Episode 149: Leadership Inspires Culture and Confidence.

What if you could unlock the secrets to raising resilient children and transforming business leadership simultaneously? Discover how shifting focus from participation trophies to genuine resilience can shape future leaders, both at home and in the marketplace. Through personal stories and relatable anecdotes, we'll navigate the journey of parenting styles that emphasize accountability that transfers into lifelong habits at home, in the workplace and in the community. In many cases, childhood sports or group activities are the seeding for these traits.

Building on this foundation, we explore the profound shift from competition to collaboration in the business world. Learn how middle-market entrepreneurs can lead by example, creating cultures that prioritize personal growth and community impact over a zero sum game. By embracing responsibility and fostering environments where learning from challenges is the norm, we address the urgent leadership void present in today's rapidly changing landscape. This episode is a powerful call to action for business leaders to champion internal growth and accountability within their organizations.

Finally, we highlight the often-overlooked aspects of leadership that can significantly enhance business value. From nurturing human and social capital to promoting a culture of trust and innovation, we look deeply into strategies that encourage team members to embrace risks and view mistakes as opportunities for growth. You'll gain insights into fostering team confidence, the art of effective listening, and building a resilient organizational structure. Join us as we unravel the intricacies of leadership that not only fortify businesses but also enrich the communities they touch.

Chapter Summaries

(00:00) Parenting for Leadership and Resilience
Raising resilient children with strong values, avoiding participation trophies, and promoting perseverance in the face of adversity.

(06:45) Creating a Culture of Leadership
Transformative leadership prioritizes personal growth, challenges as learning opportunities, and middle-market entrepreneurs as examples for positive impact.

(10:49) Embracing Leadership for Business Success
Entrepreneurs foster a leadership culture prioritizing team growth, unique ability, risk-taking, and learning from mistakes.

(20:47) Fostering Team Confidence and Growth
Disengaging from Facebook due to lack of meaningful leadership, focusing on inspirational content on Instagram and LinkedIn, and fostering open communication within our team.

(24:55) Building Trust Through Effective Leadership
Leadership in today's complex environment requires genuine listening, receiving feedback, and modeling transparency to build trust and enhance effectiveness.

(29:54) Building Leadership Process and Confidence
Leadership impacts future leaders and organizational capability, fostering curiosity and human connection, and building trust through battle-tested processes.

Learn more about The Whole Wealth Journey and get periodic updates or helpful content by getting on our email list HERE. Entrepreneurs, exit strategies and personal financial planning before the sale are topics you can count on every episode.  You can follow us on Instagram @thewholewealthjourney. 

Transcript

Jim Gebhardt: [00:00:00] I get the whole trust bit. I get it. That's part, that's a big part of it. I think there's no. Well, but the, I think the trust is this expectation that comes with the leadership is going to save me. I have this false belief that if I trusted my leaders, they're going to save me. Okay.

Welcome to the whole wealth journey. 

Matthew Grishman: Wealth with a Y. What does that mean? What does that mean? Are we spelling it funny? Uh, no, I think we're using the word. Why the word? Why? Okay, not the letter. Why the actual word? Why? 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, I know why. Why? Because we want to help people get on their path. Then the path is all about their why.

Matthew Grishman: And it's about aligning your finances with the why. The people, the experience, and the passions that give their lives true 

Jim Gebhardt: meaning. It's getting way beyond the bank statements, the brokerage [00:01:00] statements, the trust documents, the life insurance, and taking a deeper dive into your why. 

Matthew Grishman: Well, admittedly, we're not for everyone.

This is different. We're for the bold ones who really want to dive deeper and seek a life that resonates with who they really are at their core. Who finds value in vulnerability. 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, 

Matthew Grishman: you and I do 

Jim Gebhardt: you and I do and that's where we want to play, but not everybody is comfortable with that vulnerability.

Matthew Grishman: Maybe we should introduce ourselves. What do you think? Oh, that's a good idea. Jim Gebhardt and I'm Matthew Grishman. We are the co creators of the podcast. The whole wealth journey. Ready to find your why? Then let's get started and get you one step closer to unlocking your inner wealth and well being.

I'm a huge believer that our children are smart enough because we've taught them well. They're smart enough to be able to go out into the world and recognize the kind of leadership that they want to emulate, and the kind of [00:02:00] leadership that they don't want to emulate. And be just as grateful for both examples.

Jim Gebhardt: You're more optimistic than I am. 

Matthew Grishman: Well 

Jim Gebhardt: Because we've spent an entire generation of giving out participation ribbons and 13th place trophies. 

Matthew Grishman: Not to your kids or my kids, though. Not to the children who are members of the tribe listening to this show. This, brother, this is where the leadership conversation is about us shrinking our universe.

I get it. And unplugging from all that shit. And I'm 

Jim Gebhardt: thrilled that I'm hoping our audience has raised their kids this way. Because I know I have. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah, I don't, I don't know that you could tolerate listening to us if you, if you haven't. And if you have, because there was a time where I wasn't quite raising my kids the way I felt deep down I should have been raising my kids.

I was doing too much for them. I was letting them off the hook. I wasn't letting them experience the gift of failure. I wasn't holding them accountable at times. I was letting them kind of, it was more important for them to like me than it was for them to Respect what I'm trying to do as a responsible parent in preparing them for leaving you for life Yeah, like [00:03:00] right life without mom and dad Well, once I saw what was possible when I saw other examples of parental leadership through you through some other very close friends I made a decision and it wasn't An easy decision, because it took a minute for both members of parliament in my household to get on the same page about that.

Sure, you had to right the ship. Absolutely. And it took time. So I'd like to think Somewhat optimistically and somewhat exclusively, and I'm not about scarcity and exclusivity as much as I used to be, but I do believe our population, our tribe, who is part of this whole wealth journey community, this conversation we're having, if they were behaving the way I was as a parent, they've at least begun to right the ship.

And if not, they crave 

Jim Gebhardt: the ability to do so. 

Matthew Grishman: Well, keep listening. Right. Because practice makes perfect. It's one 

Jim Gebhardt: of these things, as I think about this stuff, it's something once you see it, you can't unsee it. Like, oh, I want [00:04:00] that. Absolutely. Oh, I want, that's what I want. Dude, that was the day I met you.

Right? 

Matthew Grishman: I 

Jim Gebhardt: want 

Matthew Grishman: that. I can't unsee it. Hey, honey, we're moving to Lafayette. Yeah, that went over. How'd that go? As you Catholics would say, that went over like a fart in church. Yes. I should go to church today. As well as that, yes. Right. 

Jim Gebhardt: So it's, it's a concept that I'm hopeful that this next generation of voters and workers and entrepreneurs that are coming, you know, they're coming out.

Our kids ages, right? You know, the early 20s. Emily was at a function last night that was like a job fair for speech pathologists. And it was remarkably a small audience in the sense that there's about 30 of these graduate students coming out of Cal State East Bay, but yet they had this job fair with.

All kinds of recruiters that are specific to the industry of SLPs. Okay. So you've got schools, you've got hospitals, you've got private practice, you've got this and that. And she got into a conversation with one of the recruiters [00:05:00] about the fact that her generation has very little resilience in this recruiter's experience.

The recruiter started this conversation or Emily did? This recruiter did. Okay. And that she was very impressed. With Emily's background as a swimmer and Emily was a little uncomfortable bringing up the whole, you know, division one swimming thing She didn't bring it up. Actually, it was like on her resume or that's how the recruiter got talking to her about it Okay, and that she gave several stories of Emily's peers not in this program per se but you know other people that have been hired a year or two out that as soon as resistance showed up, boom, they quit.

Matthew Grishman: Like, give me an example of resistance. Did she say, like, what form of resistance or does it really not matter? 

Jim Gebhardt: It doesn't really matter, but it was that, you know, things got hard and they couldn't, they couldn't persevere, right? Whether the caseload, whether the specific circumstances with the kids, whether, whatever it was about the [00:06:00] dynamics.

And Emily left the conversation feeling she already has a leg up on her peers and she hasn't even started yet. Right. And that I get excited about. Yeah. But, as we spread this out further, I mean, I, I talk ad nauseum about these 13th place ribbons, and I, I kept one from one of the swim meets that my kid was in, because I couldn't believe it.

I couldn't believe We were passing out ribbons, which are typically, in an Olympic kind of way, 

Matthew Grishman: 1, or 3rd. Which I think 2nd and 3rd is a waste, because if you ain't 1st, you're last. Thank you, Ricky Bobby. Thank you, Ricky Bobby. Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: Thank you, Bo Eason. Yeah. And yet, we, you know, and I coached CYO for years and years and years.

And the end of the season would come, and there'd be this big box, and there'd be, you know, participation trophies that we were supposed to pass out. And the first couple years I did, and then I didn't. Because I'm like, this is horse shit. This isn't how the world works. You go for the job interview, if you're [00:07:00] 13th, you don't get the job.

So what are we doing as a society if we're just creating all of these soft kids? That are gonna come into the world and expect, I think, an even greater level of saviors to come pull them out of whatever situation 

Matthew Grishman: they're in. You wanna really get this thing nutty? I think we could take that even a step further, because you're spot on.

We've definitely created this environment that takes all of the achievement and competition out of Oh, we're not going to keep score. 

Jim Gebhardt: Right. Oh my, oh, no, no, no, Johnny. No, we're not keeping score of this game. When that started happening, in my early coaching and parenting days, I was like, Uh, no, I'm not going to Participate that way.

Yeah. Because that doesn't prepare them. No. 

Matthew Grishman: What I love is that I think our children have been taught in a way that even winning that first place trophy might feel good for a minute. But who's the real competitor? Like who are they really competing [00:08:00] against? Is it the other 16 swimmers in the pool? I mean, that's the kind of leadership that you and I represent and stand for really isn't about competing against one another.

In fact, that's part of the challenge and the problem I think we have with the lack of leadership in the world today is that so much of the competition that exists in the world today is all scarcity based. It's all fear based. I have to compete with you because I'm either not going to get something I want or I'm going to lose something that I have.

Jim Gebhardt: And it's a zero sum game. And 

Matthew Grishman: it's a zero sum game. We both can't win. Absolutely. Right. So one has to win and one has to lose. Right. But yet you and I have come to embrace a different Approach to leadership where if I strive each and every day to be the very best version of myself that I can, and I look at each day as an opportunity to get 1 percent better, then all of a sudden, anybody else who has that mindset and is out there competing that way doesn't, isn't any more my competition as much as they are my collaborator.

Wait, what can I learn from you that helps me become the [00:09:00] very best version of you? And you know what, in that case, if you and I are going head to head in the bike race and I lose by two tenths of a second. But I learned something about becoming the very, very best version of myself. All of a sudden, there's no, no such thing in sports anymore as wins and losses.

It's just wins and learns. And sometimes I would say those learns are more valuable than the temporary nature of a, of a win, of a trophy. Well, you learn more. Yes. 

Jim Gebhardt: Right? You become better. And that becomes an unbelievable attractant to me. Yes. If someone has that spirit about them. Yes. Right? If it's not the zero sum game competitive, I, I, believe me, I'm a competitive you know what.

But in this conversation, it's not about the winning or the losing, it's about getting better. And that's very attractive to me. And when I see that, I want more of that. The sad thing is, I don't see a lot of that. 

Matthew Grishman: No, especially not at the top. Not at the top of government. Not at the top of business. Not at the top [00:10:00] of academia.

It seems like that, that all is about maintaining a status quo of mediocrity in the world. So that a few are able, financially, to rise to the top. It doesn't seem like it's about creating an opportunity for each person to go out and create the very best version of themselves. Making themselves their, their most valuable investment.

Jim Gebhardt: Well, this goes back to some of my rant earlier about this concept of people have an expectation that someone's coming to save them. Someone's coming to pull them out of the abyss. Right? When really, as you and I have studied this for over a decade, it's an inside job. Yeah. And to your point of it's, the competition is against yourself.

So, if someone's struggling with this You've got to stop looking outside for the solutions and you got to start working on the inside to assess How do I get better? How do I change my circumstance where I'm at? 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah, 

Jim Gebhardt: when you and 

Matthew Grishman: [00:11:00] I were here last time recording in studio we were kind of starting to talk about some of the ways that you and I have challenged each other to get a little better to up our game to get better at our craft and You and I have embarked on this where we're putting our stake in the ground and we've taken a look at the people who've shown up who need our help and more and more, those are people who, who have been these kinda thriving entrepreneurs in the trades world, owners of construction businesses, engineering firms, firms, electrical firms, plumbing firms, different types of contracting firms where they've just got a wildly successful business and, and they're getting closer to that point of trying to figure out what's next, kind of that, that whole exit planning conversation.

And, and we started talking about the different components to an exit planning strategy and, and how that was just kind of some good business and, you know, here, here we're looking at. You know this leadership vacuum that exists in the world today and even in [00:12:00] the the highest levels of business Those leadership vacuums are glaringly obvious where where I see just an incredible opportunity for us middle market entrepreneurs business leaders is is the opportunity to lead the opportunity to create culture within our organization that not only has an impact within the organization, but trickles out into the community, the community, right?

Because every business that's a middle market business like ours has an impact on their community, even from just the very basic standpoint of creating jobs and services or products within that community. So we touched on this concept of value in business, driving value in business, and where does all of that come from?

We look at an entrepreneur and how so much of their net worth is tied up in their business, yet there's very little way to measure that when it comes to looking at a balance sheet, looking at a profit and loss statement, where the majority of that value comes [00:13:00] from are in these four intangible capitals.

And where this conversation about leadership can really, really blow the roof off things, I think, is how we can directly tie Maybe a little selfishly, a direct benefit, a direct increase in value to the business, to the organization, to the quality of lives of each of the stakeholders within the business of where really embracing a leadership culture.

Can really affect the bottom line of a business, period, and really affect one of, maybe a couple of those intangible capitals from, from a people standpoint, right? The people in your organization are a huge component to the value of your business. 100 percent As well as the, the social capital that you have.

What is the culture of your business? What does that culture's impact look like in your community? And if you as the entrepreneur can embrace These kind of leadership values [00:14:00] where it's not someone's going to come rescue us. It's now my responsibility to create this culture that makes it okay for everybody within the organization to stop worrying about who's, who's next for my job.

Who's the person that, that I got to out hustle or I'm going to lose my job to that person, right? Who's coming up the chain and instead makes it about a culture where, hey, you're the right person in the right seat. For the right reason. And your job, 100%, your job is all about becoming 1 percent better tomorrow than you are today.

Jim Gebhardt: That's grooming future leadership. Yes. Right? Sometimes, we've Many, many, many, many, I don't even know how many, hundreds of business owners that I think by nature are somewhat control freaks. I think it's part and parcel to the business owner entrepreneur. So there's this tendency for them to wear a lot of hats.

Yep. One of the first things that you and I like to do is to try to help them identify the, this, this concept of unique ability. What's their unique ability and [00:15:00] start to You know, as Jeff Bezos likes to say, if this doesn't make your beer taste better, outsource it, right? And that's a powerful concept because a lot of these business owners that are a little freakazoidish on controlling want to control all the different parts of the business, right?

That's part of the reason why they're the president or the CEO. But as you can start to embrace this unique ability concept with your human capital, with your team, and you can start to foster an environment where you You're going to start to grow and build future leaders. That's going to eventually take pressure off of you as a Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces.

Absolutely. That has not just a beautiful trickle down effect for your business, and increasing the human capital of your business, which is going to make it ultimately a more desirable business in the marketplace when it comes time to exit, is, to your point, is that spillover effect. is going to [00:16:00] cascade back into the home of that employee.

Yep. As a better leader of that family. And then into their community. Whatever, whatever other, you know, the church, the school, the synagogue, the nonprofit, the whatever it is. And so we start to get away from this, this dependency on being saved. And it's a homegrown kind of approach to improving the leadership.

And this whole concept of, you know, the 1 percent getting better. It's just, it's a mindset. And if you can, if you can, you know, deliver that to your team in a way. And you and I have, you know, been running this business for a long time and one of my great frustrations is when you start to see a team member, I don't really like the word employee, it feels demeaning to me.

Matthew Grishman: Yeah, yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: But a team member, 

Matthew Grishman: well, it's like, it's a, it's like if, if you call somebody an employee, they're, they're here to serve me. Right. Uh, as the business owner, it's never like's the word employee ation of that. Right. It, it's a hierarchal thing. We're keen for crying out loud. Exactly. You and I have taken the old traditional.[00:17:00] 

status quo, vertical integration of a firm and have done our very best to create this more horizontal integration where you and I serve as leaders to a team that is all driving in one direction. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yeah. And when that team, when, when you start to see the team member is afraid of making mistakes, right? Yeah.

I can, I can think of numerous coaches that my kids have had where. They made a mistake out on the field of play, they got yanked, right? It's a real old school kind of philosophy. Right. You know, they took two bad shots, they're pulled. Turnover. Turnover. I just saw it on Sunday with a dear friend of Grace's who had two bad plays in a row, and I started watching the bench, and sure enough the coach goes and pulls a defender, and out she comes, right?

And when I see that with a team member, it drives me crazy. Because I want them making mistakes. The only way they're going to be comfortable as a leader in their role on the [00:18:00] team is if they're out forging ahead a little bit and making mistakes. Right. It doesn't, it still doesn't feel good. No, it doesn't feel good, but I want them to know that we've got their back.

Yes. I would rather they take the initiative on something that may ultimately be a failure or a mistake or whatever it is, than constantly You know, going back to the movie, Alive, constantly stay in the fuselage, hoping not to make any mistakes and hoping that somebody's going to come save them. Right?

That's the initiative that we want to see at the team level. And that's the environment you want to foster with your people. Because if they're constantly afraid of making a mistake, they're never going to stick their neck out and try anything. Right. Absolutely. I'm well caffeinated today, if you couldn't tell.

Matthew Grishman: I'm glad you stopped for that extra coffee. You and I have talked a lot off mic about the movie alive and the significance that that has I'm not sure everybody in our tribe No, I'm sure I'm sure V. 

Jim Gebhardt: Right. So the movie alive is all [00:19:00] about the 1972 Uruguayan rugby team and they have a plane crash in the Andes Yes, big mountain and they obviously weren't planning on a plane crash in the Andes so they are not dressed appropriately and this plane crashes and many of them die and But there's, I don't remember the number, there's probably a dozen or better that survive.

At least the initial crash, yes. Yeah. And, you know, conditions are horrible. The fuselage is, is mildly intact. And they have this expectation that, you know, people are going to come save them. Well, this is way the heck up in the Andes. This isn't exactly the easiest search and rescue opportunity. And they get into this rather heated argument around, you know, staying in the fuselage and people are going to come save us.

And there's three of the folks that are like, no, we need to pull ourselves out of here. So three of them kind of hobble cobble some, [00:20:00] whether they take some of the seat material, some of the insulation from the seats, and they, I don't even know how they fabricate some gear to be able to now go guess, do what?

Mountain climb. 

Matthew Grishman: Mountain climb their way out. 

Jim Gebhardt: Mountain climb their way out. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah, you skipped over a tiny little piece of the plot, which is what ultimately motivated them to get over their dependency on someone's coming to save us. And this is, this is what blows me away about human nature, is that here you are, stuck in the mountains, waiting for somebody to come rescue you, and it takes About of cannibalism.

Yes, right. To finally convince you that, holy shit, we need to like Do something. Do something about this. Yes. Because nobody's coming. 

Jim Gebhardt: Right. 

Matthew Grishman: I mean, think about that for a minute. To the level of desperation. Yes. You had to be at to find just the tiniest bit of willingness to start climbing and realizing, look, I'm probably gonna [00:21:00] die, but I'm gonna die trying.

And I'm certainly gonna die if I stay here. Yes. Because we can't just I mean, we're going to run out of people to eat. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yes. Yes. So The unthinkable, right? Oh, absolutely. And they get, so, three of them start Right. And one of the guys isn't in good shape just based on the crash and everything else and he can't do it.

He decides to go back and the other two brave souls finally get to the top of the mountain. And they're expecting to see green pasture when all they see is an endless 

Matthew Grishman: string of mountains. More mountains. 

Jim Gebhardt: An endless string of mountains. Yeah. And yet, they're gonna go down, die, they're gonna die trying.

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: And the remarkable part is they actually do make it. They come down to this river and there's some people on the other side that are like, you know, what are you guys doing here? And they're able to rescue them. I mean that's, I saw that movie about ten, uh, I saw that movie twelve years ago. Thirteen, thirteen years ago.

Wow. [00:22:00] And those concepts have stayed with me in this context of if we stay doing what we're doing, it's certain death or failure. We have to evolve. We have to, we have to take risk. We have to grow. We have to push beyond the boundaries of where we're comfortable. Because if we just stay here where we're comfortable, well then we're going to get where we're going to get.

Yep. That's not what I signed up for. 

Matthew Grishman: When was the last time you were on Facebook? Yesterday. Oh, okay. I'm obviously asking for, because I got, you know, some shit to say about that. Sure. Say it. I still like my occasional little, uh, bout of Instagram reels, and, and I sure do appreciate the networking that I'm doing on LinkedIn, but Facebook, I hit a breaking point with that.

When I started seeing these posts about, thank God he's going to save us. Because the right guy got elected. He's going to save us. They're going to save us. That was it. That [00:23:00] was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. I just, I couldn't do it anymore. And as they say on Shark Tank I'm out. So I'm, I'm, you know, I still have a Facebook account and it's still on my phone.

I just, I'm not going to delete it because I don't know, maybe I'll be back one day, but I, I've, I've not been able to open up the app and look at it because it is just, it's just an incredible example of the lack of leadership that exists in our world today. There is no leadership. on display on that social media platform.

Whereas, I find some occasionally on LinkedIn. I even find some occasionally in Instagram with some of these reels that I watch. At least they entertain me and make me 

Jim Gebhardt: laugh. Well, there's the entertaining ones, but then, you know, a lot of the ones that you, we had ping pong back and forth. Sure. Are inspirational messages or a coaching message or a thought, you know, a thought leader that's sharing something really, you know, a snippet that's really kind of, wow, that's, that's a thinker.

Yes. Right? That's what I do. Mostly on social media is not, you know, I had a nice Crab Louie sandwich today [00:24:00] and, you know, we're going on the trip of a lifetime tomorrow. It's, it's more intentional, right? It's more try again, this all, this all goes back to what you said 12 minutes ago, trying to get 1 percent better.

Yeah. I'm not going to get 1 percent better doing my job, going home at the end of the day, having a hot meal with my family, watching a Warriors game and going to bed. I have got to sharpen the saw. And for me, one of the ways I sharpen the saw is, I don't know, 10, 15 minutes a day. And I scroll past all the garbage and try to get to something that's a thought provoking concept, not necessarily something that's political or divisive or, or inflammatory, but more that will.

Maybe teach me something. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: And that's what I, that's what I search for. Sure, there's the, you know, silly movie clips and Jon Panett isms and all this good stuff that, you know, you do need to laugh in this world today. More than ever. But that's how I use social media. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. It's [00:25:00] spot on. That's exactly what I'm doing.

Where leadership needs to come from is right here. Right here within the tribe. And what I'm really, really excited about and also a little nervous about is some things that you and I are doing differently. this year within our own world of leadership, which I think is going to help build the confidence within our team even more so.

Because one of the things you've always taught me is one of the most important components to our style of leadership is making our, one of our primary responsibilities, protecting each other's confidence, protecting the confidence of those that are on our team. And where I really like what we're doing as we go into review season, right, where we're gonna be reviewing our last year and looking at where we are now and where we kind of see ourselves going in the future.

You and I had an opportunity to get together with our team last week and present what we see [00:26:00] as our vision for where we've been, where we are, and where we're going. And now we're getting into part two of that, which is really sitting down with each member individually on the team and. Getting their take on, you know, because everybody on the team has a very unique view of the world through their lens on our team.

Sure. And to be able to really breathe in their gas on how they see where we've been Where we are and where we're going is so incredibly in value for it's invaluable for for you and me, the fact that you and I are at a point as leaders where we're willing to sit down and hear honestly, encouraging from our team, talk to us, where do you see the strengths, the weaknesses, the opportunities, the threats?

Where do we do a good job as the leaders of the team? Where are we not doing a good job? 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, we need blind spotters. As the 

Matthew Grishman: leader of the team. Right. How many leaders, though, in, the leaders that are on [00:27:00] display on cable news networks right now, how many of those leaders are willing to listen to the people they supposedly lead to where they're really soliciting feedback about how can I be a more effective leader for you?

How can I do better for you? 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, I think the sad part of it is they think they are. 

Matthew Grishman: They think they're listening, or they think they're doing a better job? Both. Oy vey. They 

Jim Gebhardt: think they're 

Matthew Grishman: listening. That deserves a full oy vey, oy vey asmir ghazook. Like the whole thing. 

Jim Gebhardt: They think they're listening. 

Matthew Grishman: Wow.

But I don't ever see them listening. I mean, they might tell us they're listening, but I don't see them listening. I see them talking. Yeah. I see them telling. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yeah, a lot of telling. I see some shouting. You know what I've noticed with some of the coaching that you've provided over the years? is the number of I statements.

I did this. We did, I did that. I did this. I did that. I'm the 

Matthew Grishman: best at probably the best dad ever. 

Jim Gebhardt: And that. It has no place in leadership. 

Matthew Grishman: And that's been the example of leadership [00:28:00] on cable news networks now for a better part of a decade or more. 

Jim Gebhardt: Too long. Oof. Well, and, and the feedback, right, and this blind spotting, right, again, the whole 1 percent getting better.

Well, you can't get 1 percent better if you don't know where you need to improve. You can think of it internally. You can think of, you know, I need to get in better shape. I need to create a bigger engine if I'm going to be able to run the miles or do the. Do the death. The death ride. What's, uh, Jeff's.

What Ace does is just. Yeah, Jeff's death ride. The death bike ride. They have cars for that, don't they? Right. But you need, you need that feedback. Yeah. And sometimes it's very difficult to be neutral and to receive that feedback, right, in the old concept of coachable. Right. How coachable is the individual?

Right. You and I are seeing at the higher levels is they're, they're not very coachable, right? No. The ego is just completely dominating and taking over the control. That's sad. Brother, they're missing the paradox 

Matthew Grishman: of getting okay with that. This is where leadership at the top has [00:29:00] totally I know our, we're on a podcast and we're not on video, but you, you have this wonderful visual of like missing the catch, missing the catch, right?

The two handed, uh, missing the catch, which tells me you've never been a little league coach when you do that one, but that's never, never was. I know, I know. It's lovely. There's a paradox in being able to sit neutral and listen and breathe it in and hear. Where are your opportunities to get better as a leader are?

As much as that hurts, as scary as that is, and as much fear that I might have to hear the truth, and if I hear the truth I might have to deal with the truth, and dealing with the truth is hard. about where sometimes I'm not rising to the occasion as a leader. The paradox is that when you have the ability to do that and breathe that in and act different going forward, actually improve yourself as a leader going forward, you've just created something.

that is [00:30:00] absolutely, absolutely missing in today's environment, today's business environment, today's political, cultural environment, trust, trust when you can sit and listen about what it takes to be a better leader and become better at helping your team be led. You create more trust when you listen, when you breathe in somebody's gas, when you recognize What they're feeling and what they're saying.

This thing called empathy. All of a sudden now, you've filled what is often a massive trust gap. 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, yeah, that conversation, that conversation really can't happen unless the trust is in the room. Right? If the trust isn't in the room, that conversation isn't gonna happen. 

Matthew Grishman: Well, and who needs 

Jim Gebhardt: to show the 

Matthew Grishman: trust first?

Who needs to lead with the trust by being okay? Hey, I trust you to give me feedback, right? Trust has to start somewhere, right? There's so little trust in the world today when we [00:31:00] look at When media, when we look at politics, when we look at business leaders and what is their primary purpose, I mean, what, what do we trust?

I mean, you have literally the, the talking heads, the news outlets, you have literally turn on one channel and they say one thing, you turn on another channel, they say something completely else. God forbid. And they fact 

Jim Gebhardt: check and find out that it's all hot air. 

Matthew Grishman: It's all bullshit. This is what people subscribe to, and on both sides, who's doing the fact checking?

Do you believe the fact checking? Because this side fact checks this side, and this side fact checks that side, and they're both calling each other bullshit, and then you go read it all online, and you can have, on a hundred different sites, a hundred different opinions about what's true and what's not true.

I think we've kicked off here. We've got a probably another episode to talk about this, but you know, being able to rise up and be the leader within your organization that creates this culture of building future leaders, of building [00:32:00] capability, of building some clarity and some confidence and more capability within your organization.

Has an incredible impact on your community. It has an incredible impact on the lives of the people you lead and it also as an entrepreneur Creates a more valuable enterprise Absolutely down the road. Sure, which ultimately creates more capability for you as an entrepreneur looking to have impact Far beyond just making more money in your life.

So I'm I'd like to talk a little bit more about Trust okay, and and how important trust is, but maybe we should Take a break here and come back and do that for the next episode. Anything else in the world of leadership? What are you grateful for today? I love it. We're going to end the show with gratitude today.

I am so grateful that you and I no longer sit down here where all of the Anger and [00:33:00] vitriol is being thrown back and forth. You and I have decided that we don't play in that world anymore. That we kind of get to play up here. 

Jim Gebhardt: What does that mean? Up here? Since we're on a recorded podcast and there's no 

Matthew Grishman: Well, I'm waving my hand up above my head.

Uh huh, 

Jim Gebhardt: exactly. 

Matthew Grishman: You and I get to just play at a different level, it's, it's not a judgment thing, it's not a better or worse thing, it's just different, it's, it's a choice that we make where you and I spend a lot more time focusing on the things we have control over, you and I spend a lot less time attached to things we don't have control over, you and I get to play in a place where we get to accept people for who they are, where curiosity helps us understand people a little more versus always being afraid of anything that's different from, from us.

You and I get to play in a place where curiosity and human connection are the cornerstone of all the happiness and joy that we have in our lives. I'm grateful that when you and I come [00:34:00] across somebody that's different, that might see the world through different lenses, rather than instantly condemning, criticizing, recoiling in fear.

Oh yeah, let's lean in. You and I flinch forward. 

Jim Gebhardt: Mm hmm. 

Matthew Grishman: That ultimately is the difference of where we play versus what I see so much quote unquote leadership in our world playing in is that we don't flinch away. We flinch forward. And that isn't something that is a natural instinct. It's something you and I have had to practice and work at.

But we lean in and we become curious. Because what I think you and I have ultimately learned is that no matter where on the planet you're from, if you're part of this human species, we tend to have more in common than we do different. 99. 9 percent DNA overlap. I don't know, approximate, I'm not a scientist, obviously.

And because of that sameness, that commonness, you and I operate in a place where we understand what our [00:35:00] primary purpose is when we're in this place, and we stick to that primary purpose. And if an outside issue creeps in, that is going to detract us from focusing on our primary purpose. Then that remains an outside issue, and we don't bring it into the room, and we have boundary conditions that establish that, which is what allows us, I think, this opportunity to deeply connect with people and and really help them get from where they are to where they want to be, regardless of where they're from or how they see the world.

Underneath it all, I'm that hopeless optimist that still believes people are good. All people are good and good people can make shitty decisions sometimes. And we have a lot of that going on in our world today. So as I sit here and pick on the upper. echelons of quote unquote leadership in our country today, I do believe those are good people who are just making some, in many cases, bad decisions, or just decisions I don't agree with.

And that's okay. That's kind of part of what makes [00:36:00] humanity. That's what I'm grateful for today. 

Jim Gebhardt: Awesome. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. What are you grateful for today? 

Jim Gebhardt: You brought up this concept of outside issues, right? And so much of what we've done internally in the context of the four C's, right? Our structural capital has been our process.

Right. And. At the time we're recording this, we've got a little bit of a flare up with some volatility in the stock market that we haven't seen in a while. 

Matthew Grishman: Where we're 

Jim Gebhardt: having 700 up days, down days, just, you know, the volatility is back because of what's going on with outside issues. Right. And what I am unbelievably goddamn proud of is our process because as I was on zooms and phone calls with clients yesterday, all that were scheduled, none of which were panic phone calls.

They were all scheduled meetings that Lindsay did weeks or if not months ago, that the nature of the conversation [00:37:00] could be to walk them through our process and remind them of. You know, why you have this in cash, why you have this in our buffered strategies that are like having airbags in your portfolio, why this is your later money.

You don't need this money for probably seven years or better. Right. And you could have rinsed and repeated each of the comments from the clients after those calls which was, I feel so much better. Thank you for reminding me of that, right? And that, that process is battle tested because we've been through this, you know, 82 times.

Sure. That's an exaggeration for compliance, my apologies. But it, we, it's been battle tested many times. Yes. And it really gets to shine in environments like this. And when it's sunny and 72 degrees and market's nice and consistent and stable and going up and going up, oh, it went down a little, but then it goes right back up again.

When the [00:38:00] volatility comes back, that's the reminder for us to talk with our clients about our lifeboat drills. And the lifeboat drills are all about our process. And when things get nutty and when things get crazy, you go back to process. Right. Right? You go back to the playbook. You go back to the lifeboat drills.

Right? What is the reason why in, in sports at any level, they drill the fundamentals. Into the athlete so that in times of stress, there's no thinking. You just, you just do. Sure. Coach Wooden. Any of them. I mean, sure, Coach Wooden. I mean, talk about the basics. 

Matthew Grishman: What's the first thing he teaches his players to do at the beginning of the season?

Jim Gebhardt: How to put on your socks and shoes and tie them properly. 

Matthew Grishman: Right? 

Jim Gebhardt: As silly as that sounds, and I used to do that with my kids and they would bark at me. I'm like, okay, then you're not playing today. Right? I just, I just copied Coach Wooden's famous Bill Walton speech. Sure. Well, we're going to miss you, Bill.

Matthew Grishman: How much of a distraction is it to a basketball team when a player has to stop in [00:39:00] the middle of a, of a game to sit down and tie their shoes because they didn't do it properly in the beginning of the game? 

Jim Gebhardt: The game generally stops. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah, it kills all the momentum. Right. Right? It's so 

Jim Gebhardt: important to have the basics.

So the, the gratitude today is number one that We've had the opportunity to create a process. Yes. Number two, that it's been tested time and time again. And number three, that we get another opportunity to help clients new and old be reminded of the process. Yeah. If it's just got a hunch, bet a bunch, you know, wildly aggressive, speculating, that's just, that's not our cup of tea.

We love to work with clients to help them de risk their circumstances. They're already taking extraordinary risk with their business. Right. That, as we've said, and we will say 100, 000 times on this show, represents 80 percent of their net worth. Right. Our clients are exquisite wealth creators. Absolutely.

We've, 

Matthew Grishman: I don't think they need our help generally with that. They 

Jim Gebhardt: So then this de risking is [00:40:00] really valuable because the process That's where they need the 

Matthew Grishman: help, yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: The process of, of number one, recognizing how much risk they're taking, whether it be in their real estate, whether it be in their stock portfolio, whatever it is, outside of the business.

And that, I'm just so grateful that our process works. Right. And we get to do it over and over and over. It's, it's unbelievably repeatable. It's unbelievably scalable. And I'm really humbled and grateful for that today. Well, 

Matthew Grishman: you, thank you brother. Your, your gratitude reveals yet one more paradox in leadership.

Is that, don't ever, I've heard the quote before and I'm going to butcher it. Don't ever waste a good crisis. Oh, sure. The market. Is behaving the way it's behaving. I believe because of the leadership vacuum that exists in the world today, right? There's a whole new thing happening and the market's trying to figure out what's its role in this in this new environment, this new world we're in.

It doesn't sense really any strong direction, guidance or leadership, [00:41:00] and that's That tends to be when markets get super duper volatile the way they are right now. 

Jim Gebhardt: I was able to, uh, you know, you and I spent some time crafting a message for clients that went out in a 12 minute video and had some unbelievable feedback from clients.

The funniest thing was a client an hour before I recorded the video had called who she doesn't call in very often. And she's, she's been with us through thick and thin, you know, going back all the way to 08. And she left me a voicemail that said, Boy, you know, my husband and I would really appreciate one of your videos about what's going on.

There you go. And the fact that I listened to it after I recorded the video, I was like, okay, that's funny right there. That's awesome. That tells us that we were right in our timing of providing a touch. 

Matthew Grishman: Perfection. And in that video, you, you said it. As much as these times are uncomfortable. This is where you and I get to step into the vacuum and do our very best work and be the leader that our clients so much are looking [00:42:00] for right now.

And, and, and then they in turn take from our leadership and they pay it forward to the people in their lives, to their families, to their organizations. And it's just, it's probably one of the coolest little, uh, programs ever, is right? That leadership just becomes contagious. So I'm grateful we get to do that.

Jim Gebhardt: Oh, it's awesome because we're, we're providing a reinforcement to their confidence. Right? In terms of their, their money life. Yes. Right? They lean on us for that. And if they have a greater sense of confidence with that in their world, then they're able to go out and continue to make donations to their favorite charities or help their kids out with the purchase of a home or plan that vacation.

Right? Because at the end of the day, the economy is not dictated by 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Right. The economy is dictated by what the consumer does. The consumer is two thirds. of what happens economically in this country. So if the consumer is more confident, we tend to grow. When the [00:43:00] consumer is less confident, like what we're seeing right now, so in our way, in our, again, in this leadership concept, what we do with our clients is we help them feel more confident.

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: And in that process, they can then go forth and live their lives and, and be passionate about what they're doing and not necessarily listening to all the noise that is being spewed at them around. Worry, doom, scarcity, fear, all those other things. They've got a sense of reassurance and confidence that they can go, go forth.

Matthew Grishman: Well that, brother, that is our version of servant leadership, right? But I think what you and I have shared today and laid out today, the values that you and I believe in when it comes to leadership, is that of the servant leader. That it is our job as leaders to serve our constituency in a way that empowers them, that uplifts them, that helps protect their confidence, that helps them feel like they are capable within their own unique ability to be leaders in their own [00:44:00] right.

And much of our job is about clearing all of the muck and the scarcity and the crap that can get in their way of effectively doing that. And I will gladly Lay down any title, any dollar amount, any whatever it is for the benefit of being that type of leader. There's a whole other camp, there are other camps of leadership out there, right?

There's different types of autocratic type of leaders and lead with an iron fist and understand that what we're talking about and what we're trying to offer our tribe is a way to lead your people that 30 years of experience in our industry has taught us does really good for people. Not only does it do really good for people, it does really good for my soul.

I know I feel like this big ol hole in my soul that I've been walking around with for years and years and years has finally been filled up by the opportunity to serve, and I am so grateful for that. 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, then we should probably wrap this up so we can get on to the next episode. 

Matthew Grishman: Excellent. Well, then, with that, brother That's a wrap.[00:45:00] 

Thanks for joining us today on The Whole Wealth Journey. Whatever your path may look like, our purpose is to make sure that your way forward aligns with your core values and intentions. Are you ready to start planning for a future that's rich in wealth and well being then click like and subscribe And make sure you don't miss a single episode of the whole wealth journey.

So 

Jim Gebhardt: if we've struck a nerve with you today 

Matthew Grishman: Where do people go you can find us at gebhardtwholewealth. com That's g e b h a r d t whole wealth. com. And once you get there, make sure you connect with us so you can take the first steps to finding your why we'll see you next time. 

Amy Bingham: Jim Gebhardt is a registered representative of and securities offered through Brokers International Financial Services LLC, member SIPC.

Jim Gebhardt and Matthew Grishman are investment advisor representatives of Gebhardt Group Incorporated, a registered investment [00:46:00] advisor. Brokers International Financial C. Are for informational purposes only and are not intended to provide specific advice or investment recommendations to determine which investments or financial advice may be appropriate for you.

Consult a financial advisor prior to investing. Any reference to market performance is based on historical information and there is no expressed or implied guarantee of future performance. Opinions. The topics expressed on this program do not necessarily reflect those of Brokers International Financial Services, LLC.

The topics discussed and opinions given are not intended to address the specific needs of any listener. Gebhardt Group Incorporated does not offer legal or tax advice. Listeners are encouraged to discuss their financial needs with the appropriate professional regarding your individual circumstance.