Stop Telling, Start Asking: Unlocking Your Team’s Full Potential

Is your team struggling to collaborate or share ideas? 

The key to unlocking their potential lies in moving from telling to asking.

Episode Highlights:

• Lessons from a Leadership Pioneer: Discover how the late MIT professor Edgar Schein’s humble inquiry can transform your leadership and build team trust.
• Simple Shifts for Big Impact: Learn practical ways to replace directives with questions that engage and empower your team.
• Building a Culture of Trust: Create open communication that sparks collaboration and higher performance.

Ready to unleash your team and boost results? Listen now and see how small changes make a massive difference.

Unlock Your Business's Full Potential: Enroll Now in Dr. Dave's free Flow-Driven Business Blueprint Course!

Transcript

The glare on his computer screen blurs as he blinks exhaustion weighing down his eyes. He sits in the corner of his cubicle at Boeing watching the clock tick past 7pm the hum of the office grows quiet as the night shift takes over. On his screen is a technical document about the MCAS system, a new software feature in Boeing 737, Max, that's supposed to help pilots control the angle of the plane. He's been over it countless times, yet something nags at him and refuses to let him rest. A rare scenario, maybe, but if certain conditions line up, this system could malfunction, causing the plane to pitch downward. His mind races, is it worth the risk? He shifts in his chair thinking about that meeting a few weeks back. He'd mentioned it just once, almost in passing, a subtle concern to his supervisor. He remembers the look he got, a polite nod and then a quick dismissal. We don't have time for that right now. The message was clear at Boeing, there wasn't time to pause, to ask, to dig deeper. The clock was ticking. Deadlines were tight, and the competition with Airbus was fiercer than ever. The priority wasn't asking questions. It was keeping everything moving along. He considers typing out another email, maybe a note for further testing. His fingers hover over the keyboard, the glow casting shadows on his face, but he pauses, the unspoken rule echoes in his mind, don't speak unless you're sure. But how sure can anyone be in a place where questions are silenced by urgency? He exhales, shuts his computer and walks away, leaving the unasked question behind. Months later, in his kitchen, he stares at a headline second, Boeing, 737, Max crash in five months. Coffee grows cold in his hands as he replays that moment at his desk, wondering what might have been different if he'd pushed harder or if someone had invited him to share his concerns. Moments like these remind us not just of the stakes, but how easily silence can turn into consequence. Today's episode is all about how we can create a culture where questions like this don't go unasked, a culture where Curiosity is the norm and where something called humble inquiry can make all the difference. Let's get started. Hey there. Welcome to flow driven leadership, the podcast that transforms visionary entrepreneurs into more flow CEOs with high performance workplaces. I'm your host and coach, Dr Dave Maloley, and I believe that entrepreneurs are athletes and their business is the field of play each day is a game that they're either prepared to win or they're not. If you disregard this, you're headed for trouble. As a business owner for 15 years and a business coach for seven I've seen the dramatic impact when leaders apply this concept. Listen, we spend so much of our lives at work and high performance is really our duty as business owners, because life's too short to allow team dysfunction in our organizations. It's hard on you, it's hard on your team, and it's hard on your customers. Really, I dream of a world where businesses routinely adopt flow as one of their core values. Now flow driven leadership is where high performance and high profit intersect, and that idea is supported by four pillars. We have mental optimization. Then we have flow orchestration. Next, we have courageous communication. And finally, we have team transformation. Today, we'll be focusing on courageous communication. You know, when people don't feel safe to ask questions, they just stop sharing their insights, their ideas, even their doubts. And at first glance, those things might seem quite small, but they can make a world of difference. In Bowie's case, the unasked question had a devastating ripple effect. So as leaders, it's our job to create environments where people feel safe to ask, Where there is room for curiosity and concern without the fear of being shut down. Here's the thing, most of us think we know how to ask questions, but as Edgar shine points out in his book, humble inquiry, the gentle Art of Asking instead of telling. Don't we all know how to ask questions. Of course, we think we know how to ask, but we fail to note. How often even our questions are just another form of telling rhetorical or just testing whether what we think is right. We are biased toward telling instead of asking, because we live in a pragmatic and problem solving culture in which knowing things and telling others what we know is valued. This hits home, right, true, humble inquiry isn't about leading people to an answer or just confirming what we already believe as leaders. It's really about stepping back, dropping all those assumptions, and genuinely wanting to hear what somebody else has to share. Imagine if Boeing had embraced this, if their culture made space for those questions, especially the really tough ones. So what exactly is humble inquiry? Edgar Schein describes it as the art of asking questions with genuine curiosity, with no hidden agenda, just a simple desire to understand someone else's perspective. It's all about letting go of what you think you know and opening up to learn. Imagine if Boeing's leaders regularly ask their engineers, what do you see that we're missing, or what would you do differently? These questions send a powerful signal that every voice counts and every perspective matters. This shift from telling to asking builds trust and invites people to step up and share what they know. All right, so how can we bring humble inquiry to our teams tomorrow? Here's some easy ways to start one replace commands with open ended questions. Next time you feel like giving a directive, pause and ask. Instead, try something like, what do you think we should do next? Or, how do you see this playing out? It's a small tweak, but it opens up space for their insights. Two, embrace the power of silence once you've asked the question, let there be silence. Let there be space. Yeah, it feels awkward at first, but that pause invites the other person to think and respond thoughtfully. One leader I work with recently found that her most valuable insights came after a few moments of silence, three paraphrase and confirm. After someone speaks, take a second to paraphrase what you just heard, something like so if I'm hearing you right, you're saying this not only helps you understand, but shows the other person that you're really listening and for acknowledge every answer, especially the tough ones. When someone shares something hard to hear, acknowledge it a simple thank you for sharing that goes a very long way. Remember, it's not about agreement, it's about valuing every contribution. Here's where things get even more interesting. When you use humble inquiry and focus on strengths, you unlock a powerful trigger for group flow. That Appreciative Inquiry shifts our focus to what's working. It recognizes their strengths and CO creates a positive vision. Think about this, when people feel seen and appreciated, the conversation naturally shifts from me to we, and that's where the magic happens. Personal agendas fade, and collaboration starts to flow naturally. And in that space, team members feel comfortable contributing freely, and ideas flow without judgment. Everyone's on the same page moving towards that shared vision. What's incredible is how a humble inquiry can create a ripple effect across your team. When people feel valued and safe enough to speak up, they're more engaged, they're more open to collaboration and more willing to go that extra mile. Teams that operate in that way hit new levels of performance again and again. It's going to spark all sorts of creativity, and there's research to back this up. Teams that feel heard are not only more innovative, but they're more loyal and committed. They're not holding back because they know their input matters. This kind of environment fuels better outcomes and seamless collaboration.

So let's bring it back full circle. Just imagine if Boeing had made humble inquiry part of their company culture, if that engineer had felt empowered to voice his concerns, and if even one leader had responded with curiosity instead of dismissal, things would have turned out very differently. Now think about your own team, what insights, warnings or creative ideas might be waiting just below the surface, ready for you to ask. What do you think? Be that leader who invites the important questions. Humble inquiry isn't just another tool. It's the key to unlocking the full potential of your team and building a culture where trust, innovation and high performance thrive. The challenge I'm going to leave you with today is simple. In your next meeting or conversation, just try it out. Ask one question with genuine curiosity. Pause and listen even when it feels uncomfortable. Then paraphrase to show you care about understanding and thank them for their input. You'll be amazed at how these small steps can transform not just your team, but your entire approach to leadership and your business. Thank you for joining me today on the flow driven leadership podcast. If you found value in this episode, I'm going to ask you to take a moment right now and pay a small fee. Please leave a five star review or share this episode with a friend that could benefit so that flow driven leadership can continue its rapid growth, I would really appreciate it until next time. This is Dr Dave, reminding you to stay focused and flow driven!