, I'm in the shower, I can't. And I was a good kid. I didn't, you know, I was good, but I thought I busted. And she said, You're not in the shower. I know exactly what you're doing. Open the door. She wasn't mean. Mom was very, very loving and kind. She's the classiest woman you'll ever meet. Um, but I knew, you know, and all of those things just went rushing through my head. And I thought, oh, all I ever wanted to do was make my parents proud. And I did not want to open that door because I knew she would be looking at me with eyes of judgment, um, which she didn't. So I opened the door. And she said, What are you doing? I said I was in the shower. She said, You weren't in the shower. She said, I asked what you were doing, but I know what you were doing. Let's go talk. So I walked the dreaded walk to the living room, and I thought, oh, here we go. This, I mean, I'm busted. And all I could think of is, they're not gonna be proud of me. And all I ever wanted to do was make my parents proud. My whole life, even today. And so we sat down, and all I could think of is she's gonna look at me through these eyes, you know, these, and she's gonna yell at me. And she didn't. And she just looked at me with love. And she said, What are you doing? Why are you doing this? And I said, Because I I want to be beautiful. I want to be skinny. I want she said, You are. You're perfect. You are beautiful, just the way you are, the way before you were before you started this. She said, I've known for a long time, but I did not know how to address it. I didn't know what to do. But here we are, and we're gonna get you better. She said, It's late. They had church the next morning. I had to go to work. She said, We need sleep, so let's go to sleep. So we went to bed the next day, we talked. Um, dad was involved, and they said, you know, we did some research, and there's there's this um meeting this week at Goodseeum Hospital that was still a thing. And they asked if I would go. And I said, I mean, I'll go to the meeting, but I don't, I don't want help. I'll be fine. And they said, you can't get better on your own. This is bad. I mean, and we, it all came out, like how long I'd been doing it, you know, how much I actually weighed, all of these things. And I had gained weight. I wasn't 72 pounds at that time. I had gained some weight. And um we went to the meeting, and the meeting um just talked about, you know, therapy and in-house um treatment and you know, in-hospital stays. And I had perfect attendance at CTC. I hadn't started back to school yet for my senior year, but it was in the next week or two. It was fair week, right? So it was coming around the, yeah. And then I said, I I can stop. I have the will. I can stop. I will do it. They're like, you can't, you can't. So I begged them. I promised them everything. I said, Oh, I will change. I can't do that. I have to finish my schooling. It it was everything to me. And so dad said, you know, your mom and I all pray about it. They prayed about every decision they ever made. Um, I mean, everything about going on vacation, about the route to take my sisters that had moved to, you know, they were in Kentucky at that point. So they they literally prayed about everything. And so I thought, oh my gosh, I just have to go back to school. So they said they'd let me know the end of the week. And so the end of the week came. I had made changes already. I had started trying to show them that I could I could do this on my own. And they said, you don't have to go. We know that if anybody can beat this on their own, we know it's you. And so that set up a trust that I knew they had in me, and I had to prove them right. And I had to show them they made the right decision. And I quit. I never had a day of therapy, I never saw a doctor. Um looking back now, I don't know how I did it because I was bad. But I did it. And it gave me kind of a a drive through the rest of my life to be able to do the things that I would then face.

SPEAKER_04 27:12

What a story. Well, I can tell you it's because you you got that self-confidence, that reassurance from your parents that, hey, we believe in you. You can do this. Do you think that the trigger that started it all? I mean, just by just by listening to you lay all this out was when your sister went to Kentucky? Well, that that sounds like that was the trigger.

SPEAKER_06 27:34

You know, you sent the questions right. And so I didn't even know it until I started answering. And I remembered that moment and all of those, all of those girls. And they were, to me, they all looked so perfect. And I thought, I I just want to be like them. Um, but I really probably didn't look any different. But in my own head, you know, um, they were all wearing very expensive clothes. And I mean, I was a farm girl from Rebel County. I liked my clothes, but you know, but I I do think that was probably the moment. And then when I went to CTC, um, it was the best thing in my life. But I think it also, you know, birthed a lot of things, just like comparisons in my own head.

SPEAKER_01 28:26

Did you know about like being, you know, bulimic and anorexia? Like, did you know about that stuff? Or was it just like, you know what, if I stop eating, I'll lose weight? Like, I think of today, like kids can just hop on the internet in five seconds and figure all this stuff out.

SPEAKER_06 28:40

Yeah, I don't think it was like I think I just decided myself I'm just not gonna eat. Uh, but then over time, I did do research once I was in it. And, you know, there was a lot of other things that went came into like water pills and like um wax, like all of those things. Like, but not normal. That's just not normal thinking. But I think going through all of that has put me in a place as a teacher today. I mean, we've skipped my whole life, but and we'll go back, but I know how to talk to kids. I can recognize if I see a student start dropping weight, um I don't think it's as it's not as much of a thing now as it was then. I do think it was a rampant like everybody. I didn't know it then. Um, but the 80s were it was just a different time.

SPEAKER_04 29:36

So if you see a if you see a uh young girl in class and I'm sure it's happened, what advice do you give to them?

Coaching Cheer And Discovering A Calling

SPEAKER_06 29:44

Well, I pull them aside, like, are you eating? Um I ask, because you know, uh the world is just as a teacher, you see it all. Um and I I do believe my story has got me and we skipped it all, but we'll go there. But I believe that God wanted me to be a teacher. I do. And I had to go through a lot of things to get there. Um, but I didn't know it at the time. And I don't think I would have survived college. I think it all happened because it was God's plan. But I pull the student aside and first I want to know if they have food at home. Because a lot of these kids don't. A lot of these kids, you know, it's Christmas break, and they don't want to go on break because at least at school they had lunch. Or, you know, it it's hard to watch. So first you have to, you don't want to be too pushy, you don't want to be too nosy, but you need them to know you actually truly care and that you will do whatever you need to do to get them help. Um I just had one this year. I said, uh we eating, honey, because you've lost some weight. I mean, you look beautiful because you always have to reassure.

SPEAKER_05 31:00

Right.

SPEAKER_06 31:01

Because you don't want them to think, oh gosh, do I, you know, because there's so many, like one phrase, one sentence can make or break someone's life. I mean, I that sounds really ridiculous to say, but it's true. Just one sentence to a young girl that's going through something can make her or break her. And I want to make them. I don't want to break anyone. I am strict. I mean strict, but I do it with love. And I always try to circle back and tell them this is why I'm pushing you. I'm not pushing you because I'm mean. I'm pushing you because I I mean, and you have to watch your words, but I do love my students, and I I I tell them. And I mean, in this world, you have to watch because there's some bad people out there. But I am, I want my kids to know, gosh, I love them, and all I want them to know is that they can be successful. They just have to have someone help them along. Um, but going through that, I I think that's why. I think that's why I went through it. Because I think that at every turn in all of our lives, a lot of the things we go through are to help someone else. Um, I know for a fact, um, like my allergies that we'll get into, I know that is to help other people. I know it was also to change my career path, but I didn't know at the time.

SPEAKER_04 32:29

Sure. So let's get into that. So you you get through you know, overcoming anorexia and bulimia and um graduate high school.

SPEAKER_06 32:39

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 32:39

What's next?

SPEAKER_06 32:41

So I, as a senior, I was, I think the first one done um with my hours. My teacher came up to me and she's like, You're not gonna believe this, but you're done. Like tomorrow, you're you hit your hours because in our program, you have to hit 1,500 hours before you can be done. And then you go to State Board of Cosmetology and test. So I was the first one and I got to go. And so I started the advanced placement. I don't even know what it was called at that point, but I would go to CTC, it was JBS at the time, till like 11 o'clock, and I would leave and go to work. So I got a job in the salon, um, did a lot of research, didn't really want Preble County. I wanted to, I wanted, you know, a higher price point.

SPEAKER_05 33:23

Sure.

Insurance Detour, Love, And Returning To Teach

Building A Classroom Of Care And Standards

SPEAKER_06 33:23

Um, I just wanted to make as much money as I could, and I knew that in Preble County I just couldn't charge that much for a haircut or color or whatever. Um, my parents even helped me um find the salon. And my dad worked as a state farm agent in Dayton, and he was always on Main Street. So he passed the salon and he they he saw they were building it. He's like, you need to go check this place out. Um I had an interview first at Michael's, um, and I they hired me, but I just I just didn't feel like it was a good fit for me. It was really far away. Um, so I decided, you know what, I'm gonna keep looking, and I've found this place. So I just stopped in one day, you know, dressed up, looked apart, walked in, shook the owner's hand, and told her my name. And I'm, you know, from CTC or JVS, and um, I want a job. And she hired me on the spot. And so I was her assistant. Um, and she, um, Tammy Greenberg and Loretta Ware, they were the owners, and I'm still close with them today. Um, and that salon was a family. Um, we went through a lot together. You know, we watched 9-11, we we watched the OJ Simpson, you know, try all those things, you know, in a salon. We had a TV in there, and we were a family with our clients, with each other. Um, I wouldn't trade it for anything. It was just a blessing to just be a part of those people and their lives. And um, I was a very quiet, shy. Um, I skipped that part in my childhood, but I was the shyest little girl you would ever meet. And so being a cheerleader, um, being in cosmetology school, and then going into the salon really brought me out of it. And I'm there's not a shy bone in my body. I talk to a stranger and do most every day. Um, but you know, looking back, I think if anybody would have told me as a four-year-old little girl that I would be able to do what I do today, I would think you were crazy. You know, just amazing how your life changes over time. Um, but I worked there. So I started at 17 years old. I was 17 when I graduated. I started in March, March 6th, my senior year. And I was there. I never left. I was, I worked there for 14, 15 years. But two years in, I started having irritations to my skin. Um, I was Tammy's assistant. So for two days a week, I did everything for her. I was her right hand. Um, I did like helped her with her color, and I was just in chemicals, chemicals, chemicals. And so I developed some type of dermatitis. And so, you know, I thought, no big deal. I'll just go to a doctor, they'll give me something, I'll be fine. So I didn't really have a need for a dermatologist, but I started researching, asking people, you know, word of mouth, ended up at Dr. Parliament's in Richmond. Don't even know if he still practices, no idea. Um, but went by myself, went in, and he looked at me. I told him the story, you know, I kind of had just some just a mess on my hands. He said, You're not gonna like this, but you need to quit your job. I'm like, okay. You're what, like, are you a quack? Like, I mean, I that is a horrible thing, and I'll circle back because he's not. Um, I I just really thought he's gonna give me something to get me through, and he didn't. And he told me what I probably needed to hear and I should have listened. Um, and I left feeling defeated. I cried the whole way home, and I thought, what am I gonna do? I can't quit. He's crazy. This is all I know. This is all I want to know. This is my life. I'm 19 years old, I'm not going to college. I can't. It's just not in me. Um, so I went back home. I talked to my parents. I'm like, I'm just gonna go to the family doctor to see what we can do. Well, the family doctor gave me cortisone, and it helped me. But then over time, it got bad again, and I got more cortisone. And then I would get it in pill form, like meldral dose back, I think that's called. Um, sometimes shots, um, sometimes lotion, like a topical. And sometimes I would be using all three at once when you're not supposed to be. And I didn't know, like, I just didn't really know how detrimental that was to my health. So fast forward 14, 15 years, and I'm done. I wake up one morning, I can't move, I can't put one foot in front of the other. And I was married with children. Um, my kids were little, very little. And I thought I don't know what I'm gonna do. So called the doctor again, they do blood work, come to find out my adrenal glands had shut down completely. They were done because they were kind of overloaded. And it wasn't his fault. Um, I didn't always go to that same doctor. Sometimes I would go to a different doctor, you know, and I wasn't, it sounds like I'm a drug seeker. I'm not. Um, I was just trying to get by, you know. Um, so I went to an endocrinologist who saved my life. Um he was unbelievable. He listened. He took time with me. Um, he took a personal interest in my life, even. Um, he helped me get a job. I ended up having to quit. I had no choice. He said, Look, you don't, you don't have a choice. We're gonna get you better, and it's gonna be a hard road. My mom came in and practically lived with us and helped me care for my children for about a month. And I decided to go back to the salon and I wasn't there a few weeks. And I was, I couldn't do it. I just was, I was just sores all over. Um, it wasn't as bad as I became later in life, and I'll I'll go there in a minute, but I finally got better. Um and then I decided I'm just I have to quit my job. So I told my clients goodbye. Talk about hard goodbyes. You know, you become part of their life. They become part of yours. You celebrate the good with them, you know, you cry with them on the bad days. And I mean, for gosh, when my children were little, I they would buy gifts and just, you know, they just threw things at me and my children and our family. And, you know, you just can't understand. What it's like to have to say goodbye to that when you don't want to. Um, and in high school, one of my last days of school, I said to my teacher, I'm gonna go have my career. I'm gonna, you know, go build my clientele. And then when I get old and tired, I'm gonna come back and take your job. Little did I know that kind of that would kind of happen. I didn't take her job, but um I well, I'm jumping ahead. So I left teaching and I decided just to quit. But my endocrinologist knew I needed that money. Um it didn't make a ton of money, but I mean, it paid the bills. So he said, I've got a friend that's running for um, gosh, I don't even remember state representative. And he said he needs a campaign person. He's like, I think, I think you're the person. It's a lump sum, one-time pay, six-week job. I'm like, I'm your girl. Sign me up. Where do I go? So I went and ran a political campaign, learned a lot about politics. And I am not a politician. Um like I learned a lot. I did some crazy things, and they had me like going in and being like a spy for I had to go to this dinner event, and I mean, it's like a person that's in office now. Like, not who I was helping, but that I, yeah, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 41:30

Just way different from being a in a hair salon, yeah.

Handling Self-Doubt And Starting Photography

Skipt My Lou Photography Origin

Park Bench Reflections On Family And Pride

SPEAKER_06 41:33

So different. But it was interesting. I learned in six weeks I never wanted to do that again, but I was grateful. You know, it was it was a nice paycheck for six weeks. Um, and it gave me time to reflect and think about what I wanted to do. And so one day, driving home from that, I thought, I I could do skincare. That's not bad on my skin, that would help. So I started. Um, I worked a little bit with someone I had known in the salon, and she helped get me my start. And I'm grateful for her. Um, but I wasn't there very long just because it was hard to build a clientele. And at that time, cosmetic and plastic surgery became a thing. So it was the early 2000s, it was up and coming, and I thought, I'm gonna call this doctor and tell her she needs to hire me. And there wasn't really a spot for it, but I called her and I called her every week. And she said, I mean, we're we're thinking about getting a skincare, you know, maybe some microderm abrasion, maybe somebody to, you know, go over our skincare line with our patients. I'm not ready yet. Well, I was a thorn in her side. I called her every week, and then I just showed up one day and I said, I'm I'm the one that you've been talking to. And I just, I was a kind thorn in her side, but I was a thorn in her side. And she ended up hiring me. And it was probably my favorite job. Um, aside from teaching, I loved it. I got to see things that as a cosmetologist, you would never. I mean, I was in surgeries. I mean, I didn't do that, I got to be in MWatch. Um, and if she just said, you know, go get me this or go get me that, and I got to see some wild things. Um, you know, little girl from Preble County. I just never thought, and here I am. Um, I've got some crazy stories, but we won't go there. We'll just keep that under wraps. Um, but over time, and she was good. She was really good, um, so talented and beautiful. But over time, I started noticing change in her behavior. But I'm a young, naive girl from Probo Gauntly, and I don't think that way. Um, even today in the classroom. If students acting different, I don't think that way. Because this is not, I'm not wired that way. Um, but I should be, um, after all I've been through now. So, you know, just learning and watching. So one day we were all in the break room um at the doctor's office, and the doctor says to me, Hey, before you leave, I need something of yours personal. And I'm like, Oh, okay, whatever you need, you know, try to be easy, get along with. She's like, Okay, good. I need your urine. There's a cup in the bathroom. Just make sure you leave it before you go. And I looked around at everybody sitting there, and most of the people took some type of painkiller that wasn't really theirs to take. Not me. And they knew it. And I said to her, Doctor, I'm glad to do that, but I'm confused. She said, it doesn't matter, just do it, leave it. So then we leave. I worked every other day, but the next day she had a hair transplant. So that was an all-day thing. So if she had a hair transplant, we had to be there. Um, she would take the hair out and we would sit with our little, you know, goggles, and we would cut the skin and separate the hair, and it would be all day long, hours and hours. And so we all had to be there. So we were at lunch again, and she said, Hey, I noticed you didn't leave your urine yesterday. And I said, No, I didn't. I I don't understand. And she said, What is there to not understand? I need your urine. And I said, Well, I mean, if we're being drug tested and you're drug testing me, I will obviously leave my urine. I have nothing to hide. In fact, you know, and this was just her and I talking at this point. I said, in fact, out of everybody here, you know that my urine's clean. And she said, That's exactly why I need your urine. And I thought, oh, wow. I just I didn't see it coming. I didn't even think that. I just didn't understand. I was just baffled. Why do you want my urine? I'm clean. Like you would think that would be the first thing you would think. I just don't think that way. It's not who I am. So we went through the day, end of the day, I leave, I call my parents, because that's what I did. Married with kids, I still call my parents. I said, I need dad on this one. I'm like, Dad, what do I do? And he said, Well, first you pray about it, and then you listen. Listen for the answer, and you'll get it. Might not be what you want to hear, but he always answers. And so I did. Um, and I prayed and I prayed. We hung up and I prayed the whole way home and went back to work, and I just kept seeing like scary things. And I ended up, I had put my two weeks in, and I didn't know what I was gonna do. I had no job lined up, and I went to a local cosmetic surgeon, got hired on the spot there, um, worked three days a week there, loved that job too. Um, but going back, so my office manager calls me, I don't know, a month or so later after I put my two weeks in. She did let me fulfill my two weeks. Most of the time, in jobs like that, they walk you to the door. They don't want you to steal, you know, the patients or clients or whatever. And she did. She let me finish out my two weeks. And I did, I thought that was only fair. Um, that's how I was raised. So I finished, but a month or so later, the office manager called me and said, It's bad. Um, we've got a patient that's that's not good. And she she was hurt while under. So I called my parents again. I'm like, what do I do with this information? I'm gone. Like I left there, but she could kill someone. And it just started eating me alive. And I couldn't sleep. And I thought, you have this information. And I just I kept hearing a voice, you know? Um and I believe it was it was the Lord talking to me, telling me you need to do this. I I I've never heard his voice, I uh but I feel like if you hear a constant something is telling you to do this, you need to listen. Um I talked it out with my parents again and my family, and I thought, I I think I have to compose a letter. I think I have to send it to the state medical board. And I'm not the one ruining things here. It wasn't my decision. But if I could save a life or save someone for being, you know, caught on and, you know, hurt badly, which had happened, I need to do it. And I thought it's not my decision, it's the medical board's decision. So I composed a letter, I sent it, got a phone call. They wanted to meet me privately. They didn't want to be out and about, they didn't want me to be seen with them. Um, and not to take away anything from that doctor. She was so good. And I was so grateful for the job. And she taught me so much. But she unfortunately made poor decisions. And the poor decisions, you know, ultimately lost her license. But it it wasn't my doing.

SPEAKER_05 49:14

Right.

SPEAKER_06 49:14

Uh but in my own head, I thought, you know, she put herself through school with her little kids, and I'm gonna ruin her life. And I had to get over that because I did not ruin her life. No, I had to do what was right, and that was one of the hardest things, probably the hardest thing to that point in my life I had ever done. Um, but I felt like it was what needed to be done.

unknown 49:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:37

Addiction is what ruined her life. It is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 49:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:41

Wow. So where does that lead you from there?

Final Advice On Comparison And Purpose

Gratitude Walk Announcement And Closing

SPEAKER_06 49:44

So then while working at the that doctor's office that was local in Probo County, I started coaching at Twin Ballet South. My kids went to South and I thought I want to get more involved. Um, so I had cheered. I decided, you know, I'll try it. I loved it. I started with eighth grade. Eighth grade wasn't really my thing. Um, I felt like more of a mom. Um, I still loved it. I just wanted to be more like high school. So um the JV coach left and um I stepped in and got the position and um made one of my closest friends, um, Paula Bassler, was the varsity coach, and I was under her for 10, well, I wasn't under, I coached total for 10 years. So I was under her for about eight years, maybe. Um, and then I coached. And during that time, I thought, I think I've missed my calling. I should have been a teacher. And so I started thinking, like, I need to go to college. Like I'm an adult, but people do it all the time. But I thought, gosh, I I've been out for so long, I can't do it. So I started looking into other avenues and I thought, oh my gosh, I can teach cosmetology. And so I called the state board and they said you need to come and take a test. And so I did, and I passed, and I got my instructor's license, but I didn't have my license from the ODE. Um, but I started looking around, and Green County Career Center was hiring. And so I went there and I was a para. I was a teaching assistant for nine and a half years. I learned how to teach from that instructor. Um, and she was incredible. Lisa Bricker, she was unbelievable. Um, she was strict, but she brought up some amazing cosmetologists. And I learned from her. Um, and people would ask me all the time, other staff, if Lisa leaves, are you gonna take her job? And I'm like, no, I could never be a teacher. Like on my own, by myself, come up with everything, um, command a classroom. I couldn't do any of that. I don't have those skills. Um and then while working there, I um I went through a lot of things, you know, divorced, single mom, all of the things. And at Green County, it was 30 hours a week. Um I just was struggling to pay bills. 30 hours a week is not much. And the pay scale was was not very good either. And so everybody's like, well, you should go be a teacher, like, or you should do this or that. And I'm like, I could just, I could never do that. And money just was tight. It was just rough. Um, I met Jimmy during that time. I wasn't looking. Um, I had since my divorce, I had had a couple failed relationships that, you know, I was I was searching for happiness. And another person can't make you happy. And until I became happy with myself, and it took me to this point in my life. Um I was I was a Christian. I had the Lord in my heart. I so I wasn't searching for that. Um, I did that in 1990. But I was still searching, and I I felt like someone else has got to make me happy, and that's what I was searching for. And finally, when I'm like, okay, I am done. I am never dating again. I dated two different people. Both didn't end well. It was bad. I just gave up. I thought, I don't, I don't need anybody. I'm gonna be okay. I've got my kids. And then I realized I'm searching for happiness, and I just need to be happy with who I am. I know my parents are proud of me. I'm proud of where I've come, you know, but I still wasn't quite there because I was stressed. I was stressed about money all the time. And so I thought I've got to do something, I gotta better myself. So I still love my job, but I had to sacrifice because I had to take care of my kids. So I went back to just school, not college, but I took an insurance license or course. I'll follow in my dad's footsteps, I'll be in, because I can sell anything. Um so if you need some glass hold or something, I I could I could do that for you.

SPEAKER_04 54:06

I'm looking for a good guy. Just kidding. Gal.

SPEAKER_06 54:08

But I I was a good salesperson. So I thought I'm gonna do this. So I got licensed. It was hard. The test was hard. Um, and it it kind of overtook my life because I was like, I've got to study, I've got to study, I've got to study. And so I passed the test and I got a job with an insurance company. Um, I hated every second of the first job. Um, I got on with MetLife, nothing against them. It's just it wasn't who I was. It was a call center. Um, I worked there a few months and I thought I can't quit. I when I go to a job, I stay. And I'm, you know, I'm looking like I'm just going through jobs. Um, because I was at the salon for so long. And then I was at a doctor a couple years, and then a doctor a couple years. I'm like, I've got to stay. Um, so I just hated it. And so another friend, I became friends with everybody there that I went through the training. And my friend Ginny, she called me and said, I've got this place. Um, Storm and Spencer Insurance. They're amazing. They're family-based, they're so good to their people. Come work with me. And I thought, well, what do I have to lose? So I went and I worked there and I sold watercraft insurance for boats. And I did like it, um, but I felt a void. I loved the people. I'm still friends with the people there. Um, I learned a lot. I learned a lot about myself there. Um, I thought outside the box a lot. And Brian, the the owner, knew it, president knew it, and he he liked it. So he he pulled me off selling and put me on kind of this event planning. And um he had a 501c3, so he put me kind of over that um and taught me a lot about that. And um it it just as much as I loved it, it wasn't teaching. And I missed the kids, and I missed having that connection, and I felt empty. And then in that time, I had just literally that week told my kids, I'm never dating again. Just like write it down. And then I don't know, I had put something on Facebook about starting this new journey. And Jimmy Turner messaged me, tells me good luck, right? And I'm like, okay, this is Shelby Turner's dad. We knew him from Kylie cheered, my daughter and Shelby, and they cheered together, and that's really the only way I knew him. My nephew worked for him for a while, but didn't know him, know him. And so I thought, well, that was really nice, you know. So we just started texting and we texted for a long time. And so this is, I have to tell the story because it's so funny. So my phone's laying on the kitchen table. Kylie picks it up. This is like the week after I had said I'm never dating again. I put she picks up the phone. Why is Shelby Turner's dad texting you? Like with, you know, like she's the mother.

SPEAKER_05 57:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 57:17

I said, we're just friends. Yeah, right, she says. I said, we're just friends, Kylie. That's all we're ever gonna be. We're just friends. Yeah, right, mom. Well, fast forward a year and a half and we get engaged. So we did start dating shortly after, about a month after that. But it's just funny how, you know, when you're least expecting it, yeah, that happens. And I can say Jimmy makes me happy, but I don't rely on him to make me happy. Um, I found my own happiness in myself. It just took me my whole life to get there, you know. But it's true what they say about being older and you're wiser. It's so true. Because if I went back to my younger self, but I also wouldn't want to know all of these things at the same time. You know, I wouldn't want to know the future, but I wish I could say, I just grab myself and say, listen, just trust the process, just rely on God. Because I didn't. I fought at every turn. I panicked. I would call my family if I had a crisis. I call my sister Donna all the time, crying over something ridiculous. And just the world was coming to an end. But I I mean, I'm always gonna be a little bit that way, but now my first go-to is I pray because I mean, he'll see you through everything. I just took a long time to get there and really truly rely on on the Lord.

SPEAKER_04 58:51

Yeah, that's amazing. So you you talk about you had this little void, you know, in your heart with with work, and you enjoyed where you were at with the insurance company, but there was a void. How did that void get filled?

SPEAKER_06 59:05

So, Facebook. I'm scrolling. It was a Wednesday night. I'm sitting there, I'm exhausted. I'd been on the phone all day, and I'm scrolling, and I see a friend of mine from CTC um announced that she left her job and was gonna do this new thing. So I text her. I said, Did like, did you leave today or did you leave two weeks ago? They've already filled it, you know. She said, No, I left today. So the job is open. And Jimmy had already been like pushing me, like, you need to teach. You need to be a teacher. That's what you were meant to be. It's who you are. And I had so much self-doubt, so much self-doubt still. I just thought, I I can't do that by myself. I can't do that without that head teacher holding my hand. Um, and that was nine years ago. So it was 2017. Um, I read. Out to the supervisor at CTC, got on Dayton Consortium, you know, updated my resume, had two interviews. This is kind of a funny story. Had two interviews, got called for a third interview. So I thought, okay, this is this is good. This you know, superintendent interview. So that was on a Monday in July of 2017. Jordan had a travel baseball tournament. So we had to go to Kansas. So it was like 102, 103 degrees in Kansas. And the storms were a ruin, right? And it was crazy. So it was an all-weekend tournament. I think it was either Thursday through Sunday or Friday through Sunday. So we get to Saturday. And I think it was Saturday. It might have been Sunday. Anyway, doesn't matter. The game was canceled. And they it was Sunday. The game was canceled, and they said they're going to push it to Monday. I got my third interview and we drove. I didn't have an extra car. And I said, I don't know what I'm going to do. And Jimmy said, I know what you're going to do. You're going to go to the airport and get on a plane. I'm going to buy you a ticket. And he sent me home. And we paid we, and by we I mean Jimmy, paid a lot of money for that ticket, but it changed my life. And I got home and I made it to the interview, and they hired me. And I have never been more grateful for a job. It has completely changed my life in so many ways. It made me realize that all that self-doubt was for nothing. Again, I don't want to sound like I have a big head, but I am good with those kids because I love them and I see them through my own young eyes. And so when I see there's a problem, I want to help. I also want to push them. I want to teach them about life, not just about cosmetology. It's a lost art teaching someone to look, you know, look you in the eye or to shake a hand. Or when you go to dinner with someone. I mean, I teach this from the classroom. It shouldn't be an interview. It shouldn't be a one-way conference. So how is work today? How is the it should be, you should ask them back. I tell them, go to dinner with your grandma. And when they ask you all these things, then ask them back because it's important. And I don't know that kids learn that like they should anymore. I'm old-fashioned. Um, I'm not going to apologize for it. But it's important. And it's important to hear, be kind. Hold the door. Even if, you know, you're you're 20 feet behind you, there's somebody coming. Hold the door. You could just completely change someone's day by making them feel seen and heard. Um, but I do, I do push. I'm strict because I want them to be successful. And you can't be successful if you don't work hard and put put the hours in, blood, sweat, and tears and all of those things. So I I love my job. I love the people that pushed me. I believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. Um my whole family, all of my family, my kids, my husband, my, you know, everybody.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:28

It's amazing. It is. It's an it's an amazing story. Well when you when you face self-doubt, right? And and you still face it probably daily. What what do you do to to work through that?

SPEAKER_06 1:03:44

Well, it depends on the situation. Um I try not to get in my own head. I I think that's the worst thing any of us could do. And I think we all are guilty of it. Um if it gets real, I mean, I it should be my first like prey, like, why are you doing this? But if you just look back and reflect, like my entire life was planned before I was ever born, and I know it. But it took me till now to realize it. And looking back at the absolute perfect timing of it all, you know, the allergy, um, switching to skin, the interaction with the with the doctor, then coaching, cheerleading, and seeing, oh my gosh. And I did have to go to college, by the way. I just had to do that teaching. But I did it when I didn't think I could. Um, you know, being out of school that many years. But self-doubt there with college, I can't do that. I can't go to bowling green. Like, I what am I gonna do? I have all these things. You you can do anything. You just have to set your mind to it, believe in it, pray about it, have faith, rely on everyone around you and stop the negative talk. Um, and know that God gave us all differences. He gave us all talents, but we need to use our own talents. And I know now what mine are. It just, I just never knew. I always self-doubted, even in my photography. When I first started, it was COVID. And a friend asked me, I got a camera because I I drove around because I'm a people person. I got depressed. I'm like, I gotta go take pictures. So I probably took some pictures of your cattle because I just drive down the road. And then I learned my camera, and then a friend of mine asked me to take pictures of her son. Beth Schaefer asked me to take Carson Senior Pictures. I can't do that, Beth. I am not good. She's like, Yes, you can do this. And I did it. And then my that's how my photography was birthed. It just became a thing. And to this day, I still self-dealt with that. I question my every I look at other photographers and I think, wow, I just, I just want to be as good as her, you know? And then sometimes I'll look back at a picture I took a year ago. I'm like, wow, who took? I took that. And then I'm like, oh, you know, but it's just, I think it's who we are. I was just a little extra, but I'm extra with everything.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:17

So extra special.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:19

No, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:20

How'd you come up with your uh photography name?

SPEAKER_06 1:06:23

Um, that's a fun little story. So um my middle name is Lou, Mandy Lou, Amanda Lou. And I hated it my whole life because it was my it was my grandmother's name who I loved. Um, but I was the sixth girl. And my grandma told my mom, you know, there are five girls and none of them are named after me. This one's gonna be named after me. So they were told. So people, you know, just like would joke and laugh about my name growing up because it was sounded like, you know, probably counting, you know. And so I never liked it. But then when I met Jimmy, you know, in the early on of the relationship and you're talking and you're getting to know each other, and he's like, What's your middle name? I'm like, not telling you. He's like, What's your middle name? I'm like, I'm not telling you. And so I finally told him, he said, I love it. Lou, it is. And he's called me Lou ever since. So if we're out and about, you won't hear him call me Mandy. He calls me Lou. And I call him it because that's his middle name. And so I, you know, we have a family text, right? So I put it out to my sisters. I'm like, you guys gotta help me out to think of a name because I'm gonna do the real thing here. I'm gonna be legit through the state of Ohio. I have an LLC, so I need a name. And I don't want Mandy Turner photography. I just, not that that's not, I just want a catchy little thing, but I want my name involved. And so I believe it was Donna. Sorry, sisters, if it wasn't Donna, said skip to Beleaf photography. And I'm like, oh my gosh, that's so it. And then I I created my font. My well, I picked the font.

unknown 1:08:02

Right.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:02

Um, I went to other people, but I I liked what I did. So that's how it, that's how it came about.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:07

It's a perfect name. I just feel like you're so joyful, and that's what I always think of when like skit to my loo. Like I always think of like my I don't know, all the games and stuff that kids play back then was one of them was skit to my loo. And everybody was so joyful and happy. And so thank you. Matches your personality, like perfect. Hearing the backstory though, it makes sense.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:25

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:26

Unless I'm hangry. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:27

Yeah. All right. If you could sit on a park bench and have a conversation with someone living or deceased, who would it be and why?

SPEAKER_06 1:08:39

Okay, so I thought about this and I've listened to your podcast. And I know a lot of people have said Jesus, but I do talk to him every day. And I know that he's in my heart, and I know that when I die, that's I'm going to spend eternity in heaven. So I will have eternity to talk. So then I think, well, maybe my dad, I lost my dad in May. But I'm I know he was proud of me. And I know he loved me. And I know that he knew I loved him and I was proud of him. And I will get to spend eternity with him too, because I know he's in heaven. So then it has to just be one, I'm gonna break a rule. My kids. I would hope that I could sit with them and have heart to heart. Because I can talk to my kids every day, but I would really want them to listen. I said I wasn't gonna cry. But I am so proud. You know, you have your kids and you think, we just gotta get through this phase. I don't want them to get into drugs or, you know, you don't want this or that, or and you just want them to be good people that give back to society. And they both so far succeed that. And I also have stepkids that I don't want to, you know, we I didn't raise my stepkids, so we're a blended family. Um, so that's that's hard because I didn't, I didn't raise them, but they're still my kids. And I always wanted four kids, and I got my four kids. Um, but back to the perk pinch. They Kylie's a first grade teacher at Trail. Um, so that's my whole heart, right? Back to my where I went, and she's amazing. Um, Alec is a dietitian in Dallas, and he has his own business, um, nutrition collaborative, and he is absolutely killing it, and he works stupid hours, and he needs to hear me when I say work less because you'll work your life away. But they're both good kids that give back, and that's all I ever wanted in my life was just to raise some good kids. But I also want to know that they're proud of me. I just want I spent my whole life wanting to make my parents proud. But I want my kids to be proud, I want to know that when I die, my kids could say so proud that that was my mom. I also want to make Jimmy proud. I know I broke the rule, but I wouldn't want to know that I made him proud every day. Um, because he sees it all, you know? And he he sees the good, the bad, the ugly, and my kids do too. All of our kids do too. And we all have it. But he loves me through it all. And my kids do too.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:33

That's great. Is there anything else you want to close with? Anything uh we left out in your story? Anything you want to share?

SPEAKER_06 1:11:41

I don't I don't think we left anything out. I'll probably remember when I get home. But I I would like to say maybe just some words of advice.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:51

Sure.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:51

Like be okay with you. Stop comparing yourself to everyone. My students do it every day. And I just want to grab them and say, stop. Look how good you are. You may not be perfect at this, but you're perfect at that. And they want to be like you in that area area. Um find your talents and use them. God gave them to you for a reason. Um it took me a long time, but I did. And I'm so grateful that I was still enough to listen. It just took me too long. But I did it. And you can too.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:31

Thank you.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:32

Thank you. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:33

Yeah, you you killed it.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:34

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:35

Absolutely. How do you feel now?

SPEAKER_06 1:12:38

Good.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:39

Yeah. It's an amazing story, you know, and I I think there's a lot of really in this day and age, you throw in social media, you know, for these these young girls and boys combined and all the um, you know, the self-doubt that they all face. We all face that, right?

SPEAKER_05 1:12:55

Every day.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:56

Um and you know, just just hearing your story and and the the trigger of of your sister going off to college and and all the things that that came from that. I mean, who would ever thought that? You know, and it wasn't anything that specifically happened, it was all in your mind.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:11

It was all in my own yet, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:13

But um we're not we're not on, right?

SPEAKER_06 1:13:16

We're all on. We are still on? Yeah. Oh, okay.

unknown 1:13:18

Sorry.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:20

No, it I didn't even realize it until I was filling out the thing for you. And, you know, you start, like I said earlier, you I can't remember what I ate for breakfast. I can't, I lose my car keys every day. But I can remember those things that I shared so vividly. I can remember a very specific brand that a girl was wearing at UK. I could remember the color of it. Isn't that bizarre how your mind works? Um, I can remember the knock on my bathroom door. I can remember the conversation with Dr. Perlman, which by the way, I need to make an appointment and go apologize to him because he was right and I should have listened. So all of those things that happen in your life, um, it is like our life is a book and it's just one chapter after another. And I was at a um PD, a professional development last year, and the question was asked, and we had to answer one or the other, if you could go back and and um change something in your life, what would you change? Or if you could like know what's gonna happen in the future. And I said, I don't want to do either, because it's my life. And just one change would have changed everything. It would have been like a domino effect. And I've learned so much through just hard things, but I've persevered and I've become stronger. Um, and I would say I'm a very strong person and I have a very strong will. Um, but looking back at my younger self, I would have never believed that I could persevere or go through all that I've gone through. And I just, and now instead of um, I didn't even get into my corn allergy. So I sorry, I I had a severe corn allergy. It it I went from doctor to doctor to doctor. I don't want to keep going. Um, nobody would listen to me. Everybody told me I was crazy. Um, I kept saying, is it a food allergy? And they said, no, you know, it's in your head. No. And I my it was like 12 doctors later. I go back to Dayton. I was at Cleveland Clinic and everything. Go back to Dayton and um found an allergist and he said, Yeah, I don't know what you're allergic to, but we're gonna find it. And he did. And through all of that, um, at first I was like, why? Why me? I was angry. And I'm scarred. I have scars all over my arms. And for years I wouldn't even wear like short sleeves in the summer. It'd be 90 degrees, and you'd see me in long sleeves. I don't care anymore. Like, I earned every one of those scars, and it's okay. Um, but but every trial I went through, and that was one of the biggest things in my life. Um, but over time I learned to adapt. I used it in my teaching, my first year teaching, I really struggle with my students because I was their second teacher. And, you know, and so I used that. And I pulled my sleeves up and I showed them my scars. I'd never shown anybody. And I said, look, it's okay. Like I know you're all struggling, but we all struggle. And and I showed them and I think it made a connection. Um, but but I've tried to learn. I've tried to be a teacher that creates a safe space for her kids. We do a circle time. Um when I feel somebody's struggling, and the kids know what's what is said here stays here. It's like, you know, like the Vegas at CTC, um, Turner's classroom. And they know they can trust each other, and they they truly believe it and they know it, and they share things that you would never think a student would share with other students. And they respect it.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:22

Well, and that's the power of vulnerability, right? And it takes someone like you who's been through all the things that you've been through to be vulnerable with your students and to open up and to share and say, hey, look, I'm not perfect, right? I've been through a lot of things in my life. Here, look at my arms, you know. And and once you do that, then it it shows them that you're human and that you're not just the teacher, you know, you are a human being who's been through things.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:47

I want to piggyback on that. I think it's also important to show that it's okay to make mistakes. I never want to be a teacher that won't apologize. And, you know, you might you might have an administrator or whatever say, you know, you don't you don't want to do that. It'll it might be a sign of of weakness or whatever. And not that mine has ever said that, but I would never be that teacher. If I make a mistake and and I have done it so many times, I try so hard to take that and learn from it and share with students. Um I mean, there was one very specific time that I, I mean, I raised my voice at a student and I was mortified. And my cup was full, it exploded on her. It was just the timing was horrible. Um, I called my boss, I told him myself. I called her mom, I told her mom, I apologized in front of the whole classroom, and it was horrible. But in that moment, I became a different teacher because I saw that those students' eyes lit up like she apologized. Of course. And I do make mistakes all the time. Teaching's hard, it's really hard, but it is so rewarding to watch a group of students come through and not believe in themselves and pour into them day in and day out and make them know that they can do it. They just need someone to support them. And that's that's why I'm here. And I that whole journey was to get me to be a teacher. I just didn't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:28

And you think back to, you know, when you're dealing with anorexia and bulimic and how your mom, when she approached you, like you were scared to death, like your mom's gonna come in with a hammer, like, you know, going to be disappointed in you, and instead she spoke life into you. She did.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:40

She looked at me in love.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:41

Yeah, and then you know, I don't need help, I don't need help. And then she takes you to go talk to somebody, you know, her and your dad, and then all of a sudden, you know, they prayed about it, and then it's like, we we believe in you, like you can do it. Like they spoke life into you, and then now you're speaking life into all these kids. It's just, you know, that was a very tough time, I'm sure, like your whole entire high school. But now all of a sudden you're back in high school changing these kids' lives and what I think an environment that's really tough. I mean, it's tougher than what I went through, I believe you guys went through with all the social media and everything that you see is way more than it's ever meant for the other.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:13

I'm so glad we didn't have social media. I am so thankful.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:18

I'm glad we didn't have iPhones. Yeah, caught me at the library all those late hours.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:27

I do try to use my social media for positive. I don't I don't like anything negative on mine, pictures and you know sunsets and all the things.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:34

But yeah. Mandy, what a story. Thank you again for sharing. Uh very, very powerful. And no doubt your family's proud. But you're you're gonna hear it. I'm excited to see what comes of this for you and uh not only from your family, but from your students and those uh who you've taught throughout the years. It's it's powerful. So thank you.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:56

To sit in this seat where the 89 people before me have sat. Um it gives me too it's such an honor to even think that I would remotely be included in those people. So thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:13

Well, we're an amazing person. Yeah, we're honored to have you. It's and and it what's cool, and everybody in our community knows you and knows your energy and your passion and uh your excitement, and and you're just always smiling and full. What you call me the other, what was it, a Friday night? We were getting ready to go to a basketball game, and here you pop up on my phone and you're like, Dan, hey, look out your window. There's a bald eagle out here. I'm like, where are you at? I'm on the west side and you park your car in the middle of 122, get out because you want to take a picture of a bald eagle.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:44

Jimmy's gonna know where I was parked.

unknown 1:21:46

I just pulled over.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:47

I'm like, there's a bald eagle done, get outside.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:49

And then as you're talking to me, there's cars stopping because I think you're broke down.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:54

You're like, no, no, no, I'm just taking a picture of the bald eagle. Well, then a couple people stopped and took pictures too.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:01

I mean, that eagle was looking at me. We had a con we had a connection. He was probably thinking, I want to eat your brains for dinner, but I'm just glad a semi didn't pop over the hill.

unknown 1:22:10

I know.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:10

It was probably not smart. Jim Jimmy says I'm gonna get cracked on the road sometime because I don't make good decisions.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:17

But that that's who you are, the energy, the passion, you know, and and what's cool is is you see those things. Oh, I you know, people in life today are so busy. And uh, you know, how many people probably drove by and didn't see that bald eagle, but you saw it.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:32

Oh, I'm always looking.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:33

Yeah, yeah. So it it was just it's just funny. I love the energy, I love the passion, the excitement, uh, the positivity. It's all it's what we're all about.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:42

That energy gets old at 11 o'clock at night, though.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:47

Oh Jimmy.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:48

For God. But thank you so much to all of you.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:51

Yeah, thank you. All right. We've got, I believe, if I got my dates right when this airs, tomorrow will be the next gratitude walk. So February 7th. So we'll have our second gratitude walk tomorrow, which will be at Hayes Arboretum. And uh we encourage anyone and everyone, uh, all walks of life, all ages to come out and join us. Last month we had 41 people show up, which we were blown away by, extremely grateful for. So we hope uh we have double that uh tomorrow, and we hope to see you all out there and rain or shine, whatever the weather is, we'll be there. So I heard it's gonna be 70. Yeah. That's what I heard too.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:34

But I I think this is the 30th. I don't want to be wrong.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:38

You think it is? Well, maybe I'm wrong.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:40

Well, if I'm wrong, that is correct.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:42

I think it's in a week. Yeah, I think the walk is in a week. Right. So I'm wrong tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:45

We were just trying to get everybody excited that it was tomorrow.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:48

So I've called him out twice today.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:50

I'm just kidding. Yeah, we're just kidding. We're we're waiting to see if you made an excuse to not show up tomorrow. So now we can say now it's a week from tomorrow.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:57

Boss man didn't ask his uh marketing director.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:00

We were looking, but we couldn't see you over the glass.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:03

This is where it all falls apart. This is airing on the 30th. So next week. Yes. So you have a week to prepare like we said. Thank God we can cut some of that. We can cut this out, right? I'm sure Kevin will cut it out. Make us look good. That's what makes it fun. Uh thank you for that, Mandy. Yeah. That's the second time you've called me out today.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:23

I know. Sorry. I'm fired.

Outro Sponsor And Patreon Invitation

SPEAKER_04 1:24:24

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SPEAKER_02 1:25:05

I want to share something that's become a big part of the Be Tempered mission: Patreon. Now, if you've never used it before, Patreon is a platform where we can build community together. It's not just about supporting the podcast, it's about having a space where we can connect on a deeper level, encourage one another, and walk this journey of faith, resilience, and perseverance side by side. Here's how it works. You can join as a free member and get access to daily posts, behind the scenes updates, encouragement, and some things I don't always put out on other platforms. And if you feel called to support the mission financially, there are different levels where you can do that too. That support helps us keep producing the podcasts, creating gear, hosting events, and sharing stories that we believe can truly impact lives. And here's the cool part. Patreon has a free app you can download right on your phone. It works just like Facebook or Instagram, but it's built specifically for our community. You'll be able to scroll through posts, watch videos, listen to content, and interact with others who are on the same journey. At the end of the day, this isn't just about content. It's about connection. It's about building something together. Not just me and Ben putting out episodes, but a family of people committed to growing stronger through real stories and real faith. So whether you just want to hop on as a free member or you feel called to support in a bigger way, Patreon is the door into that community. Because at the heart of Be Tempered has always been simple real stories, raw truth, resilient faith. So that even one person out there that hears what they need to hear, and Patreon helps make that possible.