Maybe it's like a tonal thing, not a volume thing is what I'm saying, which really does make sense, because you can't sing Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2:It's so interesting you mentioned that because recently I went home and I went to my Dogs can't hear certain notes.
Speaker 1:I wish I couldn't hear the dog that lives with us, but I do.
Speaker 2:I went home and my mom's dad, my papaw, was there. I'm close with my nana, her exhusband, who haven't we never, really ever see and he comes up and says hi, and he's like you know, I remember when I used to take you to your speech and hearing and I looked at him. I'm like I have no recollection of that. How old were you? Like I know I went to speech and hearing because nana took me every single day.
Speaker 1:Oh, like I went during.
Speaker 2:Like in elementary school, I went every single day during school. Right and then every single day after school to like.
Speaker 1:So you remember it, but you're like you didn't take me.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, did I just like erase you from my whole brain Because like that seems like a weird story?
Speaker 1:Maybe he was in the backseat of the car you were in the front with Nana or Mamaw. Nana, nana, it was Nana, yeah.
Speaker 2:And I'm like I don't remember that at all. And then what I told him I said oddly enough, the one like baby little child memory I have of myself is me you picking me up in your 18 wheeler. He used to be a truck driver and I remember the sensation that I shit in my pants. What was I like three. And then I think the reason that memory came back is because the story I shared recently when I shit my pants in the car.
Speaker 1:This year, so nothing's changed and that sensation never leaves you. Yeah, it just comes flooding back, wow, yeah, so I can't hear and I can't hold my bowels. I am a pad ball. You are such a catch you're really selling yourself. Yeah, what boy doesn't want to date? You Can't hear, can't sing, can't hold his balls.
Speaker 2:Bad attitude all the time. Yeah, pretty much yeah. Yeah, but I can make a mean craft. Can't cook, can't cook, can't cook, have no taste in wine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was actually really pissed because when I was in Palm Springs I just found out that you made payday spaghetti and apparently you did it out of spite because literally the day you left you left the 30th, yeah, Literally a minute that I don't know what came over me.
Speaker 1:I was like I'm gonna make it. David was like what's that extra spice in it? Spite, it's spite. Yeah, kyle left it's bite. Yeah, kyle left. It's like when a dog like shits when you like go on vacation, you know, or like throws up or something. It's like it's out of spite. Yeah, it's a special spice, yeah, okay. Well, I just go back from palm springs, so we're gonna talk about my palm springs trip a little bit and then we're gonna tie it into kind of a bigger topic today about just kind of like the social anxieties of being in a gay space with a bunch of hot gay people and what it feels like for some of us out there who have social anxiety, and whether or not the people around us kind of affect, um, how that social anxiety takes form or doesn't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which I think is something I really talked about a lot, not necessarily around gay people, but social anxiety in general. But before we get there, um, I want to talk about the elephant in the room. We didn't release an episode today.
Speaker 1:Oh right, yeah, yeah, wednesday November 6, 2024.
Speaker 2:And I would like to personally apologize on Kyle's behalf that he has been in.
Speaker 1:I'm so teasing. I remember like we kept trying to because I was like no, we're not going. No, you were just in a bad mood every week.
Speaker 2:That's why we couldn't record.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was like no, we're not going to no, you were just in a bad mood every week.
Speaker 2:That's why we couldn't record. Yeah, I was like how about this?
Speaker 1:day? How about this day? How about this day? We got to do two this week. Then if we don't do it this week, oh okay, we need to skip marketing Monday, because we have to do a recording on Monday, because it's the only day. Cause I we could have recorded like on a Wednesday, on a Sunday, on a Monday, and I was like okay, great, and I was like Kyle this is absolutely I can't do it.
Speaker 2:Why?
Speaker 1:couldn't that Sunday I gotta take a bath. I went on a date to Krusty Krab. I know, yeah, you chose your date over with a vampire for me, but I was fucking hilarious that day.
Speaker 2:I'm sure you were painting and do you remember I was hilarious, that's because I gave you a bunch of Adderall.
Speaker 1:You hadn't had it in like a week because you ran out, so I gave you some Adderall and then you were like I'm hilarious, that's what happened.
Speaker 2:What is this reality that you live in?
Speaker 1:Well, you were painting, but you were tickled pink too. I was. I mean, you were hilarious, but you just really thought you were Hilarious, but you just really thought you were.
Speaker 2:You were on one. Oh look, kyle. You have to look at this, because that's when I was posting all the things from the details of our Halloween night.
Speaker 1:Oh right, yeah, we do need to talk about that too.
Speaker 2:Which doesn't really involve. I guess you got involved with the gay, but it doesn't really tie into today's topic.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh it feels like it was so long ago I don't even remember who did I get involved with.
Speaker 2:I took notes. Okay, maybe let's start there so first off, this was the Saturday before Halloween, so what was it Like the 26th-ish type date? Yeah, we started at Tristan's after I spent so much of the fucking day making your fucking hats it pissed me off, so please tell them what you were.
Speaker 1:okay, I was laura croft, tomb raider.
Speaker 1:Good, I loved that movie basically, I had no intention of going out for halloween. Caleb convinced me to go out and to go to tristan's house beforehand. I was like you know what, I'll go have a couple drinks with Tristan she's pretty chill and I will pull something out of my ass to dress up in. I had a bunch of black clothing and some harnesses, and you gave me a little side satchel bag, which is classic Lara Croft, and all I needed really was a long braid. So we went to what's it called?
Speaker 2:called Value Village. We went to Value Village. I took a coupon today, oh wow okay, well, next time I need a long braid because I threw that one away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah with the hat. No, no, I kept the hat. Oh, thank you yeah you better wear it again, yeah yeah, got a hat at Value Village as well, just a black hat. And then I made Caleb like find the font for um tomb raider and uh, what's it called?
Speaker 2:transfer the vinyl transfer vinyl and you kept picking the colors of the vinyl that were the most difficult to do yeah, and you chose a movie from the early 2000s which, trying to find a clear image, to convert to an svg file.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know it was hard and you did it because you really wanted to be there, but how the whole day came about.
Speaker 2:I remember Tristan had FaceTimed me. We were talking and she was showing me her outfit. She said how would I do this? I'm like I don't know and I come shove her on FaceTime in your face. I'm like how will she fix this? Right Because she was dressing up as Tinkerbell.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and she's like Kyle, do you want to come out? Kyle, like, don't you sew, don't you want to come to my party? And I was like, um, okay, if I have to like alter this Tinkerbell dress for your friend, you have to make me a fucking hat at the very least.
Speaker 2:And where was I winning you? You really did it, you really did it, you really did it.
Speaker 1:You really did it because you had like three outfits like ideas SpongeBob was the first and you're like I hate it.
Speaker 2:I really, if I had the time. I almost wanted to make a shirt today that was to wear to record this. I hate it here because literally that's all I said all day. Yeah, it's because that pissed me off. I couldn't figure out an outfit and so we spent.
Speaker 1:But then you ended up getting your grandma outfit together.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you went as a fat grandma and I was like sexy Lara Croft and then we had like sexy Tinkerbell which you're welcome, tristan. I did like hem and alter this dress so that it was gorgeous. You slayed the fuck out of it. I really did.
Speaker 2:So, after all of the shenanigans, of getting outfits together. We go to the place called the zoo where Tristan's neighbor's birthday party.
Speaker 1:Awful, he did it.
Speaker 2:I also agree. Yeah, and the two memories I have from that is well, three Cash only, Ugh Only had beer. Remember when you came back and you handed me a beer. Yeah, I beer remember when you came back and you handed me a beer, I was like we gotta go, yeah. And then at some point, me and tristan are sitting down with this woman to tell her that she should leave her husband we just met her that night.
Speaker 1:She's a stranger while you were having that conversation, I met two girls who were making a tiktok video and I was having. They were hot dressed as harry potter and hermione or something and they were making a tiktok video and they were showing me how they were making it and I was like you guys need to be on the podcast. You're so funny and you're so pretty. And they were like, oh my God, we would love to be on your podcast. And then in the morning I watched the TikTok that they posted.
Speaker 2:I was like they're not coming on the podcast, which is funny because I posted on social media, tristan, making fun of you. She was like could you imagine you at the bar telling people about your podcast? You're like and that I also know, I think you sent it to me. I was like wow, they're you.
Speaker 1:They are not coming on this podcast. It's not good. Yeah, I hope they're listening now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely yeah, so then we go from there and like subscribe the funniest part for me that night was okay one.
Speaker 1:The thing I remember most about zoo is that you took a great picture of laura croft in the bathroom we spent more time in the bathroom absolutely it was great, all the best shots of the night bathroom at the zoo, good lighting, like great background color, especially for laura croft, lots of green.
Speaker 1:And then the other thing I remember of the night is how many people asked me if my braid was real, like literally it is a braid that is bungee attached to the top of the hat. It does look like it goes like underneath the actual hat, so it's like coming out from the back of it. But I was like I think it's horse hair, like it's so thick it's never been conditioned. It's so thick it's never been conditioned.
Speaker 2:It's never been conditioned.
Speaker 1:It's terrible, terrible hair. But people kept asking me is that real? I was like I'm not a lesbian, with the sides of his head shaved and just one long rat tail. No, it's not real.
Speaker 2:It was just so. Whenever you told me that, I said you're fucking lying. At least three people.
Speaker 1:So we go to union like that wasn't really that memorable?
Speaker 2:no, um, then we go to pony oh pony was great. We had us a ball. Yeah, uh, I still. I actually think it was just yesterday. I was chatting with the dairy girl, oh love the dairy girl.
Speaker 1:She is loved.
Speaker 2:Rainbow bright, oh yeah, rainbow bright, yeah um, the dairy girl, cute, so cute, and I was. And no, tino, shade I, it's not like I didn't think they. She is Loved. Rainbow Brite, oh yeah, rainbow Brite, yeah, the.
Speaker 1:Dairy Girl, cute, so cute, and I was. And no tea, no shade, it's not like I didn't think they were attractive.
Speaker 2:It's just hard to picture whenever you have very 80s hair Makeup on and yeah. Poorly done makeup. It's really tough.
Speaker 1:It's really tough Right To see someone attractive Drag, very cute.
Speaker 2:So then, like we were there for a good amount of time and then I finally get my way and I'm like I have to dance Mm-hmm. Then we go to Queer Bar. I really don't remember much about Queer Bar.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no. Me and Nick were like we should not be going out. There's only like 30 minutes left.
Speaker 2:So we have like maybe 15 minutes left to dance and two minutes left to dance and I begged and you were like, no, I'm let's go, I'm paying and I begged you.
Speaker 2:I was like this is what I need, because you know I need 10 minutes of dancing, uh, and I got what I wanted. So after that, like, I got my dancing, I got great conversation, we got great photos. I'm ready. I'm like my night is checked off the box. Uh, he lives close. It's piss pouring the rain. Thank god, I have my pocketbook and I'm just carrying my pocketbook with my rat tail in it and a dnr, and then look, I smell something. I'm like I'm gonna get corn, I'll meet y'all there and then y'all keep going back to his place. Yes, and I waited for a hot minute and then I think I respond. Then I think I texted the both of you and I was like Ubering home. He was like what?
Speaker 2:I made the bed and I responded it's wet. He said the bed is dry. My response was I have corn. No more messages. I paid $70 for an Uber from way up there to back here. I ate my corn in the bath. I was happy when I woke up the next day to get like go take a shower. There's so many little bits I can drop that in my bath water. Oh my god good soup.
Speaker 1:That's hilarious. Well, I think yeah so you knew, subconsciously or drunkenly, that he and I were gonna hook up.
Speaker 2:I don't. I kind of was like shocked. I'm not that shocked, but like I was like this is juicy.
Speaker 1:And then whenever you came. We really haven't even really debriefed about it. No, because when you came home the next day, because this is like Tristan's best friend, yes, which is like your best friend's best friend.
Speaker 2:Who had convinced me that the two of them dated oh, Tristan and Nick. And that because, like Tristan and Nick Because Tristan's chaotic enough to where I could see it Right and whenever you came home and you were not dressed as Lara Croft anymore.
Speaker 1:No, I wasn't. You were wearing someone else's clothes and I was like did?
Speaker 2:you.
Speaker 1:And I was like gagged to another level. Well, all my clothes were wet and I needed new clothes, so he gave me an outfit which I still need to get back to him.
Speaker 2:And then I was like you didn't even tell me. I said wait, you did, and you gave me a look. I was like you fucking did, you fucking had sex with him and you were like it was good.
Speaker 1:I was like that's not what I said. I was like you slept with him that night.
Speaker 2:Thank god I didn't come there. He's like not just that night, this morning too, yeah, I did, and I was like what, and you're?
Speaker 1:like it was pretty good. That's what I said. That's what I said. I was like, yeah, and it was actually pretty good. I'm here to dramatize it. I know, I know, but you know our audience wants the truth, they don't everything I've said has been true. I've been lying to this this whole time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is just a fever dream. And then I finally get tristan on the phone and I'm like what the fuck? And she's like what the fuck. So we just it was uh-huh what. That was a lovely night yeah, and that's so.
Speaker 1:Should I so? Does that mean it's okay if I like have sex with him again?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, everyone's okay with that. The friend group says approved.
Speaker 2:Yeah, see, what's fun is like we're both going to act really gagged by it. What the fuck? Like we're going to give you a hard time about it, but like it doesn't bother me at all. So go for a girly pop pop. And that's not a. That's not a. I was gonna say a tree, but he's not a tree. That's not a limb that I would climb.
Speaker 1:So climb on, girl? He did ask me because he drove me back to my car in the morning. He was like so like what does this mean?
Speaker 2:and I was like what I would have loved to, just like. So, like, are we dating? I was like, that's what I was. You're gonna ask me that question, um, but I was like, did you?
Speaker 1:have fun? I was going to ask me that question, um, but I was like did you have fun? And he's like yeah. I was like okay, well then, stop overthinking it. He's like but I was like stop overthinking it, which probably made it worse yeah. I was like I had fun, you had fun, let's do it again sometime. And Caleb and Tristan are going to have a lot of fun hearing about this, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I just wish I had more corn when I heard about y'all having sex.
Speaker 1:So you're going to like spat it out like a machine gun of corn.
Speaker 2:Do you remember my story recently Me talking about how much I shit because I ate?
Speaker 1:three cans of corn. That's all I can think of when you mentioned corn ever I didn't even poop the next day okay, which speaking.
Speaker 2:Hold that thought, because that is going to be one of my vices. Okay, so we'll circle back on that later. Yes, but the meat and the juices juices, the meat and the juice of this story. It almost kind of like how we took my trip and turned it into a topic. I, we want to. I want to take your trip, yeah, turn into a topic, yeah, but before there's one last fun story that we have to share.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Go and after I had shut you down for recording the podcast three times in a row, before you fly out, you're like, Caleb, you have to wax my butt. And Caleb, you have to wax my butt. And I'm like I don't want to and you're like, come on, it'll be fine. I think I made you do it. Did you have to go get me wine? I was like, okay, but I want this. There had to be.
Speaker 1:There was some bribery involved. I don't remember what it was. I remember there was a lot of wine because I needed to chug a full glass of it before I let you spread my cheeks, yeah.
Speaker 2:The entire time. Okay, so picture this y'all. I had bought this butt waxing kit a while ago. We mentioned it at the housewarming party, correct?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Which my friend Fernando I did.
Speaker 1:We mentioned him on the podcast.
Speaker 2:for this reason, I did let him know that I have now successfully completed my clinical hours.
Speaker 1:I performed my first patient Right Because we got the waxing kit so that you could wax Fernando's butt.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, I mainly wanted mine done. But then, like then I had mentioned it at the housewarming, he was like oh my God, would you do mine? Because like in my brain I'm like I remember reflecting on it, Like I was like this feels like it should be like a funny, giddy thing. But in my brain as soon as, like my, I just switched like nurse mode, Right once I spread my cheeks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and your brain shut down Because I'm like this fucking song is terrible and I'm over here like more, worried about the playlist, Because I'm like Kyle, I'm going to need some kind of entertainment while I'm doing this.
Speaker 1:Your ADD was at like a 10 out of 10 while you were waxing my butthole and I'm like, oh, Because you were like what temperature does this need to be at? Does it need to be covered? Do I need to use a small popsicle stick? Let's test it on your toe first. Which song do I have to play? This is not the right song for waxing a butthole.
Speaker 2:And then me just like describing a song in a music video why I like it as it's playing and I'm like, oh, it's not done yet.
Speaker 1:But we did find the perfect song for Waxing a Butthole, and it was Tattoo. Is that what it's called?
Speaker 2:By Lorene, by Lorene.
Speaker 1:Yes, it was perfect.
Speaker 2:I thought it was going to be Disease by Lady Gaga, right, and not even because we were talking about booty holes but just because it had just come out which slay.
Speaker 1:I love that song. Sorry if you don't. If you disagree, it's very fame monster which I know which is like I'm ready for this era of her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that especially we're not. I know we don't. We're not gonna talk about the election much um with that. I need something to look forward to. But right, I quite enjoyed the booty whacking journey, but my favorite is okay, y'all can't come for me. This isn't that gross, but it's kind of gross. Um, I have a million and a half boxes in my craft room right now that I need to put into the recycling, and so I the box that the waxing kit came in. I just threw like kyle's waxing strips in them. After I pulled off each one, I did hold it in front of the light. I was like look at all these hairs. Each time I showed you, and then, right over your booty hole, I put one, just a real thick one, and it's hard wax to clarify.
Speaker 1:So as you rip it off, it can, it remains in the same shape as whatever it was laying against.
Speaker 2:It reminds me of like when you know you're a baby and they do your footprint, or like they put it into concrete, yeah I have that of your booty hole.
Speaker 1:Yeah, literally like an impression, like a dental impression of my butthole, that's the best way to put it.
Speaker 2:Did you keep it? Oh, I mean, I still have the box. I didn't keep it intentionally. But you haven't thrown it out Right, so maybe I'll put it in resin and give it to you or bedazzle you know what.
Speaker 1:Christmas is coming up. Imagine if we turn it into an ornament. Okay, I like that plan. Also, I was telling my friend in Palm Springs that lives there about this story and he goes, or I was saying you know, I think that I'm going to take that like wax impression of my butthole and I'm going to frame it and call it art. And he's like no honey, that's not art, that's fart. I couldn't stop laughing wait I could not stop laughing.
Speaker 2:We should, because you know I'm gonna put my rat tail in a shadow box in my craft room. Can we get a shadow box for your booty hole wax? Yes, because they're both hairy. Well, yours is not anymore thank you um, but there is hair on the fart, but just imagine like a shadow box, because you know I just keep hanging up stuff that bring me joy and just it's just your booty hole impression yeah, next to my rat tail.
Speaker 1:That's 20 years old. Anyways, that was the night before I went to palm springs give us the date.
Speaker 2:This was the 29th.
Speaker 1:You left the 30th I left on the 30th, yeah, yes of yes, of October.
Speaker 2:Okay Now, last episode that came out was purely all about me, which I wish every week was. I'm going to be a decent podcast.
Speaker 1:Pass the baton honey Pass the baton.
Speaker 2:I will let you look at the baton.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so go ahead, let's see which one gets more listens your episode or mine? I'm changing the Instagram password and I'm not posting any posts about it.
Speaker 2:Okay, which we don't get any from our own, I'll still. I'm teasing because there's already been so much gold in this, I'll still get more. There's been so much gold in this already.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm going to start off by talking about okay, this is Wednesday the 30th. My flight is. How did talking about um, okay, this is uh wednesday, the 30th, my flight.
Speaker 2:How did the palm springs trip happen?
Speaker 1:because you happy bottom autumn day, yeah, and it was casually mentioned and then, like it became like, quickly tell us that yeah, happy bottom autumn was our um boat day with um, our pickleball friends and some friends from the no gays in mont there are no Gays in Montana and Lindsay from Peace Love Local and one of our friends from Pickleball said that they had an extra room available in their house because someone canceled last minute. And I go to Palm Springs almost every year for Palm Springs Pride because it's the first week of November and my birthday is the 25th of November and no one can ever do anything around Thanksgiving. So I always like, try to do like a trip somewhere and what better in November than to get out of Seattle and go to Palm Springs and celebrate pride. And you know everyone wants to go do that and hang out and be in the sun and lay by the pool and party and it's just like a great time. So I've done this maybe like five times now.
Speaker 2:So now it's like a tradition, kind of a tradition. It's Kyle's birthday celebration. Pride Palm Springs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I wasn't planning on doing it this year because I'm poor, let's be honest, because I'm poor, um. But then this room opened up in. We're going to call him the Australian, our pickleball friend, born again Australian.
Speaker 2:He's been here 15 years, yeah, and that accent goes in and out.
Speaker 1:It does go in and out. He also lived in Boston for a while and Lindsay, she was like I don't trust him. She had a couple drinks and she was like I don't trust him. She had a couple of drinks and she was like I don't trust him, I don't think he's Australian, or like I can't figure out what his accent is and it just makes me not want to trust him. Anyways, so the Australian invited me to stay in their Airbnb and a bunch of guys that I don't know were staying there. I got added to like a WhatsApp chat ended up knowing one of them. We'll call him New Orleans because that's where he's from, nola and he and I had I like that, nola, we'll call him, nola.
Speaker 1:Nola, he and I had chatted before on Grindr but I didn't know that going into the trip he was going to be there and we had like planned to like hook up a couple of times. Never worked out. You know how it is in Seattle, just people are yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, you know how it is People cancel last minute.
Speaker 1:All the time I don't know what it is about Seattle, but that's a thing, do you agree? Reminds me of whenever you asked that guy I don't want to do anything sexual you can give me a blowjob, a massage, feed me popcorn while I watch a movie, Continue, yeah, well, at least I'm a friend about it, right, Okay?
Speaker 2:So you never actually connected in the city that you both live in currently Correct.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I knew that I wanted to get to know him a little bit better, so I asked everyone for their seat arrangements on the flight and the morning of my flight.
Speaker 2:I changed my seat so that I was sitting next to him. Wait, that's actually fucking brilliant, thank you, yeah, was it Alaskan?
Speaker 1:yeah, alaska, wow, that's light, oh my god so I changed my seat, so we sat next to each other and you're like, oh, my god, what are the coincidences? Yeah, I was like you're gonna love me. I brought all these snacks from Trader Joe's. I was like I'm gonna, you're gonna love me. I brought all these snacks from Trader Joe's. I was like a man through a way to the man's heart is through his stomach Fucking bird trail mix shit, exactly that. And Cheetos, the truffle Cheetos.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God yeah, and chocolate covered pretzels, yeah, a lot of stuff. But we had a great time catching up or like kind of meeting each other for the first time on the flight there. Then we get there, check into the airbnb and there are there's a bed for every person and, uh, for whatever reason, I was like nola and I are gonna stay in the king-size bed together well, because you're used to a king-size bed. Well, basically, like no one could figure out like who's staying in what bed, and so there's eight people.
Speaker 1:There's eight beds, yeah, and two people were not showing up till the next day, so really there were eight, six, six people for eight beds, but there's a king-size bed. I didn't want to feel like bad about like taking the king-size bed. But I didn't want to feel bad about taking the king-size bed, but I was like, oh, it'll make it seem better if I share it. It's my birth month. I was like it's my birth month. I'm used to sleeping in a king-size bed at home, so David and I want to let's take this bed.
Speaker 2:I want to pause right there because we need a preface of you eating bird food trail mix for the week and a half leading up to this Second off. You get there and you forget one of your medicines.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, and you're like Prep.
Speaker 2:I forgot my prep, you forgot your prep and you're like Caleb, I need you to overnight it to me.
Speaker 1:I need you to overnight my prep.
Speaker 2:And I literally was like, okay, like I can.
Speaker 1:Like do you think it's going to get?
Speaker 2:there in time. Then I're like oh my God, thank you. You messaged in the WhatsApp and two people who weren't there yet brought extra for you. Yes, they really saved the day.
Speaker 1:I saved the day. You did nothing.
Speaker 2:I gave you the idea. I know.
Speaker 1:I know, I know I was panicking.
Speaker 2:I was panicking. You were like I prepped. This is like your marathon.
Speaker 1:You're like I prepped for this for a while eating bird seed for a week and a half, getting on my uh probiotics, then getting off my probiotics because it made me fart.
Speaker 2:Me trying to like me luring you in, like, oh, do you want like this junk food thing? And you're like, no, I'm eating my fucking dromics. Thank you very much. And imagine it all goes awry because you forget your prep. I know that would be awful, so and that's all I wanted to continue your storyline, yeah, good, tangent. So first night there's six of you, eight beds, you decide you.
Speaker 1:And Nola, have to share the king's eyes. Yes, okay. So I planned a full family dinner for everyone because I was there visiting a bunch of other people there's probably I don't know 40 people from Seattle that I knew. So I was like this is really the only night that I have like to do a family dinner, so I would love it if you guys could make the time and I'll cook dinner for everyone. Then they're like okay, let's go get groceries. And I was like I really could use a nap. So can I just give you the list You're the fucking worst.
Speaker 2:You're like, I really could use a nap, so can I just give you the list.
Speaker 1:You're the fucking worst.
Speaker 2:You're like I am a visitor on this trip. I want to be sleeping in a king size bed with Nola. I had arranged my seat on the plane to sit next to him. I forgot my prep.
Speaker 1:Someone's bringing me my medicine.
Speaker 2:I know I'm such a mess.
Speaker 1:I forced my roommate to wax my butthole the night before when he did one too. It is your birth month, and you asked for what you fucking wanted.
Speaker 2:I know and you're like wait, I don't know any of these people. I have to fucking show off my skill set. I'm going to cook for everyone, Right?
Speaker 1:But I'm not going to do any fucking shopping. But then I got tired, so yeah, I didn't know that detail, I know.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I didn't know that detail, I know. So I set them on their way and they got all the groceries and they came back and, um, I made a wonderful dinner for all of us and we got to know everyone a little bit better and it was so much fun getting to know them. By the end of the night we were like taking body shots of people. They were doing lap dances on each other. We were playing like um, like kind of like a truth or dare Uno kind of thing, I don't know. So what'd you make for dinner? Oh, I made chicken kebabs and I made a vegetable skewers and a strawberry goat cheese salad and that sounds fucking phenomenal yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was really good. Did you have a sous chef? No, nola did keep asking me if I needed help and I was like I'm not sure if I can trust you in the kitchen yet it's too fast. We're moving too fast.
Speaker 2:He was making this situation. You're like just calm down.
Speaker 1:Are you having fun? Great Okay, then we'll do it again. Okay, oh, down. Are you having fun? Great okay, then we'll do it again. Okay, oh, and I forgot, I was also making um blended.
Speaker 2:Uh, what do they call the coconut and pineapple pina coladas?
Speaker 1:yeah, and so we're having those by the pool. That was really fun, so I was. I was just being a good host.
Speaker 2:So this is Wednesday the 30th.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, okay. So then the next day it's the 31st, it's Halloween, mm-hmm, so Not even your birth, fucking month yet yeah.
Speaker 1:So one of the reasons why I went out to Palm Springs in addition to my birthday and all the other things that I had going on was because I met this woman. We'll call her D. I met D at a pool party in Puerto Vallarta, at the gay bar or like the gay beach club. What do you like a 60-something-year-old woman was doing with her 70 or 80-year-old, 80-something mom? Yeah, I have no idea.
Speaker 1:But I'm at this pool party and, of course, like, who do I talk to when I'm surrounded by a ton of hot gay men the oldest women at the bar and so we just hit it off. She lives in Palm Springs, so my friend and I we went and had dinner with her. She works for or, yeah, she volunteers for a startup that, um, helps, like young entrepreneurs, get their startups off the ground.
Speaker 2:So like shark tank, but not like yeah, yeah, yeah, cause she was out there trying to give away money and PV. So yeah.
Speaker 1:So we kind of like um, we're talking about opening up a wine bar in Palm Springs, and so we had dinner with her to kind of figure out what resources are available to us there and looking for potential investors.
Speaker 2:And thank God you had your prep with you.
Speaker 1:And thank God I had my prep with me, so any hot daddies along the way I could sit on their deck. Wait, so this was Halloween night. This is Halloween, yeah, yeah, kind of early evening, okay yeah so then, my favorite part of halloween I just have to talk about. How did that go, though?
Speaker 2:oh, it went really well because I you can update me. You don't have to include all of it, but like, yeah, detail, like really well she's like which friend did?
Speaker 1:she already wants us to come out for this like investor dinner but god, that's actually really.
Speaker 2:That's amazing, yeah, especially after you were sharing with me today about how you were so spot on about the wine and stuff you were tasting like it's all coming to. I hope it's fruit ish and it's oh, that's good that's good yeah, it's really exciting. Yeah, get back to the chaos now. But I just really wanted to know because I forgot, forgot there's so many levels to this short trip.
Speaker 1:Okay, I know so that was Halloween early evening. So it's Halloween. So what do I go out dress up in for Halloween? But my Lara Croft costume, but without the Lara Croft hat and braid. Instead I put on devil ears or devil horns, because that's all I got, that's what you found in the tomb. That's what I found.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I raided the tomb no, you were sent to hell after you fucked our friend. Uh-huh, yeah. And then you came back with the pigeons. Yeah, did you fuck the devil.
Speaker 1:Yes, I did. But some of my favorite costumes of the night were, okay, my friend uh in our landlord austin. He dressed up not only as one, not only as two, but three different characters, all from Monsters Inc. One was Boo the little girl.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm very familiar with the movie.
Speaker 1:So the cute little nightgown right, Mm-hmm Two. Okay, the nightgown was kind of pulled up to the side to reveal a banana hammock with a single eye on it, mike wazowski mike wazowski mike wazowski, I'm watching you. Is that what his booty hole lip said? And then that would be great next year and then no, then he had like a little clutch that was like the solely um fur, so he was like all three characters wrapped in up into one, you know I think he's like a subtle creative person.
Speaker 2:He's not gonna put it in your face, but like that, being able to put that together oh yeah, he'll surprise you.
Speaker 1:He's also very punny, yeah. And then his partner, our other landlord, brian, my best friend. He was sadness from.
Speaker 2:Inside Out, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And he's like. But I got a little bit of joy here and he was just wearing like a neon jockstrap, so in that kind of like yellow joy color, so like joy is coming out in the middle of sadness, I'm just tickled and his partner, after you, described this amazing outfit just his sadness, then it's out of context, it's just yeah, looking hilarious, so good okay love. Yeah, any other like um, okay, yes, one more was this like crazy encounter was with this girl. Okay, you're a fan of horror movies, right?
Speaker 2:yes, I love something that gives me anxiety. Me too, too Caused by my own head.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, it's like self-inflicted pain, you know. It's just like, yeah, I have control over this. I love it. Yeah, so have you seen the movie X or Pearl or Maxine? It's a trilogy. No Girl, this is like one of my favorite horror series.
Speaker 2:It sounds like mammal names other than x yeah, earl and maxine. Yeah, maxine's, my name is middle name.
Speaker 1:Continue okay, so she was the main character from uh, maxine, uh, or it's this, it's the main character from all three, but she, like, was dressed up as the version from the third movie, maxine. And the crazy thing was I was, because I spotted it from across the room. I was like, oh, my God, you are doing such a good job with this costume, embodying Maxine's character. And we started talking. And she lives in Pioneer Town, which is like the town over towards Joshua Tree.
Speaker 2:Wait, one of the Real Housewives said they owned that. Yes, right, it was like a movie set. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah you know.
Speaker 1:So um two years ago, instead of going to palm springs and staying there, I stayed in um joshua tree for my birthday and we went out in pioneer town one night and we were going to this uh concert and uh at a restaurant venue. It's kind of like a duo like restaurant plus concert venue, and it was like a three-hour wait to get in and my friend pulls out a hundred dollar bill and bribes one of the waitresses to push like some tables together to get us uh seated so that we can have dinner before this concert and she goes. That was me shut up. She's like I work at that restaurant.
Speaker 2:I work at that, she remembered you yeah was the friend. Well, she didn't remember me specifically.
Speaker 1:But she remembered like getting bribed that night because you told the story.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, what I bet you just had, like your brain exploded the amount of coincidences. You weren't even supposed to be in Palm Springs. Yeah, you went with people you didn't like. Yeah, oh my God.
Speaker 1:Yeah, anyways, so that was Halloween, and then.
Speaker 2:Did you have sex? Yes, because I do want to allude to you cutting your finger down to the bone and me offering you surgical glue before you went on this trip and I'm like, and you're like, no, it's going to be fine. I'm like what if you stick it in?
Speaker 1:someone's butthole? I know I smashed my finger in a Jimmy John's store.
Speaker 2:Because Not the? Not Jimmy John the man. The restaurant, no, the restaurant.
Speaker 1:Yeah but so is me exiting and smashing my finger.
Speaker 2:You can't be seen.
Speaker 1:I fucking love Jimmy John's. I am not ashamed of it. Thank you very much, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's why I wanted to say that before you start telling your sex complaints.
Speaker 1:I had a flesh wound on my finger and, yes, I was very worried about fingering someone and getting blood all over it.
Speaker 2:Not that you could be sharing anything, but because you had your prep?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I had my prep, so you had sex that night. Yes. With whom I went home at two o'clock in the morning after shutting down the bar, got into bed with my bedmate Nola.
Speaker 2:Okay, thank God I had to mouth to you. I was like, do not say their name.
Speaker 1:And we proceeded to fornicate.
Speaker 2:Was there penetration or was it just side?
Speaker 1:That night was foreshadowing, but that night was just side Pisses me off.
Speaker 2:Were you both like no, I can't.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Occupado.
Speaker 1:The first night we. You wanted to explore each other. The first night we just made out.
Speaker 2:The second night this is the second nightlloween night is the second night oh so the night that you were there you cooked dinner you just made out and you went to bed, yeah okay, like a good night kiss yeah yeah, and then you side actioned halloween night at 2 am yeah okay then this is when it gets juicy with Nola the next day. November 1st your birth month.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's true. Now we're into my birth month.
Speaker 2:Now we're getting lucky. Yes, you're being celebrated.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so the whole house goes to breakfast together. Everyone decides to go shopping after breakfast, but it's the hottest day there and I do not want to walk the streets, so I decided to go home early. I am so horny for some reason, probably because I only got side action the night before.
Speaker 2:So that's like scratching an itch.
Speaker 1:Right. So I get home like I'm assuming it much earlier than everyone else and I decided I'm going to jack off. So I lay down in bed and put on some porn and start jacking off. Did you have earphones in? No, oh my god. And then who walks in like five minutes later because, yes, sorry, it takes me longer than five minutes you weren't even like. Oh, I was like lubed up or anything I was yeah, I was.
Speaker 2:You're like I was five minutes into the film who walks in, but nola, what are you doing?
Speaker 1:I literally was like, oh my god, is that what you said? Like how do you know? Okay, so nola walks into the room and I'm like like, do you want to help me out? Oh no, I'm so embarrassed, I'm so glad you're here and he's like yeah, I can't figure this thing out.
Speaker 2:I've never done it before. I keep trying.
Speaker 1:I don't know Anyways. So anyways, we take it to the bathroom. You in the fucking showers, yeah. And then we went to town. You had sex, mm-hmm sex.
Speaker 2:Did you top or bottom? Now I know what you're thinking. Why did you cut us off? We were in. We're there, we're ready for it. We're ready for the story. I promise you it's not as juicy and interesting as you think it is. We decided that we're going to give you a twofer, so we are interrupting this end of an episode to give you regular scheduled programming.
Speaker 1:Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, here in the studio.
Speaker 2:We like to do it your way, but don't get crazy. We wanted to come back with a little victory advice for this episode, to kind of hold you off, you know, to keep you coming back for more, and I think that we should just quickly pop in and give a quick victory advice, because our lives have been so fruitful that's a call out to earlier in the episode so fruitful here lately that I think that we have some pretty decent victory and vices this week.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so stay tuned for next week's episode, where you can find the answer to the question of did I top or bottom?
Speaker 2:And we finally correlate feeling social anxiety in a gay setting.
Speaker 1:You're not going to get any of that on this episode but next week you shall yeah so, kyle, okay, my victory of the week is that, after spending 45 minutes on the phone with seattle city lights, I thought that we were gonna have a three thousand dollar utility bill that we haven't paid in six months since we moved in since we moved in in may. Um, but my victory is that we do not have to pay a three thousand dollar utility bill, that we only have a three a thousand dollar utility bill. So, um, it was just a huge relief off my back and hopefully everyone else is back in um this house. I've had the best luck with phone calls recently and saving a lot of money. So one I saved $2,000 on the phone today.
Speaker 2:And it benefited me. So I like that one the best you support.
Speaker 1:Okay. I also called my wireless carrier and I got $20 knocked off my bill after threatening to cancel. Let me just say that that's the best way to save money from whoever your wireless carrier is. They cannot do anything if you call customer service, but if you call and you say I need to cancel my plan, they will do anything to save the plan. That's a hot tip.
Speaker 2:We also learned that we're both with Verizon, so we should just get on a joint plan, a family plan, yeah that's next on my list.
Speaker 1:The other thing that I did is I got $200 a month knocked off my health insurance bill. Isn't that insane?
Speaker 1:I don't know if I would personally share the fraud that I'm committing on the internet, but, kyle, what I love is that we have such few people that listen to this episode right you're probably going to be safe yeah, um, okay, then my vice of the week is that okay, I am six weeks into my w set, level two, somalia training, and can you tell people what that means?
Speaker 1:Yes, yes. So basically, I go two hours a week to Issaquah to taste a bunch of wines and learn about different varietals, where they come from, the climate that they grow in, the different flavor characteristics that they express and how they're blended, what you know. Certain regions are known for a million different things and I kind of thought that it was going to be easy and I wasn't going to need to study. But we're finally six weeks in and I'm like shit, I haven't studied a single day outside of class and I really need to like dive in and start studying, um, otherwise I'm not going to pass my test and get my certificate. So I'm only like two weeks away from my exam and I'm kind of stressing out that I haven't studied that much other than drinking wine while recording a podcast. Okay, what are your victory and vices of the week, caleb?
Speaker 2:I'm going to just share an ongoing run on sentence of a thought that I have, and I think it contains victory and vices.
Speaker 1:Okay, is it two and one or?
Speaker 2:We'll see. Okay, We'll see. So while you and David were gone, you know you were in Palm Springs and David Was in Idaho. Oh, that's where he went.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:Anyway, regardless, I was here by myself and I haven't had a weekend alone. Five bedrooms, all to yourself, yes, and I slept on the couch one night. I just fell asleep there, but I think I, especially with my job and then just like really feeling the pressures of like oh, I need to go and be social or I need to go and do this. It's really like distracted me from being like in tune with like what I actually want to go and be social or I need to go and do this it's really like distracted me from being like in tune with, like, what I actually want to go and do and not go and do.
Speaker 2:So definitely the vice of this is, while you were gone, um, a lot of the people that I love the most and that I kept, that really kept me here in seattle, were my travelers friends, and there were several of us that still live here seattle working staff jobs. She had a last minute, like friendsgiving, the same day that we were supposed to go to halloween party, like that we do with another traveler's friends to host it, and I backed out of the um, her going away friendsgiving and then you had no plans other than passing out on the couch.
Speaker 2:Yes, okay, but I and I I think I even mentioned this to you like I enjoy doing certain things, but I feel like all I've been doing a lot lately is like doing things for others and I think that a lot of that has to do with my job like doing things I don't want to do and like not like just like having the bandwidth or free time to go, like explore what Caleb would enjoy or feel naturally drawn to.
Speaker 2:So I felt so much guilt to where I almost got talked into going because my friend Drew stayed with me when he was in town to go out and I decided to stay in and I still started feeling really, really guilty. But having that weekend alone of just really hardcore advocating for myself and knowing I'll probably let people down, I realized it was way more important for me to I don't know, just be with myself and sit with myself, because there's a lot of shit that has happened this year that I don't think I've truly allowed myself to process. You know, with moving, the breakup, my mom all dying, just I've really felt like I've been missing my family a lot. There's just a lot of things that I've just been distracting myself with, work, trying to stay busy.
Speaker 1:And you took a minute to like take care of yourself, and so it just.
Speaker 2:I crafted a shit ton. I got to just go on deep dives in movies. I like had pizza three nights in a row.
Speaker 1:That's true. Self-care right there.
Speaker 2:It is, but it just it just felt nice to really feel like I'm, like I was on my own timeline and I think that it kind of gave me a good reset yeah think that it kind of gave me a good reset, yeah, and then it caused this whole like thought process that if I the people that are going to stay in your life and be your constant supporters, even if you do something that could have a negative outcome or affect them, if they would truly care about you and your well-being, if you're doing like if I, you know, had to do work or like I just really needed some alone time, they're not going to hold it against you and I don't know why it's taken me so long to connect those realizations.
Speaker 2:So my advice was this heavy, heavy guilt that I felt like I didn't go, but I think by feeling that and ending the weekend with such a positive internal connection with myself kind of helped offset that. So it was the action of staying home was my vice, but also a victory, because I showed up for myself, which I haven't done in a long time. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it's kind of nice to know that, like people are going to like show up for you and support you being the best version of yourself, even if it means taking time away from them and, um, maybe not making the best choice in their minds, but the them knowing that you're doing something that's right for you, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Right and I the way I think of it is like if someone showed up to work and all they could do is half ass and that was their best that day. To me, it's way more important for you just not to be there. Do some work on yourself and be alone with yourself and come back authentically.
Speaker 1:Take a personal wellness day yeah, or a weekend, or a personal day yeah, or a weekend, yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, to make this a little bit more funny, because I was heavy, I do want to just mention advice I know that some of the girly pops on here have seen these onion boils on the tiktok oh my god, you showed me, I've shown you like six or seven times and I'm just like oh my god, they just look so good it's like kind of like a blooming onion right, but like without the deep fried part.
Speaker 2:Yes, and it's gonna make me emotional? Not really, because do you know that you have to bake it in the oven for an hour? So somehow after time sauteing all the other shit, hard boiling eggs, but making sure they're not too cold in the ice bath so it can still warm back up, I put them over basmati rice and I spent like so much money on all these different spices. Kyle, it tasted awful, oh no. And to call back to one of the things you previously said about your probiotics, I had the worst gas. I've never been woken up by a scent, yeah.
Speaker 1:Was it the eggs or the onions?
Speaker 2:All the seasonings on top of it, was it the eggs or the onions? All the seasonings on top of it.
Speaker 1:I literally had to come downstairs to get a glass of water.
Speaker 2:To cleanse my palate. I had to sleep with only a top sheet on, because I'm not trapping that in there. Did it blow off the sheet? I almost would much rather have an experience of me shitting my pants in the car again than to have to go through what I went through last night. Wow me constantly farting and me constantly waking up between my crazy ass fucking chantix dreams uh-huh, it was just a wild ride were you in hell and there was some like fire and brimstone and a dragon and one of them.
Speaker 2:I'll share quickly. Then we have to end um, I'm definitely afraid of rattlesnakes any snakes in general, and I had one and I'd go back to sleep and it would literally start where the last dream left off and it woke me up six times in one night wow, yeah, not just your farts oh, also, my victory is I could it could be that I was cocky and I went on a go-kart racing date with someone who actually like races cars and I won two out of the three races.
Speaker 2:That's your victory. Yeah, I listed a lot. Oh, you have a lot of victories and races. Well, they can decipher.
Speaker 1:All right. So if you guys want to share your Halloween stories, please write in to our email at unfamouslyunwell, at gmailcom. Follow us on Instagram at unfamouslyunwell at gmailcom. Follow us on Instagram at unfamouslyunwell and send us a text with your victories and vices, your fun Halloween stories. We want to know what you were for Halloween, what you dressed up as and any crazy stories that you had along the way. And other than that, we'll see you next week for regular, scheduled programming. Hashtag to be continued Until next week.
Speaker 2:We wish you well. Boo, I was going to say raid some tombs or something.
Speaker 1:Well, not too. Thanks for listening to another episode of Unfamously Unwell, the unrated podcast hosted by your two favorite Seattle homosexuals on a journey to higher health. Listen each week as we deep dive into a new topic and give you all the dirty details of our successes and failures along the way.
Speaker 2:You can send us your questions, feedback or share your own victory advice by writing to unfamouslyunwell at gmailcom or by clicking the link at the bottom of the description to shoot us a text. We'd love to hear from you and share your stories on the pod.
Speaker 1:We'll see you back here next week for another un.