Episode 153: Wealth Built With Clarity and Intentionality.

Harnessing the strength of intentionality and the power of clarity, learn how to cultivate a warrior mentality in our fast-paced world. Your hosts, Jim Gebhardt and Matthew Grishman explore the space between stimulus and reaction to develop mental toughness and intentional living. Reflecting on the solitude of the pandemic,  they'll uncover the newfound clarity and simplicity that emerged from the chaos. By stepping back and taking intentional breaks, you'll find resilience and focus, preparing our community to meet life’s hurdles with a clearer perspective and a more intentional approach.

Financial clarity and personal values often travel separate paths in the entrepreneurial world. The guys challenge this notion by introducing the "clarity compass," a tool designed to align financial decisions with core values. Through real-life examples, they highlight how intentional financial planning can significantly enhance well-being and foster meaningful connections. As they gear up for an upcoming conference, they anticipate the enriching exchange of ideas with like-minded individuals, furthering our understanding of the entrepreneurial mindset. Learn how small, purposeful actions, like the story of the old man and the starfish, can spark significant change and gratitude in our lives.

CHAPTER SUMMARIES

(00:00) Recognizing Gratitude and Celebrating Milestones
Gratitude, personal growth, college admissions journey, independence, resilience, parenting philosophies, learning from challenges.

(09:32) Embracing Intentionality With the Clarity Compass
Developing a warrior mentality through internal focus and mental toughness, pausing between stimulus and reaction, and intentional breaks for reflection and resilience.

(18:54) Discovering Purpose Through Financial Clarity
Entrepreneurs' financial decisions should align with core values, driven by continual learning and connection with like-minded individuals.

(32:01) Realigning Values for Financial Clarity
Aligning financial resources with personal values for health and connection, advocating for flat fee approach, and prioritizing intentional decisions for a vibrant life.

(43:28) The Power of Helping One Person
Nature's lesson on making a difference through small actions, illustrated by the parable of the old man and the starfish.

Learn more about The Whole Wealth Journey and get periodic updates or helpful content by getting on our email list HERE. Entrepreneurs, exit strategies and personal financial planning before the sale are topics you can count on every episode.  You can follow us on Instagram @thewholewealthjourney. 

Transcript

Matthew Grishman: [00:00:00] That is why God put me on earth. It's why my feet hit the floor every day is so that I can show up and be part of something bigger than me and have a little bit of impact in one person's life today where I can just help them get the anchor off the floor a little bit, help 'em get unstuck and get in motion.

I love, love, love spending time with an entrepreneur. Who can't figure out how to get in motion?

Jim Gebhardt: Welcome to the whole wealth journey. Wealth with a Y. What does that mean? What does that mean? Are we spelling it funny? 

Matthew Grishman: Uh, no, I think 

Jim Gebhardt: it's spelled we're using 

Matthew Grishman: the word Y. The, the word Y, right? Okay, good. Not the letter Y, the actual word Y. 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, I know why 

Matthew Grishman: Y. 

Jim Gebhardt: Because we wanna help people get on their path, then the path is all about their why, 

Matthew Grishman: and it's about aligning your finances with the people, the experience, and the 

Jim Gebhardt: [00:01:00] passions that give their lives.

True meaning it's getting way beyond the bank statements, the brokerage statements, the trust documents, the life insurance, and taking a deeper dive into your why. 

Matthew Grishman: Well, admittedly, we're not for everyone. This is different. We're for the bold ones who really want to dive deeper and seek. A life that resonates with who they really are at their core.

Who finds value in vulnerability? 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, you 

Matthew Grishman: and I do. 

Jim Gebhardt: You and I do. And that's where we wanna play. But not everybody is comfortable with that vulnerability. 

Matthew Grishman: Maybe we should introduce ourselves. What do you think? Oh, that's a good idea. Jim Gebhart. And I'm Matthew Grishman. We are the co-creators of the podcast, the whole wealth journey.

Ready to find your why. Then let's get started and get you one step closer to unlocking your inner wealth and wellbeing. What are you grateful for today? I'm grateful for this. I'm grateful for the fact that you and I have [00:02:00] shown up again today, stayed two inches in front of our nose one day at a time, one recording at a time, and after doing that for a minute or two, we got six years.

Of studio time under our belt, six years of coming in and doing this. That's, I'm so good a shared that with us today. We were, I, I just, I don't know why that hit me today. I mean, obviously I know how long we've been doing this, but it just, it hit me today with a whole bunch of warm, fuzzy bunny fufu in my chest.

That's like, ooh. That's the feeling of gratitude, which is another thing I'm grateful for. I'm starting to feel gratitude. There's like a, a feeling that comes before I say and think gratitude. There's like a feeling associated with it and it, like, it just, it comes up. This is, this is a 

Jim Gebhardt: new sensation. 

Matthew Grishman: Well, you've not felt this before.

It's a new awareness of a sensation. 

Jim Gebhardt: Okay, 

Matthew Grishman: cool. Yeah, and it's, uh, it's similar to the anxiety sensation, [00:03:00] but in a little different way. It comes up through the same way. Mm. But it's like a warm feeling in my chest and I. I almost get a little, almost like a vertigo feeling like I'm not, I'm not dizzy, but it's almost like I feel this kind of third person I don't know outta my mind a little bit.

It's weird. It's hard to explain. That's what gratitude feels like, which 

Jim Gebhardt: is a 

Matthew Grishman: unique 

Jim Gebhardt: new thing for me. Interesting. Yeah, yeah, 

Matthew Grishman: yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: Well, as I'm listening to your story, I'm thinking of how do I feel anxiety and gratitude. They're distinctly different for me. Sure. I can't get the anxiety feeling outta my body fast enough.

It's just like, go away. Right. I don't, I don't like that at all. Right. Whereas the other one's much more milk and cookies more like keep it forever. Ah, yeah. That 

Matthew Grishman: feels nice. Well, it's funny 'cause they're both temporary. Oh yeah. Right. But we want the anxiety feeling to go away and we want the gratitude one to stay longer.

And of course, the gratitude one [00:04:00] doesn't feel like it stays long enough and the anxiety feels like it stays too long. What are you grateful for today? 

Jim Gebhardt: Oh, I have, I have lots. I could, I could, do we have time? I could take the whole show. 

Matthew Grishman: Okay, let's go. Uh, we got nothing to do today. 

Jim Gebhardt: The journey that our son's been on relative to our son Jack, has been on relative to the college process, the college admissions process, and kids are still doing 

Matthew Grishman: that these days.

They are 

Jim Gebhardt: the journey that, that's been and a bit of an against all odds because of the sheer number. This, so did you know that 2025. Has the highest number of college applicants of all time. Wow. 4 million students have applied to go to college in 2025. 

Matthew Grishman: Wow. So actual headcount, 

Jim Gebhardt: not applications taken? Well, same thing.

I mean, well, it's not, it's not in terms of Yes, they apply to 12 or 15 schools. Sorry. Sorry. It's headcount. 

Matthew Grishman: It is head. 

Jim Gebhardt: That's what I, I mean it's headcount. Yeah. Wow. [00:05:00] Then you extrapolate that, right? You, you take, you know, 4 million kids that are now, when you and I went to school, we applied to a, a handful, right?

Right. Now they do 12, 15, 18, right? So that, that's a bit of a mess for obviously the admissions process because there's a lot more kids that get off a waiting list because you can't apply it. You can't accept it. More than one institution. Anyway, he's made his choice. Oh, he hasn't made it public yet. For reasons I do not understand.

But it's his news, not my news. Okay. So, but we know he's got a choice. He's made a wonderful choice. Nice. And I'm incredibly proud of him and I'm proud of Beth and I in this process because, you know, with the girls they were going down the athletic route. That's a very different college process. This is our first experience at 15 applications and all of that.

Mm-hmm. I'll just leave it there. And Jack's our most independent thinker. He does his own thing. So for Beth and I to give him the time and the space to do that, while at times is very frustrating because we [00:06:00] do have a bit of life experience that we would like to share. Sure. I'm incredibly grateful to watch him grow through this process because he's taken a lot of lumps.

I mean, he was shut out from the state of California. Oh, for seven, right. Well, 

Matthew Grishman: they probably said, 'cause you've lived here, uh, we gotta give other people a chance. Pro prob probably you've had, you know, 18 years of living in California. That's, yeah, 

Jim Gebhardt: that's an, that's, yeah, that's enough. You should live someplace else now.

Right? 

Matthew Grishman: We've, we've, we've ed educated you on the public nickel, you know, mom and dad pay property taxes, you're good. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yeah. Move that, move to another 

Matthew Grishman: state, right? 

Jim Gebhardt: So dealing with that, right, dealing with the setback and the frustration of that and, you know, God bless, uh, in many ways, here's something else to be grateful for.

He hasn't had a lot of struggle. And as a parent, you do want your kids to have some struggle. 

Matthew Grishman: As a parent, like you and me out of the book that we've studied of parenting, most parents I think I've met don't want their kids to struggle. Well, how's that? How's that work problem? How's that 

Jim Gebhardt: working out with the soft parenting movement?

Oh, 

Matthew Grishman: right. We got 

Jim Gebhardt: so many strong men out there today. Yes. [00:07:00] So. Watching him go through this process and deal with the setbacks and deal with the rejections and, you know, multiple rejections in a day and, and still keep a positive upbeat, everything happens for a reason, you know? Thanks, mom. Mantra it. It's just been really fun to watch, right?

Yeah. And the evolution of a kid from when they're first born to this stage of the game when they're trying to spread their wings and fly. Mm-hmm. I've got a lot of gratitude for that. 

Matthew Grishman: That's awesome. Can I make a suggestion? Can I just throw something out there for you and Beth to think about? 

Jim Gebhardt: No. 

Matthew Grishman: Okay, but I'm gonna anyway, 

Jim Gebhardt: right, 

Matthew Grishman: Uhhuh.

'cause you know I do that. I'm not going to suggest something you're not already aware of. But there may be a kind of a hook to this that's a little different. I'm reading a book, what Uhhuh? I'm not going to go into what it is, what the name is. I will at some point. It doesn't apply too much to what we're doing today, but the whole point of the book talks about.

How we've got a bunch of boys running around today. We, we don't have the kind of masculinity in the world today that we [00:08:00] once had. There's a big patriarchy movement going on, right. Where lots of tough guys and muscles and flexing and violence and all sorts of that kind of stuff, but like weight lifting, like Arnold kind of stuff where we're going to go lift some weights.

Sure, yeah. Big strong puffery. There's lots of puffery. There's lots of brevity, but real masculinity and, and part of the. The idea here is that we've lost this celebration, this recognition of going from boyhood to manhood. Mm. And I'm wondering if Jack is experiencing some of that, based on the rejection he's getting and the challenges he's dealing with, is there a way that you and Beth can help recognize, Hey kiddo, congratulations.

You're becoming a man. This process is teaching you. Is there a way to ceremonies this whole process to where he's made a decision and all of that going from a boy to a [00:09:00] man and, and we just, we build some ritual around that because that's, it's missing today. Yeah. Well, I mean, we could 

Jim Gebhardt: start with a quinceanera.

I. You could, or a bar mitzvah, you could. Those are 

Matthew Grishman: examples of how that 

Jim Gebhardt: still exists. I know. I'm trying to be funny. Sure. But you got your serious panties on today. 

Matthew Grishman: Well, my shoulder hurts, so I'm gonna try to bring some humor in. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yes. I appreciate, yeah. I'm just what you're suggesting. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. Well, 'cause you're a man of celebration and ceremony.

Yes, yes. And ritual and. You're about that. So I just Yes, I do. 

Jim Gebhardt: I like that very much. Yeah, I do. So there, 

Matthew Grishman: there's something there. 

Jim Gebhardt: There is. Oh. And yet he doesn't want any kind of part of your celebration. Hey buddy. What, uh, what do you wanna do to celebrate your graduation? Uh, maybe go on a trip with you and mom.

Beautiful. 

Matthew Grishman: That's how you can recognize it. Okay. Yeah. So you 

Jim Gebhardt: don't wanna party with friends or family or extended, you know, our friends that are our family Yeah. Since we're so far away. [00:10:00] Yeah. No. No, I don't. No. O okay. 

Matthew Grishman: Dude, that is so awesome. How clear your kid is on what he wants. Yeah. And doesn't want, yeah.

How rare is that? Oh, it's especially at that age that, that's all I'm suggesting is that, that there's something warranting a celebration, even if it's just you and Beth sitting down with him. Yeah. And acknowledging, Hey, you ain't a boy anymore, kiddo. This portal that you've stepped through. Going through this college application process and taking your lumps and getting your ass handed to you, welcome, welcome to Manhood.

Welcome and congratulations, right? This is gonna serve you so incredibly well. 

Jim Gebhardt: Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm reminded of the, the comment you made about patriarchy and where the men today and all this good stuff, and I'm just, I'm reminded of this quote that has been floating around a little bit more in the last few years.

But I wanna read it. [00:11:00] I don't have it memorized. Tough times. Create strong men. Strong men create easy times. Easy times create weak men. Weak men create tough times. You have to raise warriors, not parasites. That's the part of the quote I've never heard. I've never really heard included. 

Matthew Grishman: Hmm. 

Jim Gebhardt: Is this concept of raising warriors.

Yeah. And you and I know a thing or two about that with some of the coaching work that we've participated in Sure. In that concept of a warrior mentality. Yeah. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: And so much of it is, I mean, the, the kids today, even young adults today, so much of, of what they're experiencing is coming at them. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: And it's an external focus versus an internal focus.

Right? And you and I both know that this is all an inside job, right? From the standpoint of the, the mental toughness, right? That it takes to [00:12:00] persevere through life, reacting life, right? They're reacting to what 

Matthew Grishman: comes at them, right? Instead of the pause, strength of their own thinking, pause, internalize, think and respond.

Right? Absolutely. Very, very little intentionality, very little clarity on how to even. Do that. I think Viktor Frankl has a great quote in this world of, and, and I'm gonna butcher it and I don't have it memorized, but it's something to the effect of, between stimulus and reaction is the, like, the pause to think.

Right? But between, between. And he just, he talks a lot about this, this idea of just pause, think, respond, don't react. We don't have to react right away and panic and freak out, and that's just what our whole world is now. It seems like that's what it's been for a long time. But man, did we really see that come to a head with that little pandemic thing that we [00:13:00] had a little while back here?

Oh, 

Jim Gebhardt: absolutely. And I'm, I'll come back to that. You know, this, uh, Beth knows this, but part of my, and I'm gonna use this word very intentionally, my need. To go away every quarter 

Matthew Grishman: mm-hmm. 

Jim Gebhardt: Is to have time to think. 

Matthew Grishman: Mm-hmm. 

Jim Gebhardt: Sure. Is to get out of the biosphere, go away, not be in Right. Not be in the biosphere of our work where I just can't do it.

I, I mean, yeah, I think, but I don't have time to think because we're dealing with the, you know, the, the day-to-day needs and wishes and wants of our clients. But when I can step out like that. I look at what Bill Gates has done for decades on a week, a quarter, a week, a month. I think it's a week, a quarter.

He goes away for a week and he reads and he thinks, oh wow. That's like, oh, that's an enlightened space that I covet thee, and you know. Bringing it back to Covid. Uh, we had, [00:14:00] we had lots of time to do that, right? Yes. Because we couldn't go places, we couldn't do the things we were used to doing. We had a lot more solitude.

We had a lot more time to think. And how interesting is it when you and I have talked with friends and clients how much, where there's a little bit of a, oh, can't. Can we, can we go back to that? Right. All the, not, not all the bad stuff, right? Not all the dying and the disease and all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just the But the quiet. The quiet and the simplicity and the, I don't have to be 42 places in. Ah, I don't have to. I'd show up. I'd, 

Matthew Grishman: I'd like 

Jim Gebhardt: some that 

Matthew Grishman: back uhhuh. Absolutely. I don't know that that was a universal experience though. That was our experience. That's how you and I experienced it. 

Jim Gebhardt: Uh, certainly. I don't think we could say it was universal, but I would say the majority of people that I talked to about it, if, and again, I, I, I said this during covid, I'll say it again.

If you weren't on the barbells of life, if you weren't at the end of the barbells of [00:15:00] life at the very early or the very late stage of life, and you were somewhere in the middle. Yep. You miss a couple years. Meh, 40 to 42, 36 to 38, 55 to 57. Meh. But on the barbells, you know, four to 6 88 to 90. Sure. Right. So I probably can't give you a good, uh, sure it wasn't universal, but a lot of the people that I talked to wouldn't mind a little bit of that back.

Oh, yeah. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm just thinking about what you and I weren't doing. As much during that whole time. And that was really when I know at least I anchored into saying no more to cable news. That was really what accelerated my distance from the chaos that was going on in the world. I knew what was going on in the world, but I didn't need it in my face.

You don't need every tick and turn 24 7. Right, and and I'm not sure that that's what the [00:16:00] masses subscribed to because I found out. A couple days after, when Amy sent me out to Target with Miles, I have a picture of this. We walk into Target and all of the toilet paper and paper towels were gone. Gone. I'm like, wait, what?

What's going on here? This is nuts. What's going on here? And it was getting home and talking to Amy about it, that she filled me in, that, oh, there's people running around with a toilet paper shortage, hoarding this stuff because toilet paper is. Essential. Essential. And it's going away, and we're not gonna have the ability to wipe our asses pretty soon here and buying bottled water.

And it's like the end of the world. It was crazy. The number of people that were just reacting to what was going on. Well, because 

Jim Gebhardt: we were living in a fog. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah, 

Jim Gebhardt: right. We, it was a total, you know, have you ever tried to drive in the fog? I mean, it's just, you can't, you have no visibility. So we react and we panic.

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: And we do things [00:17:00] impulsively. When we can't see. Sure. 

Matthew Grishman: Absolutely. Well, I'm, I'm, I'll extend my gratitude to the work that we get to do because I feel really, really confident about our people going into that environment. More prepared than I would say the masses, than most as, as far as being prepared to be a little bit more intentional with their choices, a little more intentional with their behavior.

I put a lot of that on our approach to planning and how we prepare ahead of time for things like that. Our lifeboat drills. Our lifeboat drills. Yeah. Yeah. How we practice, how we basically look at assets from a standpoint of defense. First, let's protect first, and let's make sure that we have cash as an asset class available at all times, and our clients.

Buy into that. They agree with that. And I think it is because it all starts with [00:18:00] the clarity to see how important that is in their life. It's not just a conversation about why it's so important to have cash. It's why is it so important to have cash for you? It's very personal and that is where our exercise, what I think we're gonna spend a little bit of time talking about today.

Oh yeah. Where the clarity compass really makes a 

Jim Gebhardt: difference. We were talking about it yesterday with clients that are new to our planning process. They've been, they've been longtime clients in the, in the corporate space, in the 401k space. And it was just really fun to kind of have that conversation about what was coming next in the process.

Mm-hmm. In our, in our planning process, which is the next conversation's gonna be the clarity compass exercise. Yep. And this is, this is a couple that has, you know, they've worked together as a team for over 40 years and they've done a brilliant job saving and investing and building a business. And now they're selling the business and that business is gonna, you know, spit off a good eight figure sum to them.

And [00:19:00] while they've never really been that intentional with their spending up until this point mm-hmm. They've just kinda lived life and. Made more money if they needed to and just, they've been unintentionally very intentional Yeah. With how they've gone about life. Sure. But now, when we set the expectation for them of what was coming next, did you see their, their reaction, they both kinda lit up at the, oh wow.

This is gonna help us be much more intentional when we go into this next phase of life post sale. 

Matthew Grishman: Yes. On. 

Jim Gebhardt: How we spend our money, why we spend our money, how do we, you know, and, and I'm gonna use the word investing, not just from the, necessarily the public markets, but investing in experiences, investing in their family, in ways.

Oh God, I just, it, I can't, it's like, can't we meet with them tomorrow? 

Matthew Grishman: Right. They lit up at the idea. That by going really deep with this exercise of clarity, compass and exposing their most critical values, the stuff that really, really matters, like this is why [00:20:00] our feet hit the floor every day. I mean, there's lot, lots of stuff's important, lots of stuff out there we care about.

We probably even have a number of priorities that we focus on today, but there's really just a handful. Of a couple of core values that mean everything, and it's a little different for each person, although we find some commonalities amongst most humans. We do this with, there are some differences and there's some nuance, and to be able to have something like that, to expose it, to bring it out, to pull it out of a client and show it to them, and then create a system for how we align all of their financial resources to support.

Those most important things, it just, it becomes the foundation of everything we do. It will never cease to amaze me at how many very successful entrepreneurs lack that kind of intentional connection between what matters most to them in life and how they use their [00:21:00] money. 

Jim Gebhardt: I think in the same way that we, with this process, we get to slow the conversation down for the client.

Sure. I think if, if you and I right now slow the conversation down relative to the mindset of the entrepreneur, they have a vision. Yes. But from that vision, they go into just like a sprint and they forget to pause every once in a while and periscope up and look around and. Reset the expectation or re, you know, regain their clarity on how have things changed, right?

Mm-hmm. Because, yeah, they've got a vision. And if I look back at the almost 30 year journey with this client and the, and the evolution of their business, you know, and the highs and the lows and the stories that he told us about how at one point I. You know, he had, he had bankers or surety folks looking at him saying, you should probably shut this thing down.

Sure. Right? Yeah. And now they've grown it, they've grown it to an pushing a $90 million business. Yeah. He 

Matthew Grishman: had a, an attitude of, oh yeah, watch me hold my beer. Watch this. Right. Totally. And that, but [00:22:00] that's an entrepreneur. That's an entrepreneur. Yeah. Tell me, no, go ahead. Please tell me. No, 

Jim Gebhardt: please. Please.

Right. And the clarity compass is just such a beautiful way to slow life down, particularly if your partner is not. An entrepreneur and you're the entrepreneur to get on the same page. Yeah. Right? Oh yeah. To make sure that you've got, and absolutely, you should have your own essential core values, as should your partner.

But then where's the overlap? Absolutely. How do we, how do we find the common ground between the two of you on how to align the money, but then it's what we've seen it practically. When one spouse wants to do something with the money. I'm thinking of some clients where the wife wanted to add an upper, an upper floor to the house, and the husband's like, what do we need that for?

Oh, yeah. Well, because then it would create guest space downstairs as the kids get older and they have kids and they start coming home, and then we'd, we'd have our retreat upstairs, [00:23:00] but then. We finally got 'em to the point where they're, they can, they can now work on this 

Matthew Grishman: together because there was a value uncovered of, of what is motivating that decision to create that upstairs space.

Yes, and, and I just, I think a lot of entrepreneurs sometimes miss that. They don't take the time to do that because, and, and the entrepreneurs that you and I are talking about here today, the, the one you just shared that we're just recently meeting with, and they're excited about this next step, he's a unicorn.

We, we've met a few of these unicorn business owner entrepreneurs lately that do have a little bit more clarity on these values by far and away the majority of entrepreneurs, you and I meet. The goal is more, more period. Whether it's more money, more business, more real estate, more employees. It's all about more.

And part of what I think is so special about this part of our process is how we slow it all down for that entrepreneur and go, hang on, [00:24:00] isn't there more than just more? There is, what is it that's actually driving more? Hmm. And when we can slow them down and identify three or four things in life, I don't know, family connection people, friends, house tribe.

Whatever you want to call it. Right there, there there's 10 words that could describe the same thing. And when we go through this process with people, what I love is we show them 50 or 60 different concepts where 10 could mean the same thing. Mm-hmm. But it's the word that means the most to you. Right?

Right. That flushes the value out to you. Like for me, when I think of family and friends and people and, and. The, the circles in my life. To me, the word that best describes that is connection and it's core to who I am. That resonates with you? Oh, it resonates with me. Mm-hmm. And, and to have my financial resources support, my ability [00:25:00] to maintain and create connection in life is paramount and I, and I make so many of my financial decisions based on does this.

Create more opportunity for connection or does it take away from connection? And if I find myself using money in a way that gets in the way of me making connection, it's a very easy no, I may not have been as aware of when I was using my money in a way that was not creating connection or was prohibitive to connection.

Now I'm seeing where, oh, you have awareness around it. I have awareness around it 

Jim Gebhardt: now. Also known as clarity. Ooh. And 

Matthew Grishman: we should call it, 

Jim Gebhardt: right, 

Matthew Grishman: the clarity 

Jim Gebhardt: compass. There you go. We're going to a conference next week. Yes. Specifically devoted to the exit planning community. And there's a, you know, there's an investment of money.

There's an investment of time to be able to go away. And energy. And energy. Yep. Right. And. In the context of what we're talking about here, it, it applies not just personally, but professionally. Right. So connection for us and always wanting to raise the [00:26:00] bar and get better at our craft and continue to innovate and get better.

Well, that's not gonna happen if we just sit in our silos and, and wait for people to come to us. Yes. So we're making investment to go into this reasonably new community of professionals for us. To go find our own like-minded folks for greater connection 

Matthew Grishman: and education and learning, right? Oh, sure. I mean, that to me, part of what Spawns connection and becomes the glue within connection is this idea of being an eternal student.

I'm constantly trying to learn, and I don't mean just learning stuff. I'm, I'm, my fascination is learning about people, sociology, psychology, how people operate, how people work. And so for me, my biggest takeaway, what I'm, what I'm going into this conference looking for. Is more skills and more opportunities to learn how to better understand others, how to better understand the entrepreneurial mind.

A, because I've got one, and I'd really like to understand my own thinking a [00:27:00] little more because if I understand my own thinking a little more, I understand your thinking a little more and if I understand your thinking a little more. Then I can be empathetic, accepting, understanding, and then we get to have a little stronger connection.

'cause that's ultimately what connects us is looking at each other and trying to see where we're similar, not where we're different. And it seems like there's a whole bunch of, 

Jim Gebhardt: yeah, we could probably have about 4,400 episodes on, 

Matthew Grishman: right, on that, on just connection. Right. Just on that value. Because we live in a world where the first thing we're trying to do is look at somebody and see where we're different.

To me, my number one like North Star. Is connection. Yeah. The antithesis of what we're seeing in our world today. Right. And that's why I'm going to this conference. Yeah. And a big part of it is connecting with you, getting that time with you. Yeah. Because of all of we, we don't get to do a lot of that No as much.

And you're my family, right. And Amy [00:28:00] and my kids and mom and dad and you. And just being able to. Have our time to connect and talk and think and challenge each other and check in with each other. What a concept I'm so that, can I add that to the gratitude list today? Most certainly. The fact that you and I have been dancing for, I.

20 years. Yeah. And we're still finding time to go connect. Yeah. In our relationship. What 

Jim Gebhardt: a concept. 

Matthew Grishman: Right. That's the most beautiful. Well, 

Jim Gebhardt: that's how you, that's how you keep elevating and growing. Right. Otherwise you, yeah, you don't. 

Matthew Grishman: Right. It's hard enough to do that in a marriage. Let alone a platonic friendship business partnership like ours, I would say most would've given up by now.

Especially, you know, you and I have had some bumps along the way and, 

Jim Gebhardt: and well, business partnerships for those of you keeping score at home are harder than marriages. 

Matthew Grishman: That's right. 

Jim Gebhardt: Right. And our entrepreneurial crowd and tribe that's listening today is Yes. Chuckling and laughing, uh, and maybe even crying at the thought of that.

[00:29:00] Right. But to kinda bring it back to the whole clarity compass. Exercise. Yeah. Is, and you know, this is kind of all over our website, but when, when someone has a vision, someone has a goal series of goals, wishes, dreams, wants, whatever you want to call it, sure. It's great to have those, but when you can actually slow this thing down and have a conversation around why.

Why this is vital to me. Right? That's why we call it wealth with a Why. Why the goal. You mean why the goal? Why the vision? Why The why? The why. The why, right? Gimme an example 

Matthew Grishman: of a goal. I. 

Jim Gebhardt: I wanna have a, a home in palm desert. Why? Right. Right. Because it's an opportunity to create connection. Yeah. 

Matthew Grishman: You want a plane, 

Jim Gebhardt: we've, right, yeah, sure.

That, that's freedom. Right? That's just, ah, that's just the why behind that is just the freedom of not being tied to airline schedules and. All that other stuff. Yeah. And all the, all [00:30:00] that you talked about. We talked about the feeling of anxiety. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhardt: Right. You're the one that kinda introduced me to the concept of travel day anxiety.

Mm-hmm. And thanks to you asshole Uhhuh. I have it now. You're welcome. 

Matthew Grishman: It's, it's spread to me. You're welcome. What a. 

Jim Gebhardt: All of that. Uhhuh, you have 

Matthew Grishman: it now? I do. Yeah. You even got your ass outta bed at 3:00 AM this morning to help your family with their own track, right. Of it. Right. So guess what? That's gonna get us even faster.

Jim Gebhardt: A 

Matthew Grishman: plane uhhuh. Right? You're welcome. 

Jim Gebhardt: So the number of times we have seen the light bulbs go off in a, in a couple. Where they've been stuck around money in some regard. Yep. And then the light bulb comes off, you know, comes on in terms of the why we wanna do this. Mm-hmm. Not just the Yeah. But you know, it'd be nice to No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

There's keep digging. Yeah. Take, take the extra time to dig down a couple more layers. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That is so unbelievable. That is like rocket fuel for me, in terms of motivation to. I mean, it's also, I, [00:31:00] we're going all over the place here. It's another reason why we don't charge by the hour, right?

Because if we charge by the hour, we'd be expensive. We'd be expensive, but then we're already costly. We'd be expensive, but, but just, I mean, you're, you know, our tribe that's listening today. Don't you hate being on the clock, right. It prohibits conversation, right? Yes. And some of, some of the times, the, the best nuggets of gold have come out of the second hour, two and a half hours into the conversation because we got, we got going down a a rail.

I. It led to this whole interesting series of input and conversation and everything else. How about Glenn and Joyce? Second hour. How about 

Matthew Grishman: fourth hour and fifth hour? Sure. 

Jim Gebhardt: That's a, that's a whole different kettle of fish, 

Matthew Grishman: right? Right. I mean, that's what's beautiful about this clarity compass process and the fact that we, we don't charge by the hours that it allows for whatever time and space we need to be able to flush these things out.

And identify what these most important values in your life are, especially when we go to a [00:32:00] really peaceful, serene place, whether it's the client's backyard or like tomorrow I have new clients coming in, right? We're gonna do the clarity compass, and because we're going through the remodel in the office, out back of the office, we've got these picnic tables under the redwoods.

Behind a creek and a little marshy area, and we're gonna go sit out there. That's where, well, 

Jim Gebhardt: that's where all financial advisors meet with their clients. Of course, 

Matthew Grishman: I see them out there every day. I wonder why those tables are never used. We use them, but it's a wonderful little area you kind of get away from.

The fast-paced, reactive side of life, and it gives us the time and space to really ponder and think and look at these different words that have different meanings in our life and get to the essence of what really rolls your socks up and down and gets you outta bed every day. I. 

Jim Gebhardt: Love it. So what I know you do, what hap what happens then when we take clients through this exercise?

Do we just, then that's it. We just, we kind of stop. Or when we 

Matthew Grishman: first started with it. Yeah. That was the, that was the beauty of how we've always been entrepreneurs is we [00:33:00] build this plane as we're flying it a little bit. But when you and I first stumbled onto this idea, we struggled with, you know, how do we connect this?

To everything. And what's been cool is to see that through some experimenting with willing clients who have been our Guinea pigs and they've played nicely with us and, and what we have now I think is a very well-oiled machine that really speaks to what the front page of our website says. Right? If you go to gbb hart group inc.com, you'll see wealth with a y.

Is all over the front page of our website, and it's because of this exercise and how we're able to take these four values. Ideally, we're trying to uncover the four core essential values to what really makes you tick as a human. And then we create an action plan around how these values actually show up in your life.

Are they showing up in your life the way you want them to? Are you supporting them financially the way [00:34:00] you want to, or do we need to go out and create the time and the space and the financial resources to bring this more into your life? And then there's a whole accountability to it where we become the people that help you stay accountable to how you're using your money relative to what you've shared with us.

Is important to you. We are not in the give people permission to use their money business. No thank you. No way. No thank you. We love encouraging clients. There's 

Jim Gebhardt: plenty of, plenty of big firms that advertise on the major media networks that would love, love to be in the permission business. 

Matthew Grishman: And well, and, and look, I get it.

I understand why our industry is wired that way. The way most compensation in our industry is handled is based a fee based on assets under management. So I don't want my clients using their money. 

Jim Gebhardt: Don't use, don't use the 

Matthew Grishman: money. No. Give it to your kids. Hang on to it. Save it, grow it, and we'll pass it on to the kids that they have a better life than you.

Right. But you and I have done this a little different and we've priced this a little different, and that's why we do kind of a flat fee [00:35:00] for the scope of the planning work that we're going to do, which eliminates from at least this part of. Our work, the conflict of interest that comes with, right? Making sure that the way we get paid is aligned with what's best for our client.

Well, and it 

Jim Gebhardt: also eliminates the quid pro quo of, we'll do the planning for free because we want your asset management business, right, which we can then charge you a fee and, and then we want you to sit still and be quiet and never use the money. Correct. Yeah. Right. 

Matthew Grishman: No thanks. No. So I love that we build an action plan and that we help clients stay accountable to that action plan.

Where it's like, okay, if connection is an important value, or in our case, let's, let's pick on health for a minute. 'cause you, you and I have some overlap and then we've got some differences. But the big one that you and I, the two big ones that you and I overlap on are connection and health, right? So how have we shifted?

The financial resources in Gehart group and our personal checkbooks oof. [00:36:00] And our schedules to and our sch. Our time lifestyle, our lifestyle energy, and our money. Right? Our three, our three most valuable assets in the world of wealth management. Our time, our energy, and our money. 100%. How have we realigned those two support our values?

Now that you and I are clear on how much health means to us? 

Jim Gebhardt: It's the whole 

Matthew Grishman: show. Yeah. I was say, I'm not asking a rhetorical question. Yeah, no. I mean, go. Well 

Jim Gebhardt: it's, it's, it's been the ultimate shift for me, right. In terms of I've reorganized and reoriented my life around my health. And there's a great book, we gave a copy of it out yesterday to the clients that we're in, uh, by Arthur Brooks called Strength to Strength.

And to just plug his book for a second. The whole concept, the way I distill it down, is as a big golfer, I can't play the back nine of life the way I played the front nine. So the things that I did from a health perspective on my front nine, sure are [00:37:00] not going to work from a vibrance and energy and longevity standpoint on the back nine.

Right. That reorganization, that refocus. It's been incredible. I think we're at, this is month 17 or 18. Mm-hmm. And all the, that I used to have around, you know, being in the office at 7, 7 30 in the morning is gone because I put in the, I put the prior, I mean, I, I do my check-ins in the morning and check all the check itty, check, check stuff that we're supposed to check.

Sure. But then it's about me. Right. For two hours. Right. And my back pain's gone away because I stretch every morning. Right. My mobility is much better just in my everyday movements and just how more comfortable I feel in my body as my inflammation's come down. 

Matthew Grishman: How does that help you show up for the people that matter in your life?

Those that you used to be so hella focused on at seven 30 in the morning coming into the office? Well, perhaps, 

Jim Gebhardt: perhaps a little better. 

Matthew Grishman: Mm. So they may not get as much time-wise of you, [00:38:00] but they get more of you. Sure. Hmm. 

Jim Gebhardt: I might use better than more. Yeah. Right. If my energy's better and my focus is better and I find that I need, that's more of of you.

That's more, yeah. I'm just, I'm You're operating at a higher, right. Because 

Matthew Grishman: I mean, what do we say, higher frequency? 10% of our brain capacity is what the average human use 

Jim Gebhardt: I'm up to like level 11 and a half now. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. No doubt. Absolutely. It also, as we talk a lot about with our entrepreneurs, it protects my confidence.

Yeah. Because. You could pretty much take almost any time and space. We've done this lovely show of ours and there's been some level of chaos in the world. Doesn't, it Doesn't really matter if you caught us in the first year, the second year, the fifth year, this year. It doesn't matter. And the nature of the entrepreneur is you.

You rule number one is you have to protect your confidence. Sure. And when I've been exercising and I'm, I feel stronger and I'm losing weight, and I'm [00:39:00] sleeping better, and my mobility's better, it just sends the confidence. To be able to go deal with whatever resistance comes our way. Mm-hmm. I just feel much more capable to do that.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. And it, it feels awesome. 

Matthew Grishman: That's great. 

Jim Gebhardt: How does it flip it around to you? How does it 

Matthew Grishman: Oh, it game changer because I. You know, we're, you're talking to somebody here who wasn't always as intentional with how he used his money, and I might have been that guy all caught up in the pandemic, going out and spending a thousand dollars on toilet paper at the thought that I might run out of it one day versus, hang on, slow down, pause.

Let's think about this. Let's be intentional. Let's respond rather than react. I mean, how many times have I had impulse purchases in my life where I've just not been intentional with how I use my money, how I take care of myself, right? Because I just, I didn't have any clarity on what was I, I knew what was important to me, but I wasn't necessarily clear on like the core stuff that [00:40:00] really meant the most, perhaps the why.

The why, exactly. And now I'm clear on that. I mean, we've talked about. Connection and how important that is and how we invest time, energy, money in doing that. With the example of the trip we're taking, we've talked about health and how we're doing that mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, which takes an incredible amount of time, energy, and money.

I appreciate some honesty. You shared with me yesterday when we were talking about how, well I was sharing with you how proud I am that you're putting yourself first in the morning and how I was beating you over the head with a two by four for years about doing that and you're doing it and I see the difference in you and it's incredible and how you show up and.

I've been doing that for a little while where I get up at somewhere between five and six o'clock in the morning and I don't show up for the world until 10. And I know that used to drive you crazy. Oh yeah. I've shared that with you before. [00:41:00] Uh, not that way when you said, oh, that drives me crazy. That's the most honesty with that.

Oh, you've ever shared with me on that? Hmm? I've always sensed that you didn't love it. But you also knew that that's what you needed That, that you needed to be okay with that. Because if you wanted the most outta your business partner, you had to give 'em that space to show up, right? 'cause if I showed up at eight o'clock in the morning, you were gonna get some cray cray version of me who was ornery and pissed off and resentful.

And you mean like everybody else? Uh oh. Well, and that's where it all started. Was, I was starting to recognize years ago how cranky I was on Mondays because everybody else was so cranky and I was allowing everybody else to occupy rent-free space in my head and affect how I felt. If you were cranky. I was so codependent.

If you were cranky, I was cranky. Did that ever seep 

Jim Gebhardt: into 

Matthew Grishman: Sunday night? Oh, that's where it all started. Yeah. I started hating half my weekend. Right. Because I was already thinking about anticipating how [00:42:00] cranky we were all gonna be on Monday. Mm. And so I made a very conscious decision that for me to be able to maximize what I value in connection with people, I need to disengage from Monday, crankiness.

It's just affecting me too much. See I never 

Jim Gebhardt: had that. Ah, I never had the Monday crankiness. Ah. So that's why it was hard to relate. Sure. Because, I mean, since I was 26, I've been doing the work that I love to do and I eagerly would get to Monday. There was always a little bit of anxiousness about it because we don't control the markets yet.

Sure. Right. We're getting closer. Right. But we don't, we don't have that full power yet. 

Matthew Grishman: I had a little crystal ball moment this last week. Oh nice. Well I called, uh, yeah. Yeah. Well I don't wanna get into the specifics 'cause you know, this could be any time and date and place in the future. Right? Sure, sure.

Jim Gebhardt: I get it because I have lots of friends and lots of family that Monday was a very cranky time. 

Matthew Grishman: When you work for other people, it's almost [00:43:00] impossible for Monday not to be a little bit of cranky. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yeah, 

Matthew Grishman: right. And it wasn't until you and I got together that I started realizing the possibility of how can I design a Monday?

That fits me and my energy and how I want to be able to connect with people. And remember, we're also dealing with a little bit of a different brain here. Everybody I know and everybody we work with, we, we all have dopamine stuff, right? We all love our little dopamine shots. Sure. The way my brain's wired as a recovering alcoholic is a little amplified with the dopamine, right?

So it takes me, it takes me a little while longer to get my thinker. In the right place, in the right direction, in that kind of selfless, I'm more interested in you than I am trying to be Interesting to you today. Right? And that just, that's a self-care thing. That's a, just get myself right, get spiritual, get physically fit, mentally fit, emotionally fit, and then bang when I show up at 10 o'clock.

I'm ready. I'm ready to go. I'm ready to show up, and I'm ready to give you my best. 

Jim Gebhardt: [00:44:00] Sounds like there's a lot of why behind that. 

Matthew Grishman: A lot of why I really, really care about being useful, about being helpful. That's, that is why God put me on earth. It's why my feet hit the floor every day is so that I can show up and be part of something bigger than me and have a little bit of impact in one person's life today where I can just help them get the anchor off the floor a little bit.

Help 'em get unstuck and get in motion. I love, love, love spending time with an entrepreneur who can't figure out how to get in motion. We've had this idea, we've had this desire to, whether it's sell the business, expand the business, do something with our family, plan something, and we're stuck. And I love, love, love being able to show up.

Become very curious about what's going on in their life and what their vision is and how they're trying to get there, as well as everything they've tried that keeps them stuck. And then help them take that very first step where they get unstuck. Yeah. And they get in [00:45:00] motion and then physics takes over.

Sure. And keeps them in motion. Once they get in motion. I love that. And to see the lights turn on in their eyes that, holy shit, I can. That to me is, that's why I get out of bed every day. Yeah. When I see the lights come on in somebody's eyes that we've reignited a, a sense of confidence. It's 

Jim Gebhardt: impact. It's impact.

It's a wonderful feeling. Yes. And that concept of just helping one client today. Yes. Helping one person today. Yes. We're gonna wrap with a, a parable that is one of my favorites. Love it. It's the old man by the sea. The old man by the sea is walking along the beach and for whatever reason, there's 10,000 starfish.

Instead of all washed up on the beach. Hmm. And it's overwhelming to him. And all he knows what to do is to pick up one starfish, turn it back over and walk it down to the sea. But there's 10,000 of them and this young man's walking down the beach and he sees this and he's like, what is this old man doing?

He's not gonna be able to do [00:46:00] anything here. This is, this is a waste of his time. And he watches him some more and he eventually goes up to the old man and he's like. I don't get it. I mean there there's 10,000 Starfish here. What's the point?

The point young man is I can help this one.

That's what this is all about. If we can help one person today, move the needle, get in motion, make a phone call, take some action, put on their running shoes. That's why we're here. It all 

Matthew Grishman: starts with getting clear. It all starts with clarity. This is my favorite part of our process and I'm so grateful we got to talk about it today.

Jim Gebhardt: Yeah. With that brother, 

Matthew Grishman: that's a wrap. Thanks for joining us today on the Whole Wealth Journey. Whatever your path may look like, our purpose is to make sure that your way forward aligns with your core [00:47:00] values and intentions. Are you ready to start planning for a future that's rich in wealth and wellbeing?

Then click like and subscribe and make sure you don't miss a single episode of the Whole Wealth Journey. So if we've struck a nerve with you today, where do people go? You can find us@gebhartwholewealth.com. That's G-E-B-H-A-R-D-T whole wealth.com. And once you get there, make sure you connect with us so you can take the first steps to finding your why.

We'll see you next time. 

Amy Bingham: Jim Gbb Hart is a registered representative of and Securities offered through Brokers International Financial Services, LLC, member SIPC, Jim Gbb Hart, and Matthew Grishman are investment advisor representatives of Gbb Hart Group, incorporated a registered investment advisor.

Brokers International Financial Services LLC and Gephart Group Incorporated are not affiliated. The opinions in this podcast are for informational [00:48:00] purposes only and are not intended to provide specific advice or investment recommendations. To determine which investments or financial advice may be appropriate for you, consult a financial advisor prior to investing.

Any reference to market performance is based on historical information and there is no expressed or implied guarantee of future performance. Opinions expressed on this program do not necessarily reflect those of brokers International financial services, LLC. The topics discussed and opinions given are not intended to address the specific needs of any listener.

Gbb Hart Group Incorporated does not offer legal or tax advice. Listeners are encouraged to discuss their financial needs with the appropriate professional regarding your individual circumstance.