Episode 152: Financial Clarity Begins With Personal Awareness

What if embracing gratitude could transform how you experience life's fleeting moments? Everything is temporary and the need to slow down to reflect on expectations for the future is a requirement. That has to start, however, with recognition that one must be aware in the first place.

Discover how fostering awareness in both personal and  professional relationships can lead to profound growth. We'll talk about the concept of "memory dividends," and the value of investment of time or money or both, where revisiting past memories helps one transition from unconscious incompetence to a state of conscious competence in the journey of awareness. This process, steeped in intentionality and trust, involves facing blind spots and creating spaces for honest conversations. Learn how building awareness enables you to navigate your path more effectively, creating room for growth and opportunity in a variety of settings. 

Uncover the secrets to better communication and financial alignment within partnerships, particularly for couples. Through tools like the Colby A Index, we explore how understanding individual decision-making styles can reduce resentment and enhance cooperation. By embracing differences and focusing on strengths, couples can complement each other more effectively. Learn about actionable insights like personal financial checklists that strengthen partnerships, emphasizing the value of honest self-awareness and open communication as they prepare for future transitions. Join us as we share the enthusiasm for the journey of self-discovery and growth ahead.

As you heard mentioned in the show, simply text us your email address and we'll get you the "Personal Financial Checklist" immediately. You can find the "text us" link at the very top of the show notes. 

Chapter Timestamps

 (00:00) Gratitude for Life's Moments
(07:18) Fostering Awareness in Business Relationships
(20:12) Understanding Communication and Financial Alignment
(28:57) Financial Alignment and Partnership Strengths
(35:38) Embracing Honest Self-Awareness

Learn more about The Whole Wealth Journey and get periodic updates or helpful content by getting on our email list HERE. Entrepreneurs, exit strategies and personal financial planning before the sale are topics you can count on every episode.  You can follow us on Instagram @thewholewealthjourney. 

Transcript

Matthew Grishman: [00:00:00] I don't know. I'm still hung up on why I get surprised every once in a while when we meet somebody who just screams incredible success. Smart gets, it has 99% of the world buttoned up, but yet there are these couple of blind spots they haven't dealt with yet. That still surprises me. 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, 

Matthew Grishman: what is that 

Jim Gebhardt: in a word?

Sure. Or three. What else? It's in two words. It's lack of awareness.

Welcome to the whole wealth journey. Wealth with a Y. What does that mean? What does that mean? Are we spelling it funny? 

Matthew Grishman: Uh, no, I think it's 

Jim Gebhardt: spelled we're using 

Matthew Grishman: the word why the, the word why, right. Okay, good. Not the letter y, the actual word. Why? 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, I know why. 

Matthew Grishman: Why? 

Jim Gebhardt: Because we wanna help people get on their path.

Then the path is all about their why, 

Matthew Grishman: and it's about aligning your finances with the people, the experience and the passions that give their lives. True. 

Jim Gebhardt: [00:01:00] Meaning it's getting way beyond the bank statements, the brokerage statements, the trust documents, the life insurance. And taking a deeper dive into your why.

Matthew Grishman: Well, admittedly, we're not for everyone. This is different. We're for the bold ones who really want to dive deeper and seek a life that resonates with who they really are at their core. Who finds value in vulnerability? 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, you and 

Matthew Grishman: I do. 

Jim Gebhardt: You and I do, and that's where we wanna play. But not everybody is comfortable with that vulnerability.

Matthew Grishman: Maybe we should introduce ourselves. What do you think? Oh, that's a good idea. Jim Gebhart. And I'm Matthew Grishman. We are the co-creators of the podcast, the whole Wealth Journey. Ready to find your why. Then let's get started and get you one step closer to unlocking your inner wealth and wellbeing. Hey, what are you grateful for today?

Jim Gebhardt: This is the culmination of Grace's lacrosse career. Oh. It is [00:02:00] senior year at uc Davis, and I am so unbelievably grateful that I can go to these games that I can witness The show that she's putting on her senior year, which is pretty much been the show she's been putting on all four years. But this one's just a little, little extra special because it's the finale, it's the final act.

She started playing lacrosse in third grade. Wow. The very first year, they started having a little kitty club thing in Lafayette and a couple of those dads are coming to the game on Saturday. Our high school coach is coming to the game on Saturday. We just we're back east watching two of our games in the Midwest.

We've been down to San Diego a couple times. We're going down for the final season game in San Diego, which will probably determine whether or not they make it into the big 12 playoffs. That's awesome. Just to have the, the freedom of schedule, the [00:03:00] freedom of money, the freedom of time to be able to do what it is I wanna do when I wanna of relationship 

Matthew Grishman: of, yeah.

Right. All of it. 

Jim Gebhardt: I am so unbelievably grateful for that. 

Matthew Grishman: That's awesome, dude. 

Jim Gebhardt: It is good and bad, right? Awareness. We're talking a lot about awareness. I'm very aware of how fast this has all gone, and so I'm just trying to milk these last few little nuggets of competition. Because when it's over, it's over.

Right. It's not like she's going on to the professional lacrosse league. Sure. Right. So how do you slow it down? How do you slow time down? Right now, I just sit there at different times. Like we get there early for the home games because there's a pre-game thing that Beth and one of the other moms coordinates, and it's a little tailgate, but it's not really a tailgate 'cause it's up in the stadium and we get there early and we, you know, I'm, I'm generally the only fan parent.

That is standing out in the stadium when they come in for their [00:04:00] pregame warmup. Okay. And I get so much satisfaction outta that because half the girls on the team, you know, I'll do something funny. Like I'll do a, I'll do a Draymond right away where I, I flex my, my biceps, you know, like, Hey, do you guys know of a good, uh, veterinarian around here?

Uhhuh. Oh, why is that? Oh. 'cause my pythons, I mean, they're just my, they just, they hurt massive. You know, we'll do some fun. There's music going, and I'll do some funny little dance and I'll get some engagement and grace and I do the little, little hand signals. The little hand signals back and forth. Yeah, sure.

So that's how I slow it down. 

Matthew Grishman: Good. 

Jim Gebhardt: The, the team has been riddled with injuries, particularly acls, MCLs, acls, all just, 

Matthew Grishman: that's alphabet soup for bad knees. Right. Wow. 

Jim Gebhardt: It's, it's been just, yeah. Unbelievable to watch. Yeah. To see these young women out competing in the sport that they love and playing at the level that they're playing at.

Sure. And all that resistance and all that fear and all that. Well, what if and when they [00:05:00] score, it all slows down. For me, it's, it's the coolest feeling because. I mean, I haven't been in the weight room with them. I haven't been in the PT rooms with them. I haven't, you know, I've had my own little journey with that stuff, so I kind of know in my own little way what that's been like.

Sure. But knowing what they've gone through and then to see them have that kind of success, I. Oh, it just that, that's how it, that's how it all slows down. 

Matthew Grishman: Well, I mean, just the, the memory dividends that you're collecting along the way. Ah, so awesome. Right. Is also part of the technique of how we slow things down.

Right? I mean, this, this is some of the first initial part of the awareness is, is helping people see just how quickly time clicks by and how limited a resource time is, right? As an entrepreneur. We've learned that money is a resource that we can go make more of. Most entrepreneurs believe that you know, Hey, I can go make more money.

It's money I'm, that's what I do. I know how to make money. And [00:06:00] at times we also know how to make more energy, right? We can rest and refill the energy tank, but the one thing we as entrepreneurs have not figured out yet is how do we make more time? I don't know that the laws of physics allow for that to happen.

So just the fact that you and I have put some emphasis on this sable, meaning slowing time down, expanding time that exists with these tiny little exercises, these tiny, little intentional acts. Oh yeah. How often when the whistle blows and there's a timeout? Are you pulling this out of your pocket phone outta your pocket to check the market, to check the email, to check the text messages, to look something up on Chrome, to Google to perplexity?

Jim Gebhardt: No, no. I'm, I'm generally engaging with one of the other parents that are sitting around us. 

Matthew Grishman: Outstanding. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yeah. 

Matthew Grishman: Right. It's the fast [00:07:00] forwarding through the ads in the commercials of life that we've gotta get outta the habit of doing. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yeah. We get there early. Right. And. We don't rush out. We don't leave when the whistle blows and the game's over.

Matthew Grishman: Part of my gratitude is, I mean, it's still baseball. It's still early in the baseball season, so I've still, I'm still riddled with gratitude about baseball season. The first two weeks of the season, I got to go to four different ballparks and experience one of my favorite things in one of my favorite places, being a ballpark with some of my favorite people.

First game I went to. Was in Cincinnati opening day with a very close family, an adopted family. They've adopted me as part of their family. We're celebrating somebody who was playing that day in Cincinnati for the San Francisco Giants, and being with that family, some of my absolute favorite people on Earth to celebrate that as well as I got lots of [00:08:00] time by myself.

I got to be with me. I traveled alone. Myself, and it was just great to have me time. The second game I went to was with in New York with Mom, dad, Hank, and Jill, Daniel and Jillian, and two of the girls, two of his three girls. And to be able to be with them at City Field, one of the most amazing baseball venues on earth.

It was incredibly special. Game three. Well, and the, 

Jim Gebhardt: and the, and the parking's free. So I mean, why wouldn't you go 

Matthew Grishman: when you go with Hank? Parking's always free no matter what. And then game three, you and me, right? You and I got to go to a Giants game and watch that same friend of ours, pitch his ass off.

Have a great game. Yep. And I think we were the last ones to leave the stadium pretty close. We were some of the first ones there and I think lit literally as we looked around the seats in the stadium. Yeah. There wasn't much. There were not there, there were a lot more seagulls, uh, eating [00:09:00] bits out in the bleachers than there were people in the entire stadium.

And of course, the, the fourth game with Amy. We get to go watch the Mets and the as I am beaming with gratitude, that I'm able to slow time down by creating these memory dividends. I don't know about you, but the time I do spend in this thing, in this phone, a lot of it is cashing in on my memory dividends.

It's looking at how creatively Apple has now organized the photos in my iPhone, where now it can organize 'em by trips and memories and events, adventures. I mean, it's got the early days of you and me here, and so when I'm in this thing 

Jim Gebhardt: as you're holding up your phone, 

Matthew Grishman: correct? Mm-hmm. It's actually slowing time down as I'm going through some of those memory dividends.

It's, it's wonderful. So I'm, I'm, I'm grateful for all of that. 

Jim Gebhardt: Awesome. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: Awesome. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah, so let, let's continue this awareness conversation. Absolutely. Because we got more, 

Jim Gebhardt: we got more to do. There's, there's lots that we're gonna get a little bit more into the how I think today in [00:10:00] terms of what, what do we do once the client has signed the proposal and we start to engage, right?

How do we 

Matthew Grishman: start creating a little more awareness 

Jim Gebhardt: and it's through some tools that we've developed that, again, so much of what we're about is intentionality. The intentionality around these, these questionnaires, these checklists, these assessments, whatever you wanna do is part and parcel to the fact that we need to put a marker down for where are we now?

No attachment, no judgment, no. We don't care where you're at right now, but we've gotta put a line in the sand. To be able to measure in it. You know, going back to your last episode, your three, your 3000th day of sobriety, right? Mm-hmm. We wanna be able to measure 300 and 920, 703,000 days from now. The progress that you've made from today with where you're at with these different assessments, right?

What, yeah. And all of this is [00:11:00] driven to fostering this new awareness muscle on where you're at. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. What, what I love is when they first come in. And even before we've gone through the four Ps and created this proposal there, you know, the, the, these four kind of stages of awareness, right? And seeing our new entrepreneur relationship that we're developing and having somebody come in at this place where we would call it unconscious incompetence, right?

Where, where someone is completely unaware of what they don't know, right? And, and. It doesn't really require any effort to be in that space, right? We're just kind of going through life completely ignorant and not knowing what we don't know, and it's sometimes it's a lovely place to be. Where we kind of smack 'em in the face with the proposal that we send them is the first dose of the next level of awareness, which is [00:12:00] conscious incompetence.

Where all of a sudden we now become aware of what we don't know. Yeah. What we don't know. Yeah. Right. And, and that to get to that place where there's even a little bit of acceptance that I know what I don't know, it takes a, a significant amount of effort to get there. And so, so our process is really designed for the bold and the most courageous of entrepreneurs who are willing to hold the mirror up.

And become aware of what they're not aware of with their partner. 

Jim Gebhardt: Absolutely. Not. Their business partner, their life partner. Right, right. Absolutely. And have some of these ooey, gooey conversations around this stuff in, in order for us to be able to have this, these kinds of conversations, there has to be a truckload of trust in the room.

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: That A, we have no judgment over this. Wherever you're at, B, we're not spreading it all over town. It's a confessional. As [00:13:00] far as our. Future version of this show eventually being the Jew and the Gentile. Right. We are gonna use the confession, confidentiality. The confidentiality around. Yeah. 'cause we have clients where we've got multiple partners in the same business and I mean, we don't, we wouldn't be in business today if, if we were blabbermouths about any of this 

Matthew Grishman: stuff.

Your story is not mine to tell, right? Sure. We have legal and moral obligation as fiduciaries. To maintain confidentiality at all costs. But I mean, let's just be good humans for a second here and realize that for me to be, what's that? A good human. Yeah. Right. In today's world, that's an endangered species.

That's a completely endangered species. I think within our tribe, there are a lot more good humans than we think. I total, sidebar tangent. Now that you've opened up this, can I do believe there are a lot more good people in the world? It's when those good individual people get together in groups that all of a sudden things start getting a little wonky little group.

Think I am. I'm that like you. I'm an optimist and I do [00:14:00] believe that every human being is born good, and I believe every human being is good by nature. I believe good people can make shitty decisions, can make bad decisions, can even border on evil decisions. I am just of the nature that I don't believe there are evil people in the world.

I believe everybody. Everybody is good at heart and sometimes they can get really, really jaded into making really bad decisions. Generally because of fear. I. They're not aware and they're unaware, right? So when they come see us and we take them through this process where they go from an unconscious level of incompetence to a conscious level of incompetence, we then can start creating some conscious competency where now we are aware of what we know, and we're working pretty hard 

Jim Gebhardt: at the simplest way I've ever been able to think of this little matrix I.

Is blind spots. [00:15:00] 

Matthew Grishman: Yes, 

Jim Gebhardt: absolutely. Blind spots. And you and I have been very passionate about this concept because so often that's what takes people out. They're blind spots. They're blind spots. Sure. Little, 

Matthew Grishman: little, little ones. 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, I mean, think of just the, the perfect analogy of a, of a car crash, right? How often all the new tech and all these new cards is to help.

Right. It's not make you aware of these blind spots. It's not right in front of you. No. It's the blind spot. It's the blind spot that gets you Right. Right, right. And the, the same applies here from the context of. Whether it's a health issue or a relationship issue or a spending issue or a, you know Sure.

Matthew Grishman: An estate planning. Remember the, what does the name Joe Robbie mean to you? Yes. Remember the name Joe Robbie, it, billionaire football team owner of the, it brings, 

Jim Gebhardt: it brings a, a wonderful memory of, of that era, of the Miami Dolphins. Sure. To mind. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: And then an amazing human 

Matthew Grishman: with a blind spot 

Jim Gebhardt: given our business.[00:16:00] 

Then it quickly, like all the air leaves the room and the balloon and everything else, and I feel totally sad. Of the missed opportunity with the blind spot of his estate plan. 

Matthew Grishman: Yep. Missing a couple little life insurance policies. Well, a couple big insurance policies, but a very simple miss. Right. How about our boy Tony Soprano?

James Gandolfini, yeah. One of the most successful actors of all time with Sopranos blind spot. He decided with his second marriage to split his estate evenly between his children from his first marriage and his current wife. He died unexpectedly and what happened, half his estate wound up getting estate taxes where the whole thing could have been passed on with some very simple advice by making his spouse.

His primary beneficiary, right. With the Mari Unlimited Marial deduction. There are these kinds of little blind spots, and I am, I don't know why. I am still surprised by this when you and I sit down with an entrepreneur, a business owner who's created a 150, $200 million [00:17:00] business, and we haven't uncovered the blind spot of the estate planning opportunity yet now.

Great. Hey, I'm grateful because that's job security for you and me. As professional blind spotters who love taking people through the process of going from unconscious incompetency all the way through the knothole of conscious competency to where we almost get to an unconscious competency because now we just, I.

We just do it. It just becomes automatic where we just, this is how we operate. I love watching people go through that process, but I'm still, I don't know, I'm still hung up on why I get surprised every once in a while when we meet somebody who just screams incredible success. Smart gets, it has 99% of the world buttoned up, but yet there are these couple of blind spots they haven't dealt with yet.

That still surprises me. 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, 

Matthew Grishman: what is that 

Jim Gebhardt: in a word? Sure. Or three what out It's, it's in two words. It's lack of awareness. 

Matthew Grishman: Which 

Jim Gebhardt: is 

Matthew Grishman: three words in [00:18:00] me. No. Well, I know what it is in them. What's it, why am I still surprised? I'm, come on. Is this all about me? Me? Dude. 

Jim Gebhardt: You would think, you would think after all the time that it has existed with general awareness of these concepts, particularly let's say in estate planning, right?

That someone like that would have everything buttoned up. Yeah. I, I, I, I think it's, I mean, I, I've gotten to my own level of acceptance around the fact that. Most people don't have their financial house in order. Right, right. They just don't. Sure. Because it, it, it's always one of those things where they know they need to do something.

They don't necessarily know what the something is or who to do that with. Therefore they go back to the, the burning pot on the front of the stove and they put that in the, you know, in the, in the back burner until it becomes 

Matthew Grishman: important or urgent. Not even important. We know it's important until, yeah, 

Jim Gebhardt: they're diagnosed with something.

One of the five Ds I. Yep. [00:19:00] And now they gotta take action. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: Right. I don't have that feeling. I've just, you're not surprised. I'm not surprised. Yeah. I'm still not surprised. Yeah. 

Matthew Grishman: Right. Yeah. Yeah. Some, you know, I just, I, I, I guess deep down I have this, maybe I, I don't know, maybe it is an expectation that for someone to get to that place in life.

Professionally and financially and personally, that there just has to be steps in certain boxes that need to be checked along the way. And it just, it's amazing how sometimes those boxes are missed because of just some simple blind spots. But what is 

Jim Gebhardt: the, what is the, uh, to go back and, uh, use one of our favorite words from your cousin?

What is the blur in all of that? Right? What is the combination of the blessing and the curse of the entrepreneur, right? The blessing and the curse. Of the entrepreneur is they go 700 miles an hour. Yes. In 700 directions. Yes. So consequently the ability to be distracted with new opportunity, a new challenge in the business.

A new investment opportunity. [00:20:00] That's all the basic blocking and tackling, right? It's not optional, right? We are insistent on making sure that the blocking and the tackling, I mean, I've been involved with cases and clients where, you know, they bring their insurance policies in for review their life insurance policies, and I'll be like, Hey Tom, you know, your ex-wife is still the beneficiary in this life insurance policy.

Matthew Grishman: Hmm, 

Jim Gebhardt: no, that's not, no, come on. That's not possible. Here. I mean, here it is. Sure. Right now that's a, you wanna see somebody go into action, right. From awareness. Right. There's no acceptance. They just, they just skipped right over to action. Like, no, we have the form for you to change it. Here it is right here.

Yeah, sure. I mean, we can, we can anticipate that. Sure. 

Matthew Grishman: I want to be impossible to misunderstand. This is not a judgment thing. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not judging the business owners like, you know, shame on you for not. Right. It's just like, wow. That that's still, and I guess James Gandolfini, right?

Exactly. Right. I mean, we could probably say Michael Jackson's [00:21:00] estate, right? I mean, we could, I mean, 

Jim Gebhardt: Prince's estate, I mean, there's. This is modern day stuff. Right, right. I mean, we, I mean, Joe Robbie was a, a bit ago. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: But, 

Matthew Grishman: but people from today. Yeah. And what, and, and you're right. I mean, it, it, it is the play to the entrepreneur.

They're blowing and going, and what you and I often find the balls that get dropped most, and it's not that the balls get dropped, they just never get dealt with. Usually the personal stuff, right? The business is great. Yeah. Like most business owners that you and I come across, I mean, sure, they might think their business is worth a little bit more than it is, but generally speaking, it's a pretty well-oiled machine.

Yeah. Right there, there's some things that need a little bit adjusting, and if we're gonna help you maximize the value of this thing over the next three to five years, then here are some things we need to get done. But for the most part. That thing is, as you would say, right, right, correct. Where they're not is on the personal planning side and the personal financial planning [00:22:00] side.

More and more and more like this most recent client, and this is where I love the tools that we use to help create awareness and for those brave enough to dive in and go, okay, I wanna learn where I'm at. I wanna understand the truth of where I am because I recognize that most of my net worth is locked up in this thing.

We've just gotta get prepared to be able to harvest that wealth out and then use that wealth and set it up in a way that it supports what matters most to us for the rest of our lives. Whatever life 3.0 looks like, whatever that next act looks like. And so when we can first sit down and offer a tool called the kolby analysis, right, the kolby A Index, and have both in the party, both.

Partners in the partnership go through this initial kolby analysis, what they discover about how they take action. Fascinating. And, and, and with this last newer client that we're [00:23:00] working with, what I shared with them is this Kolby analysis, which measures, you know, Kathy Kolby created this, it measures kinda the hard wiring of how you make decisions.

Unlike Myers-Briggs, where, you know, if you wake up on the wrong side of the bed like I do every third Wednesday of the month, you might have a different result. The conative wiring of how you make decisions. About how you act and react to external stimuli, right? That's kind of hardwired and it generally does not change over time.

So I shared with them that you and I started using this tool. You started using it years before you met me. I learned about it similarly through my corporate life, and here we come together and we both love the same tool. Selfishly, it was a tool that you and I used to learn how to best communicate with our clients.

Yep. Right. We wanted to learn whether or not they needed lots of information to make decisions or whether they were three bullet point executive summary. People like you and me, I. How good are they at [00:24:00] following through on things they say they're going to do? Like if we send them a proposal, are they going to sign that proposal and send it back to us, or is it gonna take a little nudging for us to help them follow through on the things they need to follow through with?

Or some of the assignments that we give them, like the worksheets we're about to talk about. Right. Do people, the, the, the implementer category of whether. They need to touch and feel something or whether they can Yeah. See it in their brain. Right, right. And, and, and then how do we communicate with them based on what we learn about how they take action?

What I love is how we've started to see, especially with the entrepreneurs we're working with, where one is part of the business and one is actively not part of the business. How they start learning about how to communicate with each other. When they start seeing, oh wow, that makes a lot of sense. Now 

Jim Gebhardt: we like to have a little fun with this exercise.

Oh, it's fun From, from the standpoint of helping them be more aware of their [00:25:00] partner's natural style. Mm-hmm. Right. You know, has an indirect benefit of helping us understand. Okay. Like you said, executive summary here, three bullet points and with the partner, we're actually gonna explain, you know, and source the parts, like where all the watch parts came from and you know, what the weather was like on the day that those parts were manufactured.

Right. And all of that that is intended to, to kinda serve. How does the client do best? Yes. Learn best, act best. Right? Who's the client that we need to really be working with on the follow through? Right. I. Because generally for them to be successful in life, one of them has been better at follow through than the other.

Matthew Grishman: Oh yeah. Right. Well, in this, in this case with this couple, what was really cool to see was one of them had a very high tendency for follow through and one of them did not. There 

Jim Gebhardt: you go. 

Matthew Grishman: And what was really cool was the one who has the high follow through tendency looked at the, the spouse who did not, and all of a sudden had a little bit of grace and compassion for them.

Like, oh wow. So I've been getting. Irritated with [00:26:00] you over the years with how you handle certain things. 'cause you 

Jim Gebhardt: don't. '

Matthew Grishman: cause you don't. And I've been a little resentful over the fact that it's me. Who's handling a lot of those things, but now that I understand, this is just not how you're wired. And I'm starting to see how much more, I mean, again, these are my words, not their words, but in essence starting to see how as a couple, we might actually benefit from the fact that we have a little bit of.

Yin and yang here. Sure. Right. Sure. And then it's not about having resentment for the fact that you don't do what I do. Mm-hmm. It's rather how we now start to compliment one another. There's a couple that's been married for, you know, a bit. A bit. Right. To see them discover that about each other. Yeah, that's fun.

And and strengthen their partnership as a result. That tells me that when we get to the other side of that exit plan, when we're in life 3.0, they got a good shot at being okay. Right. It's awesome right now once we figure out how people take action, right? How they do stuff, this is where the next four [00:27:00] worksheets really start to get to bone.

They get to it. We, we have this kind of high level dreams and visions worksheet that just helps people figure out. Kind of how they see money showing up in their lives. Like what are the main purposes in like five or six different categories Yep. Of how money is meant to serve them. And it's a great little, great little snackable as you would like to say.

Yep. To, to kind of get us started before the next three checklists, which really dive deep where we are looking at professionally AKA, our purpose personally and financially. How satisfied we feel with all these different aspects of our lives. It's such an incredible exercise. 

Jim Gebhardt: It's a, it's a self and awareness.

It's a self, it's a self assessment and awareness. Yes, yes. Right? Yes. And because they're doing this in advance of us getting together as a, you know, as a kind of a homework assignment. They have plenty of time to think about this stuff. And what [00:28:00] we encourage is just be brutally honest with yourself. Yes.

There's no, there's no judgment here. There's no grade, there's no, you know, nothing. Nothing's bad gonna happen. So be really honest with yourself. Where are you at? 

Matthew Grishman: Yep. 

Jim Gebhardt: And then what we do is kind of, you know, we like to hold them up, you know, visually take their two assessments. Right. The, in a married couple.

Well, I mean, but in terms of one, let's say the financial life checklist, the individuals Right, right. And kinda hold it up like an x-ray. Yeah. And shine it into the light to be able to see where do things overlap. Right. Where are things not aligned? Right. And who's feeling better about this or that, or worse.

And that's really helpful because that allows us the opportunity to be able to, again, slow down the conversation. Mm-hmm. And unpack what is it about the level of financial education that you have, or what is it about your ability to communicate money issues with your partner [00:29:00] that on a scale of one to five, with five being the highest year of one, 

Matthew Grishman: wait, you guys are gonna ask me questions like that?

I thought it was just gonna be like, how satisfied are you with the level of insurance benefits you have? 

Jim Gebhardt: Oh, yes, exactly. Oh, we, 

Matthew Grishman: oh, we get d Well, and that, and that's, I think, you know, let's, let's rewind the tape here for a second. The, these three assessments are 20 questions. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yeah. 

Matthew Grishman: That, do you know, how do you feel about.

I'm satisfied with certain financial aspects, but then, you know, we are gonna get a little deeper. And you rate yourself one through five. I'm not satisfied. Two, I'm very satisfied. And like you said, we hold them up and, and what we're looking for are those outliers. Where is there a lot of alignment between the partners, where they both feel incredibly unsatisfied, dissatisfied, or completely satisfied?

And then where are the outliers, where they're on different pages? And to be able to, at this point recognize, this is where we introduce this concept where we've got three different players that we're [00:30:00] accounting for here in the room. There's partner A, there's partner B, and then there is this entity called We called we.

There's you. There's me, and there's we. And the whole point of going through these different checklists. Is to be able to see where there's we, where there's you, and where there's me, and building a plan that reflects equal amount of importance on those three different individuals. It's not about right and wrong, it's about making sure that all three of those players in the room are connected.

That the financial resources meant to support the greatest hopes and dreams and aspirations of those three different players are accounted for, right? Right. How can you and I sit down together and support her? How can you and I sit down together and support him? How can we support them? It's a fabulous exercise [00:31:00] in creating some awareness and to see how the lights come on in their eyes about, ooh.

I didn't know that about you. Now that I know that about you, I'm even more excited about what Life 3.0 could look like. The discoveries within relationships. 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, and that gets into a little bit of the acceptance phase of this. Yes. Right. In in the context of which we're getting our head of ahead of ourselves.

But that's okay. We're we're almost 

Matthew Grishman: done with this part. Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yeah. But. Like, to your point on, I was feeling some resentment over the fact that I was always the one to be doing the follow through, but it's really not your natural style and having some acceptance around the fact that as a team, right. In the, in the concept of of we, let's actually celebrate that.

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: Let's actually harness that. 

Matthew Grishman: Yes. And 

Jim Gebhardt: not, not try to, I mean, one of my favorite summer interns of all time. Was a graduate of St. Mary's University [00:32:00] and she's now in her early forties, and I just did, she's a client. I just did a review with her not too long ago and I said, you know, I still remember that first real conversation we had around, what's your big takeaway from our experience together?

And she's like, you know what? I spent my entire academic career from first grade through senior year of college trying to improve my deficiencies. Hmm. Trying to get better at the things I'm not good at. 

Matthew Grishman: You just poked a itch on me 

Jim Gebhardt: and you're the first person in my entire life that said, forget all of that.

Yeah. We just need to zero in on your absolute unique ability, the gift that you've been given, and we need to absolutely drive that as far as you can take it. Sure. And that's where I get excited when we do these assessments and and checklists with folks [00:33:00] because it's not a competition. If there's competition in the room, like you're feeling competitive, an energy between the couple, which is natural, which can happen.

Yeah. We try to diffuse that with the concept of, okay, let's pick on a baseball team. Right? Does the pitcher catch? Generally not. Does the catcher pitch. 

Matthew Grishman: Generally not. 

Jim Gebhardt: Right. So the simplest analogy is, let's use the strengths of the different people that we have on the team to get us to the promised land of where we're trying to go.

Absolutely. That's how we're gonna get there faster. Absolutely. By slowing this down, looking at where the strengths are and just. Accelerating those. Right. Accelerating 

Matthew Grishman: those strengths. Teaching couples how to collaborate with one another. Yeah, because it, I mean, look, I, 27 years I've been married and very quickly can fall into this competitive thing with, with my spouse and I love how we kind of take the, almost like the Steph Curry, come on, let's get to your world of basketball, right?

The, the Steph Curry, LeBron [00:34:00] James thing that's been going on for years that most people think is competitive. Most people think. Steph Curry and LeBron James had been competing against each other for all these NBA championships that they were going against each other for all these years. And here's little secret, they were not the only person Steph Curry competes with when he steps on the court every day is himself yesterday.

Same with LeBron James. So the two of them, I can't wait for them to both be retired and start telling stories about this stuff. I'm gonna predict that they will one day tell stories about how they helped each other become great. And how they relied on each other to become the best versions of themselves.

And you know what? Some years you got the trophy and some years I got the trophy. But brother, I'm grateful we got to do that together. And we got most of them and we, you and I together got most of them. Exactly. To be able to show that to a couple is awesome. Hey, I want to, we didn't talk about this ahead of time, but I'm like making a little executive decision.

I think for our [00:35:00] tribe, we should give away one of these checklists. Reach out to us. Totally. Let's give away the personal financial checklist. Sure. Go through it. Take a little assessment of yourself. Become a little more aware. In the show notes, you're gonna see a link for where you can text us and reach out to us to get a copy of our personal financial checklist.

In the text message, you gotta give us an email address so that we can send that to you. 

Jim Gebhardt: We would strongly encourage you to do it with your 

Matthew Grishman: partner. We'll get two copies, right, and, and do them individually. Do not sit down and do these together. What you're going to get is 20, 20 different questions. This is not a difficult exercise.

I bet you if you get your head outta the way and just let your gut roll, you're gonna go through and you're gonna rank these 20 different areas of your financial life. I am satisfied one to five. I am not satisfied. Two, I'm very satisfied and you're gonna go through these 20 [00:36:00] different questions that are gonna look at every aspect of your personal financial life and help you develop a little bit of awareness about where you really feel good about yourself, where you're incredibly confident in your financial life, and then some areas where you're not as confident.

In your financial life. And what's really cool is when you and your partner sit down and put those two together and see where you have overlap, and see where you have differences, and then work together as a team to try to build more confidence in those areas where they're lacking. 

Jim Gebhardt: And do all of us a favor and answer it absolutely critically.

Honestly. Yes. Don't. Do some charade where you're scoring yourself better, but when really when you stop and you think about it, I, I, I don't feel good about this, but you gave yourself a three. 

Matthew Grishman: I appreciate you saying that. 

Jim Gebhardt: Right? Because we all wanna do well on any kind of an exam, and sometimes I feel as though this [00:37:00] feels like an exam, but it's not.

It's not. It's an, it's an awareness tool to be able to say, this is where I am in my life, on my personal financial to-dos. Wow. If you're on the fence on a number, round it down. Right. If, if you have strong conviction on something, hit it, 

Matthew Grishman: dude, come 

Jim Gebhardt: on. But don't but don't be wishy-washy and Okay. No, I'm gonna get 

Matthew Grishman: myself a, I'm gonna round that one up.

We're entrepreneurs. We're not on the fence about shit. It's a matter of being honest with yourself. Yes. That's what this is about. That's what we're asking. You wanna like pass the test? I'm gonna sleep fine tonight. No matter what you score on the test. If you want to get the best out of this, the most out of this, be honest with yourself.

Yes. Be honest with yourself. See where you're at. That's where the real progress happens. You can't get the anchor off the bottom an inch until you're honest with where you are so that you can start to see where you want to go. And again, the suggestion is do this with your partner, but [00:38:00] do it separately.

And if you'd like some help going through it after you've gone through it because you've discovered some things about yourself you weren't aware of, we'd be happy to step in and be a blind spotter for you. Love it. Have fun today. Take us up on it. Absolutely. 

Jim Gebhardt: Right. Obviously we could talk about this for days and days and days and days 'cause we have, yes.

And there's lots more to talk about because the awareness is where we're starting. But ultimately, I mean, you fast forward this thing, it's the action that really starts to, to give some relief to the entrepreneur and their partner. On where they're going with this thing. 

Matthew Grishman: You're such a seven. You love going out.

I have to go out. We got more awareness to do. 'cause next up is this thing called the clarity compass. 

Jim Gebhardt: Oh, I know. 

Matthew Grishman: And holy cow, that that's a big a boy. Our tribe has no idea what they're in for in the next episode. So with that, my brother, that's a wrap. Thanks for joining us today on the whole Wealth journey.

Whatever your path may look like, our purpose is to make sure that [00:39:00] your way forward aligns with your core values and intentions. Are you ready to start planning for a future that's rich in wealth and wellbeing? Then click like and subscribe and make sure you don't miss a single episode of the Whole Wealth Journey.

So if we've 

Jim Gebhardt: struck a nerve with you today, 

Matthew Grishman: where do people go? You can find us at g hart whole wealth.com. That's G-E-B-H-A-R-D-T whole wealth.com. And once you get there. Make sure you connect with us so you can take the first steps to finding your why. We'll see you next time. 

Amy Bingham: Jim Gbb Hart is a registered representative of and Securities offered through Brokers International Financial Services, LLC, member SIPC, Jim Gbb Hart, and Matthew Grishman are investment advisor representatives of Gbb Hart Group, incorporated a registered investment advisor.

Brokers International Financial Services LLC and Gephart Group Incorporated are not affiliated. The opinions in this [00:40:00] podcast are for informational purposes only and are not intended to provide specific advice or investment recommendations. To determine which investments or financial advice may be appropriate for you, consult a financial advisor prior to investing.

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