Towards Eden, an Enneagram Podcast

#33 - Enneagram 101 - What is an Enneagram 6? with Christel Bublitz

• Elyse Regier

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Christel Bublitz is our guide to Enneagram Sixes.

Type 6 is known as “The Loyalist” or “The Questioner.”  Sixes are prepared, safety-conscious, and supportive. They are often the glue that holds groups together.

Christel explains the Type 6 core desires to be supported, safe, and secure, as well as the fears of being abandoned, alone, and unprepared.


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SPEAKER_01:

My type six guest is my friend Crystal. And we actually are recording this episode live in person in the flesh. And those of you who have heard Crystal on past episodes might be able to guess that there's another person in the studio with us. And it is Aaron Parker Type 2. And because Aaron and Crystal are besties, we scheduled our type 2 and type 6 recordings on the same day. So the three of us are all hanging out. And uh Crystal, thank you for being willing to come on again. You've done a couple episodes with me, and I'm really happy you're back.

SPEAKER_00:

So excited to imagine that it's been a year ago since you did your first podcast. It was just so fun. And just to see that first picture that we got to be that ship that helped sail off. So yes. Happy anniversary. Thank you. Congratulations. We're so proud of you.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00:

Seriously.

SPEAKER_01:

We're recording this on um June 26, 2025. And last year, June 25th, 2024, was the first, the first, you know, podcast recording that I ever did, that we ever did. And it was here with Crystal and Aaron. And it was just for fun. I didn't know what it was gonna turn into or if we were just gonna record one thing and be happy with it. But yeah, so it was a a year ago yesterday that we were first here in the studio together. So really happy you're back, Crystal, and back to talk about Enigram sixes. Heck yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Heck yeah. You know all about sixes. Every day I wake up and I'm still a six. It shows up every day.

SPEAKER_01:

Every day you're still a six.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh tell the people where you are in the world and what do you do in life. I am in Laporte, Indiana. I am currently a retired, used to be in the dental profession, uh dental hygienist by license. I've been retired now for 10 years this October, and it's been fantastic. It's allowed me to travel with my husband and to do the things that I've always really wanted to do. And one of my good friends uh was like 20 years older than me, and she talked about retirement, and she said that she appreciated the ministry of availability. And what that meant was, you know, how you can get so stuck in your busyness that when you have that extra time to just pause before you say all those yeses. So after I retired, I took a good year, and I have learned to keep my yeses and my no's in check. Ooh. So that's been a blessing. That's just something that I think about when I think of Nancy.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, I love that. Yeah. Learning about uh being intentional with what's a yes and what's a no, right? So as we are here in this series about the nine types, I'm gonna talk through some of the main things about Enneagram type six, and then I'll ask you some questions about the six. Fantastic. So Ennegram type six, I uh call sixes the questioners. So the core desire of type six, questioner, is they want to be certain and secure. They want to have support, guidance, and stability. So again, it's about certainty, security, finding support. Um, this is the core motivator for sixes. And then so the flip side, the core fears for sixes are being without support or guidance. So kind of uh being alone um to look after themselves, being blamed, being alone, being abandoned. These are the core fears. And type sixes are in the head triad along with fives and sevens. So five, six, and sevens, these are all head types, which means they lead with their thinking intelligence. So when it comes to decision making, sixes are gonna go typically they're gonna go to their heads first. Okay, think about it first. That comes before um feeling, and that comes before uh jumping um urgently into action. So with um that basis for the sixes, we're gonna turn it over to Crystal. And I'd love for you to tell your story about how you found the Enneagram, how you landed on type six.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, yes, that was a really fun journey. Um, when Erin and I early on in our friendship, when we were new besties, new besties, we found that we had a lot of things in common. Uh, we're both really like psychology geeks. It's like learning why and just kind of self-discovery about ourselves and and sharing as we were learning um more of one another's personality, kind of like Erin's always been a really good uh question answer. And it's like, you know, I thought about things that I felt like I was strong in, things that I was insecure about, and some of the stories, it's just interesting that you find these common threads as you tell those stories. Stories from your own life. Yes. And I believe somehow we landed on the Enneagram, which I had heard about it before. Um, I was listening to Jen Hatmaker and I listened to several of her podcasts over 2020. Um, so I was familiar with it and I was curious to find out what I really was. And that was just completely Erin's jam. So she quick sent me the free link, and I took the quiz and I got the answer. I turned up being a Neagram 6, and I was like, what really struck me in the chest was like how big my insecurity, my fear is in determining how I make decisions, how I prepare for things. Um, and all of all of those things that you mentioned are true, but it was such an interesting journey. Okay, I'm a six, now what? And it just became such a fun research project. I mean, we just grabbed hold of any book that we could begin reading, and then you came along in our lives, and we took Becky's class, and then we took the one that you did with Becky together, and we just completely geeked out. It was like any time that we were in a group of people, it's like, have you heard of the Enneagram? And there was one night we were at a uh business dinner, and Erin was with us, and she had the entire table interviewed as to what their Enneagram type was, and we were all geeking out. We had just so much fun because it was such a contagious energy and joy because it was like, Yeah, yeah, that is what I am, and you know, just kind of having fun with it. So fun.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Uh if people have been like listening to this whole series, they uh will have heard about Becky Crane. She was our Ennegram three, and she talked about this class. So Crystal type six, Aaron type two, Becky type three. You'll hear in all of their interviews that we did this Enneagram class at church together. Yes, which was so much fun. Okay, were were there any doubts about six? Did you ever think, oh, maybe I'm not a six, other numbers?

SPEAKER_00:

No, no, I think you know, and I think it's common when you're going through all the checkboxes when you hear about the core fears, that's kind of what drives the ship a little bit more. And it was like, oh, yeah, I feel really strong about those particular elements. There's so many positive elements, but it was just kind of like that's the confirmation right there.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, sometimes uh a lot of times when people land on their type, there's like a yikes, you know, in there.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Especially in a group. Oh no, don't look at me. Don't know my motivations. Yeah. Uh so we're gonna um talk more about the core desire and then the core fear. So again, for type six, that core desire is to be certain, to have certainty, and to have security, and then to have support, guidance, and stability. And when you think about having support, guidance, and stability for mini sixes, that comes in terms of having um the people who are supportive, right, in the community. Um so can you talk about what what that's like for you?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh, it is definitely part of the room. If I'm ever asked to do something that might be new to me or stretch me a bit, it's like, you know, I'm I'm willing to serve, I'm willing to do, but I also need to make sure that I've got a team alongside me and that I've got enough information so that I can really wrap my brain around it before I jump in.

SPEAKER_01:

So and is that about feeling prepared enough?

SPEAKER_00:

Definitely, definitely. One of the one of the favorite stories, we went to go do the three dune challenge. Erin has this phenomenal t-shirt uh collection, and I was like, Three Dune Challenge, what was that? Was that a race or whatever? Blah, blah, blah. So it's this significant hike up the uh escalating dune. And she says, Well, we can go do that. And then there's this little office, you can get the t-shirt, you can get the sticker, you can put it on your water bottle, you know, you get the bragging rights that you did this. And I'm like, Yeah, sure. I love hiking. I love being in nature. It's a great way for me to just kind of decompress. And um, I didn't quite have the information as to how long it would take, um, how long we would be there. Are there bugs? Is it gonna be a lot of sun? Should I bring snacks? Should I better bring something to drink? What if my shoes get too sandy? If I need a backup pair of shoes, or you know, if it gets cold, you name it. I mean, I almost had a suitcase when she came to pick me up.

SPEAKER_01:

So you were thinking of all those questions, but you didn't have all the answers, so you just prepared for any of the answers.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah. Just bring it all. And I ended up leaving it all in the card because it was kind of funny. It's like it's only gonna take like a half hour.

unknown:

It's like oh.

SPEAKER_00:

That was so funny.

SPEAKER_01:

You were ready for like a whole day. We could have gone on vacation at least a couple days. Yeah. Yeah, I like how you're talking about having all the information. Yeah, this is a good key key thing for sixes.

SPEAKER_00:

It's true. It's true. I there's there's a vulnerability to stepping into something new and to have all the information and get it all prepared and really feel ready so that the anxiety, you know, just the nervous energy just kind of stills. Uh, there was a brief period of time where I did some teaching of pickleball for beginners. And I did a course, I got the certification. One of my friends was going to do it, and she's like, Do you want to do it with me? Of course, of course, of course. I was like, I have no idea. I can play pickleball in my sleep. Sure. But how do you teach a beginner? It's like, how do you fill that time? What do you do? What do they need? I mean, I can explain it, but you know, it's always been like family picnic style. It's like, hey, let's play pickleball. You can get the net out, get the balls out, and you know, you just play and you kind of explain it as you go. And it was a binder about three inches thick, and I got the certification, and we did the drills, and and we were proficient in doing it, and off you go. You are now certified to teach pickleball. And the first, well, I did it for a summer. The first time I did, I was so nervous. It was like I was pouring over this binder and I was writing notes in Sharpie marker so it could stay on the ground so I could remember like what we were gonna do next as far as drills and blah, blah, blah. Um just to calm my nerves. And then I when I did, I was like, I didn't even need it. The huge binder scour over binders for hours, and it was just like this is kind of silly.

SPEAKER_01:

It's like you know how to play. Yeah. But so let me ask you this for me as an enneigram one and we're in the gut triad, I would I would do this thing that you're talking about. So behaviorally, okay. I could do the same behavior of, okay, I need to teach someone something and I'm gonna spend like hours reading through the notes, making sure I have all the information. And for me, the reasoning behind that is because I don't want to make a mistake and I don't want to be wrong. I want to have like all the information correct. So what's the difference for sixes?

SPEAKER_00:

Um for sixes, the the loudest gremlin in the room at that time was the liability of teaching people of all different types of athletic or not at all, people that, you know, it was common for seniors to have an interest in pickleball. So the the dexterity that a senior might have can vary so greatly. And my worst case scenario, fear, played out in front of me a couple of times. People fall, you know, just the balance and the ability to move. And sometimes people move faster than their feet are ready to support them, and boom, I was just it feels so bad, but it was just, you know, to prepare for that situation beyond the necessary because I was just like, what if I get sued? You know, the worst case scenario thinking is just like you don't know these days. Yeah. Just to take that kind of responsibility, or the park department puts the our wonderful park department, puts in the uh thunder and lightning alert. So there's this alarm that goes off at um what's the name of the park again? What the castling? Kessling Park. Okay. Yeah. And uh, you know, storm clouds are out, but there's like no real threat. It's not like we just got hit by rain or anything, and I froze because I was just like, I'm not prepared for this. I don't know what I need to do. And it kept going off every once in a while. And the signals mean something, but I didn't know, and I felt responsible for people.

SPEAKER_01:

And I like that you use the word liability. Like you're thinking in terms of liability, safety, um, not wanting people to get hurt.

SPEAKER_00:

No. Right.

SPEAKER_01:

And doing it right and doing it well, and yeah, that's a really good story explaining some of that. Yeah, okay. And then I'll read the core fear again and see maybe you can add another story um for the core fear. Court fear being without support or guidance, being blamed, alone, or being abandoned.

SPEAKER_00:

So how how do any of those, maybe pick one and how how does those here is one in my life that while it was years and years ago, I will never leave my mind. I was asked to move from uh a dental hygiene position into a front office staff member. And there had been some changes in our office, some people needed to be let go, and the awkwardness of having that kind of tension in culture, and then suddenly stepping into a role that you're not trained for. Oh no. The people that you're replacing are gone, so you don't have them to lean upon. And by the way, we've got another gal that we've hired to come alongside you. She doesn't have any dental background experience either. Um, but we you have our full support.

SPEAKER_01:

You have our full support, just lip service.

SPEAKER_00:

And mind you, that everybody's, you know, working with patients and that you don't you don't really have people to train you. I mean, you have experience in in in the office, but it was kind of like I was the one my partner was looking to to help guide her. And I could answer the phone, I could do the computer, but it was just like everything.

SPEAKER_01:

And it was just And they didn't have that transition period of the people leaving.

SPEAKER_00:

It was a unique situation, and it was just it was a a culture. It was a tenuous time.

SPEAKER_01:

So so what what's that like for you? You know, like what's happen what's happening every day at work when that's your experience?

SPEAKER_00:

It well, it was something that needed to happen. A change needed to happen, and f something happened that that person needed to be removed. So everybody knew what had happened and why. But it really kind of felt like I had a bullseye on my back. And not that that that was true, but it's a very unnerving feeling for an Enneagram six. Had I known I was an Enneagram six, I probably would have asked for more of what I needed. Okay. Go, wait, wait, wait, I don't know. That's how you get wisdom, though.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

You get thrown into the deep end and you're like, okay, swim.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, and I noticed that you said the people all said you have our full support, but it sounds like you didn't necessarily feel like you were.

SPEAKER_00:

It's like being air traffic control and you've got you're waving your arms and you're answering phones and you're making decisions and you're doing your best. I mean, people are definitely understanding if you're new. We we decided, my friend and I decided that we were gonna say we're new for at least a year. Oh funny.

SPEAKER_01:

We're still new.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh-huh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. That's a good story.

unknown:

Awkward.

SPEAKER_01:

And you know, you think about like how how other numbers would well, actually, some numbers would maybe respond in similar ways on the outside, you know, maybe behave like how you behaved. But again, there's different things motivating. So that's that's why it's important, you know, for us to flesh out these nine numbers because we're learning about what's motivating, what's the motivation behind the behavior? Exactly. It's not about what we do, right? Because perhaps um perhaps an Ennegram nine would maybe respond behaviorally in a similar way. But exactly. But behind the curtain, it's something different.

SPEAKER_00:

I think honestly, I mean, it the human, the human condition, we care what other people think.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

For different reasons. And we show up and prepare differently than one another, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And you're in the head triad.

SPEAKER_00:

So am.

SPEAKER_01:

And that's what we're gonna talk about next. So Crystal is a type six, you are thinking first in decision making. I I think you even referenced your decision making when you said that's how you figured out what your type was initially, like the six and the head decision making. So let's talk about that. What what's it like being in the head triad?

SPEAKER_00:

It it's easy to be misunderstood. Um depending on the situation. I used to be referred to as she's so quiet. Actually, she's thinking. The brain is not quiet. Yeah, no, the brain really isn't quiet. And you know, different different ways of responding. I can I can run to the fire, but I'm thinking about all the worst-case scenarios, for instance. Another story. I was standing on the front porch with my kids, and it's a county road. Cars go by, cars go by, it's a straight road. And one day somebody was turning into the subdivision that's on the corner. We were on a corner lot, and this car suddenly turned too fast, and the car flipped over into the neighbor's yard across the street. So there's this car that's upside down, and you're like, you call 911, and you're running over to see what you can do. And I'm the one yelling, stay back from the car, it might explode. Because I'm thinking I've watched too many movies. I've seen, you know, I I don't know what with the gas tank is, you know, of course we're concerned about the people. Yes. Call 911. All the worst cases flash into your mind.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I could write a million different movie plots. And I'm pretty convinced that in Hollywood there's got to be a lot of sixes in that line of work.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, movie plots, that's funny. Just figuring out the worst thing that could happen.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, this is this is what the vehicles are going to do when they crash against one another, and this is how much time you have before a bomb could realistically go off, and you'll get this far while you're running. It's kind of sick.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And they'll be like, not that I've ever watched a horror movie in my life, but uh from what I've heard, it's like horror movies, and the person opens the exact wrong door and makes the exact worst decision. Like you should be getting out of danger, but for some reason you would do something dumb. Oops. Oops. What what's it like for you to find a balance between the thinking enough to feel good and confident and prepared versus getting stuck in the overthinking? And how do you even like how do you pinpoint where you are in that? Sure.

SPEAKER_00:

Um I would say I sketch out what I need to do to be prepared. Um I know I can't do everything. Um if I have kind of a little bit of a plan of what I need to do, I can point in a general direction. I'm getting better about asking for help on things that are like this is this is a little bit bigger than I should tackle by myself. Um so yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

It can't be easy, and and all you know is is the thinking triad, right? Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

You don't know what it's like to be.m can be a, you know, you're checking your lists and you're like, oh yeah, that's what I really need to be doing next.

SPEAKER_01:

Has it become easier, especially if you as you've been on this Enneagram journey, has it been become easier for you to connect with the feeling intelligence when you're making decisions and when you're processing?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah, you definitely check in with all of the triads eventually. Um, I've had a couple of times that I've experienced I've tripped into the feelings first, and then is that scary? That was just a unnerving time. And uh yeah, it it all works together. And it's like, you know, I can give myself grace when I get stuck in my feelings, and it just feels like my skin's peeling off sometimes. But um yeah, there's comfort in in in thinking, but yeah. I'm I'm learning to deal with feelings better little by little. Little by little. Yeah. Those pesky feelings. Yeah, I'm not I'm not afraid to say I'm stuck in my feels right now. Just give me a little time, I'll be okay.

SPEAKER_01:

I think you're doing a a good job kind of uh sketching out like connecting the thinking to what the motivations are. So what I what I'm trying to say is the reason there's all the thinking is because of the need to feel prepared and feel secure. And thinking through all the things is what makes you feel prepared, and that's what you try to need as a six.

SPEAKER_00:

Thinking part of getting dressed mentally. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Getting dressed mentally, that's a good one. Yeah. It's what yeah, it's like the thinking is what you need to feel like you are gonna be safe and secure because if you don't think through everything that could happen, how do you know you're going to be safe in the world?

SPEAKER_00:

True.

SPEAKER_01:

But a lot of a lot of other types don't think like that. And it's really helpful to get inside your brain with this. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep.

SPEAKER_01:

I know that you have a friend that may or may not be here in the room with us who will sing the praises of what a gift it is to have an Ennegram Six friend. Yeah. And if you, listener, want to know more, we literally have an episode about the two six friendship. So you should go back and listen to that. So let's talk about relationships. Please. I want to know what you would say are some of your top values in your relationships, and and maybe how can you see those connecting with your any grab type?

SPEAKER_00:

Hmm. I am a loyalist. Um, I also identify with it takes time uh to develop relationships with outside people. Um there's just kind of that not really, it's not always suspicion. Um I'm not one that stays in surface conversation for long. My strength is five minutes. Part of uh my working life was was greeting people and making them comfortable or being conversational as a dental hygienist, you know. It's not deep conversation that you're having. I mean, um, granted, uh, but I lost my train of thought.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh so you were talking about what when you kind of come into new relationships, how you said it's not suspicion, but maybe there's something going on with like with trust. Is it about like building trust with new relationships? It really is. It really is.

SPEAKER_00:

I I really enjoy a good in-depth conversation. Yeah. Um, it takes a while to really get to know people, um, to really ask about things that they might be interested in or family members. Um, that was really cool about being a hygienist is is you get to learn people over time. Um, so it just takes time for me. If I'm in a in a event in a room in a table of eight couples, it's a little overwhelming for me. Okay. You know, I can, I can, I will participate in in conversations. I'm not one to really start up conversations. Um, my jam is really one-on-one. Yeah. So there's that. It's just a unique thing about me, how I show up in the room and being aware of that and needing to push past that at times. So, in order to push past, you know, lean into positive, you know, the basic questions. It's like there's the illustration of like nine top questions that you can ask people to learn and get a get a base for um being in conversation. But but building beyond that takes time.

SPEAKER_01:

So then when you look at your closest relationships, what like what are the common threads? Like what is it about those relationships that you think has made them last for you?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, it's definitely trust over time. It's going through stuff together. It's camaraderie over things that you have in common as far as beliefs, um, interests, hobbies, uh, that kind of stuff. I can I can sit and hang out for a long time. Um, but I do prefer to be active. So if I'm doing something or if I'm serving shoulder to shoulder, way easier. It just gives me a job, a role. I don't feel as much pressure to perform myself as coming alongside other people and doing something.

SPEAKER_01:

One thing we we know about sixes too is that the communities they're a part of are very, very important to them and and make and knowing that they have an important role in kind of like I've heard sixes described as oftentimes the glue that holds groups together.

SPEAKER_00:

Do you relate with the best friend that might be in this room often says that about me for our family? And you know, it's true, it's even we did family pictures and it was an interesting shot. I I was in the middle with my husband, and we weren't all looking directly at the camera, but she got this impression that it was like these are my people. And it was like my tribe. It was just like you could just see in my spirit in that particular context. And it's like you really are the glue of your family. And yeah, amen. Amen. It's just the most important thing to me is that everybody feels seen and supported. And no matter what life throws at us, or just the joy of really knowing each other and staying connected.

SPEAKER_01:

And you care so much about having support that that's also the gift that you give to your people, right? Is that you want them to feel supported. Right.

SPEAKER_00:

I think that's probably exactly why I want to make sure that everybody feels that way. The different personality types and learning what how people need to be loved too is that's another level. But you know, you kind of morph for the different personalities in the family too to be that glue. I bet that picture is really cool.

SPEAKER_01:

Just like a cool, like not posed, but just got the energy and the um are you are you into the love languages? Big time. Big time. That was early on in marriage.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm quality time. Okay. Yeah. My husband's affirmation. I can't remember the kids. But yeah, definitely. Definitely. Always a psychology geek. I just help me understand why how people are wired are wired. What why is this so important to me?

SPEAKER_01:

And I would be curious about, you know, if we surveyed a bunch of sixes in their love language. Everybody's not the same, right? But I wonder how many sixes would also have quality time up high. And like, does that connect with, you know, the desire to have support and stability? And how does that connect with, you know, spending the good quality time with your musical?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, Crystal. I have compiled from all the corners of the internet the top nicknames that people use for any gram sixes. And I'd love to hear your take on these nicknames if you have uh one that's your favorite or that speaks to you the most. Okay. Nicknames are are funny because they they they can be reductive and they don't perfectly describe types, but they can be a helpful starting point to go for them. There you go. So here are some of the nicknames for type six: the skeptic, the loyal guardian, the devil's advocate, and the questioner.

SPEAKER_00:

Devil's advocate is a fun role to play sometimes. It's fun for you. It is. It is. It's kind of an honri sassy, but it's kind of like, okay, let's let's go a little deeper here because I'm curious. Um of course I don't have that privilege to do that with everybody, but sometimes there's particular people in the room that have experienced my devil's advocate. Loyalist is my favorite, though.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Um I am I am thick and thin. You know, it's no joke for me. It's it's my family's my family. Uh my bestie's my bestie. And there is absolutely nothing or anything that anybody can do that would lessen my loyalty to those relationships.

SPEAKER_01:

Beautifully said. She's experiencing a few feelings. Some feelings happening in the studio. Um you you read the book uh The Road Back to You, yes, as part of your Enneagram journey. Yep.

SPEAKER_00:

Might have been our first one. Ah, excellent.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. This is a great book. Well, we always recommend this book to great reference. The Road Back to You by Ian Cron. Great gift, yeah. Great. So we have these lists in The Road Back to You. And the list is what it's like to be a six. Okay, there's one for every number. So I'm gonna read through. There's 20. I'm gonna read 10 of them. Okay. And uh well, I'll just start reading, and if you feel like interrupting and responding to some, you can do that. Okay. Otherwise, you can comment on them at the end. And you I I'm curious about which ones of these you remember because I know you went through this list earlier.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, it's kind of like the bridle shower games.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

What do you remember was on this tray?

SPEAKER_01:

So, what it's like to be a six. I'm always imagining and planning for the worst. I often don't trust people who are in authority. People say I am loyal, understanding, funny, and compassionate. Most of my friends don't have as much anxiety as I do. I act quickly in a crisis, but when things settle down, I fall apart. Oh gosh. Like the flipped over car across the street.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or metaphorically, when life flips upside down. Yeah. Yeah. We've experienced a few of those this year. It's are you quick acting? Soldiering. I am a soldier. If if some crisis comes, I turn my thinker off and I go. Oh. And I go and I go. And I can't stop. Oh. Otherwise, I'm stuck thinking. Worst case scenario more. If I'm doing something else, then I'm like, I gotta go. I gotta go check on this person that I love.

SPEAKER_01:

Is it like you've already you've already done the thinking to prepare for what could what could happen and what would you do if that happened? So then when you're in level, you can just go.

SPEAKER_00:

Definitely want just kind of wanting to just clear away any of the hills just to kind of level things out so that you can make something easier, normal. Um yeah, thank goodness life is kind and doesn't throw a lot of those at us, but definitely, definitely got a big reaction out of me on that one. And then you fall apart when things opportunities come when things start to settle, or you just have time to process what you've just been through. There's a little PTSD.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Next one. When my partner and I are doing really well in our relationship, I find myself wondering what will happen to spoil it.

SPEAKER_00:

Worst case scenario thinking, yeah, it can affect every relationship for sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Being sure I've made the right decision is almost impossible.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my gosh. I've forgotten about that one. It took me 18 months before I finally could even say, I'm gonna retire. Oh. Because I was worried about disappointing people.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I was like, well, what if I make this change in my life? And what if I don't love it? What do I do then? Will I ever find something that I love to do again? What will I do? And thank God I did it because all of those questions just washed away. I was fully prepared for that to come up, and it didn't. And then once you made the decision, you felt good and confident and relieved. I was completely prepared for every possible scenario, and you just have to trust, you just have to leap. Yeah. Takes a long time for six to zip line. Which I've never done yet. Zip lines. Oh, you're gonna have to shut your architect.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Yeah. Uh all right, we've got a few more. I'm aware that fear has dictated many of my choices in life. I don't like to find myself in unpredictable situations. Yes. We've talked about a few of those already today. I find it hard to stop thinking about the things I'm worried about.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, I'm good at worrying. So good. Gold stars. That is a spiritual gift that I'm not really proud of, but she's got this worrying trophy.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. What about this one? I'm generally not comfortable with extremes.

SPEAKER_00:

Hmm. Yes. Yeah, definitely. I would say where I'm at in life now, I've I've grown, I've become more aware, and I'm much less either A or Z.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

It's like I am so much more curious than I was, I am so much more gracious than I've ever been. Um, and and a lot of that is tied to my faith, but that's a framework, and because of the grace of God in life and relationships and meeting people unlike yourself, that has been the biggest growth. And the Enneagram. Yeah. And the Enneagram. It's just really cool. One of the one of the most fun times, it might have been the same same event that my best friend, who might or might not be in the room, was at, was just asking people what they were most excited about in the next six months and watching people light up to talk about themselves. That's a great question. And there was just stories from all over the map. And it was just the best time I've ever had at a business dinner in my entire life. That's so cool. We were just pumped.

SPEAKER_01:

So you can learn a lot about people too. And yeah, you can.

SPEAKER_00:

And it's just you know being prepared with having some good questions and just a willingness to dare to put yourself out there.

SPEAKER_01:

Did you just say that uh you like to be prepared for small talk? Oops. Uh yeah. That's me. Did you want to talk about any of the other ones that I skipped past? Any other stand out to you?

SPEAKER_00:

Trusting, trusting authority. Oh, girl. Ooh. I have given up the news. I have avoided. And I'm not proud of that. It's just healthier for me. Yeah. I get current events filtered.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, just because I, as a six, really don't trust any way of being communicated to without it being manipulated and trying to tell me how to think. Ugh. And I'd like to think that growing up it was different, but it's interesting when you read autobiographies and things of that sort and just listen and dive in, it's like, you know what? There is nothing new under the sun. It's just bias and everything. It's just currently just like nails on a chalkboard.

SPEAKER_01:

How does that you said you you're you're suspicious of how the news is communicated because anything could be spin, manipulated. How does that tie into that um the need for support, certainty, and guidance?

SPEAKER_00:

Thank God for my faith. It's really relinquishing control. It's avoidance. I mean, I'm I can't say it's healthiest right now. It's probably an area I could grow but tend to avoid. Um I believe firmly in the sovereignty of God. And I've also learned there there's less that we have control over than we think. I am a faithful voter. I try my very best to get good information and to be a listener and not buy everything 100%. So I really watch local politics carefully. Okay. There was a season of that which gave me hope again. You know, they're real people. We've had some, we've had some great mirrors in our community, and I really appreciate when they're just present and approachable. And it's easy to be an armchair critic, and that's where I don't want to land, which is why I kind of avoid bigger picture.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, fighting against the cynicism. That's good. Yeah. Well, we have uh reached the end of my prepared script, so I want to ask you if if there's anything else that you feel like you want to share. You don't have to, but what else do you want to end us with?

SPEAKER_00:

You know, I I would say one of our mottos for years and years is to be teachable. Um, it's just so interesting to learn about other people but ourselves too. And it's just find find something that you can gravitate towards to better yourself. Um, self-realization is a much greater tool than trying to fix others because the common denominator in all of those experiences is ourself. So there you go. Be prepared.

SPEAKER_01:

Be prepared. And that's it on Ennegram Sixes. Thank you so much for being our going through the sixes. Thank you. This has been awesome.

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