Towards Eden, an Enneagram Podcast
The Enneagram is an amazing tool to help us have way better relationships - and grow emotionally + spiritually.
On this podcast you'll hear stories of people using the Enneagram personality tool
to understand themselves and the people in their worlds.
& I (Elyse) will teach you how to use the Enneagram system so that you feel empowered to use this tool in your own life.
Let's get curious about each others' stories and grow together 🌿
Towards Eden, an Enneagram Podcast
#7 - An Enneagram 9 Finds Her Voice Through Leading with Brielle Regier
Brielle, Enneagram 9, has a lot to say about learning to lead in her various jobs.
She takes us from her recent college graduation to her impactful role as a discharge planner at an adolescent mental health facility. Leadership at work has empowered her in all areas of her life - and now she’s starting grad school to become a Clinical Mental Health Counselor.
Brielle opens up about overcoming her fear of conflict and finding fulfillment through right action, highlighting the resilience and humor that help her navigate the high stress level of her job.
Listen to this episode to learn about the strengths and gifts of Enneagram 9s at work - and what it’s like to navigate conflict and tension in a high-intensity workplace.
Also, what’s it like to be an Enneagram 9 in a family of 9 kids??!
⚡ HIGHLIGHTS FROM THIS EPISODE ⚡
- Self-regulation in stressful work environments - Brielle shares about her high-intensity job helping teens at a residential facility
- Enneagram 9’s gifts in the workplace - for example, staying regulated when being yelled at by children
- Leadership & Growth as an Enneagram Nine
- How a big family with big personalities impacts type - and how the baby of the family is now the oldest at home 🏡
- Brielle’s new season of starting grad school
📚 RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE 📚
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For resource recommendations, click here.
The Road Back to You by Ian Cron- start here to find your type
Links for Towards Eden Enneagram 🌿
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Website
Email me 📩
elyse@towardsedenenneagram.com
Get my FREE Guide to the 9 Enneagram Types 🌱
This guide is a great quick-reference to help you remember the types.
Hey guys. So I love podcasts. I listen to a lot of them. There's so many podcasts I love and I would always hear the hosts say if you like this show, give me a review. And I always thought I do love this show, but I do not feel like writing a review right now. I will do it another time. And then I never did it another time. But recently I discovered that on Spotify, literally all you have to do to rate a show is you click on the rate show button and then you click five stars and that's it. It literally takes three seconds. So that was way easier than I thought. And then I went back to all the shows I like and gave them five stars all at once, and that took more than three seconds. But you get what I'm saying. So can you please take three seconds right now and give this show five stars?
Speaker 1:My Enneagram at work event is this weekend. You can still sign up. Bring a friend, bring a coworker, bring your sister. We will be in Valparaiso, indiana, this Saturday, october 12th, and we are going to help you understand the nine types at work so you can stop hating your boss or at least understand where he's coming from. Link for tickets is down below in the show notes. I think Aldi is so brilliant about this. The way that they curate their items in those aisles is so pro Like I always want to go down those aisles to see what new things they have. Yeah, and I don't buy a lot in the fun aisle aisle, but like it satiates me to just like look around and see what they have and in aldi everything's off brand, and so then the fun aisle is all their on-brand stuff, and so you're like you get to feel bougie okay, this is the part that sometimes feels awkward for me, like I guess I'm just gonna start the podcast.
Speaker 2:pretend it's a radio show and you have to start right now. Count me down Three, two, one.
Speaker 1:You're listening to Towards Eden, an Enneagram podcast. The Enneagram is a tool that helps us tell our stories. I'm Elise and I'm here to teach you all about the Enneagram, so this tool is accessible for you. So this tool is accessible for you. Hey guys, welcome back to the Towards Eden podcast. Today I get to introduce you to my sister-in-law, brielle. She is an Enneagram 9. I'm really excited for you to hear about her story, what she's up to in life. She's in a really cool season of life. So, brielle, thank you for coming on. Why don't you introduce yourself and tell me about who you are?
Speaker 2:what you do and the season of life that you're in. Yeah, thank you. So I'm Brielle. I just graduated from college with my degree in psychology. I'm like riding high off of those like postgraduate vibes Still summertime so I'm like in between things. Right now. I currently work at a place called the Midwest Center. It's a adolescent mental health facility. It's residential, so it's very, very intense for these kids. These kids are going through like a lot and they need very intense treatment, and so that's where they come. I like my role there. I'm like the discharge planner, so I am getting them ready to go home or go to the next step, and so I'm calling parents, I'm calling facilities and making sure that there's space for the kid at this next therapist office. It feels very productive, like getting moving on to the next step Action steps.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's really fun. So right now I work there part time and my next big step is that I start grad school in a few weeks. Actually, that is so exciting. So I'm starting a clinical mental health counseling master's program at Valpo University.
Speaker 1:Sweet, that is a huge step. I'm so happy for you. Did you like dream about going to grad school when you were younger? Like has this been a dream for a while, or kind of more?
Speaker 2:recent I didn't even dream about going to college. For a while or kind of more recent I didn't even dream about going to college. So, like this is already like so exciting that I've already done and I've already gotten that step checked off, my check the box off. And so, like I've always thought about ever since I started school, I've thought about like grad school and doctorate, stuff like that, and so this is just like one more step, yeah.
Speaker 1:Such a big accomplishment, thanks, okay, tell me about how did you discover the Enneagram? And then, what was it like for you figuring out what number you are?
Speaker 2:So I discovered it through my family because they were going through it. I think it was my older sisters were reading the Road Back to. You, and so they were reading it and figuring out their numbers and always talking about it. I'm like what the heck is this? And so then I picked up the book, and the book starts with eight and then it goes to nine and I was like no way that I'm the second number in this book, like of course. So I kept going and I was like nope, nope.
Speaker 1:And so then once I got through the whole book.
Speaker 2:I got through the whole book and then I went back to nine, ok, and I was like yep, ok, and every single thing of it was like I know people like when they're figuring out their number, it's like I don't really know, I'm having a hard time like this. For me, it was just like oh, I'm having a hard time like this. For me was just like oh, I'm a nine, because every little thing that they said I was like oh, that makes sense wow that's why I do that or that's explains why I do this.
Speaker 2:And yeah, it was.
Speaker 1:It was very like concrete from the beginning do you remember any of those things in particular that stood out for you?
Speaker 2:I it was the one that still hits me is the deadly sin, because like it was towards the end of the chapter, so I was already like on board with like okay, I feel like I'm a nine. And then it hit that part and I was like, dang it, you're calling me out Because it's like sloth and yeah, and I was at a time in my life where I was like feeling that all the time, feeling that always, and then that part hit and I was like, yeah, it was hard to hear definitely yeah, for nines, that the there's coarsen of sloth, or inaction is another way of putting it, but yeah, it's about.
Speaker 1:It's about struggling with prioritizing, it's about struggling with knowing what action to take.
Speaker 1:And I think that's a really interesting, brielle, that you brought that up, because I'm hearing you talk about what feels so fulfilling about your job right now and it's the action steps that you get to be part of.
Speaker 1:Because, ok, when we talk about the sin and then the higher virtue for each type, there's a higher virtue that we can reach which is kind of like the inverse of our sin. So, for example, for Enneagram ones, the sin would be anger, but the higher virtue is serenity, which is like acceptance of reality, and so when we grow and we do our work, we actually get to this place of reaching this virtue. That looks kind of like the exact opposite of what our sin was. So for Enneagram nines, we have the sin of sloth and then we have the higher virtue of right action. So right action is about prioritizing correctly and taking bold action. And for nines, it's about finding their voice and like using their voice to make the changes in the world that they want to see and helping people. And yeah, can you talk a little bit about what that's like for you and your job?
Speaker 2:The environment that I work in. It's so it's hard because these kids they're kids, teenagers they're going through a really, really hard time. It's so it's hard because these kids they're kids, teenagers they're going through a really, really hard time. It's devastating and to be on the side of, hey, you're doing really great, let's find you a next step, let's get you moving on, Like let's, let's go, let's get out, get you out of here. Let's get's go, let's get out, get you out of here, let's get you help. Like. That part is just so fulfilling because of how hard it is to see a kid get there.
Speaker 1:Do you see, like because of the population, you're dealing with a lot of like inertia, where it's hard for them to get going and it's hard for them to make changes, or what is that like?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we have a lot of kids that are just getting there. Their medication is changing, their hormones are all over the place. You can't handle anything, you know like just the slightest little disappointment and they're just like not okay for the rest of the week. They're just like not OK for the rest of the week. And so, like this is a place for them to, first of all, if they have to change the medication they can, to get them to where they, because it's kind of it's dangerous to change your medication. So if these kids are in a safe environment, they could change it OK.
Speaker 2:And go through all those crazy times and like work it out, while they're with safe people, while they're being watched all the time, while they're being protected by all these things. That's really good, because we do get a lot of like why the heck am I here? Like get me out of here, you guys are all stupid and um. But it's like we all, we see it every day. We know after that stage or anything like that, after they get through, have a little breaking point, they do come up and they do come up stronger. It's hard to see, but it's a full, long process. Yeah.
Speaker 1:It sounds very intense. Yeah, full long process. Yeah, it sounds very intense. Yeah, for Enneagram nines um, one of their fears is of losing connection with people, of, and, and with that comes like a fear of conflict, a fear of tension and like conflict because that could cause a break in relationships. Um, and, and it just sounds like your workplace, quite honestly, is like full of conflict and full of tension. So what's that like for you to work in that environment, especially at the beginning, when you started?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's helpful to me with relationships, because I'm working with this teenager who's using every single curse word ever at me, to me because I looked at them wrong, and I have to let it roll off my back. I can't take it personally because it's not. It's not personal. They're mad, they're angry, they're not in a place they want to be. They're screaming. I can be there, I could be the person that takes it for them because they need to just scream and I can walk off the floor and I can take a deep breath, maybe go to the bathroom, splash water on my face and I have to be okay because I have to keep working.
Speaker 2:So like that is like a forced conflict yeah that I've been pushed through and it it's not easy. It's not not like oh do-do-do, another teenager yelled at me today. It's like I, it happens, and then sometimes you just have to take it and move on. That sounds really hard, but I found myself like it rolls off my back a lot easier the more it happens?
Speaker 1:Have you learned any other strategies for keeping yourself regulated while you're in the midst of that high intensity environment?
Speaker 2:I love to crack a joke in the worst times, and so if a kid is yelling at me and like I know them a little bit and I know well you think this one thing is funny, I'll just just start joking with them. And sometimes it's like, oh, you're stupid, stop talking. I'm like okay, whatever. And sometimes it happened one time and they were just in the worst place and then I just cracked a joke and they were like, did you really just say that while I'm having a breakdown? I'm like yeah, I did. And they're like, oh, okay. And then like we just started having a regular conversation. So like humor has definitely been a fun strategy because I'm working with kids Like it's, it's not that serious.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just, brielle, as you're talking about your job and about the kids you're working with, I'm just hearing like a lot of compassion and empathy, even in the way you talk about it and the way you're reminding us that it's kids you're working with and we see, we might see like behavior that looks like bad behavior, but they have a lot going on and they don't have the skills to regulate themselves. They don't have the skills or the strategies to work through a lot of the pain they're going through and I think it's like a really amazing gift that you bring as a nine of seeing other people's perspectives. That's what nines bring to this world is like they're empathetic, they can see where different people are coming from, and it sounds like you carry a lot of that into your work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you almost have to, because if you're, if you're seeing it and if you're like, oh, this kid is acting bad, this kid is awful, you can't see the, not the worst, but you know like you can't sit there and be like, oh my gosh, this kid is. All this kid has gone through is their fault and they've caused it like a judging mentality. Yeah, because then it just gets you to every single one of these kids here. They earned their spot here and I see a few people that I work with with that mentality and I want to stay far, far away from that.
Speaker 2:Yeah because it's like a trap and I see it in them and I see it affecting them.
Speaker 1:How did your Enneagram type, being a type nine, influence your decision to go into the psychology field?
Speaker 2:I grew up with a lot of people in my house, so I'm the fourth kid of nine kids, so I was surrounded by little kids a lot. I've always known that I wanted to work with a younger population and someone was like, oh, just be a teacher. And I was like, no, in the nicest way, in the nicest way. No, no, I don't. It's just. It wasn't like a yes, ok, I'm going to be a teacher. Because when, when you decide to become a teacher, it's just, it wasn't like a yes, okay, I'm gonna be a teacher. Because when, when you decide to become a teacher, it's like yes, absolutely I'm gonna be a teacher.
Speaker 2:Oh, it was like so, like so. I was like, no, not that. And then I just started to look into different majors and stuff, and then psychology popped up and I was like, oh, that's pretty cool to become a therapist, helping people on a deeper level, not just like what a nurse would do. Because I know that I wanted to do something like helping profession, because that's just like so rewarding to me and all the serotonin in my brain would make my job so worth it.
Speaker 2:And then also remember I wanted to work with kids and it's like OK, so then it like was just always in the back of my head, ok, like kids and stuff. But I definitely was like, from the get go, my junior year of high school, I was like psychology, that's what it's going to be which is very rare, I will admit like to be sure like that, to be sure like that, and I was so grateful to be sure of it the whole time because I loved it so much. Just this like deep dive into something I thought was slightly interesting in high school. And now I was like, okay, this is it like I always wanted to work with kids. And then now I'm like, okay, teenagers, that's close enough, it's not the same at all.
Speaker 2:Okay, um, and it's just teenagers, they get it. They are at a stage in life where their brain has gotten to a point where they they want to learn these therapy stuff, they want to know what's happening to them. They, when it clicks for them, it clicks and it's so rewarding and cool to see so are you feeling like you?
Speaker 1:you are liking teenagers now more than you thought you would, and maybe less of the little kids yeah, it, it's a lot.
Speaker 2:It's more intense because teenagers are going through a lot more in their lives than kids are, but they're a lot easier to get to on a personal level, on a you can get real with them without them not understanding what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, that's great um.
Speaker 1:Do you, do you have any thoughts about, like how your development as an Enneagram?
Speaker 2:nines wanting to see people for who they are and help through that. Helping from a emotional standpoint was really big for me because I'm already seeing, I already see your emotions. I can relate a little bit.
Speaker 1:Are you kind of naturally sensitive to reading other people's emotions? Yeah, definitely. Yeah, that's a great gift to have in your field.
Speaker 2:It's kind of exhausting sometimes, I bet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, enneagram 9's. Their core desire is to maintain connection with others and emotional balance and to have peace and wholeness and harmony. And for Enneagram nines it looks like having peace in their external environment, like with their relationships and what's going on around them, but also it's peace within themselves. So Enneagram nines are really very careful about maintaining their own internal environment of peace and harmony and to protect your inner peace and not let things come in and disrupt you. And so I think maybe that's the reason why you're able to say, ok, it's not personal. I know that I have to listen to him yelling at me right now because it's my job and I'm here to help, but I also don't have to let it in and take it personally. Yeah, I don't think everyone can do that. That's interesting, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like a it's a grown task, like it's a it's it's developed over time, and that's probably why I'm always like joking in those situations, cause it's just like always like joking in those situations because it's just like nope, blocking it out. What can I do to either carry the conversation on, move it to something else or just straight up protect myself from it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, switch gears a little bit. Let's talk about another job that you've held, and it's a job that I held with you. So Brielle and I were co-workers. We worked at a Chick-fil-A together, spent a lot of time in the kitchen together, on the catering team together, and I want to know what was it like to be you in Enneagram 9, in a very high intensity workplace, where you also had a leadership position.
Speaker 2:It was so fun. I had so much fun at that job because I love productivity and if you ever want to be at a fast-paced, fun, productive job, we're going to Chick-fil-A 100% In the kitchen. Fast-moving, you get so much done. You get to make a little sandwich, you get to push a button and there's a little ding that happens and tag prints out. It is super fun.
Speaker 2:The serotonin that I got from it Not all sunshine and rainbows. It's a stressful job but being a leader, I noticed I had to get out of my comfort zone and not worry about everyone liking me, which was really hard for me. So hard Because I would. Especially, it was hard on the shifts that I would run. So not just the catering stuff, it was just running a kitchen shift. I had to put the people where they needed to go, where they had strengths. I needed to move people around and people didn't like that and it was always hard to be like nope, that's my decision. I hear what you're saying. I know you're upset about that. I have to make this decision for the kitchen, for the community, for the company, and that was hard. Definitely to not make enemies but not be everyone's favorite.
Speaker 1:Yeah that was hard, well, and I think I don't know if you saw this way or not, but another gift that Enneagram Nights have is they're very tactful. They can say the hard things without being abrasive, and so I do think that was one of your strengths is, you know, you were able to kind of say things people didn't want to hear, but still in a friendly way that didn't make people hate you.
Speaker 2:That came out a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I didn't know that that was a nine thing, so that's insightful. I mean, I think it's. You know, as a nine, you're naturally trying to avoid conflict. So I think that's a way that you, as a mediator because that's one of the nicknames is mediator. You're you naturally, even from childhood. You develop that ability to talk people, maybe like calm people down or like talk the room down, and how to have tact when you're talking to people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and like rip the bandaid off instead of like avoiding the problem. Maybe because if it's like, oh, hey, I don't want to be in this position today, and it's like oh, but you have to, and then I'll just be like like you have to, I don't know yeah, it's kind of like in.
Speaker 1:This is actually a lesson that a lot of times does take nines a long time to learn because they would probably naturally prefer to avoid the conflict. But, as you're saying, like sometimes ripping off the bandaid actually actually lessens the conflict in the long run, cause if you're going to dance around something and avoid something and put something off because you're afraid of the conflict, then it actually might snowball and it might get worse later. But you kind of learned in this job. Okay, let me just say the hard thing right away, because then it's not, it's going to get better sooner.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, definitely Like keeping the peace through ripping the bandaid off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it like sounds counterintuitive, but it's actually pragmatic and effective to do it that way. So let's talk about a message that Enneagram 9 children interpreted since they were children, and the message is your presence doesn't matter, your voice doesn't matter. Enneagram 9, ever since they're kids, they grow up believing that their presence doesn't matter. Nobody really needs to hear their voice. So you might as well just go along, to get along and do what everybody else wants accommodate the other people, cater to the other big personalities, maybe in your home or maybe at school and your friend group. The Enneagram 9 growth journey is about discovering my presence does matter. I can impact people with my right action and my voice is important. And I think, with you being put in a leadership role, it was kind of like, even though naturally probably it's hard for you to use your voice, being put in that role was kind of like no, actually your voice has to matter. You have to use your voice, whether you like it or not, because you're a leader and, as you say, you're representing the company.
Speaker 2:That was like it was so rewarding to become a leader and to be given responsibilities and to be trusted and to have my bosses leave the building while I was in charge. They trusted me to get a key. Like it was big, like it was so rewarding and like to see, that's not true. The part of like oh, you're just kind of there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the like nine aspect of like she's waving her hand, like get to the side. Like yeah, like the lie of the lie of, like oh no, you're just there, you just need to get out of the way so that other people can do their thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah that I taught myself from when I was little just stay out of the way, just yeah, just be quiet. But then to be given a role, or I mean, yeah, to be given a role, a role that you earned by working hard and by being good at your job.
Speaker 1:you earned that role, yeah, it paid off. And by being good at your job, you earned that role, yeah.
Speaker 2:And it paid off and it showed and it was noticed by people. That was a big thing. That, yeah, it was really. It's really cool to and to have people come up to me and just the smallest little things, just ask me a question and know that I'm going to know the answer. That's just such a oh like I am, I am doing it, I'm doing good at my job People trust me.
Speaker 1:You know I'm competent. People look up to me. I know what I'm doing, yeah. Yeah, that's a big thing for me. That's really cool. I'm glad that was like so rewarding for you. There's a lot we can learn from all the in-between jobs and, you know, the big girl jobs and the transitional jobs. There's all different kinds of jobs, but we can learn things from all of them. Yeah, okay, let's talk about family. Okay, tell me about your family, okay.
Speaker 2:So I have eight siblings. I'm the fourth and there's a big age gap between me and the sister younger than me. And so I grew up, like you said, very the quiet kid. Just go with the flow, Just do what everyone else is doing, because why would I do my own thing, Very much fixating in my brain, quietness of a nine, Like, just stay out of the way, do what everyone else is doing. And then you said earlier about like big personalities, To have three older siblings pretty close in age to each other, like there wasn't not room but there wasn't like an empty space to be a fourth big personality.
Speaker 2:And so I just fell into the role of quiet and there's nothing like no resentment about that.
Speaker 2:Like I enjoyed it. I love going with the flow. It's fun, I don't have to think too much, I just do what I just do what my siblings do, um, but it's definitely fun to find myself through my own individual things like work and school. And for the longest time because I went to the same school as my older siblings I was just like I'm just going with the flow. Same old, same old, whatever. That was like the first year.
Speaker 2:And then after that I was like OK, wait, this is like really fun and like this is like if I were to make this decision again, knowing how it would go, I would have made the same decision. So like you're talking your college experience, right, yeah, so picking the college close to home and commuting, and even though it was just, oh, my siblings already made this decision, it's not that important. It's like I still would have done the same thing even if it wasn't. Yeah, I'm grateful for the flow because it's gotten me a lot of good places. But it is really fun figuring out who Brielle is outside of a little sister and a big sister and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:That was a really beautiful way that you described your upbringing and, yeah, just like the impact of having three big personalities right ahead of you. I mean, of course, that that formed you like how could it not? But I love that you're finding the joy of like finding your individuality now and also that there wasn't it wasn't bad. It wasn't bad that you had three big personalities ahead of you. They brought so much joy and action and energy to your world and now you're, and now they all moved out and so you're now the oldest child living at your house. But you're in this transition stage of doing your own thing and making big moves.
Speaker 2:I think I almost had to had to find myself, because that flow that I grew up in is gone now Not all the way gone, but it's like it's less prominent in my life, and so I have to figure out who I am.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to read a paragraph from a book called Healthy Feelings Thriving Faith. It's by Bill and Christy Galtier and they have some theories about each Enneagram type as a child and they call it the family formation. So I'm going to read their paragraph which is about the family formation of Enneagram nines and they have a little nickname for what that child's role would be and they say for nines the nickname is the lost child or the peacemaker In their families. Growing up, nines often found themselves in the role of the lost child. Feeling bonded in their primary relationships is so important to them that they may discount or even forget their own needs and desires as they continually accommodate to their parents and others' needs and desires. They have a pleasant, easygoing nature and don't want to cause anyone stress. Their positive views of their loved ones and happy memories help them to draw strength from those relationships. However, their agreeable and reassuring nature can sometimes leave them sitting on the sidelines or feeling forgotten in the background.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it definitely resonates, Just the sidelines type thing, because I have so many people around me, wishing around me all the time and I'm just there. I often look back at my childhood and see myself as a still being and just this, like this, like wishing clouds around me and that's like the people in my life. Getting to see my family live life has like taught me so much about life. And then oh, it's your turn and I'm like, oh, what no? That's not what I do, I don't, I don't do the things no.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I sit and I watch and I listen and I cheer you on from the sidelines and then it's my turn and I'm like, oh my gosh, no, no, stop looking at me. Like don't, don't spend money on me, don't want it to be about me, don't use your time on me Like it's. It's hard for me to definitely like be in the spotlight, but I've definitely like not grown to like it, but like grown to know that I deserve it. Yeah, sometimes you matter, yeah.
Speaker 1:You matter too. I want to talk a little bit about these childhood messages, and I just I just talked about the one for the nine. But what happens and this is, you know, this is one Enneagram school of thought. Again, there are a lot of different Enneagram teachers, a lot of different ways of looking at the Enneagram and how it can be a helpful tool. But one way of looking at it is we look at these messages that we interpret in childhood and they're wounding messages. They're messages that hurt us in some way and they're messages that we need healing from. And they're messages that we need healing from.
Speaker 1:But the really important thing here is that your caregivers and the people around you were not intentional about communicating those things. Ok, we, as children, we we don't see reality in a completely objective way. We're kids. We don't have all the skills to interpret what's happening around us in the correct way, and so, based on what's happening around us, based on how our parents and our siblings are communicating, we will interpret reality out of that and sometimes we're interpreting incorrectly but, like it or not, that's the messages that wound us and that we grow with. But what Brielle is saying is we don't have to blame anybody in our upbringing for those messages being there. It's just a result of us being broken humans. Brielle is like pointing out a lot of the beauty and the gifts that she had of being an Enneagram 9 child and learning from her siblings, and I think that's really cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Like no one sat me down as a kid and was like you're not worth it.
Speaker 1:Your presence doesn't matter.
Speaker 2:Sit on the sidelines, yeah, but just the lessons from different things. I was led to believe that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think when you're in a house where, again, this isn't bad, but when you're in a house where there's three older siblings, three big personalities, they're doing a lot, they're taking up space, and it makes sense that you would interpret the message oh, there's not enough space left for me to do my own thing, so I'll just go along with what they're doing. So we've talked about how you're transitioning in life. You're moving into new seasons. What is it like in your house nowadays, with you being one of the leaders in your house with a lot of younger siblings still there?
Speaker 2:It's like a fun new dynamic. I've started, not out loud, but I've kind of started naming myself the camp counselor of my little siblings. Oh funny, like I'm just there for a little extra fun, a little extra guidance. Like I'm not, I'm not teaching anything concrete, I'm not sitting down homeschooling them. I'm, I'm not. We're not learning any big life lessons, we're just going out for ice cream and we're being goofy. And yeah, the camp counselor, that's my, that's my new role.
Speaker 1:That's so fun and it came about in the summer, which is awesome, definitely. Like I said, this is my sister-in-law, so I have seen her around her family a lot and I see your younger siblings look up to you so much, and I mean, of course, that typically happens with younger siblings and older siblings, but I mean, what's it like for you to see yourself as a leader and to see yourself as the one that they are looking up to and looking to for support and guidance, same as my promotion at Chick-fil-A.
Speaker 2:It's great to just be someone that people go to for help. I often see people through my own eyes or like putting myself in their shoes. I, when I was little, I've always I always dreamed about being a woman in her 20s. Always, I would look up to any woman that crossed my path who was in their 20s. I'm like, oh my gosh, you're amazing, you're so cool. Look at you. And then to now be that and to have people in my life who I do see look up to me, I'm like this is so fun. I'm doing what I've like dreamt about to just be a good role model. It's just fun and easy and keeps me going.
Speaker 1:That is so fun and powerful and it matters, like that's just affirmation of you matter. There's people depending on you, not in a way of like they can't live without you, but you matter in people's lives. You're influencing a lot of people and that is the power of an Enneagram 9, realizing how important their voice is and using their voice for good.
Speaker 2:So part of me, that's like it's hard for me to be in the spotlight, that comes from me and like the reason. I know that recently I just graduated from college and when you graduate you get a certain amount of tickets for that graduation. And for me I got five, and I have way more than five family members, and so I was like okay, like I just gave them the tickets. You guys can figure it out. I show up to my graduation. I'm there and I am like walking in and I see every single one of my family members, including Elise there, which is way more than five. And so just knowing that, like I didn't have to, and so just knowing that, like I didn't have to, I didn't have to beg anybody to be there for me Like that is really like powerful to see, especially the way that I see myself sometimes, like it's really cool to see how much they care.
Speaker 1:Wasn't there a story recently about going out for ice cream along the same lines?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, so I had like a little um I a little honors banquet.
Speaker 1:It wasn't a little, it was an honors banquet, it was a big deal, she, she, uh, earned her way into the honors banquet.
Speaker 2:Um, and it was me, Bally, my little sister, and then my parents and I took them with me and we were leaving and my dad was like, oh, we should go get you some ice cream. And I was like no, we don't have to do that, Like everyone's tired, Like we could just go home. And then I was like I kind of want some ice cream. So then I was like okay, yeah, Like I stopped myself from from thinking about everyone else and just let myself be treated a little bit, so that was fun.
Speaker 1:I love that. It's a little story, but it's such a great example of you. You stopped, you thought, you thought the natural thought, and then you stopped yourself and you said no, I matter. This is literally a night celebrating me. I matter, and we're going to get ice cream and your family loves you so much, so of course they wanted to do that with you. What do you do for fun?
Speaker 2:I'm a camp counselor. Kind of hard to find hobbies in.
Speaker 1:Let me ask this question a different way. Okay, Brielle, you are a creative and you have a lot of unique hobbies in the creative sphere. For one guys, Brielle made me the best Christmas gift. I get compliments on it every time someone visits my house. But she embroidered a design of it. Was like a redesign of my wedding bouquet, it was like my wedding flowers on an embroidery wheel and it's like so beautiful. And I remember the week before Christmas Brielle was being cagey about like she kind of you know we could kind of tell she was working on embroideries for some people for Christmas and I was like I hope it's me, I hope she's making something for me, and I was so excited to open that on Christmas. I was like I hope it's me, I hope she's making something for me, and I was so excited to open that on Christmas.
Speaker 2:I remember you asked you were like so working on any embroideries recently and I was like yeah, stop asking me.
Speaker 1:But yeah, tell me about your hobbies.
Speaker 2:I do a lot of crafty things. I like to stay busy, um, and so, like I do embroider, I do love like surprising people with a special, unique gift on a budget. That part's fun for me, but it really is. It really is fun to just put so much time into something for someone. Another thing that I'd like to do for myself is fixing up furniture. Oh yeah, like recently I found like a coffee table in the garbage and I grabbed my sister and we hauled it into our van. It's really heavy and I like sanded it and stained it and I'm just kind of like getting ready for the next step in my life, which is moving out. I'm scratching that itch with getting furniture for myself and then taking a long time to fix it up and slowing down a little bit. That's really fun to be creative and also productive at the same time.
Speaker 1:You know you're preparing your way to be able to move out because you're going to have a lot of the stuff that you need. Yeah On a budget. Is there anything else you want people to know about? Nines before we end this session.
Speaker 2:Ask your nines how they're doing. We don't always say it right out, but just ask them how they're doing and maybe ask a few times, because they're not going to answer the first time. That's really good.
Speaker 1:Thanks for your time. Brielle, love talking to you, thanks for having me, and we'll talk to you guys soon. Bye, Bye. This episode was recorded using equipment provided to the public by the LaPorte County Public Library System. If you liked this episode, let me know. I'd love to hear from you. Tell me what other topics you'd love to hear covered on this podcast and, as always, you can find more content on my Instagram at Towards Eden Enneagram, as well as on Facebook Towards Eden Enneagram and my website, towardsedenenneagramcom.