Episode 166: Living Your "Why" by Understanding Who, Not How.

In this episode the guys, Jim and Matthew, put a bow on their financial planning framework and talk about what really happens once the plan is “done” and you’re launched into Life 3.0 — the season where you finally get to live your why.

They explore what most people actually do the moment they exit a business or retire (hint: it usually starts with a passport), why the first 10 “go-go” years can be the most expensive years of your life, and how that clashes with the industry myth that you’ll only need 70–80% of your working income in retirement.

Through real client stories, hear how the best-laid blueprints often change: from restoring a historic Victorian to suddenly moving across the country, or from corporate burnout to a fully expressed creative life. You’ll hear how a thoughtful plan gives you permission to pivot without panic.

Most importantly, they unpack the real value of an advisor once the portfolio is built and the wealth gap is closed. It’s not about chasing returns—it’s about having a “family CFO” who walks with you through best times or your worst or final hour.

If you’ve created significant wealth and are now asking “What’s next?” this conversation will help you reframe the question you ask your advisor from “How much can you make me?” to “How will you be there for me and my family when it matters most?”

Chapter Summaries:

(00:00) 

Importance of building a supportive team and focusing on "who, not how" in navigating life's challenges with trusted professionals and individuals.

(09:37) Launching Into Life 3.0
Retirees transition into new phase of life, living their "why" with higher spending and difficulty making office visits.

(16:55) Living Your Why
Retirees like Hank and Jill often live vibrant lives, embracing their unique abilities and finding fulfillment in creative pursuits.

(29:23) Navigating Life's Financial Challenges
Having a trusted financial advisor is crucial for navigating life's challenges, similar to the security provided by insurance.

Learn more about The Whole Wealth Journey and get periodic updates or helpful content by getting on our email list HERE. Entrepreneurs, exit strategies and personal financial planning before the sale are topics you can count on every episode.  You can follow us on Instagram @thewholewealthjourney. 

Transcript

Jim Gebhardt: [00:00:00] Isn't that really the question you should be asking your advisor is, are you going to be there for me in my worst hour or my final hour? Better yet, 

Matthew Grishman: how are you going to be there for me? Ask that question. How do you show up for your clients? In their hardest times, in their most challenging financial situation.

Hey, what's this whole Wealth Journey podcast thing all about? 

Jim Gebhardt: It's a podcast for entrepreneurs where we're trying to help them connect the meaning with their money. Who are you? Jim Gehart. 

Matthew Grishman: Oh, I'm Matthew Grishman, and we're a couple of financial guys having a not so traditional financial conversation called The Whole Wealth Journey.

Here we go.

So what are we grateful for [00:01:00] today? 

Jim Gebhardt: We haven't talked about this in a while, and Lindsay and Jeff are gonna love how I ramble on for this another eight or 12 minutes, but no, I'm not. You and I are big believers in the concept of a team, and that team is, I don't just mean here at the at Ghar group, but it's the extended team of all the supporting.

Cast of professionals that help us. Okay. Personally, professionally, sure. If you have a Mo and blow guy, that's somebody on your team, if you have a housekeeper or who's keeper that comes or who's that comes periodically. That's someone else on your team. I love my who's, and I love my team, and I've had the same relationship with a chiropractor for over, over 20 years, probably closer to 25 now.

And it's funny because I forget, oh, I should go see Earl. And this morning, we're a little later in studio today by, thank you everybody for your flexibility, because I went in for some tissue work with this nagging shoulder that I have, and the [00:02:00] combination of Eric's tissue work for an hour, and then this crazy new technology called, I think it's called Stem Wave, which is.

This sound wave technology that breaks up adhesions and all this. And he was going over my arm with this wonder wand like I was trying to get ready to pitch in the NLCS tonight, and it hasn't felt this good in quite some time. Nice. So I am grateful for the concept of team and the fact that there are different professionals I can lean on as my life shifts and changes.

And really what that all comes down to is the level of relationship that I've had with everyone in his office from Tina, who is his scheduler and receptionist. We were talking about our son, Jack, who's in studying abroad right now, and she remembers him coming in in a stroller. That's how long we've been a client or a customer of this particular chiropractor.

So this sense of relationship, this sense of team, this sense of having who's in my life to support me. It's something I'm incredibly [00:03:00] grateful for today. 

Nice. Nice. I will do, I look taller. 

Matthew Grishman: You do. Okay. You, you are sitting a little higher in studio today than you normally do. Excellent. So it must be that shoulder is is back a little bit.

Yeah. Very nice. Exactly. The 

Jim Gebhardt: blades are contracted. Very 

Matthew Grishman: nice. Well done. Very well done. And 

Jim Gebhardt: uh, VU mo Frere. What is on the gratitude? 

Matthew Grishman: I had something very specific, but after you sharing yours, I'm gonna say I have two, two things. Then I'll be grateful for one of which, oh, Lindsay's 

Jim Gebhardt: gonna love that. 

Matthew Grishman: One of which I will continue on with team, because really this is an extension of what we've been doing now in studio for quite some time, is this idea of who, not how I am so grateful.

For all the who's as well and the conversation I got to have. I, last episode was coming fresh off a family wedding in Vermont and one of the youngsters in the family got me in the corner and he was sharing. I'm grateful for the opportunity of all these who's not, how's in life. Being with me that day because I got to have a conversation with one of the youngsters in [00:04:00] the family who's struggling right now.

He's a young man in his mid twenties trying to figure out life and with tears in his eyes in the corner of this wedding, just expressing incredible amounts of frustration to me about, I'm 26 years old and I'm supposed to be figuring out life and figuring out how to do this and how to pay my bills, and how to get a job, and how to advance my career, and how to meet a woman and fall in love and start a family.

Like really stressed out that none of this is happening the way I want it to, and I got to share with him the secret. Something that I wish somebody would've said to me when I was 26 years old. You mean the movie? The Secret? The Secret. The Secret, yeah, that's what I mean. The movie. The book. Yeah. Yeah. No, not that stuff.

Oh, I know the book and the movie and all that, but I'm talking about the Real Secret. Oh, good. The real secret to life, which for a young man who's trying to be successful, I think the secret to life is who, not how. I really believe that life is very challenging. Life is very hard, and I know as a 53-year-old man, I can't do life all by myself.

I [00:05:00] couldn't so. We have found all these incredible who's, and when I shared this with this young man and my family, this concept that he's allowed to go ask people for help, right? Rather than you figuring out how there might be a who that knows how so that you don't have to stress about this, and it's okay to do that.

In fact, it's not just, okay, if you think of the most successful people in the world. Let's just pick on Steve Jobs for a minute. Why does he wear the same black shirt every day? Why does he hate buttons? Because buttons take too much time. He wears the same he used to wear before he died, he used to wear the same.

Black mock turtleneck every day. I 

Jim Gebhardt: hope he had the few of them 

Matthew Grishman: because the, he did have a few of them, but the fact that he would spend any of his time trying to figure out what to wear today was just a waste of his time in and of his genius. So when we get really clear and just being able to have this conversation with this kid, what I'm grateful for is seeing the light turn on in his eyes.

[00:06:00] Wait, what? Huh? It was way cool. So I'm super grateful for that. The second thing, I'm super grateful for. Is another secret. 

Jim Gebhardt: It's called Vermont maple syrup. Gratitude is gratitude. But in the context of the conversation you were having with your, was it your cousin? 

Matthew Grishman: This is on the in-laws side of my family.

Sure. This is one of the one family men member? Yes. A nephew through marriage. We'll call him that. 

Jim Gebhardt: So this goes to my, my theory around extrapolating and that. People can only extrapolate in one direction. 

Matthew Grishman: Ah, they can only see in the direction they're going, right? The blind 

Jim Gebhardt: spot that if they're struggling, they can only see struggle.

If they're thriving, they're, they can only see thriving, right? They can't see a plateau. They can't see a decline. And Beth and I talk about this 'cause we have those kids. We have, we don't have a 26-year-old, but we have a 24, almost 25 and a 22. And they're through college. And they're right where that young man is in terms of trying to figure all this stuff out.

How? How, [00:07:00] how. I remember it. I remember when I moved to California. How am I gonna make friends? I knew no one in California when I was 23. How am I going to meet the woman of my dreams and build a life together? How am I going to ever make another enough blessed money? To be able to afford a gym membership, let alone a house in California.

This the concept that we talk a lot about with our kids to the point where their eyes roll up in their head is the fact that life is not a smooth path. It is not a 45 degree trajectory up and to the right on the chart. It's a squiggle line that goes up and down, and sometimes you hit the old candy land slide and you go backwards and then you gotta go.

Back up the next mountain, only to find out that you get to the top of that mountain and there's another series of mountains to deal with. Sure. Are you saying life's not easy? I'm saying night life's not easy, but life is not a smooth line of upward positive progression all the time. If you and I were to look back at the lowest parts of our [00:08:00] life, those are the greatest things that have ever happened to us.

Absolutely. They happened for us. Not at the time. No. They were miserable at the time. Yeah. I used to lie awake at night. In the latter part of 2008 and early part of 2009, asking the good Lord to take me. Sure. Because I could not see my way out of the financial strife I was in back 

Matthew Grishman: then. He was your who, not how.

Yeah. And it wasn't answering the phone. It wasn't your time. 

Jim Gebhardt: What he was saying. The machine was 

Matthew Grishman: full. Exactly. 

Jim Gebhardt: So 

Matthew Grishman: anyway, 

Jim Gebhardt: thanks for that riff. I had to just let that 

Matthew Grishman: out. I think it's part of what we're talking about here today. Episode 1 66. This is. What we do our work for this is if there's a top of a mountain in financial planning land before you go climb the next mountain, it's this, I don't know.

It's all the work that we've been doing up until this point in financial planning land of helping people get clear on where they've been, on where they are, and now where they're going and getting them off into this [00:09:00] idea of now living this life, the more. Of those hard things that happened. We're able to sit down and look at and realize, how did these happen for us?

Really sets the stage for some real meaning in this next life 3.0. Live your why. What's next? So they're in the rocket ship, 

Jim Gebhardt: oh, in the fourth dimension, and they're ready to hit the, they're on the launch pad in the rocket ship. The old Guidewire or whatever, that thing that used to fall away when we would watch it on A, B, C, or whatever it was.

Sure. We've hit the 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and they're launching. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. This is the point in the financial planning process where all the planning has been, I don't wanna say complete, but in a sense, the blueprint has been drawn. The blueprint is complete, and now it's a matter of go launching and actually doing what the blueprint says.

We talked, we had a nice discussion in the last episode [00:10:00] about these different money barrels that take that number of ours, right, which you and I talk about as the wealth gap, right? Instead of what's your number? What's your wealth gap, right? How much do you have versus how much do you need to support all of these incredible.

Things that you want to do in life, right? How, who you want to be, what you want to do, what you want to have, what does that look like, and what's the difference between what you have and what you need to make that happen? And assuming we can help a client close that wealth gap with the sale of a business one day, now it's a matter of structuring.

That asset that closes the wealth gap into different timeframes of when we need that. Once that blueprint is drawn, now it's a matter of hitting go and releasing that person into that life 3.0 to go live it. 

Jim Gebhardt: And in all of your experience with the hundreds of clients that you've witnessed do this, what would you say is the number one thing they [00:11:00] do once they either exit the business or in the more conventional sense?

Retire. The number one thing they do. Yeah. What's the most common thing people do once they either retire or sell the business and they're, they're officially out and they're no longer on a, a three year earn out or something like this On our watch? Yeah. They go travel bingo. 

Matthew Grishman: They go do something. They do.

They do it. Hank and Jill, dad and mom are doing right now. They're out exploring the world. Seeing the world, using some of that money 

Jim Gebhardt: and time. Time is the big one. Yeah. To go dig. Do they've had this pent up. Maybe, perhaps not in the case of Hank and Jill, but I'm thinking of several clients that are, that have won as of October 4th, put a big bow around it.

And he didn't own a business, but he was C-Suite in a publicly traded company and that was his final day. Also happened to be his birthday. 

Nice. 

And they depart on a big two weeker to Europe that they've been eager to do for [00:12:00] years and years. And this pent up. Demand to go be, do, have whatever it is that that we see over and over again.

And that's why in our planning process, we really wanna look at, as we talked about in the last episode, this concept of those in a conventional 30 year retirement, may you be so blessed to have a 30 year retirement that in that 10 year period in the beginning, that in our white paper from a hundred years ago was the go-go phase.

Sure. Still is the go-go phase. Absolutely. And that's where I always used to bark at my superior officers at Merrill Lynch, Pierce Finner Smith, where all you need, you need 70 to 80%, Bob, of your current pre-tax income to live on when you're retired. And I was always like, that's 

Matthew Grishman: still pretty common philosophy, dude.

The shit that I'm reading it. And I used to just push 

Jim Gebhardt: back on that all the time. You need to tell me the first three years of retirement, five years of retirement, you're not gonna be spending almost twice as much money because when you're retired, how many Saturdays are there? [00:13:00] 

Matthew Grishman: There's still only. For Saturdays a month.

But when you're retired, when you're 

Jim Gebhardt: Every day's a Saturday. Exactly right. Hence your ability to be out doing Sure. Consuming, sure. Not necessarily you're gonna go spend your way around your retirement, but if you're going to be doing things, a lot of times those require money. Oh, so we are big. Advocates for this.

Yeah. We're not roadblocks for this. We want the clients to go use the money and live their why, because they now are crystal clear on what their why is. Yes. And those are some of the happiest wait for it postcards we ever get. And I request when clients tell us about a big trip, we hope you have the most amazing time.

And if we're really on top of it, Lindsay will do one of her super magical, we'll find out the name of the hotel or whatever, and we'll have something special delivered to the room. It's our, it's one of our love languages is gift giving. Sure. [00:14:00] And I say, I just have one request and there's always like a little tension that enters the room and they learn, oh, what's he gonna answer it with?

Like a box of truffles or something? No. Send us a postcard. Yeah. You can still get those. You can. Yeah. The bigger problem is getting the damn stamp. Oh. Harder to find. That's harder. 

Matthew Grishman: Ah. 

Jim Gebhardt: Now if they're at a hotel, perhaps the concierge still has a little stash of stamps like that. But anyway, that's one of my favorite little things is to request a postcard.

And then some rando postcard will come in the mail from Amsterdam. Sure. And you're like, what the, oh, I know who this is, right? Yes. So it's just, it's a way. For us to stay connected when they're out living their why. Absolutely. And one of the best examples I can ever share about, this isn't even a client example, but I'm gonna pick on our dear teammate Lindsay, when she first came on board three years ago, we were talking about scheduling appointments with clients and we're, we're obviously passionate about spending time with our [00:15:00] clients, and I said, it's gonna be very difficult for you.

To get our retired clients to come into the office. Geez, don't you have that backwards? Is that dyslexic or something? No. You mean the working folks are gonna be the hard ones to get into the office? I said, oh, Contrera prayer. That's not the case. It's exactly the other way around. And the longer they've been retired and the longer they've been a client, the harder it's gonna be to get 'em to come into the office because they're comfortable, they're clear, and they're confident.

And that is like the biggest vote of confidence I could ever have in what we do is the fact that if you've been a client of ours for a long time, but you're retired for a long time, we're like almost like begging you to come into the office. My 

Matthew Grishman: brother-in-law, my brother-in-law, who I spent time with a few episodes ago when we were in Vermont at this wedding, recently retired, took a little package from the federal government and decided to retire, and his comment to me [00:16:00] was.

I don't know. 'cause I asked him, how's it going? Are you figuring out Life 3.0? And he looked at me and he said, I don't know how I ever had time for work. Bingo. I'm doing all the things I love to do. Bingo. I'm riding my bike. I'm going, he's doing another Ireland golf trip. We were, I was trying to listen for some of the Kakis and the names that you've thrown around me a couple times.

Sure. Articles and Sure. Absolutely. And he's doing all these awesome, incredible things and Oh, and he gets to sleep late and. And he's not missing out on anything. Now he's taken the time to plan and figure out how he want. He is going to life. 3.0 

Jim Gebhardt: is full. 

Matthew Grishman: Yes. Life 3.0 for him is very full. Beautiful. And I might imagine, given what he was sharing with me, a little more costly than 70 to 80% of his last working year, 

Jim Gebhardt: that would be, I'd place a pretty good wager on that.

Yeah. 

Matthew Grishman: That's one area I would say within our industry when we're looking at [00:17:00] helping. People prepare for living their why and living what's next. That's one place in our industry where the academics don't necessarily meet the practical. You and I have always been academically trained to help people live less life in retirement than.

They do when they're working, but it's just not the case. It's the opposite. That practical experience has shown us it's the opposite. I was talking with Hank and Jill this morning who are on another trip, and while they're on the trip, they've planned their next two trips. Yeah. With the same tour company.

Yeah. 'cause they just, they're having so much fun with it that they're doing another one in the spring and they're doing another one next fall. Yeah. And they've booked both of them already. Awesome. These are not inexpensive trips. No. On top of what it costs them to live a day-to-day life. Yeah. You know what?

They weren't doing this 

Jim Gebhardt: during their working years. That that's, I couldn't be happier to hear endless stories about that, because that to me is really [00:18:00] what the meaning of the money is all about. Yes. Is out, whatever your definition of Y is. I'm thinking of a client that used to live down in the Bay Area up in Marin County.

The fires that we had there a few years ago were, he didn't lose his house in the fire, but it was very disconcerting and he moved to Reno. And gave Reno a try, wasn't his jam, and moved to Oregon and now when I talk with him, he is living his absolute best life. He's near family, he has friends up there.

He's living his absolute best life in his mid to late sixties. And it just, it gives me so much joy to talk with him about it and to just be curious about what are you up to? What do you, I go out to the beach quite a bit or I'll just hop in the car and I'll go up to bend and I'll go, Trump's around in the parks up there.

And it just, it's so fun because in his case, he w he also worked for a corporation for many years, several corporations, but then hit this classic phase of retirement. So he is not an entrepreneur. [00:19:00] Per se, but we could and should tell more and more stories about people that we've worked with that are outliving their why.

Because to me it's so inspiring on what is possible. And I remember when we first started working with him, he wasn't exactly sure like, how's this gonna work? He's an engineer on top of it, right? Sure. Whohoo. They tend to want to go to the seventh decimal place on everything. Sure. With certainty and facts and rigor.

This is gonna be a little bit of a. Of a float, like you're gonna float a little, you're gonna try it on, and if it's not the right vibe, you're gonna move. 

Matthew Grishman: Yeah. Sometimes that's hard for engineers. Sure. And that's part of accepting this part of the process. Like when we were talking before about the blueprint is built and now we go out and live our why.

Understanding that blueprint might change, and this is what's cool about financial planning land, is that once the plan is designed and you're outliving it. It's going to change. One of my favorite client experiences, and you were there the whole time [00:20:00] we were doing this, was our clients who were both top of their career in New York City in their forties hit the wall.

Burnout City didn't want to do the corporate thing anymore. Gave up everything. In New York. Er. In New York, Manhattan. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm in, in their industry. They were leaders in their industry and they decided to cash out, move to the beach in San Diego and let their inner artists come out. They were both in corporate roles, but really wanted to give that all up for a quieter life.

Simpler. Simpler being the creatives that they are. Yeah. And being introduced to them through that process. They were pretty sure and pretty clear on what they thought their life was going to look like till they got to San Diego. And what was it, within a year of knowing them, they were both in corporate jobs and within their industries.

Yeah, and miserable, like really unhappy. 

Jim Gebhardt: You would call that in financial sobriety [00:21:00] land. You would call that a relapse. 

Matthew Grishman: Yes, they did. They had a little bit of a relapse. They had a corporate relapse. They were going down a direction, it wasn't quite coming to fruition. And before they took a pause to reset and recalibrate, fear took over and they went right back into, yeah.

Their old ways and found jobs. Sure. Well, it was probably another year into that process before the phone rang and. We got a call from her about, I can't do this anymore. I'm upset with myself for falling back into this and I really need some help because I don't know what I'm doing and I can't do this anymore.

I'm burning out. That's where we got to go back to the drawing board to redesign another blueprint and turn Matthew and 

Jim Gebhardt: Jim. 

Matthew Grishman: Yes, let's go. And this is where roll up their sleeves. This is where helping somebody figure out what their superpower is to get them away. We talked about this in the last episode.

If you're willing. To get away from the job titles, the industry and all that kind of stuff, and just really hone in on what is that [00:22:00] superpower? What is that unique ability? Then a whole world of possibilities shows up, and in this case, for this person, had an incredible, unique ability in this world. We called creative curiosity.

When those words came outta the conversations that we had between the emails we were sending to people in her past and getting some help from them as far as flushing out what the superpowers were and looking at all these different words and concepts, and then boom, this idea of creative curiosity comes up and all of a sudden now.

We've got somebody living their why painting and creating and having art shows and literally becoming, being able to make a living doing this. Stepping in her why? Absolutely. It's been incredible to watch. Now, it didn't happen smooth and seamlessly. Come on. It didn't happen. I thought guaranteed that we try, but money back guarantee.

It came with some false starts, it came with some challenges, it came with some pivots, it came with some failure, and that's the plight to the [00:23:00] entrepreneur figuring out life 3.0 and getting out and living your why. You may have this incredible blueprint and you might get out there and go, eh, this isn't what I wanted it to be.

Jim Gebhardt: Isn't that a lovely segue? 'cause when you were telling that story, I was in my head with a different story of clients that we've been working with for 10 years that own a home on the National Historic Register. In one of the Bay Area communities, it's down on the water. It's a Victorian, and for the 10 years that I've been working with, we've been working with them.

I've been running point a little bit more, but you know them certainly very well. This was the dream was we are going to restore and bring this old Victorian back to its full glory, fully remodeled right off to the sunset in our retirement years, enjoying that. And a couple of Octobers ago. No, not a couple of Octobers.

Last October they called and said, Hey, we wanna come in for a another financial planning update. Some things have changed. They didn't go into it, but Lindsay got 'em on the calendar and they came in and they said, you know that one radio button [00:24:00] in the software that changes the state of where you live?

We're California residents now, but we wanna go in to see the plan. Exactly. 

Matthew Grishman: Slow down, hang down, slow down within our financial planning software. Oh, what did I say? Oh, you were going way too fast. Ah, so within the financial planning software, we have a radio button. Yeah. That allows us to toggle on and off whether you're gonna stay in the highest tax state of the world called California.

Yes. Yes. Thank you. Or move somewhere else. Thank you for the slowdown. Yes, you got it. Okay. I just wanted to make sure I was picking up what you're putting down. They remembered that little radio button. 

Jim Gebhardt: Oh. 

Matthew Grishman: Now that's 

Jim Gebhardt: impressive. He's an engineer and what had happened was, I don't even, it doesn't matter, they, they went to Florida on a vacation and while they were there, they came across this community, this town that's like one of these kind of new Florida towns that they do that there, apparently.

Yeah, sure. Not only did they fall in love. But they bought a rental property that they were [00:25:00] then going to live in temporarily while they figured out how they make the move there. So the purpose of the meeting talking about their financial plan was changing was they were going to abandon this lifelong vision of restoring this home on the National Historic Register.

Abort absolutely go in a completely different direction with their plan, and they wanted to see the viability of all that. They wanted to be able to see in the, the big jumbotron TV in our conference room how this was going to impact by selling this, moving here, buying. Granted it was a less expensive home and it's 

Matthew Grishman: Florida.

Jim Gebhardt: It's Florida, yeah. Yeah. But. We've got dozens and dozens of those stories where the best laid plans, things change. And that's the beauty of our process is that we're ready for it. And actually it excites us to be able to help the client have a new vision of clarity and confidence around this new path, whatever it may be.

You know [00:26:00] 

Matthew Grishman: what these stories are really. I think showing the tribe. I don't want to tell you if you're listening, what you should be getting from this, but I'm gonna tell you what I'm getting from this. What I'm starting to see is where the real value of having a relationship like this comes into play.

Whether your relationship winds up being more intimately with us, or you have an advisor in your life already and this show is just supplementing that relationship and giving you ideas to bring to your advisor, which by all means, if that's the case, I am thrilled. 'cause that's what we're trying to do here.

What you're starting to see in these stories is where the real value, once the planning work is done and the asset structuring is in place, the real value of the relationship. Comes into these kinds of conversations so much more than the ongoing asset management. If you're sitting at this point in a planning process, you've created all of the wealth you're ever going to need to create.

That's [00:27:00] not what you need the help of an advisor for. Right? You don't need an advisor to make you wealthier to how much are you gonna make me nephew? Exactly. That's the wrong, if you are asking a financial advisor, how much are you gonna make me? If I give you money today, what are you gonna invest it in?

And what are you gonna make me? That's the wrong question to be asking, especially if you're on this show and you're an entrepreneur and you're part of this tribe, you, I can tell you now, are an exquisite wealth creator. That's not what you need an advisor for. It's knowing, it's what you and I were talking before the show started today about my very first client that ever walked into my office and your very first client that ever walked into your office, and the very same conversation we had, which is why are you hiring me?

I have no experience. You have shoes older than me. You, you are good at making money. You've, you're showing me this incredible portfolio. Why are you hiring me when I'm very [00:28:00] obviously. Not as qualified at portfolio structuring as you are. Mrs. Client, in my case, that was Eleanor, and she looked me dead in the eye and said, I'm not hiring you for what you can do for me today.

You are going to learn how to become a good advisor and I'm going to teach you, but it's way down the road when I have some of the most important financial decisions that I need to make that you are going to be. Prepared to help me and you're going to be 

Jim Gebhardt: here for me to do that. So the beauty of that is that she had the vision and the wherewithal to invest in a relationship with you before any of this gray hair on my chin.

Chin, exactly. 

Matthew Grishman: Because she knew the value this. So I always give credit to my dear friend Eleanor Brady, my very first client, may she rest in peace. 96 years old, pitched a complete game and then some, she taught me how to be an advisor. As a client, she taught me how to be an advisor because she just, she was so generous and so giving and so [00:29:00] caring, but she also knew that, Hey, I'm gonna invest in this youngster, and because one day I'm going to need him to help me make some really important financial decisions.

And I'm just, I'm incredibly grateful for her teaching me how to do this job and how to do it the right way, and how to know how to help people ask me the right questions. Which is not about how much are you gonna make me, 

Jim Gebhardt: again, I'm in my head with my story. Sure. And to me, the question, I think really this is some clarity.

I, I'm sure it's been bubbling around in my head for a while, but are you gonna be there for me in my worst hour? Oh yeah. Or perhaps my final hour. Yeah. And the number of times that. I've been in a conference room with clients and one of the spouses, generally the partner that kind of runs the money part of life, right?

Sure. Now, if anything ever happens to me, you call, your phone call is to Jim or to Matthew or to the office, [00:30:00] right? I, it gets me every time that happens because there's a gravity to that. There's a way to that, but isn't that really the question you should be asking your advisor is, are you going to be there for me?

In my worst hour or my final hour. Better 

Matthew Grishman: yet, how are you going to be there for me? Ask that question. How do you show up for your clients in their hardest times, in their most challenging financial situations? You really want to get to know how an advisor is going to be there for you. That's what you want to get to know about them.

How are you prepared to show up for me and for my family? We are going to be faced with one of the five Ds at some point in our life. Exactly. Exactly right. When we face death, when we face divorce, when we face disability, disagreement or distress, how are you capable? How does your firm, how do you show up in those [00:31:00] situations?

Because that is the value of having this kind of relationship, is knowing that there is a. Family like CFO, this incredibly intimate advisory relationship. That is going to be there for you. I have a friend right now, I'm gonna speak with her at three 30 today after my adventures in cardiology. I've got my semi-annual cardiology appointment later today.

Nice. And then an old friend of mine, who 15 years ago when she was sitting in my office with her husband, would not hire me because. She doesn't believe friends and business should mix. Hey, that's an old school east coast kind of thing. I get it. It is. And you should have accounts at 17 different banks and 14 brokerage firms should and diversify from 

Jim Gebhardt: institutions, 

Matthew Grishman: family, and friends should not be doing business together because it's gonna screw up the relationship.

This is the one place that I looked at this friend 15 years ago and said, in 99% of the world we live in today, you're absolutely right, but when it comes to [00:32:00] this. Money, family. This is some of the most intimate stuff you're ever going to deal with. Some of the most important decisions you're ever gonna make, and you wanna give that to a stranger and not somebody that you have an incredibly intimate, close relationship with.

And at that point, that was fine. Let's fast forward 15 years later. Unfortunately, those friends of mine have gotten a divorce and life's very different and life is very different and very difficult. They split the retirement money and I got a phone call from her last week freaking out because she feels like she made a monumental mistake in dealing with the 401k and now there's tax penalties happening and boy, I should have called you sooner.

And she's starting to see. The value of this kind of relationship. Granted, the whole conversation started with, I really don't want to pay. She's the money's over at one of those big companies, fidelity, that big Boston based company, and she was explaining to me how I just, I don't want to pay fees for stuff I don't [00:33:00] need, but I really could use some help right now.

Do 

Jim Gebhardt: you think she has car insurance? 

Matthew Grishman: I'm guessing she probably does. 

Jim Gebhardt: Do you think she has homeowner's 

Matthew Grishman: insurance? Probably. I would imagine she owns a home. 

Jim Gebhardt: Yeah. 

Matthew Grishman: I don't think legally in California you can own a home or drive a car without having those two insurance policies, which you, oh. Then we should really start a 

Jim Gebhardt: lobbying effort in the great state of, 

Matthew Grishman: I was gonna say California, that should be allowed, must have a financial advisor if you are going to have a retirement account by law.

You should be required to have the insurance policy of a financial advisor to bounce your decisions off of. Well, I 

Jim Gebhardt: start a, a Gavin funding, a funding mechanism for that. Oh. Oh Gavin, are you listening? Yeah, absolutely. 

Matthew Grishman: I get 

Jim Gebhardt: it. I get it. Nobody, no, I do. I like paying my, I get a, I get an automated text from my insurance company.

We have five cars in our family right now. We are a small used car dealership. You guys 

Matthew Grishman: down, you guys are down one 

Jim Gebhardt: home. Five cars. Yeah. But there's six of you Uhhuh. Somebody has to take a bike. How dare them? That bill every month I have to [00:34:00] turn the auto notification that you know this is gonna be sucked outta your bank account.

'cause every time I go, ha ha, I take a little, the third mortgage payment. Oh my God. It's just a massive number. Sure. I don't like paying it. I get that she doesn't want to pay for something she perceives that she doesn't need. I have life insurance. I'm not gonna need life insurance. I'm gonna be dead. Sure.

Disability insurance, same thing. I always enjoy people that are just banging on the door of cost because they perceive it as there's no value, right? There's no value to the relationship. To them. Cost is only an issue To the extent there's no value. What, I guess the 

Matthew Grishman: point of what this whole episode in Living Your Why to me is all about, is recognizing that what we do for a living.

Help advise people and guide people through some of the most challenging decisions, some of the biggest, most daunting decisions they're [00:35:00] ever going to make, planned and unplanned. And that being my craft is something I have invested you and I have invested in, in Incre, and I'm speaking for our whole industry.

Everybody who sits in this seat. With this licensing for this amount of time, with the willingness and desire to help people make these important decisions, invest time, energy, effort. You are not paying me. For a transaction today, you're paying me for 30 years worth of experience in helping people make these decisions and guiding you through a similar path.

It may be brand new and scary as shit to you, but it's something you and I have helped people for 30 years navigate successfully, and that is worth something that is the value of having this kind of relationship. When you are out there living your why to know that I don't need to know how to do this, how to make this decision, or what the next right decision [00:36:00] is.

All I need to know is who to pick up the telephone and make a phone call to. Once again, it comes back to the who. Absolutely. So I absolutely love what we do. I love that we get to talk about it. I can tell, can tell, share it's look even 30 years later, how many years of imposter syndrome did I live saddled with?

Oh my God, do I really help people? Am I really Oh no. If they only knew who I really was. I mean it just to know that's way back there and we, and I don't know a human that doesn't go through that at some point. But to wake up really realizing that I get to get up every day and go help people for a living, and then I get to come here in studio and talk about that so that we can help more people.

It's pretty cool. 

Jim Gebhardt: It's very cool. It's unbelievably rewarding. So Phil's my Grateful Bank every day. 

Matthew Grishman: Fantastic. As we've always said, we just show up and do our jobs, and some days we get paid by deposits in the bank account. Other days we get paid by deposits in the [00:37:00] fulfillment account and they're both.

Fabulous and very rewarding. So thanks for hanging out with us here. We've put a bow around the financial planning aspect where we've gone from unpacking the story from the very beginning through defining def. Thank you. Holy cow. Yeah, it's okay. Defining story. You were on a plane last night. I know, right?

And early this morning where we're defining that story and setting some. Pretty big goals based on what really matters most, and then ultimately getting in and shaping that story into these financial goals and directions and what life 3.0 could possibly look like. And then once we get to that launching pad, pop the champagne, pressing that button, sending you out to live your why, and knowing that the relationship with your advisor is now only just beginning because the real role of advisor.

Is now beginning there to walk with you through life 3.0. 

Jim Gebhardt: It's a 

Matthew Grishman: privilege. And with that, my friend, [00:38:00] 

Jim Gebhardt: that's a wrap.

Matthew Grishman: Thanks for joining us today on the Whole Wealth Journey. Are you ready to start planning for a future that's rich and wealth and wellbeing? Then click like and subscribe and make sure you don't miss a single episode of the Whole Wealth Journey. 

Jim Gebhardt: So if we've struck a nerve with you today. 

Matthew Grishman: Where do people go?

You can find us@gehartwholewealth.com. That's G-E-B-H-A-R-D-T whole wealth.com. We'll see you next time. 

Jeff Holden: Jim Gehart is a registered representative of Integrity Alliance, LLC Securities and Investment Advisory Services offered through Integrity Alliance, LLC, member SIPC. Gab Hart Group Incorporated is not affiliated with Integrity Wealth.

Jim Gab Hart and Matthew Grishman are investment advisor representatives of Gab Hart Group Incorporated [00:39:00] a registered investment advisor. The opinions in this podcast are for informational purposes only and are not intended to provide specific advice or investment recommendations to determine which investment or financial advice may be appropriate for you.

Consult a financial advisor prior to investing. Any reference to market performance is based on historical information and there is no expressed or implied guarantee of future performance. Opinions expressed on this program do not necessarily reflect those of Integrity Alliance LLC. The topics discussed and opinions given are not intended to address the specific needs of any listener.

Gbb Hart Group Incorporated does not offer legal or tax advice. Listeners are encouraged to discuss their financial needs with the appropriate professional regarding your individual [00:40:00] circumstance.