BeTempered
We believe that everyone has the potential to achieve greatness, and that the key to unlocking this potential is through personal development. Our podcasts are designed to help you cultivate the skills and mindset you need to achieve your goals and live the life you want.
BeTempered
BeTempered Episode 104 - 2 Years of Conversations That Changed Us
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Two years later, we decided to turn the cameras around and let Brian Ballenger ask the questions. This episode pulls back the curtain on the real story behind the BeTempered podcast, how a mindset shift, a weight loss journey, and the idea of tempered glass became the foundation for something much bigger. Strength is not built in comfort. It is built through pressure, heat, failure, and choosing to keep going anyway. What started as a simple experiment turned into a movement centered around faith, resilience, discipline, and conversations most people are afraid to have out loud.
Dan Schmidt, Ben Spahr and Shawn Ruebush open up about the moments they still wrestle with doubt, the pressure of staying authentic, and the messages from listeners that remind them these stories truly matter. They reflect on how hearing the testimonies of guests over the past two years has changed the way they see addiction, trauma, recovery, and the people around them. This conversation dives deep into vulnerability, grace, imposter syndrome, forgiveness, and why being fully present in everyday life can completely reshape relationships, faith, and purpose.
The episode also gets practical. The guys talk about parenting in a digital world, social media boundaries, smartphone restrictions, and why uncomfortable conversations inside the home matter more now than ever before. They connect discipline to consistency through daily routines, early mornings, and intentional habits that build stronger families and stronger communities. They also share what is ahead for the BeTempered Foundation, the BeTempered Standard for schools, and local outreach efforts like Care Cycle and hygiene support initiatives.
If BeTempered has ever encouraged you, challenged you, or helped you feel less alone, share this episode with someone who needs it. Subscribe, leave a review, and help us continue spreading stories that remind people they are capable of more than they think.
Learn more at https://betempered.com
Support the mission at https://patreon.com/betempered
Sponsor Message And Patreon Community
SPEAKER_00Hi, my name is Ali Schmidt. This is my goddamn team's Catrin's Glass.
SPEAKER_03Thanks, Allie. Things like doors and windows go into making a house, but when it's your home, you expect more, like the great service and selection you'll get from Catrance Glass. Final replacement windows from Catrins come with a lifetime warranty, including accidental glass breakage replacement. Also ask for custom shower doors and many other products and services. On 962-1636, locally owned with local employees for nearly 30 years.
SPEAKER_00Patron's Glass, a clear choice.
SPEAKER_02I want to share something that's become a big part of the Be Tempered mission. Patreon. Now, if you've never used it before, Patreon is a platform where we can build community together. It's not just about supporting the podcast, it's about having a space where we can connect on a deeper level, encourage one another, and walk this journey of faith, resilience, and perseverance side by side. Here's how it works. You can join as a free member and get access to daily posts, behind-the-scenes updates, encouragement, and some things I don't always put out on other platforms. And if you feel called to support the mission financially, there are different levels where you can do that too. That support helps us keep producing the podcasts, creating gear, hosting events, and sharing stories that we believe can truly impact lives. And here's the cool part Patreon has a free app you can download right on your phone. It works just like Facebook or Instagram, but it's built specifically for our community. You'll be able to scroll through posts, watch videos, listen to content, and interact with others who are on the same journey. At the end of the day, this isn't just about content, it's about connection. It's about building something together. Not just me and Ben putting out episodes, but a family of people committed to growing stronger through real stories and real faith. So whether you just want to hop on as a free member or you feel called to support in a bigger way, Patreon is the door into that community. Because at the heart of Be Tempered has always been simple real stories, raw truth, resilient faith, so that even one person out there that hears what they need to hear, and Patreon helps make that possible.
Show Intro And New Host
SPEAKER_04Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast, where we explore the art of finding balance in a chaotic world.
SPEAKER_08Join us as we delve into insightful conversations, practical tips, and inspiring stories to help you navigate life's ups and downs with grace and resilience.
SPEAKER_04We're your host, Dan Schmidt, and Ben Sparr. Let's embark on a journey to live our best lives.
SPEAKER_01This is Be Tempered. What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Be Tempered Podcast. We're going to shake some things up today. That's a little different. I'm going to be your host, Brian Ballinger. I'm here with Dan Schmidt, Ben Spar, and the He's shaking his head. The Sean Rubush.
SPEAKER_05What episode are we on? You already skipped it.
SPEAKER_01Episode number 104.
SPEAKER_04104. That's right. Two-year mark.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So today they've asked me to um not be in the hot seat, so I get to ask you all of the questions. I hope you're prepared and ready for this. Told Ben Ben that he's going to get all the hard ones. That's not good. Dan gets Dan, you get all the softball. So we're just going to start with an easy
How The Podcast Began
SPEAKER_01one. What what precipitated the podcast? In other words, how did you have the idea? Hey, I think it'd be pretty cool to have a podcast. What sparked this? Why why now two years in?
SPEAKER_04Um precipitated is I think of rain, Ryan. That's a pretty intelligent question. Can you reword that for me?
SPEAKER_01All right. I'll dumb it down for you. Maybe let's go to Ben. I went to Newton.
SPEAKER_08I went to 11 and I understand that question. I didn't go to National Trail, so I understood that question. Why Be Tempered Podcast? How did it come about? Well, so Dan, when we had our first interview, we brought it up and we started talking about how a podcast had changed our lives. And um, for me, it was motivation for losing weight and stuff like that. And it helped me grow in different areas of my life. And then Dan had the same kind of feeling. And so through that, we talked about how it'd be pretty cool to have a your own podcast, you know. And I could see Dan having a podcast. And um, from that, Dan decided to do one, and we worked on a name Be Tempered. Well, then next thing I know, Dan as an entrepreneur created a website, popped that website open as he sends me a link, and there's both of us on there. Oh, yeah. So uh for me, I wasn't mentally prepared for me to be on it. I was ready for it to be with Dan.
SPEAKER_01So you were really more encouraging him to start it, not thinking you were gonna be involved. Yeah, I believed in Dan. Yeah. So is this the true story or is there more to it?
SPEAKER_04Oh, that's a true story. And and I had the same experience, you know, my my journey, uh weight loss jersey journey started in 2022. And everybody I think who listens has heard the story, you know, being almost 300 pounds. And I started by listening to Andy Frisella and uh and his podcast and doing 75 hard. And, you know, from from the progression and my my mindset change, my body changed, my outlook on life changed. That's when uh Ben joined our our team at Catron's Glass. And I I don't even I I remember the conversation in my office about doing a podcast, and uh, just remember thinking, oh man, who who's gonna listen to me? Like I and I hate all hated all the social media stuff. And you know, I'm more kind of introverted kind of guy. You when you do something like this, you're really exposing your life, you're exposing your thoughts, you're exposing your feeling, um, which which we've done the last two years. So I I was it took some time, but but through conversation and through discernment, um, you know, it was like, uh, you know what, we could give this a try. You know, it'll be it'll be something fun to say that we've done. And um I thought, well, I sure can't do it alone. And uh, what better guy to do it with than than Ben? And so that's that's kind of how it started. So I remember, and I've actually still got the my little yellow tablet, and and we went through and had a list of names. I should have brought it today because there's there was other names on there, but we wanted it to be, you know, uh in in the beginning, it was more of an advertising arm for for Catron's glass. And so um, you know, I think most people have heard the story tempered glass is four times stronger than regular annealed glass, and to get that strength that has to go through a fire. So we thought, hey, what better, what better tie into the glass shop than be tempered?
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And uh, you know, and then relating that to people's stories of going through the fire. And but really when we started it, we just had a list. I think I still got the list too. It was like 25 different topics we could talk about. I don't know that any of them really had any person or individual on that list to interview. It was more, you know, some books we've read and and discuss the books and, you know, topics on leadership and discipline and and all the things that uh, you know, that Ben and I had done the prior years to to kind of get to where we were mentally and physically and the challenges that we faced. And uh, you know, from there it it it it evolved to to where we're at today. So it's been a process, uh, not one that I ever would have anticipated from from day one.
SPEAKER_01So we'll get into the impact of the podcast later. I'm sure if you roll back two years, you you can't imagine at that time what the detempered movement would be that like we see today.
SPEAKER_04No, I I mean never in my wildest dreams would I have uh anticipated where we're at today, you know, and and quite honestly, I just continue to have more doubt about you know, what are we doing? You know, this this is a lot of time, it's a lot of work, uh, it costs money to do. And um, you know, through all the course of the two years, uh, you know, there's been many journeys and experiences that I've had in my my life, uh work-related, family-related, faith-related, that, you know, God just kind of said, No, you're you're gonna follow my plan. And um, you know, there's there's specific things that happen that showed me and provided encouragement, you know, for me and for Ben. And now, you know, and Sean is is a shining example of of that encouragement of, hey, you're on the right path. Right. Even though you may feel like you're not sometimes, because I still feel that way certain times of the day. Some days I'm like, what are we doing? Why are we doing this? And then other days you get a phone call or a message, or you just have a conversation and you're just like, that's why.
SPEAKER_01Right.
Doubt Meets Listener Encouragement
SPEAKER_01So let's talk about some of those moments that you mentioned. Was there something very pivotal that occurred in your life that's put you on your current path? And that that's really a question for both of you.
SPEAKER_04Well, I'll let Ben, you go ahead and answer. I've been talking too much.
SPEAKER_01Oh no, I I think you're talking just right.
SPEAKER_08No, um the encouragement, I think, from listeners, I think that's the biggest thing. Um because when we started out, you know, the way this whole thing's evolved, when we first started out, it was about, like Dan said, leadership, about things that we thought we saw from the outside of the world. That's man, we we can use more people and that could be better leaders, um, people that need to be motivated to lose weight, like we did, um, and just change the whole aspect of their life. And then all of a sudden you start listening to the listeners, and then you see how the whole the whole thing involves, like faith and everything else that's starting to evolve. I feel like that's really the most powerful thing to me because those are what I call like little god wings. Like you'll be down in the dumps one day and you're like, man, you know, why am I even doing this? And then the next thing you know, you get a message and you're changing someone's life, you know. And I'll never forget the one of the first messages we got was after someone passed away and took their own life. And the message that we got, it was, man, I tell you, if if my husband would have listened to this, I think it could have changed something. And those are the the moments and those winks that really remind us how big of a difference we're making.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I mean, for me, a pivotal time where I I know that uh my life changed was you know, leading up to the rite of passage. Um, that was that was where the biggest change for me happened.
SPEAKER_01Right. But what about before that? Because you've you've shared with us before the conversation you had. I think you were at a football game and you didn't really know anything about 75 Hard, and a friend of yours talked to you about that. Yeah, so Jeff Swanson, didn't that kind of put you on a new course?
SPEAKER_04That that was yeah, that was way prior to the podcast. So that was where life changed uh for me, uh physically and mentally.
SPEAKER_01But maybe not your faith journey at that point.
SPEAKER_04No, no, not my faith journey. No, definitely not that. I mean, I was still Christian, uh, you know, man of faith, still still doing all those things, but not really having that relationship that I gained after uh doing the rite of passage. But yeah, that where everything changed for me that led us to the start of the podcast was that uh that football game. It was uh Cincinnati Elder versus uh Bishop Chitard. Our our friend the Van Vliet, their son Drew, was a quarterback at Bishop Chittard. And that's where I met up with them and and uh my friend Jeff, and and he introduced me to 75 Hard, and that that was the moment um where I made the decision that okay, it's this isn't just about working out, you know, this isn't just about diet, this is about completely changing my mindset and where I'm at. And uh because I could do all the workouts, I could, I could lose 30 pounds, but then slowly something would happen, or you know, I would start drinking beer or whatever, and that would just send me back down that path of you know, eating too much and drinking too much. And and uh so I knew it had to, I knew my mind had to change.
SPEAKER_01So it was a mind shift.
SPEAKER_04100%, yeah. That that that has led us to where we're at sitting here today.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So what about the experiences that you've heard? We're now 104 in. I mean, some incredible stories. You know, Sean, I I look at you and I'm glad for the friendship that we've developed, but you know, a year ago, you were in a much different place, and I see the journey
Compassion Through Guests And Addiction Stories
SPEAKER_01you're on, and that's part of the impact of this podcast. So of all of the guests that you've had and the experiences they've shared, how's how's that impacted you? How's it changed your outlook or your perspective?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I mean, for me maybe a big picture. Yeah, I mean, just not being so judgmental. You know, when you see uh people out and about uh talking a certain way, acting a certain way, or you hear gossip in your community, in your small community, and and you you put this picture in your mind of this individual. Um when you when you sit down with them and you hear their story and their journey, it shows you a whole different perspective. So what it's done for me is help me to not judge, be so judgmental on people. And you know, as we've continued to go here, especially the the more recent, I don't know, last 15 to 20 episodes where we've interviewed people who were recovering addicts. Um man, I was I was one of those guys who, you know, if if I knew someone was addicted to to heroin or meth or whatever, I was one of those guys that was like, just stop. Like, how can you not just stop? Right. I I I didn't understand that because I've never been in that situation and I've never been through the trauma that a lot of those individuals had, and a lot of it stems back from childhood. You know, I had an amazing childhood. And um, you know, and and Sean's a perfect example of, you know, him and his brother, how they uh both suffered the same trauma at young ages and took two completely different paths. And when you know that story, when you when you know that trauma and someone else smokes dope, drinks too much, becomes an alcoholic, and then all of a sudden it just continues to spiral because it's a numbing agent for them to heal their pain because they don't know how to deal with it, man. It really opens your eyes and shows you that you know what, I can see how you went down that path. You know, I I can see that. And so that's been it's been a big perspective shift for me.
SPEAKER_01I would say, even for me as a listener, I, you know, when I hear these people get very vulnerable, uh, obviously their stories are authentic and real. I don't have that personal connection because I'm not in studio with them, I've not met them, I've not done the pre-interviews. So I don't have that personal connection. But even just hearing their stories has allowed me to view others in a much more compassionate way. And that that's been a blessing for me.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Just to open my eyes to think, well, there's there's a reason why, and there's a lot of circumstances behind that person and why they are where they're at today.
SPEAKER_04Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01So I I've appreciated that.
SPEAKER_08Yeah. I think though, on top of that, too, the the power of vulnerability, like you talked about. But what's the one thing that everybody always talks about when they come in the studio and they're sitting in this chair? Like when they first start, like I I don't have a story, like I I don't I don't have a story to share that would help someone. But what we've seen after every single episode is when someone's willing to be vulnerable, that someone is getting something from that. No matter if you know someone that's battling the same things, it's usually touching someone else completely different than the person I'm thinking of a lot of times. So I feel like had being courageous enough to be vulnerable, it's going to help someone, no matter if what your story is, someone's going through that same exact thing. And even if you think it's not as a big a thing as maybe like what Sean or some other traumatic event, it's still somebody's battling through it, somebody's trying to find a path through, and it helps give them you know that confidence they can get through and a road path. So I just feel like everybody always says, Well, you know, I don't have a story, I don't have a story, but everyone's got a story, everyone's battling through something. And I feel like that's the big thing is when we're vulnerable, you're gonna help somebody no matter what.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Dan, I've
Grace And Imposter Syndrome
SPEAKER_01watched your your faith um grow tremendously. We were walking, I don't know, maybe probably last August or so, and um you had just finished the rite of passage, and I was seeing a lot of changes in you. I don't know if you remember this, but I told you at that point, Dan, you're you're about to see some things that you never knew before. And God's gonna bless you and open your eyes. Do you do you remember that conversation? So I I want you to answer this question, but I'm gonna turn to Ben first. So being a part of this podcast, how has it helped you grow in your faith?
SPEAKER_08I think one of the biggest ways that I'm just man, it's it's tough. I think the biggest thing is just being confident in grace. I feel like the grace is the biggest way that it's helping me. And it's not really grace for other people, but it's the grace for yourself. And that's part of faith that um if you don't understand the grace that Jesus has for you, then I don't feel like you really understand grace and something that I really didn't understand. So I feel like every time I'm in here and I see people going through these struggles and they're showing grace for other people, but also going showing grace for themselves of the battles they're going through. Honestly, that's helped me a lot in my faith, something that you really don't think of a lot when it comes to faith.
SPEAKER_01So you've mentioned this several times on the podcast, and you and I have personally talked about this. It's the idea of imposter syndrome, and I know you've struggled with that. I think we all do to a degree. Yeah. So when you speak about grace, having that for yourself, has that helped you? Yeah, a little bit. I still struggle that every day.
SPEAKER_08Yeah. But I see you growing though. Yeah, I am. It's uh I feel like the hardest thing is just um, you know, one of the things I always say, which everybody, you know, Lisa hates whenever I say about, you know, Dan's a graduate from Dayton. And you're from Dixon. Right, right. And that's a that's a big imposter syndrome thing that I say because it's a deflection. Like, you know what I mean? Like I'm setting the stage for if I say something stupid, it's because I don't want to have a college degree, you know? And um, but yeah, I mean let me help you out there. I know a lot of people with college degrees that makes me shake my head. No, but yeah, I feel like you know, that's something I'm still struggling with, but that's where grace, I feel like, for myself is starting to help me battle through that. Yeah. Don't you feel like you have a lot to offer? Yes, um, I do. And um, I do feel like I have a lot to offer in certain ways. Um, I don't know if communication is one of those ways. Right.
SPEAKER_01But so maybe you're not a great or you don't feel like you're a great speaker, not able to express your thoughts the way maybe you would like, but you have a lot of other things to offer. And I think Dan sees that. I think our viewers, I I've seen it. I know your heart, your passion. That's what I love about you.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So I love you, Brian. Yeah. Well, and I've I've tried to encourage you, and maybe it's because I've dealt with the same thing in the past, too. And and I feel like maybe at times today, I still go into certain rooms or with certain people, and it's like, man, I don't even know if I belong in this group. Yeah. And I know that's what you're feeling. Oh, all the time.
SPEAKER_08Yeah. Usually from when I wake up to when I go to bed.
SPEAKER_01I just want you to remember you have a lot to offer. I appreciate that. Because God's blessed you. Yeah, I appreciate that, Brian. So, what about you, Dan?
SPEAKER_04Repeat that question. So I was too engulfed in Ben's answer. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So, as being a part of the podcast, how's this help you develop in your faith journey and that growth?
SPEAKER_06Wait, hold on. This is where you asked for a raise, sir. Right.
SPEAKER_04You know, I and I've said this before. I always would pray for to be present, you know, to be present with people in conversations because of all the different things going on in my life. You know, and my mind is one that races, you know, always going to this or that or doing this and that. And it was, it was just a it was a very challenging thing for me just to be present. And I think it's challenging for a lot of people, but you know, I really felt it and I felt like it was a problem because, you know, when you when you are speaking with someone, whether it's sitting here or whether you meet someone and you're and you're looking at them face to face and looking at them, you know, eye to eye, but you're not really listening, um, you know, that bothered me. And so, you know, I would pray for that. You know, God help me to um help me to be present in in whatever conversation that I have with whomever it is. And um He definitely has. And that has strengthened my faith because I I think when I when I we fully, you know, we there's there's been times throughout the past two years where we used to come in here with all of our technology and our iPads and our phones and everything. And you know, there would be distractions. And even though I was still here and still doing the interview and and And listening and having that conversation, there were still other things going on in my mind. And, you know, he slowly took those away from me. And I feel like as those were taken away, as we took our watch off, as we didn't bring our phone in and our iPad in, and we just brought a piece of paper in, I feel like we've gotten better at doing this. And um I again, I think those are just the little signs that God has shown us, like, hey, you prayed for this. You know, it takes time. You know, Sean talks about how, you know, God will take away certain things in your life that need to be taken away slowly, step by step by step. And I see that. Yeah, I see it a hundred percent. And um, you know, my my faith journey is it's exploded over the last since last June, you know. Um, and it's it's been uh and and I do remember that conversation in the arboretum. And um I mean it makes me emotional to think about it because I would have never ever in a million years guessed, you know, last August walking in the arboretum, that we would be sitting here, all four of us, um talking about the things that had always kind of Ben and I had talked about in our mind, like some things we want to do, but like I never truly thought that it would come to fruition if I'm being honest. You know, it was always that doubt was like, yeah, I mean, it sounds great. You know, all these things you want to do sounds great, but you can't do that.
SPEAKER_01But I think that's just evidence that God's at work.
SPEAKER_04Oh, 100% plus in this. Yeah, yeah.
What We Want Listeners To Gain
SPEAKER_01So what do you hope your listeners gain? What's the uh the benefit that you want them to have from doing this podcast?
SPEAKER_04I just want them, I just want them to look at their their neighbors and their friends and their people in their community as um, you know, they're human. You know, it's it's so easy to judge people. Um when you hear the different, when you hear their perspective or you hear their story, I just think it just completely, at least for me, completely opens your mind to understand things that they've been through or why they why they interact with people the way they do. It just gives you a different perspective. And and I hope, you know, we always hear people complain about, you know, nobody gets involved anymore in their community, whether it's with the school, whether it's with a nonprofit organization, you know, everybody's too busy to help. And and we hear that a lot, you know, Ben and I do a lot, Sean does a lot, you do a lot in our community and nonprofit organizations, and uh, you know, getting involved in in whatever it is, churches, schools, whatever. And I look at this whole thing, you take somebody, a perfect example is Mandy Turner, right? I've known Mandy for for quite a long time. She's an amazing woman, just a bubbly personality, and she comes in here and shares her her testimony, and you hear what she went through, you know, battling bulimia and anorexia, and then you watch that just be released from her as she shares her testimony. And then you see what comes from it and how she is impacted by people who said, you know, hey, my daughter battles that. And and Mandy said she didn't think that was even a thing anymore. So she's getting impacted by sharing her story. Other people got impacted by hearing her story, and now Mandy wants to be involved in what we're doing to continue to help other people. So I look at this whole thing and I think, man, how can we improve our communities? How can we take that person who's who wants to do something, but they don't know what it is? Allie Schaefer is another one, you know, with the care cycle and the laundry issue with in our in our schools and kids, you know, not having clean clothes. I mean, that what's evolved from that has been amazing. And if we can do that every single week and we can make a connection from somebody sharing a testimony to somebody sitting on the couch who wants to help, but they don't know how, and they hear that connection, what's that gonna do for our communities? It's gonna do nothing but help. And that's what I want. That's that's what I hope when people hear our podcast and hear whoever's story it is or whatever conversation is being had, I hope that they are inspired in some way to want to help. And and that can be as simple as just having a conversation.
SPEAKER_08Yeah. Anything to add to that, Ben? Yeah, no, I agree with everything Dan said. I feel like um, you know, I keep saying the word grace, but that's the biggest thing. I mean, you hear these stories what for 104 weeks now. I mean, not 104 days, but 104 weeks.
SPEAKER_05That would that would equal two years.
SPEAKER_08Thank you, sir. Just want to make sure you guys knew what I knew what episode it was. But anyway, you hear these stories for that long and you see the different stories. I mean, everything that everybody's battling. And these are people like Dan said that are right there in your neighborhood, in your communities. Like Cindy Lee was a perfect example. You know, she said that, and I could see the emotion on Sean's face when she said it. Like that's a neighbor for Sean, right? And the stuff that she battled. But what that I feel like what that does for our listeners, hopefully, is it puts it in perspective that every single person's going through this. So when you have that interaction that's not going well in public, maybe you can take a step back and be like, okay, this person's dealing with something. I don't know what it is, but they can respond in the right way. And then what Dan said about the community, you know, I I hope they see the stuff that we're doing in the community, no matter what it is, and just think, okay, you know what? I see a problem. I'm gonna do that. Maybe we can be that motivating factor that they can be the person that changes that issue. You know, and it's just at the end of the day, if everybody just takes one step to make the community better, it's gonna be a better place. And hopefully they gain that from our podcast and for the people that we have on, because most of the people that we have on, you know, they've been through battles and now they're trying to change what they went through. You know, you have the recovery center up there. Those people went through that. And, you know, crossroads has now blown up and saving lives and changing lives for the the people that are dealing with addiction and their families afterwards. And I just hope we can continue to share those stories and give people motivation to change the world.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01All right. The next question I have, I'm gonna mix it
Kids And Social Media Boundaries
SPEAKER_01up. My I told Sandy that I was gonna be hosting this uh episode, and I asked her, I said, what do you want to hear? What question do you have? And so this this comes from her. Um, what steps have you taken within your family to either monitor or limit social media with your children? So this is kind of way off subject here, but yeah, she wanted to hear your take. And it's interesting, you've got uh a daughter in college all the way down to Ryan that's in what fifth grade?
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And then Jude is what 13. So he's 13. I don't know if he's got a smartphone yet. Oh, yeah. All the way down to Evie. Yeah. So he does not. This is uh something we don't really talk about much, but I maybe it would be good for our listeners to hear your response.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I mean, for our family, we don't let the kids, or we haven't, Ryan's the last one left, have um a phone until they get into middle school. And and the reason for that is is because that's typically when they're getting into sports and and it helps, hey, come pick me up from practice or whatever. Um, so yeah, so there's no, you know, that that's when it doesn't start for us till seventh grade, which is hard because a lot of, you know, like Ryan, for example, being he's almost 11, you know, a lot of his friends have had phones and technology for many, many years. And that that's I mean, to each their own. Uh, we just feel like, you know, there's really not a need for it uh until then. And then um the thing we do at home is the kids aren't allowed to have their phones in the rooms. And at night there's a central location that all the phones get charged, you know, so they're not, you know, up till two in the morning on their phones. Um and then, you know, like with Ali, our oldest, you know, she's she's 20 years old. She's that it's her, you know, it's her, she's she's an adult, she can make her own decisions. And so, you know, a lot of the uh the things that we have now to track our kids, like Life 360 and all that stuff, you know, when she went off to college, we shut life 360 off. So we don't track her, you know, and and it's hard as a parent because especially if you're wanting her, if she's coming home for, you know, for uh a party or something and you want to know where she's at, so but you don't. And so um, you know, that's how we do it. And we try to uh try to limit their time and uh, you know, through what the app, you know, is uh the iPhone or whatever. So those are the little things we do. Um they're still probably on it too much, just like I am, um, you know, and try to make a conscious effort of doing other things as a family outside of being on your phone.
SPEAKER_01Have you put any rental controls on the social media apps?
SPEAKER_04Yeah. So there are um, I don't know what the what the app would be called. Uh Kim does that, honestly. So she's the she's she's the one that's tracking tracking those things and uh taking care of all that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01What about you, man? Yeah.
SPEAKER_08So I don't know if you've had to deal with this yet, but you're yeah, so we're in the Jude calls it. Um I have them in lockdown. Uh, but so Jude has an iPhone. Uh, so he would have got it at the same time. Really, they started going fishing. So we live at Lochinggren. When they go by the lake and by the dam and everywhere, like I want to know where they're at. So they always have their phone like in their tackle box. Well, Cy just got his phone today because it's his birthday. So um happy birthday, Cy. Yeah. This is actually a three-week happy birthday belated since this went over there. That's right.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_08But no, so Cy has no, he doesn't have social media. Um, but on the iPhones, you're able to put like communication blocking on there, not really blocking. It's just you add the contacts, and those are the only people that's he's a lot of communicating with. Like if he enters a number, tries to text or call, it won't go through. Same thing with the call coming into him, it'll get blocked. If he wants to communicate, then he can ask mom or dad to approve it. And so that's out size communication. So his phone's brand new. Yeah, well, not brand new, it's Jude's old one from four years ago. But anyway, and then Jude. So we have his on um, he's allowed one minute on each app. He has Instagram and uh Facebook. Facebook's for one minute. Yeah, well, I think I'll get to that. So that's the lowest that you can I like it. That's the lowest you can go on an app. And so what happens is like Snapchat, he does have that because that's the way that a lot of his friends communicate when they're going to play basketball or something like that, which my friends do the same thing when they're playing at a gym. But what will happen is he has one one minute on that. That's long enough for the app to load, and then time's done. So what he has to do is bring it to mom and dad, we enter our password for the they basically allow more time, and then we can view it together. So that's on um that's on Facebook, Instagram, and uh, and it's Snapchat. So basically social media he does have, but he has to do it with us. Instagram, he has, I think like actually like 30 or 40 minutes on there. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So what would your advice be to parents that have never had controls or oversight? And it's becoming a problem. Maybe you've got a son or a daughter that's um visiting sites that they shouldn't be. Um we we all know that um pornography is very addictive, and uh these kids have access to that almost unlimited. So what what advice would you have for a parent that has a child? They've had access to the cell phone technology, all of the social media apps, it's now a problem. What do you do?
SPEAKER_04Uh you got to step in. I mean, as the adult, you're the leader of your home, and you know, it's your responsibility to step in and and to um, you know, to have the conversation and say, hey, is there an issue here? Is it, you know, obviously if if especially if it's pornography, I mean, we all know that where that can lead and uh and it's not good. So, you know, you gotta you gotta be willing to to step outside your comfort zone if if you feel like you know it's an uncomfortable situation, it is, but boy, what can it boil over into, you know, a year from now when when that if it's if it's pornography, when that addiction is even stronger. Um so, you know, be the adult, be the parent, uh, be the bad guy, you know, and and step in and say, no, we we've got to uh you know put these stops in place to help you. And whether that's, you know, whether you're the kind of person that, you know, puts the hammer down and stops it immediately, or you you try to work through it and have those conversations uh to talk through that, you know, and and and try to get through it. But man, you gotta, it's hard being a parent, yeah. Uh especially this day and age with with all this technology, because at the end of the day, if they want to find it, they're probably gonna be able to find it. So you've got to be uh ready to have those conversations that are are difficult.
SPEAKER_08Yeah. And that's the scariest thing, though, is when you give your kid a smartphone, you know, you're not just giving them the social media or the communication. I mean, you're giving them the whole world. Yeah. Literally anything you want to look up. So first thing I would do if granted, I only have iPhones, so but you're able to put those content restrictions on your kid's phone to where, you know, set them up under 13. And eventually you just gotta be their parent before they're you're their friend, you know? But like uh Dan said, like if they're already looking at that stuff, then I I mean you gotta it's easier to convince a 15, 16-year-old when they're still living in your house, you can take their phones away and you can really hammer it down than when they're 17, 18 trying to deal with these issues and they're an adult and they they don't have to listen to you no more. So I'd make sure that you be the be the parent now so you can be a friend later.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So Ben, you're raising three
Parenting Mistakes And Marriage Priorities
SPEAKER_01boys. That's an interesting dynamic. Uh, what mistakes have you made that you hope to be able to share with your sons so that they can avoid some of the pitfalls that you've been through? Any examples?
SPEAKER_08Oh, how many? Um well, the first, the the biggest one that I try to establish is my my faith, which I don't think's a shocker if you listen to the show. Um the stuff that I dealt with with school and the mistakes I made in school, you know, whether it was um, I don't know, maybe it was how you treat girls back when you're in school, you know, when you think you're dating or or whatnot. And it might just be like the little thing that we would kind of chuckle about now, you know, like, you know, dating two girls at one time or something like that when they're in school. You know, I try to teach my boys about faith right now to where you you really understand, like if you have a girlfriend, which luckily my boys aren't really into girlfriends, but if they did, right? Like that's that's still one of God's daughters and stuff like that. Like you treat them with respect. And I mean, that's the biggest thing that for my boys that I want them to do is they'll always treat women with respect because that was one thing my dad taught me. Um, the other one was probably anger when I was young, younger, you know, dealing with my parents having a divorce. And, you know, there was a lot of um hostile con uh like conversations. I heard my parents yelling at each other a lot. It's one of the things that um, you know, I really want to teach my boys and mistakes that I've made, you know, early on in the marriage and stuff like that. That's just how you deal with it before you get deep into faith, I feel like. Um, and even when you get in faith, you still yell and have arguments, but how to really diffuse the situation and and come to grips with everything. So like those are two of the big things that I want to teach my boys.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think you you know this, and I think we all do. Leading by example, you and Lisa, that just the way you live your lives as husband and wife, your boys see that. Right. Um, I think it's important that we're real with our our children to let them know look, this is what I what I struggle with. These were the challenges I had. Here's maybe where I handled some things not right. And you can bring that in at a time that it's appropriate, appropriate to help them through it.
SPEAKER_08Absolutely. And a lot of times it's with different kids, right? Yeah, like Cy's battling different things right now at his age than Jude's dealing with. Yeah. And it Jude never had to deal with certain things that Cy deals with, same with Sai. Like he's never gonna have to deal with things that that Jude deal with. So I feel like even more on a personal level when it's that one-on-one, like, hey, look, this is what I struggle with, same thing you're struggling with. And it's not in the group setting, like as a family at the dinner table or something. It's just maybe we go fishing and we have a conversation about which is that real talk. I feel like that's very important.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I think open comp uh communication with our kids, there's it's irreplaceable to let them know that you know we're human too. I've I've made mistakes and I I love you, and I want to make sure that you don't go the same path to avoid some of those pitfalls. What about you, Dan?
SPEAKER_04I think the biggest thing that you know I want our my kids to see, and and I hopefully our community does too, is that the the two most important things. Number one in our family is faith, and number two is my wife, our relationship. Because that's the foundation to everything. I mean, if you don't have uh a relationship with Christ and and your relationship with your wife are not good, you're not setting that example for those kids to see. And, you know, it that's as simple as um just helping out around the house. You know, it's as simple as helping out with the laundry, it's as simple as doing the dishes, as making the bed. And I mean, just those little things, taking the trash out, all the little things that uh, you know, sometimes as a husband that I'm not done to the best of my abilities to recognize that and and do it, to set that example. And then also to show the kids that, you know what, I I know you guys are involved in all these different sports and doing all these different things, but your mom and I are going out to dinner tonight, you know, because um she's very important. And if we if we lose that foundation, uh everything else kind of spirals out of control. And and I think that's very evident in today's society where you see that. And uh, and that's uh, you know, luckily with with Kim, I mean, she's an amazing woman and and she puts up with a lot with me and and uh you know, all the things that uh ideas that I have and and and act on, um, you know, and she's she's not afraid to put me in my place. And she has, and and we, and you know, it uh episode 100 when she was there, I think it um, you know, she she kind of let out that it's it's not it hasn't been easy for us. I I caught that. Yeah, this is this has been a process, and um, you know, that's hard to recognize, and it's hard to hear that as a as a man and as a husband, because you know, a lot of times in life, the the people that we love and cherish the most sometimes we take advantage of, even if we don't do it intentionally. And so when when uh when you see that, it's uh like wow, okay, I gotta take a step back here and reevaluate things. Right. So um, but that's the example for my kids that I I want to set is you know, my my faith, you know, reading the Bible every day. I I I want them to see that, you know, and then then my love for my wife and and how she is um, you know, the most important family member in our life in my life.
SPEAKER_01Listening to you both talk about race, you know, you're still in the midst of raising children. I have three daughters, they're grown, um, all three married, but it's bringing back a lot of memories. You know, I didn't really have to discipline my girls too often, but um, what I would usually do is if especially if Sandy was, you know, about at her wit's end and had tried everything, she would get home and tell me what had been going on. And I could go to one of the girls, and this is I don't know where I came up with it, but it was highly effective. And if you ask my girls today, they'll tell you that it was absolutely terrifying when I do this. But I would just single them out, get them off into a separate room, and I would lower my voice. And I would just speak very softly to where they could barely hear me. I mean, they had obviously they're paying attention, and they had to really strain to hear my voice. And it got to a point where I don't know if it was my oldest, but you know, probably in the teenage years where respect for mom is not what you would want it to be. And again, I lowered my voice and I said, You will never speak to my wife that way again. And, you know, eyes wide open. And I think, you know, if we show respect to our wives, we should demand that of our children. Um, that was very effective. My girls, they still kind of I don't I wouldn't even say they laugh about it. I I think they have uh nightmares about dad lowering his voice because they knew they were in big trouble. And again, I it's not like I had to spank them or get real harsh with them, but uh that was really effective for them.
SPEAKER_08On top of that, though, what what else did your girls probably learn from that conversation? Like when you looked them in the eyes and you told them that, like you're not gonna talk to my wife like that. Like that's at an example of this one. I'm looking at my husband. Like I want my husband to stand up for me just the way that you know my dad stood up for my mom. Right.
SPEAKER_01I think it probably in their minds they had never really thought of well, mom is also dad's wife. It gave them a whole new perspective that that's my wife you're talking to, and that's not gonna happen.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So I love it.
SPEAKER_08Yeah. That's one thing we're all blessed with. Like, you know, Dan, like I could tell like the past. Like there's nothing that cuts like a knife, like when you feel like you disappointed your wife. Yeah. Like those moments where, like, when you know, when I was a kid and you disappointed mom and dad, like I feel like those are the moments where like I felt the worst. And then now it's like, you know, I see disappointment on Lisa's face and I did it, and I'm like, oh gosh, what did I just do? I'd rather take a beating right. Yeah, I'd rather get in a bar fight and get jumped and have to deal with this. Like don't give me those eyes.
SPEAKER_01Broken arm is gonna heal faster. Right. Right.
Regret And Moving Forward
SPEAKER_01All right. What about regrets? Any regrets in life or in the podcast? Uh no. And I have an angle, I'm gonna take this, but anything so let's just talk about regrets. You know, obviously they're I I would call a regret as uh dealing with the consequences of past actions or inactions.
SPEAKER_04Anything that I don't really I mean, I can't really think of anything that I regret. I mean, I'm sure there's been conversations I've had with people or acted on emotions. Nothing specifically where, you know, I regret my actions. I mean, there's things I did in college I probably regret, but um, you know, I was young and dumb then. And um I I just try I try not to live with any regret and and more so now, you know, having more of a relationship with with Christ and with my faith and and trying to strengthen my relationship with my wife and and uh you know, being a better father. I, you know, you learn things, you know, by trial and error, you know, being a parent, being a friend, being a husband um throughout your life. But I I don't know, I I can't think of anything off the top of my head that I would say, man, I regret it doing that.
SPEAKER_08What about you, man?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, I mean, so obviously I if you know, my mom, like my relationship with my mom, I wish I would have probably healed that quicker. Um, because, you know, there's stuff that I feel like that damaged um along with other things. But that's probably one I I'd say probably the most. Which, but then again, like I feel like that I'm able to use and teach my kids about forgiveness and holding grudges and stuff like that. Because that was one thing that throughout my my family that's honestly, it still goes on with the grudges and the spars. Like that was one thing that I remember my grandpa's funeral, my uncle Jeff telling me about holding grudges, and you know, you don't want to hold a grudge on your mom. And like I remembered like those specific conversations, and you still see grudges being held on to where they just will ignore people. So I mean, honestly, that's one of the biggest ones was probably forgiving my mom earlier.
SPEAKER_01I guess really the reason I bring that up is you know, a regret is something from the past. You know, you know, some people have regrets that it, I mean, they just can't hardly get past it. But you know, you can't change any of that. But what about moving forward? So I I think of it this way. What is it we're doing today, or maybe that we're not doing, that could be tomorrow's regret? To me, that's I think is probably the bigger question to confront rather than always looking back and thinking, well, I I really screwed that up. I I was this type of person. I didn't do the things that I should have been doing. And then you have all of those regrets that hold us down like a weight. But what about now? You uh again, I can't go back and change any of that. But what am I doing today that might become tomorrow's regret?
SPEAKER_04I think that's why, you know, as you're as you're saying that, that's what I was thinking is I'm I'm so focused on today, on tomorrow, on the future. Right. That I don't I don't I I can't even really think of of any specific regrets. And I I think I I don't know if I've always been like that, but I'm just too focused on what's ahead. You know, what's happened in the past has happened, and for whatever reason I made the decision to do whatever I did or say whatever I said, you know, and and if I've wronged someone, I've you know, hopefully have apologized, you know, for whatever that is. But I'm I'm so focused on tomorrow, the next day, the next week. I mean, with all the things that we we've got going on right now, I mean, uh, there's so many things to be excited about for the future. I don't know how I it's it's hard to look back, even just thinking about this episode 104, like thinking back, you know, to episode one, like it seems like forever ago, but then it doesn't. But I don't really think about it. I just I just look at okay, whatever, you know, you always hear people say, well, what if? Well, what if this? Well, what if what if that happens? Well, you know, what if? Guess what? We got faith. Right. Guess what I know? I'm gonna figure it out. Right. And I and I'm gonna learn from it. And um, so I think I'm just uh my mindset now is I'm just too focused on today and the future to keep moving forward. Um that I don't, I don't, I don't give the past a whole lot of thought.
SPEAKER_01Right. I I love that answer because I I think to encourage our listeners, if you and you made this statement, I I don't want to live my life with regrets. Well, you have to be intentional about that. And I think we need to be really mindful, what am I doing today in terms of my my thoughts, my actions, or my inactions, so that I don't have to look back tomorrow and think, well, now that's a regret. If you have this mindset of I'm always moving forward and I won't want to try my best by the grace of God to do what's right, this is going to be a blessing to others. I don't have to worry about that being a regret.
SPEAKER_05What's your answer to that, Sean? I mean, I don't regret anything because of all that my past didn't happen, I wouldn't be sitting right here for this for this podcast. So I'm I'm kind of like you. I don't have time to, you know, regret anything. Um, sure, if you look back, would you do stuff different? Maybe. But I may not be sitting here if I did. So I don't I I don't like living in the past and rear view mirrors is pretty small.
SPEAKER_01I think that's a I think that's a message that people need to hear. I think a lot of things have to happen for you to be able to say that. And I think probably one of the biggest is forgiving ourselves. I I feel like it's so much easier to forgive somebody else than it is self. And I don't think you would be able to make that statement if you hadn't been through a process of forgiving yourself to be able to then move forward.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I mean it you learn, we make we all make mistakes and we all learn from them. If you don't learn from that mistake, aka regret or whatever, you can't learn. So don't look as don't look as a mistake or something you did as a mistake, just a learning moment.
SPEAKER_04I think a lot of that too. I mean, you're a perfect example of taking ownership for the things that have happened, the challenges that you've faced, you know, just like when you talk about your divorce, you you took ownership of that. A lot of men don't. And I think that's important for all those out there who might be in the middle of a divorce or might be in the middle of a challenging situation instead of blaming the other person, and there's two people there, right? Take ownership. And you talk about that in your men's group with those, with those men who are who are in the middle of a fire. And, you know, once you take ownership of of that situation, I think you it changes your perspective on things and uh and opens your mind. And and I think that's when that shift starts to to change instead of thinking about the past and what happened and why did this happen to me? Why me, why me? You think, okay, it happened. This is my fault. You know, I'm partially to blame here, and I'm gonna take a step forward and and we're gonna we're gonna m move forward and not not backwards. And I think, I mean, uh Sean's a perfect example of that.
Purpose, Failure, And Asking For Help
SPEAKER_01All right. I'm gonna mix it up. I'm gonna ask the next question of Sean.
SPEAKER_05You're fired.
SPEAKER_01You can't fire me. I'm not getting paid, my man. Dang it. In essence, what is your why? In other words, what moves you? Why do you do what you do? What makes you passionate? And what are you living for? In other words, what's the meaning behind who you are and what you're doing?
SPEAKER_05Man, that's a deep question. Um, my why has always been my children, but I think your why can change as you go. Sitting in a men's group surrounded by broken men. It's becoming a big part of it. Um, you know, I don't think I went through what I went through not to help, but to sit on the sidelines. And me and Dan talk about that a lot. And you know, stu I feel called to do so. I didn't want to talk in front of 200 people. I didn't. I was about to pee my pants. Um, and I and I I didn't want to do it, but I feel called to do it, you know. So my why is uh a part of obedience. Um I'm gonna start listening to the voice in my head, or maybe that's me, maybe it's not, I don't know. But if it keeps coming up, I'm gonna I'm I'm eventually gonna do it. May take me a minute, but I'm eventually gonna do it. Dan's a big bully, as everybody is aware of. When I first started, he's like, we're gonna do a men's group, and like three months went by. Yeah, maybe not three months, about two months. He's like, Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna start every every meeting we'd have, we'd always talk about this men's group. And I'm like, why is he waiting? When's he gonna start it? What are we gonna do? And then I I think I got the hint. It's like it was never meant for me to do. It was meant for you. Yeah, you meaning Sean, yes.
SPEAKER_04Right, yeah. So yeah.
SPEAKER_01What about you, Ben?
SPEAKER_08Just feel like it's the why of just helping, helping people, whether that's helping people find faith or just feeling loved. I feel like that's my why. Um you know, obviously that starts with my wife and my kids. But then after that, it just trickles down to everybody. That's that's my goal. Always one want people to feel loved because that's how God made us feel. So that's my why. Make sure people feel loved and seen.
SPEAKER_04You know, Sean's right. I think your why changes, and it obviously, you know, for Ben and I, the last two years, there's there's been so much, so much change with with Be Tempered and where it's going and what we're doing. But, you know, I think a lot about, you know, Ed Milette talks about there's there's two different things, and I say it a lot. You know, you're most qualified in life to help the person you used to be. That's a saying I use a lot. I think it's so powerful in almost every single person we interview, whatever they're doing now is has some type of tie into the person they used to be. But for me, my why is another thing that Ed Milet says, and you know, and he he impacted me a lot back in 2022 when I started on my my mental mindset shift journey. You know, he talks about when he gets to heaven and he's at the pearly gates and he looks over and he sees what looks to be himself. And what he hopes is that that reflection that he sees is a twin, is is the person that he was supposed to be. If he looks over there and he sees a different person, he knows he didn't do what he was supposed to do. And I think about that a lot. I think about, you know, I think our our whole purpose in life is to glorify God and to bring people to God. And I feel like as as this as Be Tempered has has grown, I feel like my faith has has grown. And I feel like that's my why. My why is to help to get these people closer to God. And if I do that, I feel like when uh whenever my time is and whenever I'm called, that I'll be able to look across and see a bald-headed guy that looks just like me. And so that's that's that's my why is to try to live, live for that and and to bring people with me.
SPEAKER_01Can you think of uh failure that in hindsight was maybe a turning point for you to bring you where you're at today?
SPEAKER_04I mean, I would say a failure, the the first thing that comes to my head is my selfishness. I that it's a failure in my mind. I I'm taken back to the rite of passage and everything leading up to that and how it was all about me. And everything I did leading up to that was to glorify me. And you know, the rite of passage wasn't a failure. I mean, it was a it was an amazing turning point in my life and and the encounter with Jesus through through Ray McLeson. That was um, I I I look at that as things leading to that as a failure of my mind, thinking about nothing but myself and how God said, hold on here, buddy.
SPEAKER_01Let me show you something.
SPEAKER_04I'm gonna show you that um, you know, this this isn't about you. This isn't about what you've done. This isn't about how hard you've trained, this isn't about, you know, all the people that you told and how you want to inspire people. This is not about that. This is this life is about me. And it's about your relationship with me, and it's about being my hands and my feet. It's about being intentional when you speak and being intentional when you listen. And um, so that although that was uh what I feel was uh, I know it was an amazing turning point in my life and in my faith. Um it was a failure leading up to that, I feel like. Um that's that's the one that pops pops into my mind. And boy, was it it was powerful.
SPEAKER_01I feel like that's how God works. Uh until we can really see our faults and see who we really are at our inner core. I don't think we're ever gonna be prepared to be the person we were meant to be or God has called us to be. And sometimes that means He takes us to a pretty low place. Yeah. And that that's gonna look different for a lot of different people, but obviously this has had a huge impact on you.
SPEAKER_04It it yeah, it has. And it doesn't mean that I'm healed from it, right? I'm still a selfish man.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And I but you're aware. I'm aware, I'm 100% aware, and you know, it's made me aware with other people as well. Uh, you know, I think Kim and I have conversations every day where it's, you know, you find yourself talking about someone else, and then you're like, what are we doing? What I mean, who are we? We're we're being judgmental, we're being selfish, you know, all those things. So it's helped me to recognize that, but it's it's a journey, it's a process. And I'm sure it's something, you know, everybody, anybody listening, I'm sure deals with that, even whether you you admit it or you don't, you know, um that it's who we are as human beings. And I think that's part of the devil's way of you know, trying to erode to make us be prideful and selfish and all those things. Um, so it's it's definitely a journey, but that was that was kind of the awakening for me.
SPEAKER_01What about you, Ben? Any failures that come to mind that was a turning point in hindsight?
SPEAKER_08Um so I I'd say probably letting my apostas syndrome take grasp of me pretty much what I've talked about my whole life. Um not being willing to like take a step and bet on yourself kind of thing, you know. Um but I feel like this, you know, actually Caterin's glass was the whole reason. I feel like I started stepping out of that more. Um, you know, it it helped me to kind of bet on myself because coming into the glass industry, I knew absolutely zero things about glass or you know, construction really in general. And um so I feel like with Dan, you know, he was willing to tell me, like, hey, like you're gonna fail, like it's gonna be okay. Like that's how we all learn. And I feel like Dan, like helping me feel like those are learning steps, right? That helped me bet on myself, you know. I told him I'd be loyal and uh, you know, I that's the one thing that I I am confident in myself is I'll be as loyal as I can be. But that gave me the the confidence to bet on myself and I wouldn't be here today if you know if it wasn't for that, I'd still be being comfortable selling guns in my underwear at home. So that's always thought Jeff.
SPEAKER_07Well, picture that.
SPEAKER_08But no, no, but that's uncomfortable. But yeah, I think that's probably the biggest failure that you know is starting to start to battle through it.
SPEAKER_01But listening to you talk and mention imposter syndrome, the there's a Bible verse that comes to mind, and I think I've shared it on this podcast before. The apostle Paul said, I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4 and 3. Yeah. That's I I love that verse. It's probably the very first verse that I ever read as a child that really stuck and I was able to grasp it. I knew what it meant. And what that verse teaches us, it's not your strength. It's not that I can do all things. You have to put it all in the proper perspective. What he's saying is, through me, you can do all things. I will be your strength, then you can do anything. Yeah. I just I just love the empowerment that God gives us through that verse.
SPEAKER_08Yeah. That's one of them. One of the first ones that I taught heavy was actually Philippians 4 and 3. Yeah. Yeah. I I love it. So remember that.
SPEAKER_01I will. Yeah. What about you, Sean?
SPEAKER_05Well, that's a question.
SPEAKER_01So failure? Yeah. Any failure that you've had in the past that in hindsight was a turning point for the success that you see now.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I mean, the divorce. I mean, it forced me to look, look at myself in the mirror, which men, we don't like to do.
SPEAKER_01So I'm sure you saw something you didn't like.
SPEAKER_05Absolutely. I mean, yeah. Anger, isolation, hiding. I mean, I can how long do we got? Yeah. So I mean, 100%. Yeah. It's not even close. That's the biggest one.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. But what did you learn from it?
SPEAKER_05Everything.
unknownYou know.
SPEAKER_01You have to be more specific.
SPEAKER_05Well, I know. I mean, like I said, uh I mean, I learned I had to learn where my anger come from. And that's a huge part of the men's group that we're gonna start diving into is all right, you're angry, you know, your wife really didn't do anything wrong. Why are you so angry? Because the anger comes from a different spot. And um learning where my anger came from. I mean, if I you know, I'd not going through divorce, I wouldn't have learned that. You know, I stepped back, asked for help for the first time in my life, you know, saw two different counselors, and you know, I mean, amazing things came from it. Even though, you know, it was the darkest time of my life. Like I grew the most.
SPEAKER_01Was asking for help one of the hardest things you'd ever done? Because when I think about that, I'm I'm uh you're you just stuck a knife in me.
SPEAKER_05So pride.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I I I that's something I probably battle most is this pride, this ego that uh in my mind uh the last thing I ever want to do is ask for help. And sometimes that's the thing that we need most.
SPEAKER_05Uh it is. It's so one thing they're teaching is we're all trying to do a two-man job alone.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05You know, and that's where Christ comes in.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05The Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_01I've never heard it put that way, but I like that.
SPEAKER_05Where I mean, it makes so it makes so much sense. You know how many how many times have Dan asked me for help. That's shock, not not shocking, I know Dan, but how many times have we picked something up that's way too heavy for one person? You know, all the time. And it's a two-person job. We're doing it alone. It's hard. You know, and that that's where pride comes in, ego, and it's so hard to let all that go. You know, we've I've been fighting alone for forty years. I don't need your help. I know how to do that. Right?
SPEAKER_01Where's it get you? Didn't work out too well, did it?
SPEAKER_05I'll say it again. Sean's way doesn't work. So I think that's where Us men, we have to I don't know who says it, but the pain of your current reality is so bad that the pain of change is you'll step into the the uncomfortability of change if the pain of your reality, you know what I mean? If it's so painful in the moment, like you I just knew I had to change. Something had to change.
SPEAKER_01So is it part of that surrender?
SPEAKER_05Oh no. I still can't like even today, it's hard for me to surrender everything. I'm a fighter, man. You know?
SPEAKER_01I mean part of that's just the fact that we're men.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_01Men don't surrender.
SPEAKER_05No.
SPEAKER_01I mean it's it it's But how do you serve God without surrendering? Hit your knees. That's hard. That's great conversation. I appreciate you sharing that. So now how important is establ I'm I feel like I'm kind of all over the place
Morning Routine Discipline That Sticks
SPEAKER_01here. We're hitting a lot of different subjects. How important is establishing a morning routine to set the discipline for the day? And how uh or have you, I think I already know the answer, but how have you confronted that and are you very disciplined about a morning routine?
SPEAKER_08Yeah, I'm very disciplined. If I get out of my rhythm of my morning, uh the rest of the day is just not doesn't flow as smoothly. Yeah, I like to set my line for four and then wake up at four and then brush my teeth, go to the gym. And that's the time that I get uh start my day with just in that routine on the way in. I'll I'll listen to the Bible app, get get in touch with God, whatever, you know, plan I'm going through then that that time and then um and then I'll lift for for an hour and then go back home and get the kids ready and give them hugs and send them off for their day and then come into work. And I feel like that establishes okay, number one in my life is faith, right? Like going to the gym, like my time with God, the first time I have with God, it's the first conversation I have for the day. Everybody else is asleep. That's my first conversation. Then I get to the gym, okay. Now I'm taking care of myself and taking care of my body, getting my mind right, and then I go back home. And because I did those first two things, now I can take care of my family the proper way, and then I could take care of my business. How long have you been doing that? A long time. I can't. It's as soon as my mind shift change, probably. Yeah, so I don't even know that part of your story. When did you get through a bunch of well? So Lisa is still working on the phone. I don't know if you've ever even shared that on this podcast. I don't know if I I might have shared it at episode one. I don't know. Maybe. Yeah, there because remember, there's the me drinking the green juice.
SPEAKER_04Uh don't watch episode one. Yeah.
SPEAKER_08No, so definitely gonna watch it.
SPEAKER_04It's the cartoon.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, so we uh we were at one of Lisa's work parties and um, I forget. It was like on the Wii and it was this dance revolution game, and it was like a Christmas party, and um, you know, you dance and then it replays the video back to you. And when it replayed the video back to me, that was the first time I ever saw myself like that. Like I I still saw myself as a high school athlete, you know, that could do anything. Like I can run for forever. I that's why I still saw myself. And then all of a sudden I look and and watch this reflection. It's like, holy crap, is that me? Like, you know, I went from, you know, playing basketball every day. Um, you know, I was playing in an arena football league, and then just went to a desk job and sat down and and ate. And the good thing about working in sales is you have a lot of reps and manufacture reps that come in and bring you free food all the time. And it it caught up with me.
SPEAKER_01So that's so how long ago was that?
SPEAKER_08Uh so it had been probably 2013, 14. So you've been on this morning routine for a long time. Yeah. So it was a game changer for you. 100% game changer. Yeah. And that was when I realized I got to take care of myself before I take care of my family. Because even at that time, if I look back now, like I would say Lisa and I'm marriage, that was when our marriage was the worst. And yeah, I think it was because if I can't love myself, how can I love my wife? You know what I mean? So taking care of myself, that's that was the first priority of loving myself so I can love my wife.
SPEAKER_01Sean, have you developed a morning routine?
SPEAKER_05Oh, I think we're all creatures of habit.
SPEAKER_01Um but I mean, more than that, but so that it's deliberate and you've got maybe goals in mind.
SPEAKER_05Are you not near as detailed as Ben's, but I mean I wake up anywhere from 6 to 6:30 and you know, uh it depends if it's Monday or Friday. Yeah. Or Monday, or if it's the weekend, the weekend's a little bit different. I go straight to the gym. Yeah. Uh yeah. I mean, it's just like I think Sean's ready for 75 Heart again. Well, it depends if I have Haven or not. Like take her to the bus stop. You know, my routine's a little bit different, um depending on the situation. But but yeah, I mean if I sleep until 7, 7:15, I literally feel like I've lost half the day.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Because of the because of the the time lost. But yeah, I I mean, even when I come into work now, there's a routine I do. I come in, get my coffee cup, turn on the TV, play Be Tempered, get coffee, listen to music, worship music. Like there, yes, that's a routine.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Instead of telling us what your morning routine is, Dan, I I'd rather hear your thoughts on why a morning routine is so important and what it does for us.
SPEAKER_04Well, I think Ben said it. I mean, it establishes your day. You know, whether that's whether you're into working out early in the morning or whether you get up and you read your Bible or you pray or whatever it is, it establishes the day ahead. And I I think it's important, you know, to not just roll out of bed, throw your clothes on and go to work. I think it's important, you know, all of us are so busy throughout the day. And usually as the day goes on, it gets busier, especially those of us with kids, you know, and if they're involved in anything, whether it's sports or or school activities or church activities or whatever it is, you know, usually your evenings are pretty full as well. So I I think it is it is essential, and it's essential in my life to uh, you know, to get up early and and to develop that discipline, to force yourself, because it's not always easy, you know, to get out of bed at at you know, 445 when I get out of bed or four when when Ben gets out of bed. But when you do that, you you have have started your day off right. You're intentional with how your day's gonna start and you don't waver from that. So my my routine is very similar to Ben's. Um, and I I feel the same way. Like if something happens or uh power goes out and my alarm doesn't go off and I don't happen to wake up like it like it's ruins my day. Yeah. And uh and it and it's challenging um to get through those days just because it didn't start the way that I know that it should have started. So I think it's it's important, definitely important in in my life and and in Kim's life as well. I mean, she does she does the same thing, and and we talk about that a lot. If yesterday morning our the power went out and it kind of threw our day off, and it just felt like the whole day was out of glass, right? Yeah, like just like how do I do this? You know, everything's out of order. Yeah, and and you know, there's times in my life when it wouldn't have been. I would have got up and turned the news on and watched the news and ate breakfast and just been a slob, and yeah, and my life reflected that.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And uh, you know, and now it's it's completely different. And and so um it is essential, I think, if you want to strengthen your life, your family's life, uh, and you want things to be better, to establish some sort of of early morning routine uh where you've got time in the word, when you've got time for yourself and you've got time to kind of process and get your blood flowing. It's man, it's a it's a game changer.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. How will you know that the podcast has been successful?
Defining Success Without Stats
SPEAKER_01Do you have benchmarks or we have Sean?
SPEAKER_04He's yeah. Sean is a good one. I knew right when you asked that question, it was gonna come on our status. It's really up to game. So Sean tells us when we're good or we're bad. Um Yeah, I'm not talking about stats. No, I know. I know you're not. And which they're important, but they and they are, and I respect that that Sean does it, because it is it is kind of cool to see these things and and try to figure out the algorithms and all that stuff that he gets all nerded out about. Um but sorry, I'm a bully. Um, you know, I we talk about success all the time and how it's it's different for everybody. Success for me with the podcast is just getting that message from that one person or running into somebody I don't even know, and them coming up to us and being like, man, what you're doing's awesome. And then they go into a story or they share part of their testimony, which happens a lot now. Um, that's success. And I think those are those little signs that I pray for every day for God, you know, hey, just help me to know that I'm on the right path. And when you get some of the messages that that we get, some of the phone calls that we get running into people at random places again that you don't know, and having those conversations, that's that's where the power's at. You know, the gratitude walk, when we do those, I mean, everyone, well, we've we got well, we've got one coming up this week, but it'll be prior to this because of the recording times and dates. So um something powerful has come out of those walks, everyone that we've done. You know, meeting someone.
SPEAKER_01Well, and the connections that people are making.
SPEAKER_04And how simple is it? We're I mean, we're not doing anything excruciating. It's a one like one mile walk, and we're just walking and talking. But man, people are thirsty for gratitude, for gratefulness, for positivity in this world of negativity. Um, that's success. And and and we've said it before, whether whether Be Tempered stays in our local community or whether it goes global, it I don't that that's not what success is. Success is is just, you know, meeting that husband whose wife gave her testimony and telling us with tears in his eyes that thank you. You know, it explains so much with our relationship. That that's where the power's at. That's where the success is at. And I think that's God's way of showing me that, hey, keep doing what you're doing. You're on the right path. I'll I will provide you what you need. I'll provide you the people that you need and the places you need and all those things. Uh, and that's part of that surrender, that's part of being obedient. And um, and it it's it's been amazing. That's success for me. Yeah.
SPEAKER_08Anything else to add, Ben? Uh yeah. I from Dan and I's first vision, like this podcast is is successful. Like it's already been successful. If if today's the last day we have this podcast, like this podcast was successful because our goal is just to help one person. And it was just a help. Like now we're starting to see people's lives like literally transformed and them telling us this. Um, that that makes this whole thing successful. Now it's about where how what's God's success for it, right? Where does God want us to take it um outside of the podcast? And so I'm really excited about what's your biggest fear? Um biggest fear for the podcast. Well, overall holding myself back from getting to where God wants me to be, like Dan talks about. That's my number one. And I know the the one that's going to sabotage me the most is myself. That's my biggest fear. And knowing that, I mean it's for all of us, right? Whether it's grace or or the confidence to do it, that's the biggest fear. Sean.
SPEAKER_05Two things come to mind. First is losing one of my children. Second one would be not living up to what God has in store for me. There's nothing more I could add.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I mean, I think as a parent, I mean I can imagine. I've been to some funerals in tiny little boxes. Um yeah. That's a huge, huge fear of mine.
SPEAKER_01What about you, Dan?
SPEAKER_04You know, my biggest fears is letting the people down who are a part of my life. From, you know, you know, as a business owner, you know, the last thing you want is would it would ever be to have to let an employee go, that would be a failure and a fear of mine because I I, you know, I love and respect everyone a part of my life, from from my wife to my children, to my parents, to my brother, to all my in-laws, to all my friends, but to also to the people who have bought in to my vision. Whether that's, you know, working in the glass shop or whether that's being a part of be tempered, or whether it's a part of being in the farm, like my biggest fear is like, and I, and that's part of the doubt, you know, I think the devil places in your mind is like, what are you doing? Again, the what if. What if, what if this happens? What if that happens? So that that's what I fear the most is letting the the people who are closest to me down is is my biggest fear.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. What about you, Brian? I wondered if you were gonna ask that. Um somebody earlier mentioned the fact that you know sometimes our answers change over time. Several years ago, um, and I think I've shared this, so it's not a secret to anybody. I went through a really challenging time financially, and that that gripped me. Um, I I owned it. I knew that there were decisions that I'd made that brought me to that point. Even at the time, I couldn't quite see it. I didn't, that took some time to come to the realization. It's like, well, yeah, you put yourself in that position. And that fear of failure financially gripped me to where I was several years being able to make decisions confidently, to feel like I could make a decision and not be scared to death that it was going to take me right back to where I'd been before. Um, but today, you know, I I'm thinking I'm behind that. Today it would be the failure of others. And I think it kind of ties into what you're saying. You know, it I feel like, and you know, Sean, you mentioned I I can't imagine that either, the fear of losing a child or your spouse. I mean, that that would that'd be hard to recover from. But I think for me personally, the very first thing that comes to mind now is I have to be honest and recognize, and this is not to boast, this isn't my ego speaking. I've been given a lot. And I and I'm not talking about material things. I've been given wisdom, I've been given blessings that I don't deserve. I I've been given God's grace. And through all of these experiences of life, I have a lot that I feel like I can offer. And again, this isn't boastful. This is just me recognizing God's work in my life and the fear of not fulfilling God's calling over me in my life. That's terrifying. I, you know, who would want in their right mind to let down the God of love that's loved me beyond any imagination, loved me unconditionally when I seems like I all I ever love with is conditional love. Imagine letting him down. And that to me is a thought I don't ever want to have to live with. So that's what I'm afraid of.
SPEAKER_04It's good.
SPEAKER_01It's really good. All right.
Nonprofit Plans And School Program
SPEAKER_01Do you have a motto that you live by?
SPEAKER_04Mine's pretty simple, and I I'll steal it from Maddie because he's the first one I heard it from, which is get comfortable being uncomfortable, you know, in a in a in the world that I live in.
SPEAKER_01I forget who said that.
SPEAKER_04Maddie, but somebody's sure he stole it from the street. Somebody coined that. We'll give it to Maddie. Yeah, we'll still do that. I think Maddie coined it. Yeah. Yeah, he did. But I, you know, that I I I look at that. That's my motto. That's you know, every time I feel like I'm a little bit comfortable, I'm really not. I mean, there's there's there's always something that's got me uncomfortable. And um it's hard, but that's how that's the life that I've been blessed with. Um, you know, that that's just where I'm at. So that's kind of my motto is hey, if I'm really uncomfortable and it's a difficult situation or difficult conversation, like, dude, you signed up for this. Like, this is this is what you wanted.
SPEAKER_01So that's where growth's happening.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. I'd say that's my motto.
SPEAKER_01Sean, do you have a motto? Oh, go for it.
SPEAKER_05Not really, man. Just uh I mean, lately it's just like live in your purpose. Um walk in the like in it, and it's so hard to find your purpose. And that's but once you find it, I think um it will definitely be uncomfortable. Um but no, I mean, just live in your purpose.
SPEAKER_08I think everybody knows my motto. I want to hear it again. I say it all the time, just live in the dream. Like it sounds the most clear.
SPEAKER_05See, he would have hated my speech.
SPEAKER_08Well, see, people I mean, honestly, what's your dream though? Like, what's my dream? Like, honestly, my dream would have been born like 100 years ago. Because how much simpler of a time it would have been. Like, God's giving me three boys and a beautiful wife that is my best friend. Like, that is living the dream. Like, I could have the worst day of work, I could be fired, all these bad things could happen to me. I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna spend time with my kids and my wife. I'm living the dream, right? And uh, so that that that's really it. Like, just know that I'm I am living the dream. And I say it all the time, and I say it to people, and they're like, Well, how are you doing? You know, I'm living the dream. And I know people think that I'm just being a smart elk about it. Like, okay. Yeah, everybody says that.
SPEAKER_05Everybody says it, but tell me your family is your purpose.
SPEAKER_08Right. It is my purpose, but that is my dream. Like my dream, like what I prayed for. Like, give me boys to carry on my family name. Guess what I got? I got three boys I'm gonna carry on my family name, and I'm gonna teach them exactly what it means to be a spar. And it might not be the same thing that my grandpa or my great-grandparents thought it was, but it's what I'm defining as a spar. And then the rest of it is what God's giving me, you know, like God's giving me a beautiful wife that is raising these boys with a great job, you know, a purpose with be tempered. You know, it's just living the dream. That's my motto. Yeah. You want to go ahead and tell me your speech?
SPEAKER_05Nope. We've got a video and I don't have it yet. We'll air it. Something about don't chase your dreams, chase, chase your purpose.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_08Well, it's I mean, what's usually somebody's dream though?
SPEAKER_05He's not he's not chasing his dream. I mean, he's living it. Right. Yeah, yeah. I'm living my dream. Yeah. And your dreams and your purpose can collide, I think. 100%. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01All right. What's next for Bee Tempered?
SPEAKER_04Oh boy. Get comfortable being uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_01Um you have any plans? Where do you see for the future?
SPEAKER_04Well, it's not even what we see, it's what's going on. I mean, as you know, you're you're well in the middle of it. We're we're starting a nonprofit called the Be Tempered Foundation. Um from that, we um we will we will use that nonprofit to get into schools, which um, you know, I'm happy to announce here today that um we are partnering with what we're calling our uh B Tempered Standard, which is we've broken B Tempered down into an acronym. So 10 letters, um, 20 different words, 10 of them negative, 10 of them positive, and we've turned this into teaching, leadership to go into schools. And um we are, you know, I'm proud to say today that our our 2026, 2027 pilot school for for next year or for this year leading into next year is is Tri-County North Schools over in Lewisburg, Ohio. And um we are are grateful for their partnership and really looking forward to what the be tempered standard looks like moving forward. Forward, we're going to learn a lot of things. Um, but man, it's an exciting time for us because when you look at Be Tempered as a whole, you know, yes, the the podcast is has been the driving force, and that will continue to go and we'll continue to share stories. And we've got some amazing uh individuals lined up to come on and share their stories and their testimonies. But we also want to get to the kids. We want to get to the Sean Rubushes before they're, you know, they're in their their 30s going through a divorce and have to deal with all that they dealt with as a young kid, and but not actually dealing with it until they were forced to. So um there's a whole lot of things that encompass that B-tempered standard and that will be under the umbrella of the B-tempered foundation. And uh we're excited for that. You know, Ben's in the middle of working on uh the care cycle, which is which is came from the the episode with Allie Schaefer. I don't know, do you want to share share what's going on with that?
SPEAKER_08Yeah, we've had some uh big breakthroughs on that. Um really that's amazing. Yeah, so I know it originally you were all like, this is a huge problem. How do we even tackle it? And it it is a huge problem. But what's great is once these problems get brought to the the forefront and brought to the light, there's so many people that want to help, you know. So computing so for the first thing, what they did we did a survey with some of the you know, the lower income families in the school about what their needs are. And to my ignorance, like SNAP benefits do not cover um hygiene. So your deodorants, your shampoo, um, your soaps, all those things, toothbrushes, toothpaste, they are not provided for low-income families. So, what what's one of the big things you remember for school? You know, kids get made fun of for being smelly and stuff like that. Well, those kids can't like they have no nothing to help them. They don't have that uh support. So one of the things that we started picking up too is hygiene packs. Well, how can we, you know, get those community driven? So the community members donated these products, and so next week we're on a pilot program of that, passing those out to uh kids in Eaton uh that gets Jacob's Ladder. And then so and it was an honor to partner with that. That's a whole nother story, uh partner with Jacobs Ladder. And then on top of that, you know, you go back to the actual root cause of laundry service. And um, we had conversations with the local laundry mat who's gonna, you know, agree to do community days this fall. So once a month, right now we'll have a community day where people are able to come in and do their laundry for low-income families. So tackling the need, and it's all because community driven, you know? Yeah. That's where problems get solved. Yeah, it's when community members see the light, problem or problems get brought to the light, and then the community steps up.
SPEAKER_04Well, and also too, you know, like with the the gratitude walks, and and we've got uh we're gonna be doing a uh a little more strenuous event coming up in uh May, Memorial Day, where we'll do um the Murph Challenge uh over at Fort St. Clair in Eaton, which it's not we're not charging for any of this. This is all, you know, come and get a little uh blood, sweat, and tears, hopefully not buried. Yeah, I mean, you know, do some challenging things, but it's just it there's there's so many things that have started to evolve from this. And and I, you know, I was kind of held back a little bit from wanting to do a nonprofit, um, just not understanding it. But the but the more conversations that we've all had sitting in meetings and and meeting with community leaders and members and teachers and administrators, that yeah, man, we really need we need a nonprofit so that we can can use that to uh to go out and do these things like the care cycle and do the the be tempered standard and get into schools. So, you know, eventually we're gonna learn a lot from the pilot program, learning a lot with the care cycle and what Ben's doing there. Um and things just continue to grow and to evolve, and we're gonna meet more people and more testimonies are gonna come out, and there's gonna be more needs that are are gonna be shown to us, and and hopefully we can help facilitate um the right people to start to take action to again go back to what I said earlier. It was like we want to improve our communities and uh and and I don't just want to improve the adults, you know. I want to encompass those kids in schools. And if we can teach them the be tempered principles and for example, the letter B, you know, the negative side of B is broken. The positive is belief. You know, there's we we've got a whole, I'm not gonna call it a curriculum, I don't even know what you call it, a lesson around the letter B. And to teach that to those kids so that they can be vulnerable in their lives and their uh, you know, how they view people and their perspectives on on other kids in their schools to start that process earlier, not later in life when when Sean's going through a divorce and he has to face it. Like, hey, let's let's try to get that one kid. Let's try to get that one kid to to change their life or to break that cycle or or or whatever that is in their life that's that's challenging them so that they can um they can can be us sitting here someday and wanting to make an impact in their community. That's you know, hopefully we can encompass all ages and uh and continue to to grow this thing wherever God wants it to go. Right. I think that's the biggest thing, like Sean talks about, it's being obedient.
SPEAKER_01Well, I've seen you uh three grow, and I think uh the decisions you're making now in terms of where the podcast goes with the be tempered foundation going into schools, it's all done with prayer. It's not like you're jumping in just by blind faith. Uh it's it's deliberate, and I I fully believe God will bless that.
SPEAKER_04We are blessed, for sure.
SPEAKER_01So well, I don't have any more questions. Anything you guys want to share in conclusion?
SPEAKER_04Kevin, you got anything to add back there? You've been a part of this journey for the last two years.
SPEAKER_06It's been a wild ride.
SPEAKER_04It has.
SPEAKER_06A lot of episodes, a lot of different stories that come through here. Um what's cool is it's like you know, um, I just shared my story. Um I didn't feel like the only broken person after I've heard everybody else's like and that and that's really cool because then you go out in society and you're like all of these people could have similar stories, but don't isolate myself so much, right? Like we all have something that we can relate on. So it's been really cool seeing everyone come through here.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Well, and it's it's been cool, you know, for Ben and I to see your your change. I mean, you've you've changed. You've changed since we started, I think episode 10 was when we came in here with Coach Kelly, and and then when we recorded your episode. Um, like I've I've seen uh we've seen a big change in you, and uh it's been pretty cool to cool to be a part of. Yeah, proud of you, man. How many days, Sober?
SPEAKER_06Too many. Too many that's the wrong answer.
SPEAKER_04Forget what we said about change. Three years. Three years?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I'd have to look at the app, but yeah.
SPEAKER_04It's awesome, man. Over three years. Awesome. Good for you. Yeah, we appreciate you. We appreciate your work, and and uh, you know, anybody out there that wants to start a podcast, I would encourage you to give it a try. Kevin's Kevin's always taking on more clients, and and um, you know, this is a great, great spot. I mean, we've had a hundred and however many episodes sitting at this table, and and uh it's been pretty, pretty cool journey and excited to see, you know, where it goes.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, I do not have the closing statement memorized. So you're gonna have to close this out, Dan.
SPEAKER_04Well, thank you. Yes, thank you for doing this. Uh, you know, taking the time out of your day to one to prepare for it. I see your paper there and you checked off all the boxes, so you're good there. Yeah. Um, and and thanks for your help with um, you know, leading us in in the right direction and and questioning things. And because, you know, we can we can get lost in our in our passion and where we want to go and what we want to do. So it's nice to have a a little bit of an outside voice. So I'm excited uh for the future with all of us. So I would encourage everybody, if you've made it this far, we're almost two hours in. Are we really?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Thank you. The whole entire time my feet has not touched the ground, just to let everybody know.
SPEAKER_01Liberally or figuratively.
SPEAKER_04So if you're watching, if you're watching on YouTube, they made me raise my chair.
SPEAKER_08Sean and Ben are not the same height. They made me lower my chair all the way down. So my knees, I'm gonna feel like Murph trying to get up out of this chair.
Closing Call To Action
SPEAKER_05I can help you. I'll just have to take the elevator down.
SPEAKER_04Hey, I will say this if you've made it this far, subscribe. If you're not subscribed on YouTube, um, comments, all those things, it helps to push that algorithm. We want to continue to grow this. If there's a reason that you're here, if you've been listening to this thing for two hours, it's impacted you in some way. And we are we're grateful for that. Um, I would just say share it. Share it with someone that you know, share it with someone that needs a positive message. You've you've got 104 episodes to go back on, all kinds of different stories that someone can relate to. So we ask you to share and like and subscribe and do all those things and go out and be
Sponsor Message And Patreon Reminder
SPEAKER_04tempered.
SPEAKER_00Hi, my name is Allie Schmidt. This is my goddamn hands, Catrin's Glass.
SPEAKER_03Thanks, Allie. Things like doors and windows go into making a house. But when it's your home, you expect more, like the great service and selection you'll get from Catrance Glass. Final replacement windows from Catrins come with a lifetime warranty, including accidental glass breakage replacement. Also ask for custom shower doors and many other products and services. Go 962-1636, locally owned with local employees for nearly 30 years.
SPEAKER_00Patrons Glass, the clear choice.
SPEAKER_02I want to share something that's become a big part of the Be Tempered mission: Patreon. Now, if you've never used it before, Patreon is a platform where we can build community together. It's not just about supporting the podcast, it's about having a space where we can connect on a deeper level, encourage one another, and walk this journey of faith, resilience, and perseverance side by side. Here's how it works. You can join as a free member and get access to daily posts, behind-the-scenes updates, encouragement, and some things I don't always put out on other platforms. And if you feel called to support the mission financially, there are different levels where you can do that too. That support helps us keep producing the podcasts, creating gear, hosting events, and sharing stories that we believe can truly impact lives. And here's the cool part Patreon has a free app you can download right on your phone. It works just like Facebook or Instagram, but it's built specifically for our community. You'll be able to scroll through posts, watch videos, listen to content, and interact with others who are on the same journey. At the end of the day, this isn't just about content, it's about connection. It's about building something together. Not just me and Ben putting out episodes, but a family of people committed to growing stronger through real stories and real faith. So whether you just want to hop on as a free member or you feel called to support in a bigger way, Patreon is the door into that community. Because at the heart of Be Tempered has always been simple real stories, raw truth, resilient faith. So that even one person out there that hears what they need to hear, and Patreon helps make that possible.
