Sorry But...with Bob the Blade
Rock radio DJ of 32 years tells the stories in the side-splitting and eye-opening podcast.
To Support:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2388440/support
Sorry But...with Bob the Blade
Sorry But I Am NOT Aging Gracefully. It's Bad.
Ever wondered why old Mountain Dew ads have a hint of moonshine mystique? Or how a hip replacement can turn shoe lifts into a comedic fashion statement? Join us for a light-hearted escapade into the quirks of aging, from the contemplation of bathroom safety installations to the peculiarities of small-town dynamics, where junkyard rivalries and bargain car sales reign supreme. We even toss around the cheeky idea of renaming the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill area a "Scalene Triangle" or "Trapezoid" just for the fun of it. Amidst these chuckles, we acknowledge the cultural quirks of our neck of the woods, including the luxury cars and the 'Yankees' who dare to join the Southern mix.
Fast food prices got you down? You're not alone! We vent about the woes of 2024, from needing glasses at every turn—yes, even at Taco Bell—to the pesky labyrinth that is two-step authentication. And yet, solace is found in the pages of National Geographic, with the whimsical life of okapis contrasting starkly with the daily grind of lions on the hunt. So, let's share a laugh and express a bit of gratitude that we're not enduring the wild game of survival that our feline friends face. Tune in and chuckle with us as we unravel these tales with wit and warmth.
I always appreciate your support, I am very clear in my understanding of how unclear I really am of myself
and the kaleidoscope in my head makes me laugh.
Man, that's god old Mountain Dew. I found out that Mountain Dew was a nickname for moonshine. You know, I had no idea all these years. Now I have an idea why I'm addicted that Mountain Dew was a nickname for moonshine. I had no idea all these years. Now I have an idea why I'm addicted to Mountain Dew From the middle of nowhere, in the warehouse studio.
Blade:It's the Blade podcast. And here is Blade, grandpa Jones. I don't know, those old videos just came across it somewhere, kind of comforting, always entertaining, and those banjo players, wow. But I have a hip update. 18 months ago I had hip replacement surgery and you know, picture, if you will, a queen with a scepter, not like a wand, but like a scepter, and it's like a ball at the end of a long stick that's pointed and they put that in and that's your new hip All in the matter of four hours. It's like outpatient right. And so I've got this new hip and the ortho told me two weeks after in the follow-up listen, your right leg is going to feel a little bit longer than your left leg, you know, for a while. But with rehab and over time it'll all even out.
Blade:Well, 18 months later it hasn't even out. Just feel like this circus attraction, you know. Step right up and see the tilted man. You know, my right, right leg is like an inch longer than my left leg. You know my middle leg, now that, sorry, that, remained intact. The same, the same I.
Blade:I could go either way with that. I could actually, you know, self-deprecate myself and that potential joke, or I could deify myself, but I left it open-ended, as you can see. But you know, and, and so I look it up on the internet, how do I fix this? A year and a half later, nothing's changed. Grandpa McCoy Took me all these years and a hip replacement to figure out why he walked like that the real McCoy's, you know. So I look it up on the Internet. How do I fix this? Or am I stuck with it the rest of my life? And here's what I find.
Blade:A non-surgical repair is a shoe lift. You know, it's those black tennis shoes that have an inch sole on them. You know, and you wear that on your shorter leg and the other tennis shoe is like normal. And I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to wear a shoe lift. They've got some very nice options, you know.
Blade:No, no, you know, getting old is tough, you know, because I'm just not going to do that. It's tough because I got out of the shower the other day and I am seriously thinking about getting one of those long metallic handles and putting that in the shower. You know, I don't want to fall in it. Let's come down to that. I'm not aging. Well, I'm really not. I'm not aging gracefully at all. You know, I talked to my buddies who are basically my same age, you know, same age as me and they say I'll just get over it, accept it and just go play on the white tees.
Blade:You know, and you drive around this town, you do, and you see this bevy of $300 cars and you just, it's just a characteristic, a character trait of the town. I just really enjoy it, I really do. And we have like two junkyards in this town, right, and, and they compete against each other and they have a ball. They do. It's like Marcos, I think. And then you have you know, it's Eduardo's and you have Marcos and Repair and they compete against each other and they just have fun doing it. You know, and I keep waiting for Eduardo to have a sign up, you know, one day that says come on in for the Black Friday sale Car starting at $16,. You know, and then Marco would have to undercut him and you'd see his sign Come on in for the Black Friday sale Car starting at $15. You know, and the grease monkeys that they have in this town, they'll run, they'll run, see them everywhere.
Blade:You know, I'm from the triangle in North Carolina Raleigh, durham and Chapel Hill and, by the way, I always wish they'd come up with something more Come on, guys More imaginative than the triangle, you know, raleigh-durham-chapel Hill, because it's not a triangle, you know. I know this stuff what it is it's a scaling triangle, it's a scaling triangle, you know. So, really, I'm not from the triangle, I'm from the scaling triangle, I'm from the triangle, I'm from the scaling triangle. Now you could add Pittsburgh there and you could say hey, I'm from the trapezoid in North Carolina. I just want to be able to say I'm from the trapezoid, you know, and look at all the blank looks when you say that, which would end the conversation, which I don't want to have anyway. You know, but people always remark when they would visit the Scalene Triangle, they would always remark all the Yankees that would move there. And, by the way, you could be from Yuma, arizona, or Juneau, alaska, or Oslo, norway, and you'd be a Yankee because you're not from around here. But people would visit and people would move here and they'd always, always remark about the high end, high scale cars that they have around here. Damn Blade, I've never seen so many Beamers, you know, or Lexuses, lexi, you know, or Hummers, or Audis, or Volvos, land Rovers in this town. And it's true, and I never thought about it. Look at all these expensive cars they have here, you know, and if you were to come down here and visit me, you'd say, damn Blade, I've never seen so many $300 cars, just the way it is around here.
Blade:Well, it's the end of the year and you know it's always asked in all the family gatherings what were you thankful for in 2024, right, and it's so hard to come up with something, I know. You know, hang out with family, you know, relatives extended hundreds of them, and what were you thankful for? And nobody can really come up with anything except for I've got to, you know, thankful for my wonderful husband. I'm thankful for my beautiful wife and thankful for my darling children, and you know, the Chiefs won the Super Bowl or whatever. It's never anything eventful.
Blade:Here's the things that I am not thankful for in 2024. And let's start with number one the price of fast food. Double cheeseburger combos are $14.92. Now I can't eat fast food anymore, you know, and that'll happen this year the inflation thing. Food is so expensive. I am not thankful for that. So now I'll just eat a. What do I eat? You know, egg salad sandwich. Now, things I'm not thankful for in 2024, two-step authentication because it's not two-step, it's five or six or seven steps if you're lucky enough to sign in Drives me insane in 2024.
Blade:My vision has gone downhill, something I'm not thankful for this past year. I mean, in the gutter, I cannot see anything anymore. I've gone from, you know, one glass pair of glasses upstairs and downstairs, in the car, in the garage, on the porch, you know even thought about hiding a pair in the taco bell, you know, in case I forgot. You know, when I went to go get my gordita chalupa, you know. But now it's gotten me to the point of where I use these little combination. On the back of my gate, you know, you can't read instructions on how to cook something and its packaging, or instructions on how to construct something that you just got from Amazon. It's this Things I'm not thankful for this year. You know, I get the greatest joy.
Blade:One thing I'm thankful for in 2024 is my National Geographic, and I've got a million of them and it's scary, because now I see how you can become a hoarder. They're so cool and they look good and they're beautiful, you know, and they have these storage cases you can put them in. They're so hard to throw away and I can just see it 10 years from now trying to move. And I've got 10 tons of National Geographic that I haven't thrown away. But you just can't throw them away and I've got them everywhere.
Blade:Look at this, you know, but I was reading about the Okapi, o-k-a-p-i, right? No-transcript, what is it? But it just has the greatest life, you know it roams through the Amazon jungle, you know, and when it feels like eating, you know, it just reaches up and grabs like a date or a you know fig leaf or a you know nuts leaves, tree bark, fungi. It has a couple of chomps and they're good, I'm happy. You know, if I ever have to come back as an animal in some other life, would you please not make me a lion.
Blade:You know, those poor lions. They got to sit, you know, in the plains of africa in 125 degree temperatures underneath the only tree and wait for a herd of gazelles to come rumbling by you and then they have to take off after them. And now they've got a chance to eat that day. 60 miles an hour, they got to run and possibly catch a gazelle so they can eat and be happy. And I'd rather be an okapi if I have to be an animal. That's another thing I'm thankful for here in 2024, that I'm not a lion. That should just about do it All. Blade content is available at bladebrilliantcom. Blade, blade, blade, blade, blade, blade, blade, blade, blade, blade, blade.
