Victim, Villain, or Hero? The Business Trap No One Talks About

Most leaders don’t realize it, but their business is trapped in an invisible cycle—one that breeds blame, burnout, and bad decisions. 

And here’s the kicker: it feels normal because it’s a pattern we’ve been in our whole lives. 

In This Episode, You’ll Discover:

•  The Hidden Leadership Trap—How these three toxic roles secretly sabotage your business (and why they’re so hard to spot).
•  Why Fear is Running the Show—The sneaky way fear-based leadership keeps you stuck in firefighting mode—without you even realizing it.
•  The 3 Shifts That Change Everything—How to rewire your business for ownership, empowerment, and flow—so your team performs at a higher level with less stress. 

🎧 Ready to break free from the cycle and lead with clarity and confidence? 

Listen now and start building a business that runs on flow—not fear.

Unlock Your Business's Full Potential: Enroll Now in Dr. Dave's free Flow-Driven Business Blueprint Course!

Transcript

When I was three, my mom taught me a magic trick, not rabbits from hats, not disappearing coins. No, this one was better, because this was a trick that could change who I was. It all started with a scrap of paper. She'd fold it back and forth, back and forth, like an accordion. Then she'd pinch it in the middle and smile look. She would say, a ball for princess. She tuck it into her hair, then she would flick her wrist and slide it under her nose and sneer, or a mustache for the villain. Her voice dropped an octave, she'd laugh, and I would laugh. Then just as quickly, she straightened, adjusted an imaginary cuff link, tucked the paper under her chin, and suddenly and now a bow tie for the hero, she planted her fist on her hips and looked off into the distance like she just saved an entire village. I would sit there in awe as I would imagine my own script. This wasn't just a trick, it was a transformation, one tiny shift, and suddenly you were someone else. And here's the thing, I'm not three anymore. I'm 50, and I realize that most people never stop playing this game, except now the props are gone, the laughter is gone, and those roles they don't feel like play anymore, because in business and in leadership and with teams, we're all still slipping into The same roles. Every single day. Someone is the victim, powerless, mistreated, convinced that everything is against them, and someone is the villain, blamed for every problem, the root of all the frustration, and someone is the hero, swooping in, fixing everything, carrying the weight of the world, and it's a gigantic problem. I call it the vortex of fear. And if your business is stuck in it, your team won't take ownership. Gossip and blame will replace any sort of problem solving, and you as the leader, as the entrepreneur, will feel like you're either under attack or constantly putting out fires, and if you don't break this cycle, forget building a high performance culture. So the real question is, how do you escape the vortex of fear and build a business where everyone owns their power without falling into the victim, villain or hero. That's exactly what we're tackling today. Let's get started. Well, hello there. Welcome to flow driven, the podcast that transforms ambitious entrepreneurs into flow driven CEOs with high performance workplaces. I'm your host and coach, Dr Dave Maloley, and I believe that entrepreneurs are athletes, and their business is the field of play. Every single day is a game, and the outcome of that game really depends on whether you're prepared to win or you're not. Here's what I dream of. I dream of a world where businesses routinely adopt flow as one of their core values. Imagine workplaces where leaders and teams perform in harmony, where challenges are met with collaboration, and where potential is unlocked, not wasted. Flow driven is where high performance and high profit intersect, and that idea is supported by four pillars. Soon to be five pillars, I'll be adding one next week. First, we have mental optimization, sharpening your mindset so that you can operate at your very best as the leader. Then we have flow orchestration, structuring your business for seamless execution. Third, there's courageous communication that's all about building trust and alignment through open, candid dialog. And finally, we have team transformation, that's where we create a culture that amplifies collective genius and drives exceptional profitability, and today we'll be focusing on that fourth one team transformation. So picture this, employees complain about leadership, but refuse to take responsibility, and then maybe you have a manager that cracks down harder, enforcing accountability, like some sort of drill sergeant, and then the owner feels like they're constantly micromanaging, firefighting and trying to hold it all together. Does any of us sound familiar? This isn't just ineffective management. This is a company that's trapped in a vortex of fear. Here, and if you don't break free from it, your best employees, the ones who hate the drama, they're going to leave and your leadership team will burn out, and your company will bleed time, energy and profitability due to all of this unproductive conflict. So how do we fix it? It starts with understanding the cycle. Many years ago, a psychologist by the name of Dr Stephen Cartman developed a concept called the Drama Triangle. He used the model to explain why people get stuck in toxic conflict. He explained that people often get caught in the drama triangle because it satisfies our unconscious needs for attention, control and validation, but it comes at the cost of real connection and problem solving. So think about that. People don't play these roles on purpose. They do it because it's automatic, because it's familiar. Maybe they saw a parent model it in their youth, and most of the time they don't even realize they're doing it. So here's how it plays out in business, the three fear roles. The first one we'll call villain. That's when you're in fight mode, and that is the position of You're the problem. You blame others, you control and dominate and you create fear instead of trust. Then we have the victim. This person is in freeze mode, and they're thinking, It's not my fault. They avoid responsibility. They feel absolutely powerless, and they complain, but don't act. And finally, we have the hero. This person is in flight mode, thinking, I have to fix this. They swoop in consistently to save the day. They over function while others under function, and they end up being exhausted and resentful. And here's the kicker, these roles aren't static. People shift roles constantly. Here would be an example, the hero CEO jumps in to save an employee. The employee doesn't know how to solve their own problems, and so they start acting like a victim, and then the CEO gets frustrated and angry and now becomes the villain. And then the cycle continues to distort and repeat itself, and this is why your business feels like an endless loop of blame, frustration and burnout. But here's the real issue, it's all fueled by fear, fear of losing control, fear of failure, fear of not being enough, and if you don't break the cycle and shift your team's mindset, you'll stay stuck in firefighting mode and reactive mode forever. So how do we escape this fear vortex that sucks so many of us in? How do you break free? Well, I think there are three key shifts. The first one is ownership over blame. Ask yourself, in a specific situation, am I seeing myself or the other players in this game as a villain, victim or hero? If yes, pause congratulations on your awareness. It's time to step out of that story. Instead of saying, my team never takes initiative, try, how can I create an environment where they naturally step up? Or instead of listening to an employee say, I can't do my job because leadership won't support me, ask them, what action can you take to change this number two, empowerment over rescue mode. If you're always jumping in to fix things, you're training your team to be helpless and oh my gosh, was I guilty of this early on in my entrepreneurial journey, I had to learn this lesson the hard way. So the very next time someone comes to you with a problem, don't fix it. Ask them, What do you think the solution is, or what's one small action you can take? Right now, if you do this consistently, and they start to realize that you're not going to be the hero. Watch how this changes everything in the business. Number three, clear expectations over chaos. The best way to eliminate all this drama, make sure everyone knows exactly what owning their zone looks like. No rescuing support, but don't do it for them. No blaming. Focus on what's next, not who's at fault and no helplessness. Take Action, any action, and move forward. When you shift from fear to flow, everything changes. A couple weeks ago, we talked about fear based leadership versus flow based leadership, and then last. Week, we talked about unleashing genius, and this is really an extension of those two conversations. When you shift from fear to flow driven teams start thinking for themselves. Leaders stop micromanaging and rescuing. Problems get solved before they spiral into drama and get out of control. And that's how you build a high performance Business. Dr Cartman was right. People get stuck in these roles because they think they're helping themselves. But the best businesses don't have victims. They don't have villains, they don't have heroes. They have people that own their zones. Great businesses are built on autonomy and challenge. So here's my challenge for you, before the weekends, recognize one fear vortex that you're currently trapped in and shift from blame to ownership. That's how you start to build a business where fear isn't the driver autonomy is. So go ahead and get to work. Thank you for joining me today. If you found this episode valuable, I'm going to ask you to take a moment right now and pay a small fee share this episode with a fellow entrepreneur, perhaps one that's trapped in the vortex of fear, and leave a five star review so that we can continue our rapid growth here at flow driven until next week. This is Dr Dave, reminding you to stay focused and flow driven.