Speaking Naked, Living Radiant (Part 2)

What if the tears we fear are actually the doorway to our deepest power?

In Part 2 of this flipped conversation, Evelyne Brink invites Lauri to share how letting herself be seen — trembling, raw, and alive — transformed not just her theater work but her life’s calling. Together they explore the sacred edge between control and surrender, why speaking through tears can open hearts, and how true transformation comes when we allow our full aliveness to shine.

Takeaways:

1. Lessons from the ancient art of theatre serve leaders, not just actors.
2. Speaking through tears, energy, and sensation can open doors that logic alone cannot.
3. Transformation requires energy and presence, not just information.
4. Emotional fluidity — surfing the edge of feeling without being consumed — makes communication magnetic.
5. True visibility isn’t about performance, but about letting our full aliveness shine.

Soul Sucker Quiz

Take the Soul Sucker Quiz to learn which Soul Sucker screams the loudest in your mind so you can release them from being in charge and set your voice free!

https://voice-matters.com/soul-sucker-quiz/

Transcript

Our many inner parts

Evelyne 0:32

There's something I want to pick up on for our valued listeners and viewers, and that's the understanding that we have different parts, that we're different people in one body. I wish I had known that sooner, because when we are young and we are in our formative years, and maybe sometimes even if you're older, there's an expectation that you know, know thyself, know who you are, who are you, what do you want? I have to do an American accent for that.

Lauri 1:02

What do you want? Like really.

Evelyne 1:04

What do you really want? And the truth is you have different, sometimes often conflicting, parts. So even a Laurie Smith born to act will find out. She doesn't like all eyes on her, and and then we could go. Fair enough, she's already said she's sensitive and shy, so it makes sense that that version of her comes out. I can attest that I have the same thing. Miss. I love attention. Put me in the center of attention. That's my personal home, that's where I feel safe. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, until you put me on the spot and I have insecurities and I don't get to show you how great I am. But I'm actually suddenly confronted with, uh, exactly the, the, whatever it is right, either the emotion or the not knowing. Oh, my gosh, feeling stupid, are you serious? Awful, any of these things? And suddenly Evelyn does not like the eyes on her. I have been hiding like crazy, especially when it comes to my music, because that's such a naked, intimate thing to be doing.

Evelyne 2:13

I write music and a lot of my songs are downloaded from. I call it spirit, you can call it whatever you want, but they just came through me so therefore, I didn't want to touch them, I didn't want to make them into something else. They've been given to me like this that's what they are, and then they're not hits, and then I'm ashamed they're not hits, and complications can come in when we are different parts and no, we don't know that. That's okay. So I think this I want to pick up on this for everyone it's normal and it's wonderful when you hit that, that understanding, yeah, and then even more magical when you're with a person who can give you the space, like your teacher did, to find that union and that that union that hey, like you've done now described.

Evelyne 3:01

We can be everything, we can be at peace with everything.

Lauri 3:05

Yeah, All of the parts can be there and someone within the past few weeks pointed out it's a very American thing to like. I'm going to stop doing what I'm doing to comfort my inner child which is very different from like something's happening.

From acting to coaching

Lauri 3:23

My inner child is possibly having a freak out and I and the other parts of me that I'm aware of are going to comfort the inner child while continuing forward. If that's what we really want and I was like, because I think I had this impression that, like you're supposed to stop and go comfort the inner child and then everything has union instead of how you might reach the union is to let all the parts be there and be aware- that one part of you is going I've got this and another is going, but I just want to cry in the middle of it.

Evelyne 4:01

That's amazing. So my question I'm thinking about if I was someone watching this or listening to this. I'm like, wow, these two are very passionate about acting, but they sell coaching. What the hell? And maybe that's why, and who knows, tell me, why are you coaching now? Why are you not just acting woman?

Lauri 4:22

Um, I do it all. Um, so I'm still acting, uh, still directing plays Absolutely love it. And I had this. It's like I had another calling emerge.

Lauri 4:37

I was teaching acting and voice for actors after I went to grad school and one year was a disaster because I was trying to teach like my teachers and then I discovered coaching. A student came up to me and said you're different. The way you do it when you're trusting yourself is less professorial style and more coaching style. You evoke what's in us, you look like you're reading people's minds, but when you don't trust it, it's really not working for you. Nice Beautiful Led me to a coaching class.

Lauri 5:11

I come back a year later and I'm doing it, I'm building my way, I'm blending like my way, and the year before had been like we were dropped into the middle of the set of mean girls and then we had to repeat because of budget cuts, with a class that was twice as big. So I'm teaching 38 people and some of them are the repeats from the mean Girls experience and I'm doing it a different way. And by the time they were warming up for their final scenes that year, everybody was vibrant and alive from head to toe and they hadn't even started acting yet and I was sitting in the corner with tears streaming down my face and I heard this voice from within me. One voice said I want more, more of this. And another voice said this shouldn't just be for actors anymore. And I, you know, I've changed the name of like.

Speaking is acting ‘naked’ — stripping away masks

Lauri 6:13

Who is it I'm working with? It's people who want to change the world and make it better, and they tend to be people who are sensitive. They don't fit that mainstream. I really want to like, blow up all the industrial speaking boxes and bring more of like what Richard Side, my teacher, was bringing to me to help evoke the most powerful, agile, creative, trusting myself actor that I could be to the leaders who are changing the world, because speaking and acting are so similar. So I have both. I spend almost, you know, I spend my time acting and coaching people to come alive themselves when they're speaking, because they're so similar. And then time with my husband and walks in nature and yoga, and that's like my dream life and has the feeling of rightness Like. This is what I'm here to do.

Evelyne 7:18

I love it, I get it. And the question that I'm asking, that context, I'm going to ping over to you. You just said acting and speaking are so similar. But wait a minute, me, as a business leader, as a passionate, soul led, heart led-led, purpose-led, wonderful, real business, I don't want to act. No, no, no, no. This is not pretending to be someone else, Laurie, I need to be me. So what are you talking about? Acting and speaking are the same. One is you're pretending to be someone else here. I'm not pretending, I want to be more me. How on earth is that the same and connected?

Lauri 7:53

Yeah, so in order to be an actor who is really acting and not just standing up there and being themselves, we have to actually get emotionally and kind of energetically naked. So the metaphor that I love for this is like if I, laurie, want to go play the Queen of England, if I show up in my t-shirt, with my California hoodie, and then we try to put the crown on and the outfit of the Queen, it's going to be confusing for people, it's not going to read as that character. So I strip naked and then I put the queen on For speakers. They're emotionally and energetically doing the like strip naked from everything that society told you you should be, or the hand gestures and the outfits that they told you were good speaking, and then actually speak from the nakedness that is your full self.

Lauri 9:05

So I've got quizzes with masks and things like that and it's like my porcelain doll mask was created by me, almost like a repetitive stress injury. I was only showing people this silent good girl who goes along and then it got like hardened and hardened, and hardened until all of a sudden now it's like a repetitive stress injury and I'm stuck and I feel like that's all I can do For speakers. It's letting go of like if somebody told you you can only show the world your intelligence and you want to give a TED Talk that goes viral. You're not, not intelligent. It's letting the only repetitive stress injury of that go, being more emotionally naked and then connecting with the people in the room that day and letting your full self be the one who's speaking to them.

Evelyne 11:03

To me that sounds like heaven. You are really good at articulating that. Thank you, Thank you. Really great articulation and I'm wondering do people get scared of you?

Lauri 11:19

I believe some people probably do and I have you know I talk about like I am still learning to let go of the good girl in my business. I've actually logged a lot of hours go, I'm the good girl in my business. I've actually logged a lot of hours and I have reached the point where if somebody is quote unquote scared of me, it means one or two things I'm not their person in this lifetime.

Lauri 11:45

Like, maybe you are, maybe there's a coach out there you know you're not scared, you know there's someone else that is their person, or it's not time yet. So it might be like not in this lifetime, because there's something like they're not ready to go there yet or we're just not aligned. There's somebody else out there. But if it's scared of me, it's probably a not yet, not this month, not this year, not this decade, not this lifetime. And I in you know, if I'm really like if good girl were in charge, I would try to tamp myself down to make them not scared. I've never done that. No, I've never done it either. I'm just kidding. I've totally done it. That's just kidding. I've totally done it, that's where totally done it.

Vulnerability in Corporate: asking through tears

Lauri 12:36

Yeah, in this moment, you know you, us talking has kind of gotten me more in contact with the like, untamed, unmasked me. So it's very clear I would say I'm just not their person or it's not time yet, rather than trying to tamp myself down to make them not be so scared. Well, transformation can be scary. Coming home to ourselves and letting go of what we've been told we need to be to be safe for our whole lives can be a little scary to a lot scary. So it's different to say if you're scared, that's completely and utterly normal than to try to make you not scared.

Evelyne 13:24

Yeah, and the more we can embrace fear as something that's okay rather than something that you have to avoid at all costs, the more free you will be. Yeah, and there is that I think we have. The actor's advantage is that we got to play with emotions from an early age on, whereas the normal person did not, especially people who've gone through the corporate path first learned to not. The idea, especially for women, is don't be too emotional. Historically, do not be hysterical. Yeah, do not. Now it's just you're over-emotional. Oh my God, you're getting emotional Criticism still, whereas you and me had the beautiful honor to go. No, we're playing with those emotions. We're literally. I talk in my TED talk about emotional fluidity. That is, I think, something that we really need and that I love working with people on, because if you don't have a range of expression, you're going to be boring. Yeah, or, as I said in the good plays, right, you're basic.

Lauri 14:31

You remember?

Evelyne 14:32

that You're basic. Yeah, we remember that You're basic. Yeah, we need that, and I love the way you express it, because you just make it very clear. Okay, I want to know. I know time is getting on and there's so much that I want to know Can you share an experience with us about how you overcame something that was really difficult for you? So I'm imagining the people that are listening. They want to be impactful, powerful speakers. They're listening to us speaking effortlessly about something we're clearly passionate about. But surely life must have been challenging in your adult years as well at some point. Would you be willing to share something that didn't go well for you and how you dealt with that?

Lauri 15:20

I will share a moment when, like before the sort of breakthrough in the theater class I was an executive assistant. I was the executive assistant to the CEO, so I was sort of like the head executive assistant and we had a party for the company where we all made centerpieces ourselves for the party. Like, all the executive assistants got together and made these really beautiful centerpieces Each one of them Like flowers or what, like metal and like it was a holiday party.

Lauri 15:59

So it was like gold and silver metal, like art pieces that were the centerpieces and people just took them Like I don't know why on earth you would do that, because for all they knew it was from a rental company and all of the executive assistants were very upset, like, okay, maybe not all, but some of us were very upset and wanted to keep our own because it was a piece of art. We'd made ourselves very upset and wanted to keep our own because it was a piece of art we'd made ourselves. I frequently found myself in life because I can be very clear and now I'm the head executive assistant nominated to go in and ask someone to get them back for us. And I walk in the room and I'm trying because I'm like, oh, I'm mortified that this thing was taken and I want it back. And. But I'm trying to just use my smart mask to logically explain and he is not understanding me Like I'm attempting to articulate we, we made these things with our own two hands and we all really want them back. Will you help us get them back? But I can't do it because it's so emotional and I'm in the corporate world and I'm trying to just be logical and the tears are like coming up.

Lauri 17:22

So that part was not going well, like it. It's funny not funny as I look back now. And then there was a moment where he said I don't understand, like he literally did not understand what I was trying to say, and you just said I'm a pretty clear person. So I took a deep breath and I opened my heart and I just started speaking through the tears Like I just let the like we all made these things with our own two hands and we're really upset and we want them back. Will you please help us get them back? And like tears and to his credit, the tears like there was a little bit of like whoa. I've never seen her like this because hello masked up jaw tension woman just left the room and he just took a little bit of a like whoa and said I understand now. Yes, I will help you get them back. And we got the vast majority of them back.

Lauri 18:20

So the first part did not go well. The second part, I actually would argue, was like that was another huge breakthrough At the time. I think I saw it like that was another huge breakthrough at the time, I think I saw it as like oh my god, I just completely fell apart and started crying in Jack's office. And it's not supposed to be like that it is. I needed to go through the tears to be able to now ask for things in my life, where sometimes I'm still crying when I'm asking for things that I want, other times because I'm moved or because the little girl within me is like why do I even have to ask, why can't you just intuit it? And more often in my life, when I ask for something that I need, I don't cry like that, because decades of holding back and not asking for what I want is not all mixed in with it.

Evelyne 19:09

Well, and you learn from a really young age that when you cry you don't get. So you have to be quiet to get what you want. So all that mixed in with the expectation to be professional, which does usually not include tears yeah, I've not seen that in any working contract include tears.

Lauri 19:30

Yeah, I've not seen that in any working contract, oh my God, but it would be fun to be like. If you feel like crying, we are asking you to sign this contract, to go ahead and do it inside of an organization.

Evelyne 19:38

That'd be great actually to give that freedom to people. It probably will stay longer, yeah, but I like this piece very much. As if we have people here that are in the corporate world that are wondering how do I work with my emotions as I am becoming more expressed, as I'm becoming more in touch with myself. Sometimes people feel that there's a contrast between who they really are and becoming and who they need to present at work. And then there's a frequent conversation I need to change my job, I can't be in corporate anymore. I need to. That's where people become crystal healers and and color consultants and life coaches and like us really quickly because they can't take it anymore.

The way out is through → surfing emotion

Evelyne 20:18

But there is actually a space where what if you allowed yourself to be more you in that corporate space? No, no, that's not possible. Well, guess what Laurie's story just shows us? Not only is it possible, it is powerful, but that requires a different kind of leadership. That requires courageous leadership. My suspicion is that, moving forward as we are, in this age of advancing AI, this kind of very, very human leadership is going to be more and more powerful. And the idea of holding it together and being Miss Perfect, miss Goody, two Shoes Miss I've Got it All Together. However you want to call her, that's what the machines are doing and you will never keep up with them. Yeah, so I think it's a great idea to encourage that.

Evelyne 21:06

And now the next thought might be oh, but I can't be over-emotional, I can't just be breaking down and crying all the time. Oh, my God, I'm perimenopausal. I cry all the freaking time. This is not the same, and we get to take a breath and find there's a trust that you have with yourself. Clearly and you've put hours in that you can have something happening like that. It doesn't mean it happens all the time, every day. If you're crying every day at moments you cannot predict, you might want to check what's happening and that might be hormonal or it might be psychological. That's very different from having occasional or regular very emotional experiences. Yeah, yeah.

Evelyne 21:50

And.

Why aliveness changes the room

Lauri 21:51

I always love to say the way out is through. The world has told us that the way out is to suppress and go backwards. In reality, it's speak through the tears when it's a moment that is moving to you rather than the like possibly you. It's a moment that is moving to you rather than the like possibly you're having a hormonal phase where you really are crying all day long and like nothing is happening. You're just sitting there like looking out the window and you start weeping. It's different than there's a moment where I'm expressing something and some tears are coming up.

Evelyne 22:25

Yeah. So I studied musical theater and we learned to cry ourselves through a song to prepare. So if I want to sing a song that's really emotional and I want to take you with me on the ride, I can't say this is really touching. Like step one is usually I put the emotion down, because once I cry I cannot sing. Once you really cry and lose yourself, you cannot speak. So what do I do now?

Evelyne 22:50

So you cry yourself through the song and then, once you're done, really out crying eponine, trust me, it takes a while, but out cried it then you can sing, get to the edge of that emotion and then you learn to pull it back just slightly. So you're surfing on that edge and that means your audience will cry. You do not, yeah, so when it comes to speaking on stage and we want to share really vulnerable messages that still make us cry, then that would be a really great way to rehearse it. It's like, yeah, well, let's cry through it so that you can go there, but you're going just to the edge. It's a bit different than the impromptu scene in the office, but just to bring that all together for people bring that all together for people, yeah, yeah.

Lauri 23:37

And if you're speaking very same thing, like you might tell your story and cry your way through your story in a safe space, and then eventually you find that surfing feeling, which means you're vibrant and alive from head to toe and you're starting to have that fluidity that you talked about earlier.

Evelyne 23:53

Exactly, and this aliveness. I think this is where we meet as well. I am burning for that. I'm not literally burning, but that is my passion bringing that aliveness out in people. It makes me so happy to see that.

Lauri 24:10

What about you? Me too.

Evelyne 24:11

Yeah, and so why is that? Why are you so passionate? Why is that so important? I mean, who cares really? Me too, yeah, and so why is that? Why are you so passionate? Why is that so important? I mean, who cares really? Come on, just do your speech, do it well, get through it, get your points across. Don't die. Isn't that enough? Why do you?

Lauri 24:27

have to be so loud it's not because it is not as moving. So I love to work with people who want to change the world in some way. If you're just getting your points across, the energy in the room is not changing. So I can inform you about six bullet points and you're going to look at the bullet points, jot them down, walk back into living your life exactly the way you were living it before, exactly the way you were living it before. If we're alive and the energy in the room changes because of the experience when we're talking, people are more likely to go do something different in their lives, which is now changing the world, one room at a time.

Evelyne 25:12

Yeah, we like that sort of stuff. So we're creating, rather than having, an information event. We're creating an experience, and the transformation is via the energy. Yes, not what you say, but who you become when you say it, what comes out of you energetic, the stuff that you cannot see when you do it, and and that's the magic that is right there, we're like, yes, that's it. That's like that's orgasmic, that's when the light starts flowing out. I love that, yeah.

Lauri 25:41

I'm totally feeling that now and I can talk to you forever and I'm pretty sure you'll come back at some point. Thank you so much for for playing like this. I'm so alive. I want to stay here forever. So thank you from the bottom of my heart. If people are wanting to connect more with you, share verbally how they can do that.

Evelyne 26:09

You can go to my website. It's my name evelynbrinkcom. Please make sure you've got the three's in it e-v-e-l-y-n-e, b-r-i-n-k. Because there is an evelyn brink without the e and she knows everything about me because she gets all the emails that were meant for me. She knows when I buy a house when I get divorced all these things.

Evelyne 26:29

So, evelynbrink, with e-v-e-l-y-n dot com, I've got. I need to change it on the website. My newsletter is not a newsletter, it's a muse letter. I write musing. I will make sure to inspire you. I'm officially called a muse to some people, so feel free to get in touch that way. Email me and my email address is just Eve at Evelyn Brink dot com. And, of course, I am on all social media channels. I do some wicked stuff on Instagram now, so go check that out. Instagram forward slash Evelyn Brink, surprise. Linkedin same thing. All. Evelyn Brink, you will find me, google me and entertain yourself for hours, but it'd be lovely to hear from you.

Lauri 27:10

Awesome, thank you. Thank you so much, and if you're listening and you love today's episode, do all the things Like it, rate it, share it with a friend and come back and listen to the next one.