Episode 163: Unpacking Your Story - An Entrepreneurs Journey From Scarcity to Security.

This episode, hosts Jim Gebhardt and Matthew Grishman dive into the concept of work-life balance and reflect on their own journeys towards financial confidence. They discuss the importance of gratitude, building meaningful relationships, and finding clarity in financial decisions. The guys elaborate on their experiences with financial confidence, the significance of understanding clients' personal values, and how intentionality with money can lead to greater fulfillment and empowerment in financial decision-making one faces as an entrepreneur.

Chapter Breaks
00:00 Introduction to Work-Life Balance
00:34 Meet the Hosts: Jim and Matthew
00:50 Gratitude Moments
02:35 Special Guest: Daughter Grace in the Studio
04:54 Deep Dive: Financial Conversations
14:29 Understanding Financial Confidence
21:51 The Importance of Intentionality with Money
22:22 Managing Joint and Separate Bank Accounts
23:50 The Power of Visualization in Financial Planning
24:59 Overcoming Financial Anxiety
26:15 The Journey from Scarcity to Abundance
26:36 The Role of Debt in Financial Confidence
28:29 Finding Purpose Beyond Financial Success
31:09 The Importance of Authenticity in Personal and Professional Life
37:14 Defining Financial Confidence and Personal Investment
40:43 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Transcript

Matthew Grishman: [00:00:00] Was asked recently, uh, to define work life balance. Excuse me, Uhhuh. I'm like, what? What's that? The point being is that there was a time where we had a very different work and personal life, right? We turned work on and off. We turned our personal life on and off.

Hey, what's this whole Wealth Journey podcast thing all about? 

Jim Gebhradt: It's a podcast for entrepreneurs where we're trying to help them connect the meaning with their money. Who are you? Jim Gebhart. 

Matthew Grishman: Oh, I'm Matthew Grishman, and we're a couple of financial guys having a not so traditional financial conversation called The Whole Wealth Journey.

Here we go.

Jim Gebhradt: What 

Matthew Grishman: are you grateful 

Jim Gebhradt: for? Exactly. That's what I'm gonna ask you. Oh, what 

Matthew Grishman: are, what are you grateful for? You making me go first today? Yes. You always do that. [00:01:00] Okay. I've got a lot of gratitude. 

Jim Gebhradt: We have three minutes. 

Matthew Grishman: Just because I have a lot of gratitude doesn't mean I have to talk about it for a long period of time.

Jim Gebhradt: Oh, all right. 

Matthew Grishman: I'm very grateful that at one point, and many in our tribe might be able to go back a few episodes to remember this. At one point I was not the most popular dad in my family. 

Jim Gebhradt: Are there more than one dad in your family? 

Matthew Grishman: No. I just wasn't the most popular dad in my family, according to my boys.

And I got to watch my oldest son, miles, get down on a knee and ask the woman he loves to marry him. You got to watch that. I got to watch that. I was asked to be there. Wow. And participate just now. That's not a small conversation. It was up to this point in life. Probably one of the coolest things, if not the coolest thing I've ever seen with my eyes.

It filled me up, man. It was just. To, to know where my relationship with my boys has been and to be asked to [00:02:00] be a part of the most important day of his life up to this point is just awesome. I'm so incredibly grateful. Fat. 

Jim Gebhradt: All right. And that's a wrap for this episode. 

Matthew Grishman: So that's my gratitude. How about you, kiddo?

That is awesome. Thank you. Well, I'm, I'm 

Jim Gebhradt: still, I still gotta, we, I, I can't come off of the, uh, the miles piece that is just, that's extraordinary. 

Matthew Grishman: Yes. 

Jim Gebhradt: How about you kiddo? What's on the gratitude list? Well, as, uh, ACE was reminding me earlier as we were doing our pregame, we've had most of the members of my family in the studio.

Yes, we have. And we have another member of the family, all 48 of them. Grace, our daughter Grace is in studio today. Hey, she's in currently in charge of, uh, all of our social media. So as we continue to blow up on the, on the gram, as they call it, 

Matthew Grishman: oh, is that what it is now? Uh, 

Jim Gebhradt: that is directly proportional to Grace's efforts.

Nice. So I'm thrilled to spend the day with her. I'm thrilled to have her in studio. And, uh, we're gonna turn the hot mic over to Grace for a little gratitude. [00:03:00] 

Grace Gebhardt: Uhoh. 

Jim Gebhradt: Here we go. Hey, now what 

Matthew Grishman: are you grateful for? 

Grace Gebhardt: I am grateful for my new friend Robin Holt, who has helped me immensely in my post grad journey to start my job search.

She has helped me thanks to my parents as. This is a who, not how 

Matthew Grishman: there, whoa, somebody's been listening. 

Jim Gebhradt: How about it? 

Matthew Grishman: Wow, the show is dropping, paid off, dropping content right in two minutes or less. 

Grace Gebhardt: She has helped me prepare myself for the world of work in terms of my resume, my portfolio, how to start looking for a job, and I'm extremely grateful for her.

Jim Gebhradt: If I can just layer onto that for a second. Of course. Uh, Robin, layer free. We don't usually use, you know, real names of real people on the show, but Robin is an absolute dear friend. Her husband Dick was our realtor on all three of our houses. He's an ex-Navy vet. He was just one of the most amazing [00:04:00] people I've ever met, as is Robin.

She's celebrating her eighth decade on earth and then some. Wow. And she is truly inspiring to spend time with. She's engaged, she's sharp, she's with it, she's current. She's engaging with, you know, continuing to do what she's done for many, many years in the career development category. Yeah, I'm not sure she's a listener of the show, but I think she will be after today's episode.

Uh, if Grace has anything to do with it. So, well, 

Matthew Grishman: let's tag her in the, is it the gram or the ins? Or the ig. Oh, the ig. So if we tag her in the ig, maybe she will become a listener. I love it. Love. That's awesome. 

Jim Gebhradt: Love it. Well, it's awesome having you in studio today, grace. 

Grace Gebhardt: I'm happy to be here. Thanks for having me.

Yeah, 

Jim Gebhradt: way cool. Awesome. Way. Cool. What do we, uh, what do we got on tap? What are we cooking? What's, what is Shake and Bacon in the world of the whole wealth journey? 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah, great question. Uh, last, last episode. I feel like you and I were the big beneficiaries of what we did last time and, and I don't [00:05:00] mean in studio, I mean what we were talking about, what we were showing the tribe, you and I do in the unpacking of your story, right, the initial discovery phase of the whole wealth journey, we shared a lot about the questioning we take.

Prospective clients through in that first meeting, right? Our whole kind of form conversation where we're learning about your family, your occupation, your recreation, your money. We put a little, you know, kind of a spin on that from what we've learned from our real estate friends, where they shift that last money piece to more about your dreams, but to really understand the people that mean the most in life and.

How you give your gifts occupationally, how you go out and have fun in the world, and then whether it's money and or dreams, we get into, I mean, these are pretty meaty topics. That we've had with people. And I, I kind of feel like at this point in the conversation, you and I tend to be the biggest beneficiaries because you and I really get off on like [00:06:00] learning about people.

Like it's, it's, it's fulfilling for us. 

Jim Gebhradt: I, the, the natural question that pops up is why, why do two financial advisors care about that? Why is that line of interrogation and questioning important in the relationship that we're building with the client? 

Matthew Grishman: Sure. Very simply put it, it's, it's how we do our job to the best of our ability.

I mean, the, the nuance behind how you structure money, how you position money. I mean, I get it. The market's going up and up and up and up and up and sometimes it feels really easy to just throw a bunch of, you know, money against the wall stakes. Yeah. Just jump on board and go Right, go, go get yourself some SPY and QQQ and Woohoo.

A whole bunch of Nvidia and a bunch of other stocks. Don't forget, 

Jim Gebhradt: don't forget Bitcoin. 

Matthew Grishman: Oh, yeah, yeah. Gotta have a little, gotta have a slice. Diversification right. Present tight. So, I mean, I know it feels easy to just throw money against the wall and, and see what sticks. You and I have learned that [00:07:00] to be able to connect the things that are most important in someone's life to how their money is meant to be structured, gives it that much more of a chance of, of happening, of lasting, of being successful, of being intentional with your money.

I mean, I remember when you and I first met. I was like the poster child of the guy who did really, really well financially, like great cash flow. But I would look at my bank account at the end of the month and go, where the hell did all my money go? Right? 

Jim Gebhradt: No intentionality 

Matthew Grishman: because I was not clear on the things that really meant the most to me.

So when you and I have that conversation with people and we understand what truly motivates them, who truly, truly motivates them, why they get outta bed every day, where they generate the fun in their life, and then what their values about money are really all about and what their dreams look like. I mean, I love asking [00:08:00] people about what did you want to be when you were a little kid?

Especially if they're not doing it right now, right? Like, what is that dream? And is it possible that if we position your money in a certain way, we could go chase that dream a little bit in in life 3.0? So, very fair question, but. To me, it's just as simple as it allows us to do our job that much better.

Jim Gebhradt: Oh, ab Absolutely. From our, from our side of the street. Yes. Yeah. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhradt: And I think for the client, it's an opportunity to slow things down and let them unpack some of these, you know, thoughts and feelings. These, these, I mean, and the hundreds of times that we've done this partner, there's a lot of times, this is the first time they've ever had these kinds of conversations with money people.

Yeah. And we can't, we can't emphasize it enough that the money is just the tool, right? And if we don't have great clarity on who the client is and what their aspirations are and what's meaningful to them and who's meaningful to them, [00:09:00] it does, it makes our job much. I mean, it just, we're kind of taking shots in the dark at, okay, are we just gonna go chase returns or are we actually going to align the money with the meaning behind?

What these clients are all about. 

Matthew Grishman: Well, let me, let me also tee this up because I think this also goes to your question of, you know, why do we go through this kind of brain damage when, you know, hey, somebody could walk in and based on their age and risk tolerance, we could tell you exactly what to do with your money in about 30 seconds.

In fact, AI could even shorten that to about five seconds if we, if we really wanted to. What is the most important thing we do for clients? What is the most when? When we have a long relationship with a client and our phone rings? What's the most valuable thing we ever do for a client? 

Jim Gebhradt: We give them the opportunity to answer their own question.

Keep going, right? Is the clarity that comes from this. This process starts to form a level of confidence that they've probably never had about [00:10:00] their money and their decision making around money, because the last thing you and I ever wanna be is in the permission business, right? We, we've seen too many times in our industry, and I'm, we're, we're not bagging on everybody, but there's a lot of advisors that like to be in the permission business because it gives them a sense of control or power in the relationship.

That's an antithetical to what we want to do. We want the client to be empowered to make their own decisions through this process. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. Yeah. I've met, I've met. Plenty of advisors in my life where I've, where I've seen that and I've worked with, with Plenty where, where I've seen that, where it's a control thing.

And the most important thing like you shared is by knowing this stuff about people by, by going deep with them and understanding what really drives them. The who's and the how's and the what's. And then ultimately in the next episode, we're gonna get a little more into the why's. Then when the question comes in, like when I called you.

Say, Hey dude, [00:11:00] Amy and I are thinking about doing a thing, that thing's gonna run us about 25 grand. Uh, what do you think? Right? I mean, a little part of me wants to do it, but I'm kind of looking for your permission and you refuse to give it to me. Absolutely. And so the importance of you knowing. Family, occupation, recreation, money, and a few more questions that we're about to go down and talk about allows you to position back to me different questions that help me better analyze whether that's a good decision or not based on what's important to me.

For 

Jim Gebhradt: me, that that's the art and science of what we do 

Matthew Grishman: well, that the most important thing I've gotten as you, you being my financial advisor. That's how like so much of this has developed this podcast thing that we're doing is we're living the example of. Uh, once upon a time, a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, I walked into your office in 2005 and desperately needed some help, right?

And fast [00:12:00] forward 20 years later, and here you and I are standing shoulder to shoulder doing the same shit for people, which is awesome because the gift you gave me. Is this empowerment, this capability that I never felt that I had, not because you wanted to substitute and play the role of Hank my dad by giving me permission to how I use my money, but rather, let me ask you some very specific questions because of how well I know you at this point.

That's gonna help you get more clarity on what the right decision is. And through that clarity, you start to develop some confidence in your own ability to make financial decisions. And then voila, look at this whole new capability you've just developed right in front of my very eyes. And for me to see how satisfying that was to you to know that you had that impact on me.

Oh, 

Jim Gebhradt: yeah. I mean that's, that's the, that's the pure joy that comes from what we do. Absolutely. So it's not beating the benchmark of the s and p 500? No, no. I don't. Who [00:13:00] gives a shit about that, that, but snooze 

Matthew Grishman: air, going back to where I started, this is the gift that clients continue to give you and me over and over and over, is this ability to know that we've made a difference and we've.

Help them achieve this sense of capability, this newfound sense of capability. So given that it's been a little bit about you and me being the big beneficiary, I think today, let's spend a little time on kind of the second half Yeah. Of how we go through this unpacked decision. Because I think this is really where our clients walk away with a framework and.

The insight into what really matters most and what really drives them when it comes to money, especially if they haven't had that kind of clarity before. Some of the questions that you and I have developed simply from you and I having conversation that now gets to be shared with clients has [00:14:00] been, oh yeah, incredible and.

I remember when I got to sit down with you and Beth and take you through our whole wealth journey process. Yep. Granted, we're still going through it 'cause we gotta get you guys in for the Money Guide Pro piece and get you into some software, but that'll be okay. Yeah. We'll, we'll be all right. Yeah, we'll be okay.

But the hard part we did talk about that experience. 

Jim Gebhradt: It's making me think of a, of a client that we're completely mirror images of, in terms of the husband and the wife that you and 

Matthew Grishman: Beth are. Beth 

Jim Gebhradt: and I are kind of almost the exact mirror roles of one another in terms of Beth is kind of day to day in the trenches short term.

Tactical. Right. And I'm in strategic command with the long-term vision and the aerial attack and the assault over the long battlefield. So best 

Matthew Grishman: watch the pennies and you're watching the dollars. 

Jim Gebhradt: Right. 

Matthew Grishman: Okay. 

Jim Gebhradt: And that has evolved over our 30 years together to where? Towards the end of the month. 'cause we keep the [00:15:00] checkbook pretty tight.

Where it stresses her out, and that never makes me feel good. But she's, she's looking at it tactically on a day-to-day basis, and we don't keep a lot of cash in the checking account, partly because, you know, expenses expand to the cash allotted, right? So if we keep that tight. There's a natural tendency that it just doesn't get swiped away in, you know, Amazon land, right?

So for us, it's this ongoing ying and yang and this ongoing conversation that we have every month. Right about, well, you know it was birthday season, right? And we've got this and that and this and that. Okay, we need to move a little more cash from the Schwab money market account over to the bank account.

We don't sit down and have money conversations as much as I know Beth would like. Yeah. And that, and some of that's on me because again, in strategic command at at 10,000 feet, I can look out and it's, we're good. We're 

Matthew Grishman: good. Right? It's all good. Well, so [00:16:00] what does that mean to you?

So for the longest time 

Jim Gebhardt: for me, it was if we had 10 grand somewhere like, just like somewhere. We were good. Right. Serial entrepreneur, just blowing and going, uh, you know, my ability to make more money, not a problem. Right. That's evolved to where now it's, you know, six figures in cash, so it's changed. It's changed.

Yeah. And, and that evolution I think also has a little bit to do with our aging. Right. I mean, we are not. We're not risk averse by any means, but our appetite for risk is definitely a little bit less, and life has definitely thrown some curve balls. Oh eight definitely taught me the benefit of having some cash and not just using debt for building assets.

And I'm, I'm much more. Aware of Beth's stress around all of this so that we, we keep a lot more cash than we ever have [00:17:00] and God bless. There's another thing to be grateful for is that, you know, our business has been able to produce the cash that we can just tuck aside and it doesn't go to whatever the next project is.

Right? Whether it's landscaping or finishing this or remodeling that, or, no, the, the cash is there when more cash comes in. Then we can have conversation around where that's going to be deployed relative to needs and wants and wishes. Mm-hmm. And if you haven't had this conversation with your partner, it's a very powerful conversation to have.

Not that you have to be on the same page. Right. That's the point. I would, I would probably keep less cash, but I, I keep more cash than we've ever had. And look, we have clients that are keeping seven figures worth of cash. Sure. Right. It's whatever is, and that's, that's why we kind of ask both partners, what is, what is that financial confidence for you?

What does it, what does it look like to have X number of dollars in the bank? And the number of times we've gotten blank stares back. Like, what? What do you mean? Like what do you, what do you mean? Well, like if [00:18:00] you woke up tomorrow and you went on your phone and you went to your bank app and it had. X number of dollars in the bank, you would go

like, what does that feel like? Sure. Right. And as an entrepreneur, and for many members of our tribe, that's not something that happens overnight because you're, you're pumping everything back into the business, right. And pumping everything back into the business. That's 

Matthew Grishman (2): the rub between the entrepreneur and the entrepreneur's partner.

That's been the rub in your family. And that's been the rub in my family is that, you know, cash. It is not meant to sit there and create financial confidence because it doesn't, that's wasted money that's not being invested in what you and I believe is the most valuable investment, which is you and me. So for many of the entrepreneurs, including you and me at times, has been about the ability to continue to.

Go out and do what we do and have the capital to invest in that, to grow in it. 'cause we believe in ourselves 

Jim Gebhradt: and the entrepreneurs [00:19:00] that we've talked with where, where they're like, well, my ROI on the business is, you know, 42%. So why would I have any cash lying around if I can reinvest it into something else and get, you know, return on your investment.

And it's like we look at the cash in a very different way. Yeah. You and I, yeah. In the context of it has a, a specific role. In your portfolio, which is to do exactly that, not necessarily to earn an ROI. Sure, 

Matthew Grishman: sure. That's taken time, but that's also taken compromise. That's taken you sitting down with Beth, me sitting down with Amy and having some open conversation about what does financial confidence look like for us, because in this conversation there are three people involved.

There's me, 

Jim Gebhradt: the father of the son, and the Holy Ghost. 

Matthew Grishman (2): Sure. But we'll do that more in the next podcast. Okay. There's me, there's her, there's us. And so accounting for the fact that there might be three completely different [00:20:00] definitions of what financial confidence looks like. We have to get that out. We have to talk about that because if we don't talk about that, you might have two partners going in very, very different directions, developing all these resentments towards one another.

Because we have very different beliefs about what financial confidence looks like and the other partners completely sabotaging what I need to feel to be secure. And when you look at the number of partnerships, both personal and business that fail as a result of financial issues, it's.

Ginormous. So as simple as just having a conversation about what does financial confidence look like to you? What does it look like to me, and how do we take those two things and create something that creates financial confidence for us? I will never forget a conversation that Amy and I had about how unbelievably unsafe she once felt and we're going back years and years and years when she was at Target with a full cart worth of [00:21:00] stuff.

And the card was declined and there was no purchasing power to do anything about it that's gonna leave some scar tissue. Oh. So, oh yeah. No matter how much I believed in what you and I were building, there's no way we could be financially confident within our partnership. Right. If that need was not being addressed and met.

Right. And it took a lot of years for me to. Open up to that. Okay, well how do we create a process that allows me to continue investing in what we're building, but at the same time allow for there to be some cash lying around at all times. Yeah. So that that never happens again. 

Jim Gebhradt: Well, going back to one of the points you said earlier in terms of, you know, 20 years ago you lacked any real intentionality with the money.

Right? Right. That's one of the other really. Key takeaways for the client in this exercise, in this con, in this series of conversations is they start to recognize perhaps they need greater [00:22:00] intentionality with their money. Like what? What is this pot of money for when this money comes in? What is this for sure?

Right? And. To your point on the, the three relationships? Well, I mean, we, we have clients that I'm, I'm really not a fan of this personally, but it's not, you know, my, my bias isn't really supposed to be in the room on this one where they have three bank accounts. Sure. His, hers and ours. They have, you know, they have, they each have their own and then they have ours.

Right. And they contribute to those in different ways. And I, I mean, I've. Pretty much seen it all when it comes to how that works. Again, that's not, that doesn't feel like we're rowing the boat in the same direction. Sure. If I can just take my piece and go do whatever I want with it, you know, without any discussion, it doesn't exactly feel like we're on the same page again.

That's my, that's my bias. 

Matthew Grishman (2): You, you and Beth have been able to figure out how to honor what's financial confidence to the both of you and at It's not perfect. I know it's [00:23:00] not perfect, but intuitively you two have been fairly aligned with some of that stuff, and you've been able to compromise incredibly well, which allows you to have the trust in the relationship.

Where that money can be in the same place. And it's not suggestive that people who have separate bank accounts lack trust. It's not about that. No, no. It's that just sometimes to see the construct of honoring financial confidence for each of the individuals requires a separation of assets to honor that, to do that.

And that's perfectly okay. That's not for you. It's not for me. Yeah. It's our job to honor that. Exactly. When, when it does make sense for people. Yeah. Now, the other side of the coin, right? One, once you and I got some clarity on what financial confidence looked like, that also creates some vision, right? As we talk about what that looks like, it becomes real, right?

We may think about what it looks like, but there's something that happens in the universe. I don't understand. But when you [00:24:00] talk about something or you write about something that, at this, this point or you, you visualize 

Jim Gebhradt: about something. Well, that, that, that's, that's my latest 

Matthew Grishman: obsession is visualization.

Well, that's, sure. But what do you do with the visualization? Where does it show up? 

Jim Gebhradt: It, it shows up, 

Matthew Grishman: but, but Right. But it has to go from a thought into an action for it to show up, whether you're talking about it or whether you're writing about it. That's how you visualize what you want created. In my world, in my experience, that's been my experience.

I can't take a thought in my head and turn it into something real unless it comes outta my mouth or down my arm in on my hand into paper. 

Jim Gebhradt: Yeah. The only thing I would add to that is in the doing. Action you're doing. You're taking action, yes, toward it. 

Matthew Grishman: When thought becomes action, then something happens where it can visualize and happens.

So we're doing that with the financial confidence question, but at the same time, we also need to understand what our biggest roadblocks are. What is it? And I'm, I'm gonna ask you this 'cause I'm curious. I haven't asked you this in a long time, and I imagine [00:25:00] it's changed just as financial confidence. 

Jim Gebhradt: I hope I have an answer.

Matthew Grishman (2): Well, financial confidence has gone from 10 grand to maybe six figures in cash. So I would imagine the answer to this question has also changed. What keeps you up at night about money? 

Jim Gebhradt: Honestly, 

Matthew Grishman: yeah, 

Jim Gebhradt: nothing anymore. Nothing. 

Matthew Grishman: Outstanding. 

Jim Gebhradt: Nothing. 

Matthew Grishman: Tell me more. I mean, it used to be No, no, no. Tell me more about that.

Oh, don't, don't use to be yet. Um, why Nothing 

Jim Gebhradt: keeps you up at night about money. No. Um, it's, it's like a big blank space. I, I mean, I know markets go up and down, so what we have invested goes up, it goes down, it goes up, it goes down, okay. Clients come and go. More clients come than go. Nothing keeps me up about money anymore.

It's the, it's, it's a really weird thing because that was not always the case. Mm. I can, I can't. I wish I could actually, you know, draw a line in the sand [00:26:00] on like when that shifted for me. But scarcity around money has left the room. 

Matthew Grishman: That's great. 

Jim Gebhradt: It is. It's wonderful. 

Matthew Grishman: What, what used to keep you up at night about money scarcity.

Oh. 

Jim Gebhardt: Oh, not enough. Where, where's the next buck coming from? How, how am I gonna not only earn it, but keep it is, you know, are we ever gonna have enough? How are we gonna pay for this? How are we gonna pay for that? The timing, the sequence, right? We had credit card debt at times where it was just, as I've shared on the podcast before, but for those new listeners, you know, there's good debt and there's bad debt, and.

Debt is only bad to the extent you don't believe in the investment, right? Classic examples, the house, you buy a house, you take on a lot of debt because you believe in the structure. You believe in the home that you're going to be investing in and building a family and the location of it and all the other la la, la that goes with it.

There were times growing up, uh, when our family was growing up where we had investments to [00:27:00] make in what we believed in them. Didn't line up with our cashflow. So we had credit card debt. Or you could go back and you could look at the mess that we were financially in oh eight and oh nine, post the great financial crisis where we owned two homes a mile apart and one was not a vacation home.

And our business was going 45 degrees into the ground because the stock market was dropping like a rock. So income was dropping and we were adjusting lifestyle to the extent we could, but we couldn't sell the old house. We racked up all kinds of debt in that process. That wasn't, as a financial advisor, I would not recommend that to most people.

Sure. And so it's like, well, we don't, as we talk about with our clients in terms of investing, you know, Beth and I didn't get to repeat our thirties. We didn't get to repeat our forties. Sure. Right. The thirties were rough. Sure. Rough. Sure. Financially like that left an unbelievable amount of scar tissue.

So what was financial [00:28:00] confidence then? Purchasing power. Right? Credit available credit. 

Matthew Grishman: Being able to, in my thirties, 

Jim Gebhradt: yeah. Because of everything that went on with the global financial crisis. Sure. So then, you know, as we, as we not just dug out of that personally, but we, as we were building the business. What shifted in my mind in terms of, you know, what keeps me up about night, about money was as the business kept getting stronger and more financially, not just solvent, but thriving, the trickle down effect to that, to you and me has been pretty, pretty beneficial.

And so at some point in the last five, seven years, even through COVID, the scarcity around money left. Not that we're swimming in it by any means, but in terms of worrying about making an investment in this experience or making an investment in, in this project around the house, or making an investment in me or Beth [00:29:00] or the kids, the money is both there and it, and I know it's going to show up because of.

Everything that we do with the business and the health and the welfare of the business. 

Matthew Grishman (2): I'm gonna make a suggestion. Thank you for sharing that. I'm gonna make a suggestion to you. Think about it, consider it, you don't have to respond or answer that your money scarcity left and you felt this deep sense of financial confidence because you've gone through this process that we are describing where you understand what that looks like to you.

You understand what does keep you up at night about money, which are those old things that. Aren't part of your life now, and you've also gone through the process of the whole wealth journey of becoming very intentional with all seven asset classes four or 500 

Jim Gebhradt: times. 

Matthew Grishman: Well, isn't, I mean, come on selfishly.

When you and I are helping other people, we're we're also helping ourselves. Certainly, when other [00:30:00] people share certainly what they're going through, you and I get to see a little snapshot of our own lives exist. In other people, and we get to help them through that process, which also helps us, I mean, come on, the best way out of your own head is into somebody else's heart.

Absolutely. Absolutely. It's 

Jim Gebhradt: time and time and time 

Matthew Grishman: again. It's why I get up to serve every day. There's a selflessness in knowing that I was put here on Earth to be part of something bigger, to support my tribe, to be helpful to my tribe, to go out and invest in myself so I can develop a, a, a superpower or two that can really add value to people I care about.

And in return for doing that, I get something. Ace and I were talking about this when we first got in studio today. It's like, I feel like now in my life, you know, I was asked recently, uh, to define work life balance. Excuse me, Uhhuh. I'm like, what? What's that? The point being is that there was a time where we had a very [00:31:00] different work and personal life, right?

We turned work on and off. We turned our personal life on and off, and I kind of feel like you and I have this. This clarity and this like security in our lives. This, if I could say faith that's been developed over years and years and years of experience where a little wisdom is crept in. Where now it's like, okay, I'm here to help people and I'm just gonna show up every day and help people.

And some days in doing that. My payment comes in the form of a little deposit in the bank account. Other days, and more often, the payment comes in a form of kind of this deep spiritual feeling of fulfillment where it's just like, it's cool shit. I helped somebody today. It just, it feels good. It just, I mean, of all the dopamine hits I've ever had in my life that I've had to kind of get rid of, the one that I'm grateful for, that I never have to get rid of is the feeling I get.

From helping another human from connecting with another [00:32:00] human. So if we can help people have meaningful conversation, that creates a stronger sense of relationship, a stronger bond, it creates more intentionality with how people use money, where they're not looking at their bank account at the end of the month going where the Frick did it all.

Did it all go, holy crap, and then boom. Just speaking from experience, major arguments and fights coming out of that, right? Oh, sure. I mean, if we can heal a little bit of that and prevent some of that shit from happening, ooh, I'm feeling really good about my day. Exactly. Really good about my day. 

Jim Gebhradt: Well, and to the, to the superpower conversation that, that question about work-life balance, that that's part of the other.

Experience that you and I have had is the more time we can spend in our superpower or anyone can spend in their superpower. Mm-hmm. It blurs that line between work and and life because you're just, you, you just are. You're just living your life and you're giving that gift wherever you go. And to your point, on some days it pays you money.

Some [00:33:00] days it pays you psychically with, you know, good vibes. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. 

Jim Gebhradt: That's another. Big takeaway for clients in this process is that, you know, we help them get clear on that superpower. Yes. Because if they are planning to take their successful business and exit it in some form or fashion, I. We are eager to want to help them see how they're going to continue to use those superpowers because their feet still need to hit the floor with a purpose.

Well after the transaction and the money lands in the bank account and getting real clarity on what that superpower is and how they can continue to use it is that's some of the most fun that you and I get to have. Yes. Is watching them go do that. Post-retirement, post-sale, post 

Matthew Grishman: exit, whatever you want to call it.

I saw your superpower on display the first time I met. You didn't fully understand it, but I saw it and, and this kind of, what's the word we used to use? Congruency. Yeah. Oh yeah. This kind of congruency. Yeah. I've spent enough [00:34:00] time with you in a podcast studio in steak houses, in steak houses across 

Jim Gebhradt: America 

Matthew Grishman: in our boardroom with clients.

I've spent time with you on the couch in your house. I've spent time with you on golf courses. I've spent time with you airplanes in ev. Well, we don't do that. I don't When's the last time you and I we have flew together, but it's been a long time. Rental cars. Rental cars. Sure. I mean, we, we have spent time in all these different arenas, health clubs, workplaces, and personal places.

And you're the same fricking dude. Everywhere we go, thank God everywhere we go. 

Jim Gebhradt: You know how exhausting it would be to not 

Matthew Grishman: well, so most people. Don't feel the kind of clarity, confidence, and capability to where they feel comfortable doing that. Can I like, I gotta put on a mask when I go to work every day.

Jim Gebhradt: Can I plug your first book? Oh boy. 

Matthew Grishman: No. You can plug the second book. 

Jim Gebhradt: Okay. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. I'm still gonna plug the first book. I hate the first book. 

Jim Gebhradt: It's okay. You're supposed to, it was your first book. I 

Matthew Grishman: hate 

Jim Gebhradt: it. How? It's a lot more books than I've ever written. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. But I was also drunk when I wrote it and really, really pissed off.

So I [00:35:00] hate the book, but go ahead and plug it anyway. 

Jim Gebhradt: Thematically. 

Matthew Grishman: Thematically. Thematically, 

Jim Gebhradt: we're just gonna go at the Take it off. Yeah. Right. That was the name. And the context had nothing to do with clothing. It had to do with the mask. Right. And taking the mask off in terms of this work life balance.

Yes. And not being a different person here than you are there, right? Yes, yes. Whether I bumped into you at the office, the gym, the airport, the grocery store, the synagogue. That concept of the mask exhausts a lot of people because they're wearing a mask in certain times that they then have to take off.

Like yesterday, you and I were in the city. And we're in a coffee shop. I'm not gonna reference a coffee shop 'cause it's not my favorite. And we're standing there waiting for our, our gourmet drip coffee. The pour over, the pour over coffee. And my neighbor says hi. Right. Outta nowhere. Outta nowhere. That was awesome.

And he, he was no, I mean, sure he was in his work, his work threads, but [00:36:00] he was the same. And hopefully I was the same. And that, that's, that's refreshing when you see people out of context and they're actually the same, the same dude. And it doesn't catch you off guard. Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, oh, I gotta go snap into like gym work mode Now, here we are.

Yes. Reporting the financials of today in the markets and how are we doing? Bobs Yes. So I hate that 

Matthew Grishman: that's all in a blender where I think things started to change for you. 'cause you've always had that about you. You've always had this congruency from the time that I met you. Yeah, because back in the day where you wore the suit in the uniform, maybe it was a little different because.

Jim Gebhardt: I was introduced to superpower V slightly before I met you. Yeah, before that. Oh no, I was definitely wearing a mask. I mean, I, particularly my Merrill Lynch days with the French cuffs and the suits and the ties and the, the whole nine yards. The white, the white collar and shirt, the blue shirt, the white contrast and collar.

Come on. Yeah. I was playing a role. Gordon Gecko baby. Oh yeah. Greed is good. [00:37:00] Right. Let's turn a LaPage and have you reflect a little bit on this concept of financial confidence . No, I, because I think it's, no, 

Matthew Grishman: no, I don't get vulnerable like that. 

Jim Gebhradt: I think it's changed a little bit for you there. Moan, Frere over the years.

So 

Matthew Grishman (2): what's the question? What are you asking me? I did ask you, oh, what does financial confidence look like for me? Exactly. That's a great question because I think it's evolved. A, a sco it has, but it hasn't. It Still means the same thing to me. It's just I have it now. I didn't have it then.

Did you lose it, um, or did you gain 

Jim Gebhradt: it back? 

Matthew Grishman (2): I don't know that I ever had it because what that confidence looks like to me is clarity in how my money best serves me. That's what it looks like to me is, is knowing, like having this sense of intention where I'm looking at my bank account at the end of the month and I know where all my money goes.

For the most part, there's still a little that slips through the [00:38:00] cracks. There's still some subscriptions out there that progress, not perfection, right? Absolutely. But for the most part, I'm clear on how my money is being used to support the things that are most important to me. When I look at my core values, which we're gonna get into a little more in the next episode, when I look at what's most important to me, I don't think twice.

About swiping, tapping, or clicking a financial transaction when it's within one of those four categories. And the one I'm thinking of right now is my health investing significantly in how I feel, how I look. How just my body moves has been one of the greatest investments I've ever made because the trickle down on the rest of my life, just the way my brain functions, the way I strategically now show up as a business partner to you has completely changed because of the investment that I've put.

Jim Gebhradt: I think you have a Ted talk about this, do you not? Yeah. 

Matthew Grishman: Maybe. Maybe there might be a little, uh, a little in invest. You know, [00:39:00] the greatest investment I ever made. If you go out onto YouTube and do a little search. Exactly. You might find a little Ted Talk talk. Little Ted talk. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And that talk was me envisioning what that could actually look like.

'cause when I gave that talk, I didn't exactly have it. I didn't exactly fully believe what I was saying, but I knew it was possible. That was me 42 pounds ago, taking a thought. Many, many pounds ago and many, many iterations of how this brain works. Taking a thought and putting it into writing and words.

And making an intention. Yeah. And here we are four years later and it's all happening because of the investment I've made in myself. I'm the proof of that TED talk. So if nobody else ever watches it or listens to it, it helped me. And that's frankly, all that matters. So those are the kinds of conversations when we go through the unpack process.

To answer your very first question, why do we do this? This is why [00:40:00] to give people this kind of clarity, to take thoughts and ideas, because look, most entrepreneurs we meet are thinking about these things, right? They are thinking about these things, but to take them from thoughts to share them with your partner.

To turn them into actions so that we can envision the possibility of this happening in our lives to develop a greater sense of clarity, of confidence, and now this capability to make some of these incredible financial decisions together. That's why we do what we do. 

Jim Gebhradt: That to me, sounds like a wrap. 

Matthew Grishman: Would that my friend?

Jim Gebhradt: Yeah, that's a wrap.

Matthew Grishman: Thanks for joining us today on the Whole Wealth Journey. Are you ready to start planning for a future that's rich in wealth and wellbeing? Then click like and subscribe and make sure you don't miss a single episode of the Whole Wealth Journey. So if we've struck a nerve with you today, where do people go?

You can [00:41:00] find us at gib hart whole wealth.com. That's G-E-B-H-A-R-D-T whole wealth.com. We'll see you next time. 

Jeff Holden: Jim Gab Hart is a registered representative of Integrity Alliance, LLC. Securities and Investment Advisory Services offered through Integrity Alliance, LLC, member SIPC. Gab Hart Group Incorporated is not affiliated with Integrity Wealth.

Jim Gab Hart and Matthew Grishman are investment advisor representatives of Gab Hart Group Incorporated a registered investment advisor. The opinions in this podcast are for informational purposes only and are not intended to provide specific advice or investment recommendations to determine which investment or financial advice may be appropriate for you.

Consult a financial advisor prior to investing. Any reference to market performance is based on historical information and there is no [00:42:00] expressed or implied guarantee of future performance. Opinions expressed on this program do not necessarily reflect those of Integrity Alliance LLC. The topics discussed and opinions given are not intended to address the specific needs of any listener.

Gbb Hart Group Incorporated does not offer legal or tax advice. Listeners are encouraged to discuss their financial needs with the appropriate professional regarding your individual circumstance.