Love Over 50: Overcoming Age Stigma in Dating

Keshia Rice is a certified dating coach, hypnotherapist, and two-time Emmy-nominated journalist. She runs the coaching program "Cherished Women," helping successful women attract quality partners while maintaining their values, identity, and femininity. Keshia also hosts the podcast "Confidently Cherished," where she discusses topics such as building confidence, attracting ideal partners, and setting healthy boundaries.

 Kali and Keshia Rice talk about the challenges and opportunities of dating later in life. Sparked by recent high-profile discussions around age and dating standards, including LisaRaye McCoy’s remarks and the popularity of shows like The Golden Bachelor, they explore how societal attitudes toward age impact dating preferences. Keshia shares insights on setting realistic dating standards, navigating societal judgment, and embracing love over 50.

Key Topics:

• Later Life Love: How attitudes toward dating and marriage are evolving for individuals over 50.
• Navigating Societal Judgment: Addressing the stigma surrounding dating standards, especially for older women seeking financially stable partners.
• Representation Matters: The importance of seeing diverse dating experiences, including older women thriving in relationships, on social media and in popular culture.
• Realistic Standards: Strategies for determining if dating standards are realistic or too restrictive.
• Financial Compatibility: Exploring the role of financial alignment in relationships and the importance of being "equally yoked."

SEO Keywords: Keshia Rice, Humanity of Fame, dating over 50, later life love, realistic dating standards, financial compatibility in relationships, societal judgment on dating, Cherished Women coaching, Confidently Cherished podcast, LisaRaye McCoy dating preferences, The Golden Bachelor, representation in dating, dating standards vs. pickiness, love after 50, navigating age stigma in dating, empowered dating for women

Potential Listener Questions:

1. How can women over 50 navigate societal judgment about their dating preferences?
2. Why is financial compatibility important in relationships, and how can you assess it?
3. How has the perception of dating and marriage changed for older individuals?
4. What are the signs that your dating standards are realistic versus overly restrictive?

References and Links:

• Learn more about Keshia Rice’s coaching services: Keshia Rice Website
• Follow Keshia on Instagram, TikTok, and Threads: @KeshiaRice

Find out more about Kali and the show HERE: https://humanityoffame.com/

Transcript

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that there's so many ways in which that fits. We can talk about spiritual alignment. We can talk about, you know, educational alignment, but yes, there's, there's financial alignment too. Hi, welcome to humanity of fame. I'm Callie. Hope you all are doing well this holiday season. Let's get to it. All right. So today, my friends, we are going to talk about not so much miss, miss Lisa Ray, but she is the catalyst of the topic we will be discussing today. Okay. So on our recent episode of the reality with the King podcast, Lisa Ray McCoy star of the players club candidly addressed her dating preferences, leaving fans with much to discuss at 57, the actress and entrepreneur unapologetically unapologetically embraced her gold digger reputation, explaining why she only dates wealthy and successful men. All right. So let's take a look at the article really quick. This is according to the daily mail. Okay. And it says here explaining her decision to only date rich and successful men. McCoy said, here's the thing. I don't want to stress you out, trying to keep up with my lifestyle that I already have and am accustomed to, because if I'm going to these restaurants just for lunch meetings, and it takes you your whole check to take me there. I don't want to stress you out. You can not hang with me. She continued. You are still wanting to vacation for the weekend. I vacation and go on holiday for a month. We are not going to be able to make this work. Okay. So also recently Vivica Fox, she made headlines saying she's 60 and ready for marriage. That also sparked a lot of conversation and negative backlash because of her age. This is what we're going to be talking about today, because it seems as though age is really coming up as the topic of conversation more than anything in regards to this women, men, they have standards, but it seems like the perceptions are a little bit different when it comes to women of a certain age versus men of a certain age, love over 50 age. Ain't just the number. Let me start by welcoming back my guest Keisha Rice, who is a certified dating coach, hypnotherapist, a two-time Emmy nominated journalist. She also runs the coaching program, cherished woman, helping successful women attract quality men while maintaining their values, identity, and femininity. She also hosts the podcast confidently cherished discussing topics such as building confidence, attracting ideal partners, healing from past relationships, and setting healthy boundaries. All right. So welcome to the show, Keisha. Thanks for having me again. I always love being here. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much for joining me and for this topic, I had to call on you. I was like, you know what, this keeps coming up. It was really trending more so when Vivica Fox, she came out and was doing going on, I won't say a tour, but she was on a couple of shows, talking about it or what have you. And now it popped up again with Ms. Lisa Ray. So I wanted to have a conversation about this because more than I see women making what would be considered negative comments or backlash, it's the men. All right. And I also noticed that, again, women's received the backlash, but then we have shows on the television network, ABC, for the show called the Golden Bachelor. Okay. So that's men who are over 50, right? Those type of things seem to be applauded. Right. So I want to just talk about the differences. Again, not so much focusing on Lisa Ray or Vivica, but just the topic itself. All right. Yeah. So you mentioned Golden Bachelor. I also want to mention Later Daters, which is a reality show on Netflix. It has been a huge hit, executive produced by Michelle Obama. Both older men and older women. Okay. And there's talk. I have not been keeping track of ABC and the Bachelor universe as much, so I can't tell you whether or not it's happened. I know there was talk of a Golden Bachelorette. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen that too. We are talking in general more about dating in later life and relationships in later life. And even in my business, I see that reflected. When I first became a dating coach five years ago, most of my clients were late twenties, maybe early thirties. And then I had some clients who were getting a very early jump on things. They were getting coaching at 21, 22. Nowadays, I have more and more women coming to me who are in their forties, in their fifties, in their sixties. And there's two sides of that. On one hand, you have more and more women who are getting to that age and they have never been married. But also you have women who are that age, who are hopeful as in years past, if they were single in their forties, fifties, sixties, they would have been like, okay, all hope is lost. That's just it. And now you have women who are that age, who are single. And they're like, you know what? I really do want a romantic relationship. I want partnership. And I believe that this is possible for me. So I really want to explore, how do I go about finding that? Wow. Wow. Okay. Times have certainly changed. Because like you said, in past times, a person of a certain age would have felt like all hope was lost. I've seen that demonstrated even in my own family, right? I also want to explore if even, you know, social media and things like that have also played a role in how people of a certain age do view themselves as far as opportunities for dating later in life. How do societal attitudes toward dating and marriage change as people get older? In general, in the US, people are getting married at older ages. And now that hasn't changed a lot, but you know, it used to be a thing where women were there, the average age of marriage was early twenties, 21, 22. And now you're starting to see later twenties, and you may think six, seven, eight years is not a huge gap. But when you play that out, if the women who are getting married in their early twenties are now getting married in their late twenties, then the women who were getting married in their late twenties, you know, back in the day, are now getting married in their thirties, and so on and so forth. So you're having larger numbers of women in particular at all age groups, getting married, you know, for the first time. Yeah. And then there's also, our society has gotten to a place where things like divorce are more acceptable. So now you also have this other pool of women who before, if you divorced, that was it, you just kind of stay single forever. Now you have these women who have, they've been married before. And now they're like, okay, you know, that marriage failed, but I still believe I deserve a chance at love. So now you have influx of women who again are older because they've been married. And a lot of times they were married 10, 15 years. So they got married, let's say 25, and they divorced after 15 years of marriage. And then, you know, it takes a couple of years for divorce to be finalized. You do some healing. Now you're entering the dating pool again in your forties or in your fifties, you know, for your second chance at love. And I'm talking about women because there's always been a thing with men in general, one, getting married later. And there's also a lot of times an expectation that if a man divorces or if his wife dies, he's going to remarry because the way our society is, women are caregivers. And especially like if a man has children, there's this whole attitude. Well, of course he's going to get married because you need a woman in the house to take care of the kids and all of that. So those are some things that like men never had to have that stigma of. Whereas for a woman, it was like, how dare she date again? How dare she marry again? She has these kids in the household, right? Yeah. Yeah. So many double standards. So many double standards. Okay. All right. So you are a dating coach, right? So let's talk about your clients. How do you advise clients to navigate societal judgment about their dating preferences, like wanting a financially stable partner and they're over 50, if that even matters? Yeah. So I always tell my clients don't take advice from people who aren't living the life you don't want to live. Okay. Let's start there. So let's just start there. And I do mean that in a respectful way. I'm not saying you have to be mean to your family members, to friends or any of that, because oftentimes these people are well-meaning. They're well-meaning. They just aren't you. And they don't have the same wants and needs and desires that you have. So the thing to start with is when someone is giving you advice or you're hearing even content on social media, you really do have to consider the source and think, okay, is this person living the type of life that I want to live? And if not, let me go seek out advice from someone who can help me with accomplishing what it is that I want to accomplish. Someone who is aligned and understands the desires that I have. And then also if you're getting on social media, representation matters. So you and I are both Black women and I'm a millennial. I have seen so much talk about the fact that the first time I saw myself on TV, the first time I saw a Black girl who looked like me on TV, that inspired me and made me feel like I could do all of these things because I'm seeing it. And it is no different in dating. I've seen people slam different types of content creators because that's how things are nowadays. Cancel culture is huge. But there is a place for a 25-year-old giving dating advice from her perspective, the dates that she's been on and all of that. There are also so many content creators out there nowadays because social media has democratized and anybody can start an account. There are women on Instagram, on Facebook, on TikTok who are in their forties, fifties, sixties, even seventies, and they are giving fashion advice. They're giving career advice. And yes, some of them are out here giving dating advice. And I think being able to find those content creators, follow them and see the life that they're living, even if you don't completely agree with everything that they're doing, knowing there's women out here who are successfully dating, having that representation matters. Good advice that you would give your clients. And to those who are listening as well, how can someone determine if their dating standards are realistic or too restrictive? For example, one who has high standards versus being labeled as picky. Back to considering the source. Okay. The podcast bros are out here, the men with mics, and there's so much content that is aimed at putting people down. When I say consider the source, I kind of want you to also keep in mind that even for men too, because I've mentioned women a lot, but for men too, there is an incentive that keeps you single because that means you'll keep watching. Because if you were happy and in a relationship, you stop watching and their numbers would go down and they would make a lot less money. So keep that in mind. So when it comes to the idea of standards being too high, one of the things that I did when I was single, I remember going through a frustrating period with dating and not really finding the best matches and thinking, am I asking for too much? And I started looking at what I was doing. I was going to therapy. I was working on my emotional intelligence, on my communication skills. And I asked myself, okay, if I'm capable of doing this as a grown woman, there are also grown men who are capable of doing these things. And I'm not asking any man to do things that I'm not doing for myself. Like you mentioned the Lisa Rae interview, the podcast that she was on, and she was talking about wanting somebody who financially is doing very well for themselves because she herself is doing well for herself. So I'll talk about like gold diggers and stuff like that. This is a woman who's very accomplished in her own right. Why should she have to date down and settle for someone who can't hang, who can't match her lifestyle? And I tell women that all the time that sometimes for them, it means they want someone who's financially stable. And I will say, God bless the girl who has her own. Even if you want to be in a relationship with a man who provides, things happen. On the very negative side, he could leave you or things like that. But if he were to pass away, if he were to get sick and not be able to work, you need to be able to pick up slack and things like that. So let's talk about how we're going to get you financially stable so that you're in a better position to be with a partner who's also financially stable. But yeah, if you can do the things that you're asking for, I don't think your standards are too high. Right. I agree because without focusing on LisaRae, just women, I won't even generalize, but there are women similar with the same concept or desire for themselves. And it's not that I'm a gold digger. I'm speaking as if I'm a woman. It's not that I'm a gold digger. It's not that, oh, I just want somebody who makes a whole lot of money. I need somebody who is financially stable or with the abilities to do the things that I'm doing. And here's why, because this is my lifestyle. It's not just, I'm just looking to gain something. No, this is my lifestyle. So there's a level of compatibility when it comes to finances that I desire when I join into a relationship or a union with someone. So the whole notion of the chatter that's going around is that a person of a certain age, oh, that's ridiculous. You're 57. You're 60. You're lucky if you get there. And it's just like, what planet are you living on? You know what I'm saying? Because who are you to tell somebody that because of their age that they shouldn't require as much for themselves? Who should settle for anything just because of their age? That's ridiculous. Even the Bible talks about being equally yoked. Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely. Let's start there. You know, God wants us to be in relationship with people that we are aligned with. Right. Thank you. Thank you so much for joining me, Keisha. If you guys are interested in her consultation services as a coach, you can reach her at KeishaRice.com. For those of you listening on the audio, that's K-E-S-H-I-A-R-I-C-E.com. Any other social media platforms you want to shout out right quick? Yeah. Instagram, TikTok, Threads, Blue Sky Now. All of them are at my name, Keisha Rice. So very easy to find. All right. All right. You guys hit her up. She got some valuable information as you can see from this episode here. Thank you for all of you watching. All right. Thank you, Keisha. Bye. Bye.