Letting Holiday Traditions Bend Without Losing the Joy

In this episode of Rollin’ with the Dolans, Patrick and Tamekia talk about holiday traditions, why flexibility matters, and how being too rigid can lead to disappointment instead of joy. They share a real example of how changing their Thanksgiving plans led to a relaxed and meaningful experience, even though it looked very different from past years.

They also discuss holiday blues, post-holiday letdowns, and the pressure many people feel to keep traditions exactly the same, even when life, energy levels, or family dynamics change. The conversation encourages listeners to give themselves permission to pivot, create new moments, and focus on connection rather than expectations.

Whether your holidays are full, quiet, busy, or completely different than planned, this episode is a reminder that joy often comes from flexibility, not perfection.

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Transcript

Welcome to Rollin’ with the Dolans. I’m Patrick Dolan.
 And I’m Tamekia Dolan.

Our podcast focuses on the joys and challenges of blending families, our interracial marriage, parenting children of multiple ages, and our journey of entrepreneurship. We share our daily life experiences with a positive but real perspective.

And today’s topic is Tamekia’s outfit.
 Oh, okay. Maybe not.

But really, what is today’s topic?

You choose.

I think we should talk about how it’s okay to change the traditions that you have for holidays.

Oh, that’s a good one.

Yeah. So like this Thanksgiving, our tradition was completely changed so that we could start creating a new tradition.

Yeah, I think traditions in general are a good one. I think flexibility is part of it because especially this time of year, people will, there’s definitely the holiday blues. And if you’re not flexible and not looking for opportunities, you’ll end up being depressed rather than enjoying things.

What is the definition of holiday blues?

It’s typically where people actually feel worse during the holidays instead of better.

Okay. Do you have holiday blues afterwards?

Sometimes post-holiday, that’s a little different. I’ll be like, oh, I miss the holidays. Because it seems to me like basically a little bit before Thanksgiving up until New Year’s, a lot of people are more excited, more friendly, and everything just seems a little more relaxed.

I agree.

Okay. And I wish we could do that basically 365 days out of the year.

All right, so let’s talk about how our Thanksgiving normally is.

Okay, go ahead.

Do you want me to explain it, or you?

Yeah, you can explain it.

So normally we host because we have 50 kids and grandkids, so normally we host. But this year, we did not host and we did not have 50 kids. It was only two kids, Patrick, and me.

So what did we decide to do?

We went to a movie and went out to dinner.

So at first, one of the kids actually, I think both of them, were like, oh my goodness, it’s going to be boring. It’s just the two of us.

But then they ended up really liking it.

Yeah, I think they were more concerned about the movie you picked.

Oh, okay.

But it was a good movie.

It was very good. It was called Rental Family.

Yeah, Rental Family.

So we went to the movie. That was pretty relaxed. Then came home, reset, relaxed for a little bit, and then went out to dinner.

So our 15-year-old really enjoyed it because she loves getting dressed up and going to fancy places for dinner. And it’s one of my favorite places.

What did you think about it?

Yeah, I liked it. I enjoyed it. I think it was a nice, relaxed night.

Just to add, one of the reasons why we did it was because we had a lot of people in town for the wedding just prior.

Oh yeah, that’s huge.

We were just winding down rather than trying to ramp back up.

Yeah, that’s huge to say. And that is the reason that we did not want to host, because we were just burnt out.

During the wedding, our 21-year-old got married. So during the wedding, how many people were in the house?

Oh, we had, I don’t know, 15? It seemed like it.

Yeah, it was a lot. A lot happening.

Peak was probably 15 plus, and we were still working.

So we were like, okay, we don’t want to host. Let’s come up with a plan B.

And actually, once you break down the cost, to me it’s smarter to go out to dinner, right?

Yep.

But what do you think about the idea that since we’ve never done it before, some people think you shouldn’t be making people work on Thanksgiving?

Oh my goodness. Please.

First of all, people get paid either time and a half or double time to work on holidays. And some people, from my experience with my clients, actually prefer to work on holidays.

One guy was telling me he doesn’t like the holidays. He considers them pagan holidays. So he prefers to work, make more money, and stay busy.

And that gets back to the holiday blues. Some people, not everybody, but some people really struggle during the holidays.

I’m sure there are people who don’t want to work that day and feel like they have to, but there are also a lot of people who want that option.

And then again, there are a lot of people who don’t want to work any day.

Just giving people options isn’t terrible.

I’ve worked plenty of holidays when I was younger, whether in restaurants or retail. A lot of times, I actually liked it because people had different attitudes.

I remember working in a beer and wine store in Maryland during Thanksgiving rushes. The volume was tremendous, but people were in better moods.

I never thought, why do I have to work? It was just part of life.

Yeah. I didn’t feel bad. I feel like they probably made more in gratuity.

That’s true. Our waitress was super nice.

Did you expect that many people?

Oh geez, that place was packed.

Did you expect that many?

Yeah, and it was Cooper’s Hawk. That place was so crowded.

Tamekia asked if it was always that crowded on weekends, and the waitress said yes. We usually don’t go on weekends because of crowds.

But it was a nice experience. And it comes back to it’s what you make out of it.

One thing I did still do was the 10-miler run in the morning.

Yeah, that’s still your tradition.

Yeah. You make your own traditions. They can be new every year.

But the main thing is do something.

Yeah. I think people struggle to pivot because they think, oh, we have to do this, we have to cook the huge turkey, we have to do all the things.

Once I released all of that and realized I didn’t want to be in the kitchen, especially since we had just done that the week before, it was nice to have a break.

We did do dessert though, which was nice. We came home, had dessert, and relaxed.

It’s being set in your ways. If you’re rigid and not flexible, it makes things more disappointing if they don’t go as planned.

I’ve mentioned this on previous podcasts. I can get that way. I’ll have a vision of how things should go, and if they don’t, it can be upsetting.

Yeah. So being flexible and enjoying the people around you is huge. Or if you’re alone that day, try to get around other people.

Even if you’re not interacting much, just being around people helps. Run a race, go to an event, just get out.

Yeah, I agree.

So what about Christmas? What are we doing for Christmas?

We’ll probably go back to hosting. After the wedding and being gone last Christmas, we’ll be home this year.

Oh yeah, we were in Florida last Christmas.

So this year we’ll be home, chill. Hopefully my best friend comes, and we can cook together, hang out, watch movies.

I’m excited about being lazy for a few days, watching movies, making dessert.

We’ll see.

Which part?

We’ll see. Things could change.

That’s true. It’s still a few weeks away. Things could pivot.

Yep.

All right. Thanks for listening today. Wherever you found us, make sure to like us, favorite us, whatever buttons you have to click.

We like to be involved with people and love the comments. We want this to be interactive, so feel free to chime in.

Until next time, have a glorious week.

Ooh, glorious.

Okay, have a beautiful week, everyone.

Thanks. Bye-bye.