Episode 145: Peeking Into 2025 With Intention NOT Resolution.

As we navigated the roller coaster of 2024, we found ourselves reflecting on the resilience and gratitude that have become cornerstones of our journey. From the heartache of loss to the overwhelming stress of global uncertainty, each moment taught us invaluable lessons about growth and confidence. Channeling the spirit of Groundhog's Day, we measure our progress not by the absence of challenges but by the gratitude we find in the journey itself, embracing the inevitable stress as a catalyst for personal and professional evolution.

Our discussion takes a turn as we explore the power of intention and accountability. By shedding habits that no longer serve us—like self-loathing and negativity—we create space for self-love and personal growth. We draw inspiration from a couple on the brink of retirement, discovering that financial freedom isn't just about saving, but about living intentionally and investing in experiences that yield lifelong "memory dividends." Investments in experiences are forgotten costs. This approach challenges the traditional financial mindset and invites us to reimagine our priorities as we prepare for 2025.

Embracing personal growth becomes our anthem as we look to the future. Through tools like CliftonStrengths, we uncover the profound impact of self-awareness on our interactions and relationships. By understanding our strengths and limitations, we show up more authentically, balancing empathy (Matthew) and responsibility (Jim). As our journey into "whole wealth" unfolds, we are excited to share candid stories, insights, and new for 2025, book reviews and even a few industry rants, all with the aim of empowering you to embrace your own path of growth and self-discovery.

Chapter Summaries:
(00:00) Reflections on Gratitude and Resilience
Gratitude and reflection during the holiday season, navigating challenges and expressing growth and confidence in wealth management and health.

(03:45) Measuring Progress With Gratitude
Nature's predictable yet changing nature in starting a new year, reflecting on progress, setting goals, and enhancing impact.

(13:56) Embracing Intention and Accountability
Rejecting negative habits and setting intentions for intentional living, including finances, to promote self-love and growth.

(25:40) Reimagining Retirement and Financial Priorities
Bill Perkins' "Die With Zero" challenges traditional financial advising, emphasizing intentional spending for meaningful experiences.

(39:47) Personal Responsibility and Self-Care
Balancing personal authenticity and professional responsibilities, using CliftonStrengths, self-care, breaking free from beliefs, and putting oneself first.

(46:35) Embracing Personal Growth in 2025
CliftonStrengths, personal growth, empathy, responsibility, adaptability, whole wealth, book reviews, personal rants, guest appearances, authentic narrative, valuable insights.

You can learn more about The Whole Wealth Journey by visiting The Gebhardt Group. You can follow us on Instagram @thewholewealthjourney

Transcript

Matthew Grishman: [00:00:00] you know, another little sneak peek and preview of something we're going to be doing and talking about more next year in the show in 2025. And I'm going to kick it off with a little rant right now is that there are whatever, 250 or 300, 000 people like us, not like us, but get it right. Get it right.

Licensed to there's two like us. Yeah. Right. Two like us. The point being is that if there are 300 or so thousand licensed financial advisors on planet earth who all, you know, kind of call themselves something a little different or specialize in something a little different at the end of the day, the majority of them really specialize in helping people prepare for retirement.

Yes. Agreed. 

Jim Gebhardt: Which may never come. Welcome to the whole

wealth journey. Wealth with a Y. What does that [00:01:00] mean? What does that mean? Are we spelling it funny? Uh, no, I think we're using the word. Why 

Matthew Grishman: the word? Why not the letter? Why the actual word? Why? 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, I know why. Why? Because we want to help people get on their path. Then the path is all about their why. 

Matthew Grishman: And it's about aligning your finances with the people, the experience and the passions that give their lives true meaning.

Jim Gebhardt: It's getting way beyond the bank statements, the brokerage statements, the trust documents, the life insurance. And taking a deeper dive into your why. 

Matthew Grishman: Well, admittedly, we're not for everyone. This is different. We're for the bold ones who really want to dive deeper and seek a life that resonates with who they really are at their core.

Who finds value in vulnerability? 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, you and 

Matthew Grishman: I do. 

Jim Gebhardt: You and I do, and that's where we want to play. But not everybody is comfortable with that vulnerability. 

Matthew Grishman: Maybe we should introduce ourselves. What do you think? Oh, that's a good idea. Jim Gebhardt. And I'm Matthew [00:02:00] Grishman. We are the co creators of the podcast, The Whole Wealth Journey.

Ready to find your why? Then let's get started and get you one step closer to unlocking your inner wealth and well being.

Jim Gebhardt: I spent some time the last few days in Gratitude Land. And so do you. Certainly given the, you know, the Thanksgiving season and now we're deep into the Amazon prime seas. I mean, Christmas consumption. Oh, absolutely. Giving, gifting, spending, whatever you want to call it. And given our curriculum and all that goes into the holidays.

And one of our favorite themes we'll talk about later is sponsored by one of the credit card companies. I spent a lot of time just reflecting. This is always a very reflective time of year for me. Yeah. It's not usually with a lot of sadness. There has been certainly some sadness this year. And the loss of, you know, one of my dearest friend's sons tragically just kind of didn't wake up one [00:03:00] morning.

But the gratitude that I have this year when I, if you, if you can stop and you, and you go back to the beginning of the year. And as we approach the year, and I, I haven't listened to any of our episodes from let's say January. But you and I know full well the amount of stress that was in the system.

Clients, friends, family. The worry, the stress, the fear of the election, the unknown of the election, the unknown of the capital markets, of interest rates, of geopolitical blah, blah, blah, blah, right? And while it all hasn't gone, you know, smoothly, perfectly, ideally, whatever you want to say, I just have a tremendous amount of gratitude for how you and I have navigated through all of that at the helm of not just.

Our audience here on the show, but also with our families, with our clients, with our communities. And every time we go through one of these, [00:04:00] these episodes of stress, I can't tell you how much more confidence I feel on the other side of it. And personally, just selfishly personally. So this, this holiday season, I just, I look back with so much gratitude on 2024 for the year of that was maximum stress, but certainly in.

In, in the world of our business, in the world of wealth management, it was a lovely summer day with the wind at our back, unexpectedly, by the way. 

Matthew Grishman: Sure. I was kind of wondering which year we were in because it feels like you and I have been riding around in the DeLorean for a little while and that beautiful thought about gratitude that you just shared could have kicked off 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, Almost every year that we've done the show, you literally could have capped off the year by describing January exactly the way you just did.

That there was stress in the room, there was [00:05:00] uncertainty in the room, there was angst in the room, and yet here we are at the end of the year, feeling a whole bunch of gratitude about January. Getting to the other side, whatever that might look like 

Jim Gebhardt: and getting, getting to the other side. I mean, you know, I, I would also reflect on my own health journey in 2024 and the unbelievable progress I've made in restructuring, reframing, redesigning my, my physical fitness, my mental fitness, my nutritional habits, and how somehow I come to, to think at times that the stress obviously must serve us.

Oh, because we keep doing it, right? I mean, I'm not delusional to think that we're going to get to January, whatever the first business day is of the year in January. Your birthday. Okay. January 4th. And all of a sudden magically, ah, there's no more stress. The stress is gone. 

Matthew Grishman: No, no. That comes in December.

January is when all the stress shows up. All the uncertainty of the year [00:06:00] is back. Yeah. That's the point. As I'm listening to you share gratitude. I am hearing Groundhog's Day. No, and, and not, not, I'm not being critical of No, I get you. I'm hearing, wait a minute, I've been here before. We've been here before.

We've, we've walked into the new year, despite the fact that you and I live in a world where when we show up on January 4th, We're very fortunate that you and I made a decision a long time ago that we're unemployable And that we needed to build a mousetrap that fit more who we are and how we want to experience the world So you and I have a have a beautiful business model that we show up on january 4th And we know that without bringing another client on board this year what our revenue what our profitability what our expenses?

pnl is generally going to look like and it's a pretty good looking one to to say the least Yes, indeed so so there's A little bit of this groundhogs day that even though you and I have some predictability within our business model There's still [00:07:00] this angst that comes with january with a kind of holy shit What's going to happen this year and and we can go through this litany of uncertainty that's in front of us no matter what the year is, whether it's our health, whether it's the stock market, whether it's an election, whether it's what's happening in South Korea, whether it's, you know, what's happening wherever in the world.

And I love the fact that no matter what that uncertainty is, we tend to get to the other side of whatever that uncertainty is. A little better than we were before. So, let me ask you this question. Is there a year that we've been doing this show, that we've been sitting here like this in December, at the end of the year, is there a year that we can look back to January and not measure positive progress?

Nothing's jumping at me. Has there ever been a year I'd even go back before the show [00:08:00] and say in the last 10 years that you and I have been together and, and we've been through some shit. We've been through some, some challenges, some ugly stuff. Has there been a December that we can look back to January and measuring our progress and arrears and not been able to measure some amount of positive progress?

Can you remember a year that that no is possible? I don't either. No, I don't either. And I think that's part of the beauty of what we've built here and what we're trying to live as an example to our tribe, because that's that's what I see this. This show really has become is just you and I have figured something out in the land of entrepreneurial ism that appears to be attractive to a handful of other people.

We live a life. Mhm. And we measure the progress of our lives in a way that is attractive to others, at least [00:09:00] others have told us this. So we get to share, we get to, we get to live that here. Thank God we both have faces for radio, because we get to do that 

Jim Gebhardt: here. And the confidence that I feel every year when we make that progress, whether it's, you know, minimum or maximum progress, whatever that means, it's like the steel just gets harder and stronger.

Well, iron sharpens iron, right? Yeah. When we say that again, iron sharpens iron, right? Absolutely. And that's where I just, I have so much confidence and so much gratitude for everything we've been through because I mean that, that's the other, you know, old analogy on this, right? Is it, you can't enjoy the view from the top of the mountain without having gone through the valley and the climb to get there.

Yes. Oh, that's otherwise it's just kind of pointless. Now, one of my all time favorite movies alive, the movie around the airplane crash in the Andes in the seventies with the rugby team from, I forget where, but you know, three of them are brave enough to try to [00:10:00] go climb themselves out and not stay in the fuselage.

Stay in the 

Matthew Grishman: airplane. They didn't want to stay in the damn airplane. 

Jim Gebhardt: That was certain death, right? So three of them were brave enough to go climb and try to get themselves out. And they get, they, I mean, just what a tale to get to the top of the mountain only to see an endless range of mountains, right?

But that's life. The older I get, I understand now how they talk about, you know, the older you get, the wiser you get because you've got more life experience and you've climbed more mountains and you've gone down and up more valleys and you've climbed up mountains that you didn't think you could climb.

And if I look back at the number of workouts that I've had in 2024, If you had told me at the beginning of the year, and I wish I had tracked this. I, I know, I know, I know. It's kind of unthinkable that I didn't wait. What? Uhhuh I know , I was 

Matthew Grishman: busy working out. Okay. Oh, you were doing not counting. Go ahead. I was doing, I'll let you off on this one, 

Jim Gebhardt: but if you had [00:11:00] told me, and it's gonna be in the order of magnitude of 150 to 180 workouts this year.

Okay. If you had told me that at the beginning of year, I'd said, yeah, there's no, that's not gonna happen. That's a lot of workouts. That's not gonna happen. And so there's just so many different ways that it's fun to, to have the time and the space is time of year, not be a pedal to the metal, have to, you know, crunch it right to the 1231 deadline to be reflective because then it also gives us this opportunity to look ahead and to look ahead both personally and professionally with what we want to achieve in 2025.

Where do we want to take the show in 2025, right? And how can we help our tribe even more with whatever progress they've made? And we would strongly encourage that you embrace the concept of looking back at progress, measure the progress in arrears, not looking out into the future. This is a [00:12:00] wonderful concept from Dan Sullivan and the strategic coach that he taught me 20 years ago on if you try to measure your progress by looking out the front of the windshield.

It's no different than the horizon. You're just going to constantly be chasing it. You're never going to get there. You're never going to feel any sense of accomplishment. Whereas if you sit here and you look backwards at the progress and, and fitness and weight is such an easy one, right? Because you can, you can hop on a scale and I know you and I aren't big fans of the scale, but I've done some other things like DEXA scans and some of these more.

You know, sophisticated things in a scale to help look at body fat and muscle, muscle mass and all these good things. And so that's very easy to measure now in life. It's not always so easy to measure, but this is a wonderful time of year to go treat yourself to some quiet time and look at where in your life you've made progress.

But at the same time, if you haven't made the progress you wanted. Don't beat yourself up is that just such a tired old tale of [00:13:00] self flogging with, you know, I'm not good enough. I'm not strong enough. I'm not smart enough. I haven't made enough money. I'm not, I don't, you know, just all that scarcity bullshit that I can't stand.

Matthew Grishman: Sure. Easier said than done, dude. And you know that as two guys who have been our own best critics. Not beating the crap out of thyself for not having the progress I would have liked to have had this year is sometimes a tall task. And, and, for the tribe that's been with us for a minute, this is one of the ways that I think we can measure progress.

If you've been with us for a bit, Perhaps you've adopted one of our beginning of the year practices, which is to create a say no more list rather than having new year's resolutions, which at least for me, new year's resolutions have always been a, all right, this is my promise to myself for the year. I'm going to get better in this aspect of my life starting now with An unset expectation that it's going to happen [00:14:00] flawlessly and perfectly.

Like a friend of mine who on Thanksgiving morning texted me with a no sugar challenge from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Well, I failed that on day one, so let's just give it up. Right? Literally the day after he challenged me to that and I agreed to it. I'm popping a Werther's candy in my mouth without even thinking about it.

And holy crap, I just, I screwed up the challenge. I just put sugar in my mouth. Okay, I'm out. Tapped out. Completely without even thinking about it. It just, well, this was the challenge. This was the resolution. I failed on day one. Therefore, it's over. Setting myself up to lose when I make resolutions like that.

Whereas I'm setting myself up to win. When I have something like a say no more list, because if I say no more to self loathing, which is something I said no more to last January, I'm sitting here looking at my iPad in the, in the year in review, I've got all my pictures in front of me from the year. I'm [00:15:00] looking at you, me, and Alison from the ocean club in Scottsdale on January 29th, earlier this year, that picture that we retook the three of us from many, many moons ago.

And I'm just feeling the progress. that we have all made as people since we took that picture in the beginning of the year. And one of the things around that time of the year that I had added to my say no more list, because I know how I was physically feeling in that picture. Yeah, that was, that was a rough time.

That smile on my face is so fake because I was in so much physical pain and discomfort from the pericarditis I was experiencing. I was in a mindset where I'm not sure I wanted to live anymore. Right. And I was kicking the crap out of myself for how I got into this situation with this, you know, newfound adventure in cardiology that had been going on for a little bit, but I made a commitment to myself that we're going to add to the say no more list, no more self loathing.

No more beating the crap out of [00:16:00] thyself. Now, if I look back over the last year, did it, have I beat myself up at all? Absolutely. But have I done it less? Absolutely. Yeah. That's the progress that we're looking for. Well, as a result of doing it less, right. What, what's the other side of no more self loathing, self loving, right.

When, when we say no to something, you, you and I have always been, Believers that when we say no to the things that no longer serve us, right? For me, that's things like alcohol, fast food, self loathing, complaining, gossip, right? These are all things that over the years have gone onto my say no more list.

They still all happen with the exception of a few of those things have been gone now for quite some time. The alcohol's gone. I can't tell you the last time I ate fast food. I've caught myself gossiping. I don't [00:17:00] complain as much. In fact, oof, it's been a minute since I've outwardly complained about something and inside maybe a little, but what's starting to happen as we say no to these things, it allows us to start saying yes to the other side of the coin, right?

We know physics tells us that every energy, every action has an equal and opposite. Reaction. There's 

Jim Gebhardt: right. Darkness and lightness can't occupy the same space at the same time. 

Matthew Grishman: Correct. There's winter, there's summer, there's dark, there's light, there's yin, there's yang. There's always another side of things.

So if we're saying no to something, that creates the ability to say yes to something. So if I say no to self loathing, whether I say it out loud or not, I am either subconsciously, unconsciously, or consciously, Hopefully consciously after you hang out with us a little bit, Tribe. Consciously saying yes to loving myself.

And not [00:18:00] necessarily as a noun, but as a verb, as an action word. And that's where I've always struggled with loving myself. I don't know how in my head to love myself. Yes, I lied to myself by putting stuff on my mirror that was, I'm proud of you, I love you, I believe in you, and I read that to myself every day.

I'm proud of you. I love you. I believe in you written in blue lipstick on my mirror in my bathroom, reading that to myself every day. And although I was going through those motions and telling myself that lie every day, it had to be a verb. It had to be me going through that action of doing something loving for myself, like telling myself things I didn't necessarily believe.

Getting myself physically healthier is an action that shows. That I care about myself, that I want to take care of myself. I don't like doing it, but again, as I look back on the last year, because I feel a sense of [00:19:00] accomplishment in less self loathing, what I've been able to start to see is how self loving is starting to replace what was self loathing.

And it's really cool. It's, it's a big part of my gratitude today too. 

Jim Gebhardt: That's beautiful. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah, I know Ace, you're doing a great job hanging out with us today, nice and quietly. I want to show both of you guys, so I, I told you I'm looking at pictures from the year on my iPad and allowing that to kind of help me with the, with the year looking back.

This was a picture from 2024 that I had in my iPad. I just want you to look for a sec and I'll, we'll explain to the audience. Can you guys see it? I love it. So it's a little, a little cartoon of an elderly couple. She's holding a potted plant. He's sitting on a bench planting flowers in a garden. And the caption says, aren't you terrified of what 2024 could be like?

Everything is so messed up. [00:20:00] I think it will bring flowers, said the man. Oh? Why? Because I'm planting flowers. I really, really believe that when you and I enter the beginning of the year, you and I show up with uncertainty in January, as I think so many people do, a little bit of apprehension, but yet you and I have learned how to set some intentions that no matter what uncontrollable happens, you In our world, we are going to set some intentions and be in control of what we can, knowing that if we plant flowers, our year is going to yield flowers, no matter what outside of our control can possibly happen.

And part of that is the say no more list. 

Jim Gebhardt: So the difference between the new year's resolution and the intention, right? There's an app, there's an absolute to the new year's resolution that, like you said, with the sugar challenge, as soon as you pop the candy in your mouth, boop, you're done, right? [00:21:00] Whereas the intentions are just thematically something that is more.

Open, more forgiving, right. Concept, right. And as we've said on the show, as we've said on the show for years, you know, be intentional with your money. That that's been a tagline that we've said, you know, countless, countless times on the show. The real secret, if you really want to get behind it all, please.

It's just be intentional. I mean, you and I spend our time in the business of wealth management and helping people with their money. And yesterday I was meeting with a couple who have been clients a very long time. And. While they worked for 50 years, they started working when they were 15, and they've recently retired.

It's just shy of 50 years. They're having a very hard time with being intentional with their money. They're having a very hard time with the decumulation phase of life, right? [00:22:00] Other people would call it the retirement phase. And I was going through an exercise with them where I was just trying to hold the mirror up for them to be able to see how they're not really being intentional with your money, because he's complaining about the fact that he hasn't been playing very much golf as he intended.

And yet they're down in San Diego, fixing up a rental property themselves with an eight figure net worth. Now, many would argue, my father being one of them. That's how they created the eight figure net worth. God damn it. Sure. Okay. And that may very well be the case, but now life has changed, right? Life is, life has shifted.

And what do you want to do? You'd like to play more golf. Okay. Then how can we be more intentional with using the assets? So we went into their plan and they want to travel more. And we had kind of a, as you would say, you know, as your mother would say, God bless Jill, you know, kind of a good, not great kind of, [00:23:00] you know, travel budget.

So we put in a great one. Right? We, we more than doubled it to the point where they were both like, Whoa, what? I said, yeah, I just, I want you to be able to see what this looks like, how it has any impact at all in your financial plan. And we pressed the button, the number didn't move. The probability of their lifetime success of being able to live the life they wanted to live for the next 30 years, didn't change one percentage point by more than doubling their travel budget.

Now, they need to have the intention. I can, you know, you can lead the horse to water, right? I can show them that, but then they have to have the intention, like you do, like I do, like many of the members of our tribe do, to actually then go do something about it. Right. And 

Matthew Grishman: do you think that's going to happen?

Do you think this is And maybe it's not this specific client, but in general, do you believe people who are hardwired [00:24:00] that way can be more intentional that way or do they need accountability and help? 

Jim Gebhardt: Oh, I do believe they can. Absolutely. Okay. To do it on their own when they're left to their habits, I mean, no different than me with exercise and food and, you know, You know, all of that gluttony, right?

It's taken a small team of people to get me in a different direction. Yeah. So, you know, you can have the intention and that's where I think this concept of you mentioned self loathing, and I'm going to use more forgiveness. As long as you're trying to get in motion. I mean, we've also said on the show a thousand times, right?

Get the anchor. You don't have to get the anchor in the boat folks. You just got to get the anchor a half an inch off the bottom of the pond to get in motion. So if you can get in motion on being more intentional with your money, you know, I challenged them. They're planning another river cruise, right?

They had a wonderful time. They're planning a river cruise for 2026. [00:25:00] I said, well, when you went last time, did you go business class? Like I suggested? And they said, well, we went premium economy. I'm like, okay, that's progress. How was that? Oh, that, Oh, it was lovely. It didn't mean it was a big seat. I said, yeah, it's like flying on a lazy boy.

Right. And imagine what it would be like to be in a lie flat seat and sleep most of the way across the pond. And I said, cause if you don't, your kids will. Right, right. And that hit, that hit him like square between the eyes. Oh yeah. The thought of their kids in those seats in 30 years. On their money. I could tell that was, I got under the skin a little bit on that one, right?

And that's, that's what you and I love to do is to try to help people see the blind spots with how they're acting and how they're behaving in particular in the context with their money. 

Matthew Grishman: Sure. It's, it's a healthier way of calling ourselves a bunch of, a couple of professional shit stirrers. Yeah. [00:26:00] Thanks. I mean, in a way, that's what we're doing.

We're, we're, we're agitating clients in a very safe and comfortable way to change their behavior a little bit and just get, like you said, the anchor an inch up. But I do believe there's an accountability. I think this is, this is one of the things that I'm most grateful for is that you and I have found some clarity around this piece of value that we create in the lives of our clients, which is helping them stay accountable.

To actually using the wealth they've created to do the things, experience the places and the people that really mean a lot to them, but yet they don't always give themselves permission to do it because of so many years of being trained to have certain scarcity beliefs with money, and this is where I think you and I have made some great progress with our clients and really defined.

Clearly defined the value that we, we add in their lives and [00:27:00] the accountability of holding them to doing the things they've always dreamed about 

Jim Gebhardt: doing. And as we move into the new year with the show, one of the things you and I have talked about is having a, a segment of the show that is book reviews.

Yes. Given my particular passion for reading, and I set an intention at the beginning of this year that I was going to read 24 books. Yes. Oh, nice two books a month. Uh, how's that going to some to some people? They may think that's that's that's first grade efforts I mean just that's nothing to other people.

They'd be like i've never read 24 books in my lifetime, right? And I don't really have a good marker in terms of how many books that i've i've ever read in a year And i'm around I i've got to 16 books So I don't think i'm going to get the last eight in between now and the end of the year And that's okay.

That's not the point of the exercise is perfection You But I will say, as a little bit of a sneak peek for what's coming, that one of the most impactful books I [00:28:00] have ever read is a book by Bill Perkins called Die With Zero, that was handed to us by a new friend this year, one of the, one of the friends that we've met in 2024 that I'm most grateful for.

And the concepts in this book are exactly to the point of what we're, what we're yammering on about today is actually using the money for purposes greater than just making more money, for purposes greater than just necessarily more comfort. But we talk about, you and I talk a lot about the concept of experiences, right?

Let's not go by more meaningless stuff, but let's invest in experiences And in the context of Bill Perkins book that will eventually pay memory dividends. 

Matthew Grishman: Oh, yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: So as I've looked back on 2024, you know, that book was given to us in April. If you can believe that. What? Billy handed us that book in April.

I believe so. April or May. Yowza. [00:29:00] That year went by fast. That goes fast. So I read the book and I finished it on a, I think Friday, a Friday. in May, early June. And the next morning I get up and I've got the house quiet to myself. I make myself a nice cup of coffee. I'm sitting there. I'm, Oh, I haven't checked my personal email in a while.

And I go through and I've got an email from the golf club that I belong to with last call to Ireland. And I'm like, last call to Ireland. What? Why don't I know? I don't know anything about this. So I click on the email and I start to read it and it's a club trip that they've organized and it's, it's. It's going to be an itinerary of golf courses in Ireland.

Ireland and golf travel. And I love links golf. And I'm like, okay, well I've, you know, I've done Northern Ireland and that was extraordinary. So there's a very specific list of six courses in Southern Ireland that I'd like to play. And I mean, there's just, there's no chance. There's no, [00:30:00] there's no, there's no way it's those six courses.

And so I click on the link and sure enough, it's all six. It's all six teed up on a platter. All you got to do is say yes. And while in dollar terms, it was a big number, right? The golf, the travel, the flights, the time away. And I, I bet it probably won't even be in another year or two where I'll forget actually how much money I invested in the experience, but I can tell you that the friendships and the memories that have come from that in less than five months have more than dwarfed the investment or as many people would think.

the cost of the trip. That's what we're talking about when we're getting on our soapbox about being intentional with your money, right? And please go buy the book. We're going to talk more about it in 2025. But it's just a wonderful way to be able to enjoy some of what you've been working and saving and working and saving [00:31:00] so much, you know, over the course of your lifetime to enjoy it, because we don't all get a full long life.

We don't all get a long traditional retirement, a 30 year period with no work. Right. That's all evolving and changing. So I just, I had to share that story because as I reflect on 24, That's a big one for me. Absolutely. The concept of that book, how many people I've shared it with, how many people have started to actually take some, some of Bill's thoughts and ideas in terms of using, using your money now, not just hoarding, you know, waiting and trying to hoard it all for when you're old.

Matthew Grishman: Well, doesn't that challenge, I mean, doesn't, doesn't Bill's book completely challenge everything we've ever learned in our industry about What we're supposed to help clients do with their money for the rest of their lives. I mean, it, it completely challenges everything you and I have ever been trained to do as financial advisors.

Our job as financial advisors is to help people prepare for [00:32:00] retirement for this decumulation phase of life. But you know, for us to survive in this business, we need to hold onto those assets in an advisory account so that we can earn a fee on it and continue to grow it. God forbid our clients ever use their money.

And, you know, and we're taught to scare them subtly into this fear of what long term care expenses might look like. Um, what the end of life might look like, what the cost of healthcare looks like when you're, you know, 97 years old. And as an industry, we've done a really good job of instilling, A whole bunch of scarcity around preparing for keeping all your money hold up in an advisory account, paying your advisor 1 percent a year so that one day you could afford to hire somebody to wipe your ass and clean up your drool.

Right. And that's what we were taught how to do. Here's a preview of something else we're going to be doing in our show. Come next year, Jim's book reviews are going to also be, let's say, [00:33:00] complimented with Matthew's rants. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yes, that was, that was a lovely little industry rant right there. 

Matthew Grishman: Well, so here, here's kind of, you know, another little sneak peek and preview of not only why I love this book, but something we're going to be doing and talking about more throughout the show.

Next year in the show in 2025, and I'm gonna kick it off with a little rant right now, is that there are, whatever, 250 or 300, 000 people like us. Well, not like us, but get it right, get it right license to there's two like us. Yeah. Right. Two like us. I would say there might be a couple more like us. We've got some really good friends out there like Timmy and Phil and Kurt and Dwayne and Chris and you know, a handful of the, the good guys.

Jim Gebhardt: There's a baker's dozen. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah, well, there's I told you there's seven in my 17 years of carrying the bag and calling on guys like you. 

Jim Gebhardt: I can add a few to that list, 

Matthew Grishman: but my seven isn't necessarily your three, four, five, six, seven. True. So perhaps between you and I [00:34:00] collectively, maybe we've met a dozen of our peers that if the plane went down with both of us, we would encourage our spouses to go seek their help, right?

Maybe it's a dozen other advisors in the world today. Maybe, I don't know, 

Jim Gebhardt: but we certainly look forward to finding more. 

Matthew Grishman: Sure. Well, of course, the point being is that if there are 300 or so thousand licensed financial advisors on planet earth, who all, you know, kind of call themselves something a little different or specialize in something a little different at the end of the day, the majority of them really specialize in helping people prepare for retirement.

Yes. Agreed. Which may never come. Well, so that's kind of my point is here. We have an entire industry. geared towards helping people prepare for something that most people will never be able to be prepared for. Because if the majority of Americans don't have 600 in a bank account to cover an emergency expense, and the majority of Americans have an [00:35:00] average 401k balance of 70 bucks, which last I read the Fidelity statistic on that, it was like 68, 000.

But I'm sure with our transient inflation, we've had the last couple of years, that's probably shot up to closer to maybe a hundred grand. But shit, that could be a half a million dollars is the average 401k balance today. And guess what? That ain't enough, right? So for the average American to contemplate our parents retirement or our grandparents retirement, which is we get to 65 years old, we get a pension, a gold watch, and the opportunity to play golf and travel and see the world and roll around on the floor with our grandkids and do nothing and not work ever again, or have to create any more income for the rest of our lives other than the income.

That our passive investments will create for us is a pipe dream that doesn't exist for most people anymore. So as an industry, I'm going to challenge our peers. Hey guys, [00:36:00] gals, people, you got to go out and reinvent yourselves because most people are not going to have the ability to retire. And if we want to help people, what we really need to be doing is helping them figure out what's next.

And that's where I think you and I have made some of the biggest progress for our practice in 2024 is even though the clients we attract and work with tend to be entrepreneurs who have created phenomenal amounts of financial wealth for themselves, but yet what they seek is more from that wealth than just simply more wealth.

They want experience. They want impact. They want legacy. They want to see their money connected to something very meaningful to them in life, much bigger than themselves and much bigger than anything material that money might be able to buy. But even with that, even though we have the clients who have the means to one day, hang up the entrepreneurial, whatever they've done and [00:37:00] do nothing for the rest of their life, we're fortunate.

They're not wired that way. Our people, our people. Are not wired that way. So if our show is meant to talk to that entrepreneur, I can't think of an industry that's created more potential entrepreneurs like that than our industry, right? There are financial advisors who own businesses the way we own a business who are out there, and I'm going to challenge those entrepreneurs.

Who work with the everyday moms and dads and families of the world and not necessarily entrepreneurs that you and I work with to go out and help those people reinvent what retirement really looks like. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yeah, I don't think it's going to be periods of 30 years of no work. Right. It's what's next. It's what's, it's what's next in the concept of career.

It's what's next in the concept of, I mean, just look at what we've gone through post pandemic with how people work today. Right. where they work today, [00:38:00] how much they work from home, how much they work virtually. I mean, the number of people that I meet that have completely virtual jobs now, they're not, they're never in an office.

Right. Right. And that's where the, the, the creativeness needs to really kick in for, for not just our industry, but for everybody is, is reinventing how we work, where, where we work. Right. And, and, and you and I are such energy driven people. It's a little bit, for me, it's a little bit of, right. Where do you get the energy, right?

Where, you know, if Dan Sullivan were on the show, he would say, we shouldn't physically have an office. You and I shouldn't physically have a physical office that we go to, and that we should let our energy drive where we spend our time, where we create, where we engage, where we meet all those things, where we think, where we read, where we exercise, right.

And I've always struggled with that because I'm such a creature of habit in, you know, I'm going to work. Right. [00:39:00] Well, this year I've definitely embraced the, I'll call it the float, right? Yep. The float of being able to work from some of the very nice spaces that are at my gym. 

Matthew Grishman: I'm proud of you for this too.

Cause this is some of the 

Jim Gebhardt: places, thank you. Some of the places, you know, like in my home, which I've never been a work from home kind of guy, but there have been plenty of times where an opportunity has created itself. And I find that I'm more creative actually when I'm not in the office and that, that flows into problem solving for clients, 

Matthew Grishman: right?

You're re you're realizing something you've taught me a long time ago. Like there are a couple of things. That you have shared with me that I've grabbed and run with that I know deep down you've always believed but have had a hard time doing yourself as much as I've always put you up on this pedestal as like, wow, I really want to aspire to be like this guy.

I also know you're human and I know that there are things that you have shared [00:40:00] with me beliefs that you've had that. Maybe subconsciously you're sharing with me because you are in the process of trying to get there yourself, whatever that is. And part of that is detaching from. The concept of, of work you, you shared with me a long time ago, this idea of congruency of being the same person who shows up, whether it's work home, the pool deck, the basketball court, the bellying up to the bar, golf course, whatever you just show up, you just show up.

And some days, if you show up genuinely as who you are, And you are clear on the value you create in this world and you just show up with a willingness to give that away Sometimes you're going to be financially compensated for that other times You're not. You're just going to receive these deposits in the Fulfillment Bank instead, which I would argue, to me, has become so [00:41:00] much more valuable than the financial side.

Yes. Yes. And, and you've, you've shown me that. And I'm, I'm, I'm going to go so far as to, uh, I'm going to share something with the tribe that you shared with me. And, and I. I appreciate this. You, you said something to me and you'll remember this when we were at one of our retreats here this last year, it was one of the most profound things you said to me, and I'm going to share with you how I've responded to it internally.

You remember when you shared with me in, we were in, um, Bodega Bay, second retreat of the year. And you looked at me and you said, you do whatever you want, whenever you want. And you really don't care what anyone thinks. And I'm jealous. Yes, I do. That was one of the most important things you shared with me this year.

I had a double reaction to that. I felt that in two different [00:42:00] places. First, first place I felt was, I hate when you don't feel great. Right, that's my little codependent, I always want to make my friend happy, and I want to take his pain away, and I don't ever want to see him in distress. So there was a little bit of codependency that I grabbed onto when you did that.

Because I felt the discomfort that you had. The second thing I felt was, Wow, thank you. Like this incredible compliment because you taught me that, you showed me that, you showed me how to be the most authentic version of me that I could possibly be and show up like that everywhere I go and really detach from how others might receive that and realize that I'm not here to be all things to all people anymore.

And to watch you grow. Realize in that moment again, maybe not completely consciously, but how you've given somebody [00:43:00] the ability to do that and maybe struggling without yourself. And now I'm watching you throughout the year, unlock some of those old beliefs you've had because of the old West Gebhardt alarm code that was work.

Right work, work, work, and how you're allowing yourself a Monday morning to go to the gym and not race right to the office and be a little bit more authentically Jim Gebhardt. Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: I mean, man, if I'm gonna, I mean, if we're gonna be open and honest here, yeah. Uh, I'm in my inbox way before I go to the gym.

I know. And oh, and guess what? 

Matthew Grishman: So am I , you know that? And, and guess what? So am I. You, I, I said to you and Allison eons ago that I don't look at my emails and I'm not doing that shit. Well, guess what? First thing in the morning. Because of something you said before I get to go do what I want, whenever I want, without any care for what anybody thinks is, I care very deeply about what goes on within our firm and with our people and with our [00:44:00] clients.

And so one of the first things I do in the morning is I look in my email just to see if anything overnight has gone on and somebody needs us. And when I realized that, Oh, it's just a bunch of crap that Allison's going to delete for me in the next hour. Now I can go be. Whatever I need to be so that I can show up in the day as the very best version of myself who can be most helpful to the people who might need me today.

And so for that, my 

Jim Gebhardt: friend, thank you. You're, you're most welcome. And where I struggle with it is in the context of a lot of diagnostic work that we've done individually and as a team this year, there is one in particular called Clifton strengths. 

Matthew Grishman: Yes. 

Jim Gebhardt: And this particular diagnostic. And a lot of people have trepidation over these things because it's somehow you feel like it's judgy.

Right? You somehow feel as though, Oh, it's going to, it's going to tell me something I don't want to know. Right. A bad thing about myself. It's going to be scaly. Yeah. Right. The reality is it's just shedding light on the things [00:45:00] that you already know about yourself, put in a way that helps you actually see it for the first, maybe the first time.

And so in the context of CliftonStrengths, this isn't an expensive proposition. If you want to go online and do it for yourself or your team, or, you know, reach out to us and we can kind of help you. Get organized with it for your, your core team of executives. But what it does is it takes these 43 34, it takes 34 different strengths, and it stack ranks them from one to 34.

And the purpose of it is for you to really get clear on. What is it that drives you, right? And so in the context of what we're talking about here with kind of my obsession for making sure that everything's going well at, at the office, right, we're going to use the word work to describe that. When you go and you look at the, the top five for me, the concept of responsibility is number four.[00:46:00] 

Ooh, that says a lot. And that responsibility is as soon as I saw it, I was like, Oh, that's what it is. That's what it is. And what I mean by that is, there's always been this sentinel, gatekeeper, steward mindset that I've had. And I can go back and I can look at it from, you know, decades ago. Whether, you know, in high school as yearbook treasurer.

In college as, you know, the business manager for the acapella group I was in. And just this, this sense of stewardship that I've always felt. And it's not like I haven't heard the word responsibility before, before in my life, but that's where it comes from is, is this hardwired, strongly held belief that I have a responsibility to you as my partner.

To the rest of our team, to the hundreds of [00:47:00] clients that we serve, to the five people that wake up in my house every morning, I have a responsibility to them. And that has to come first. And that's your hard wiring. That's my hard wiring. And the challenge has been, if you do that long enough, you actually start to break down.

Right. And I physically, both health and physicality have been breaking down. And so the, the realization of. When you get on an airplane and they go through the safety thing, what do they always say? You got to put your oxygen mask on yourself first before you can help somebody else. And finally, finally, finally, after 54 and seven eights years on this planet, I've come to the realization that I have to do that.

I have to take better care of myself. If ultimately I'm going to serve. As the steward, as the responsible party for everybody that I'm responsible for. [00:48:00] 

Matthew Grishman: Well, and 

Jim Gebhardt: it's also that long to finally get to the point where I can go to the gym at seven o'clock in the morning, seven 30 in the morning and take the slings and arrows of other buddies at the gym.

Like, boy, wow. I don't know if I want my money manager at the, at the gym at eight o'clock on Monday morning. And I said, well, I'm not your money manager. I love it. And they're like, Oh, ouch. Right? But it's like, you gotta, if it, and I, I'm stammering with it, but it's taken me forever to get to the point where I realized that I have got to put myself first when it comes to my health.

Otherwise, I'm not going to be able to fulfill on the responsibilities that I have. 

Matthew Grishman: You have become aware of this CliftonStrength and how, when you're unaware, how your ego wants to operate as the responsible party. You're a failure if you're not responsible, right? [00:49:00] The inner dialogue that you've told yourself all these years because of your hard wiring now gets to change.

You get to still be that responsible one, but you get to do it in a way that Is not only healthier for you, but it's healthier for the people in your lives. You know, people like me and your family and the rest of the team here at Gebhardt group, because you get to show up as your very best self, a healthier self who is now really here with the skills and talents that you bring.

To the team in just a healthier way. As 

Jim Gebhardt: you're describing that, I had the realization that 2024 has been one of the greatest years of my entire life. Yes. Personally, professionally, in every regard, in every regard. Well, and 

Matthew Grishman: that is no small conversation. 

Jim Gebhardt: That is not a small conversation. 

Matthew Grishman: Sure. As you're sharing, you know, your Clifton strengths, I'm looking at mine and responsibility on [00:50:00] my list is number 22 out of 34.

So it's, it's in there and ironically, it's in there on my favorite number, right? 22 is my number. So that's exactly, it should be on a birthday. Uh huh. My top three empathy, positivity, and adaptability, which are all in the world of relationship because nothing is more important to me than breathing in your gas, feeling what you're experiencing and somehow helping you feel better.

I love helping people get a little unstuck when they're stuck, and when I've been unaware of this, it really came out in some very unhealthy ways. Where I was being too helpful and too concerned about how you felt, because really at the end of the day, what it was, unconsciously, I was worthless if I couldn't help you.

I, I got nothing to give, I'm, I'm a piece of you know what, if, if, I can't help you feel better. [00:51:00] And as I've learned to just hold space in the world of empathy and just be there, right? I mean, if you're having a rough day, I want to take that pain away. Unconsciously. If I can get you to feel better, that helps me feel better.

But what I'm starting to realize is that I can't take your pain away. But what I can do is anytime you experience pain going forward, promise that you don't have to feel it alone. I sit there with you. 

Jim Gebhardt: And as an empath, that just comes out of you like, uh, you know, water under the bridge. 

Matthew Grishman: Sure. But now as a more aware empath, I'm realizing what my role is and what my role is and what I actually have power over and what I don't have power over.

I don't have the power. Sure. To take your pain away. I have the power to sit there and let you know that you're loved when you're feeling pain, right? And that somebody's present there for you the same way. Right. The same way as somebody who is [00:52:00] responsible, isn't necessarily responsible for what everybody's success is today, but you can be responsible from a standpoint of just showing up and showing that the leader is here, right?

I'm here. I'm present. Right. And you don't have to necessarily be involved in or in charge of every single decision that happens in the firm that has your name on the front door. For the firm to be successful and watching you give that up and allow some of that day to day responsibility within the organization to be other people's problems has been wonderful.

That is some of the greatest growth I've ever seen in a human being. And that's coming through you this year in 2024. It's been awesome to watch dude. 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, thank you. You're welcome. I look, I look forward to doing it more in 25. 

Matthew Grishman: So with that said, we've got a hell of a year coming up. This has been an amazing year here in studio.

We, we went from trying to find a [00:53:00] little bit of financial sobriety in our lives for the last five years to finding that financial sobriety and transitioning into this thing we call the whole wealth journey. And now we're wrapping up 2024 and launching version two already of the whole wealth journey where we're going to have a little bit more structure and format to the show.

You're going to be bringing book reviews in because of this wonderful progress you've made. You've got 15 or so books. In the hopper from what you know, and I 

Jim Gebhardt: got some oldies and goodies that we're going to bring back in the greatest hits kind of way. 

Matthew Grishman: Oh, I love it. I mean, we're probably very well prepared there.

I'm going to be coming into every episode with a little rant on something that's pissing me off this week that we just need to deal with and get out there to the world. Uh, and we might even bring in a guest or two. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yeah, we're going to have, we're going to have some really great guests in 2025. I mean, some of the entrepreneurs that, you and I have met that we don't have any necessarily, you know, business relationship with, but just in our day to day lives with [00:54:00] some of the unbelievable entrepreneurs that we've, that we meet and their story is really what I hope to pull out in almost that hero's journey concept, because anybody that has been an entrepreneur has had struggle.

Sure. And I think it is very valuable while most people. You know, love to go on social media and, and praise all of their successes. I think it's very important to hear the struggle. I know in our own home. That Beth and I are a little more focused on sharing some of our struggles, both past and present with the kids so that they realize it's not all rainbows and butterflies.

And when you've been an entrepreneur, sure, there is a great story there. And we are really excited to bring some of those folks into studio and with their care and their vulnerability, how having them share their story. on their journey, where they're going, what they've learned, what do they read? How do they think, you know, all that good stuff.

So I'm, I'm really fired up as we turn the page. On, uh, [00:55:00] 2025, 

Matthew Grishman: right? There's a paradox there, brother. And I think that's, that's probably my greatest, I don't want to say accomplishment, but what, when I look back on 2024, the most important thing I learned this year is that to taste the sweetness in life, you have to know what bitter tastes like.

You have to know what sour tastes like. There is no way I'm sitting here today more comfortable in my own skin than I've ever been in 52 12 years on planet Earth if I didn't experience the pain, the discomfort, the uncertainty. I think it was Carl Sagan who had a quote, something to the effect of that every human should experience the gift of near death.

I never thought I would've had to, to truly experience the beauty in life that I'm experiencing now. But when we start realizing that the struggle is what [00:56:00] creates the success, and we can start to change our relationship with struggle with life, I mean, life's hard, human life and human existence is hard.

You and I have struggled and we've learned how to change our relationship with struggle. Because there's not a struggle that you and I have gone through in all of our years of living and struggling that didn't come to an end, right? All of the struggle has been temporary. There has always been an end to a struggle.

And on the other side has always been something better, something 

Jim Gebhardt: sweeter. That's a powerful lesson I hope our tribe can really embrace with whatever struggle they're going through. Is it will have an end. There is great stuff that will come out of that. That will come out on the other side of that struggle.

Matthew Grishman: When you can sit there in an incredible amount of physical, emotional, and or mental discomfort, and just for a moment, pause the [00:57:00] story. That's going on in your head because your experience has taught you that there's something sweet on the other side of this. I can do this. There's a perseverance muscle that starts to build and, and you and I first heard this back in our days of training with Bo.

When, when Bo talked about, you have to change your relationship with practice and preparation. You have to have a, a love, not a love hate, but a love relationship with preparation, with struggle, with sweating, with pain. And boy, oh boy, have we, uh, really embraced that 

Jim Gebhardt: your example of perseverance in September 8th, 2023 is nothing short of remarkable.

Thank you, brother. And I certainly don't know the inside of where you were exactly a year ago today, but I knew from the outside, it was not good. And so to think of all the progress that you've made, all the effort that you've put into it, all the things that you've kind of have to just, you know, set aside and let go and reframe and rethink and [00:58:00] push through that resistance, right?

The slog. The daily slog of, uh, I don't want to do blank. Right. But yet here you are physically, mentally, emotionally stronger than I've ever seen you. That's pretty cool. 

Matthew Grishman: Thank you, brother. That means a lot. Cause I think I'm pretty good at faking it, but I can never get one by you. Nope. So you can always see it in my eyes.

Yep. Uh, so, 

Jim Gebhardt: uh, and I was looking at the picture from January at the ocean club in Scottsdale. And I'm like, yeah, that, um, that's a lovely picture, but it's not very real. 

Matthew Grishman: I know how to Photoshop my own photos without using Photoshop. Oh, even better. But I can't get it by you. So. Recognizing that brother. I appreciate that.

Thank you very much. 

Jim Gebhardt: It's been a hell of a year. I can't wait for 2025 and to all of our listeners in the tribe to ACE and. Everybody that helps us do this. We are eternally grateful and look [00:59:00] forward to seeing you in the new year. 

Matthew Grishman: Happy New Year, 

Jim Gebhardt: brother. Happy 

Matthew Grishman: New 

Jim Gebhardt: Year. 

Matthew Grishman: So with that, my friends, that's a wrap.

Thanks for joining us today on the Whole Wealth Journey. Whatever your path may look like, our purpose is to make sure that your way forward aligns with your core values and intentions. Are you ready to start planning for a future that's rich in wealth and well being? Then click like and subscribe. And make sure you don't miss a single episode of the whole wealth journey.

So if we've struck a 

Jim Gebhardt: nerve with you today, 

Matthew Grishman: where do people go? You can find us at Gebhardt whole wealth. com. That's G E B H A R D T whole wealth. com. And once you get there, make sure you connect with us so you can take the first steps to finding your why we'll see you next time. 

Amy Bingham: Jim Gebhardt is a registered representative of and securities offered through Brokers International Financial Services, LLC, member [01:00:00] SIPC.

Jim Gebhardt and Matthew Grishman are investment advisor representatives of Gebhardt Group Incorporated, a registered investment advisor, Brokers International Financial Services. Services LLC and Gebhardt Group Incorporated are not affiliated. The opinions in this podcast are for informational purposes only, and are not intended to provide specific advice or investment recommendations.

To determine which investments or financial advice may be appropriate for you, consult a financial advisor prior to investing. Any reference to market performance is based on historical information, and there is no expressed or implied guarantee of future performance. Opinions expressed on this program do not necessarily reflect those of Brokers International Financial Services, LLC.

The topics discussed and opinions given are not intended to address the specific needs of any listener. Gebhardt Group Incorporated does not offer legal or tax advice. Listeners are encouraged to discuss their financial needs with the appropriate professional regarding your individual [01:01:00] circumstance.