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Towards Eden, an Enneagram Podcast
Welcome to Towards Eden Enneagram, a show where we dissect our Enneagram types so we can understand ourselves and have way better relationships.
The Enneagram is a tool that illuminates our motivations, our blind spots, and the differences between myself and others.
We can use it to see ourselves more clearly and to get healthier.
The Enneagram isn’t about what we do. It’s about WHY we do what we do.
Towards Eden, an Enneagram Podcast
#27 - Enneagram 101: What is the Enneagram?
What in the world is the Enneagram?!?!
Welcome to Enneagram 101 — your beginner-friendly series on the 9 types, what they mean, and why they matter. 🌿
In this kickoff episode, I'm walking you through the big question: What is the Enneagram, really? Where did it come from, why does it resonate so deeply for some, and why does it feel a little weird to others? 🧐💚
I’ll share:
🌱 How the Enneagram helped me go from “I guess I’m good at math?” to actually understanding my strengths, patterns, and relationships
📚 The difference between the Enneagram and other personality tools like Myers-Briggs or DISC
🔉 Why the Enneagram is all about motivation, not behavior
🌼 A short intro to all 9 types — including core fears, desires, and focus of attention
🎧 What’s coming next in this series
If you're brand new to the Enneagram, this episode is a perfect starting point. If you're already familiar with Enneagram, maybe you'll learn something new from this episode.
The bottom line - the Enneagram can help us understand ourselves and have way better relationships 🥂
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Enneagram guides for sale in my Etsy shop 🥂
The Road Back to You by Ian Cron- start here to find your type
Towards Eden Enneagram Instagram 🌿
Towards Eden Enneagram Website 🌿
Email me 📩
elyse@towardsedenenneagram.com
Get my FREE Guide to the 9 Enneagram Types 🌱
This guide is a great quick-reference to help you remember the types.
What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Where do you want to be in five years? What sets you apart from the other candidates?
Speaker 1:I remember these questions from mock interviews when I was in high school and college. This exercise of answering these questions about myself and my aptitude and a job, and just like basically naming specific things about myself. This was always really difficult for me and the reason for that was I just didn't really know. I didn't really have well thought out answers for these questions. I would say, like I'm good at math, I guess I work really hard. My family taught me to never quit or give up, but I had trouble distinguishing what made me different from the other people around me. I couldn't really point out many strengths or weaknesses within myself. I mean, of course, there were outward personality traits. I could name some behavioral things that were different, like when I was 18, I used to love walking down the sidewalk at college to dinner and saying hi to everyone I saw. Okay, so I'm friendly. I guess I get energy from being social, which apparently makes me an extrovert, but that doesn't really feel like something super relevant to this mock interview. So what is it that makes me different from all these other people around me Fast forward 10 years. That's scary. I cannot believe I've been out of school for that long. And today, though, today, I can give you detailed descriptions of my strengths, weaknesses, how I think, my emotional patterns, how my brain works when it's on autopilot, my fears and relationships, how I predictably act when I'm stressed and the ways I loosen up when I'm feeling really secure Basically, a night and day difference of how well I know myself and understand myself. And yes, you guessed it, this is because of the Enneagram. The Enneagram is the tool that helped me get to know myself really well, at a deep level, not just on the surface, not just looking at behaviors.
Speaker 1:So what is the Enneagram? The Enneagram is a tool for understanding ourselves and the other people in our worlds. It's a blueprint that shows us nine distinct ways of seeing things. It's easy to call the Enneagram a quote-unquote personality system, which I do think that is a good descriptor but it does go much deeper than just personality this term personality. It has to do with how we behave, how other people experience us, how we present ourselves to others. In Enneagram, it does include these things, but it also goes much deeper.
Speaker 1:Have you heard of the Myers-Briggs, the DISC assessment or perhaps the four animals. You're either a lion, a beaver, an otter or a golden retriever, okay. So these tools, they're all personality tools. They're almost exclusively based on behavior. So you could probably guess what somebody's animal is after watching them at work for a few days. Because that's about what is on the outside, what other people can see, and it's even about the presentation of ourselves that we curate, that we want to show people.
Speaker 1:So here's how the Enneagram is different. The Enneagram looks at motivations, not behaviors. The Enneagram is about the why we do what we do. It breaks us down into nine types of motivations.
Speaker 1:So here's an example your female manager, who is assertive, confident and she leads with a loud voice. She might easily fit into the lion category if we're looking at the four animals. But what about her Enneagram number? Okay, well, she might be assertive and confident and a good leader, because she's motivated by a fear of being controlled by other people. Or maybe she's motivated by a need to be successful at everything she does. Or maybe she's motivated by a desire to be morally good and to do the right thing. Or she could be motivated by a desire for safety and security and she wants to provide safety and security to the people she leads. So all those might be motivations why she presents as an assertive, strong, confident leader. And this is the Enneagram.
Speaker 1:The Enneagram is not about how we look on the outside, it's not about what we do. It's about why we do it, going to those motivations. So each of those possible motivations that I just listed for why this manager looks to be assertive, confident, good leader, all these motivations, they pertain to all different Enneagram types. So Enneagram type, it's simply not something that you can see or figure out just based on the way somebody acts. And this is also why the Enneagram is such a powerful tool for understanding ourselves and for finally getting what makes other people act and react so differently to the exact same situation.
Speaker 1:Because here's something we all do subconsciously we assume that other people are looking at the world exactly how we are, world exactly how we are. We assume that others are motivated how we are motivated. This is why I, as a child, determined to be good, do the right thing, avoid getting in trouble. I could not understand why everyone else wasn't just trying to be good too. Why were my siblings talking back to my parents when they could just shut up and avoid getting in trouble. Why were kids at school being mean at recess or not taking school seriously? Didn't everyone want to be a good little girl? Well, no, certainly not. There's eight other motivations going on in these people, not just my type one. On the Enneagram motives, as I explained the nine types, you will relate to more than one. That's normal. We're all motivated by many things. We are complicated, we have many layers.
Speaker 1:Enneagram theory teaches that at the core, one motivation does win out over the rest. Here's an example I'm motivated by the desire to be good and right, and this comes from the type one. I'm also motivated by a desire to avoid conflict and stay in harmony with people. That comes from the type nine. I'm also motivated by a desire to be special and unique and to have a meaningful existence, and that comes from the type four motivation. But if these desires come into conflict with each other and you have to make a choice where only one can prevail, it's the deep core desire for me to be good and to be right. That's what wins out for me. So you know, typically I like to avoid entering into arguments or facing conflict head on because I have that desire to avoid conflict. But let's say there was a situation where maybe somebody was misrepresenting something I did, or straight up lying, and I knew they were wrong. I would absolutely enter into an argument to defend myself, because I have this drive where I need people to see me as good. So I can't stand it if other people see me as bad or wrong. So that motivation would win out and that would spur me on to take an action instead of there's other situations where I would be happy to avoid conflict, because that's another big motivator for me to stay peaceful. And obviously there is a lot more layers going on in that example. But I'm just trying to paint a picture of how multiple motivations drive each of us, but our core motivation is the one that usually wins out.
Speaker 1:Are you ready to hear about the nine types? Let's get into it. Before we jump into each type, here's a few more pieces of info for you. It's a weird word enneagram. There is a Greek word, ennea. It means nine. It's E-N-N-E-A ennea and then gram. That just means drawing. So drawing of nine. Pretty straightforward. There's a symbol representing the enneagram that has nine connecting points. Yeah, it's kind of weird. No, it's not a pentagram. So here are the basic descriptions of the nine types.
Speaker 1:I will use the motivations to define each type. So when we go through each type, you'll hear their core desire, their core fear and also their focus of attention. So with focus of attention, when nine numbers walk into a room their attention moves somewhere, but where it's different for each type. So a type one walks into a room and immediately notices what's wrong or out of place. A type two walks into the same room and immediately notices who needs help, and so on. So here are the nine types.
Speaker 1:So we start with type one. I call type one the improver. Type one has a core desire to be good, right and correct and to stay aligned with their own values and high standards. Type one's core fear is being bad, wrong or inappropriate and of making mistakes. So ones focus of attention is on what's wrong, where are the errors, what could be better? Ones are constantly spotting and correcting mistakes and errors.
Speaker 1:So type ones are these people who are always trying to make things better. They're serial improvers. Sometimes this comes across as criticism or judgment. They notice what's not good enough or what's not quite right, even in themselves. A lot of Enneagram Ones are addicted to self-improvement. They want to keep making themselves better as much as they want to improve the world around them.
Speaker 1:Type Ones have an emotional struggle with anger. They experience anger when they sense improve the world around them. Type 1s have an emotional struggle with anger. They experience anger when they sense that the world doesn't match their ideals. Things could be better. Why aren't things better? And 1s also direct their anger inwards, at themselves, for not being good enough. Like I mentioned before, these people have very high standards for themselves and for others. Enneagram ones have a very loud, harsh inner critic. Many ones describe this voice inside them that is constantly judging and criticizing them. It's exhausting and it makes it hard for ones to let themselves rest because there is always more to do. Other nicknames for type one include the perfectionist. Other nicknames for type 1 include the perfectionist, the reformer, the idealist, the good little boy or the good little girl. Let's move to type 2. Enneagram type 2 is called the supportive friend. Type 2's core desire is to be loved, wanted and needed. They have a core fear of being unloved, rejected and unworthy of love.
Speaker 1:Twos have a focus of attention on other people's needs and other people's feelings. They also fear showing their own needs. Twos find value in meeting other people's needs, but it's hard to show their own needs. They don't like showing their own needs because that would make them feel like they are a burden to somebody else. Twos are focused on relationships. They see their world in terms of their relationships. They are very attuned to notice other people's needs and feelings. Enneagram Twos want to be seen as the most helpful person, the most supportive person, the person you can't live without. They like it when they are indispensable. They want you to need them, because if you need them, then you won't reject them. Twos believe that they need to earn others' love by being helpful and supportive. Twos are attuned to others' emotions, but they have trouble looking inward at their own emotions. They have the superpower of reading other people. They can read other people's emotions and anticipate your needs before you even realize what you need. They're also very good at meeting those needs and they can be quite assertive with meeting needs. They're not afraid to move towards people and take action by helping others.
Speaker 1:Here are some other nicknames for Enneagram type 2. The supportive advisor, the giver, the helper, the host or hostess. Now let's move on to type 3, the achiever. Type 3's desire is to feel valuable and to be successful and admired by others. Their fear is being worthless, failing to be or to appear as successful. The three's focus is on goals, tasks and to-do lists, because they must keep completing the next task in order to be successful, to achieve, to accomplish. So for type three, it is very important that others see them as successful and high achieving and that other people recognize their accomplishments. They care that people see that they are successful. They care that other people see what they achieve. They care about displaying their accomplishments. And what is all that really about? It's about being valuable and worthy.
Speaker 1:Threes have this internal belief telling them that they need to earn their love and earn value, and the only way to earn it is through showing others how much they can achieve and proving their worth through what they accomplish. And this can be like in a very public way. Like a lot of people who you see, are not afraid of the spotlight, are threes like movie stars, politicians, ceos of businesses. But it can also be in a very subtle way. A three might be a person who they really just want their family to know what they've achieved. Maybe they don't need the public attention, but they want their loved ones to know and recognize how hard they work and what they accomplish. And this is also the way that the type three shows the people in their lives that they care, by doing things for them. Acts of service is a common love language here. So these are very high achieving, goal oriented people and they want to move fast to keep accomplishing things. And what do they think about feelings? Feelings slow me down, so they take their feelings and set them to the side so that they can get more done. Other nicknames for type three the performer, the professional, the charmer and again, the achiever. Let's move on to type four.
Speaker 1:Type four is called the individualist. The core desire of Enneagram type four is to be unique, special and authentic and have a very meaningful existence. They don't want to be like everyone else. They want to be unique, their own special person. The core fear of type four is having no identity, having no significance, being mundane, ordinary or flawed. Fours focus of attention is on their own feelings. They also can focus on what is flawed or what is missing. Enneagram fours want to curate this image of themselves as being unique, as being special, even as being mysterious. They want to create a meaningful existence. Fours can easily get disillusioned with the typical normal every day. They find common tasks to be boring. They want to do something that is significant. You will find a lot of artists singers, songwriters, visual artists, dancers, fashion designers. A lot of these fours gravitate towards a lot of these careers because they like the creative process. They like expressing themselves and expressing their unique identity through what they create. Fours have vivid imaginations and they find comfort when they withdraw into their own inner world.
Speaker 1:Enneagram fours they're also people who are okay with the uncomfortable emotions of life. More than the other types, fours have the gift of sitting with others and suffering. They aren't afraid of suffering themselves. In fact, they are probably going to tell you all about their suffering. They're not people who feel like they need to always have, feel like they always need to have on a positive attitude. They tend to care more about being authentic and honest. So other nicknames for type four the creative, the artist, the individual, the tragic romantic, the tragic romantic. Let's move on to type five.
Speaker 1:Enneagram five is called the researcher no-transcript. They want to have the answers. Their core fear is being helpless, incompetent or having their energy depleted. Their focus of attention is on their own time and energy and their inner resources, and especially on what's left of their energy and resources. And they also focus on detached observation, always observing what's going on around them. So, fives they're very, very highly aware of how much they have to give their inner resources, if that's their energy that they have, or maybe their emotional capacity. Fives are very boundary-ed, because they understand that they have a limited amount to give and they ration it very carefully. It's kind of like they save up their emotional energy just for those people who they're closest to.
Speaker 1:Fives want safety and security, and the way they go about creating safety and security is through accumulating knowledge. Fives feel safe if they know more about something. If they don't know a lot, they're very good at researching, diving deep into topics to learn. Fives a lot of times they're experts in their field. They will get to know a lot about a certain topic and become the expert on that topic. They don't want to be caught not having the answer. That feels like foolishness to them. Fives they spend a lot more time in their heads than in their hearts.
Speaker 1:Here are some other nicknames for type five the observer, the thinker, the researcher, the investigator. Let's move on to type six. Type six I call the questioner. Type six's core desire is to be certain, secure, to have support and guidance. Their core fear is being without support and guidance, being blamed, being abandoned. So the focus of attention for sixes is on anticipating what might go wrong and on preparing for potential danger. So safety, security, certainty, support these are all words we associate with sixes. Security, certainty, support these are all words we associate with sixes. Many Enneagram sixes see security and safety as being supported by a system or by an alliance or by a group of people. So maybe they're part of a close-knit community that makes them feel safe and it's really scary for sixes to think about having to do it on their own without people surrounding them in a supportive way. Here's some more examples of that A political party A six might get very involved in local politics or national politics and feel like they have found certainty in the right answers in their political party. Or maybe they're part of a church group and they've found their safety and certainty in church.
Speaker 1:Six is a head type, which means they first process the world through their thinking, before feeling or gut instincts. Their brains are always working and always analyzing things. So with every situation that comes up, sixes analyze what could happen, all the possibilities, the positives and the negatives, in an emergency situation, when something actually does go wrong. Typically, sixes are actually very prepared and ready because they've already thought through that this could happen and they've already made a plan in their head of what they would do in case of emergency. And sixes, they do care very much about keeping their people safe. It's not just about keeping themselves safe, it's certainly about the people around them, the people they care about. They're very loyal people and loyalty it goes both ways. So sixes believe that if they are loyal to a group or to a person, that they will be able to receive loyalty in return, and that is a form of certainty and support, knowing for sure that the other person is going to be there for you. Other nicknames for type six the skeptic, the loyal guardian, the devil's advocate, the questioner. Let's move on to type seven.
Speaker 1:Enneagram seven is the optimist. The core desire of type seven is to be fully satisfied and content and to avoid pain. Their core fear is being trapped, limited or bored. They also fear emotional and physical pain. Sevens focus their attention on what feels good and on reframing negatives into positives. This fear of being trapped or bored. It causes sevens to use a lot of their mental energy for planning and for future thinking. What's the next adventure? What happens now? What happens next? What would be fun? They need to keep their options open. It's absolutely devastating for a seven to sense that their options are limited or to sense that they are stuck or trapped. And if the present moment is boring or dull, a seven will easily escape into their imagination to plan for a fun future. They can struggle to stay in the present moment and stay engaged, because what hasn't happened yet in what's in my imagination is always more fun than what's happening right now. So sevens are always outrunning their pain. They avoid uncomfortable situations and relationships. They move away from anything that could turn painful. And let's go back to this word trapped. That was one of their core fears being trapped. Sevens have this sense that if they go into pain they might get stuck there, so might as well just avoid it completely.
Speaker 1:Sevens are amazing at seeing the bright side and helping other people reframe. Mini. Sevens are really great at creating fun, exciting experiences for others. They are out of the box thinkers with exciting imaginations. Other nicknames for type seven the enthusiast, the epicure, the entertainer, the adventurer. Let's move on to type eight. Enneagram eight is called the challenger.
Speaker 1:The core desire of type eight is to protect themselves and their inner circle and to be in control of their own life. The core fear for eights is being weak, powerless, controlled or betrayed. Their focus of attention is on power and control. Who's got it? Who's got the power? Who's got control? Eights are honest and straightforward. They don't play guessing games. They tell it like it is. You don't need to wonder whether an eight is upset with you or not. Eights don't hide their anger. They're not afraid of their anger. They're comfortable expressing their anger, and many of us other types are afraid of expressing anger because of a fear of conflict which eights do not have. Enneagram eights are comfortable with conflict and many eights say that conflict it can feel like connection to them.
Speaker 1:Type eights are people who care very much about protection. They are hyper aware of weakness in themselves and in other people. They hide their own quote unquote weaknesses in order to protect themselves and in other people they hide their own quote-unquote weaknesses in order to protect themselves and they use their power and strength to protect others. Specifically, they care about protecting the people closest to them and, because of their passion for justice. They protect the underdogs. Deep connection with others can become a challenge for eights when they aren't willing to be vulnerable and share their true emotions. Eights they also tend to be big picture thinkers, a visionary, and this can help them in terms of leading teams of people. Other nicknames for type eight the boss, the fighter, the controller, the protector. Let's move on to type nine, the final type.
Speaker 1:Nines are called the peacekeepers. Their core desire is to have internal and external peace and stability. Their core fear is being in conflict or tension, or losing connection with others or losing connection with others. Nine's focus of attention is on the external environment and on harmony. So that can be harmony of the physical environment or harmony among the people. Nine's desire for inner peace means they don't like to let things in from the outside that are going to interrupt their peace. For example, they prefer to let things roll off their backs and ignore moments that other numbers might take offense to. Wanting harmony in the environment causes nines to focus on what other people want, to the neglect of what they themselves want. They have fallen asleep to their own desires, their own opinions. It feels easier to go along with what everybody else wants. That way they can avoid any tension or disconnection.
Speaker 1:Many nines say that they are out of touch with their emotions and it takes hard work to uncover and process their emotions. Big emotions might disrupt their inner peace. An interesting pattern with Enneagram 9s is that they go through life pushing things down and down and they push their emotions down and they push their anger down. But if you keep pushing emotions down, they have to come out somehow some way. And people say that Enneagram nines they know will explode like a volcano in anger, like maybe once a year, like it doesn't happen a lot, but every once in a while all that built up anger will come out in a violent explosion and then they go back asleep to it again because they're motivated to keep the harmony with the people around them. Nines can also be very stubborn. They might disagree with something privately, even if they don't say it out loud because they don't want to disrupt the harmony with other people.
Speaker 1:So other nicknames for type nine include the peacemaker, the peaceful person, the mediator and the accommodator. So these are the nine types, because the Enneagram types are described with internal motivations. You cannot name somebody else's type, someone who is not. You cannot name your type, the only person who you can truly know their internal motivations is you, and I just want to stress again that these types they're not based on external behaviors. It's common for people to learn the Enneagram and distill a type seven down to being an enthusiastic person and then type every enthusiastic person they see as a type seven. Please don't do that. First of all, many types can look enthusiastic, but it's for different reasons. Secondly, the Enneagram works best when people discover their types for themselves.
Speaker 1:If you want to learn more about how to figure out your Enneagram type, my episode 5 is all about that how to type. So go listen to episode five. It's a quick one, it's less than 20 minutes. So here's why I love this tool. It helps me understand where other people are coming from. It's super fun to be in a group of people like family or friends or your team at work, and then, if everybody has figured out their Enneagram types, you can have these moments of oh so that's why you reacted that way, or that's why you do things that way, and it's so enlightening to understand the specific ways that other people are different.
Speaker 1:Within the nine Enneagram types are so many shades and tints and hues To continue the paint metaphor each Enneagram type is a different color, but when you walk into the Home Depot paint section, there's hundreds of blues and hundreds of reds, etc. You get the picture. So this episode is just a starting point to begin learning about the types. We could even refer to the types as more broad categories, because within the category of type 2, there's a lot of different people acting a lot of different ways, but they are coming from a similar core motivation. So this series will continue, with episodes about each Enneagram type going into more detail, and I'll be having guests on representing each Enneagram number. So the Enneagram episode about type three will be me chatting with a type three guest and so on.
Speaker 1:So nowadays I have a lot more answers to questions like what are your strengths, what are your weaknesses, what sets you apart from the other candidates? I know that I am a really hard worker and anything I do I want it to be high quality. I also know that I will procrastinate if I think something isn't good enough yet and I can be super critical of myself and of others. I have high standards and I don't want to do something wrong and get in trouble, and I also now know that everybody else in the world is not like that. Everybody else is not looking at me, expecting these super high standards from me and judging my every move, and that is so freeing for me. The Enneagram helped me understand all of this about myself.
Speaker 1:If we think about this analogy of boxes right, people talk about don't put me in a box and I really believe, with the Enneagram and with these types and the patterns that are ingrained into your type, that we are living in a box. Already we stay stuck in so many ways, based on our Enneagram type and these patterns and these false beliefs that we have. But learning about the Enneagram it helps you understand the box you're in so that you can get out of it. You can have this perspective on what is actually true about you and what things you do are just coming from these beliefs that your type has given you, and it helps us get free from the boxes that would hold us back. Well, I believe so much in this tool, which that's obvious because I'm making a podcast about it. So, anyways, I hope you all enjoy learning about the nine types in the coming weeks. We'll go in order, so the next episode coming out will be about Enneagram type one.
