Just For The Day
Just For The Day
#25 - September 11, 2025 - Charlie Kirk and 9/11
In addition to our NA Daily Reader, Jay and Diane reflect on two significant events: the recent assassination of Charlie Kirk and the anniversary of September 11th, examining how proximity to violence shapes our emotional responses and challenges our resilience.
They discuss how psychological flexibility allows us to bend without breaking when facing life's challenges, which come from three sources: our own actions, others' actions, and simply the nature of mortal existence
Question: How do you stay flexible in your recovery. In what ways do you still see rigidity in your reactions to life?
Jay and Diane's Just For The Day podcast is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by Just for Today, any 12-Step program, or any other recovery-based product or organization. They should not replace your regular group or sponsor meetings.
The views expressed are solely those of the hosts and guests. Take what you like and leave the rest.
Welcome back to another episode of Just for the Day. I'm Jay and I'm a recovering addict.
Speaker 2:I'm Diane and I'm codependent, and today is September 11th. In memorial of this day, instead of doing the reading, I wanted to focus a little bit on September 11th, but we also have to discuss what happened yesterday.
Speaker 2:That's right um, the headline I'm going to read here. Charlie kirk, the executive director of turning point usa, was shot at about 12 10 pm local time while appearing at an event at the utah valley university. In video posts circulating on social media he can be seen struck while speaking and sitting behind beneath a tent. It was, it was a full stadium, it was an outdoor event and it was packed with people who supported him and people who are showing up to debate him yep, he was slain and so I think we need to discuss those two things.
Speaker 2:Which one do you want to tackle?
Speaker 1:first, I'll start with the news, charlie kirk, you know, regardless of what you think or feel about people with differing opinions, and there is something really horrifying when you get to the point that people deem it okay at least some people and other people online who would comment on this, saying that this was warranted that the death, that a person can be killed for their beliefs and what they say.
Speaker 2:Some of the words that he said have been bent to say oh, he had it coming.
Speaker 1:That's right. That's right, that's horrifying.
Speaker 2:It is horrifying.
Speaker 1:What are your? What are your? I mean, do you want to just process your reactions? I have a series of mixed emotions. You know. I feel tremendously sad for him and his family. I also feel whether you agree with right wing media or not I feel a genuine loss for the perspective on that side, on that side, you know it's. It's a sad day when any voice is silenced, and his voice was silenced today, regardless of what side he found himself on what aisle and, uh, I'm also sickened that.
Speaker 1:you know we live in a society where there's a group of people that believe that it's worth it to kill people.
Speaker 2:It's a vigilante.
Speaker 2:For you you don't, if you don't believe in what they say, and that saddens me, that our society is to that point, and I think that's evidence of things to come, of of new dangers in the world, of uh, of of things that are horrendous because of that belief, and it makes me really sad all right, well, we have tickets for an event that he was supposed to be holding within the next month, and uh, so we bought those tickets and I was excited and I told all my friends that we were going and then, when the shotting, the shooting, happened today, they all reached out to me to ask if I was there and I wasn't.
Speaker 2:But, um, it's very, it's very traumatic. It's traumatic for, obviously, the people that are there, but when the news of someone's death affects so deeply so many people that never met him, you know he was a powerful force and it actually reminded me of yesterday. One of the things we were talking about was addictions, and we were talking about how a lot of people have a very negative view of addictive personalities. But we said you know, there's, there is a positive to addictive personalities. If you can channel it appropriately, that's right.
Speaker 2:Then you've got that passion, you've got that drive, you've got that obsession and it can be an incredible thing yeah charlie kirk definitely said things that are controversial and I think that most people that are memorializing him will say I, I agreed with a lot of what he said, or I disagreed with it, or whatever. Most people won't say they agreed with everything, but I I think that charlie kirk had some skills in being able to recall facts historical and scientific facts and to be able to think quickly on the spot, and he had the personality to invite open discussion.
Speaker 1:Which is something the country needs.
Speaker 2:Which is something the country needs Desperately. In Al-Anon and in our programs, we learn how to listen, we learn not to cross talk. We let people share their story and we don't give advice and we don't tell people how to live. We share our stories and we try to gain strength and hope from each other and I think a lot of society has lost that. I think a lot of society has lost that. I think a lot of society speaks before they listen. They feel over facts, and I don't think that necessarily. I don't think emotions are bad, I wouldn't demonize emotions but I think that a lot of people are so easily offended or so quick to anger that they're not able to stop and think Right and hear things they don't want to hear. Right.
Speaker 2:And that's kind of the society that we've created and, in a way, these recovery programs that we represent when we're doing this podcast and these pro recovery programs that have made such a difference in our lives. They're teaching skills that everybody needs because our society has lost the ability to listen and learn yeah, which essentially means they're going to learn from pain.
Speaker 1:I think it's. It's weird that the next day is september 11th and well, obviously, we're giving this podcast on that day. But you know, september 11th, um, when the twin Towers were struck, and what was it? How many, I don't remember. I should have looked up how many people it was. It's somewhat 3,000, 3,400 people. Oh, I have the numbers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have the numbers right here. Some statistics about September 11th. The total number of victims, not including the 19 hijackers, was 2,977. So just shy of 3,000. At the World Trade Center it was 2,753. At the Pentagon it was 184. Near Pennsylvania, there were 40 deaths and first responders that were killed. There was 343 firefighters, 23 New York police officers and 37 Port Authority police.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so close to almost 3,500 people. Yeah, you know, obviously a horrendous day and a terrifying thing to happen on American soil, which is what America got so up in arms. We haven't had that type of a tragedy. It shook us up Right, got so up in arms. We haven't had that type of a tragedy. It shook us up right um.
Speaker 1:The reality of it, though, is is that that type of violence leads to tremendous more violence in the, in the lives that were lost in the war, in the ensuing war, and it feels although this is you know, charlie kirk is one man you know, and and tensions have been brewing, but you know, you know it's, it's harrowing to think of the dangers that actual hatred for a group can have, can have in between people, and that war can have, and and it's, it's scarce, it's scary to think and and I, I, I have sorrow for Charlie Kirk's life and I have sorrow for all the people who have lost their lives in September 11th, as well as those in the ensuing war, and and all the people in the wars today and the time that we live. It's a sad time that we live in a, in a world that accepts, that tolerates, human life loss over such trivial things like freedom of speech or land or, um, that people can be so offended that they have murder in their hearts.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's an awful thing, and I think that it also a lot of the feelings that they have murder in their hearts.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's an awful thing, and I think that it also a lot of the feelings that we have are for his family. He is a very. He was only 31 years old. He's a baby, 31 years old, with babies and a young wife at home, and you know that's that's crazy. You know the family was christian. They were fighting a cause and part of the cause was, you know they were, they were on the representing the Republican Party and they were trying to, you know, help people come to that side of their political sphere. But a lot of what he talked about was Christianity. A lot of what he talked about was his relationship with his higher power. He called it God.
Speaker 2:But having that higher power and using that higher power in your life as you assess your morals, as you choose what you're going to do with your life, he was trying to bring people closer to God as well, and so a lot of people, a lot of people have talked about him as a martyr, and when someone is a martyr, usually their platform doesn't end with them. No, people will pick up the cause. It could just be a sample of what we've already been experiencing in America, but it could also maybe be the turning point of this has got to stop. It's got to stop.
Speaker 1:It's probably a little bit all that.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So then the other thing obviously we're very sad about the Charlie Kirk assassination and the impact that that has on freedom of speech and on open dialogue between political parties. Obviously, we don't talk politics too much when we're in meetings. We've decided to talk this a little bit because it's such a big event. But it's also September 11th and that was a really.
Speaker 2:I think that for me, that was one of the biggest emotional experiences I had in my young adulthood. I can remember a few very strong experiences. The death of Princess Diana was a big one for me. There were some big events that I was just like, oh wow. Death of john candy was big, that was more recent, but um, but the, the towers was shocking, and I think what made it shocking was the feeling that I'm not safe. At the time that the towers fell I was living in Ottawa, canada, which is the capital city of Canada. So knowing that the United States was under attack, canada is was so close to the United States, in proximity but also in their relationship that there was that fear that are they going to attack us? And if they attack us, it's going to be in Ottawa and it would be where we are and that to feel unsafe in your home is a scary experience. Yeah it is.
Speaker 1:I'm torn about it. I remember what that felt like, and yet it is. I'm torn about it. I remember what that felt like. And yet my reaction now as an adult. Looking back is how privileged we are that we don't have to do that regularly. Recently talking to some ukrainian immigrants in canada and they were describing to me the experiences, that of what it was like to live under constant attack, and they described that they would go to bed at night not knowing if they would wake up the next morning and at first this was very scary and eventually it just became second nature, and it wasn't until they moved away and immigrated to canada that they felt freedom, uh, and and peace.
Speaker 1:And I, I think it's, I feel a tremendous amount of gratitude for, for living in a country that my children don't have to fear, that I don't have to fear, and it's a, it's a, so it's both a. It's both a harrowing memory for me of the destruction and the death and also a signal of how privileged we are where we live.
Speaker 2:Well, that was, I think, the first awakening that that that kind of experience could happen here. And that was terrifying because it kind of opened that door of it being possible here. And it was a very extreme experience that took a lot of lives and happened so instantaneously and no one was prepared for it. And it was a very extreme experience that took a lot of lives and happened so instantaneously and no one was prepared for it and it was shocking. And yet I don't necessarily feel the amount of privilege that you mentioned, because there are so many deaths happening every day in the United States.
Speaker 2:And we maybe don't worry that our planes are going to get shot down anymore or crash oh, totally different scenario but but we worry that schools could be shot up and we worry that our kids, you know, could be shot up and we worry that our kids, you know, could be going to drive to a party and be stabbed so that someone can steal their car, like these are things that are happening, that it didn't happen when we were kids. When we were kids, there was that that threat of you could be abducted. That, I think, was the most scary thing and it and it was so not prevalent that it was kind of that fear that people use to control their kids don't go off too far, stay in together, whatever because you could be abducted, yeah yeah, and we just didn't have the same fears that we have today yeah, and now this act of violence.
Speaker 2:It's scary.
Speaker 1:It is scary.
Speaker 2:Because it could happen anywhere.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and for some reason it's interesting. For some reason it's interesting how close it hits to home. When it hits closer to home, how much more impactful it is. You know, there's an interesting like proximity to death has a large impact on its import in your life, you know, and the fact that this was closer to home makes a difference. When it's farther away doesn't matter as much. It's fascinating.
Speaker 2:Well, and I'm seeing the parallel with addictions that the closer it is to home, the more damaging it is, the more impact it has. I grew up with aunts and uncles who were addicts, who were alcoholics. I grew up with lots of neighbors and friends who drank heavily daily and it didn't really impact me. I didn't have alcohol in my home growing up, but when my husband started having alcohol issues then it affected me because it was closer because it was closer.
Speaker 2:And when extreme events occur in our lives, whether they're things like an assassination attempt or a robbery or a school shooting or attempt or a robbery or a school shooting, or my husband losing his job because he passed out at work those things they really, they really hit home when they're close to you and I think that you can't understate the impact that that these things have on people. Yeah, so the reading today is an interesting reading. I don't know it doesn't necessarily go with it, but it kind of does, because the topic is bend with the wind.
Speaker 1:The quote is we learn to become flexible. As new things are revealed, we feel renewed.
Speaker 2:Flexibility was not a part of the vocabulary we used in our using days. We'd become obsessed with the raw pleasure of our drugs and hardened to all the softer, subtler, more infinitely varied pleasures of the world around us. Our disease had turned life itself into a constant threat of jails, institution and death, a threat against which we hardened ourselves all the more. In the end, we became brittle With the merest breath of life's wind. We crumbled at last, broken, defeated, with no choice but to surrender.
Speaker 1:But the beautiful irony of recovery is that in our surrender, we found the flexibility we had lost in our addiction, the very lack of which had defeated us. We regained the ability to bend in life's breeze without breaking. When the wind blew, we felt its loving caress against our skin, where once we would have hardened ourselves as if against the onrush of a storm.
Speaker 2:The winds of life blow new airs our way each moment and with them new fragrances, new pleasures, varied, subtly different. As we bend with life's wind, we feel and hear and touch and smell and taste all it has to offer us. And as new winds blow, we feel renewed.
Speaker 1:Just for today. Higher power, help me bend with life's wind and glory in its passing. Free me from rigidity.
Speaker 2:There's something to be said for flexibility and for being malleable. Our higher power will guide us and help us when we're malleable, but when we're too hardened, too set in our ways, then it feels like it's breaking us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's a common term in the mental health space that's called psychological flexibility, which is the idea to roll with the punches and not break. And the more rigid you are, the more impact. Something that unexpectedly happens is going to hurt, but if you can bounce and flex with it, you're likely to absorb some of the impact and shock. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:So I see that here, as well, as a key component of recovery is being ready to see life's struggles and move with them, rather against them or resist them that come to us with very firm set opinions and ideas, or we can take them, take the new information, amalgamate it and figure out how to work with it.
Speaker 2:We've been talking the last few days. I've been talking with my kids about challenges and how challenges come in our lives, usually as a result of three things. One I bring them on myself. Those are things that I make a decision, I do something. Maybe I don't make a decision, maybe I just react, but I do something and there's a natural consequence to what I do and it becomes a challenge for me. The second one is the challenges that are brought on by other people. When other people's actions affect me in my life, I have to figure out how to respond to that. It's different than when I'm bringing on my own responses and my own challenges. There's almost a I kind of deserve what I bring on myself.
Speaker 2:I made my bed. I'll sleep in it, but a lot of times in life the challenges we experience are because somebody else was thoughtless, careless, hurtful, and we then are collateral damage to their actions. But there was a third one, and the third one was just mortal experience. There are challenges that come because that is life and that is the riding, the wave, that is the rolling with the punches, that is the recognizing that we can't control everything. Life will always throw us curveballs, and what are we going to do when those curveballs come at us?
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I think there's. To think that the things that we bring upon ourselves and that others bring upon us through collateral damage is any different is actually a little silly, because the reality is, we're all sitting in this life of pain and misery, and the choice is whether to make good things of it or to make worse things of it, and so people's actions are reactions to other things in their lives, and it reminds me of a quote that's coming to mind is a man who Blames, blames himself.
Speaker 1:Or a man who blames his brother has a long way to go. A man who blames himself is halfway there and a man who blames no one has already arrived. You know life is you'll continue, but you're basically going to continue to have pain and suffering so long as you blame and point the finger, and once you can let go and just everything just gets much easier. Stop resisting it, stop making it worse.
Speaker 2:Yeah, kicking against the pricks, yes, yes. And I think with any of those experiences whether it's stuff you've brought on yourself, else has inflicted it upon you, or just life being life the ways that you deal with it are very similar. Do you rely and trust on a higher power, that they're there for you, to support you, to guide your path? Do you see the opportunity for growth? Do you focus on the positive and the good things that you have, or do you focus on the negative things? And whatever it is, there are ways to handle it that will be more flexible, that will be more beneficial to you in the long run.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know one of the things that does remind me of, for what's going on with the news and with Charlie Kirk. There are a lot of people calling for the death of the assailant, and I can't help think that that's just blood for blood.
Speaker 2:Eye for an eye.
Speaker 1:And you know that people think, people trick themselves into thinking that one wrong will right another, and it never does.
Speaker 2:Everyone I know that has taken a life has regretted it.
Speaker 1:I'm excited to talk to you about who you know that's taken a life. News to me.
Speaker 2:It's not something that is to be taken lightly. So, just for today, help me bend with life's wind and glory in its passing. Free me from rigidity.
Speaker 1:Thanks for joining us.
Speaker 2:We'll talk with you tomorrow.
