Not the Shiny Bits: Real Talk with Brian Perry

What if showing up authentically, flaws and all, could help you become a more impactful speaker, inspire others, and change the world?
  

In this heartfelt episode of Soulful Speaking, Lauri sits down with her good friend Brian Perry—an authentic communication coach, singer-songwriter, and speaker who has spent his life helping others discover their unique voices. Brian shares his incredible journey from shy, dorky teenager to a speaker who connects deeply with audiences by embracing vulnerability and imperfection. Through candid reflections on his experiences, Brian reveals how everything from his early days as a Catholic lector and Boy Scout to his experience leading transformative discussions at Loyola University's Awakening Retreat Group influenced his path to becoming the soulful speaker he is today. Brian shares heartfelt anecdotes that illustrate how his passion for meaningful communication has evolved, guiding him to help others feel seen and heard. 

 TAKEAWAYS:

1.     Leadership isn’t about titles or perfection, it’s about being human: True connection in speaking comes from embracing vulnerability, showing up as your full, imperfect self and serving from that place.
2.     Vulnerability is a Strength: Sharing our struggles, broken parts, and imperfections can create deeper connections with our audience and make our message more impactful.
3.     Everyone Has a Voice Worth Hearing: The world needs to hear from the “misfits” and the “shy dorks” who bring important, fresh perspectives to the conversation.
4.     You Don’t Need Permission to Start: Don’t wait until you feel ready or perfect; start speaking from the heart now, and the rest will follow.
5.     Embrace the Mess: Creativity comes from doing the work repeatedly, even when it's messy, as a path to mastery.
6.     Empathy is a Tool for Connection: Instead of suppressing emotions, empaths can use their sensitivity to create a safe space for others and foster deeper connections.
7.     Life is Short, Be Real: Tomorrow is never promised, and the world needs more of our true selves.

Connect with Brian:
www.yesbrianperry.com

Story Magic
A Soulful Speaking Playshop for loving rebels on a soul-driven mission.

Join me for Story Magic — a live, interactive Soulful Speaking Playshop where you’ll learn powerful secrets from the ancient art of theatre for telling engaging, dynamic stories.

The Speaker Alter Ego Quiz

Take the Speaker Alter Ego quiz to find out which protective mask hides your natural radiance so you can learn how to get present, connect deeply, and share your vision when it matters most!

https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/

Chapters

• 1:56 Brian’s Speaking Journey Begins
• 4:11 College Awakening
• 11:31 The Shy Speaker
• 15:46 Embracing the Misfit: The Magic of Imperfection
• 17:57 Leadership from the Back Row
• 19:16 The Myth of the Shiny Bits: The Problem with Perfection
• 24:01 Embracing the Mess
• 29:40 Authentic Communication and Soulful Serving
• 32:37 Harnessing Empathy
• 35:51 Authenticity, Creative Exploration & The Universal Power of Truth
• 40:04 Closing Questions Inspired by Bernard Pivot

Transcript

Lauri Host

00:00

Hey there, welcome back to another episode of Soulful Speaking. I'm your host, Lauri Smith, and today joining us is a really good friend of mine and all-around awesome human being, Brian Perry. He is a singer, songwriter, authentic communication coach and speaker. He creates safe spaces for people to feel deeply and to be deeply seen. In those spaces he helps individuals tap into and claim more of their authentic voice, enabling them to live more fully into their unique once-in-a-lifetime story. Brian, welcome. 

Brian Guest

00:38

Oh hey, Thank you for having me. Oh hey, I'm thrilled to be here, Thank you. 

Lauri Host

00:44

So first question the title of the show is Soulful Speaking. What has been your speaking journey up to this point in your life? 

Brian Guest 

00:57

Okay, so a small question my journey as a speaker. It's interesting. I was thinking about that getting ready to talk to you today, because I haven't thought about that journey in a while. There's an argument to be made that it started back when I was raised Catholic and when I was young I was a lector at church, which is to say that they do readings during Mass from the Bible, and I would go up and read and I remember that, for some reason, the way that I did that really impacted people, which, to me, was just all I did was prepare so that I didn't have to look at the page the whole time and and I could kind of reach out to the room. You know, and this is when I'm, you know, 14, 15, you know, and um

Lauri Host

01:53

That's pretty impressive for a 14, 15 year old to be able to come out of the paper and connect.  

BrianGuest

02:07

Well, thank you, I it was to me, it was to me, it just felt., It felt like I don't know why. It just felt like the job, Like it was. Well, I mean, I should say I do know why. To an extent I'm not giving credit where it's due. So I was a boy scout too. So so far we have me in church and a boy scout, which is not two places that I haven't been in a long time Um, but uh, but uh. Anyway, my dad taught the speaking merit badge, um, uh, for my scout troop and uh, it's so, and I was a very good student for that speaking merit badge. So I guess that's where. But honestly, so that's kind of where it started. 

02:46

But my speaking journey really started in college and there were a couple of memorable incidents or precipitating moments that were important for me in that journey. 

03:04

One I was involved with a retreat group called the Awakening Retreat Group at Loyola University in New Orleans and it was this kind of non-denominational sort of hippie light anybody welcome retreat group that was put on by students for students, and the reason I'm sharing this and the reason it's relevant to our conversation is that is because it was by students for students. We had. There was a series of talks that would happen over the course of the retreat, things on on community, on faith, on service, on the self, on uh there was all the different layers and, um, as part of awakening, I ended up leading it at one for one semester and I ended up giving talks in a variety of places in that and the talks that were given in that kind of a space were decidedly soulful, Like that was the expectation you are going to show up and you are going to share deeply and you are going to go deep and for me, I had Gosh. 

04:15

This is a complicated answer. I didn't realize it was complicated, but it's complicated. 

Lauri Host

04:21

Now you know why I have hardly any questions.  I don't need a whole lot of questions if they're complicated answers. 

Brian Guest

04:28

Well, and the reason it just got complicated in my head is I realized that the reason I ended up at Loyola was because I thought I wanted to be a priest. And the reason I thought I wanted to be a priest was because of that, what I was doing, because I felt a calling to purpose. I felt a calling to service, I felt that there was meaning and purpose and I really wanted to be of service. You know, sitting in church and hearing church hymns, like here I Am, lord, felt like it was speaking directly to me and the response that I got from being the lector was such that the community really was kind of nudging this is the direction you should go. And so I felt that kind of call to serve and I felt, even though I was very, very shy, total geek in high, you know, not a super popular guy um, I had something in me said that I, I can speak. And when I got to college and I found this retreat group I think it was some the reason I backed up to say that is is that there was an intersection between that inner priest. Um, during a time in my life when I was leaving the church and decided that wasn't for me on account of things like, you know, sex and you know, I just felt like I didn't like the systems. But that's not what this podcast is about. So, yeah, the experience of serving in that retreat, being called upon to give talks that would come from a place that was like what's been my journey of becoming and how might that be relevant to you? How can I serve you in this moment I wouldn't have used the language of help you feel seen at that point, but that's what I was doing. 

06:27

I had a roommate in college who, um, we had this, these wildly different backgrounds. Um, I had grown up in, uh, in upstate New York, in suburban, like right on the edge of rural, like the neighborhood that I grew up in wasn't a neighborhood yet, and so I grew up like wandering fields and all that kind of deer in the backyard, and my roommate and dear friend grew up in the projects of New Orleans, and so we had these very, very different backgrounds and we used to have these amazing conversations um late at night there in the dorm. And one particular night we were having a chat before we were going out and we happened to turn on the TV and Les Brown came on. He was a motivational speaker of some sort and it was one of these things like Wayne Dyer used to be on PBS a lot. It was one of these kinds of talks. Neither he nor I had ever seen anything like that before and we were both supposed to be out somewhere and we sat there and watched the whole thing. It was like an hour long presentation and both of us left that room going.

07:39

I didn't know that you could do that, that you could do that like the way he was reaching people and the way we were both like we were lit up from his message and just felt like we were walking taller and and both of us we watched, we were walking to, we watched as far as we could. Before we had to go our separate directions for our evenings and we just were like I gotta do that. Yeah, I gotta do that too. That's that this, I have to do that. Um, and it was like for both that too, that's this, I have to do that. And it was like for both of us, something clicked that yeah, that's where I'm called to serve, I can do that. I don't know why, I know I can do that, but I know I can do that. So that was kind of my journey. 

08:17

And then it came back when I was touring as a musician. I was touring as a musician and one summer I was kind of burned out in the music industry, took the summer off, went and worked at a summer camp. It had been a lifelong dream to do. At the end of the summer they had an international leadership conference and there was a guy that was supposed to come and sing at that conference from town and he canceled at the last minute. And they said they were like what are we going to do? What are we going to do? And I'm like yo, hey, right here, you know, that's something I could do. And and they're like, are you sure? I'm sure there's like 500 kids, uh, high school and college students, no microphone, uh, outside, and and they're like just sing. 

09:00

And so what I did was I sang and then for some reason I took questions in between songs and they'd ask a question and I would about my journey and I would turn it into an answer about servant leadership or an answer about the importance of following your dreams or how to know when you found that thing in your heart in this. And then just in between songs, you know. And I got back home to New Orleans, where I was living at the time, and I remember sitting down this is the early days of, like you know, internet and email and all that and I'm like in my boxers and a t-shirt and I'm looking at my computer and and this student had had reached out and sent me an email from Cincinnati and saying Mr Perry, I wondered if you could come and do your program here. And I turned to my wife and I was like I got a program. She was like you do, I'm like I do. 

09:54

Apparently, who knew? And that's when I realized, oh wait, there's this intersection between the music and the speaking and I don't have to be one or the other, I don't have to just be out here sort of trying to be my version of Springsteen and leave behind my call to be that servant through speaking. I can do both. And that changed the whole journey and that more or less brings us to where we are, because that's been the journey since then. Really, what was it? 

Lauri Host
10:24

What was it like when you were the shy dork and you were feeling this call to speak - speak, serve. 

Brian Guest
10:37

That's a great question. Honestly, I felt like I was falling short. Fundamentally, I felt like I think that's why I ended up referencing here I Am. That old hymn is here I Am, I Will Go If you Lead Me. I've Heard you Calling in the Night and I think I just felt like show the way. And I think I just felt like show the way. I don't know how to get from where I am to where I feel like you're calling me to be. It feels incongruent with my understanding of who I am. I'm the guy who gets picked on. I was also the guy who everybody well, I was the guy that all the girls wanted to be friends with but not date. I was the guy that all the girls wanted to be friends with but not date. I was the guy who people felt safe to talk to for some reason that would share their secrets. So I think that's the shy part of me. 

11:42

It was less that I got past the shyness and more, that I just felt called to the service Without illusions that anything would come from that other than that's just what I needed to do. 

Lauri Host

11:50

Yeah, Thank you for sharing that. I love that. I zeroed in on it and it's probably intuitively why I asked you to do this. I feel like that for a lot of the people who will listen. 

Brian Guest
12:04

Right. 

Lauri Host
12:05

That like to a part of us it doesn't make any sense. 

Brian Guest
12:10

Yeah. 

Lauri Host

12:11

We don't know how. 

12:13

There are people who have the microphone all the time in the classrooms that we're growing up in, in and and we see things in the media and they make us feel like the people that are leading, the people that have the microphone are supposed to be something different than what we are, and yet the ones that people feel safe to talk to are the ones who are serving, and I feel like and one of the reasons why I started this podcast is I feel like what got us to where we are now is not going to get us to where we're trying to go. So if we've been only listening to a certain kind of person, the world is craving. I had a client years ago who used to say it's like we're all part of the land of the misfit toys. The world is craving hearing the voices we haven't been hearing from the shy people the dorks the misfits. 

Brian Guest
13:17

You know, I think, what I love about that I love so many things about that but one of the things I love about that is that what I was really fortunate with when I started speaking is that I was, at the same time, tapping into, that I felt called to do music and that I could write a song. And I was bad at it in the beginning. I think I'm better now but I knew that that was something that I wanted to do, and all the people that I was listening to in the genres that I was associating with were people that were sharing their broken parts. Like that was the topic of conversation. I was determined to reach the other people on the island of Misfit Toys and say you're not broken. You're not broken because you have darkness. You're not broken because you have these wounds, these pains. That does not make you broken. That makes you something else. It makes you. It makes you wise. It certainly makes you human. You know it. It makes you able to empathize and makes you. There's all kinds of gifts in that. Thank you for asking me about the past, because I just haven't thought about this in the longest time in that retreat group. It saved my life. I mean, I went through a lot of darkness in college and confronted darkness that I had not confronted previously. 

14:52

But I remember when I was the leader of the group, it was the job of the leaders to give a talk the first night and I remember showing up really first night and I remember showing up really, really, really fully to that. We saw it as I want you to know you're safe. Part of how I want you to know that is I'm gonna share some of my journey. That's not the shiny bits, and I remember finishing that talk and just feeling like a way I'd never felt before. I don't even know how to describe it. I was exhausted in all the best ways. 

15:28

I used to give a talk about leadership's not a title, it's a way of life. It's not about being perfect, it's about being human and it was called changing the world from the back row and one of the things I would talk about we just finished the Olympics. One of the things I would talk about in that talk was what's the thing? You see, like 20 minutes before an event, when they first come in for the coverage of that event, they start talking about the athlete stories and it's like you can't be an Olympic athlete if you didn't have a life-threatening mosquito bite and live in your car six months before the event. 

16:02

Like that's part of it, and why? Because we get that they're amazing, we want to know how they're like us. And, and the thing is, when you let yourself recognize, oh, that person's more similar to me, it's, it's. It's on one hand, really deeply affirming, and on the other, it, it, it raises your responsibility for your own journey. If they can do it, if they can show up this way not do it like go accomplish something, but if they can show up in this way wait a minute. Maybe it's not about some special thing, maybe it's just about deciding to. 

Lauri Host
16:45

Yeah, like not waiting for the permission not waiting until you feel ready. 

Brian Guest
16:55

Yeah, and I think the more speakers I think that's part of what being a soulful speaker is the more we can show up and say this isn't about me showing you my shiny bits, that's not what this is a talk about. That's not what this is a talk about. That's not what this is a journey about. And the more we do that, the deeper the experience becomes, no matter what happens next. 

Lauri Host

17:19

Yeah, when you said shiny bits this time. I've used this metaphor in the past that I think of like Madonna from the 80s and. Lady Gaga as two performers who were sort of similar yeah, performers who were similar in the impact that they've had in the um rebelliousness. And yet, when you said shiny bits, I thought of madonna in terms of the voice and not her voice. But what in the 1980s? 

17:58

I mean she doesn't have Lady Gaga's voice right she doesn't have that, and what the industry did in the 1980s, and still probably does to some people in the pop genre, is like thinned it out, compressed it and like tried to give you only the shiny bits of Madonna. Meanwhile she's making music videos that are not shiny bits really. 

Brian Guest

18:24

Yeah, yeah, clearly

Lauri Host

18:27

And soulful speakers, compressing it and being perfect or showing you the shiny bits is not what is interesting and it's not what we're all responding to, from our presence when we show up, to the stories that we share when we show up, we're interested in uh, with the three original star wars movies, everybody's favorite is the second one, it's the darkest one, it's the one where we're not seeing the shiny bits, we're seeing the struggle. 

Brian Guest
19:05

Hmm, hmm, I don't know if I share that favorite, but I like the analogy. What I'm saying when I say shiny bits, I mean that internal story that tells you to wait until this is perfect, until that it's perfectly honed, and it sounds like it's. That's not how it works, it's. The messy is how you get there and the the when. When I become too obsessed with making it perfect, I've forgotten what my job is, and my job isn't to go there and be impressive. If you, if you have a speaking opportunity, if you have a chance to serve a community that nobody puts you in front of the room to be impressive, that's not why you're there. Yeah, they'd like you to be entertaining, they'd like you to have something that's that that will hold meaning. And, yes, they want to walk out with that feeling that you can have after something amazing happens, where the air feels different, when you walk out of that theater or that space. Yeah, they want that, yeah, but, but they, they're not there to for you to come out there and be like look how impressive I am and that's what. 

20:17

When I'm obsessed with the shiny bits, that's the problem, and for me, I think one of the things that I've been fortunate with is that so many of my heroes are really there. I was a Springsteen, memorably. Uh, he talked. He talked about how, even now, before he goes on for any show, his whole focus is basically how do I light myself on fire and go out there and just absolutely do it like I've never done it before? And, and for me, a thing that I challenge myself and offer up to the universe whatever by any name is use me. If the best way to serve this audience is for me to make an idiot out of myself, let me do that, and let me do it boldly. You know, if the best thing for me to do is, when I get out there, throw away everything I'm prepared to speak about because I can hear it's not landing, and find out what's happening in the room instead, help me do that, but help me remember that I'm not here to be impressive. 

Lauri Host
21:25

Yeah. 

Brian Guest
21:26

You know, that's what I'm talking about with the setting aside the shiny bits. 

Lauri Host
21:30

Yeah, yeah and the you know you got to go through the mess. It may look shiny on the outside and most of the time shiny is probably not the right word, but like, we enjoy it. Like you said, there's some funny stuff and the way to get ready, the way to be ready, is by doing the thing. 

Brian Guest
21:50

Yes and over and over. 

Lauri Host

21:53

Over and over and over. Yeah, Steph Curry didn't get ready to play basketball by sitting on a couch waiting to be ready to play basketball. 

Brian Guest
22:02

Exactly yeah. 

Lauri Host
22:04

It's really clear sometimes when we think of sports. It's not always as clear when we think of things like speaking. 

Brian Guest

22:14

Yes. 

Lauri Host

22:15

Things like doing the things we're called to do in our lives. It's really tempting to go oh, I'm going to do that when I'm ready. Okay, how are you going to get ready? 

BrianGuest

22:23

Yeah, exactly. 

Lauri Host
22:25

What is ready?

Brian Guest

22:26

A hundred percent. I had a I have an on again, off again podcast. That is mostly off again, but I called it. Begin by beginning and that's and that's the deal. You begin by beginning and the reality is that, like when you're amazing speaker studio that I've been blessed to go in and got to get to serve those students who are awesome, that there's this sense of kind of. Sometimes there's a sense for people that are starting that I'm never gonna get good at this like that. First time it didn't go the way I'd hoped to it. I didn't say that. Well, right, it was the first damn time. That's how that works. Yeah, you know, um, it's, it's, it is a process of iteration and I think, um, one of the gifts that you bring is your background, uh, in theater, on all sides of the of that equation, and the recognition that it's about repetition and it's about iteration, yeah, so that you can feel how a line works or doesn't work right. 

Lauri Host
23:33

Yeah, yeah. And when I was much, much younger you just made me remember this when I was in my 20s, I used to show up trying to be the shiny bits Right, bits right. So I had this brilliant ability to go in and give the thinned out, canned sort of held back intellectually make sense version in the auditions and then on day one of rehearsals I was like trying to be done, I was trying to be finished, I was trying to have it. Perfect was never really a word that I responded to, but like finished, pulled together, complete. I was trying to be finished, I was trying to have it. Perfect was never really a word that. 

24:12

I responded to, but like finished, pulled together, complete. I was trying to know on day one and at a certain point I let go of that. I realized that that was not the way and I first learned it with doing an accent. The dialect coach who came in was like you're never going to get there if you're only trying to hit the bullseye really carefully. You need to like try a sound. 

Brian Guest
24:36

Right. 

Lauri Host

24:37

All out. 

Brian Guest

24:39

I love that. 

Lauri Host
24:40

And then you notice how the sound is off and then you correct the other direction, and with an accent in particular. It's like is it over here? Nope, is it over there, nope, not over there. And you, through that, get closer and closer and your, your, the mechanisms are learning how to do it from try it course correct, try it, course correct. And then I started doing that with all of my acting and now I'm doing that more and more and more with my life. You had a speaking journey, and a lot of it was in your younger years. 

Brian Guest

25:15

Yeah. 

Lauri Host

25:16

And now here you are, a mostly grown up human doing work in the world, speaking, singing and doing other work. How did that beginning journey tie into where you find yourself now? 

Brian Guest
25:31

The journey as I described it earlier, tied in because when I saw the impact that it had when I had people I alluded to in high school, how I there, people felt like they could talk to me that went. That changed exponentially when I started serving as a speaker and serving through the music and people would hear themselves in it in a way that they could feel it. And now suddenly there was this conversation between me and the audience that was happening. However small that audience was, it was irrelevant, it was. It was that old truism of if it matters for one person. Then I did my job and it mattered massively. Like the first time that for me it was in music. But the first time that somebody was crying from a song, I was like I want more of that. That's amazing. That's amazing. And the first time somebody came up and was just, you know, the first time I had some you know people come up and say I was, I was suicidal and this thing you said, or this song, you, it pulled me back and um, and and I just felt like you know, I don't know how to feed myself doing this real well, but I know I have to be doing it Mm-hmm, um, I mean literally feed myself, because it was emotionally feeding my. You know it was this. So there was. 

27:24

I am, I'm neurodivergent, I have ADHD and dyslexic and and I deal with depression and anxiety, which are probably related to the others. And and I mentioned that because my journey, I just I realized for the first time during the pandemic, through working with, uh, my therapist, um and uh, yeah, that wasn't with my coach, with my therapy, yeah, and it was that I, I stumbled upon, I went. You know what the issue is. I've always felt like too much and never enough, simultaneously too much and never enough, and I found that when I was speaking, when I was singing, that too much was exactly what you wanted. That's what you were there for, and by too much I'm talking about like I feel too deeply and I think too big and I go too deep in the words that I share and that and the and the and and for people, one-on-one, sooner or later, is god. You're a lot, you know, but in that space, it was exactly what was called for and it was the way that I could be a healing force in someone's world, just a little bit. 

Lauri Host
28:51

One of the things that I noticed working with empaths people who feel a lot, feel themselves and feel what other people feel is if they stop trying to suppress it and hold it in and instead let it exist in the whole room. 

BrianGuest
29:08

Yeah. 

Lauri Host
29:09

It feels less intense. 

Brian Guest

29:13

It's a great way of expressing that. 

Lauri Host
29:15

Like it's not a bomb that's about to go off anymore. It has the whole room to live in and you're talking about turning all of that into service. 

Brian Guest
29:26

And again, not in a way like there's a wonderful passage in Big Magic, elizabeth Gilbert's book on creativity, which I highly recommend. That and Rick Rubin's Creative Act is a stunning book, that's such a good book, but Gilbert talks about please don't write a book to help me essentially and what I so? Yes, my background, I used to teach leadership and the model of leadership I taught was servant leadership. That was what I was trained in and that is the notion that you are a leader for to serve. I went through Jesuit college. That was my college. Education at Loyola was a Jesuit education and it's all about servant leadership. So it's not service in this like look how impressive I am thing. It's like this is how you're supposed to do it For me, with music, the music space, there are a lot of people at least when I was starting out that would get into music. 

30:29

A lot of guys would get into music to get laid. 

30:32

That was the idea that never occurred to me. 

30:35

It was like for me again, the moment somebody was crying or deeply moved in some joyful way through something I had done, I was like, oh, this is a sacred space and I'm the ringleader. I've got to hold the space and I learned very quickly through, particularly through the music, that the gift was that if I told the truth and I got really specific about that truth Not like I need to share all my problems with you so that you can solve them, but say the thing that when I get to it I go and this comes up in my coaching work, authentic communication, coaching that I can't say that that's the thing that needs to be said. And when I hit that thing and I tell the truth, what I found was the more specific, the more true, the more I can't say that it is, the more universal it is, without fail, right. It blows my mind how, if I'm willing to do that and just be honest and be fully present, it becomes this universal thing in a way that it's not when I think I'm being clever. 

Lauri Host
32:05

Yeah, it's such an interesting thing to realize that it's not our perfect bits, it's not our shiny bits that serve Right, it's our humanity. Yeah, the sharing of the things that we think I can't possibly say, that I can't possibly share, that that is what actually serves. 

Brian Guest

32:26

That's the juicy bits. That's that a hundred percent is. And why do you think that is? 

Lauri Host

32:34

Great question, Because then people know they're not alone If I'm thinking I'm too much and not enough at the same time. That's a pretty lonely feeling to have. 

Brian Guest
32:49

Yeah. 

Lauri Host

32:50

And if you show me that some of the things that you think are too much and not enough, and not the shiny bits if you share them with me, then I know I'm not alone. Yeah, because we have those dark bits in common. 

Brian Guest
33:08

Yeah, yeah, and that, that's, and that's kind of everything, because it's, it's, it's. The thing that people forget is that we're all making this up. Every damn one of us is making us up as we go and, um, and, by the way, when we're talking about being honest, for me this shows up in small ways too. One of the things I say these days when I'm asked about the coaching work is what is authentic communication? Coaching to getting good at checking all the responsibility boxes that at least in this country, here in the US, that people seem to get really, really good at being someone else in every space they go into. 

34:08

And there's this call it masking, call it code switching, call it whatever you want, but I know who I'm supposed to be in this room and who I'm supposed to be in this room and who I'm expected to be in this room, such that you get to a place when you're called upon or you feel called to show up fully and be seen and speak your truth and speak your truth, that somehow just being you has begun to feel, at best, frustrating and confusing. But what I see more frequently is dangerous and the reason I'm sharing that in this moment is that when I share that. I've seen on, just like the networking calls, you and I are on that. When I share that, I've seen on just like the networking calls, you and I are on that better than half the time somebody in the room will be like and that's what I'm after yeah, that's when I know. 

35:05

Okay. So this thing that I thought was true, that I'm feeling you're getting that too. And here's the great secret the more you are telling the truth, the more you are showing up soulfully. The more you're showing up and letting yourself be seen, the easier life is, because you're not having to change outfits all the damn time. 

Lauri Host
35:27

Yeah, what a powerful metaphor. Yeah, you're living from the instead of the. Yeah, yeah, it's a lot easier and more freeing. I could talk to you forever. As you know, when I was thinking about this yesterday, I envisioned myself hopping on and saying welcome listeners to the 28 hour podcast episode with Brian Perry. This will be in the show notes, and some people are driving. So, for the people that are driving and listening to this, where can people find you if they want to go deeper with you? 

Brian Guest

36:04

Best place to reach me is at yesbrianperrycom on my website. I'm not particularly active on social media these days. I'm not finding it nurturing, so hit me up on the website. 

Lauri Host
36:18

And now I want to wrap up, Brian, what is your favorite word? 

Brian Guest

36:22

What is my favorite word? Let's do that. Who is the actor who did it? He was like I'm just going to get here and just a favorite word adventure. 

Lauri Host
36:33

What is your least favorite word? 

Brian Guest

36:36

Spreadsheet. 

Lauri Host
36:42

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? 

Brian Guest
36:49

Details and and and um. In honesty, I think when, when, and by details I mean, like when I catch the way a shadow is hitting something or the lights hitting something, or a, a, a word. Somebody says I'm like, hold up, what was that word you just used? Or that line you just said, Like that's. I want to know more about that. Help me, let's. Let's dig deeper on that you know. 

37:19

Yeah, and honesty, because there's. There's nothing. People radiate on a different frequency when they're giving you the truth, and it's in the deepest, most meaningful of ways, a profound turn on. It's everything. 

Lauri Host
37:38

What turns you off? 

Brian Guest
37:41

Well for sure, inauthenticity. It's that kind of love, ya thing. No man, either love me or don't. But don't tiptoe around the thing. Get in there. You can be afraid. I get that. Being afraid is okay, that's completely okay, but it's the faking in a way that holds everything at arm's length with the notion that someday it'll be safe. It's not how you get safe. It gets safe by letting it in and, uh, getting hurt and then learning how not to get hurt but still be open and be you. And so, yeah, inauthenticity, because we don't have time for that. You're tomorrow's not promised man. God damn, give us more to see. Show us you

Lauri Host

What is your favorite curse word? 

Brian Guest

Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. It's so versatile. It can be all kinds of different Love it, use it all the time. 

Lauri Host
38:43

Yes, Speaking of like do it, do it again, do it again. You've done that one a lot. 

Brian Guest
38:48

I have, I've iterated on that. 

LauriHost
38:51

Yeah. What sound or noise do you love? 

Brian Guest
38:57

hmm well, the first reaction to two things that come up for me I love, honestly, I love the sound of silence ish, it's not quite silence, but like being being out on the porch and just listening to the wind and the quiet and the rain oh my God, I love the rain. And last but not least, I love the sound of a really hot mic when somebody's playing a really intimate acoustic. The singer-songwriter, that sense of that they're leaning in and just getting really intimate. Acoustic singer-songwriter, that sense of that they're leaning in and just getting really intimate and real. I love that feel. 

Lauri Host

39:39

What sound or noise do you hate? 

Brian Guest
39:42

Leaf blowers. Oh fuck leaf blowers and drones. 

Lauri Host
39:47

What profession other than your own would be fun to attempt? 

Brian Guest
39:53

This is a tough one. I think something travel related Also. I, I, I for Katrina, hurricane Katrina, I had been working as a, as an actor and film actor and and, and then after Katrina, I kind of my agent went away and I fell away and, um, that would have enjoyed that. 

Lauri Host
40:12

What profession would you not like to do? 

Brian Guest
40:17

Anything whose primary purpose is just to make money, and and immediately, anything that's in a cubicle is, is not for me. Yeah, but when the exclusive purpose is to generate money. But when the exclusive purpose is to generate money, I'm all for money. 

40:43

But as a pursuit unto itself it ends poorly. 

Lauri Host

40:46

What do you hope people say about you on your 100th birthday?

Brian Guest

Well gosh, I hope I get to see 100. That's a really interesting question, Lauri, that's, that's you. That's not the Bernard Pivot. That was a good one. I think what I'd like to have people say is is is, thank you for seeing me, and and. And. The other thing that came, came up just then, was that was more funny. I went on my hundredth birthday. I like and be like man. You sang the shit out of that song just then

Lauri Host

Thank you so much. 

BrianGuest

41:21

Thank you. Thank you. What an honor.