Empathy vs. Sympathy: What’s the Difference and How to Manage Empathy Without Burnout

What’s the real difference between empathy and sympathy—and why does it matter in everyday life? In this episode of Rollin With the Dolans, Patrick and Tamekia get real about the emotional challenges of caring deeply, especially when you're a parent, spouse, entrepreneur, or just someone who feels everything.

We explore:

• What empathy really means (and how it's different from sympathy)
• Why empathy can be both a gift and a burden
• How to set healthy boundaries without shutting people out
• The role of faith in protecting your emotional health
• Real-life stories from work, parenting, and marriage

If you've ever felt emotionally drained from carrying other people’s pain—or confused about what to do with your big heart—this one’s for you.

🙏 Stay grounded, stay kind, and stay rollin’.
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Transcript

🎙️ Rollin With the Dolans Podcast

Episode Topic: Empathy – The Gift, The Challenge, The Boundaries

Patrick: Welcome to Rollin With the Dolans. I'm Patrick Dolan.

Tamekia: And I'm Tamekia Dolan.

Patrick: Our podcast focuses on the joys and challenges of blending families, our interracial marriage, parenting children of multiple ages, and the journey of entrepreneurship. We share our daily life experiences with a positive but real perspective.

💬 What Is Empathy?

Patrick: All right, and today's topic is empathy.

Tamekia: Empathy! So, what is it and how do we deal with it?

Patrick: Okay. Do you wanna start?

Tamekia: Why don’t you start by giving us a formal definition of what empathy is?

Patrick: Okay, so this is what you wrote down—and it’s from Webster’s Dictionary. Empathy is, "The action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of others."

Tamekia: You can vigorously do that too!

Patrick: Yeah, you're right. Vigorously experience that feels—yeah, that’s true.

Tamekia: But vicariously, yeah. So there’s another definition I found that I liked—from the American Psychological Association. It says, "Empathy is understanding a person from their frame of reference rather than one's own, or vicariously experiencing that person’s feelings, perceptions, and thoughts."

🤔 Empathy vs. Sympathy

Tamekia: So recently we had a conversation about empathy, and I always get empathy and sympathy confused.

Patrick: Yeah, definitely. So sometimes we debate the difference between empathy and sympathy.

Tamekia: One thing I found is that empathy involves deeply understanding and sharing another person’s feelings by mentally placing yourself in their situation. It requires an emotional and cognitive connection. Sympathy entails knowledge of another person’s hardships—but you don’t necessarily have to be empathetic to be sympathetic.

Patrick: Right. Empathy isn’t just about an event. With sympathy, you might say, “You just lost your job,” or “Someone passed away.” You’re sympathetic. With empathy, it could be like, “You're stressed today,” or, “You have so much going on with your kids.” That’s more about feeling it with them.

Patrick: What I’ve said before—and we can get into some personal stuff now—is Tamekia is one of the most sympathetic people I’ve ever met. Probably the most. And you're also the most empathetic for people that you can relate to emotionally.

Tamekia: Wait—I thought you said I was lacking in one of those?

Patrick: I think you’re empathetic for things you understand. For example, you’re super empathetic toward single mothers struggling with kids, bills, and housing. But anxiety? You don’t really experience that, so it’s harder to empathize.

Tamekia: So, I have empathy—but maybe not sympathy?

Patrick: No, you have both. Sympathy is more universal—you always feel bad for someone if something bad happens, like a death or a broken leg. But empathy is more like putting yourself emotionally in their shoes.

🪞When Empathy Becomes a Burden

Tamekia: Okay. I want to tell you about a situation I had at work one day. I posted on my Instagram that having the gift of empathy can sometimes be a gift and a curse. You know what I meant by that?

Patrick: Absolutely. It's a double-edged sword. Understanding people deeply can lead to emotional burdens.

Tamekia: Yep. So how can I avoid those emotional burdens?

Patrick: One word. Take a guess.

Tamekia: Ignore? Ignore people?

Patrick: Boundaries.

Tamekia: Oh! Okay. So if I’m in the salon and someone’s telling me all their stuff, how do I set a boundary?

Patrick: Don’t try to fix everything. You already have a lot on your plate. Instead of fixing, maybe just listen. You don’t have to carry it all emotionally.

Tamekia: That makes sense. I try to talk them through things, not necessarily fix them—but yeah, I still get emotionally involved. It’s hard when you care about your clients.

Patrick: Yeah, and it’s like being a therapist. Therapists have to listen without letting it weigh them down at home. That’s the challenge.

Tamekia: I’ve been doing this for 30 years, and I still haven’t figured it out. Boundaries. I need to get better.

⚖️ Balancing Empathy and Self-Care

Tamekia: Let me ask you a question—how do you balance empathy and self-care?

Patrick: Boundaries again. I had a close friend years ago. I kept trying to help, kept getting involved emotionally. Eventually I had to say, “I can’t do this. I need to focus on my family and my job.” You can only plug so many holes before your own ship sinks.

Tamekia: That’s true. I feel like I’m still working on that part.

Patrick: Yeah, and I think you are more likely than me now to get emotionally involved.

Tamekia: Probably. I still struggle with drawing that line.

🙏 Empathy and Faith

Tamekia: Okay, one more question. How has your faith guided you in managing the challenges of deep empathetic connections?

Patrick: I’m trying to build my faith more—so I can set better boundaries and put my trust in God. It’s not easy to do, but I try to trust that God will help guide those people. I don’t have to fix everything.

Tamekia: You mean guiding them toward having a better relationship with God?

Patrick: Yeah. I don’t always have to say it directly, but I can trust God will work in their lives.

Tamekia: For me, I need to get better at praying for people—and then just leaving it at the altar. That’s something I’m working on.

Patrick: That’s a good point. I need to learn from that. I don’t always turn to prayer immediately, but I should. Praying with them is powerful, too.

Tamekia: And if they want more, we can always invite them to church with us.

🧠 Final Thoughts

Tamekia: I just feel like empathy is needed. There are so many people struggling. We need to be open and listen, but also set boundaries—so empathy doesn’t become a burden.

Patrick: I think that’s right. The advice is: don’t let empathy overwhelm you. Focus on yourself. Use faith and prayer. Set boundaries. Guide, don’t carry.

Tamekia: Yep, I agree.

🙌 Wrap-Up

Patrick: Thanks for listening today. We’ll cover this topic again in the future and go deeper into how to handle it all. In the meantime, wherever you found this podcast, we invite you to join the discussion—on our website, YouTube, or social.

Tamekia: Until next time, have a…

Patrick: I would say a tremendous day.

Tamekia: A spectacular week.

Patrick: A bright day.

Tamekia & Patrick: Bye!