BeTempered Episode 100 - Real Stories From People Who Stopped Hiding and Started Healing

Episode 100 isn’t polished and that’s the point.

This time, it’s not one guest sitting across the table. It’s a room full of people who have lived it. People who have carried addiction, trauma, loss, shame, and still chose to show up anyway.

On this episode of the BeTempered Podcast, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr step into something different. You’ll hear voices from past conversations and new ones stepping forward for the first time. Stories like Joni Reed and others who reached a moment where saying the hard thing out loud changed everything.

You can feel it happen in real time. That moment where the weight comes off. Not just for the person speaking, but for everyone listening.

We talk about addiction recovery, eating disorders, trauma that stayed buried for years, and the ripple effect of honesty. The kind that breaks cycles. The kind that makes faith personal again.

If you’ve followed this journey, you’ve heard stories from people who looked fine on the outside but were fighting battles no one saw. Episode 100 brings that all into one room. No filters. No pretending.

We also get real about what this has cost. Carrying these stories doesn’t come without weight. It affects marriages, families, and energy, and we don’t avoid that conversation.

Then we look ahead.

The BeTempered Standard is coming. A program focused on students, resilience, and real conversations before life forces those conversations later.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re carrying something no one else understands, this episode is for you.

Watch and subscribe at https://betempered.com

Support the mission at https://patreon.com/betempered

Transcript

Sponsor And Patreon Invitation

SPEAKER_06 0:00

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SPEAKER_03 0:04

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SPEAKER_06 0:26

Patrons Glass, a clear choice.

SPEAKER_04 0:29

I want to share something that's become a big part of the Be Tempered mission. Patreon. Now, if you've never used it before, Patreon is a platform where we can build community together. It's not just about supporting the podcast, it's about having a space where we can connect on a deeper level, encourage one another, and walk this journey of faith, resilience, and perseverance side by side. Here's how it works. You can join as a free member and get access to daily posts, behind the scenes updates, encouragement, and some things I don't always put out on other platforms. And if you feel called to support the mission financially, there are different levels where you can do that too. That support helps us keep producing the podcasts, creating gear, hosting events, and sharing stories that we believe can truly impact lives. And here's the cool part. Patreon has a free app you can download right on your phone. It works just like Facebook or Instagram, but it's built specifically for our community. You'll be able to scroll through posts, watch videos, listen to content, and interact with others who are on the same journey. At the end of the day, this isn't just about content, it's about connection. It's about building something together. Not just me and Ben putting out episodes, but a family of people committed to growing stronger through real stories and real faith. So whether you just want to hop on as a free member or you feel called to support in a bigger way, Patreon is the door into that community. Because at the heart of Be Tempered has always been simple real stories, raw truth, resilient faith, so that even one person out there that hears what they need to hear, and Patreon helps make that possible. Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, where we explore the art of finding balance in a chaotic world.

SPEAKER_14 2:14

Join us as we delve into insightful conversations, practical tips, and inspiring stories to help you navigate life's ups and downs with grace and resilience.

SPEAKER_04 2:22

We're your host, Dan Schmidt, and Ben Sparr. Let's embark on a journey to live our best lives.

Episode 100 In A Roomful

SPEAKER_14 2:28

This is Be Tempered.

SPEAKER_04 2:30

What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, episode number 100. Are you sure?

SPEAKER_13 2:37

100%. Get it.

SPEAKER_04 2:43

Hey, this one is special. Welcome to the hundredth episode of the Be Tempered Podcast. Tonight looks a little different. We're not sitting across from just one guest. We're sitting in a room full of people. People who have been a part of this journey, people who believe in what it stands for, people who have lived it, and many of you have had the courage to sit in the seat and share your story. And I just want to start by saying thank you. Thank you for being here tonight. Thank you for trusting this platform. Thank you for your vulnerability vulnerability, your honesty, and your willingness to go there. Be temperate is not about perfection. It's not about having it all figured out. It's about going through the fire and choosing to come out stronger. It's about having real conversations, the kind most people avoid. It's about being bold in your story, in your struggles, and in your faith. And if we're being honest, this moment right here, episode 100, I didn't think it ever happened. This podcast started with a simple idea just to sit down and have real conversations. And what it's became, the people it's connected, the lives it's impacted, it's all because of you guys. The ones in this room and the ones listening right now. So to every listener, every guest, every person who has shared an episode, sent a message, or leaned in when they needed something, thank you. You're the reason this exists. Tonight isn't scripted, it isn't polished, it will not be perfect. It's real. It's an open conversation about impact, about growth, about what happens when people stop pretending and start sharing. We want to talk about what be temperate has meant to you guys, why you feel connected to it, and how simply being vulnerable and opening up and even being bold in your faith has changed something in your life. Because at the end of the day, this isn't about a podcast. It's about people, it's about community. It's about helping the one person who might be struggling realize that they're not alone. And if we can continue to do that, if we can continue to make our community stronger, if we can continue to give back in whatever way we're called to, then this, everything we're doing right here, is worth it. So welcome to episode 100. What do you think, Ben?

SPEAKER_13 5:08

I think it's great. I think there's a lot of beautiful faces out here, though.

SPEAKER_04 5:12

It's intimidating, though.

SPEAKER_13 5:13

It is intimidating, like I take them in trouble.

SPEAKER_04 5:16

It's like I'm sitting in front of a jury. Yeah. How's everybody doing?

SPEAKER_13 5:23

Doing well.

SPEAKER_04 5:24

Doing good? Sean, how are you doing? Great. What do you think about episode 100?

SPEAKER_15 5:32

Uh, I mean, I'm not surprised at all. At all. With uh it's an honor to be in behind the scenes to kind of heal, to see the healing that not only took place with me, but the guests that I can sit across from them and just watch the weight come off their back. And it's amazing.

How Sharing Lifts The Weight

SPEAKER_04 5:52

I agree. I think you know, for me, that's probably been the most powerful part of this whole thing is when you sit across from someone like Mandy Turner or like Joni Reed, and you and you watch that weight being lifted off as they share that testimony, and in some cases, share things they may never shared. You know, for me, it's just been um it's been a process, it's been a lot of growth, uh, growth in my faith, um, growth as a man, uh, growth to understand how blessed I am and how so many people struggle, and we don't see it. And so, you know, with that being said, um, for those of you who've been on the podcast and you want to share, what's been the biggest surprise or change in your life since you've shared your story? Anyone want to start? Don't make me call on somebody.

SPEAKER_16 7:00

Do you hear me good? Okay. Where's the camera at, anyways? Is that that red light? Oh, okay. I just wanted to make sure I got a good angle. Get the good side, get the good side. It was not a good side. Right anyway, so for me, I I didn't really think people cared that much, you know. And I've had look, there's so many people have approached me. I don't have social media, I don't have Facebook. So, like, I didn't even, I really didn't even know after I did the podcast, she was coming to me, my wife. This is this is Reggie, my wife.

SPEAKER_05 7:42

Hi, Reggie.

SPEAKER_16 7:44

Um anyway, she she tells me what's going on. I don't know. I'm just out there in Lala Land, I have no idea, but uh so many people has is have approached me, and um there's been a few people in particular that at church, you know, um I didn't think that what I had to say would impact somebody like that. And I'm just thankful that I I was able to um to help just that one person, you know, and I it's there's been a lot of people. I um I didn't you I didn't watch my podcast. I I've this is this kind of the way I see it is um I felt God working through me when I did my podcast. I could feel it, you know. And I feel like if I sit and watch it, I'd critique it and wish I could have done this or said this or whatever. And I just left it be for what it is, you know. So um I it was just amazing at all the people that have approached me and and um you know I'm just thankful for you guys, you know, to have a platform to to to be able to uh uh share my story, you know. Um I'm not ashamed of the things that I've been that I've been through or the things that I've done has shaped me into who I am, and I'm grateful for it. I I really am, and I'm grateful that you guys are doing this, and there's so many different stories, and you know, everybody can get a little better out of each one, and what you guys are doing is absolutely amazing. So thank you guys, and I you know I I really appreciate what you guys are doing.

SPEAKER_04 9:36

Thank you, Zach. I well, you know this because we talked about it, you know, in person, and then when you recorded your podcast, you know, you were you were the first one for me where God kind of punched me in the mouth, you know. You know, Reagan had reached out to me a year prior, and we talked about this on your episode. And um, you know, I judged you, you know, and um that was really an eye-opening experience for me when you came into the office and you sat down and you shared your your testimony, and I thought, man, who am I to judge someone like you? You know, and so um, you know, you you were the start of you know having someone who's been through such profound addiction in their life, how you can actually get out of it. Because how I always looked at it was like, well, they're an addict, you know, they're never gonna get out of that. You know, it's got its it's got its grasp. And here you are today, you know, and uh, and it's an amazing journey that you've been on. And so grateful for you and Reagan, grateful for you, you know, pushing his story towards us. And and I apologize to you. I know I apologize to him. I'm sorry that you know it took it took me a year to uh to get over my pride or whatever I was feeling.

SPEAKER_16 10:57

So I felt the same way. I felt the same way you did. An addict doesn't recover, you know. I I was lost in my addiction, and I felt the same way you did. I had lost hope in myself. I thought that this is the way I was gonna live, and I had come to terms with it, you know. I I think my story was impactual. People love a train wreck, you know what I'm saying? And I was a train wreck, so I mean it really, I don't think it was anything I did particularly. It's just a lifestyle. I went pretty far down that rabbit hole, and I think people they like to to see that. Like he has went so far this direction, he's made it back, you know. I that that's what helps me to stay sober, you know. Yeah, is um we gotta have those people out there that that actually make it to the other side, you know, or or we're people are gonna lose hope in addicts and we're gonna lose support. So, you know, it keeps me going. So that's awesome.

SPEAKER_13 12:05

It's awesome. So one of the things I feel like is really important. Um, because when we started, you know, we didn't, we were just like, we'll figure out and talk about books and stuff like that. But our goal was always like help that one person, like we just help one person, like that's the goal, right? Well, like in my eyes, like when you shared yours, you know, I lost somebody um in my family who pair went overdose. And um, so it was really powerful for me because it's like I wasn't able to help them, right? And you hear like people talk about addicts, like, well, once they're an addict, like they're not gonna be able to get out of it. But when people like you who do beat it, like share their testimony and like give somebody a pathway, like, you know what, this dude did it, like I can do it too. So, like, people like you and like everybody that share on the the podcast, like each one has a different story that I feel like affects like another one, and it's just awesome because it's it multiplies what we could have done with one person, like our stories, like it's not gonna help that many people, but when everybody's willing to share and be vulnerable, like I feel like that's the big thing that God wants us all to do, you know? And I feel like the more that we do that, the more this movement grows, and the more people will share and you know help and you know fix the world one person at a time.

SPEAKER_04 13:16

Yeah. Anyone else want to share biggest surprise or change?

SPEAKER_09 13:22

Um, when I talked with you and went through all the questions, I had talked to you like originally and was going to share something completely different. But then when I was sitting, you know, in my living room typing up all these questions, it just started coming out of me. I don't even know where it came from. Um and then when I came here and I shared what I shared, I had no idea. I did it to literally help, even if it was like you just said, one person. That's all I wanted. But in return, the healing that it has brought me that I didn't even know for all these years. I mean, my most of my life. I I have been able to relate better to students just since then, even though I thought I was doing okay. Um, it's completely changed how I look at every single person because I I think I just got it out of me. Um and that might sound crazy. Um, so I was, like you said, blown away at the response of people. I just, I mean, you told me it would happen, you and Sean both, and I still had people, oh, I just now, just last week, I just now got to watch and I can't believe it. And just the support from people I know, people I don't know. Um, when when I shared I had an eating disorder, I I even said to you guys, I don't really think it's a thing anymore. Well, guess what it is? And so many people, and I talked to Sean and said, you know, it'd be kind of cool if like I came up with some kind of like monthly, like have people, I haven't got through all those logistics, but I think it would be really neat to help in that aspect. Um, but then to talk about be tempered and what why I'm so supportive of it. There is so much negative in this world. And even on social media, sometimes I just I don't want any part of that. I don't want to share anything negative, I don't want to be negative, I don't want to read negative, and so it's so refreshing to have something that is so positive. And to see each person that I've I've watched all of yours, almost all of yours. Um, and we each are human, right? And we each have different problems, but it's not what what we did or mistakes, or it's what you did with it, and it's how far you've come. And I I feel like most of us have had that same, you know, God took us through it from all the ones that I've seen so far. And so it's just so refreshing, and I'm so thankful and blessed to be a part of it and honored to be sitting in this room for with all of you, and I'm grateful to the whole crew um for what you're doing. And you and I'll shut up here in a minute.

SPEAKER_05 16:14

I talk a lot.

SPEAKER_09 16:15

Um you mentioned, I think it was Joni and Donald, right? You mentioned that you went home and you just went to bed. So I think people don't realize like you guys sitting in there and you you almost absorb it. And and then you have to process like, oh my goodness. So that's a lot. So I know you know you have Kim and your whole beautiful family, and Ben and Sean, like I'm sure you guys go home and you have to deal with that too. So I'm appreciative of all you personally go through just to make this all happen.

When The Hosts Carry The Stories

SPEAKER_04 16:54

So thank you. I appreciate you saying that. And you know, Kim and I had a pretty lengthy conversation yesterday because there's um, you know, I I do, I I feel it, you know, and and I'll tell you, you know, I've always been a good Christian man and and um strong in my faith, but nothing like the last six months. And, you know, sitting and listening to Joni share her story with Sean and I for the first time, or Zach. I mean, it absolutely ripped my heart out. I mean, it ripped my heart out because I've lived such an amazing, blessed life that I can't even fathom what you guys have gone through. And so I I feel it, and you know, I can't help but relate it to Jesus. You know, every time we sin, is that what he, if he feels that, like, oh, like it exhausts me. I mean, you can ask Kim when I go home. I mean, she knows, I don't know, I don't even have to say anything. She knows that I've either met with someone or we've done a podcast. She can just tell because it is exhausting. It is um, it's more exhausting than any workout challenge I've ever done in my life. But I'm grateful for it because I can see how it's helped you, Mandy. I can see Joni, Donald, everybody here, Zach, you know. Um so if it takes me a little bit of suffering that I've never had to feel before, then that's what I'm gonna do. So thank you for sharing. I don't know if you feel the same way. A lot of times, Ben, you know, a lot of times I'll hear the story twice, and Ben hears it raw in here in the studio. And so we've all gone kind of back and forth on if Ben should be in the pre-meetings or not. And we like the fact that it's raw for him. I don't think he likes it. Maybe you know, maybe you can talk about that a little bit.

SPEAKER_13 19:03

Yeah, no, sometimes I just feel like I'm ill prepared. Like all of a sudden you get hit by a train, then like for five minutes, I'm sitting here like, well, how did that just happen to her? And then I'm like, wait a minute, what's we talking about now? Like, you know what I mean? Like it just yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:17

So I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry.

SPEAKER_13 19:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:21

Anyone else have anything they want to share based on sharing their story or a change or anything that's happened?

Joni Reed Finds Freedom From Guilt

SPEAKER_15 19:30

This is Joni Reed.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

Yeah, I I too, I mean, I just want to reiterate the um how honored and blessed that I've been to just be a part of this. Um, I am in recovery and I live and breathe. Recovery and sharing your testimony is a big part of that. Um, it's pretty common in my world for people to share their testimony, and I've shared my testimony over the last eight years um countless times. Um, and there are times when I share my testimony. Um I don't know exactly how to describe it, it was different this time. And I feel like there is an openness when you guys listen, and you really are able to just set an atmosphere that makes it really easy to be open and to be vulnerable. Um, like I felt safe to share really difficult things. And so there were things that I shared in my testimony this time that I don't usually share and maybe never have. One of the parts that I shared in that testimony was about my mom that she had committed suicide, and um I was her caretaker, and I had um hid her medicine in her house instead of you know keeping it in my car or at my house. And she had found that bottle of medicine and had overdosed, and that's what took her life. And so um, I had never shared that uh really in my testimony before. Um, and so when I got done with the kind of pre-interview, um Dan told me, I really feel led to tell you that what happened was not your fault. And um, you know, that touched me that he said that. Um, but I thought at the time, I thought it was from Dan. And so I don't know that it carried a ton of weight. I mean, I appreciated you saying that and everything like that. Um, and then I went to a celebrate recovery meeting that same evening. And uh one of the people that come to the meeting um said, I I just I have a word from the Lord just burning inside of me. And would it be okay if I share that sometime? And I said, Yeah, absolutely. Share it tonight. Um, and so I got up, I was getting ready to lead worship, and I was sitting at the piano, and he got up there. And and said word for word, what Dan had said to me earlier that day. And he said, somebody he, the Lord really wants somebody in this room to know that what happened was not your fault. And, you know, there's a scripture in the Bible that says, out of the mouth of two or three witnesses, a matter is um established. And so when he said that, um I knew then that God was speaking to me, that it wasn't just Dan and it wasn't just this guy, but it was um that it was the Lord telling me. And I had first, you know, for 12 years since my mom passed, you know, I've prayed a hundred times to forgive my mom for leaving me, you know. Um, and I I've known that that there was something there that I hadn't quite dealt with, a soul wound. Um, but I I thought it was because I was holding unforgiveness towards her or, you know, resentment for abandoning me or something like that. And it had never in all of these years had it occurred to me that I needed to forgive myself or I needed to receive God's forgiveness or, you know, anything like that. And so in that moment, like I was just overcome by the healing power of Jesus Christ in that area of my heart and in my life. And the very next morning, Donald and I were going somewhere and he was driving, and I was scrolling Facebook reels in the car, and a song came on. And I immediately, even as the music started, I just uh felt the weight of it in the spirit. And so it caught my attention and I began to listen to the song, and it was um a song that um my mom and I had my mom played bluegrass music, and so she kind of trained me up in music and that we um used to sing the song when I was growing up, and I hadn't heard the song in 20 years, you know, and the words to it were so profound in that moment for me. Um, and it it was just uh about a mother, a mother telling her her child that like I'm weary and I'm I'm about to cross over Jordan and the angels are about to take me home. And um, and I just wept. I just wept in the car um because it was it was the Lord healing my heart. And and so I'm grateful um that I was able to be here and just that God used this, you know. I thought I was sharing my story, but God was using it to heal me. And, you know, my prayer was that um it if it would just touch, impact one person, God just let this, you know, touch one person. And I was so surprised, you know, talk about surprise. I was surprised because I got a message from a lady that had gone through our program a couple of years ago, and her son messaged me the other day and said, Um, he's like 20 years old, I think. And he said, I watched your story, and he said, and I cried all the way through it. And he said, I've never been affected like that with anything in my life. And um, he just thanked me, you know, for sharing. And then his mom messaged me the next morning and said that he deleted his Instagram account, which was full of a bunch of negativity and nonsense, and he posted something about Jesus with a picture of Jesus and a gospel song, and he prayed over dinner and said he's going to church, and that touched my heart because I never would have thought a you know, a young, a young guy like that was going to be impacted, but you know it's what God does. So I'm thankful.

SPEAKER_04 25:46

Wow. Thank you for sharing that, Joni. Uh you told me that or told us that before we recorded the podcast, your podcast, and um man, it just really stuck with me. And um, I I think Sean, I'd like you to to share uh what happened when we were doing Joni's podcast. I knew you'd say that.

SPEAKER_15 26:07

I only told two people this, uh, Donald's one and you're the other. Um so first off, when we were doing the pre-meeting, um, I'm an emotional guy, y'all know me. Like I cry and like I get emotional easy. That guy, Dan, does not. And we were both fighting like crocodile tears after your story. Like when guests leave, me and Dan just sit there and we'll talk. I think we just stared at each other and said, Wow, like that is the most horrific story, but then again, beautiful story we've ever heard. Um and um so when you were sitting over there and I was right in here, um, and Dan Dan was like, Hey, do you guys want to pray? And you know, you said, Yeah, I'll pray. I was standing right there where Luke is, and I have never, when you started praying, I've never felt a feeling. Like I know what the Holy Ghost feels like. Usually it's just in my head and my chest. It went through my whole body, and it was the whole time you prayed. I have no clue why. But like it just I I I can't explain the feeling, but it went through my entire body. And I told Dan that, and then I told Donald when we were eating after your podcast, and he goes, You should see her pray with hands-on people. And I was just like, Well, but it was it was the Lord, it was it was powerful, and I don't like I was I don't I don't even I don't know why all of a sudden it just went like it went through my whole body, my whole entire body.

Episodes That Changed How We Live

SPEAKER_04 27:50

So it's amazing, it it was quiet, it's nuts. Yeah, I mean, just just powerful. It's um yeah, I don't know. I'm I'm at a loss for words, and um, you know, just just grateful to that God gave you guys all the strength to get through, you know, the challenges that you faced throughout your life and and to come out here and to be sitting here right now, you know, it's amazing. So I want to ask a question. This can be anybody. What episode impacted you the most? For those of you to watch, I know you guys probably haven't seen all of them, but is there an episode that has has impacted you the most in a certain way? Uh and may actually have made you change the way you think or live. How about you, Ben?

SPEAKER_13 28:46

Well, I I was thinking sitting here thinking, like Maddie, your first one.

SPEAKER_04 28:50

Um in the basement.

SPEAKER_13 28:52

Yeah, like seeing was the first I didn't mean the interview did it.

SPEAKER_11 29:00

It wasn't a video then.

SPEAKER_04 29:02

Yes, it was. Yeah, that's pretty raw.

SPEAKER_13 29:05

Yeah, it wasn't a cartoon, so it wasn't as good as they and my first one. But no, I mean your whole like the first hearing that story because you know I first met you on the job site before you even came in and talked, and I see the work that you do, and then you go back and you learn how you did it. And that that impacted me grateful, like great, like just big time because especially doing the podcast. Like, I I always joke with Dan that Dan's a communication major from Dayton and I'm a diploma from Dixie. Um, like this is outside my comfort zone talking to people, like not a public speaker, it's just not what I what I am or who I am. Um, and that's okay, that's the way God made me. But like you see how you went from living in your car, figuring out how to do jobs, like just it shows that if you put your mind to it, you can do anything. Like you just put your mind to it, figure out a way, and do it. And that that impacted me gratefully. So if that's even a word.

SPEAKER_04 30:00

Well, and for those that don't know, Maddie, maybe share that because that went back to that, might have been episode two or three. Yeah. Um, maybe share your journey from you you moved to Indiana, you were gonna be a pastor, right? At a church was kind of the plan, and then that didn't necessarily work out as a full-time gig. So you decide you're gonna be a contractor. That is an amazing story. Talk about how you sell your first job and then you didn't know what you were doing. And Google it at the same time in the library.

SPEAKER_11 30:35

Well, um, yeah, so I I came here in uh 2007. I grew up in southern Wisconsin originally, and so I came here to do an internship at a church, fully intending to become a paid pastor. Like that was what I was gonna do for a job. And so I did this internship and it lasted about six months. And then um, so I started in 2007, it's now 2008, and the internship was over, and the church wasn't large enough for any more staff, and so uh I needed uh I I I needed money. Um, I didn't decide to become a contractor, I was desperate and I just wanted to eat. And so um so I tried to get a job. It was 2008, and the market had fallen apart and there was no work to be had. And uh I uh I I wasn't from around here, and so kind of uh it's not what you know, it's who you know. I didn't know anybody, and so um I did I just I couldn't get work. And so I said, well, I'll just I'll start out working, and I had a little, little bit of carpentry experience uh from high school and college. And I was the only other thing I thought I could do. And so I just said I'll I'll be a sub and I'll, you know, anyone that any I'll do any work that that that we can do that that I'll do it and just just so I can get some money. And uh so really again, there was no grand business plan. It was just I'm desperate, I need to eat, and I need to pay my bills. Um, the one thing that was really important to me was that I really appreciated the, you know, the relationship that I had developed with the church and I wanted to continue that. And I felt like that was the spot where the Lord had been working in my life and I've been growing uh in my faith. And so I was like, I don't really want to lose that. And so I never really considered leaving, uh, even though uh even though I there wasn't really anything keeping me here. And so I just decided I would stay, and and that it was gonna be God's responsibility to figure out the work. And so um, so you know, as I started to do this work, I realized I I didn't know what I was doing. I said, like I said, I had very little experience. And so um I would get asked to do jobs and I wouldn't know how to do them. And so I I would go uh to the library at night and I would get on the Wi-Fi because I couldn't afford any internet and I didn't have a smartphone, and I would Google what I needed to do the next day and hopefully make it work so that I could get paid. And again, I was just desperate. I wasn't brave, I wasn't courageous, I was desperate. And uh, and so that was kind of my entrance into the contracting world. But I think what is, you know, what was cool uh uh really about all of that is and really the theme that people have brought up here tonight. It's really not about what we did. Um ultimately, it's about what God does in our hearts and our lives. And, you know, in each situation, he's he's definitely working to force us to trust him and put us in a position where um it really isn't what I think is best for me. It's it's ultimately what is good for what what brings him glory and honor. And then I just get to be along for the ride of that. And so um I don't have like the you know, the kind of stories that are represented here. I don't have that kind of uh trauma in my life. Um what I have are different, but they're still the things that God used to bring me to trust him and and and and grow my relationship with him. And so um it's been a long journey of learning, a long journey of growing and changing. And uh, and he certainly isn't done because there's a lot to still work on here, but uh, but I'm grateful for how he's led each and every step of the way. And it just it's it's a miracle to put all the little pieces together and meeting the right people at the right time, and and uh, you know, the jobs that he gave me when people had no idea that what they were giving me was what I had to have in order to pay the bills that week. And uh, and so um just uh you know what what he did is was remarkable. I give him the praise for it.

Brotherhood From A YMCA Treadmill

SPEAKER_04 34:56

Yeah, that's a great, great testimony, great story. Just you know, just in perseverance. I mean, I think that's everybody's everybody's story. Life's hard. Like it's really, really hard. Sometimes we make it harder than it needs to be, but um, you know, at the end of the day, it's just amazing how no matter what, if you truly have faith and you believe and you just keep taking that step, you'll get through it, right? It doesn't mean you're gonna get through it quickly, but you'll get through it eventually. So, Murph, I'd like you to speak a little bit because you and I have a little bit of a unique connection. Uh, and that connection comes from uh the treadmill at the YMCA. And so, you know, I think it was probably maybe a little more than a year ago where uh, you know, you've got your assigned treadmill that you're on every morning at five. Don't get on it. And I I have an assigned treadmill beside you. I come a little bit later. Um, but you know, kind of an unlikely connection, I guess, a little bit. I mean, um, but you are a very uh unique man where you're not afraid to speak to anyone, and that's how the connection started. But you know, where it's gone from a year, year and a half ago, whatever it was on the treadmill to where it is now, it's pretty special. It's very special. And um, you know, I'm grateful for you. But what I'd like you to talk about a little bit is you didn't know me from Adam, right? When we met. And somehow, somehow, you found out about the podcast. And from there, it's kind of really uh our relationship has really tightened. And uh, it's been pretty cool for me to uh get to know you. And uh actually next week you'll be we'll be recording your episode, which I'm excited for people to hear. But talk about the growth that that you've seen in yourself in in the last year.

SPEAKER_12 36:58

Well, can I back up a minute? Yeah. You'd asked a question for the viewer or for the people that have been on the podcast about what Be Tempered has. Kevin, am I okay? Well, and first of all, first of all, I want to thank you, Dan. You're my little brother. Ben, Sean, Kevin, all of you that have have shared your testimony, and I'll get there in a minute. But be tempered, and what it means to me is, because I've been a viewer, I haven't said anything, I've just visually watched and observed. And oftentimes you can learn more by listening instead of talking. And I thought back to a time when Brother Greg, this was years ago, asked me to come up in church and pray at the close of church. I was nervous. I'm a Christian, I love the Lord. So I said a prayer. What do you think the first thing is that I asked my wife when I got back? What? How did I sound? Okay. And one of the things about this and what you guys have done is when I was growing up, Sean, I'm just like you, I'm very emotional. I can cry, happy, sad, but real men cry. My parents' generation, men didn't weren't given permission to cry. They had to be the tough, tough person, handle all the stuff in business, all the pressures. Our mom stayed home. And listen, when people say mother stayed home, mother worked. My mother worked. I'm gonna share that with you on Monday. My mother was a saint. Anyway, what has happened is this has changed today. And we all have been raised differently. But one of the things we've been taught early on in life is to hide our flaws. We gotta be together. We gotta, you know, I don't want anybody to know about that. And the thing about be tempered is I've watched every, not every, but most episodes I've gone back and tried to get caught up. But what has happened, the people that come on, I could not pick, you said pick a favorite one. I couldn't, because they're you know, one of the first ones that I went back and watched was Sean's. Lost his dad, lost his grandfather, his house burnt down, and then all the other ones. What you're doing here is so remarkable. You all have no idea where you're going to go. You have no idea. You're just you're just beginning. This could be something bigger and greater. Praise the Lord because the Lord is using you. And what you're doing is, all of you that have shared your testimony, there are so many people out there hurting. And the reason I couldn't pick up, I couldn't pick a favorite one, you're all fighting something different. And what you're doing is you're breeding confidence in other people that will not get up. But what you're doing, you're giving them permission to get up and share. And when you share, it helps those other people, it gives them the courage to maybe one day share. So you're helping all these people. But one thing about me, I I know this one, and it's not about me, you know, it's we, it's us, it's not I, it's not me. But I think it, I think it also, it's got I haven't done it yet. I'm doing it on a Monday, and I'm sure one of the things I'm gonna find out is I'm not only hoping I can help someone else. I know it's gonna help me. And when when you guys are who's ever been on the podcast, you all have helped me. And I'm just finding out how judgment how judgmental I am, how selfish I am, how I take things for granted. Go on to the to the the shoes for the shoeless, and you sit there and go, man. Anyway, I I'm I I I talk a long time, so I better I better get I better get on to what what um my my little brother. The reason I say that, you have got to see Billy Crystal's tribute to Muhammad Ali at his funeral. And I'll just leave it at that. Go to YouTube and look at it. Uh anyway. Thank you, Murph. But I'm not I'm not finished. I'm getting I'm getting old. Okay. You are saying how have I grow how have I grown? How have I grown through you? How yeah, not maybe three and a half. Uh I've grown immensely. And all these all the things that you all have done, uh, the thing I forgot to mention is, and Dan's gonna share us a minute, but he doesn't know it, and he'll I'll tell you then, if I remember. All right, I want you to think back to rite of passage. You're getting ready to go, and I said to you, what did I say to you? I said, I will pray for you. But I said, I live with a thing that when you say, when you say I'll pray for you, my question is, why don't you pray right now? And I've asked people, do you have a problem if I pray for you? And they've never said no to me. So pray right now. Let let let let the Lord use you, let let people see Jesus in you, okay? So anyway, I then I prayed for you. And you went and did the rite of passage, and I told you I'd pray for you. Do you remember what happened when we came back Monday the day you came back and we got on the treadmill? I asked you about it, and you started to tell me, what did I do? Sean's emotional. I broke down and cried like a baby. I was on a treadmill, people, all these guys around. I don't care. I really didn't. I was moved. And I just I just started balling like a baby. And I got went back and got on the elliptical. I'm still crying. I cry when I say, hear some of your stories. Because I haven't gone through that, you know. Isaiah 43 2. You know, the fire, the water, and and all that stuff. Yeah. But what I want to ask you. Don't quit, Ray. Don't quit. I want you to share with everyone here. Everybody finished, right? Yep. How many finished? There were 19 total.

SPEAKER_04 44:14

Could you expand on that? So there were actually 18 men, but there was one. I kept saying there was 19 when we did our um kind of reflection when Ben interviewed me, whatever episode that was, 61 after the rite of pass. That was two days after the rite of passage, and I kept saying 19, but there were only 18. But uh that one extra, yeah, that was Jesus. And Jesus was in Ray, and Ray was the one that uh, yeah. Thanks, Murph.

SPEAKER_12 44:46

You know, but you know, it all this I've I've I feel like I've known you for years. Yeah, I agree. I'm very tight with you. I love you, yeah, I love your family, yeah. Although you love your brother. I mean, it's it's and I can I I I respect you immensely. Wow, I respect what you do, and I'm not trying to put you on the spot, but it there's a love there. Men can love men, yeah. Okay. And uh, I'm gonna go home tonight and I'm gonna say I'm gonna say something I might want else I wanted to say, but you're my little brother. And I just I think you know, and we need to be focused, and we all are. The thing I like the the more on every all of the the uh people that shared their testimony, the key thing is they shared their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. If you do not love, you do not God, you do not know God because God is love. First John chapter 4, verse 8. Yeah, I'm humbled by knowing you, although I may not always show it.

SPEAKER_04 46:00

Thank you. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_13 46:02

You won't call him big brother.

SPEAKER_04 46:04

No.

SPEAKER_13 46:05

What was that, Ben? Ask Dan Pills gonna call him big brother.

SPEAKER_04 46:08

But you've got to watch the Billy Crystal Muhammad Ali thing. That's where he that's where he gets that. But thank you for sharing that, Murph. But it's uh, you know, when I did that rite of passage, I I don't know why, but I did think of you in the middle of the night because I thought, I'm you know, I'm not quitting because Ray didn't quit, but I'm not quitting because there's no way I'm going back getting on that treadmill and gonna listen to you.

SPEAKER_12 46:33

You know what? Monday, Wednesday, and Friday while I show up, I don't want to let you down. I appreciate you to talk. I appreciate I am addicted to pot to the B Towers. I'm not you know, I can't be more transparent than that.

What Loved Ones Never Told Us

SPEAKER_04 46:51

Well, I I really did not want this episode to be like a cheerleading session, so I I do appreciate that, but I I you know what I want everyone to get from this is that, and what I've realized is there are like what many of you said, there's so many people out there hurting, right? There's so many people out there struggling. Um, and it doesn't have to be addiction, it can be starting a business, right? You know, the the struggles with doing that. It can be, you know, having employees who are going through something that, you know, you you just have to sit there and listen and and and try to help them. It can be addiction, you know, it can be divorce, you know, it can be whatever it is. We're all facing struggles. It can be kids leaving the nest, you know. When the when your kids go off to college and you're and you're home by yourself with your husband, you gotta figure out what do we do now, right? Some of us know that in this room. Um and we want to talk about that. We won't put you on the spot, Kelly. Um, so was there someone that came on the podcast that maybe you knew and you thought you knew, and then you heard their testimony or you heard their story, and you thought, holy cow, I had no idea.

SPEAKER_15 48:14

Was there anybody? I'll I'll go first, then I'll give it to Donald. Um, it's episode 99 last week, Cindy Lee. Like that one shocked me.

SPEAKER_01 48:26

And so for me, I when I saw that Tracy Nutt was going to speak, that name seemed familiar to me. And it turns out it was the Tracy Nutt that I knew from 20 or 30 years ago. And my dad had worked with her dad, and I had no idea the trauma that she went through as a child. And so I was really moved by that. And in light of what's going on in the world with the cover-up with Epstein and all the kids being violated, and nothing is getting done about it, that really touched my heart that she got on and shared because I think that helps the victims realize that they do have a voice.

SPEAKER_04 49:04

Well, and I'll tell you that with Tracy, um, and I don't think he'll have a problem with me sharing this, but you know, the last gratitude walk that we had, um her husband was there. And um, you know, they kind of pulled me aside afterwards, and he just said, Thank you. He said, Because, you know, I knew that she had faced trauma, but I didn't know the depths. And I thought, holy cow. What do we as husbands and wives keep from our significant others? You know, maybe we share just a little bit, but why do we not share everything? Right? Why do we hold it back? It took however many years for Tracy to come on a podcast and share her testimony for her husband to really truly know the full story. And uh man, that really uh that really hit me. Um, and just to think about the healing that that helped their relationship. And so that that hers really, really, really just um it just kind of opened my eyes a little bit to really the the impact and how deep trauma can be that we hold it from those who are closest to us.

SPEAKER_16 50:26

So I want to go back to what you were saying. Um the format that you lay out helps us. Sometimes we like I'm in recovery, right? And I've shared my testimony a lot in the recovery setting, but this is different, you know. Uh it helps us navigate through when you guys ask us questions, just the whole uh the whole way that we navigate through it, sometimes it gets stuff out of us that we didn't know we had in there, you know. So maybe she the way that you guys navigate through it, it helps us to get out some of the things because I know in a recovery setting when I'm at a meeting sharing my testimony, it's just me and it's just getting it out. And there's no there's nobody sitting across the table guiding me through, and and you're really good at doing that, you know. Both of you are really good at navigating through the whole situation and digging out of certain things, um, and out of that comes stuff we didn't know we had, you know. And maybe she didn't tell her husband for a reason, maybe she thought she did, you know. I mean, I I I don't know, but um it helps. Yeah, it it definitely helps, and and and we're able to get across things to a wider you know variety of people, you know. I mean um so that's yeah, that's what I understand that Reagan.

SPEAKER_15 52:06

I was gonna say, I want you to talk about what his podcast has done for you.

SPEAKER_08 52:11

Um okay. I so a couple of things. One, I learned in his, I didn't know he ever made honor roll, so I I learned something. I um I was I was sitting at a hospital room and I started cracking up laughing. I couldn't believe it. Um so there's just things like um, but in that with what we were just talking about, there was things in my life that I did not realize I kind of shoved down. Um and when Lisa Chandler did hers, um that was probably the most impactful one I have listened to. And I actually messaged her. We met with her and her husband and had lunch one day because she blew my mind. Um she said some things that healed parts of me I didn't know needed healed. Um I had been through some things in my childhood, been through some traumas that I just forgot about, that I just kind of just it just I shoved it to the side because I didn't want to deal with it. And so he didn't know about it because I didn't want to deal with it. So then when she started talking, it was just the way that the Holy Spirit worked through her, it just healed me in ways that I never would have thought about. And sitting and talking with her, we actually have known her. She went to church with Zach's niece, who was killed in a car accident. We had met her before. She knows Zach's brother. So it was just this whole full circle, amazing moment. Um, I and I I love her, she's amazing. Um changed my life in ways that I'll probably never know. Um this podcast has done so much for my life. You know, when I listened to it over a year ago, I knew in that moment that you guys needed to meet Zach. And that's when I messaged you. And I remember sending the message, and I said, God, this will happen in your time. And I just walked away from it, and I honestly forgot about it. And then Jerry popped up, and I'm like, Oh, here we go. Because everywhere Jerry goes, there goes Zach. So I just, and then I I was went to a college visit with my daughter, and we listened to Jerry's on the way home, and we both cried the whole way home. And it was just, it was amazing. And I knew, I knew because they just they're one and the same. And there's so many amazing people. Um, I you know, I listening to Mandy's, I I work with people that struggle with so much stuff, there's so much body dysphoria that it's just so heartbreaking. And you know, it's something that so many kids deal with. And for them to hear that and to hear that that's normal. And when we bring light to that darkness, that's what makes a difference. And that's what this is doing. It's saying it's okay to not be okay. And Jeff Travis taught me that years ago. And I sat and cried through his because he is such an impactful part of our lives. Um you know, there's so many people that I've just sat and listened, and it it's every story touches me in a different way, even if what they've been through has nothing to do with what I've been through. God uses them in my life. And it's it's just fascinating to get to hear different stories of how God is working in our lives. And it's it's truly an honor to be able to hear all these stories and to get to meet all these people through this platform.

SPEAKER_16 56:23

Thank you for sharing that. One other thing. Where I'm sitting here.

SPEAKER_08 56:26

He always has to one-up me.

SPEAKER_16 56:37

Um a lady reached out to me at church with a food addiction. And that was one of I mean, she's in tears. She's come up to me every week, and I didn't think I would impact somebody that had that going on in their life. And she, I I mean, I I didn't even know what to say. I was so blown away that I had made an impact on her with through you know, uh an eating disorder. And um, you know, she she absolutely blew me away. And um you never know who you're gonna reach. So I'm open to whatever, and I'm just glad that that uh you know I was able to help her, you know. Uh so yeah.

SPEAKER_15 57:32

That's great. And that's the message you got from was that the message from a lady too. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 57:38

That's exactly um, you talked about Tracy and it's Rob, I believe, right? Yeah, and you know, you guys talked, and I don't think that people just sit and go to dinner and be like, hey, you know, this happened or that happened, but I think we bury it because that's what you feel you're supposed to do. Because you gotta look the part, you gotta walk a certain way, do all the things that society expects us to do, so you just bury it. I didn't even know that my sisters didn't know about my situation. And some of them found out, or most of them I think found out, like while they were watching. And so my mom and I were talking, and I thought, yeah, yes, they did. They knew they knew how much I waited, or they whatever. And that wasn't the case. But I think because I had buried it so deep that it, you know, it just got something that, you know, each of us have gone through different things, but it still hurt and pain. And then when it comes out, it the healing that you know we've all experienced, but then the healing that it's brought other people that I had no idea. I I felt horrible. I was like, I didn't try to hide that. I just had buried it so much within my own life, so it just felt good to get it out, but you don't want to be an embarrassment to your family, you know. You so I think that we are just um almost programmed to just pretend, but it's okay to not, and it's okay to not be okay.

unknown 59:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 59:14

So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 59:15

Did you can I don't know?

SPEAKER_01 59:21

And so when I agreed to to come on the podcast, all I really envisioned because I was so excited that it was a podcast, was the audio part. Because when I mow, I listen to a lot of audio podcasts. And when I realized it was going to be on video, I thought, well, I'm gonna catch the first part of my wife's uh live. And so I got on Patreon, I started watching it, and um, I've probably heard her testimony enough times that I could tell it, you know. So my intention was to spend about 10 or 15 minutes just to see what the set looked like and see how comfortable it felt. And two hours went by, and I was still watching it, and um it was just really intriguing, and it wasn't just because what she was saying, it was just it was the atmosphere, the spirit of God was moving on the podcast. And one of the things that I think that people have asked a lot, and I'm gonna put her on the spot, was about her restoration with her her children and her family, what's happened in the last eight years. Because I don't think you really got a chance to share that because you were getting so much healing by going into your past.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:29

Um my goodness, the restoration that God has brought to my life. Um, I mean, my entire life was decimated. Really, every relationship, uh, my career, uh, my self-worth, I mean, everything was in shambles. And um, in the last eight years, um, as soon as I graduated from Crossroad and moved out, I immediately got my kids back. Um, they came to live with me. Um, it was a mess. They were angry teenagers with every right to be angry, and I couldn't really say anything about them being angry because it was valid. Um, and but the way that God, you know, I just prayed. I didn't know what else to do but pray. And I am so close with my children. Um, I see, I see um, you know, my daughter I see almost every day. Um, my father and me have a wonderful relationship after about 20 years of not really even talking to each other. Um, it's uh completely normal, probably better than it was when I was a kid. Um, and just every just every part of my life God has restored and redeemed and and put it all back together better than it was in the beginning, you know?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:47

Man, that's awesome.

From Fitness Podcast To Faith Mission

SPEAKER_15 1:01:50

I got a question for Ben. When you started this, I know you guys didn't know where it was going, but when you hear, when you hear people call this a ministry, what do you think, Ben?

SPEAKER_13 1:02:00

I mean, I agree 100%. I mean, every single person that talked in here, I think, talked about like being in there, you feel the Holy Spirit move. Um, I think that's why it's gained so much traction. Because at the beginning it wasn't, I don't think, supposed to be like that at all, really. I mean, to be honest with you, Dan and I both lost a lot of weight and we contributed it to a podcast. And at the time it was uh, you know, 75 Hard, Andy for Sella, which I think's not really a ministry. But uh if you ever listen to him, um I would encourage you to do 75. Yes, we encourage you to do 75 hard, just uh take Andy with a grain of salt. Yeah, put it on uh edit edited versions. But no, um, so that's where it was supposed to head, and then you know, the only way that God can do it, he's like, nope, like you guys don't know where it's going, you know. People always say if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. And I feel like that's the reason why this podcast has grown, though, is because like even in stuff that we're talking about doing now, it's just like if God wants it to be done, then just trust him. If that's the way that we feel like the Holy Spirit's going, that's where we need to go. Um, and I feel like through every single story, it gets more and more Holy Spirit moving, Holy Spirit moving, Holy Spirit moving. And I feel like that's gotten to a point where it's just almost so um gratifying to be used by God that it's, I mean, I I want to be, I want to do it all the time. You know what I mean? Like it's just, it's it's amazing. I mean, and that's why I feel like the podcast will keep growing and be tempered will keep growing, is just because it's it's not just a podcast, it's a community now of people coming together and living life. Like I feel like God wants us to live it by being vulnerable, by sharing, by supporting one another the way that it's supposed to be, how life's supposed to be. And uh so yeah, I think it's kind of a ministry.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:47

That's good. I want to put my wife on the spot a little bit because uh, you know, she gets to see me come home and um after we we do these meetings or these these podcast recordings, and and her and I have had some pretty deep conversations, and I think she's uh seen a change in me and seen a change in our family maybe a little bit. So, Kim, can you kind of talk about the journey um, you know, in our relationship and maybe the ups and the downs, the the the goods and the bads with what you've seen.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:23

Yeah. Um, to start with, I would love to thank Ben because Dan has always been faithful in his life, but he's never been able to wear it on the outside. And I think you have been a huge stepping stone for him, and I greatly appreciate that.

SPEAKER_13 1:04:44

Sorry, Mecca. Iron sharpens iron, so and you're gonna make me emotional, so move on.

SPEAKER_15 1:04:52

Um men cry mercy.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:54

Oh I also am very grateful for Be Tempered because it has opened my eyes for a lot of things, especially seeing people in a different way. Like there are so many people that I hear their stories, and I will be the first one to judge. And then I hear that story and it just totally opens my eyes and makes me see people in such a different way. And I think my compassion towards people has totally grown. I will also say that it be tempered has been very, very challenging for us as a family, too, because we already have so much going on in our lives that adding another thing has been very, very challenging. But I know how fruitful it is and how important it is, but it has not been easy by any means. And I'm horrible with shoving my emotions down and then them bubbling over, and they have bubbled over, and so. We are working through it, but it is challenging. I am so grateful for it. I think it has opened us doors for so many so much healing for everybody, including us as a family, too.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:15

So well, and it had I didn't mean to put you on the spot, but it it's been a um, it's been a journey, you know, of just trying to navigate all the things, right? You know, we have five amazing children, um, you know, a thriving business, we farm, uh, and now the podcast. I mean, there's there's just a lot of things. And I am a very competitive person. And um, you know, I don't growing up on the farm and working hard, and and when you see the fruits of that work and and you have success, whatever that looks like for you, and and you play sports and you have success and you're just constantly competing, um that's that's me. And so I don't know how to shut it off. And so that's part of the growth process that you know that Kim's talking about for us as a family, because the impact that you all have had and everybody's had on me has been tremendous, but I don't know how to process that, right? I don't know how to carry Joni's weight, right? Or Zach's weight, like it really deeply affects me. So um, you know, it's it's something that we talk about.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:36

It's super challenging as a wife, too, for you to come home and feel that way and how to navigate through that. So it's challenging, but with the good Lord, we'll make it through.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:49

Yeah, we will. And it's it's just it's just part of the process. So it's just trying to take a step back and looking at things and um, you know, just reflecting on me as a man, um, you know, and more importantly, you know, uh Kim and I's relationship, our family, and how important and important that is. But um, you know, not not everything's all sunshine and rainbows, right? I mean, that's life. Um, you know, I didn't know we would actually talk about about that, but I I think it's important because that is what be tempered is. If uh if we're gonna be honest, we're gonna be honest. So um, so yeah. I don't know. You guys have any questions for Ben or I? Anything, any comments you want to absolutely are you are you surprised about one more?

SPEAKER_12 1:08:39

No, I just when you said about don't quit Ray and and and the Lord, I think one of the things with all the all the that you all have shared in your testimonies is that all of this is the Lord. And and you asked that that that was the main one of the main things. My faith has grown because of you and all of you. And I'm like, you know, praise the Lord, right?

SPEAKER_05 1:09:05

Amen.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:10

So I knew coming on the podcast as well that my the reach of our story was gonna be a little further than what that what we have in the it's outside of our bounds, right? And so I I knew that at least one person was gonna be touched, but I didn't calculate that being a person that I knew. And so uh a friend of mine, a contractor friend of mine, um, I shared that we were gonna be on the podcast. I told him what it was gonna be, he had been out doing some work for us. And um a little backstory on him, he lost his father a couple years ago. I was friends with him then, and about a year ago, he fell through a ceiling on the job site and got hurt. And uh what I didn't know was for the past two years he hasn't stepped into church. And so he messaged me two days ago and said, Thank you for introducing me to Be Tempered. I listened to Johnny's podcast, I'm gonna finish yours up tomorrow, and I'm gonna go to church on Sunday. And so that really touched my heart because I didn't imagine that first person reaching out was gonna be someone that I knew. And so I don't know where I heard this, but the word testimony means do it again. And so all of our testimonies are a little bit different, but the thing that they have in common is it's putting it out there, Lord, do it again. What you've done for me, do it again for someone else. And I think it's giving people hope out in the community that think they're alone in all this.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:36

Well, and I think that's that's the key, you know, that we've we've kind of harped on, Ben and I, from when we when we started in the beginning, and and once it started to gain a little bit of traction, is that you know, some I don't know, somebody many people have asked me, like, how do you get your guests or where do they where do they come from? Or are you worried that you're not gonna find the next person interview? I mean, there's 40,000 people here in Wayne County, right? There's another 30,000 over in Preble County. I mean, that's 70,000 people. I'm not gonna live that many episodes long, you know? I mean, everybody's got a story. So um, you know, if this just stays in our local community, that's great. You know, the competitor in me wants more than that, but that's what I'm trying to tame. But quite honestly, if we can, if we can make our community stronger right here, and we make our churches stronger, we make our school stronger, and your family stronger, that's what it's all about, right? And so that's you know, anybody that says that, I just say, you know, I we we've interviewed some bigger name people, and they've been they've been not good, like as far as the views and things go. It's the local people that matter, right? That's our community, and that's what it's all about. So raised?

SPEAKER_08 1:11:55

Um, with what Donald said, um after Zach's podcast aired, um, there were some people that we know, some family, some friends that had reached out that I again, he doesn't have social media, so I had to send them all to him. Um that we had numerous that they said they they don't go to church, they don't know about God, they don't that they were touched by his story, that they didn't realize he had lived through some of the things, they didn't know that the journey he had been on. And even if they it didn't convince them to go to church then it planted a seed. And it was really amazing to see the people that were sending the messages because those are the people that really, really needed it. And it's the people that I I know that Zach longs for to know Jesus. Yeah, so it it's really amazing the people that everybody's reaching.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:00

That's awesome. That's awesome. Anyone got any questions? Sean, you got anything else you want to add?

SPEAKER_15 1:13:12

I mean, I said it on my cat podcast. Um I think it's just crazy how God has a plan. Like tell your story, right? I say it all the time, tell your story. I didn't I didn't know what that looked like. And then, you know, we didn't know each other. Like we grew up together, but I mean, I want you guys to understand, like, we didn't talk for 10 years, probably. Like, and then all of a sudden, just a little thing as in him sponsoring a camp set off all this chain effect of him starting the podcast, me telling my story, him challenging me, this, this, and this, him hiring me, right? Then Jerry Wilson coming in and turning on our internet at a building and awkwardly stayed around to talk to me for three hours. For three hours, which led to Jerry doing a podcast, which led to you, which led to these two. If you don't think there, I mean, if you want to find God, you can find him everywhere. Everywhere, every day. Yeah.

Why Students Need These Conversations

SPEAKER_02 1:14:27

So I look at this um this podcast in a different lens. Uh since I'm a principal, I want to see I want I want to present things to these students that uh will help them. And so I have a captive audience a lot of times. I have about 25 to 30 kids that I see daily. And it's they're always in trouble and they're always doing things they shouldn't be doing in school. And so this podcast has helped me uh kind of get to them in a way that uh I wasn't able to before that. And so, you know, it's uh just like James um when he came to my office and he talked about not having a mom and dad and uh and not you know living with a grandma and grandpa, and my immediate response was you need to meet Sean. And you know, I gave him Sean's Sean's book, and he read Sean's book, and then he got to stuff to meet Sean. And now he follows him on Instagram, and it's just you guys have no idea what these kids are uh are going through. And your stories uh have touched so many of these kids' lives, and they're gonna continue to touch those lives. And so I want to say from the bottom of my heart, thank you for coming on here. Um thank you for opening up and just know that your story is gonna live forever because uh there's gonna be kids out there that are just like you. And so the amazing part that that you guys have done, I don't think you I don't think you tried to do this, but it's opened so many doors for kids to communicate differently than what they would have. And so thank you for that, and and thank you for all. And just know that uh your names are popping up in Greenville quite a bit because I know a lot of kids, a lot of kids are going through stuff, and you guys are helping them go through it. So thank you.

Building The Be Tempered Standard

SPEAKER_04 1:16:31

Well, thanks for sharing that, and and that kind of leads us in really to what we're doing right now, what we've started to do in the past month, couple months. Um you know, originally we talked about getting into the schools and kind of was like, man, that's kind of tough to do. I think we had some conversations, Kelly, and Maddie was a part of some of those conversations. And so I kind of backed off of that. But here we've we've created what we call the B tempered standard. And so we've broken B tempered down, it's 10 letters, we've broken it down into an acronym. So every letter has a negative, uh untempered and a B tempered um word. So, like for the letter B, the negative is broken, the positive is belief. What we've done with that is we, and Sean's been working on it, um, coming up with lesson plans for teachers. And uh I was just able to present to um uh the county schools over in Ohio to all the principals last week. And so what we're looking to do is to uh do a pilot program with one of those schools so that we can work through the curriculum, work through what this looks like on a 10-week course for students, and then at the end of the school year, have it culminate with a student-led assembly where the students put on an assembly uh to learn or to teach or go over the principles that they learn from the B Tempered Standard. So that's in the works. Um, you know, I was very honest with the principals last week and I told them we don't really know what we're doing. But, you know, and if that scares you, then don't partner with us. But if that excites you and you want to be a part of something and you want to work collaboratively to help us kind of navigate this, I think this could be pretty big, uh, whether it's just in our local area or if it if it's something bigger, because if we can get the kids from elementary school to high school to that, you know, when they're 18 years old and they go out into the rural world to have these difficult conversations and to be vulnerable and to look at kids in the classroom differently than they do just based on what their titles are or what you know um what labels that that they get put on themselves. Maybe we can help a Sean Rubush not wait until he's 38 years old to share his testimony or Zach to go through addiction, you know. Um, you just never know. So that's kind of part of the bigger picture. It's another big reason why Sean's uh with us is to help to push that through. I don't know where it'll go. Maybe it stays in one school, maybe it goes to more, I don't know. But that's kind of a bigger picture. Uh, I guess really kind of putting it out there for others to hear about. Um, once we get through that pilot program in the 26-27 school year, then you know, obviously we're gonna learn a lot of things. Um, and you know, then maybe we'll open it up to other schools and and see where it goes. So um, you know, it's it's more than a podcast. Uh saying it's a ministry is it makes me feel a little weird, but maybe it is. I I look at it more of a mission just to help our community and to help uh individuals, help families, help husbands and wives.

SPEAKER_13 1:19:59

Um so I'll tell you, last well, I guess it was a couple weeks ago, we helped put one on at National Trail where it was a student-led, like trail ran it, but we helped facilitate it. Um, one of the most powerful things, I think, for me being um, you know, helping around eating pee-wee and being around all the youth was you brought kids from, I mean, how many different schools were there? Seven. Well, seven, but Butler Tech. So you figure you got fair field, you got you got different suburban areas, rural areas coming together. Um, and at the end, one of the most powerful things I think was um Dan asked the question. What was the exact question you asked?

SPEAKER_04 1:20:40

I just asked them, you know, is there something that you learned today or something uh that struck you that you want to share? And this was in a gymnasium, you know, there's almost 200 people, kids, um, in the bleachers of the gym. And me out there with the mic, and I asked that question, and they started coming one by one and sharing their testimony.

SPEAKER_13 1:21:03

And just about majority of them talked about worrying about their like appearing, like their self, like self-esteem, self-esteem. And there was one girl that came down and she said it, set it off to where it was a chain link, and she talked about grace, and she was talking about having like you know, Dan messes up on something and I show him grace, right? But we don't show each other or ourselves that same grace that I would show Dan. And when that 16, 17-year-old girl said that, the whole auditorium listened, right? Because when Dan says that, or I say that as a middle-aged man, okay, what's this guy even talking about, right? But when one of the peers realized that and they clicked, then all of a sudden they listen, like they listen to themselves, right? So if you could plant that seed into one, kind of like we do here at the podcast, somebody shares it, and then all of a sudden, I didn't realize I was gonna affect that one. And you see it in a gymnasium full of students, and it's like boom, boom, boom, all these kids come down and share. And these are kids that didn't even want to sit next to a different school at the beginning of the day, right? Like, how cool is that? Now imagine you have a couple years of that build up. What's that gonna look like in our community where they have that kind of dialogue in the school, that confidence going out into the real world? I think it it's a chance for us to make some real world impact.

Closing Thanks And Go Be Tempered

SPEAKER_04 1:22:20

Yeah, it was powerful, very powerful. It was pretty cool. Yeah. Well, that's it. Anyone else have anything in closing you want to say or comments? Anything? Go ahead, Mandy.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:32

I'm sorry. No, don't then you said something earlier that you're not a public speaker or whatever.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:38

But you're you're all such a good team, the four of you, because you said, Dean, because I was nervous, I said I I can speak in front of thousands of people or whatever, but you put a camera in front of me, I'm gone. But you said it's gonna be like we're on your back porch, and it was. But you you say that you're not a public speaker, but I don't know if you all have noticed. You always sit and you pick out that most important piece and you recap it at the end, and that is super, super important and super, super powerful, I think. That's just my opinion.

SPEAKER_13 1:23:11

I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:11

Um, but you can tell you like you sit back and you listen, but you always bring that really important piece. I you've done it on every single one that I've listened to. So, but you're all a great team. So thank you.

SPEAKER_13 1:23:22

Thanks, Mandy.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:24

Well, and that's uh, I guess one thing I do want to hit on because you know, when we first started, when Ben and I started talking about this and he kind of planted the seed about doing a podcast, and I'm like, no way. I can't stand to hear myself talk, I can't stand social media, I hate all that stuff, I want no part of it. Um, you know, he planted the seed, right? And then as it started to grow a little bit, I, you know, I had never been around a man like Ben who was so bold in his faith. Like never. I've been around guys who are full of faith, and you know, they're Christians, and um, you know, they're good men, but no one like him. Like he would talk about the Bible and about Jesus, and I'm like, what are you talking about? You know, and and it would, but it was he he speaks in such a way where you're right. You may not say a whole lot, but you listen. Um, and so I know a lot of times you talk about imposter syndrome, which we all face, um, you know, that self-doubt or whatever. But I mean, Ben is the reason that we're here because I would have never ever done this on my own. So you have to you have to know that. So I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_13 1:24:39

Appreciate that.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:40

So all right, anything else? Episode 100? Gone once, Kelly. You didn't say anything.

unknown 1:24:50

I know.

SPEAKER_10 1:24:53

Maybe she's gonna take it. Maybe she's gonna talk. Dan Schmidt. Um, I guess thank you for letting me be here. Thanks for letting me be a part of the hundredth episode. Um, just want to tell everybody in this room thank you for your stories. I'm just a fan. I'm just I told Dan a long time ago I was the number one fan. And now I guess I have to compete with Murph. But but no, truly, I I just have been from the beginning. Um, I've listened to probably almost all of them. I've ran on the treadmill, I've walked in the arboretum. I mean, I've been driving a lot, listen. Um, I've been brought to tears so many times, um, and have definitely heard God speak through all of you. Um, so I just I'm just happy to be part of the journey as a listener and just really proud of you guys and um in the mission of Be Tempered. So thank you.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:51

Thank you, Kelly. All right. One last chance, everybody, good. Thank you all again for being here. Um, I mean, it it means a lot that you would take time out of your evening to you know to spend it with us and just to have conversation. And and I know this wasn't perfect. We'll see how the audio and all that turns out. It doesn't it doesn't matter. I mean, I I am uh my cup is full, it's overflowing uh with gratitude for for you all. And and I think we're both agree we're we're better men for knowing each and every one of you. So anything else you want to close with?

SPEAKER_13 1:26:27

No, I just can't thank you guys enough. It's very overwhelming in in my eyes. So I know like Kim talked about like the the pressure that's on the family and how much stress that is. Uh and you know it's it's hard when you have like all the kids, and I know all you guys have family and other things that you could have done tonight. So the fact that you guys decided to take time out to spend with us, I really, really appreciate it because we didn't think we'd ever be at episode 100. No, or 10.

Sponsor And Patreon Outro

SPEAKER_04 1:26:54

No, no, yeah. All right, everybody. Thanks for uh for listening. Thanks for the support. And uh go out and be tempered.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:04

Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt. This is my dad Dan. He owns Catrin's Glass.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:08

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SPEAKER_06 1:27:30

Patrons Glass, a clear choice.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:33

I want to share something that's become a big part of the Beatempered mission: Patreon. Now, if you've never used it before, Patreon is a platform where we can build community together. It's not just about supporting the podcast, it's about having a space where we can connect on a deeper level, encourage one another, and walk this journey of faith, resilience, and perseverance side by side. Here's how it works you can join as a free member and get out. Access to daily posts, behind the scenes updates, encouragement, and some things I don't always put out on other platforms. And if you feel called to support the mission financially, there are different levels where you can do that too. That support helps us keep producing the podcasts, creating gear, hosting events, and sharing stories that we believe can truly impact lives. And here's the cool part. Patreon has a free app you can download right on your phone. It works just like Facebook or Instagram, but it's built specifically for our community. You'll be able to scroll through posts, watch videos, listen to content, and interact with others who are on the same journey. At the end of the day, this isn't just about content, it's about connection. It's about building something together. Not just me and Ben putting out episodes, but a family of people committed to growing stronger through real stories and real faith. So whether you just want to hop on as a free member or you feel called to support in a bigger way, Patreon is the door into that community. Because at the heart of Be Tempered has always been simple real stories, raw truth, resilient faith, so that even one person out there that hears what they need to hear, and Patreon helps make that possible.