Is there any updates you want to get from your previous week?
Speaker 2:I went to two Christmas parties. One of them was for your ex.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And then the other one was a cookie party, cookie exchange, cookie exchange kind of party, but also a cookie rating. We all voted on which cookie that we thought was the best.
Speaker 1:Yours weren't, because they were out and stale for a week.
Speaker 2:I made them two days before I felt like they were out there forever. No, I made them on Friday.
Speaker 1:Are you sure?
Speaker 2:Yes, because I put them in my it was like Friday morning, mine were on the plate.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I didn't take from your inside of your cocoon thing but I'd mixed it with my ice cream on Friday, I felt like I was eating a hockey puck A delicious hockey puck, oh okay, but a hockey puck, I don't know, they did like dry out a little bit, but they were still quite delicious. You didn't win.
Speaker 2:No, who won? I even, like, tried to give them what's the right word, like guilt, trip them into voting for me and said that they're my great grandma's recipe. Well, your great grandma has bad taste. They were not. They were not her recipe.
Speaker 1:You lied, and it still didn't get you a win. No See, maybe that's why. That's why you should tell the truth, and you know what?
Speaker 2:won two categories Because there was like best decorated, best flavor, best overall cookie and like best in show or something like that you didn't rent any category no fuck you, fuck you, which one? Who won a fucking dehydrated orange slice dipped in chocolate which honestly did taste amazing. There's not a fucking cookie, but that's not a cookie. There's no flour, there's no butter. Oh, fucking gays in their health and there is sugar, but and it did taste really good was it dark chocolate?
Speaker 1:yeah, with some sea salt on top, it was really good there's one upstairs, you can have it but it's still cheating yeah, someone bought store-bought okay, we get it. You can't. You can't bake, but like you baked, yeah, and you still lost yeah this is your sign to not try as hard I know honestly in general. I know that's why you should always buy things you can just heat up in the microwave or the air fryer I want to do less of that 2025 cooking.
Speaker 2:No more cooking. Less heating things up in the microwave oh yeah yeah, that's not interesting on your list it didn't make my list no.
Speaker 1:But you know what I will have. My people put that in there as a potential for next year, Girl you got to decide for yourself what you want your priorities to be.
Speaker 3:Don't let me dictate, it's not about food no.
Speaker 1:You barely eat as it is, I know, I've been on my hiatus of eating yeah yeah, but I did have an egg on a potato cake this morning.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, you made breakfast for yourself. Good for you, I did. He does cook Sort of.
Speaker 1:Because I told myself start your day with an intention and not a reaction. That's good.
Speaker 2:Where'd you learn?
Speaker 1:that it was from? Oh, I think it was from my book. This is how you Heal, oh I think it's for my book um this is how you heal, or something like that. I finally finished it. Um audiobook, because I told kyle about earlier. He said you can read well I can read people for phil.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, but it was yeah, I think I heard it on there and I thought it was very impactful because I mean I love that, all the chaos that goes on in my life, I feel like I just react to it and I decided I was going to try and I had a very solid work day and it wasn't any less stressful than it usually is, but I was just like I'm just not going to engage with that. We should we name this episode a night of a thousand, a thousand compliments like you just compliment me the whole time you've already insulted my grant, my dead great grandmother's cookies.
Speaker 2:Well, your friend broke.
Speaker 1:Our friend broke David's dead grandmother's cookie holder.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there was no insults involved though.
Speaker 3:What the fuck.
Speaker 1:But it wasn't even your dead grandmother's.
Speaker 2:That's correct.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, I know that this podcast has been primarily about Kyle. What the hell?
Speaker 2:No, I'm teasing, teasing.
Speaker 1:There's been plenty about you I know but not enough. Maybe I'll go solo next year, we'll see imagine me having to like hold myself accountable to record and edit uh-huh. No, that's too much you're right.
Speaker 2:Half the reasons you show up to record are because you feel guilty? I'm here waiting for you to record with.
Speaker 1:Fair. So this episode. Last week we recorded an episode called the Unwelly Awards. Yes, and it reflected that was a lot of fun it reflected on all the unwell things and all the crazy, fun, wild things we did this year, and this episode is going to be more about just wrapping up the year and I started doing this when I first moved to Seattle is reflecting on the year and answering a bunch of questions.
Speaker 1:And journaling yes, and journaling and writing a letter to myself for the. You know, this year I wrote a letter to myself for 2026, Caleb, and I think it's just a good like level set and assess to where you are and all that, what has happened?
Speaker 2:as a good, you know, leaving 2024 yeah, this is almost like a public letter to ourselves, but also like an open dialogue and discussion with you. Know our listeners about you, know what we want 2025 to look like, what 2024 looked like and what we're going to change, what's going to be different. And obviously we want to hear about your year in Wrapped and what your intentions are for the next year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think it just creates I don't know. It's a good way to summarize all the stuff that we've done. And like accountability.
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't do all the time, yeah, but if it's public, people are going to know and they're going to be like Caleb you said you weren't going to do that and you're doing it.
Speaker 1:So you listen to podcasts? You're a fan. Oh my god, I love my fans.
Speaker 2:Don't speak to me. No, we don't take pictures. No, we don't do that.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I think this is a good thing that I used to do with a close friend and an ex each year, Like we would answer them separately and then kind of talk about it with someone Like a long list of questions, yeah someone who like means a lot to you to review, so they can like either like call you out and say, like are you fucking serious? Or be like no, I actually really noticed this about you, or I think it's a good activity to do with someone that means a lot to you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, love it, let's get into it. Yeah, we're going to start off lighthearted and we're going to get into our, like, top music picks for 2024.
Speaker 1:Or like are we doing Spotify wrapped?
Speaker 2:I think that, like we, I have a lot of pride that none of mine are Charlie, sabrina or chapel Um okay, I can't say that that's true for me, but I do want to like challenge you to go beyond like just what spotify you know wrapped told you and think about, like what songs really like resonated with you in 2024 that's a good question.
Speaker 1:I do. I think we should share quickly what our top five are and then from spotify yeah, because I think that's a good like preface so people can like. Okay. Well, you're telling me this song meant a lot to you, but where was it? Where was it?
Speaker 3:where did?
Speaker 2:it show up well that's the thing is like. When I review my like top listen to songs, they're always just like songs that were on my gym playlist or you know whatever like seasons playlist that I listened to the most. But there are so many like really good ones from like earlier in the year that didn't get as many like listens, or later in the year that didn't get as many listens but I liked more than the ones that were earlier but I just like had more time to listen to them throughout the year.
Speaker 1:That makes sense. You know, a lot of mine get thrown off because I always make concert playlists and depending on how early I make the playlist in correlation to when the concert is exactly like last year my top one was beyonce, because I went to her concert and I there's a lot of songs I didn't know, so I like listened to it non-stop. Um, I think the song that I like resonate with the most is a Pink song.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, I love a Pink song, I know.
Speaker 1:I just keep finding it. All I Know so Far by Pink.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, so good and.
Speaker 1:I actually have a quote from it in my car that says like let the walls crack because it lets the light in. And yeah, I like a good empowering song yeah, because my, you know, trust fall.
Speaker 2:That's like one of my favorites from like a couple years ago, but it's so good she, I don't, she just doesn't.
Speaker 1:She is a big artist and I but like I don't feel like people are, like she is a little underrated in my opinion, because I think that, like when you ask people like what, who's your like top 10?
Speaker 2:like female, like female artist? Like she probably isn't like in the top 10.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:What would she be for you?
Speaker 1:I probably wouldn't even like. Now that I'm like in my pink bag, which I'm really not, I'd say like top 10. Yeah, but not top five.
Speaker 2:No, but also like she just is vocally is phenomenal too, but I wouldn't like choose her as my top vocalist either. Yeah, she is in like a weird gray space, but I love her props to pink with an exclamation mark at the end yeah, so that's the song I probably resonate with the most.
Speaker 1:What about you?
Speaker 2:I really liked um casey musgraves album. Oh, I don't like her, but but go ahead, okay. Well, I fucking adore her and she just like sounds like an angel. And the song that I picked is Architect and basically it like talks about like is there this like architect who's like in charge of like all living things? Or like the world spinning, or whatever Like obviously like a god, you know, or like the world spinning, or whatever Like obviously like a God, you know, but like using different words to describe it, making it feel like accessible to someone who's like more spiritual and not like religious. And yeah, I don't know, I just really liked the message of it. Go through your top five.
Speaker 1:Number one is Hometown by Annie Tracy. Okay, you probably don't even know that.
Speaker 2:No, I don't. I think you've tried to make me sing it on karaoke, but I was like I don't know this one.
Speaker 1:It's the song that goes like you don't follow, but you watch my stories. Come to my shows, but don't clap for me. Whoa, okay, I like that. And then third one is my Idols Lie to Me by. How do you pronounce that? Ayanna, ayanna, ayanna Lee? I don't know Ayanna Lee. And then number four For the Streets by Anaya. We went to that concert together.
Speaker 1:And then Thing you Do by Tori Kelly, number five, which is interesting, the bottom three, bottom two, shocked by Okay, this is the other thing that like kind of gets me about spotify wrapped is.
Speaker 2:I downloaded another app where I can like import, you know, all of my spotify data and it like analyzes it and then it gives you like how many times you listen to these songs and I had like a tori kelly song in my top five on through like the other app.
Speaker 2:So I think there's like some weird like spotify push to like have the sabrina carpenters, the chapel roans in people's like top artists yeah, because people are going to post it more and I wonder if they're marketing budgets or they're paying them right or if it's more of like a recency thing, like these are your top artists, because you listen to the most in the last couple of months versus like the entire year, and I really want to know, like neutral playing field, like what, what artists like really were my top played?
Speaker 1:well, do you have? Did you screenshot your top artists of the year? Because mine mine's a little different than my top songs. Yeah, okay, then wait, did you share your top songs?
Speaker 2:my top songs were super graphic, ultra modern girl I just fucking love. You showed me that during pride and I was like wait it's so good I was such a hater then and it's like it's no one's favorite album or favorite song from the album, but it was definitely like my first love from her album and I played it a lot. Yeah, from chapel moan, chapel roone, yeah chapel moan chapel moan, oh yeah, oh.
Speaker 2:Number two was houdini by dua lipa, which I also think that that's like a a recent or like a latency thing because, like, it came out first, but I listened to the, the whole album um radical optimism so many times and these walls was definitely like. I definitely listened to it more than did you hear?
Speaker 1:have you heard? Listened to her live album at that? Albert alberton or albert hall or yeah, whatever hall, oh she could sing.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I love her I think that would like. If I had to pick like not based off data, but just like the, the album that resonated with me the most, I'd say that album was probably my favorite slay okay, number three three was ariana grande, yes, and yes, which also everyone hated on that album it's like, of course, the single is going to like have more listens to than the rest of the songs in the album because it came out, like you know, months before.
Speaker 1:But I I really liked the we can't be friends, yeah, well I think that entire, because it wasn't super long and a lot of people were like, oh, that album shouldn't have been nominated, for I loved it. I well, we both were going through breakups when it came out, but, like we, I loved it.
Speaker 2:I have it on my vinyl wall upstairs because it's, it's such a slag, it's so good okay, number four was red wine, supernova. Okay, also great chapel, chapel moan. And then I don't know where this one came from, but I kind of love it. It's whatever by kygo and ava max. You know the. It's like a shakira sample, yeah, we heard that. We listened to it, yeah at the concert interesting which I do love that song and I love ava max that's in my 2024 playlist.
Speaker 1:Okay, because I make a playlist every year. I used to do best season, but that one's in it and I heard it the other day I was like, wait, this is, it's so good, it's so good yeah, slay, yeah. Um, okay, what, who is your top? Because only one of my top artists is in one of my top songs.
Speaker 2:My top artist was Sabrina Carpenter.
Speaker 1:You are Carpenter.
Speaker 2:But that's what I mean. Like none of her songs were in my top songs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you spread your listening across multiple of her songs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I definitely listen to Radical Optimism more than I listen to.
Speaker 1:And is Dua in your top? No, wow, I know.
Speaker 2:It doesn't make any sense. We should write them a letter. Yeah, you should. I can't remember.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, she is she actually is?
Speaker 2:She's number four.
Speaker 3:Liar Okay.
Speaker 1:My top artist was the Veronica's, because we went to that concert and I didn't know anything about them before we met fell in love with them. Yeah, rib cage by them is so good, yeah, um, or like something about this the girl you never want a girl.
Speaker 2:You used to know. Yeah, whatever it is, yeah whatever.
Speaker 1:And then number two is anaya again another concert playlist. Number three was beyonce. I'm shocked by wow. Number four was ariana grande. I'm really shocked by number five because it was later in the year, griff griff.
Speaker 3:I only started listening to her like a week before the concert and I can't get enough.
Speaker 1:I know last night's mascara so good, so good and I showed you the bet radio one version where she mixes it with sabrina. Yeah, so good but um more importantly, I am not a fake fan of our podcast. My, my, um no number? Was it my number one? Yeah, my number one podcast was our podcast. Number two is there's no gays in montana, uh-huh, um which I don't listen to podcasts yeah, so that's pretty much it because I listen to ours, just so we get another download um not just because you want to, like you know, listen to your own content.
Speaker 1:That's fine but what meant a lot to me is someone that I follow. I was scrolling through instagram and we were their number two. Oh wow, yeah, behind npr did they tag us? No rude, but we were their number two podcast. That's really sad.
Speaker 2:We have fans yeah, just are you surprised because you're not even a fan.
Speaker 1:Okay, listen to us.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry. Uh, unfamously unwell was my number three podcast. Number two was there are no gays in montana, and number one you can't really be smart, smartless. Oh, it's just pure comedy gold. I listened to three episodes today so you like tyler and Isaac more than me. I don't know how that's possible as well. Show me the data. Well, Spotify did yeah. Well, I think it's a little bit biased, Like are there episodes longer than us? Is it like by the minute or by the episode? Because we have more episodes than them.
Speaker 2:It is by the minute I think and like. So we must have like shorter episodes.
Speaker 1:Because it tells you how many minutes you listen to podcasts.
Speaker 2:Right, I guess. So which I'd say it's about, even between the two of us.
Speaker 1:I feel okay about my relationship with them because one of them finally registered for Pickleball and now we can finally move forward.
Speaker 2:Thank the Lord.
Speaker 1:I know I felt like a mom. Yeah, you know what Is that? How you?
Speaker 2:feel about with me, they fill about with me, they are like on vacation or something.
Speaker 1:I saw them at the rodeo or something yeah, but tyler, I can tell he's an anxiety girly because he got in right away that doesn't mean he's an anxiety girl. Yes, because I would never want to let someone down like that, so I would have done the same thing okay, or you're just like assertive, proactive. You know there's a million other adjectives for you know being on top of I also judge, because isaac's email was outlook, like your work email, and the rest of us were Gmail girlies Like that.
Speaker 2:So yeah, impersonal Right. Yeah, like, are we even friends? Do you want to be on this team? I'm going to send him the Ariana song. We can't be friends. You're off the team, which I hope they're athletic Me too. Well, they play a lot of gay sports, so Well, kickball. They play other sports too. What I don't know.
Speaker 1:Archery Dodgeball maybe.
Speaker 3:No, they're not dodgeball girls, Okay well, but I'm excited.
Speaker 1:Remember that big, tall man that we played against, that beat us, that beat us. We need to train Tyler to be that.
Speaker 2:I feel like he's going to be in the like more advanced league, but we'll see okay, I have a couple more questions for you about your top songs. Okay, um, is there a song on your like playlist that keeps coming back, like year after year, where it's it's like an oldie but a goodie and it is always in your top 50 or whatever it is for your end of year wrapped.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I got to see her for the first time live this year. It's probably my favorite song of all time. Okay, jess, glenn, don't Be so Hard On Yourself. Oh, yeah, we've talked about this before, yeah, multiple times. There are songs like that I'll take for, like the end, like the songs like I've been adding over the last few weeks that I'll put on my 2025 playlist, like carry over right, and that song has never not been on my playlist since it came out.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, that's exactly the answer that I wanted it.
Speaker 1:It well, you're welcome. I'm a good study.
Speaker 2:You, yeah, you, thank you.
Speaker 1:You got the assignment well, you probably based the question off your audience. Um yeah, that one I it's still to this day makes me cry like it's just very emotive to me. Yeah, what about you?
Speaker 2:mine is dancing on your own, dancing on my own by robin. It just comes out like every pride season and I play it like a ton all summer long and it doesn't matter where you are if you're like dancing in the club or on a boat or you know whatever.
Speaker 3:In Mexico yeah.
Speaker 2:In Mexico having a house party. Like everyone loves that song, so I played a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sly, yeah, okay, you have more questions for me. No, that was it More questions. I know, yeah, slay, yeah, okay, you have more questions for me?
Speaker 2:no, that was it more questions, I know. But then I like went through and I realized, oh, we kind of just covered all of them, okay before we get into more emotional topics, what was your favorite concert of the year?
Speaker 2:oh, I gotta go with the simmel concert with the seattle symphony. It was a lot fun. And just to like see an artist perform that's from Seattle, who's like always dreamed of performing with the Seattle Symphony, who, if you don't know about Simmel the lead singer, is also, or used to be, part of Barcelona, the band Barcelona, the band barcelona, barcelona and um started his own music project called simmel and, but it's from seattle and um. Just getting to see someone's dream come true, like that was so cool and the music was amazing and his voice is like hauntingly gorgeous you are a supportive girly yeah like you, love witnessing people experience the greatness that life has to offer oh, that's a good way to put it, because that's what it felt like
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, it's very motherly in a way, but like you just you're excited for other people to win, yeah, to have victories, yeah, and you get to like see that and that's like a really cool thing to experience.
Speaker 1:So my favorite part about concerts is when people just have that like holy fuck like I made it like so many artists sold out madison square garden this year, to the point I was like, is it hard to do anymore? Right, because so many people did it? Yeah, which could we do it? No, we're going on tour. I probably won't even show up I'm having a bad day.
Speaker 2:I missed my flight. What if I have a bad day? You missed my flight.
Speaker 1:That's why this podcast could never go on the road.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 1:But I did get to see one of my favorite artists, jess Glenn, and I got to see her sing Don't Be so Hard On Yourself, live.
Speaker 2:I boohooed the entire time.
Speaker 1:I also got to see Renee Rapp Love her. I also got to see Renee Rapp Love her, but I think up there vocally. Tori Kelly, yeah, she's laid. The other one was Jessie Murph. I saw her here last year and again, her voice alone just brings me to tears. But that doesn't count.
Speaker 2:It was last year.
Speaker 1:No, but I saw her this past spring for the second time.
Speaker 2:Okay, got it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so Tori Kelly and Jesse Murph.
Speaker 2:Jesse Murph's song what's it called.
Speaker 1:What Happened to Ryan.
Speaker 2:Nope, it's a duet.
Speaker 1:Oh, someone in this Room, someone in this.
Speaker 2:Room that album man, that gets me.
Speaker 1:But her, you know, that's the type of vocalist I love that, just like her voice alone draws the emotion of the song.
Speaker 2:And it's like, so distinct, like you know exactly who's singing it as soon as she opens her mouth and she sounds like that live, yeah, oh wow.
Speaker 1:She has an unreleased song. That's one of my favorite songs also. It's called Wild Flowers and Wine. You told me about this. It makes me cry because it talks about how your mom deserves better love than she's received yada, yada, yada. That's enough about music.
Speaker 2:Okay, the next question that I have is about the most influential people in your life in 2024. So who really stood out to you as people that maybe, like, helped guide you down like a path that you, like, weren't expecting to go down, or were there to support you in making decisions that you needed to make, or whatever you know, whatever that means to you as most influential?
Speaker 1:Shockingly, my first answer is going to be my ex, because I know that a splitting wasn't because someone didn't care, but it also was. It put me on a path of, I don't know, reconnecting with myself, figuring things out. Yeah, he gave me a new transition in life, because I heard this quote the other day, talked about how life is only about transitions and the final transition being death. But you transition between jobs.
Speaker 1:You transition between friendships and locations where you live and relationships, yeah, and some transitions are harder than others. But, like without him doing that, I would have stayed in a relationship that would have worked. So I'm very appreciative of him, which you know. Even a few months ago I don't think I would have said that, no. I would say that's a good answer. Thank you, yeah. Can you believe that she noodled that? Just that.
Speaker 2:No, I would say that's a good answer.
Speaker 1:Thank you. Yeah, can you believe that she noodled that Just now? Yeah, my second would be I don't know, there's a lot of relationships that I had with people that kind of let me down, but it put me in a headspace of like growing up.
Speaker 2:You learn something from it. Yeah, like whether it was a positive or negative relationship, you learn something about yourself from it Another, the other influential person.
Speaker 1:she actually died this year with my mom all. I think, that her place in my life has always been like she didn't give a fuck what anyone thought or said. She always treated me just for me as I am. Yeah, and her passing made me realize I don't know I'd work with death all the time.
Speaker 1:but it really really impacted me, because I've never really had any other deaths like as an adult in my life. To time is short, not to waste it, yada, yada, yada. My third one, of course, would be you, kyle, um, oh and lord, whenever you showed up to my birthday party and I was like I'm not gonna be friends with this man because we hung out independently and you were going through a breakup. Then you showed up to my birthday, hung out independently and you were going through a breakup. Then you showed up to my birthday party and been like, oh, you just went through a breakup. I'm like who the fuck is this man?
Speaker 2:I'm teasing.
Speaker 1:I think that it's been hard for me to open up to you, but you don't force it. But you also are very gentle when I do, but also mix it with reading me for filth at the same time, because I don't want just a friend who's just always gentle, because fuck that yeah so I like to build people up before I tear them down yeah, that's a direct quote you used on a previous episode.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um so, yeah, I do it to you all the time I would say you'd be a top three and then tied for fourth would be lindsey and tristan. Oh yeah, and I think they both bring things. Lindsey was an unexpected, like closer connection because I've had met her before this year. But um, seeing her grow and being vulnerable and sharing like all this creativity that she's working through, yeah, um has been very empowering, inspiring um. And then tristan, she's the girl in my life who just acts the most like me and I just am down to clown, yeah, but also will show up and call me out and be supportive. So, yeah, those I have five, but they're scoring a four Okay.
Speaker 3:Because two of them tied, okay, okay.
Speaker 1:Which I would not have thought my ex would have been the first one.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I mean honestly, it makes sense the way that you explained it, though, honestly, it makes sense the way that you explained it, though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, what about you? Who's been?
Speaker 2:the most influential, most impactful, most supportive whatever term you want to use it. I think my top person is definitely Lindsay and this is Lindsay from Peace Love Local from episode nine of the first season. And shop now. Shop now, yeah, um, what is it peacelovelocalshop like? We've always been like close friends, but we've gotten closer over the last year and I don't, I don't know why. Maybe it's just that we've been like spending more and more time together, and I think it's that she can make light of the most serious things that are going on and make it feel like she understands where you're coming from, that she's been through it too and that there's like a safe path out of it.
Speaker 1:And she does it with such poise and grace. Yeah, and it's not just like the same chaotic responses like Tristan or I give. She does it where, like it's wisdom, but like I don't I get what you're saying. I guess that poise and grace is the best, but also like she'll be there with you in the middle of a rave or the club or doing all these chaotic things too. Yes, so it's nice that like, because very rarely do you get like a friend that you love going to the club with. That also is a great best friend.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Because we talked about how people have different, right, who's also like grounded?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know, the best thing about life is having such a strong foundation and base to explore from and you can only explore as far as your kite string, in this analogy, will allow you to, and I feel like she has the longest kite string. She's lived so many lives. Yeah, and I'm just like I want to like have a kite string that long and just be like fearless and be able to, like you know, travel far away from that like sturdy foundation, and know that at some point I'm gonna reel myself back in and land on sturdy ground and I feel like when I'm with her I can do that what was the single best thing that happened to you this year?
Speaker 1:Oh God, okay. But while you're thinking on it, I wanted to speak on a topic that I, when I was answering these questions, I had such a tough time picking out the positives or the good things that happened this year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then in my book, which you've mentioned before, it talked about negativity, bias, okay, and how we allow one or two or a few negative things overshadow all the great positive things, and I've come back to this question list to answer so many times and each time I just feel so hypercritical of myself and there are so many bad things. But what I think is different about this year is the great or the wonderful things are in the small details of the year, yeah, and not these grandiose adventures or grandiose experiences, mm-hmm. So yeah, while you're thinking on that, I just wanted to touch on that because this was really tough for me to answer, because I was like God.
Speaker 1:I just sound like I'm fucking negative, nancy.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I would say, the best thing that happened to me this year. That's the question. I would say it's the freedom that I had this year to redefine and like rediscover what's important to me. And it took like losing my job and breaking up with my boyfriend in order to do that, but at the end of the day, it brought me this like big opportunity to like have this like space and time where I didn't have like a ton of um obligations and expectations set upon me, where I could, you know, take some time to really figure out, like kyle, what do you want?
Speaker 1:and I'm still figuring it out, but like, listen to yourself, yeah, and not be so overwhelmed with the distractions that all those other things like bring. We talked about this and how I think identity crisis are people just dropping a bomb and like disrupting their lives.
Speaker 1:So much to silence all of that yeah and it takes huge changes for you to finally get reconnected to yourself, because it almost brings you out of such a comfortable environment that you're so uncomfortable that you're just like, okay, this is so vastly different. The only person that has remained the same in this is myself, and I need to start listening to that.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I was listening to that in my book yesterday. It was talking about trying to get reconnected with yourself. Start with small things like trying new foods and like do I like this, Do I not like this? And to grow that intuition and that trust in your gut.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, and I've definitely been on like a long couple month journey figuring that stuff out. Slay, yeah, what about you?
Speaker 1:Single best thing. This was the hardest one for me to answer.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:What I find sometimes with this podcast is I'll write stuff down like almost like this is like what people want to hear.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that's not genuine to me, right, I think you're really good at that Second guessing yourself, in the best sense of that phrase. You know that makes sense yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I could be like what I just said was bullshit. I actually don't believe it.
Speaker 2:Literally like within the same sentence no, I do not.
Speaker 3:No, I do not yes, I do no.
Speaker 1:I do not.
Speaker 1:So I wrote down the podcast and I don't mean that negatively, like it was one of the top things for me because it allowed me, it challenged me and it held me accountable. I think the single best thing that happened to me this year was I don't want to sound like a broken record, but I don't give a fuck because it feels more genuine was my breakup. Yeah, I almost said that too, because I would have kept going on that course of life until the other person told me they didn't want me, and I think that he did me a service unintentionally probably of my light was dwindling and I could feel it, but I didn't. I wasn't paying any attention and although this has probably been the toughest year that I've experienced, um of my adult life, I think that it's the biggest year of growth because it's not like oh, I went through breakup and I moved across the country. Look at me now.
Speaker 3:It's.
Speaker 1:I'm having to rebuild in the same foundation that it all came tumbling down. I couldn't run and then like distract myself. I couldn't run and like, oh, look over here, or I had to learn.
Speaker 2:Sit with it yeah.
Speaker 1:And I feel like I've sat with it a lot this year and it's challenging me to show up better for myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good answer, good answer. Yeah, good answer, good answer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I did put down the podcast first so I was like that's such a politically correct answer, but it doesn't seem genuine Rude Like you're fine.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Obviously, I listen to this podcast the most, so yeah, not me.
Speaker 2:It's my third best thing, I know.
Speaker 2:I will say, though, that the benefits of this podcast have been way surpassed my expectations of what we started it as Agreed, which was just like a way for the three of us to get together and like to chat and catch up and share kind of our perspective on gay culture, which I think that we're talking about, things that a lot of people are not talking about, at least publicly, and I think that that's important for you know, that information to be out there and for it to be normalized and, to you know, have it on a public platform for people to access. So, in that sense, yeah, that's kind of what I expected to get out of it. But, above and beyond that, the relationships that we've built with you know, other podcasters in Seattle, the relationship that we've built with each other and how it's brought us closer together, and the camaraderie and like going out talking about it with people at gay bars and having that positive feedback resonated back to me, was another unexpected benefit to it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree with all of what you said. Especially, I don't think we would be as close if we didn't do this, because it kind of not forced. We would still like hung out and obviously we live together. But I think that it created a space that you can be vulnerable, you can share, you can go deep, you can be silly. All other times I've been the most vulnerable on this episode, on this podcast, has been the amount of time that I've gotten the most positive feedback, yeah, and that people resonate with it more like when you were uh admitted to needing intervention from franzia.
Speaker 1:Get fucked and I, and you know I gave it up. I gave up franzia. Now I'm on my charter, joe's box, box, right. But I've also like there's like why am I telling the internet? I shit myself. Why am I telling the internet? I hooked up in a honey bucket, like there's a lot of chaos that goes on in my life, that like I would only pick certain people to know.
Speaker 1:But all of the vulnerability that we've shared, especially in this year, I think that it was the perfect timing for the podcast and our lives. Yeah, Because, like I think we would have given BS answers years prior. It is freeing. You know what? That's the best way to describe the podcast. It's been very freeing, yeah, because then, like, oh, y'all chose to listen to it, not me. I didn't force this on you.
Speaker 3:Oh my god. And like, if you don't want to hear it, then you just don't listen to it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so yeah, it's been very freeing, love it.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, next question for you.
Speaker 1:What's the biggest hurdle that you've had to overcome this year? Numbing your problems will make them go away or make them quieter. It honestly does the opposite. The longer you numb, the louder your problems become. Is that a quote? It the longer you numb, the louder your problems become. Is that a quote? My biggest hurdle was um the amount of self doubt and self negative talk that I've had.
Speaker 2:That's where I thought you were going with that quote.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, before I was interrupted, um, uh, I should have been like oh, I have a quote for you.
Speaker 3:Should have started there.
Speaker 1:Right, but I think that I've been very hard on myself all year and that's been a hurdle that I've struggled with in the past, but I I usually would have dealt with it better, but this year I've tried to numb it out a lot between being busy with work or just busy in life, or wine, or just lots of different avoidant tactics. Yeah, because I don't know, it's very tough to speak positively of yourself when you feel like your worth was placed on someone else and you lose that person. So of course you're just going to like speak negatively to yourself.
Speaker 1:But, I've been running from it all year instead of just dealing with it head on. So it's been my biggest hurdle and I still haven't gotten over it. Yeah, the hurdle yet, because I was trying to, you know, be positive and speak highly of myself, but it's not easy.
Speaker 2:No, I think everyone struggles with that.
Speaker 1:Honestly, yeah, a lot and I've dealt with it my entire life.
Speaker 1:But I think that it's always been in like one area, like when I was in college, like oh, I failed that test, or I haven't been doing great at school, or I haven't been doing great at a relationship or haven't been doing great at this, but or I haven't been doing great at school, or I haven't been doing great at a relationship, or I haven't been doing great at this, but this year it feels like it's been happening in multiple areas. So I think that that's why I chose to numb it out is because I didn't know how to deal with all of these different negative self-doubts that I was going through or have been going through. What can you do better in 2025 to be better at your job? I don't have a job, a career or um I could um apply to a job.
Speaker 1:I was gonna. You know what, we can skip this one, but I was gonna tell you when I say something like I could learn to trust my instinct or know my work at a job or like trust my gut and like know what I bring to the table, or like I already know all that.
Speaker 2:Okay, I think that I've also learned this year that I'm a really good people manager, and I didn't think I wasn't sure that I was in the past. But yeah, I guess, just like looking back, I would.
Speaker 1:I would give myself a pat on the back yeah, because you see the worth so easily in other people, whether it be professionally or romantically or in your private life, even strangers.
Speaker 2:You see it, zach, on the fucking side of the street blood on his knees that we helped get up. I think it comes down to understanding why each individual person shows up on your team to work, like whether that's for a paycheck, whether that's for like work experience, whether that's for like a better title, you know, whether it's just to like pass the time because they have nothing else to do. And knowing, like, how do you motivate those people to show up as the best version of themselves? Do you motivate those people to show up as the best version of themselves and how do you incentivize them to grow their skill set? You know, grow within the company.
Speaker 2:When I think that a lot of people just like take one standard approach to management and they treat everyone the same and that doesn't really work in my eyes, because everyone's showing up differently. Everyone has different backgrounds, experiences and motivations for coming to work. And if you just are, you know, giving someone a three or three to 5% raise every year and hoping that that's going to motivate them to, you know, come back year after year, I don't think that really works. Okay, what were your like? Good or bad, or, like you know, best or worst habits of the year?
Speaker 1:kyle, don't even look at me like that uh-huh uh, start with, start with good, okay none I did. No, I did.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh, you got nothing. I was just telling you how I numbed out all of the year. Thank you, that's not good.
Speaker 3:I know that's not like it feels, very important.
Speaker 2:Do you want me to sing your 12 days of Shut up?
Speaker 1:No, Okay, my good habits of the year. I think that you brush your teeth every morning.
Speaker 2:Yes, and every night that's a win your bath time, your yeah yeah, your self-care routine.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I mean bath time's one of them. Bath time Adding bath oil.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because if it's drying my skin, why not hydrate it Exactly?
Speaker 3:A little bath oil.
Speaker 1:But I can answer the Bad yeah, okay, vaping wine avoidance. Uh-huh, not responding to people, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah, that's plenty, that's plenty.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, that's plenty, that's plenty. Yeah, honestly, I don't think any of them are like that bad. I mean, we give a different advice every single week and we've talked about all, all of those in the past, um, but what are you going to do different about 2025 to change those habits?
Speaker 1:that's a good, oh, that's a good way to frame that Cause they're not. I felt a lot of guilt to sharing them, but going into the new year, they're not habits that are holding me back.
Speaker 2:The habit is like not using them as a crutch anymore.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but the habits that are holding me back are the self doubt and like like a habitual, you know, negative self-doubt and like like a habitual you know negative self-talk or you know what. The biggest thing that's uh heard me this year like as far as habits go, is not being in a routine. I thrive on a routine and I noticed that today I had my whole routine throughout the morning and through the day, and look at me thriving.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Actually showing up to record this podcast, I'm going to plus one that for me as well.
Speaker 1:But why is? And I think maybe it's the ADHD brain, but whenever I'm not feeling so great, I'm like fuck that routine.
Speaker 2:The routine.
Speaker 1:I'm just going to react to everything throughout my day and not have an intention about it.
Speaker 2:And that's when I have the worst days, yeah, and in reality the routine is like what's you know? Bringing it back to center.
Speaker 1:Right, I need the predictability to that and low dopamine help me thrive in a day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so more routine, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's how I'm going to better myself. Yeah, I'm going to second that too.
Speaker 2:I was like driving here after dropping off candles for Christmas presents for some of our friends, and I was like man I used to have this saying like when I got back from vacation, like okay, back on the program, you know, like back into the routine, back into like the you know morning workout, the healthy lunch, the you know going to going on a walk after work or whatever. And I think without the routine of like a nine to five job and I don't know having someone at home to like cook dinner for or whatever it was, that was like driving that. The program, as I call it, I've just like completely like demolished my routine, so I definitely need to get back into that how can I better support you in a routine like that?
Speaker 1:because I'm also the one that's like do you want pizza? I know I'm. I'm like the devil on your shoulder it's terrible, honestly it's it's your fault. I can show up for walks. You don't want?
Speaker 2:to work out with me in the morning.
Speaker 1:Absolutely not. I have little tiny three-pound dumbbells, the idea of lifting something heavy at 7 am.
Speaker 2:What about like a wine bottle? No, just lift the wine bottle.
Speaker 1:I'll go on walks with you. Okay, I don't enjoy working out and it doesn't help me mentally. Yeah, going on walks.
Speaker 2:Let's go on a walk Every evening and we're about to build in some more fit routines, because I think, pickleball is helpful. You know what would be another good one If I join the Planet Fitness and then you go to the tanning bed while I go do some ab crunches.
Speaker 1:I think honestly I'm going to go there to study. Like just get on the treadmill and just answer my questions. Because then it also helps my brain work through things and I'm moving. So that's my thought.
Speaker 2:Okay, let's do that.
Speaker 1:Okay, your turn. Okay. First off, did you have a word for this year, this past?
Speaker 2:year. I don't think I did this year.
Speaker 1:I know it's terrible. That's okay If I did. I just started it two years ago, so Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't remember what it was. Did you have a word?
Speaker 1:of the year I did For 2024?. I did, it was authenticity.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:So what's your word for 2025?
Speaker 2:oh, I wrote down a couple notes, but I think intuition, oh, that's mine no fuck, that's mine, all four of mine.
Speaker 1:I put a. I remember I was like how to do an asterisk and I put wait, I like literally, was just talking to lindsey about this last night intuition this year. My goal is become more in tune with myself and trust my gut seriously wait, I love this period.
Speaker 2:End of sentence. Okay, I, there's this thing.
Speaker 2:I'm like gonna go on a little bit of a tangent that's fine, I'll allow it okay, there's this thing you know, I grew up mormon and there's this thing in the church called um the holy ghost and, like you know, most religions have this concept of the Holy Spirit or whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, amen. Okay, but in the Mormon church it's called the Holy Ghost and, at like a really young age, you're taught that the Holy Ghost is with you at all times. It is like this still small voice inside of you that is always helping guide your decision making and you're taught at like a really young age, to trust that voice, and I feel like it's such a blessing I'm using the religious word, you know hashtag blessed to be told that, at like a really young age, that you can trust yourself, you can trust your gut, and, yeah, they use a religious, you know framework in order to explain it. But I think it's true in you know, a secular sense too, where, like, we don't tell kids to trust their instincts. We tell them this is how you should live your life. These are the decisions that you should make.
Speaker 2:Actually, let me just make them for you and then expect them to grow out, yeah, as adults yeah and I feel like I've I've definitely lost that over time and I've seen people lose that as they get older and older. They trust themselves less and less, and I think that it's really important to be able to like trust your gut, and that's going to be my intention for 2025.
Speaker 1:Oh my God. Yeah, we have the same word for the year. I love it. I was not expecting that.
Speaker 2:Neither.
Speaker 1:Cause I've wrote down four like three other things and I was like for some reason that one, just that's the one.
Speaker 1:Because all of the most I don't know enjoyment that I felt in life, but the most just peace that I felt is and I have mentioned this to several people is if you go with your gut, answer your emotional response like that, even if it's the wrong choice, you're never going to beat yourself up about it because it felt right at that time. Because you're never going to beat yourself up about it because it felt right at that time, right Because you're trusting your gut, right. But if you go with a logic brain, you're like, oh, I should have seen this coming, I should have noticed that I should have done this or I should have tried harder. But if you really allow your gut to be your guide, yeah, you can. You can't beat yourself up near as much because at that time in your life that's what you felt drawn to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's also, like it almost is reassuring yourself, that you trust yourself, and that helps in like other aspects of life too, you know, with your own self. Esteem your own self worth. You know all of it.
Speaker 1:And the more in tune you become with your gut. You can just like, even if you have no logical reasons, like something's off, I need to remove myself in this situation. Or like, I don't know this person very well, but something about like this situation on their fun, or like you just start it naturally, going where life feels like you should be going instead of like fighting against it. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm Slay.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, then I want you to start with your victory of the year. Okay, actually, no, fuck that. Start with your vice. We need to end on victories.
Speaker 2:Okay, I like that. Yeah, Okay, let's get into victory and vice. I'll go first with my vice. So I think my biggest vice of 2024 was that like I hate to say that it's the vice, because I really enjoyed this part of 2024, but it's really that I prioritized my like having fun with my family and friends so much in 2024 that it kind of like overshadowed my desire for like personal growth from like a financial perspective, from a career perspective, from like a health and wellness perspective. Even and yes, those moments are what got me through 2024, because they were so tough, are what got me through 2024, because they were so tough. But it also like kind of took time and resources away from other things that matter too. So I think it's in 2025, I want to like find that a better balance.
Speaker 1:Um, you know I interact with a lot of people in their deathbed. None of them have ever told me the brightest parts of their life or the things that meant the most to them were. Were career, money? Any of that related?
Speaker 2:is about those moments and memories right, and I think that you really needed that this year I did, and it's so different than all the years prior yeah, that's why you probably feel a little bit of guilt about it, and that's why I like I don't want to really like say oh, it's a vice, because I I needed it, like it was so important to my last year to make that the top priority and be feel connected and supported by my family and friends and having fun with them and getting up to shenanigans and distracting myself from some of the shit storm that was going on throughout the year. But you know, hopefully 2025 becomes a little bit more stable and I guess I'm just saying I don't need to go on. You know five gaycations next year.
Speaker 1:For under $2,000,. You should go on 10. Yes, I should. You should go on 10. Yes, I should.
Speaker 2:Yes, I should.
Speaker 1:Because, honestly, this podcast would have been boring without it.
Speaker 3:I guess I have no vice, I guess. I have no vice yeah.
Speaker 1:You get what I'm saying, though. Yes, I'm following. So it's a vice, because it didn't feel as well balanced as you would have liked it Right?
Speaker 2:yeah, oh balance.
Speaker 1:That year, my word for 2024. Yeah, you did not meet that at all, nope nope.
Speaker 2:But you know what, though? Sometimes you have to offset the balance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, to get back on, yeah because then you would have still been balanced, you would have been prioritizing all these logistical things right. So again, you just need to have a britney year.
Speaker 2:I did you just grew a mustache instead of shaving your hair. Yeah, okay, what was your vice um?
Speaker 1:probably biggest vice of 2025, probably social anxiety before. Yeah, okay, that was really detrimental to me this year you struggled with that, yeah, and I think I, in a lot of ways, I prevented it from enjoying a lot of, like, small moments or memories with people, but, um, yeah, that would be my biggest vice. Just to summarize, it would be okay social anxiety and I this is the year that I've really only ever dealt with it, other than when I was mute as a child, I guess.
Speaker 1:But the ultimate form right of social anxiety now all these people know that I speak, so I can't just go mute again it wouldn't be great if you did I'm like, oh, this is my friend kyle or caleb?
Speaker 2:he doesn't, but I just heard him talk last week. No, he doesn't speak anymore, I just whispered in your ear.
Speaker 1:He's not, he's having fun. Yeah, he's having a great time. Where's your bathroom? He needs to go. So communicating to you Um, okay, what's your victory?
Speaker 2:Okay, my, my biggest victory of 2024 was just finding my voice again after being in a relationship where I lost my voice and I was with someone who you know didn't respect my values. And just getting to separate myself from all of that and rediscover you know what my real values are and just like being proud of who I am yeah, slaying and you've surrounded yourself with people that are building you up.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you're great. You're great right, and just keep doing what you're doing yeah, mary slaymas, thank you okay, um what's yours um I think the amount of time that I spent with myself this year, oh yeah, although a lot of it was drowning a lot of things out and numbing. I think that each time it was like almost like small identity crisis. We were just talking about how, like blowing up a bomb to silence everyone.
Speaker 1:I think the time alone that I've had this year gave me small moments of reconnecting with myself that I usually in the past would try to find myself in other people and other activities and being busy. I think my vice of social anxiety really allowed me to just sit with myself, yeah, instead of being so busy, and because, lord knows, at the beginning of this year I wanted to move again.
Speaker 1:And I was hell bent undetermined on doing that and I think that, sitting with myself, I know deep down that I don't need to run for my problems, and that's what that would have been. Yeah, but 2025, low-key. I want to move Same, we'll see.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll have to do this virtually.
Speaker 1:Hi, kyle, where are you? The Bahamas, okay, how is that financial wellness thing you're?
Speaker 2:doing Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is your sixth trip in two months.
Speaker 2:Okay, oh, and you have two Mai Tais in your hand, oh okay.
Speaker 1:Oh well you do have two fists. Why not? Why not? Yeah, is there any last phrase or thing that you want to leave with the listeners to round out the year, or even like a note to your future self?
Speaker 2:I would say be flexible with your New Year's resolutions, be flexible with your goals, because I learned this year that sometimes you're not going to like meet your goals and sometimes you're going to have to like pivot, and it's a hard thing to do. In psychology there's this thing called fictional finalisms. Basically, it's like when you have this very like structured mindset where you set a goal and that goal becomes like an end, all be all and your whole like self worth is tied up into it and you can't imagine your life not accomplishing that goal. And it's like a really maladaptive like mindset to have. Because we find that people who stress themselves out to the point of like exhaustion or, you know, perfectionism, but people who can adapt and change their goals and it doesn't have to be like sweeping changes, but they can make small adjustments to what those goals are and those people are usually the most successful because they end up accomplishing smaller goals and they change those goals. As you know, their environment changes.
Speaker 1:Could that same idea be applied to? Like the mindset, especially being from the South? Oh, same idea be applied to like the mindset, especially being from the South. Oh, I'll be happy when I'm married to have kids, have a job after graduation. And then people who get there, they're like this is not great. Those goals didn't make me happy, right Like, what do I do now, now that I've reached them? Is that like a similar mindset?
Speaker 3:framework.
Speaker 1:Definitely Okay, like a similar mindset framework. Yeah, definitely okay. So I understand that. That makes sense. Um, what about you? Mine is a piece of advice that you've given me is just show up in whatever way or version you can that day, and it's not. It may not be a version that you like or that other people like, but just showing up is half the battle yeah and sometimes you'll surprise yourself true yeah, very true, okay.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you for listening to this week's episode. We want to hear about your fictional finalisms, how maladaptive your thought processes are, and we want to hear about your year in review what you're proud of, what you're not so proud of. And I would love to hear about your year in review what you're proud of, what you're not so proud of.
Speaker 1:I would love to hear people even just who is the most impactful person for them this year, Even just something like there doesn't have to be this grandiose idea, but I would just like to hear because it also is helpful. We're giving our perspective on a lot of things. I would love to hear other people's perspective.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and what word of the year will be and why? So? Shoot us a email to unfamouslyunwell at gmailcom. Follow us on Instagram at unfamouslyunwell and DMS there, or you can click the link in the description and shoot us a text and until next year, until next year, until next year. Oh my gosh. Yeah, we're going to take a little break, but we will see you in the new year. So until next year we wish you well. Happy New.
Speaker 1:Year. That's good. That's better than what I had to say. Okay.
Speaker 2:Thanks for listening to another episode of Unfamously Unwell, the unrated podcast hosted by your two favorite Seattle homosexuals on a journey to higher health. Listen each week as we deep dive into a new topic and give you all the dirty details of our successes and failures along the way.
Speaker 1:You can send us your questions, feedback or share your own victory advice by writing to unfamouslyunwell at gmailcom or by clicking the link at the bottom of the description to shoot us a text. We'd love to hear from you and share your stories on the pod.
Speaker 2:We'll see you back here next week for another unhinged episode of.
Speaker 1:Unfamously Unwell Unrated.