
Towards Eden, an Enneagram Podcast
The Enneagram is an amazing tool to help us have way better relationships - and grow emotionally + spiritually.
On this podcast you'll hear stories of people using the Enneagram personality tool
to understand themselves and the people in their worlds.
& I (Elyse) will teach you how to use the Enneagram system so that you feel empowered to use this tool in your own life.
Let's get curious about each others' stories and grow together 🌿
Towards Eden, an Enneagram Podcast
#5 - Can My Type Change? and other Typing FAQs!
I answer all of your frequently asked questions about TYPING and give you my fool-proof method to determine your type!
As a Certified Enneagram Coach, here are the questions I get asked ALL THE TIME.
⚡ FAQs answered ⚡
- Can my type change?
- How do I find my type?
- What test should I take?
- I already know my Myers Briggs, my DISC, do i need to know Enneagram too?
- Am I a ____ or a ______?
- Can I tell someone else what type they are?
My 3-step process
1. take this assessment (don't pay for anything)
2. screenshot your pie chart (we're going to look at the top three results)
3. schedule a free 30-minute call with me to discuss your top 3 results
I'll help you determine which of those top three is your actual type.
Then you can start incorporating your Enneagram type into your growth 🌿
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For resource recommendations, click here.
The Road Back to You by Ian Cron- start here to find your type
Links for Towards Eden Enneagram 🌿
Instagram
Facebook
Website
Email me 📩
elyse@towardsedenenneagram.com
Get my FREE Guide to the 9 Enneagram Types 🌱
This guide is a great quick-reference to help you remember the types.
Hello and welcome back to Towards Eden and Enneagram podcast. If you like listening to my voice, you are going to love this episode, because it is just me. This episode goes over frequently asked questions about typing. So last week I was at a business conference in Nashville with 30 other female entrepreneurs. The energy was honestly amazing, and just to see all the different businesses that these women have started and how successful they are, and also all the different Enneagram types in the room because I think there were people of every single type there that I spoke with and while I was meeting all these ladies, I was getting a lot of questions because I quickly became dubbed the Enneagram lady and so, as the Enneagram lady, I was getting a lot of questions, because I quickly became dubbed the Enneagram Lady and so, as the Enneagram Lady, I was getting a lot of questions like can my type change? What test should I take? How do you even know your type? Am I a three-wing two or a two-wing three? I'm not really sure, and as a certified Enneagram coach, these are questions that I do get asked all the time by people, and so this episode is going to consolidate my answers to all those questions so you can quick reference them. So here is the list of the questions I'm going to go over. Can my type change? How do I find my type? What test should I take? I already know my Myers-Briggs or my disc. Do I need to know Enneagram too? Am I a two-wing three or a three-wing two? And can I tell someone else what type they are? So I'll go through these questions one by one, and at the end of this episode I am going to give you my foolproof three-step method for determining your type. So stay tuned till the end for that.
Speaker 1:So first, can my type change? The quick answer is no, your type cannot change. Sometimes people will think that their type can change because they've matured or they've done a lot of growing and so they kind of look different than they did Like. For example, if you're 40 year old and you've been kind of working on your own growth and maybe working on your relationship issues for a long time, then you are not going to look like the same person that you were at 20 years old. But that does not mean that your type is different. Your core type is still the same. What's different is you've been able to access some higher points of your type. You've been able to grow, you've gotten unstuck from a lot of your personality patterns. The Enneagram system is a fluid system, so the more you learn about the Enneagram, you'll start to see that when you find your core type, it not only describes your neutral state, but it also describes how your type looks when you're doing really good and growing. And it describes how your type looks specifically in stress. And actually to see how your type looks in stress can sometimes be really helpful for somebody to determine which type they are, because each type looks a little different. So can your type change? No, your type is always the same. Sometimes people might mistype and think they're one type and then realize they're another one, but that just means you might not have landed on it right the first time, but your core type is always going to stay the same.
Speaker 1:Next question how do I find my type? Okay, so this question is frequently asked because there's just like a lot of noise out there, I think, when it comes to Enneagram type and people are saying all different things. Because there's just like a lot of noise out there, I think, when it comes to Enneagram type and people are saying all different things and there's tests and there's coaching and blah, blah, blah, all the things. So my recommendation is that you start with a test and then work with somebody experienced to help you confirm, or you work with somebody that knows you really well to help you confirm and that is going to be part of my three-step process that I'm going to say more about at the end. What tests should I take? So there are a lot of good Enneagram assessments on the market that people use to determine their type.
Speaker 1:Now here's the caveat the very best, the very most sophisticated Enneagram test that you can find is, at best, 50% accurate. So there is no way that you can definitively land on your right type just from taking a test. It happens for some people. Some people take a test and they are very aware when they're answering their questions and they're very honest when they're answering the questions, and maybe they'll land on their right type from that. But with a 50% success rate you should not rely on just taking a test and knowing for sure.
Speaker 1:Oh yes, this is my type, but the number one test that I recommend comes from Truity T-R-U-I-T-Y Truity, and I'll link it in the show notes. So if you just want to know what tests I recommend, it's Truity. There's a couple of reasons why I think the questions are very good. It's Truity. There's a couple reasons why I think the questions are very good. It's not too long I think this one might take you like 20 minutes at max to go through and then also it gives you a little pie chart as a result. So I really like the visual of this pie chart it gives you, because it'll give you like every one of the nine types. You'll see how big your pie chart is for that type. So it kind of shows you like your least likely types and your most likely types. So Truity is the test that I recommend.
Speaker 1:Next question I already know my Myers-Briggs my disc. Do I need to know the Enneagram too? Great question. And here's the difference. So the Myers-Briggs the disc. There's the one about the four animals at work. Have you done this? My husband said when he first started his new job they were telling everybody if they were a beaver or a lion or a golden retriever. And there's one more. I can't remember, but anyway. So all of these that we're describing INTJ, high SC on the disc, these are all very behavioral, okay. So they can be very helpful in the right context because they help describe how you behave and that can be helpful in a work setting or in a friendship setting.
Speaker 1:But I do believe that there are limits to these tests that the Enneagram actually solves. So the Enneagram is going to solve some of the problems with those tests, because the Enneagram goes to motivations. So the Enneagram speaks to why you do what you do. So you might have two different people who look very, very, very similar at work. Okay, so let's describe them. Let's say it's Julie and Leanne and let's say Julie and Leanne are both super hardworking, they achieve a lot at their jobs, they are consistently setting goals and meeting those goals, they are high energy and they don't really ask for permission. They're the kind of person who's just going to go ahead and do it and they believe in the work that they're doing. So I'm going to say Julie is an Enneagram 3 and Leanne is an Enneagram 8. But you could think they're the same type when you look at them on the outside, because they're behaving very similarly, but the motivations are very different. The motivation of the Enneagram 3 of Julie is that she really cares about being successful and proving her worth through her success and her accomplishments. The motivation of Leanne, enneagram 8, is that she cares very much about showing her strength and masking vulnerability and maintaining control. So those are very different motivations but they show up the same with the same kind of levels of high energy and hardworkingness. This is why you can't just judge your Enneagram type based on your behaviors.
Speaker 1:Now I actually personally had this problem the very first time I was introduced to the Enneagram. I was in college and I remember it was like one of my wingmates just came in and she was like, look at this worksheet about the enneagram and blah, blah and she read us. I just I remember her reading about the nine types and it was like just very behavioral, like she read things about how the nine types behave and I heard it and I was like, oh, okay, I guess I'm a seven. I was hearing things like oh, the seven likes fun, variety and spontaneity. So I just said, okay, I relate to all those, so I'm a seven. Spoiler alert I am most definitely not a type seven.
Speaker 1:But I was not explained the Enneagram very thoroughly at the beginning so I kind of didn't understand this motivation versus behavior thing. If you want to know, my type is actually type one. So the difference between the motivation of seven and one are very different. The type seven is motivated by a fear of being trapped, of being limited, of being bored, and so they go out and they seek the new fun experiences to satiate them because they really want to. They're pursuing like full contentment. They want to be fully content and fully satisfied. And the motivations of type one are that type one wants to avoid mistakes, they want to avoid being wrong, they care about getting things right, they care about doing really good and being good and they can get into some perfectionism. And when I was in college I was. I just like you know, I loved all the fun and the social aspect and the activities. But my motivation is, like, very different from what a sevens motivation is.
Speaker 1:So the Enneagram can help you. Like socializing and I work hard, fine, like is there any? Is there any more than that? Is that all there is with these behavioral tests? The Enneagram helps you get down to your motivations and then really really helps you work on like, okay, now if, if I'm motivated by a fear of being bored or trapped, well, how can I learn from that and how can I now analyze my relationships to say, oh, okay, maybe that's why I had that one relationship issue with that person two years ago, because I was actually acting out of a fear of being trapped and I didn't realize it. Okay, we're going to move on to the next question Am I a two-wing three or a three-wing two? You can answer any type here. Am I a this type or this type? Now, again, I'm going to reiterate what I said for the previous question is it is a motivational question, it's not a behavioral question.
Speaker 1:So at this business conference I was at this weekend, I met a new friend, ashley, and she asked me am I a three wing two or a two wing three? I don't know. And if you look at Ashley and you were just going to look at her from the outside, based on some of these Enneagram stereotypes that we have, you could have thought oh, ashley is definitely a three. She is running a multimillion dollar business, she is coaching hundreds of women in their wedding businesses. Okay, she's a, she's an expert at luxury weddings and she's expanded her business to like seven or eight locations. Ashley, I'm sorry if you're listening and I got that wrong, but that's just what I think I remember from reading on your website.
Speaker 1:So, okay, so all these things like the hardworking, the achievements, the accomplishments like oh, it seems like she's a three, but I explained to Ashley the difference between the motivation of the two and the three Enneagram. Twos are motivated by the need to help people and meet people's needs and serve other people because that equate their worth with their achievements. So threes think that, basically, like, I'm only as good as my next achievement, so I need to keep going and going and working and achieving more. So when I explained those to Ashley, she said oh, I'm definitely a two, because I definitely know my motivation is more focused on being needed by people than like proving my worth through accomplishments.
Speaker 1:If you're looking at two different types, I just really recommend you always need to go back to the core fears and the core desires, because that is where you are going to find the differences, the subtle differences. But if you're still confused, send me an email. We can set up a call and I can help talk you through some of those differences. We can figure it out pretty quick if you give me a call and I can help you walk through figuring out which type fits you best. Okay, next question Can I tell someone else what type they are?
Speaker 1:The quick answer is no. You cannot Remember that what's motivating you on the inside is what determines your type. So this is why I even I, an Enneagram coach I cannot tell you what your type is because I'm not inside your head, I'm not inside your heart and your emotions and your body to understand what's going on inside of you and what's prompting you. I can ask you good questions that are going to get you there, that are going to get you to understand what your motivations are, and I can give you usually I'm pretty good at, just based on interactions with a person, narrowing their type down to two or three types, and then I'll say these are the three types I want you to go look at and go research and I want you to go listen to podcasts with people of those three types talking about what it's like to be them, and then that's going to help you understand which type fits you the best.
Speaker 1:And a lot of people want to play the game, where we go and we learn about the Enneagram and we love it, and then we want to type all our friends and family and that's fun to do and I and I think it can really bring people together. As far as you know you can. It's fun to hang out with your friends and talk about type, or hang out with your family and be like, oh my gosh, maybe this is why you were like this as a dad or like this as a sibling, because of your type. And just the number one rule that I will give you is you can't ultimately tell someone what their type is. You could say, hey, I think you might be a three or a five, what do you think? And then have them look into it and have them come to the conclusion on their own. It's the most effective when you come to your type yourself. If someone else tells you your type, there's just there's not as much buy-in, there's not as much empowerment of like this is my own journey. So I'd really encourage you to let your people have their own journey, figure their type out on their own. But, of course, if you know someone really well, you can certainly help them and you can give them feedback.
Speaker 1:As far as, oh, I really think it might be one of these two types that can be fun and that can be helpful. And then also, I have in the works I am creating Enneagram parties, okay, so this would be another really fun way to find out types. If you're like a group of girlfriends and a couple of you know your type and a couple of you don't, you can schedule an Enneagram party with me and it'll be like a 45 minute presentation where I tell you about all the types and then, since you guys all know each other and you are familiar with each other through different seasons, you can kind of help each other figure out. Oh yeah, I think this is probably your type, so that would be a really fun way to do it together as a community. I'm excited about working on that. If you want to already tell me that you're interested in doing Enneagram party, I do need a few people to be like beta testers for me for this, so send me a message. I'm really excited about making that happen in the next few months.
Speaker 1:Okay, now we come to my three-step process. Here's my three-step process. I tell people this process all the time. This is how I recommend you find your type. If you have never tried to find your type and you're brand new to the Enneagram, or if you maybe are like between a couple types and you're confused and you're just not quite sure, okay, here's my three-step process.
Speaker 1:Number one take the Truity assessment. I have a link to it again in the bottom. Take the Truity assessment 20 minutes, don't pay for anything. It's going to ask you to pay to upgrade to the full version. You don't need to do that because you're going to work with me directly, so you don't need to pay for Truity's version. So go ahead. Take the assessment.
Speaker 1:Number two screenshot your pie chart. Remember how I said Truity, it gives you a pie chart as a response. So you're going to screenshot that pie chart and then, when you come and work with me, we are going to look at your top three results. Okay, so from that pie chart, we're going to look at your top three types. That's going to be our starting point. And then step three is you're going to schedule a free 30-minute call with me to discuss those top three results. And now I'm going to be able to ask you the really good, pointed questions that really can figure out, between those top three, where you are and where you're landing. Because, again, I know all the differences between the types, I know what makes a three different from a seven and I'll be able to really efficiently help you get there. And then we'll determine which of those three is your actual type. And a little encouragement.
Speaker 1:I do not ever expect somebody to be 100% sure of their type just from one day of learning about it. Very typically it takes a couple weeks or a couple months of like marinating in it and reflecting. And I especially recommend listening to podcasts of people of that type. Like, let's say, you're not sure if you're a two or a six, I would send you a podcast from people of each of those types of a two and a six and you can listen to them talk and then it can become really more, a lot more easy to identify with which of their stories you identify with more, in which you know they'll talk and you can kind of hear their thinking patterns and the way they process and you'll be able to relate more to one or the other.
Speaker 1:But this three-step process is going to get you a really good starting point. Best case scenario we narrow down your type in one call, but more than likely you'll have like a top two and then I'll give you homework to go and research your top two and figure out which one fits you the best and then, after you do that, you'll be able to really start incorporating your Enneagram type into your growth, because the Enneagram amazing tool Okay, so many applications like it has applications for your career, for your work, for your family, for your relationship, for your parenting, for your kids, for the way that you engage in team sports. Okay, there's so many applications for the Enneagram, but it only really works if you have your type right. So I really, really, really want you guys to focus on getting your type right at the beginning, and that might mean taking a few weeks instead of rushing through it. So if you're tempted to say I'm gonna go take this test and call Elise and then I'm gonna know my type right away, just be a little patient and hold it with open hands, because it might take you a few weeks to reflect. And then you'll have an aha moment and say, oh my gosh, I am a four and at first I thought I was an eight, but I'm actually a four and now I know why. So be patient with it. It will be much more efficient for you in the long run to be a little patient at the beginning, to take a couple weeks to finish to find out your type, versus rushing through it because you just want to get it done and landing on the wrong type, and then you might it might take you years of thinking you're that type and then you're not really doing any real Enneagram growth from that.
Speaker 1:So those are all my answers to FAQs about how do I find my type. I am here for you. This is a thing that I love, love, love to talk about the typing. Oh my gosh, it's like probably my favorite Enneagram topic. I would love to help you figure out your type. To answer all your questions, I would love to come and hang out with you and your friends and do an Enneagram party and then we can type all of your friends at the same time. That would be like the dream. Or we could do it with your family, right, a family type party, and then you can all figure out your type at the same time. That's all for this episode.
Speaker 1:At the time of recording it is the middle of September and I do have my Enneagram at Work live event coming up on October 12th. So if you want to learn specifically about applications for the Enneagram at work or in your career, you need to come to that event. Bring a friend and come. It's in Valparaiso, indiana, so this is going to be local for Chicagoland. People Come out to Valparaiso and you'll get to learn from me. Teach live, and we're going to have a panel of three professionals who are using Enneagram every day in their work. It's going to be really fun and it's my first live event, so