Finding Your Voice: A Journey Through Spiritual Puberty

In this powerful episode, Lauri dives deep with Nick Palladino-King, a conscious coach and mentor, exploring the vulnerable journey of finding one's authentic voice. Nick shares his experiences of "spiritual puberty," a process of shedding fear and stepping into deeper self-expression. He opens up about his evolution from an eager, opinionated young teacher to a grounded leader who embraces neutrality and non-judgment, allowing audiences to engage deeply with his message. Together, they uncover how self-doubt, protective patterns, and inner critics (or "soul suckers") can obscure our truth—and how we can courageously navigate through them to let our true selves resonate. This conversation is a reminder of the invisible ripples created when we choose authenticity over performance.

TAKEAWAYS

1. “Spiritual puberty” is a transformative stage in self-expression, where the soul’s true voice begins to emerge. 
2. When we’re our true selves, we create invisible ripples: an impact that can resonate far beyond what we’re aware of at the time.
3. The “protector” within often holds back our true selves out of fear of judgment; releasing it allows for more raw and impactful expression.
4. Embracing authenticity over performance allows for deeper connections, as people connect with your real self rather than a mask.
5. Treat your Soul as CEO and allow your inner critics and protective parts to act as helpers, not decision-makers.

About Nick: Nick Palladino (IG: @nickpalladinoking) is the Co-founder and CEO of Tribe- Fitness, Yoga and Coaching, a San Francisco based wellness company founded on the holistic health philosophy he calls “Complete Health and Wellness.” Tribe is a leading wellness company in the Bay Area focused on inspiring leadership and health in individuals and companies.
Connect with Nick: www.nickpalladino.co

Story Magic
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The Speaker Alter Ego Quiz

Take the Speaker Alter Ego quiz to find out which protective mask hides your natural radiance so you can learn how to get present, connect deeply, and share your vision when it matters most!

https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/

Chapters

• 0:00 Spiritual Growth Through Speaking
• 15:02 Release the Protector
• 27:58 The Soul as the CEO
• 32:03 Willingness to be Judged
• 33:40 Spiritual Fire and Transformation
• 36:36 Journey to Living in Balance
• 42:45 Passion, Purpose, and Prosperity
• 46:12 Living With Purpose and Growth
• 49:02 Pivot Pivot Lightning Round

Transcript

Lauri: 1:07

Hello Soulful Speaking podcast listeners and welcome back. I'm so excited about my guest today. My guest is Nick Palladino-King. Nick is a conscious coach and mentor with deep knowledge and understanding of physical, energetic, mental and spiritual well-being. Welcome, nick, thank you for being here today, nick.

Nick: 1:32

Zeigler. Hey Laurie, how you doing.

Lauri: 1:34

Good, good.

Lauri: 1:35

So the I always start out with a very similar question and Nick, in some ways, is actually one of the roots in the past that led to this podcast even happening.

Lauri: 1:47

I met him during a yoga teacher training when he was the trainee, and then a few years after that, he came back and he was leading it, and when he was leading it and I said this on your podcast, nick, yeah, you said that the work that emerged from that one day in the yoga teacher training and where you took that, was like a spiritual puberty for you and that hit me so deeply. It was like it struck my soul and I went wow, and it clued me into the fact that, yes, in my branding I say I'm a public speaking and leadership coach and it's a different kind of public speaking and leadership coach. And it's a different kind of public speaking and leadership coach. It's speaking as a spiritual path, much like money, much like relationships. And I've been so curious, you know, in the middle of that yoga teacher training it was not the time for me to say tell me more, can I interview you for an hour? So we're here, today.

Lauri: 2:51

Tell me more about your spiritual puberty.

Nick: 2:55

Yeah, I mean, first of all, I just want to name like how, how much I'm feeling what you just said energetically, emotionally. Yeah, my whole entire body is alive right now and it's actually quite, it's quite overwhelming. I'm almost brought to tears, and part of that is because a large part of my, my mission, has been to authentically be myself and through that trust that that is impacting the world. And it's rare when you get these moments, when you're just being yourself and I was sharing with you my experience with no attachment or expectation, and neither were you and seeing how both of us showing up in our fullness has affected us both and also is affecting the wholeness. It's these moments that are like well, okay, what we're doing is real and we're impacting each other, and maybe more so than we even know. So I'm really really feeling that right now, lori and that's probably 10 years ago that you and I first met to this moment.

Lauri: 3:50

Yeah, yeah, and I'm feeling the same thing, and it's so amazing to have an example of both of us. I'm being me, I'm talking about things that I care about in a yoga teacher training, and so often we're taught that it's something other than being us. We think we have to do something or be something that we're not in order to have an impact in the world, and every once in a while, you get these glimpses of hey, you were being you, the you that feels more like breathing, speaking something that you felt, like you had to say in that moment. And five, seven, 10 years later, maybe, you hear back of the impact that it had. And then, if we multiply that times 100, 1,000, 10,000, that's our impact in the world.

Nick: 4:44

It's these invisible ripples that we will most likely never know the impact of our impact and once, while you're right, one of those ripples comes back, but yeah, you'll never really know how much impact you're having through the ripples you're sending through the world. There are these invisible winds, these invisible powers that you send out just through your being.

Lauri: 5:03

Yeah, yeah.

Nick: 5:05

I forgot the question.

Lauri: 5:08

Tell me more about your spiritual puberty through speaking.

Nick: 5:17

Yeah, so when we first met Lori, I had been teaching yoga for a couple years at that point already, probably like three to four years, and Lori and I shared a teacher, Jean Mazzei, and that's how we met. And so at that point I had been teaching probably three or four years as a yoga teacher I'm probably in my early 30s at that point and I thought I was a really good teacher. That was kind of where I was at that point and after getting around Jean and getting around you and getting around some other teachers, I'm going wow, there's some holes in my game. There are some things that I am not aware of, as is the case with awakening, right, you don't know what you don't know. And from our sessions together and the training we had done with Gene and with you at that point was a lot about stepping into your purpose and stepping into your passion of the world, but also a lot about understanding what you would call your soul suckers, right, these voices that are in the background, running, that we're not necessarily aware of or maybe we are, but we don't realize how prevalent they are. We don't realize how prominent they are. So for me, doing the work with you two really brought up for me how much fear. You know, how much tension was kind of behind the scenes, running behind in the background. You know we may call those samskaras in yoga, these kind of like psychic wounds that we receive as kids and then as we get, as we become adults, what was adaptive and helpful becomes maladaptive and it actually goes against us becoming a vasana. So for me it was really the sense of bringing awareness to the chatter in the background that I wasn't aware of and I wasn't planning on bringing this in so early.

Nick: 6:54

But there's a sense of arrogance that's needed when you're first getting into speaking or you're first getting into teaching, because if you don't have this sense of arrogance, your soul suckers are going to win. That's what I find in my experience. So you've got to have something inside that says I know what I'm talking about and I'm here to make a difference. I believe in myself and for me in my early thirties a lot of what got me up there was arrogance and that was necessary to override those inner critics. But then at some point you start to realize that the arrogance is only going to take you so far and it becomes limiting and it's like what got you here won't necessarily get you there. So, long story short, getting around you, lori, and working on soul suckers, as I started to, you know, go back into the yoga studio and teach more.

Nick: 7:38

I started to hear these soul suckers as I was teaching, you know, and it was this sense of I'm about to say something, you know, that I hadn't said before, because I'm kind of like, almost like I was like budding from a caterpillar to a youillar, to a butterfly. I'm kind of coming out in a spiritual way saying, hey, this is actually who I am, this is actually what I'm about. I haven't been presenting that or sharing that because I was afraid, but now I am and I remember I would start to say these things. Like you know, even something as simple as turn inward and notice how you feel, and I would say that and I shared this with you before, lori is my voice would crack, literally like a, like a boy going through puberty. My voice would and I don't know how many people noticed it, but I sure as hell started to notice it all the time, and it was embarrassing, it was uncomfortable, um, it was creating more anxiety and tension in me and, as I've learned, is the way you go to the other end of things. Is you got to go through these things? You know you can't bypass this and kind of go around it. It was like, okay, well, what's going on? Why is my voice cracking Whenever I say something about soul or I say something about a deeper layer of yoga? What is this?

Nick: 8:53

And for it was about a year or so that I would talk, and in almost every class my voice would crack.

Nick: 8:59

I wouldn't be able to get out my words, I would be fearful of what I was going to say and I just kept doing it.

Nick: 9:05

And this is that spiritual awakening, or spiritual puberty that I was going through at that point, and it's so interesting to talk about now, because now I'm very comfortable expressing myself and being authentic, and that's really one of my main missions right now is to be authentic, whereas Lori would say be raw authentic, which really landed for me when we talk. So those moments of bringing awareness to what was in the background, stepping into it and in front of people you know, 30, 40, 50 people having these moments of just unsureness, you know, and it was a great time looking back, though, as I moved through this and now I've learned to actually talk through those things, and what I'll do is, when I hear that happen, if I say something that doesn't come through and you or Jean might have told me this is, then I repeat it and I make sure I get my point across, and I'll actually do it quite often Like no, this is what I meant.

Nick: 10:00

Say it like say it with your chest, say it with your heart, say with resonance, yeah, so it's actually. It's actually taught me how to be very clear, even when I'm afraid of being clear. So that's kind of the initial waking up processes from the work that we did together really stepping into myself and really then expressing myself. I think those are two different things you kind of knowing who you are and then expressing who you are and then being willing to be judged for who you are. All are different layers to this game of public speaking in any form.

Lauri: 10:31

Yeah, yeah, I talk about public speaking, especially post-pandemic Speaking isn't what we grew up thinking it was. Speaking is being on a podcast like this, speaking is teaching a yoga class, speaking is shooting a TikTok live and speaking is standing on a stage with a little red carpet if that's where we take it. And there's so much in what you've said, the going through. I believe that every time we use our voices, it's an opportunity to both discover and express our soul's purpose. And when you were feeling the crack going through it and then the repeating it, which I think actually I would love to take credit for that, but I think it came from Jean, although I'll steal it from this point forward.

Lauri: 11:21

Who knows I mean sometimes when I'm talking I'm like channeling, and I don't remember repeat it. That hit me really strongly as, oh, that's a really big moment of both going through and discovering and expressing and then strengthening your soul's purpose, because you go through the shaky one and then inhale and strengthen it by saying it again.

Nick: 11:51

It's no different than exercise. Really, when you bring it to that point, it's actually a little easier to then express like, oh, I'm in the gym, I'm doing an exercise for the first time, I'm shaky, I've never done it before, why should I think I'm going to do it well? And then I do it and I fall and I trip, or I'm in a yoga pose and then okay, we'll try again. And then you find the next time your body. Oh, okay, I kind of get it and it gets better. I don't know if we're necessarily going from zero to a hundred, but we're ten percent, we're 20, 30 better. And then you go wow, how people go. How do you speak so well? It's like well, I've been practicing this for over a decade.

Lauri: 12:23

Yeah, you get good at those things that you push yourself to do and practice consciously yeah, and speaking is a vulnerable and a courageous thing to do when we're letting the soul suckers fade back and choosing to speak those things that we chose when we were younger, that protected us and kept us safe and for a lot of us that was absolutely the right thing to do at the time and then they become like muscle memory.

Lauri: 13:04

Yeah just like if I'm lifting a weight or doing a yoga pose with form, where I might actually hurt myself, and then I learn how to shift it. Now I'm working new muscles and they do get 10% stronger 10% stronger each time, and I also feel like I remember when you said this five years ago that to me it felt like the soul is rising up and attempting to communicate through your instrument and all of the inner critics are kind of pulling back on the throat and going, no, don't say that. It in itself is less traumatizing for most people than if you just try to open it up and let it fully ring out. Sometimes it really does take that time for all of the other parts of us to get on board with the new us, the new old coming home to ourselves, us that is emerging.

Nick: 14:11

Yeah, and that's a lot of that is, you're right. There's this soul that wants to come through and come forward and express, and then there's these parts of your personality, or these caricatures, that are nervous or scared or neurotic or protective. And they've been there because, well, we put them there, or our parents put them there for us out of love, and they become these protective things. And it's interesting, you bring that up.

Nick: 14:31

Something I've been working on quite deeply this whole year has been the saying of release the protector, and what I found is and maybe actually what we're talking about is this kind of this original form of it. What I expressed with you is I almost have this fascia, like this layer of, like emotional fascia that protects me and I'll feel it kind of shut me down and notice my hands over my heart and then when I go to do things or say things that are vulnerable or authentic, it it wants to protect me, it wants to keep those inside. So I've been consciously working with this mantra release the protector. You know, release the protector, and it's it's releasing and it's there because it loves me, it's doing its job, but then this is the part of the consciousness of going hey, that was working, but it's no longer working.

Nick: 15:18

it's actually creating pain and emotional pain now, and I would like you to lessen yeah um, and eventually I'd like you to leave and then and you know what and if I need you, I'll call you back in, because there's going to be a time when I do need you and it's going to be appropriate to protect myself. But in general, I want to be more authentic. So, releasing the protector. You're totally right. It's like there's a confidence piece here. You got to have confidence inside, maybe in third chakra, and it starts to go up into your heart of how you want to live. But then, yeah, the last piece is getting it out. You're totally right, and it's these, all these things. Don't say that You're going to get judged, people don't know that version of you, or they're not going to like that version of you, and it's like, yes, that's okay, I'm willing to lean into that.

Lauri: 15:58

Yeah, and the truth is, some of the people are not going to like that version of you.

Nick: 16:04

Totally Yep.

Lauri: 16:05

And our protector parts over. Amplify, they turn it into. No one will like me if I say this thing. Amplify, they turn it into. No one will like me if I say this thing.

Lauri: 16:17

Rather than Nick is a yoga teacher whose class actually, I don't think I've ever gotten to go to. I would be drawn to go to Nick's classes. There are other yoga teachers out there where I've gone and I've been like that was a great class technically, whatever, and I'm not vibing with this person. That's how I was drawn to Jean. That is why I chose Jean as my yoga teacher, Very intuitively, and so glad I did, because I've only taken one yoga teacher training and I got like deeper, I got the whole picture I didn't just get.

Lauri: 18:07

This is how you put a sequence together and for me that's what I am drawn to. There are probably people out there who are not drawn to Jean. She's not their person and our protectors want us to just stop feeling any kind of hurt that they think we're going to feel. So they say no one will like you if you do that risky thing Instead of somebody somewhere is not going to vibe with you when you really come from your soul. And yet the people that you are here to impact in this lifetime are going to be more drawn to you because the signal that's coming out of you doesn't have all the performing static.

Nick: 18:56

So interesting. That's. Another mantra that I'm working on is stop performing. And there's this saying that I've been working through myself and it's about masks, right, and it's interesting. It's like well, people might not be resonating with me because they're not actually resonating with my true self. So it is I'd rather you not like me for who I am than like me for who I think you want me to be. And it's like. How do you know if you like me if I'm not being authentic in myself? You might like me way more or way less, who knows?

Nick: 19:27

but I'm not even giving you or myself a chance if I'm showing up in an inauthentic way and you may be surprised like very surprised how many people actually resonate with you and how few people don't. An example is I've recently stopped drinking and I've been a big drinker for the last 20 years of my life and I've noticed it's people that are close to me don't like it, and I haven't heard many people say good for you, man.

Lauri: 19:54

I'm proud of you.

Nick: 19:55

I've actually heard the opposite of what are you gonna do? What about Thanksgiving? What about Christmas? What about New Year's? Like, what about all these things we do together? It's like, well, that doesn't feel authentic to me and I'm willing to speak up and share it, and I'm also willing to have people not like it. And maybe some friends stop hanging out with me and vice versa, and that's okay, because my soul wants to express itself differently in this moment. And all these little things are ways we practice.

Lauri: 20:21

Yeah, well, I want to say good for you, congratulations. How long has it been?

Nick: 20:27

Since about over a month or so, and the plan is to go another two or three months and from there kind of make a decision. But yeah, it's like it's something I've wanted to do for a long time and it's I've had a touch and go relationship with it. It's like wow more energy, more confidence, more health.

Lauri: 20:43

Dr Anneke.

Nick: 20:44

Vandenbroek. Yeah, very awesome, very awesome.

Lauri: 20:47

You brought up the masks. I don't know if you took. I have a quiz on my website. Okay, I'll go ahead and say what the masks are and then you say which one or two or combinations feel like the ones that you use the most.

Lauri: 21:14

Have spent a lot of time releasing my numberaser and the Porcelain Doll and while Nick is pondering, I'll share a little bit for people listening.

Lauri: 21:37

The masks are not the real us.

Lauri: 21:39

It is not one of those personality typing quizzes, which is why it took me 13 of my, or 14 of nearly 16 years running this business to come up with a quiz, because I kept trying to do a personality typing quiz while saying there are 8 billion people on the planet with 8 billion different voices, 8 billion different types of presence.

Lauri: 22:04

And then one day I had an aha, let's type the things that are getting in the way, instead of let us be as unique as a fingerprint and we, a lot of times what we're doing is we're taking one aspect of our personality that people have accepted, that they have rewarded us for, that might have protected us in the past, and we're sort of only using that and over time, just like carpal tunnel might happen in my wrist if I mouse and I don't stretch it out and do other things with my hand, it becomes sort of more hardened where we almost no longer have a choice, particularly if we get in front of a green camera light or on a stage. Particularly if we get in front of a green camera light or on a stage, my deranged mannequin is like passion plus a whole lot of extra work, because a part of me in the background doesn't believe I'm enough without only passion all the time.

Nick: 23:07

Yeah, you know, for me I feel like it's this maybe the heady hipster no-transcript, so that one for me really, really lands.

Nick: 23:40

And then I'm wondering Laurie, my soul sucker, for the most part says it's an achiever-based soul sucker. I think that's kind of. If I were to look at my Enneagram, that's probably where I live. More so is that the achiever, um, and a lot of my self-worth derives from from that. And my soul sucker will say to me no one cares about what you have to say, hurry up, hurry up and get it out, um. So I'm wondering, based off those, what do those track with?

Lauri: 24:17

No one cares what you have to say is what I call the deepest, meanest soul sucker it's. I call it the below the belt bastards. And sometimes what can happen with the achieving and the overwork and I have this too with the deranged mannequin is I reached a point where I believed the mission that I was up to was important, but I wasn't enough. I actually had an aha where I realized that I thought I had this huge task that my soul had been sent here to do and that I was not enough to do it. But the mission was so important that if I worked harder I could achieve it. And I have a feeling that there might be a bit of that for you.

Lauri: 25:03

No one cares what you have to say, but there's this really important thing that needs to get done and that can trace from our soul's purpose to a corporate job. It can show up in every corner of our lives one voice saying you're not enough, no one cares, and then the protectors going so work harder because this thing needs to get done. How does that resonate with your life experience?

Nick: 25:31

Yeah, for sure, For sure. And as a Gemini, there's these kind of two aspects of myself that are you know, feeling turmoil sometimes.

Nick: 25:37

And, yeah, this piece of like, wow, I'm here for this big mission, I don't know if I can pull it off. And then the other part of me is going well, that's what you're here to do, so go do it and figure it out. So yeah, there's this inner tension of you know, you're not enough, you need to prove it. And well, you are enough and you can just be yourself and that'll work. And so those two kind of battle each other inside. So, yeah, those are all very, very alive.

Nick: 26:01

And what I land on is like, wow, here's this voice that's saying no one cares what you have to say about I'm on podcasts, I do public speaking, I have a studio where there's hundreds of members and they come to workshops and there'll be a room full of people and this voice is going no one cares what you have to say. And I have to pause and go. Well, reality isn't showing you that. Reality is showing you the opposite. So who's right? And what I've learned to do is much like grief. At first, that soul sucker was really big and kind of on me all the time, and over time it's really shrunk, it's really gotten a lot smaller and it doesn't take up as much space, and sometimes it doesn't take space at all.

Nick: 26:42

And then you know, if I'm down or if I'm low in energy, um, I'll bump into it. And then it'll start kind of like a bowl in the china shop. It'll start messing stuff up, but I've learned to have a relationship with it. And then it'll start kind of like a bowl in the China shop. It'll start messing stuff up, but I've learned to have a relationship with it and talk to it and say, hey, like, is this true?

Lauri: 26:57

Yeah.

Nick: 26:57

Because, like, there's people in the room that are here, like, is this true and it goes well? Maybe you know, maybe 90%, it's true, like, okay, how true is it that no one cares what you have to say? It goes, I don't know, maybe 50%.

Nick: 27:14

And then I'm just looking for a chink in the armor to kind of get in there and go well maybe it's not true, or maybe it's just a little true, and also I've learned that it really helps me become a better teacher because I tend to over-prepare and find the best teachers and get myself around people that are really in higher levels in the stratospheres than I am, um.

Nick: 27:28

So as a result, it's made me a really good student and as a result, made me a good public speaker, and it's like, oh thanks, buddy, like you're driving me to be successful and I'm not mad at you anymore. I'm actually appreciative that you've done this for me. So yeah, on the same team at the end of the day, as I guess what I'm saying and that's important from love and compassion yeah, and part of what I hear in that is that it's like the soul is the boss.

Lauri: 27:52

If you were a company, the soul is the CEO, and the protectors and the inner critics and all those other parts work for the soul. They don't make the decisions at times.

Lauri: 29:22

You know we have a part of us, the protector. Its job is to scan for danger. We don't necessarily to make the decisions that we make in our lives based solely on a potential danger that could happen in the future. The other thing that I'm hearing and what you're saying 10 years ago I wrote a book and I named the soul suckers and I was leading a class with a group of people and I said there's a kernel of truth. To all of the soul suckers messages, except for that last one and one of the participants, I said you are worthy, People care what you have to say, something like that. And this woman in the class said I beg to differ and I also have a theater background and you're trained to. Yes, and even though all of my soul suckers in that moment were like, oh my God, this book is shit, you cannot release it. And I said tell me more. And she said well, it's saying no one cares. And she said well, it's saying no one cares.

Lauri: 30:19

The kernel of truth is that somebody, somewhere, doesn't or didn't care what you have to say. And I was so thankful that she said that, because that is the truth. They're born perhaps because someone in our past when we would run in excited and say, look at the grades that I got in school, didn't care, didn't respond and, like we were talking about earlier, I can be speaking and somebody can be looking at me like I don't understand the words coming out of her mouth. I just want you to tell me how to organize my slides to be taken more seriously in my office. They don't care right now. That's.

Lauri: 31:05

The other piece is, they don't care in this moment. And in two years, all of a sudden, they might remember me and be ready and come back and care. And there are usually at least 30% of people in the room that do care. They came to the room that you're in because they want what you're there to do, and there might be 30% who are neutral and there might be 30% who got dragged to a room that you're speaking in who are really resistant, not on your wavelength. Hey, my partner brought brought me here. I would not be here if it weren't for that yeah, but that's the fun part of it too.

Nick: 31:47

It's like you know you're in there and there's really a big piece of a willingness to be judged.

Nick: 31:53

I think that's really, really important, and it's not something that I see talked about very much is when you get in front of a group, no matter how large or how small, you've got to be willing to be judged in order to speak your truth and share. Because what I found is when I'm not willing to be judged, that's when I don't speak what's important and I don't say what matters, or I hold back, and in that holding back, I may be affecting the people in the room by not giving them the whole picture or not allowing them to hear something for the first time, and they go. I don't agree with that at all. And then they can catch themselves in judgment and then they can learn and grow through that. It's so powerful to speak your truth and say here's what I have to say and then lay it at the feet of the gods and go. Now, it's not my work to do it for them. Here's a teaching you know non judgment.

Nick: 32:38

We've, you've seen these, these talks. You talk about non judgment and people in the room are gonna freak out. Yeah because it's not. It's not 90% non judgment, it's not 99% non judgment, it's 100% non judgment. And someone in the room always goes Well, what about Hitler? Or what about reproductive rights? And you go. We're talking from a conscious lens, we talking about non-judgment. That's the teaching. It's not my teaching, it's not your teaching, it's it's the teaching.

Nick: 33:05

And someone in the room's gonna have a meltdown and get angry and yell and maybe leave, and you got to sit there and go. That was perfect yeah that was perfect for them, for me, for everybody. We're all here to learn and grow and it may get messy and it may not be fun, but if you're not, if you're not up for that, then maybe you shouldn't be on a stage, because that's part of the gig yeah, yeah, I, there was so much in that.

Lauri: 33:27

that is what spiritual fire looks like. Spiritual growth, transformation, often looks fiery for at least one person in the room. Sometimes it it doesn't. Sometimes it's like somebody goes cold and quiet and very internal and they're in their spiritual process. But odds are, if you're in a room where there's other humans, somebody's going to feel fiery when something is transforming. Years ago, I walked into a yoga class after having taught an all day workshop the day before, where the fire turned for someone who had been in the room turned into one of those emails that's like pages and pages long and I care. So I read the pages and pages and pages and pages. And then I went to my 9 am on a Saturday yoga class. Oh no, it was Sunday and I walked in and I sat on the mat and the yoga teacher knew I had had this event and came over and asked me how it went. And I burst into tears on the yoga mat and I started saying I I'm sorry.

Lauri: 34:35

I just read this email and he paused and said well, given what you do, that's to be expected good teacher looks like you're in a good place now.

Lauri: 34:47

Yeah, you know, thank god, you read it right before this and I went. You're right, and the yoga class was one of those. I'm crying for the first 45 minutes and then in the second 45 minutes, I'm in a state of bliss and, yes, that person is doing them, they're having their transformation, they're in the fire and they it's like what it it actually felt like afterwards was help out to the world yeah and that grows you as a teacher and a speaker and it's really I think it's really important to have these moments.

Nick: 35:23

I'm thinking of one when I was leading yoga trainings at yoga garden. This is almost 10 years ago now and I was probably I probably shouldn't have been teaching teachers at that point. I was probably a little ahead of my game, but somehow wiggled my way in there. All perfect, but they had me teaching the business of yoga, which is a very fiery topic.

Nick: 35:40

It can be yeah and there was this conversation in the room where a bunch of students had said affluent people don't deserve yoga, in the same way that you know, poor people do. And I would just said if you believe that there's a hierarchy to who, who should be taught yoga and who can pay for it, who can't, then you shouldn't be in this room, you should get out of the room. And it was like one of the most fiery things I've ever said and I and I might even even like slap the floor because I was so in this moment of like fire of if you've got major judgments around who should be receiving yoga, you should not be teaching yoga like you got to go clear that first and it didn't go over well.

Nick: 36:19

And again I'm, this is 10 years ago, I wouldn't have said it the same way now. And the next day I get a call from gene to call and you know we had a 30 minute, 45 minute phone call. She goes hey, we need to talk about what happened because it was not received well and I got a lot of complaints about you and I always appreciated Jean not yelling at me or not firing me in that moment. And she said, hey, what you said may have been right, but the way you said it was not and it wasn't well received. But it was such a great moment of oh, my arrogance was out of control. My ego was out of control. I meant what I said, but the way in which I said it was not the appropriate way and it was not received.

Nick: 36:56

So I got to learn, they got to learn, jean got to learn, we all got to learn and grow. And I look back at that moment of wow, that was a great learning moment. And I remember a couple of students in the room being like, yeah, that's it, and there's your example. A couple of people love it, a couple of people hate it, a couple people or whatever. Yeah, um, but I'm seeing that moment very clearly in my mind of, yeah, I got too fiery and I learned from it and I got judged.

Lauri: 37:23

I judged myself, yeah, and you were judging them yeah, there was judgment everywhere.

Lauri: 37:28

Yeah, yeah, and it's hard because when others are in judgment and they're fiery and there's a bit of launching it at us especially if you're the one sitting at the front of the room, there's a whole lot of energy coming at you. So if anybody else listening has ever gotten fiery and slammed a desk or something like that, it's not about being perfect. It's about being on the journey and recognizing and transforming ourselves and the way Jean let you keep your job and said, hey, we need to talk about it.

Lauri: 38:02

It's highlighting. It's not just what you say, it's also how you say it, and I'm also finding myself wondering what else happened. I have a cold, and there's probably a spiritual reason. This is happening right now.

Nick: 38:22

Yeah, totally.

Lauri: 38:23

You went through spiritual puberty. Then there's this moment Kind of paint a picture of what is life like now and where are you on your spiritual speaking journey now.

Nick: 38:39

Yeah, and well, it's interesting and I didn't track that before. Those are all around the same time by the way.

Nick: 38:45

So there's this, something I share with people quite often. This could be around speaking. It could be around standing up for yourself or setting boundaries. It's you know, if center is in the middle and I have my hand up in the middle and let's say to the left is not enough and to the right is too much, well, most of us tend to hang on one side of the spectrum. So for me, I was in this space of I'm not speaking up enough, I'm not speaking my truth, I'm holding back.

Nick: 39:11

And I think it's important to sometimes try to overshoot center line, because if our tendency is always to hold back, then even when we try to speak up, we will probably still be on the safe side. Inversely, if you're an, a personality and you're fiery and you're always on the kind of you're too much side, if you try to calm down a little, you're probably still going to be fiery and kind of too much. So that, for me, was a moment of finding balance and I overshot balance. But then the beauty of overshooting balance is you get feedback oh, that was too much, that was too hot. I wasn't in a space where I could take criticism then or take people disagreeing with me. So it's really cool to track that those are both happening at the same time.

Nick: 39:53

I'm speaking up for myself for the first time, and then I start speaking up too much, I start taking up too much space and then learning to move with that. So for me, the last 10 years since then has been about really presenting a message that is nonjudgmental and that doesn't have a right or wrong stance. That's been a big challenge to do, because it can be much easier to take a side, at least if I say you can even bring it to politics. If I say I'm democratic, then I know that everyone on the left side is kind of with me and they've got my back and there's someone for me to fight against, which let's just say the Republicans. To be in the middle means I've got material coming at me from all different directions. And then you may find and I find this that people then get mad at me for not having a judgment, or not having a stance and going hey, I understand both sides I see all this.

Nick: 40:49

So for me it's been a lot of speaking around non-judgment, present moment, non-attachment and really from a neutral lens, which is funny to say, but it can be quite polarizing to stay in that space. And then what I've learned is to speak from that space and be willing to have attacks or have energy come at me in those spaces and go this is perfect. Neutral line, center line, is what I'm striving for. It may not be right for someone else but, for me that's what feels right.

Nick: 41:19

So it's been this center line approach to life which bleeds out into one how I work with myself. You know, coaching myself in a gentle way, but never getting so mad at myself or talking down on myself. That would be a way that I internally work this process. And then you know, taking that into relationship with my wife and trying to trying to not be right or make her wrong or vice versa, which is really really challenging. If you're in a relationship, you know that it's like so then it shows up there and then as a business, as a business leader, um, having having integrity at the core of what we do, having empowerment at the core of what we do, having continuous Improvement at the core of what we do, and then trying to take that message and then market a, a Wellness business, from a neutral space, um, and really doing a lot of, a lot of conscious work around that of what are we putting out there? What's the message we're sending? So to me it all kind of comes from the center point line of living in integrity and authenticity and then trying my best to do that in all aspects of my life, and that is it's really challenging.

Nick: 42:32

I guess what I'm talking about is learning how to take these internal teachings and then live them in the world, and then speak them in the world and then show up in a way where what you're saying is true to you and you're going to find people that resonate. And I think, at the end of the day, if you can find the things you're passionate about, if you can find something you're connected to as a purpose, that can lead to living a life of prosperity. So it's passion, purpose and prosperity and all of those can live together. It's like the sweet spot, and I think there's a narrative out there that says you can't have your cake and eat it too. So maybe, long story short, I think that's really what I've been trying to present is you can have your cake and eat it too, you can have a connection to a spiritual purpose and you can be prosperous in this physical world and all of those can live together. And really I'm just talking about tantra now.

Nick: 43:24

At the end of the day, yeah but you can bring your spiritual and physical life into oneness, yeah, and then you can express that in any way. That's right for you, and that, to me, is what really makes me feel alive as a teacher and a leader is presenting that of hey, I do it my own way and it works for me. If you like some of the things I'm going to do, great. If you don't, cool. Yeah, what about you? What's your canvas?

Lauri: 43:47

Let's paint it the kind of young egoic confidence through puberty. And when you were in the young egoic confidence it feels like you thought you had all the right answers, or this part of you that was like I know was in charge, and then you went through the puberty and where you've gotten to now is someone who can live in the questions and be with other people processing and you might ask people great questions and hold the space and live in those questions rather than feeling like you need to get into.

Lauri: 44:30

I know the answers. No, I know the answers.

Nick: 44:33

Yep, you need to get into. I know the answers. No, I know the answers. Yep, and it's really. I really appreciate you tracking that, reflecting that, because what I've actually landed on and you're right going from a young ego teacher who thought he had it all figured out and realizing I don't and I probably never will, and that's perfect, and to go into a space of much less ego and being more humble not no ego at all yeah.

Nick: 44:53

I, I'm actually at a space right now where I don't know what I teach. So it's actually a little hard for me to answer your question, because I it's like I no longer have a shtick, um, I no longer have a system that I teach or coach and, as a result, I don't know what I'm teaching right now. Um, and it really it really comes down to what's up in the present moment and that's what comes through. And it's kind of destabilizing, to be honest, to get in the space of I don't have an agenda, I don't have a teaching. What do you need? That's what we'll work through. And now it's like well, who am I if I'm not this teacher that knows everything? It's like, well, you're being sent here to help serve, so get on board with that buddy.

Nick: 45:37

Get on board with that buddy, because that's not going to look like anything you thought. So I'm really in this free-flowing state of presence and you're right, I really appreciate that reflection of the journey, of kind of where I was through puberty and then afterwards. And then knowing that will change too.

Lauri: 45:55

Yeah, the constant is change and all of the things. Since I was like 19 years old, I would tell people that all of my favorite things were the things that you kept growing and transforming and improving at until you pass away or stop doing them. Like yoga. My yoga practice keeps getting deeper and deeper and deeper as I'm the one on the mat Acting theater. You keep getting better and better and better until you die or stop doing it. And then, at some point along the way, I realized that life was actually one of those things. We're here to grow and transform and come home to ourselves in every nook and cranny of our lives until all of a sudden we're complete for this trip or whatever you believe. At some point we're done and we leave, and shortly before we leave, maybe that last breath. We're done growing in this lifetime.

Nick: 46:59

And don't waste that last breath. Do not waste that last breath. Don't get to the end of your life and feel like it was wasted and it wasn't worth it, and then don't waste any breath in between now and then. Every inhale, every exhale is a time, is a moment in between time.

Lauri: 47:14

Yeah.

Nick: 47:14

Okay, and maybe I didn't like what I said on this podcast. I can feel some of myself judging that Good, breathe into it, move on, come back to presence. Yeah, express what you feel and don't waste your last breath, don't waste any of your breaths. And some of that comes through speaking right, speaking right, like, say what you mean, yeah, yeah, and express yourself. I just I love speaking, because I don't consider myself to be very creative person in a, in a, like an art form. I can't do things with my hands very well, but creativity for me seems to come through business and through teaching and speaking. It's like, wow, what a great tool to express and get better at. And it's just making me realize I don't want to waste my breaths, I don't want to waste my words, I want them to matter.

Nick: 47:57

And the work you do. Laurie really has helped with that tremendously, and I've seen it help some teachers that work for me as well, and I'm sure it's helped you tremendously at the same time.

Lauri: 48:06

Yeah, yeah, Ooh you gave me chills in part of that and I totally like went off into the chills. I do want to ask this will be in the show notes and I always ask can you verbally say for the people who are driving a car, for the people who are vibing with you and want to connect with you and possibly work with you, where can they find you?

Nick: 48:30

Yeah, my website's great Nick Palladino dot co. Or on Instagram. Instagram nickpaladinoking is where I'm at. Someone else nickpaladino has the websitecom. They don't use it, so I had to settle with co, so yeah that's the easiest way to find me. I've got my podcast on there too, on Instagram as well.

Lauri: 48:48

Wonderful. And now I'm going to do our Pivo pivot and do these lightning round of questions inspired by Bernard Pivo and James Lipton. On Inside the Actor's Studio.

Nick: 49:01

Cool.

Lauri: 49:02

What is your favorite word?

Nick: 49:06

What's my favorite word Can.

Lauri: 49:24

What is your?

Nick: 49:27

least favorite word can't what turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? A sense of connection um to yeah.

Lauri: 49:35

What turns you off?

Nick: 49:38

Feeling restricted, feeling that I'm not in a state of empowerment.

Lauri: 49:47

What's your favorite curse word?

Nick: 49:50

Fuck.

Lauri: 49:53

What sound or noise do you love?

Nick: 49:55

What do I love? I love, I kind of love when my dog sneezes.

Lauri: 50:05

What sound or noise do you hate?

Nick: 50:11

Oh, I have. I have tinnitus. I do not like that at all. It's constantly ringing in my ears. I would say that's up there.

Lauri: 50:19

What profession other than yours would be fun to try?

Nick: 50:24

A bartender.

Lauri: 50:28

What profession would you not like to try?

Nick: 50:31

Being an attorney.

Lauri: 50:35

What do you hope people say about you on your 100th birthday?

Nick: 50:42

I hope they say that I was a person that lived in his truth and, as a result, impacted everyone that he met.

Lauri: 50:54

Well, you've absolutely impacted me ever since I met you. Thank you so much for being a guest here today.

Nick: 51:01

Likewise. Thanks so much, laura, I really appreciate it.