Dare to Be Seen: How Intimacy Fuels Great Speaking (mini-sode)

In this mini-episode, Lauri dives into the often-overlooked secret to great speaking: intimacy. Whether talking to one person or 10,000, the most charismatic speakers create an undeniable presence through deeply authentic connection. Lauri shares a pivotal acting class moment that transformed her approach to speaking, and offers practical insights on how vulnerability and courage can unlock your unique charisma.

TAKEAWAYS
1. Presence Requires Intimacy: True charisma comes from allowing yourself to be seen while deeply connecting with your audience.

2. Vulnerability Fuels Connection: Choosing to let down your armor creates a sacred space for mutual understanding and trust.

3. Practice Authenticity: Your one-in-eight-billion presence emerges when you let down your guard and show up fully as yourself.

Story Magic
A Soulful Speaking Playshop for loving rebels on a soul-driven mission.

Join me for Story Magic — a live, interactive Soulful Speaking Playshop where you’ll learn powerful secrets from the ancient art of theatre for telling engaging, dynamic stories.

Chapters

• 1:11 The Heart of Presence: What makes charismatic speakers magnetic.
• 2:28 An Acting Class Lesson: Lauri’s personal story about releasing armor and being seen.
• 4:34 The Courage to Surrender: How vulnerability and connection shape charisma.
• 5:46 Intimacy isn’t One-Size-Fits-All: Embrace your unique flavor of connection.
• 6:39 Try it Out: Connect intimately with your audience and reflect on the shift.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:08

Today's topic is intimacy. Great speaking is intimate, and I mean great speaking is intimate even if there are 10,000 people in the audience. We don't think of it that way, and yet some of us are mystified about why some people have presence, aka charisma, and others don't. This is part of the answer. The great speakers are actually connected in a deeply intimate way, even if there are 10,000 people watching and listening to them. As humans, we crave connection, intimate, deep connection, and the possibility of being rejected scares the shit out of us. So we try to find hacks, we try to find shortcuts, we try to duck under or go around or put a toe in the pool of connection, as if we're saying you go first. Choosing to be seen, to step first into intimacy is the doorway to presence.

Speaker 1: 2:29

In our very first episode, I shared the story of an exercise in my acting class. I'm going to bring it up again now. I was doing an exercise by myself instead of having other people up there with me, and I kept putting on that. I'm fine face with the jaw tension and the armor in front of the heart. Fine face with the jaw tension and the armor in front of the heart, my heart. And Richard, my teacher stopped the exercise and said stop doing that. And I said I'm not that comfortable having everyone's eyes on me. And he said then you've picked a strange set of careers for yourself. And he said then you've picked a strange set of careers for yourself. Part of you wants this. Part of you knows you're meant to be here and he hit a chord. He struck a chord in my heart and soul and I knew he was right and he held an incredibly safe sacred space. So I made a choice Heart open, I released the armor in front of my heart, I released the tension in my jaw and the pursing of my lips. I went all in. I chose to allow the room to really see me, to know exactly what was going on for me in that moment. And when I was done, after feeling decades of fire and ice and protection and armor and trying to fit in and doing it the way I thought I needed to, after choosing to allow all of that to melt away, I looked out at my classmates and I could see and feel what kind of a day every single one of them was having being seen.

Speaker 1: 4:35

Being intimate begins with a choice like that one that I made. It's vulnerable, it's risky. We feel utterly powerless right as we're putting ourselves out there, and it's a surrender and it's courageous. It's a surrender and it's courageous. So in order to do that, as speakers who want that great intimate connection when we're speaking, even if there are 10,000 people there, we need to practice doing it that way. We need to choose to allow that crowd of people in to really see our hearts and feel our souls. We need to be present in our own bodies while connecting with them so that we're seeing them and feeling their hearts. That is what helps unleash our one in eight billion presence, our charisma. That is what the charismatic speakers have that we can't take our eyes off of. It's not that we need to pretend to be like them.

Speaker 1: 5:54

This kind of intimate connection comes in a lot of different flavors and shapes and sizes and forms. It looks different and feels different on each of the 8 billion people on this planet. Sometimes it's somewhat still and quiet and other times that intimate speaker is jumping up and down on tables and getting the whole entire audience to dance. The thing that those two radically different experiences have is the interchange I'm seeing you and feeling you which helps you feel seen and heard and understood and I'm allowing you to see and feel me, which also helps you to feel safe, as you're feeling seen and heard and understood. So the next time you speak, try it out, allow the crowd in to really see you and take the time to see and feel and listen to them, and then let me know how that feels different.