How We Survive Each Other’s Fitness Goals as a Married Couple (And Still Like Each Other)

Supporting Fitness Goals with Your Spouse | Rolling with the Dolans

In this episode of Rolling with the Dolans, Patrick and Tamekia Dolan share their insights on supporting each other's fitness goals within a marriage. As a blended and interracial family, they offer a unique take on how mutual support can enhance both fitness journeys and the relationship itself. They discuss the fine line between motivation and criticism, sharing personal stories and tips for encouraging your spouse without overstepping boundaries. Tune in for a positive and real conversation on maintaining a healthy relationship and lifestyle.

Key Discussion Points:

• The role of spousal influence on fitness
• Balancing criticism with support
• Supporting individual and shared fitness goals
• Motivating your partner without offending them

Join Patrick and Tamekia for an honest, lighthearted look at how couples can crush fitness goals—together.

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Transcript

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Welcome to Rolling with the Dolans. I'm Patrick Dolan. And I'm Tamekia Dolan. Our podcast focuses on the joys and challenges of blended families, our interracial marriage, parents and children of multiple ages, and the journey of entrepreneurship. We share our daily life experiences with a positive but real perspective. Alright, and today's topic is supporting fitness goals with your spouse. Alright. Let's get started. You ready for it? Absolutely. Okay. And we didn't necessarily plan this out so we can go any different direction with this today. The biggest thing that I wanted to talk about, is do you feel that your spouse should influence significantly what you do when it comes to fitness on a daily basis? I would say yes. And how? I okay, so this gets touchy because for me, I need someone to motivate me, but also call me out when I'm slacking and I feel like you do that, but in a nice way. Not nice very direct way. But some of my clients feel like some of the things that you say could be like really harsh, but for me, I don't take it as harsh. I take it as okay. Overall, like he cares about my health and what is good for me. And I see that as a positive thing, whereas others see it as very negative. Yeah. I think that. We're not afraid of giving feedback. I think it's partly because we're very secure in our relationship, where, we feel it's not a what should I say, not a really negative thing. It's not something that, that we take too personally. It's something that we feel like it's just creative feedback, things like that. Because it's not going to completely influence how you, Perceive me. I think that a lot of times in relationships if somebody says something negative then they're all of a sudden thinking Oh, he or she doesn't want to attack me. Yeah And I think that given how secure we are with our relationship. It makes it easier and we also know that we like we're both open to a little bit of Criticism and like fun. Oh, okay just you know saying things that Do you want to give an example No, I probably don't want to do an example. You don't want to hear a lot of chatter in the comment box. Let me see. Get your fataz. And I'm not going to say which one says that to which person. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. It'll be all in good spirit and we'll point out some of what we see in one another also. But we I mean, like individually, like I'll be like, Oh, critical of myself. I think we're both more critical of each other personally than we are ever saying things critical of the others. You'll say something like, Oh, look at this, and I'll be like, I didn't even notice. If I say, There's cheese on my thighs. You're like, Oh. Where are my glasses? Let me see. I can't find it. No, you were like, Oh, I see a little bit. But I'm not all worked up because at the end of the day you know what I want my body to mostly feel like first and then what I want my body to look like. Which is gorgeous. Oh, okay. Thanks. All right. That's the easy one. Yeah. I feel like I'm going to slide into that and make it, just in case this doesn't go well. I think one of the things that we talked about early on in our relationship, many years ago is, I'm very critical of myself as for I don't know if critical is the word. I have goals of myself and I don't let up those goals. Like I get very upset if I don't meet some of my fitness goals and objectives. And I let her know, let Tamika know right away that I'm not, I Expecting that. Expecting. Yeah. I don't, I don't project, okay, here's what I do for myself, this is what you have to do. I want to support your goals and your achievements that you're looking to do, not, okay, here's my goals, therefore, you must have a goal like mine, and I think that's one thing that's really important. Yeah, you're good at that. Patrick's goal is to run a hundred miles per month, which he has done before me. In our whole relationship and Tamekia runs zero miles per month, right? On average is probably more like 0. 1 for the year. Oh For the year, yeah for the year listen, I Try to do a 5k like once every two years. So if you divide that Anyways, on to the next. So that would be, yeah, one point, yeah, that would be point two, point three. But the main thing is now Tamika is doing Pilates, I think I'm supportive of that. The main thing is, it's gotta be something that you want to do and that you're excited about because, just because I run or just because, I want to go to the gym and do things like that doesn't mean you want to do those things. That's correct. So I think that's the thing is, yeah. To have a healthy relationship and health, like a healthy way to support one another is to make sure that you're supporting their goals, not your goals. That's true. I agree. Alright, what's an example of, okay, so we've already talked about individual goals, so yours would be like, to run 100 miles a month, to run a few marathons a year. That's true. I feel like I'm supportive of that because I don't get in the way of your 100 miles a month. And I go with you to the marathons, right? Every now and then you'll be like why do you have to do that 100 this month? Oh, that's true. That's true. That's because I'm concerned, but Yeah, usually heat related. Why are you going outside to run when it's 105 degrees? Or I do say, you should go to the gym and do it on a treadmill, but you absolutely would not listen to me. Or do something else instead. And I'm like if I take away, 20 miles running, then I have to do 40 miles biking. I mean I think you should continue to do the running, but it doesn't have to be outside in Arizona heat, right? Anyways, and then my individual goal is pilates, right? And you support that And what about couples goals Do we get it? Do we want to get into that detail? You can go ahead Just remember you have to lay next to me tonight. What do you mean, couple of schools? What kind of fitness goals do we have together? Oh, that was a long pause. Anyways, we did one yesterday. What did we do? When we went to the pool? Yeah, that was a fitness goal. Yeah, I have a bit of a program that I do at the pool, and you joined me. I joined you. Why? Because it was low impact. And it was a nice day out. I did that with you. That could be a new couple's goal. Anytime going to the pool with you is a, not necessarily effort. Okay. Alright. And then, another question that I wrote is, how to motivate your partner without offending them? Just plan a trip. Just oh, we're going to go on a trip, and then next thing you know, Patrick will be doing a lot more to try to get in shape. Because you know that motivates me. That's true. That's true. What would motivate you? What do I need to do? I don't know. Because I don't like working out. But you've been really good at going to Pilates. What's motivating you to do that now? Because I'm almost 50 and I'm just concerned about my body falling apart. Okay. So what's the bottom line of this, conversation? So the main thing is, I think supporting one another, encouraging one another, having fun with it without trying to take offense to it. Try to, and then making sure that everybody has their own goals and not expecting the other person to have your goals. I totally agree. Yes. Okay, we wrap this up? Absolutely. We summarized it. Until the next time, make sure you forward this on to others. You like us, and then subscribe. And you didn't say comment. Oh yeah, definitely want to hear your feedback and your stories. And the intent is to try to get more involved with everybody and try to talk about things. Not just here, but beyond these actual recordings. Yes. Alright, until next time, have an amazing day. Have a wonderful week. Have a tremendous week. Tremendously good week. Yeah, tremendously good week. And a glorious day. Glorious, ooh. Alright, until next time. Thanks, bye.