What We Made Possible

031. When Your Parents' Dream Isn't Yours: A Systems Coach's Take

Patricia Dayleg Season 1 Episode 31

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0:00 | 32:12

What do you do when you don't want the role handed down by your family?

This week, I sat with a story I came across on Reddit. A young adult is expected to take over their parents' spring roll and boba shop, even as their heart (and their degree) pull them toward a completely different career in web development. On the surface, it reads like a familiar family business succession story, but underneath, It's so much more than that. It's about tangled love, inherited expectations, and the weight of mental health struggles that so many of us in immigrant and intergenerational families know intimately, even when no one says a word about it out loud.

I walk through how I'd approach this as a systems coach, drawing on frameworks that look at the bigger picture, rather than treating a situation like it's one person's problem to solve. And that's because for challenges like these, the "problem" lives in relationships. The resistance, the breakdowns, the unspoken grief? Those are the systems asking for change. And sometimes letting go of who we thought we had to be is its own kind of homecoming.

I'll leave you with this. What would you do in this person’s shoes? What truths are aching to be spoken? Take a listen, and come tell me what lands.

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