Episode 151: Entrepreneurial Awareness and the Principle of the Four P's.

Experience the profound journey of personal growth and gratitude in our latest episode, where we celebrate  Matthew's milestone of 3,000 days of sobriety. We'll explore how these accomplishments are not isolated victories but part of a greater tapestry of resilience and transformation. 

Shift your entrepreneurial mindset with our insightful discussion on the critical role of awareness for business owners. Many entrepreneurs confuse high cash flow with true wealth, often to their detriment. We uncover how awareness and courage play pivotal roles in unlocking the real value of your business, enabling strategic and informed decisions. Through understanding the entrepreneurial mindset, where personal effort is seen as the ultimate job security, we equip you with the tools to navigate the complexities of business ownership.

Lastly, we guide you through the enlightening processes of slowing down to speed up, exploring potential risks, and recognizing the immense opportunities within your entrepreneurial journey. By taking meaningful action, supported by a holistic approach to wealth—encompassing numbers, relationships, play, and purpose—you can transform your personal and professional life. Through success stories and personal anecdotes, we stress the importance of integrating play and laughter into daily life, safeguarding confidence, and finding joy amidst the noise. By understanding and utilizing the principals of the 4 "P's", you'll find an understanding of a holistic outcome on your entrepreneurial journey. Join us as we continue to empower you with strategies for building a prosperous and fulfilling future accepting that you want more from your money, than just more money.

You can learn more about The Whole Wealth Journey by visiting The Gebhardt Group. You can follow us on Instagram @thewholewealthjourney

Transcript

Matthew Grishman: [00:00:00] The fact that we've built a part of the process that really helps the entrepreneur separate the controllable from the uncontrollable, and allows us to accept that. As it is, is what creates kind of the meat of the engagement, which is the action we ultimately take to get from where you are today to where you want to be.

Jim Gebhardt: Welcome to the whole wealth journey. 

Matthew Grishman: Wealth with a Y. What does that mean? What 

Jim Gebhardt: does 

Matthew Grishman: that mean? Are we spelling it funny? Uh, no, I think it's spelled we're using the word why the the word why, right. Okay, good. Not the letter. Why the actual word? Why? 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, I know why, 

Matthew Grishman: why? 

Jim Gebhardt: Because we wanna help people get on their path, and the path is all about their why, 

Matthew Grishman: and it's about aligning your finances with the people, the experience and the passions that give their lives.

True. Meaning 

Jim Gebhardt: it's getting way beyond the bank statements, the brokerage statements, the trust [00:01:00] documents, the life insurance. And taking a deeper dive into your why. 

Matthew Grishman: Well, admittedly, we're not for everyone. This is different. We're for the bold ones who really want to dive deeper and seek a life that resonates with who they really are at their core.

Who finds value in vulnerability? 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, you 

Matthew Grishman: and I do. 

Jim Gebhardt: You and I do, and that's where we wanna play. But not everybody is comfortable with that vulnerability. 

Matthew Grishman: Maybe we should introduce ourselves. What do you think? Oh, that's a good idea. Jim Gebhart. And I'm Matthew Grishman. We are the co-creators of the podcast, the whole Wealth Journey.

Ready to find your why. Then let's get started and get you one step closer to unlocking your inner wealth and wellbeing.

The fact that you didn't. At least appear on the outside to have this. Oh shit. [00:02:00] That just, you are Oh, oh shit. With what? Uh, that Matthew from a year ago was back that all of the dude, I've been with Matthew for 11 years. Oh, I understand. But the version of me that was a year ago was that that could have compared 

Jim Gebhardt: to 11 years 

Matthew Grishman: ago.

Well, 11 years ago at least, you were an active participant. You were having fun with me a year ago. Not quite as much. No. 11 years ago was a, was a different story. There was still some fun with the problems A year ago, I couldn't tell you. We'd be sitting here today. I wasn't sure, hon. 

Jim Gebhardt: Honestly, I don't remember a year ago.

Matthew Grishman: Good for you. 

Jim Gebhardt: I do. I do, but I don't, yeah. Yeah. You track that a lot more than I do. I. I can't spend the time in the rear view mirror. I can't. I have to. Yeah. Yeah. Keep going. 

Matthew Grishman: I couldn't tell you what the details were. I just know where I was a year ago because somebody taught [00:03:00] me that the only way we can measure progress is in arrears.

I. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yeah. 

Matthew Grishman: So I gotta look back every once in a while at how I was feeling, where I was, what I was doing, what I was up to, what my outlook was. And you know, a year ago I didn't know we'd be sitting here doing this 'cause I didn't want to. What I'm appreciative of yesterday is that okay, it was a day. It was just a day.

Yeah. We're all allowed to have bad mood. I also anticipate 

Jim Gebhardt: when you travel and don't get sleep what you're like, yeah, I've been around. Absolutely. I know, I know how you do that. And you do it, you, you do it and you get through it, but yeah, I know what you're like when you don't sleep. Yeah. For two to three days.

Two to three days, and you've been going and traveling and I, 

Matthew Grishman: and back in the, the old lines. I, 

Jim Gebhardt: I'm, I'm, I'm accepting. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: I'm aware. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. And I'm accepting. Absolutely. I'm wearing this for a reason. I wore a Jericho something yesterday too. Nice. I'm just, there's all sorts of like dark energy going on right now for me, and I'm just letting it be nice.

I'm letting it be, you know, yesterday was a little crabby and [00:04:00] today's a little better. Nice. So still a little crabby. I mean, look at the world we live in right now. How could I not be crabby? It's 

Jim Gebhardt: great. The market's up 9%, 

Matthew Grishman: right? 

Jim Gebhardt: What is on the gratitude list today? 

Matthew Grishman: A lot. I've got some light gratitude and I've got some heavier gratitude.

Let's start. You know what? Let's start with the heavier gratitude first, and I didn't share this earlier with you, but today, today's a milestone for me. Not one that's celebrated or talked about a lot, but for me it's an important day. Today is the 3000th day of being alcohol free. 3000th day. Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: App counter, like does it prompt you or do you actually look at it?

No, 

Matthew Grishman: I, I, I pay attention to it. Yeah, because, you know, this whole life of mine is like one day at a time kind of thing. 

Jim Gebhardt: 3000 days. That is, so today 

Matthew Grishman: is, uh, awesome. 3000 days since the day I put down that little dirty vodka martini with a couple of olives in That glass is fantastic. At the West House in Roseville, and yeah, that was 3000 days [00:05:00] ago.

Wow. Yeah, so I was kind of feeling pretty good about that. 

Jim Gebhardt: That is awesome. 

Matthew Grishman: That's left me pretty reflective today. It's left me with a lot of gratitude today. So gratitude might like seep through a lot of our discussion today. 

Jim Gebhardt: Cool. I think the world could use it. Yeah. 

Matthew Grishman: That's something on the gratitude list.

I'm also, uh, grateful on my way here. Miles sent me a text message and said, Hey, my captain. Asked me to ask you if today was a good day to buy Apple Stock. So my son is on day four as a commercial pilot for SkyWest Airlines. So today they're flying Alaska Airlines planes, and they're in Santa Rosa. Did you know Santa Rosa had an airport that flies jets?

No. Yeah, no, they do. He had an overnight in Santa Rosa last night. Go figure. So I'm beaming with gratitude that. My little boy who 3000 days ago, was front and center in the carnage. That was my [00:06:00] life, and here we are 3000 days later in that little boy of mine who was 16 back in the day, is now a almost 25-year-old young man wearing a uniform with three stripes on his shoulders, flying commercial airlines.

Being responsible for 70 to 80 souls every time they take off and land. That's super gratitude. 

Jim Gebhardt: Absolutely. 

Matthew Grishman: What do you, I got a couple more, but I just, I No, keep, keep going. Keep, keep going. You gotta a roll. You got a roll going? What are you grateful for? Dude, 

Jim Gebhardt: there's a couple. I mean, the, the week that we happen to be recording, this is the greatest golf tournament in the world, right?

I forgot it's the week. It's the week of the masters. 

Matthew Grishman: Of course. You're wearing the shirt, I forget. Of course. 

Jim Gebhardt: Of course I am. Yeah. Today's the par three. Ah. I was reflecting on the drive up that 30 years ago, and I start to feel like Grandpa, when I say stuff like this now ahead 30 years ago, 1995, my dad, my brother and I went to the Masters and I.

It was an [00:07:00] unforgettable experience. I, I'm, I'm good with certain memories and there's a lot of memories where it's like, you know, somebody says, oh, you remember when we did the, no, I have no, no idea. But I mean, I can remember so much of the two days, but the day, the one day in particular that my dad and I were walking around the most of the front nine that we made our way to the back nine and Amen Corner and just, just what a jaw dropping.

Piece of property. It is first of all. Oh yeah. How television just doesn't do it justice in any way. But that, you know, my dad's been gone two coming on three years here. Yeah. Uh, so to reflect back on that memory is pretty special. 

Matthew Grishman: Oh, yeah. Which, which was your favorite hold to pick dandelions on? 

Jim Gebhardt: Uh, all of them because you couldn't 

Matthew Grishman: Oh, really?

Jim Gebhardt: And then, you know, in this, in this sports theme, uh, there was a tremendous amount of rain at the Masters on Monday during the practice round. Okay. So much so that they closed the, closed the golf course, closed the property, kicked the patrons out. 

Matthew Grishman: Oh, wow. 

Jim Gebhardt: Most of the patrons did not have anywhere near a [00:08:00] full day of golf in terms of the practice round and walking around.

Matthew Grishman: That made that an expensive day. No. 

Jim Gebhardt: And in this day and age where everything feels disposable from the coaches and the players to even values at a higher senior level of leadership, the master's committee made a statement later that day and honored those tickets for next year. Oh, wow. So now you still gotta get yourself back to Augusta, but if you had a ticket for this week's practice round on Monday.

They're honoring it next year. Huh. And to me, that's the right direction. That feels good. Yeah. That is something I'm grateful for in the context of the sea of chaos that's going on in our world right now. Yeah. Where if it used to be up, it's down. If it used to be left, now it's right. If it was red, it's blue.

I mean, it's just, it's opposite day. Yeah. Morals, values, everything's just being completely disregarded. Yep. [00:09:00] This felt really good to just. See something like that as old school as that might sound, that gave me a little bit of hope. 

Matthew Grishman: Well, it's lead because I've been, yeah, it's leadership. 

Jim Gebhardt: I've been pretty, I've been pretty dark on this concept of hope.

Oh 

Matthew Grishman: yeah, sure. Understandable. 

Jim Gebhardt: Uh, and I'm, I'm a pretty optimistic guy. So that was a nice little nugget to see as I've been reflecting on the Masters this week. And then we just came back from a little Midwest Express last week and our oldest son Jack, is getting ready for the college decision and he's got a couple of good choices.

Shut outta California, mind you. But everybody with a 4.1 gets shut outta California schools. Of course, 

Matthew Grishman: of course. 

Jim Gebhardt: Had a great experience looking at some Midwest schools for him, in addition to seeing a little lacrosse with Grace who was back there serendipitously, and a little family visit with my niece and her little guys and her husband.

So it's always fun to go away. It's always fun to go away, but I can never think of a time when I wasn't grateful to come home. I love where I live. I love the state of California. It's [00:10:00] a crazy ass state that's stupidly expensive, but we spent time in Indiana, Ohio, Michigan, and lunch in Kentucky just to kind of tip our toe in the water and say we went to lunch in, you know, spent time in Kentucky.

Right? God bless the bridges of Cincinnati. We saw lots of lovely places. Yeah, we saw lots of sad parts of those communities, but it was the kind of thing where it's like, I can't wait to get home. I'm super grateful for that because I've, I've kinda built my life around that. Yeah. I've built my life around being where I want to be and you know, we might actually get into talking about some of these concepts in the show today.

Sure. But I've been super intentional with that for the past 33 years. Yeah. And it's really fun that it still works. 

Matthew Grishman: I appreciate that you've been intentional with that for 33 years. 'cause I have not been as intentional about that. I. In continuing the gratitude conversation. Thank you for sharing about the feelings part.

I mean, obviously I knew about your trip and I knew where you guys went and what you were going for. What I [00:11:00] didn't hear you share with me in the pregame before the show was just this feeling of gratitude of always coming home. I have so much gratitude for the fact that. You and I get to live in a place where we can get in our car and in a very short amount of time, be in a place that people travel from all over the world to come experience because of the quiet and the ability to just think.

Yeah, without the human experience and beauty in the 

Jim Gebhardt: space and all that good stuff. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, so we got 

Matthew Grishman: some good stuff to dig into today. We do, and with everything that I'm grateful for. About a week ago, I was tired and I. I slept a little later than normal. Well, by doing that, I wasn't the first one outta bed in my house in the morning.

I came out and the television was on because other people were still in the house and on the television was the news and it was loud, right? I just, I'm so grateful for Quiet in the morning. It's what I crave in the morning. It's why I usually get up so early in the [00:12:00] morning, and I felt myself so incredibly triggered.

By hearing this news, it's like, wait, where am I quiet? It's being disrupted. Old me would have reacted much differently than I did last week. When that happened, fir first, I just, I was aware of the fact that getting up early in the morning and hearing the news blaring on the TV was triggering as all hell.

Wasn't your cup of tea? No. No. Nor my cup of coffee. I was very, very aware of that. What would normally have happened at that point was I would've been blaming the people in my house for causing this angst in my life and for how pissed off I was right now that the fact that this noise was happening, the news and these people who chose to watch the news were causing this beginning of my day to just suck and I'm now gonna be pissed off for the rest of the day and I'm gonna make your life hell and your life hell.

And that's just the way I used to operate. But being aware of the fact that. Wait a minute. [00:13:00] These are my feelings, right? Nobody causes these to happen. They could trigger it and that's okay, but they're my feelings that I own. I've accepted the fact that, okay, I slept a little later. This is what's going on.

Let me do something different about this. And instead of, you know, flipping out and freaking out and demanding people do what I want them to do, I made myself a cup of coffee and I went in the other room and I sat and read a book and had a lovely peaceful morning. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yeah. 

Matthew Grishman: Now to do that required me to pay attention to some things that are very relevant to our show today.

Yeah, 

Jim Gebhardt: a hundred percent. That's 

Matthew Grishman: why I tell this story. There's this concept of awareness that can lead to another concept called acceptance that can lead to another concept called action, right? I mean, how many times? Have we felt emotionally triggered about something and we just immediately react. We take action.

Ready, fire, aim, [00:14:00] right? Yeah. Oops. I really wish I put aim in there first. Right? So the idea that if we can apply these three a's. To how we as leaders, right? We're talking about leadership and business owners and entrepreneurs, and the fact that our world is completely turned upside down and there are different emotional triggers everywhere we look.

I. From the news to the scroll, to the Instagram reel, to the stranger sitting next to us in the restaurant who's having a conversation that is absolutely making our skin crawl with what they're talking about, right? All of these triggers that exist in the world today, and the idea that we can become aware of what's happening, of these feelings that we're having, of these experiences that we're experiencing, and somehow move into this place of acceptance that they're happening.

Jim Gebhardt: Well, yeah, because in your story old you was unaware. Right? [00:15:00] Old. You would've been unaware of how that was triggering you and what, and you would've just gone right into action. 

Matthew Grishman: Yes. 

Jim Gebhardt: Said some things, done some things right. Walked in, said something, turned off the tv, just, you know, kind of snowballed, steamrolled over the top of the whole thing.

Matthew Grishman: Yep, absolutely. 

Jim Gebhardt: That concept of awareness. Is just so much a part of where we start with folks because they often are lacking the awareness, right? It takes a lot for people to be actually be aware. How often do you just go through life and just think to yourself, well, that person's not the least bit aware of.

What they're doing, what they're saying, how they're acting, their behavior, but any of that, I think that's how most mindless 

Matthew Grishman: mindlessness, that's how most people walk around in the world, including you and me there. There have been times where you and I have just been walking around the world reacting and responding to what's going on without an ounce of awareness where I share the gratitude of 3000 days without a drink, and some of the things that I've learned over these 3000 days that I've [00:16:00] been forced to feel my feelings every day.

Experience the world around me without numbing them, and the life experiences that you've had as one of my very close sober partner in crime PI mean, you know, the way you've been transforming your life, the last 3000 days that I've been is incredible. And for us to be able to bring this into our practice.

These life experiences that you and I have had this progression of becoming aware, letting that move into acceptance and allows us to take intentional action and being able to now bring that into our practice where we're helping entrepreneurs who want a little more from their money than just more money.

They want this experience, this pause button where we can help them start. With becoming aware of where they are. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yeah. So often in the workspace, in our practice, in our work world, people are introduced to us because they're at some pivotal junction in their life. Right, [00:17:00] right. Good, bad, or indifferent. And they're stuck.

They don't have clarity. And in the context of our show today, they don't have a lot of awareness over their situation. Again, good, bad or indifferent, whether it's the personal side of the shop, whether it's the financial side of the shop, whether it's the business side, they're not aware. So as you and I have have kind of picked this apart in the same context in terms of how was I building trust at lightning fast speeds with people and we kinda slowed that down and picked that apart, right?

We did episodes on that, right? You were completely 

Matthew Grishman: unaware of how you were doing that. I was completely 

Jim Gebhardt: unaware. The ironic part about the awareness here is that this is a lot of the blind spot work that we help people with because they're completely unaware Sure. To what their actual circumstance is, 

Matthew Grishman: right?

How, how many business owners have we met over the years who believe their business is worth a lot more than it really is? 

Jim Gebhardt: Um, 

Matthew Grishman: like most of them. Most of them, right? Most of how many business owners have we met over the years who have incredible cash flow in their business, [00:18:00] believe that they are worth. A lot more than they really are today, just simply because of the amount of cash flow and the lifestyle that that provides and what they need as far as ongoing cash flow beyond life in the business to support the current lifestyle.

Jim Gebhardt: Those are very eye-opening conversations. Holy cow. When we can actually sit down and engage with a client on those kinds of things and their, their awareness, the lights start to come on. It's not always a great feeling, particularly when you, you know, you think your baby's really beautiful and really smart and all of that, and you start to look at it and examine it and it's, it's not, 

Matthew Grishman: yeah.

Jim Gebhardt: So there can be a, a bit of a, a tendency there to retreat. I don't wanna No, no, I don't believe you. Wow. No. Yeah. Right. And. That's this whole concept in this awareness conversation that we constantly meet people wherever they're [00:19:00] at. That's the name of the game is when, when we start talking about these issues, we're not gonna change somebody's opinion overnight if we show them where the gap is, what their business or where their gap is, what their personal wealth relative to their ability to retire with the sale of the business.

Right. That's gotta go a little slowly because, you know, in our world today with all the craziness that's been going on Sure. If you go to bone too fast Sure. Yeah. They, they bounce outta the boat generally 

Matthew Grishman: speaking. Yes. I. But this is where you and I get to apply a little bit of the secret sauce. Oh, oh yeah.

Of the unique ability that we have of creating trust pretty quickly. And what we're also finding is, is more and more business owners that are leaning in to this idea of realizing that, you know, 80% of my net worth is locked up in this business thing I got. Unless I'm willing to really, really understand where I am today, how am I ever gonna get to a point where I can unlock that wealth in my business through some sort of transaction at some point down the road, [00:20:00] whether that's a couple years from now or a decade from now.

And so it takes courage for that entrepreneur to sit down and become aware truly of where they are, because the only way. You can begin to get the anchor off the bottom and get in motion and eventually get the anchor all the way in the boat is to take a snapshot of where you are and be aware of it and be okay with it.

Well, not necessarily like it, no, but just accept that this is where I am and this is the truth behind where I am. 

Jim Gebhardt: It takes a lot for a business owner to get there. Because they actually view their business as the safest asset they have. Sure. Yes. Because they control it. Yeah. They know it. They know the strings, the buttons, the levers, the pulleys.

They, they know how to operate this thing. Now, obviously, whatever their market is, whatever market condition their, their [00:21:00] business is in, they don't control that part, but. This awareness conversation is, is really a big deal When they step into it and they start to realize, okay, wait. I do have to do something with this business in terms of a transition.

At some point, I mean, I'm not gonna live to 150, 

Matthew Grishman: right? It is amazing how they see their own business as a safer. Investment of capital in public markets, then right then owning a diversified portfolio, percent of of publicly traded 

Jim Gebhardt: companies. Sure. Particularly when you look at what's going on in the markets right now, that's their cornerstone.

That's their bias. Stone of proof's bias. That's their bias. That's their bias. 

Matthew Grishman: Bias. And you and I have the same bias. We are aware of the bias that we have. I have this argument with my brother all the time about job security. Right. I, I will talk about how I feel. So much greater sense of job security as a business owner than I ever did working for other people in big publicly traded companies.

And he claims just the opposite. Well, how? How is that possible? Right? I've got this big [00:22:00] diverse organization I work for. My job is safer here. I need that job and income security. And you and I as entrepreneurs understand that that's just part of the plight of the entrepreneur. This, this belief in self.

Where for me it's relief. Like right now, it's on you and me right there. There's nobody else who can take my job security away. Right. It's on you and me to show up and do what we do. Leveraging our unique ability, getting better at the craft day in and day out, 1% better every day, and creating an unbelievable amount of value in people's lives that they're willing to pay us to provide that for them.

To me, that's job security. 'cause nobody can that up and take that away from me. 

Jim Gebhardt: Exactly. 

Matthew Grishman: Right. That is, that's 

Jim Gebhardt: the mindset of the entrepreneur. Yeah. 

Matthew Grishman: And sometimes it creates enough bias that we can't see the risk. That is also embedded in that mindset, and that's part of the awareness process we have to take people through.

In the beginning. 

Jim Gebhardt: I [00:23:00] love talking with a business owner where 80% of their net worth is tied up in the business and they're not aware. 

Matthew Grishman: That is fine, right? 

Jim Gebhardt: And I'll talk with them about, you know, have you ever had any buddies that were, you know, stock option babies that had most of their net worth tied up in a business?

Or have you ever played craps? Oh yeah. There was this time in Vegas where, you know, I rolled for 57 minutes and you, and you, you probably had this huge mo of chips in front of you. Right? Oh, it was unbelievable. Everybody was just, it was such a good time. And did you take any of those chips off the table at some point, or did you just keep doubling down and doubling down and doubling down?

Yeah. I kept doubling down. I mean, that's, that's the fun of it. Right? Right. That's the, that's also the mindset of the entrepreneur and when you start to wake them up to the fact that they've got this massive asset that is illiquid that yeah, they're, they are in control of, and their team's in control of, but until they start to like open their eyes to the fact that maybe I should be.

Doing things to [00:24:00] de-risk the business or doing some things to take some chips off the table, whether it's through the cash flow of the business or something else. Right. Yeah. It's just, oh, those, I love those conversations. 'cause you start, you, I mean, these are generally very smart, very driven, very hardworking folks that have been through a lot.

Yeah. And you're starting to have a conversation with them that they may never have really had with somebody else before. 

Matthew Grishman: Sure. When you and I begin that conversation with them. To see the light start to turn on in their eyes. I mean, that, that's ultimately what I think rolls our socks up and down. Sure. I mean, we're entrepreneurs.

We love to get paid. We love to see the value of our business grow, but what really, really gets you and me out of bed every day is when we see like that, that initial awareness. Mm-hmm. Where the lights turn on and there's a combination of a little bit of fear. Mm-hmm. A little bit of frustration mixed with that entrepreneurial like, holy shit opportunity.

Wait, wait. So if I'm here and I'm [00:25:00] clear, then that's what gives me the basis to get there. To get where I want to go to take the action. And it's why you and I have built this process, right, where we're helping entrepreneurs get from where they are to where they want to be, step by step by step, where it's really broken down into these three overall segments of mm-hmm.

The first part of our process, which is. I would say probably the long, at least in the beginning, it's, it's the longest part of the process is, is this awareness piece. It's this complete uncovering of every aspect of the financial life, the business life, the purpose, life, the personal life, and really examining every piece of that.

So that we can be completely aware of where we are in every aspect of my life. Then we go through some exercises, which which are coming. This is all part of the next several episodes where there's this part of [00:26:00] acceptance of being okay with where I'm at and analyzing where I'm at. Understanding that there are things that I have control over and things that I don't have control over, and you and I have intentionally created a planning process, both financially and personally, that allows us to build lots of acceptance around the things that we have control over so we can move forward and take action versus all of the bs.

That we don't have control over, that the media and social media and all is always trying to creep in and give us this illusion that we've got some power over. Sure. Right. So the fact that we've built a part of the process that really helps the entrepreneurs separate the controllable from the uncontrollable and allows us to accept that.

As it is, is what creates kind of the meat of the engagement, which is the action we ultimately take to get from where you are today to where you want to be. [00:27:00] 

Jim Gebhardt: My coach and mentor, Jim Kelly, God bless him, God bless him, used to talk about this concept that used to irritate the shit outta me because it was so heady for that was so heady.

Which one was this one? Slow down to go faster. Oh, 

Matthew Grishman: good Lord. Yes. 

Jim Gebhardt: And I remember at one point I just reached a, a, a point with him in a, in a meeting where I'm like. Okay. You throw something at 'em, okay, what? What the hell does that mean? What? What I, I just don't get it. I'm not enlightened. I'm not aware of what that concept means.

You weren't spending enough time in Marin County those days. True. Now I get it. Yeah. And for us, with our process, it's very intentional in terms of this awareness phase, right? This awareness stage. Yeah. On slowing down. The life of the entrepreneur to have the time to have these conversations and to go through some of our assessments and our tools, which, like you said, we'll get into, but that's why, you know, when you [00:28:00] spend time with us, we're not billing you by the hour.

Right. Because if anybody's billed by the hour, you just No, they don't wanna do it. You don't want to talk? 

Matthew Grishman: No, no. Well, we, we had new brand new. Entrepreneur, business owner clients that we just started beginning phases of this awareness process yesterday. 

Jim Gebhardt: I know I was gonna talk about that. 

Matthew Grishman: And he, both of them, you know, he, he owns the business.

She is an entrepreneur in her own mind, but isn't part of the business. She's kind of going down her own reinvention path. And when I slowed them down with, okay, so. We're gonna get together one more time together to go through some of this awareness stuff. But then the next thing we're gonna do is I'm gonna meet with each one of you individually and we're gonna go on a hike.

We're not gonna meet in an office, we're not gonna meet in the house. We're gonna go out on the Lake Clementine trail. And both of them, they're just, their faces and their eyes were like, wait, what? Yeah, we're gonna [00:29:00] slow this thing way down. That's slowing it down. Down. Oh, way 

Jim Gebhardt: down. And to pick on them for a second, I mean, there's no prescription for how long this takes, right?

Right. To go from the awareness and the awakening to an acceptance and then into action. 

Matthew Grishman: Right. Acceptance of what you can control so that we can get an action. 

Jim Gebhardt: Some people, this takes a long time to get off of step one. Absolutely. The couple you're referring to yesterday, that was not the case. No, they went enlightening fast speed from, okay, here's where we are.

Wow, that's not good. Okay, we accept that, and boom, they're in action. Absolutely. That's obviously very fun. I don't know how normal that is, but what we do see quite a bit is when the entrepreneur starts to awaken to the fact that, you know, maybe, maybe I don't have everything quite as buttoned up with my estate plan.

Maybe everything isn't quite as buttoned up financially or That's exactly [00:30:00] what it's, oh shit. I don't actually have a, any sense of a plan for what I'm gonna do when I sell this thing. 

Matthew Grishman: Yes. 

Jim Gebhardt: That can motivation be my goal. Rocket fuel. Yeah. To get them moving 

Matthew Grishman: that. So when you and I start the beginning part of helping them become aware, it starts with kind of unpacking their lives, unpacking their story.

We're, we're big storytellers. We love telling stories and we love learning other people's stories. As much as you and I love telling stories, I'm just as excited when people are willing to tell me their story. It's my favorite thing. I'm fascinated. Fascinated with people and their stories and how, you know, why.

How did you come to that decision? How did you come to that vote? How did you come to that? That business experience and just hearing the backstory, to me that's, that's fascinating. And I think where we were very successful with this entrepreneurial couple is that we took them through that kind of unpacking process.

Another way to describe it as an inventory. We, we [00:31:00] literally sat down with them and helped them immediately see that wealth is so much more. Then the dollars and cents you have in the bank, the business, the mattress, the cars, the jewelry, right, the, the IOUs there. There's so much more to your wealth than money, than this concept of prosperity.

You and I like to call it the four Ps. Yes, we have wealth in our people. We have wealth and our purpose in our purpose and our passions. We have wealth in how we play. We do have wealth in this concept of prosperity. Sure. Right. And you and I have always been more interested in the prosperity conversation, more about the money story than we are the money stuff.

Correct. And so when we sit down, that's the money story's a big deal too. Oh, the money story's how it all happens. That's the goods, right? That's understanding that and how that was created. [00:32:00] It gives us so much more when it comes to how we wanna plan this thing going forward than the actual dollars and cents that exist.

Right? Understanding the story that created the wealth is so valuable, and so those who are brave enough to play, particularly in a couple, oh, 

Jim Gebhardt: particularly in a, in a married couple. 

Matthew Grishman: Well, and the fun part with this couple was watching them discover new things about each other as we uncovered different aspects of their wealth.

These four Ps I. Helping them identify the most important people in their lives, the relationships that meant the world to them, the relationships that suck the life out of them, right? Just getting that out of them and having them explore that slow life down. Get outta the business for a minute and let's look at the relationships in our lives, those we truly cherish and those were feeling obligated to.

But in a perfect world that like, I'd love to kick that one to the curb. Sure. Yeah, awareness. Tons of awareness. Then we get to sit down [00:33:00] and talk about purpose. Why do you get outta bed every day? Literally, your feet hit the floor in the morning. Why the difference when your alarm goes off on the iPhone of hitting the orange snooze button versus the kind of bluish shut the alarm off button?

What forces you, what gets you motivated to shut it off versus snooze it and go back to bed every day? To hear that that's more than the business. I gotta go to work more than I gotta go to work is awesome. And to watch them just really explore this, oh well this is the part of what I do each day. And you know what, when I show up and do this, it's, I'm doing it in the business.

I'm doing it with my friends, I'm doing it with my kids. I'm the kind of the why I get outta bed every day is a fun conversation. 

Jim Gebhardt: The 

Matthew Grishman: play conversation can be 

Jim Gebhardt: interesting sometimes. Our entrepreneurial clients have so much play in their life. [00:34:00] It's overwhelming trying to manage it all 

Matthew Grishman: or, 

Jim Gebhardt: or crickets. They don't have any, they don't have any.

The business I. The business is their play. Play. What's 

Matthew Grishman: play? Why would I play? Right. Laughter I have, I have a business. I don't laugh. Right. There's nothing funny about 

Jim Gebhardt: running a business, so that tends to be a little more black and white. Yeah. And particularly for the entrepreneur that's organized their life in a way where, you know, they have the freedom of time, they have the freedom of their schedule.

Sure. Work demands are, are, are what they are, but their ability to be able to pursue those passions in terms of play, it's, and. That's fun. Even if that is a well-developed muscle for them, it's nice to then start to actually use some of the money to help align. We'll, we'll get into a lot, obviously a lot more of that later, but I, I love the play conversation.

Yeah. Because we want 'em to dream a little. What are those adventures of a lifetime that you've been putting off or, you know, the, the, the, the hobbies that you've, you know, deferred for all of these years [00:35:00] because you've been running this business. Sure. Right. They have to 

Matthew Grishman: become 

Jim Gebhardt: aware that 

Matthew Grishman: that's possible.

Jim Gebhardt: We have a long time client who's an oncology researcher and more of a, more of a, not so much a researcher, but he kind of validates oncology studies. Hmm. And a number of years ago, we were at lunch and. I was asking him like, so what do you wanna do when you retire, Dave? He's like, you know, I've always wanted to, I've always wanted to learn the guitar.

Okay. Well, what are you waiting for? What? I, I don't know. I mean, I gotta find a guitar teacher. Well, I, I bet if we, uh, if we took the rest of lunch, uh, and we've put our face in our phones, we could probably find about a half a dozen options within six minutes here. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: He sent me a video the other day of, of him at an open mic night.

Singing Johnny Cash, Folsom Prison. 

Matthew Grishman: Oh, good lord. That's awesome. 

Jim Gebhardt: And I sat there like a proud father. Right. How 

Matthew Grishman: long has he been taking guitar lessons? 

Jim Gebhardt: Like five years now, something like that. Oh wow. Okay. Four or five years. 

Matthew Grishman: Okay. So this has [00:36:00] been going on for a bit, but the 

Jim Gebhardt: singing part is what he's been the most reluctant to do.

Sure. And so to see him do this was just, I just had this wonderful text exchange with him. Uh, like, I'm just so excited and so proud of you and hey, jackass, next time you do that, you know, I live six minutes from that. Right. Little music open mic night. I'd like to, you know. Oh, be your harmony. Exactly. I'll harmonize with you.

Exactly. 

Matthew Grishman: Well, and what's cool about that is that it's not like this is designed to replace one day what his passion and purpose is. No. It's to help bring it out more. It's to help bring just more enjoyment into life. And it's incredible how many entrepreneurs are unaware of very simple joys in life, ways to play and build it into the fabric.

Of life. Yes, and and that's why we really start the conversation with how do you create laughter in your life on a daily basis? Literally, how do you laugh? During the day, where does that come from? And that just not a lot of laughter these days. No. Well, we gotta [00:37:00] manufacture it. And that's part of, you know, with what's going on in the world, how do we create that play?

How do we protect our confidence? How do we protect ourselves from constantly getting sucked into the uncontrollables? The noise? 

Jim Gebhardt: The noise. Yeah. We started the show with, with noise as a bother and. We're bringing it back because noise is a bother. Yes, and there's so much noise and so much distraction.

Today. We just did a video to clients in the last week talking about the fact that if you can focus internally, meaning not externally at everything that's going on out there, but focusing on who are those people. That are the most important. Pick up, you know, what was the old telephone commercial, you know?

Pick up. Pick up out. Reach out. Touch somebody. Touch 

Matthew Grishman: someone. Thank you. Wait, re uh, we could sing it. Isn't that the old at and t reach out and touch 

Jim Gebhardt: someone? Just try that. Yeah, just. Phone a friend that you haven't talked to or, or someone that you love that you just haven't been able to spend any [00:38:00] time with.

Reach out to 'em. Right. 

Matthew Grishman: Wow. We've always, I mean, there's some 

Jim Gebhardt: super simple things that we can do. Sure, 

Matthew Grishman: sure. 

Jim Gebhardt: And in the context of places, right? I mean, you've been to four different ballparks in the first two weeks of the season, and I'm gonna guess that most of that was with people. Yes. That you love to be with.

Yes. Right. So there's ways you can kind of combine this stuff and I bet there was a hell of a lot of laughter and a hell of a lot of play. Yes. In the process, 

Matthew Grishman: despite what's going on in the world today, we can very easily distract ourselves and get out of our own heads and our own thoughts and all this distraction by connecting with other people and their hearts.

Right. That's just you. You and I have been fierce believers. In that concept as like the number one way to protect our confidence when the world's noise is trying to keep us locked up in thought and not present is that we can immediately, the action, like for me, it's really hard to shut off the noise in my head, so I have to take an action to do it.

I [00:39:00] have to get in motion. And the way I get in motion is by connecting with you, connecting with you, connecting with somebody. Involved in my four Ps, my people, let's go have fun, let's play. And sometimes a little purpose work comes into that because now all of a sudden I'm listening and I'm connected to what's going on with you.

And that just for me creates a lot of prosperity. Not always money in the bank prosperity. No, no, no. But there's psychic. There's psychic 

Jim Gebhardt: income, right. It fills 

Matthew Grishman: the fulfillment buckets, for sure. I 

Jim Gebhardt: love to use, as you taught me the phrase, a number of years ago, from your wholesaler days, windshield time. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah.

Jim Gebhardt: I love my windshield time driving up and driving back from the studio here. It's about 90 minutes and I am developing a little bit of a habit of calling whoever comes to mind. And this morning as I was getting ready and I had a few trades to do and I little, I was kind of, you know, rushing to get out to get to the gym in order to get here on time.

I was like, Ooh. I thought of [00:40:00] three people and I got one out of the three who's been a client for 25 years. I had a fascinating conversation with him and learned some stuff about him that I, I, I, I didn't know. So that's how you get outta your head and get into somebody else's heart is just by connecting with him and spending time with him, even if it's just over the telephone.

Matthew Grishman: Absolutely. We've laid out what the four cornerstones of somebody's whole wealth is really all about these, these four Ps, and once we help people become aware. Of what that is, and it helps us become aware of where they are. Right? That's the inventory. Then once we've gathered all of that information and we understand the primary planning objectives that you come to us with, we put together a pretty big meaty proposal that lays out the scope of all of the work we're gonna be doing together over the next one to three years.

It's a pretty significant investment, not just financially, but time and energy. You [00:41:00] bet. This is where. The meat of the work starts happening. Generally that comes back with a couple of questions and then it's signed and then we get off and going and, and this is where the awareness gets deeper. We have a set of tools that we love to pull out of the tool bag.

I. That really slows this thing down. Now that we've taken an inventory and we know where we are from a wealth perspective 

Jim Gebhardt: in terms of the, on the numbers, correct? 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. The, the numbers, the relationships, the amount of play in my life, how connected I feel to my purpose and my unique ability. Now we're gonna start diving a little deeper into the individuals and that third person in the room.

That couple with a whole bunch of cool. Self-assessments. We're not gonna talk about that today. That's next episode stuff. But man, we are just getting started with creating a whole bunch of awareness about where we are and where we want to go. So sit with us again one more time, and we're gonna create even more awareness.

We'll go and we'll go a little deeper. Yeah, we'll go a little deeper. Sounds good. And with that, my [00:42:00] friend, that's a wrap. Thanks for joining us today on the Whole Wealth Journey. Whatever your path may look like, our purpose is to make sure that your way forward aligns with your core values and intentions.

Are you ready to start planning for a future that's rich in wealth and wellbeing? Then click like and subscribe and make sure you don't miss a single episode of the Whole Wealth journey. So if we've struck a nerve with you 

Jim Gebhardt: today, 

Matthew Grishman: where do people go? You can find us at ge hart whole wealth.com. That's GEB.

H-A-R-D-T whole wealth.com and once you get there, make sure you connect with us so you can take the first steps to finding your why. We'll see you next time. 

Any Bingham: Jim Gbb Hart is a registered representative of and Securities offered through Brokers International Financial Services, LLC, member SIPC, Jim Gbb Hart, and Matthew Grishman are investment advisor representatives of Gbb Hart Group, [00:43:00] incorporated a registered investment advisor.

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