So, kyle, I came home Friday night. You were so kind, you picked me up from the airport, even though it was like a million hours past midnight, it felt like, and my luggage wasn't there After you were stuck on the tarmac, waiting for a gate for an hour and then waiting for your bag, which never came, which still has not been delivered. Yeah, it has.
Speaker 2:It came yesterday, Okay good, thank you for checking.
Speaker 1:And then finally, like two hours after you landed, I was ready to come home, uh-huh, but it was actually quite easy not having to pull luggage on that. That is a positive, but anyway so then, Saturday it was Saturday Kyle's at home doing nothing. I'm at home doing nothing.
Speaker 1:I'm picking candles, other than going to try to fill my fucking Adderall prescription. That wasn't don't even get started any hoosers. So this episode might be wild. I was like, oh, do you want to go to like a dive bar or something? We even toured around with the idea of pickleball, so we go to White Center and Kyle the first thing he did this night to piss me off is he's great at skee-ball for no fucking reason.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't know. It's like a hidden talent, I guess yeah and you know how I was cocky.
Speaker 1:I was like, oh, I for sure can do this. Yeah, I was so bad, yeah, and it pissed me off.
Speaker 2:So we first started with classic skee-ball and who could get the most points in their round, and I won that first round. And then Caleb was like, okay, we're going to change the rules, we're going to, like, do something else. And so then it became like you have to get one of each a 10 point, a 20 point, a 30 point, a 40 point, a 50 point and a hundred point Thank you for listing all of them. Yeah, so that you had to get you know into six holes and those nine balls. Yes, and um, my first try. I get all six of them.
Speaker 1:And it makes me so irate, kyle, because I gave it so much effort, and if I'm not immediately okay at something pisses me off. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So Caleb loses the second round. Then we move on to a new game and we call it like we don't call it anything.
Speaker 3:How?
Speaker 2:many hundreds can you get, so game, and we call it like we don't call it anything. How many hundreds can you get?
Speaker 1:so basically you just had to get at least a 100 in order to qualify to win. And uh, you got on your first try. I got on my first try. Caleb did not get any. I got nine ten points yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:so anyways, caleb.
Speaker 1:uh, we bet a round of drinks for each one, so Caleb owed me three rounds of drinks, which is wild, because why would I do that after we had already played a couple rounds and I've lost miserably and I'm like, yeah, let's do it, because I'm like I'm confident I can do it.
Speaker 2:Couldn't.
Speaker 1:Never hit $100. I was paying for the skee-ball. That's fair. Those $4, really comparable to me losing and buying. Drink those $4, really comparable to me losing and buying drink.
Speaker 2:But then we were like, okay, we're in White Center. There's this cool kind of dive bar across the street from where we were and it's called Tim's Tavern and I was like, let's go see what's happening over there. And my friend, erin Doyle, hosts this event every year, called Our Fest, and it's kind of like a punk rock festival where she puts together different acts that are kind of in that punk rock genre and drag queens that are more in the Cantissimo.
Speaker 1:They were all like rock pop bands and drag performers.
Speaker 2:And so we stumbled upon her event happening at tim's tavern and it was so much fun, oh my god. Yeah, they were doing tattoos, they were doing freaking tattoos. They had art, they had art, you had tater tots.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, no, that's art, that's art, fart, fart. Hmm. And then you're like, wait, do we drive back home and take the light rail or uber back here, or do we go to the hill?
Speaker 1:I'm like right, because I didn't want to drive and we also just I was going to be safe, yeah and we also just spoke to um lindsey, who is telling us about her wild not out friday and you're like I want to have a night like that. I'm like, and I think even you said let's do it for the plot, and I was like I want to have a night like that. And I'm like, and I think even you said let's do it for the plot, and I was like, okay. So then after that you're like let's go to my fav. I'm like let's go to my fav and we will continue this story at the end. Stay tuned, it's juicy. But yeah, I did use chat gbt to write an outline. It does a pretty good job. So I asked it initially give me five thought-provoking questions to ask on a podcast about visiting back home as an adult gay man. And it gave me the five questions and then it said.
Speaker 1:Would you like me to turn this into an outline? Absolutely, and uh, what are some of the other questions? Oh, what is something you wish, younger, you could have known about returning home as a future gay self? What a wild question. Oh, that is good, yeah, and is there a moment or a place in your hometown that now feels completely different to you, and why?
Speaker 2:those are very thought-provoking. I know I'm provoked you're always provoked.
Speaker 1:That's me being provoked, okay. Well, I have so many, okay. So first off this episode we're going to talk about two little gays going back to their hometown, what that relationship looks like, how we've evolved with the relationships we have with people family, friends, relationship to the city itself.
Speaker 1:Um, we have several thought-provoking questions that I did not write um, yeah, and I think we're going to navigate um by sharing some stories, but then also like giving advice or tips, or like you're not alone if you feel this way, going back home, because I feel like there's a weird guilt that's associated with some of the feelings that you feel.
Speaker 3:They're not all positive.
Speaker 1:When you go back home, you're like this is my motherland and I don't like it, you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We both recently visited our hometowns, which is Knoxville, Tennessee and Sonoma.
Speaker 2:California. You're so Californian why Every time I say Sonoma, california, people go oh, sonoma. I'm like you don't have to say it with a weird British accent.
Speaker 3:It's wild, I don't say it like that, but everyone thinks it's like.
Speaker 2:So pish posh, because William Sonoma is bougie, I guess william sonoma maybe that's how you say it, sonoma no, that's not how you smirma hush posh, smirsh, smir. But you know what?
Speaker 1:I'd rather get that than well, tennessee and tennesseeans, we didn't have a particularly fond view of the Californians, for whatever, reason Californians don't have a fond view of Tennesseans Because they think we're dumb. And is that true? I'm not dumb, I just was correct about Jesus. You didn't know that, so that alone busts that myth.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, we're about to bust a lot of myths about hometown visits and what it means to visit your hometown as a gay person. That's maybe left a small town or a conservative town for the big city.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and just the relationships with the town itself, the people, family, friends, maybe even exes, right, or like seeing people from high school. It's a whole new level. If you live in the same town, you're going to be running into people, but when you go back you're like ugh.
Speaker 2:Well, I feel like there's a lot of trauma, like stored trauma in hometowns for gay people because they grew up maybe in a place that wasn't accepting Knoxville Tennessee. Mm-hmm, you know, sonoma, they grew up maybe in a place that wasn't knoxville, tennessee. You know, sonoma, didn't I mean, but like you know, you were bullied, probably in high school. You, uh, you don't think so, it definitely was but like that seems like really pointed. I'm calling out. Yeah, I'm calling out so caleb was a bully.
Speaker 1:No, I was bullying, I probably did some bullying Right, like a little, just like tearing people down on the internet. You know, oh, you're a cyber bully. No, that movie Cyber Bully actually makes me cry every time I see it, anyway. So, yeah, we're talking about that and I think one of the things whenever we did the previous soft open I talked about, like the emotions, tips and advice and about, like you know, processing those emotions, going back home, changing the relationship If you kind of have a negative viewpoint of your hometown, and then also just like normalizing the conversation of some of the emotions Because, like I said earlier, I feel like there's weird guilt, kind of intermingled, intertwined with some of that. Okay, how has your definition of home changed since coming out and what is going back now? Bring up emotionally.
Speaker 2:Well, I would say, growing up I felt like Sonoma was like a really small town and there wasn't a lot of space for queer kids to be themselves or to embrace you know the differences that they had.
Speaker 2:At least that's how I felt. Then I, you know, also being close to San Francisco, felt like, oh, it's not that far away, where there's this whole world where people accept you for who you are and embrace the fact that it's okay to be different and you know it's celebrated there. And so I kind of had this like dichotomy, I guess, between growing up in kind of like a small rural agricultural town with this huge gay mecca, kind of like at my doorstep there's like this hope, you know this like light at the end of the tunnel, where it's like, oh, I can get out of this little town and I can have space to like just embrace being who I want to be and or just, you know, the space to discover who I want to be and the freedom to do that outside of the confines of a town that you know I grew up in that was kind of trying to repress me or put me into a box that I wanted to, you know, not be in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'd put you in a bag instead and then throw me in the trash.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 1:Just put you in there inside of a box. Okay, it's a little bit more flimsy.
Speaker 2:I'm going to put you inside of a box and then I'm going to smash it with a hammer.
Speaker 1:See, guys, I told y'all last week he actually hates me. After all that I did for you last night, I hope you get the worst ingrown toenail.
Speaker 2:That's never going to happen. I have very good toenails.
Speaker 1:Wow, we get it. You're perfect. You're from Sonoma. They have great toenails in Sonoma. Okay, I'll answer my own question. My definition of home and home has changed. It's almost the complete opposite. You were talking about how you have this big mecca gay city so nearby and the whole world and getting out, but there was never a time in my life that I was like would move out of Knoxville.
Speaker 2:I'm never going to escape. I need to figure out what my identity is here.
Speaker 1:I just didn't know, I've never known, I didn't know of anyone that has moved away. My entire family still lives there, every generation still lives there. It's almost like exposure. I've never been exposed to someone doing that, so I didn't even think it was in the cards or their hands. I think that's how my definition of home has changed, is I thought it was geographically like that is home, but it's not necessarily in a way of yeah, you can have multiple kind of homes, like you know. Like let's say, you have a really good friend in Portland and you visit them, even though we just had that we hate Oregon, um, but that could be a home to you. And then you have your home in your hometown and then where you live currently, like does that make sense? No, like shoot some, never mind.
Speaker 2:never mind, kyle god get my head oh, okay, I have to do. Yes, and what I wanted to know is if you felt like or you didn't didn't have the experience that I did with like having this strong pull to move away from your hometown and get to a place that maybe allowed you to, you know, explore your identity more. Do you feel like you were kind of forced to think about who you are within the confines of your hometown, like, okay, this is what I'm like born into, this is where I'm gonna live the rest of my life. This is all I've ever known and probably ever will know, and, as a gay person, I need to make this like town work for me and work for you. Know who I want to become. Did you feel like that?
Speaker 1:Definitely Because and I think I've realized that that I didn't when I actually lived there. I don't think I ever like thought about that specifically. But now that I go back I realize that all the things that I did or thought, I enjoyed or, you know, did on the day to day didn't necessarily fulfill my life. But I didn't know any other like way. You know.
Speaker 1:So, now that I go back and I'm like I was just trying to make this the best version of my life, only knowing the boundaries of where I'm from. So, yeah, I didn't actually think about it when I was living there, but I did always, like in my gut, know that I was like meant to get out of there.
Speaker 1:I just never thought it was going to be a thing, because then I also had this whole internalized like conflict, that like gay people keep moving out of these kind of more ignorant areas and the best way to help with that ignorance is exposure and like normalize. And so I had this weird like if I leave, I'm not helping our community back home, because you know there was bullying and all this other shit. So you wanted to like, be a beacon.
Speaker 2:You know within your community to be like no, you, actually you can be gay and you can thrive here and you don't have to leave. And you know be an example to other.
Speaker 1:You know queer kids growing up that there is a community here and yeah, and I'm very quick to share my opinion or say out loud or stand up for something and you sure are be real stubborn about it and I feel like not necessarily that I was like this beacon or anything, but I feel like, even like in high school, like normalizing, having the conversation, having the courage and bravery to come out, you know, even though it was met with a lot of backlash, I was still like no, it's way more important for me to be authentic, but not only for me, but like it does help the community, because, like no one out like really was out, like in my grade or anything and now I know of at least more than a handful that are because of me.
Speaker 2:I made so when you went back home, did you feel like, um, the community was different than it was when you grew up there. Or do you feel like there was a little bit more like sparks of hope that things had changed for the better? Or did you kind of fall back into some of the you know traumas that you, you know, or like PTSD syndrome or symptoms? Pussy, that's so delicious, yes, that you, you know, had growing up there.
Speaker 1:I well, you asked me 17 questions in a sentence. So the first one, the community. I think it is more accepted, which is so nice, because then it really and I know like it's not on me to be the change or the voice or whatever, but like it's nice going back and visiting and seeing that there is an improvement and an acceptance, because it takes away that guilt or like conflict that I put on myself about like oh.
Speaker 1:I'm leaving and like, who am I? Like, oh, it's not going to get better if I'm not here. Delusions of rancher yes, but I think that there still is people who, like, will roll down your window and like yell fag at you while you're holding hands and like when I lived there, even though I I was out and proud, I was like I could do without doing that, just so it takes away like a negative interaction. Because for me, like pda, no matter if a gay, straight, whatever, like we, just you just really don't do it in the south yeah, it's kept behind closed doors and at the church pews.
Speaker 1:Um, so now I would do it just intentionally to be like. If someone calls me a faggot, like then stand up or say something to them. Um, like, I even remember when I went to nashville, um for shania twain, and the person that I went with had on the same sparkly see-through pants as me and I saw someone taking a photo and giggling. And I go up to them. I'm like why were you taking your photo? Like are you laughing? I was like this is their first time in tennis in Nashville or you're not going to ruin this for them. You're not going to be. And she was like I actually took the photo, I'm sending them to my nephew or someone who's gay. And like I just wanted to like share how like you can be yourself.
Speaker 3:And I was like and me over there attacking her.
Speaker 1:I know, and then, by the end of it, we ended up taking multiple photos with them that night. It was so much fun, but I so things have changed. Yes, sorry Roundabout, but there's still some ignorance. But yeah, I'm actually shocked by Were you called fag. Oh, yeah, on this trip, this trip, yeah, no, oh, that's good. Yeah, probably nope.
Speaker 2:Only by other gay men, Because you weren't. Oh, while they spit in your mouth.
Speaker 1:Ew. I do like spit, but don't call me a fag in the bedroom. No, but okay, I was getting to something.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, well, there was more parts to that question. Wait, I have a question for you, okay. Do you feel like you were able to kind of develop your queer identity while you were in Knoxville, or do you think it took leaving Knoxville in order to really figure out who you are as a person, whether that's in regards to your sexuality or otherwise?
Speaker 1:good question I definitely think I had to move out of knoxville to get to where I am now and it's still weird, if it's still like a weird thing to explore yourself because, like in my brain, like there were so many things that like, yeah, they've always interested me, but I was never going to explore them, just because there was always like pros and cons of like, yeah, I'm a gay man, which, again, this may be internalized homophobia towards myself as I'm saying it, yeah, I'm a gay man, but like, yeah, like makeup really interests me, but like I don't want to have to deal with like any backlash, I'm just not going to do it.
Speaker 1:So it's like little parts that I was like oh that's not who I am, that's not a part of my personality, but it's like little parts that I was like oh, that's not who I am, that's not a part of my personality, but it's like there's no larger, small parts of your personality.
Speaker 1:It's all those random which you know. I have a million different side quests of things that spark joy, and so I think moving away it allowed me the freedom because no one was there to judge me and I don't give a shit. I didn't know anyone Allowed me to like oh, maybe I will dabble with makeup, or maybe I will dabble with this, Like I never wore crop top or see-through sparkly pants or Speedo back in Knoxville?
Speaker 1:Well, no, gay pool parties I did, but like I didn't especially like outfit creativity and even sexual interest in dabbling, I feel like it almost took away boundaries that in my brain were always there when I lived in Knoxville.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like that's true just in general, for you know anyone, whether you're gay or straight or you know somewhere in between. Like having space of your own in order to remove all of the preconceived notions and social pressures and you know social norms that kind of dictate how we act and what we think and what we believe and what our value structures are, um, in order to kind of like figure it out on your own. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like without your family telling you and giving yourself that freedom, which is cause I'm just saying. I don't know if it's just like a gay experience, but that's fair, it might be.
Speaker 1:Well, no, cause I think it's like on a much smaller scale. It's kind of similar, like to people going off to college. That's like, even in a different city than where they are, like there still is more freedom to kind of explore. And I think that and I don't know if it's an adhd thing or thing in general, like option paralysis of like, no, I'm fine with keeping my life how it was, because it was fine. But yeah, I know it may be amazing if I try all these things, but what if it's not?
Speaker 1:And that could be like a trauma thing because, like, trying to express yourself or try new things as a kid was met with backlash. You're like, if I just stay status quo, I don't have to deal with it. So, but I had a good question while you were talking about that Do you do people in your hometown, does their opinion matter more or less to you? Now that you moved away, because you know you're talking about like the boundaries of exploring yourself, and like they gave you backlash, you were like, oh, I'm not gonna do that because their opinion matters to me.
Speaker 2:But now I think that certain people probably have hold more weight in my eyes, or their opinion has holds more weight because you know they've supported me as I've like, grown up with them and got to know them more, and they've been there for me and the the people that have supported me, no matter what, you know, whether I'm going through hard times or you know some sort of self-discovery or I've changed, um, and they've continued to show up for me through that change I have.
Speaker 2:I hold their opinion, you know, even higher than I did maybe growing up, because the history and the support Exactly yeah, and you know they're not afraid to like call me out on my bullshit, and when that does happen, because they've been like so supportive in the past, then I rely on their opinion even more to like give myself a little check, whereas there are definitely people like from my hometown that are not as close to me that their opinions don't matter as much to me, but that's because you know we've grown apart and because they haven't been a consistent part of that life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so they don't. They don't get to have an opinion if they don't know the whole story Exactly.
Speaker 2:And those kind of those people you know, their opinions are probably the loudest, because they they want to bring you back into that box that they knew you in. Uh huh, and those are the people that I try not to listen to.
Speaker 1:It's interesting because I think so. When I was living there, I think that the opinion of my friends meant a lot to me, and the opinion of my family maybe a little less to my friends. And I think it's because I was exploring this new gay community and I was like these people accept me, what version or what do will they accept and allow you know out of, for areas for me to explore, whereas my family they were like, oh, like, we know he's going off and doing things, but they don't know anything about this gay world that I was exploring. So like, that's why not in mean way, did their opinion mean less to me? But now I realized that my family's opinion of me, or opinion in general, means way more than friends back home.
Speaker 1:And I would say that loosely because, like in the gay population world, like I've met a lot of great friends and, yeah, their opinion matters to me. But but if they're important enough in my life, whatever I do, they're going to be there to support. So the people who have a negative opinion, yeah, we give each other help, but I don't know, it's like they want to all bring you back into that box, except for a few that are going to be there to always support you, but I find that a lot where my family is like please go, continue to explore yourself and try new things and all these other things.
Speaker 2:So it's like inverse, from like when I live there versus now. Yeah, when you go back home, do you feel like?
Speaker 1:you have to like go back into the closet at all it. That is a really interesting question, I feel like not necessarily like- you like our code, switching more where you're like.
Speaker 2:You know, maybe don't use your slay. You know vernacular, or?
Speaker 1:no, I I definitely feel like I bring my accent back out when I go back home, um which, as a gay man, if you have an accent like you, can kind of get away with a lot yeah um, but when I go back home I don't necessarily feel like I might go back into the closet at all. I definitely dress lazier because I feel like I don't have to impress people. So that as far as outfits go. But then still to the bar.
Speaker 2:But still it's your choosing to do that. Yeah, exactly, just because you're lazy, but an external person.
Speaker 1:It may look like I am code switching, but I just want to wear Lululemon shorts and athletic shirts every day and speak in a Southern accent Right every day and speak in a Southern accent, Right.
Speaker 1:And then I'll hear I'm like what crop top should I wear today with my rainbow socks? No, so like, like. From your point of view it could look like that, but no, Um, uh, cause I still will push the boundary and I don't think I'm like as wild with outfits when I go to Tennessee specifically, but I still love to like. It's like you do, even like the first time you ever painted your nails Like it was like.
Speaker 1:oh, my God like I'm not supposed to do this, but it feels great and like it kind of just is a good reminder throughout the day of like, explore yourself, lean into this. This is great, you're enjoying it. Same thing with like back home Like if I decide to wear an outfit that like here, I would wear it to the fucking subway there.
Speaker 1:I do it and it's just like yeah, people are like yeah, maybe people are looking at me or whatever, but it's like wait, this feels good, Like I'm pushing the bat. It's almost like the box I never explored. I'm slowly exploring it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I remember the first time I painted my nails. By the end of the night I had like picked most of it off because I was so like self-conscious of it all. But I was like so excited to like go out with my nails painted Cause I was like, oh my gosh, like this is so fun. It's like you know a way to express myself and my queerness. But then I was also like ashamed of it at the same time and I was, like you know, hiding my nails and I didn't want anyone to see them, I just wanted them to be for me. And by the end of the night I had like picked off most of it. But it's a weird shift in mindset to go from like that version of me that was like so afraid to like stand out to now being like this is just who I am.
Speaker 1:It's like and we don't even think twice about nail polish. We're like, oh, what color should we put on today?
Speaker 2:But nail polish is just like a small example of of you know, like hiding your queerness or being you know proud, and there's something about like the physical perception of queerness. I think that um can be really scary but also like really empowering, kind of all at the same time because of the visibility of it it's so wild because I also I'm also thinking.
Speaker 1:I remember the first time my nails were painted because my toenails my sister, she's always been an ally shout out hannah she painted them for me when she was like young, young, and I remember so like on the bathroom counter we had this massive mirror and after she did it like they were drying.
Speaker 1:I'm just in there looking so like on the bathroom counter we had this massive mirror and after she did it like they were drying, I'm just in there looking at them on the counter, like, and also in the mirror, and just remember feeling so like. This is so much fun and I think that's why I started with mostly toenails, because, like, I could cover it and hide it if I needed to, but like, and then my parents ended up finding out and they were like no, boys, don't do that. Which. That's all, I'm gonna leave there, but it's so like. That's such a good example, because now I went and got a freaking pedicure when I was just back home and I had well in one of my nails painted, because you left the day before and I couldn't paint my other one oh, my mom and I went and got our nails painted together and the nail salon in Sonoma.
Speaker 1:That's wild. We're always just so in sync, but my mom didn't go yeah.
Speaker 2:But also it's fun to see that growth with your parents or people that you grew up with who at one point in time said, boys don't paint their nails, to now taking you to the nail salon.
Speaker 1:And like it's, it is wild because, like, even then, like like I'm not gay, I'm Caleb and that might be my partner, I might be going on a date, or like it's so like normalized to them now which is also another example of painting the nails is like I started getting my butt waxed when I was 18 and I went to the same girl Kendra downtown smooth, meds Bosch, our girl and.
Speaker 1:And I went to the same girl, kendra downtown smooth med spa shower girl. And I went there up until I moved, which is like five years, but like I would never have told my parents that I did that. And then, like I think maybe when I was like 20 or something, it was like they had come around and been so accepting that I was like dad, do you want to go with me? He didn't, but like he was, he still. Like mom will make jokes about it and it tickles her so much Because actually, like got to say that it wasn't met with. Like why the hell are you doing? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, so from butt hair to toenails.
Speaker 2:I've grown. What is it that you? What is it about? Like being visibly gay? You know like wearing short shorts or short shorts and boots in a um boots and a hat. You know like a cowboy hat or whatever in the south. I don't know what you're wearing but with your nails painted. You know that makes people feel threatened and yell faggot out of their car and I think, because they're suppressed, throw slurpees on you or whatever like what is that?
Speaker 1:I think because they're suppressed. There's parts of them that they want to explore and I think in the south it's evil. Even as simple as like if a man wants to become a chef or cook, or I even remember like men going to nursing school, like boys didn't do that and so like, if these things that they naturally are wanting to explore can't they can, they feel like they can't do, then they're, of course they're going to be pissed or upset that someone's out there expressing themselves because they don't feel like they have that luxury. It doesn't normalize it.
Speaker 2:They're jealous.
Speaker 1:But I think that's where that stems from.
Speaker 2:But like, what's stopping them from doing it? Whatever it is? Yeah, like the South being a chef, or yeah.
Speaker 1:But I mean it's gotten a lot better. Like now you actually have like loads of boys that go into nursing school and like so it's gotten better. But it's just something that was it like.
Speaker 2:It's like you're taught I was forced to become a construction worker because that was my only option, and so I'm like furious that this person can go be a dancer or a nurse or, you know, take on any feminine role that maybe I didn't have the opportunity to.
Speaker 1:Similar to cultures who are like, no, you're going to college, You're going to be a doctor. And like, they've already decided for their child and they're like, and they're like their child doesn't even think that they can step outside of that box, and so like it's. So they can't even conceptualize that someone else is standing outside of a box that they want them to be in. So it's like your brain can't conceptualize it, so anything it can't understand hate most of the time.
Speaker 2:Okay, I have an interesting question for you because I feel like that's such a good answer, go get it. I feel like you might have a different answer than me. Is do you think that if you were to go back home with a partner, if it would be harder or easier on you as a gay person to be you?
Speaker 2:know, holding hands with someone you know or you know expressing your affection for someone as like a gay person in your hometown. Do you think that's harder or easier? Because you know one side you have like the support of someone that you think might stand up for you if you do get harassed or whatever. But at the on the other side it could be like harder because you the visibility of it all you know is more in people's face well, I have a statement leading up to that, or question.
Speaker 1:Maybe that involves that I think being a gay man period is easier to go home when it comes to relationships in a lot of ways. Well, that sounds weird, but like as far as like, if a straight woman or a straight man goes home, everyone's always asking when you're gonna get married, would you have a baby? Well, all these things, the gay man especially my family questions ask.
Speaker 2:They're just like I don't get asked that Do you have a surrogate picked out?
Speaker 1:When are you settling down? When are you getting? Like? I don't get asked that, so like I feel like that's an interesting, just difference. Which and then your question, I think bringing a partner home, I'd show more affection, or it would be easier.
Speaker 1:Cause if I didn't bring a partner home, like if I was like seeing someone in Tennessee and like as affectionate, like going on a date or something or is that what you're comparing?
Speaker 1:Okay?
Speaker 1:Cause I probably wouldn't do PDA with a person that didn't mean a lot to me, cause I don't do PDA a lot, I don't like it, and so like, if it's my partner, then I don't like it, and so like, if it's my partner, then I don't give a shit, let's kiss right here in front of this chapel, I don't care, um, but I I think I get protective of a partner when I do bring them home, cause I'm like if there is hate, I will be the voice to stand up and say something, so I don't necessarily need the support from them.
Speaker 1:I almost feel like I'm on high alert and like let me shield them or protect them, because I still, in my head, feel deep down and maybe it's just because most of my childhood that there's still so much ignorance in the South, and there is, and there's everywhere there's ignorance, but I go on super high alert. If someone I love is there, or even if it's a friend that's gay or is doing something, I will stand up for them. So I don't think I necessarily need the support from a partner, but does that kind of a roundabout answer?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that you kind of spoke to the fact that maybe it's a little bit harder to bring your partner home because you feel like you have to be hypervigilant to make sure that they are in a safe space. But I was also kind of asking, like, do you feel like your identity as you've you know, as you've grown to know, it is easier to maintain back home when you're there with a partner? Oh, a thousand percent?
Speaker 2:Uh-huh, I think so Because I feel like for some people maybe it's not that case. You know, like you're going back to a small town and you're bringing a partner, and maybe that's more difficult.
Speaker 2:Well, I've only ever done that with one partner that wasn't from the South, or maybe you have to be like really more like hetero, more heteronormative about your relationship, or like less affectionate than you normally would be, or maybe like just not not holding true to your you know identity. Okay, my psychology term of the day is um social psychology. It's like the do you know what this is? Yes, okay actually, it really intrigues me yeah, they have social psychologists at workplaces right Like factories and stuff. That's an industrial or organizational psychologist.
Speaker 1:That's what I meant. He's saying. Do you know what that means? Yeah, it's this, Absolutely not. That is not.
Speaker 2:There are some similarities, but social psychology is basically the study of like, how our social, social psychology is basically the study of like how our social, environmental factors influence our behavior and personality, and basically there's all of this research that shows that our psycho, our brain psychology, adapts and we act differently in different social situations. So when you're in a group full, say, you're in like a room and you're full of it's full of women and you're a man, you immediately identify yourself as a man first. And then maybe you like go into, like race or sexuality and other things, but say you're in a room full of black men and you're a man but you're a white man, then the first thing you identify would be that you're white. Because we make these comparisons, whereas in the first scenario you stand out because you're a man and then in the second scenario you stand out because you're white.
Speaker 1:Wait, I mean, it makes so much sense.
Speaker 2:but that's wild because it's accurate yeah, so like our, our perceptions of ourselves, they change based off of the environment that we put ourselves in and the people we surround ourselves with wait.
Speaker 1:I mean that makes sense. On like, even like, if you're at a job that you don't necessarily care for, that you really love, your viewpoint of yourself differs. And then also just if you're around in an environment of good friends where you feel like you can't be yourself. That makes so much sense.
Speaker 2:Right. So I feel like that all kind of ties back to taking yourself you know comfortable home environment that you've built to become you know who you are, and then taking all that away and putting yourself in a new environment, maybe in a place that's less comfortable, you it may, you know, kind of alter your, your thoughts about who you are, um. But there's this other study that I wanted to bring up. That's about conformity and what a psychologist did was they put participants into a room and there's this I don't really want to get into like the details of it, but basically, if you um put a little like laser pointer dot against a wall and you ask people to look at it, it kind of looks like it's moving like back and forth just because of the way that our eyes work, and but in reality it doesn't. It's just a laser pointer against the wall.
Speaker 2:So they asked participants to look at this dot and they asked them to estimate how far it's moved to like one side or the other. And in some of the studies they had like plants in the room and they would raise their hand and they say, oh, it moved like five centimeters. And when those like numbers got bigger and bigger. The people who were giving real, know, real answers of their estimates would be closer to what the plant had suggested that the movement was with the light. So basically, like everyone's opinion is influenced by everyone else's opinions around them, even when you're looking at something as innocuous as a laser pointer on a wall that's not moving at all but gives the illusion that it is moving. And when the plant didn't say that it moved at all, the estimates across the board were much smaller.
Speaker 1:Well, okay, so think of it in like a real life example, although that was real life. Let's say you, you're trying a new outfit and you don't really know if you like it, and then one person compliments you.
Speaker 1:You feel like you're like oh my god, I'm hot but, if no one, even like, says anything, you're like it's ugly, everyone hates it, and so, although you felt phenomenal when you left the house, it's very similar to like one person as a plant can have an opinion, or like if they say that everyone else is like. Oh my God actually. Yeah, I meant to tell you like that does look great. So, that's like a very simplified version. Absolutely. I'm so good with these metaphors.
Speaker 2:So anyway, that's social psychology for you. Wait, okay.
Speaker 1:I always forget like that type of like self-help comparison that you did. It helps understand emotions, helps me understand emotion so much better and like I feel like cause I'll get in a spiral about like social anxiety and stuff like that, but like whenever you explain that I'm like, it almost just like takes it down to like it's such a simple.
Speaker 2:It becomes like, like, just you know science.
Speaker 1:Yeah, then you're like.
Speaker 2:You're like black and white answers to things right you don't have to spiral about it, because people you know spend their entire career studying it.
Speaker 1:It's I know, but it's like it's wild to think like whenever you simplify it like that, you're like oh, it is science. Like a plus b equals c. The math, the equation's always doing, it's always going to work out that way yeah, that's wild, isn't it? Yeah I love it when you talk psychology to me, but now what about industrial?
Speaker 2:no, we can talk about that at a different point in time, but I would like to move on to a segment that we're going to call what's the gayest city in america and I have some thoughts, and you know, being growing up close to san francisco, obviously that holds um a place in my heart.
Speaker 2:But there's lots of gay cities out there, seattle being one of them, and is constantly like rated as one of the gayest cities in america. Um, and la. I went to college in LA, so they, I think, have the most number of gays, maybe not like density wise, but it's, you know, a massive city, um. So I want to know what you think is maybe the gayest city in America. Is it Knoxville?
Speaker 1:I, I, I have interesting thoughts, kyle, thank you for proposing the question because I think like it depends on what you interpret as the gay, because, like San Fran because, like San Fran history wise, I've actually never been, but like I'm just like you know that's where a lot of gays started to cohabitate and move there and it was become like one of the first safe places for gay people to be themselves. So, like in my brain, like that is the gayest, like logically.
Speaker 2:Like it's been around for a really long time as like a big gay sanctuary.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so logically, that's my answer. But I kind of want to say Texas, probably like Austin or Dallas. I feel like that could be like, like sexually gay. What does that mean Sexually gay? Like, I feel like that could be sexually gay. What does that mean sexually gay? I don't know. Maybe it's just because I'm like, oh low-key, I do DL guys and I'm like that's the sexiest place because I have the most DL guys, which I just called myself out. But then where is Folsom?
Speaker 2:Where the most internalized homophobia is. That's the gayest city. That's the gayest city.
Speaker 1:That's the hottest city there was like Folsom and then like Market Days and stuff Like Chicago's pretty gay. That's pretty gay, but it's almost like I think it's what the city kind of environment is allowing Like to what expansion of gayness can people be Like they would never do Market Days or Folsom Street Fair in Knoxville? I'll tell you that.
Speaker 2:Nowhere in Tennessee. I feel like the whole brand of San Francisco as a city is gay, gay sex.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean yeah, Folsom.
Speaker 2:Street, fair Door, alley, they like celebrate public nudity, you know, and sex positivity and I don't know. I just feel like their whole brand is rainbow everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but New York also has a lot of gays. Never been there either. Dc's growing in the gays, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:We've got a lot of gay bars.
Speaker 1:Nashville's growing in the gays Really yeah.
Speaker 2:Wow, I would say branding-wise. New York, we have our theater gays. La, we have our like, uh, pretty insta baddies, insta baddies. Yep um san francisco, we have our sex positive gays and I was gonna say like and lesbians 50 plus age oh yeah, a little bit older, maybe palm, palm Springs, so Dallas. We have our internalized homophobia gays Headless torso.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, muscles, backwoods Country will fuck you over Bel-hay, bel-hay, your accent came out Miami we have our Latin gays our fashion gays, our Botox Fist pumping gays, our fashion gays, our Botox cocaine. Miami could be one of. The Key West is also pretty gay. It's actually very gay. They have nude bar there. There's not that many what type of gay is in that.
Speaker 2:Pacific Northwest. We haven't even gotten there.
Speaker 1:That's the grand finale of the question. I'm thinking Ohio, illinois the grand finale of the question. But like I'm thinking Ohio, illinois, michigan, like what type of gays?
Speaker 3:are those.
Speaker 1:I feel like Chicago's like meat and potato, gay, Okay, Like bulky, Like they're thicker, thick, mm yeah. Oh.
Speaker 3:God, you're going to make me blush again.
Speaker 1:I'm in with the thought of.
Speaker 2:It's sporty, it's like sporty gay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but they're like a little bit more bigger built.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's not like Meat and potatoes, Not like.
Speaker 1:oh, I have a 26-inch waist, full-ass abs, massive pecs. It's like they have those, but it's not like on a tiny, wincy, teensy little waist Right a little waist Right, like they are in LA. La is like meat and potatoes, but on a tiny waist. What about Hawaii gays? I don't think that's a thing. Guam gays, puerto Rico? What about Canadian gays? I feel like they're kind of like LA gays.
Speaker 2:You can't just say all Canada.
Speaker 1:That's fair, okay, at least above uscouver. Vancouver gays are just the nice, nice gays, but they look pretty. They also have nice bodies, but it's not like but pale. It's not like this ego there is, but not like as bad as I think. Like people think like you can't even speak to them. They're like oh my god hi yeah, they're like, they're the nice insta baddies there's, they're the insta ratties.
Speaker 2:What, oh rad, oh my gosh okay, vancouver's, it's the ratties.
Speaker 1:Okay, what about seattle?
Speaker 2:crunchy, crunchy, granola gays yeah I was gonna say it's distant. The gays no, I'd say the gays here are more like celebrating counterculture, like drag gays, like creative gays.
Speaker 1:Smart gays because we have the antisocial gays, because we have the Microsoft, the Amazon, the Google.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just called all of those gays antisocial Tech gays.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's a good description. Well, san Fran could also be that, right, yeah, but here tech gays are, because I feel like everyone works in tech. Are there a project manager? What the fuck are you?
Speaker 2:managing. Now that we've generalized all gays on the planet, don't come for us.
Speaker 1:Tell us your opinion of these gays? Read us Papel. We just think it's funny.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's like I love pitting people in a box. It's so weird.
Speaker 1:Honestly, stereotypes are so fun. Okay, let's get into victory advice, oh, but oh my God, what do I? Even I'll do this, since it's wholesome, but I also we need told some. But I also we need to have a little section of just sharing some unwell details of something else. So maybe it's victor advice unwell, because I need to share some more stories from this trip. It was quite wild, my victory is.
Speaker 1:So, going home, using the mindset that we talked about earlier of people's opinion mattering more or less, I intentionally, because usually when I go home it's so fucking stressful I'm like trying to do all these activities, see all the these people, and it's always an activity plus the sleep deprivation.
Speaker 1:It's just horrible. And then there's so many times that I kept like moving mountains or like then if a friend like canceled on me and I like I'm like seeing five different people in a day and I'm like I moved mountains. There we go again mountain, st helen, felon, um moved mountains to like try to see you, like I need you to show up for me, and I feel like I was constantly getting disappointed. But they have their own life and I'm visiting their life and I kept like, oh my god, they don't want to see me, they don't like care or whatever which is dumb depends on the scenario, but this like, especially because I usually stay with friends I stayed with my sister the whole week except for one night because I was busy and just like normal interactions, like just sitting there around the couch, like when they come home, and hearing about their day, and like my sister randomly called in on Monday and she was like do you want to go to the grocery?
Speaker 3:And like called in on Monday and she was, like do you want to go to the?
Speaker 1:grocery and like we went to the grocery store the Piggly Wiggly When's the last time you like went, like not like to grab somebody, and grab somebody like full on grocery shopping with your mom, like it's? That's the moments and it made me just realize like what I want to start putting emphasis on, even here, is less like activity. Yeah, that's fun, but like just having like kind of like our relationship around the house similar to that so that's my victory.
Speaker 2:Is you want to go grocery shopping with me?
Speaker 1:more absolutely not actually that sounds horrible. Yeah, because you're just gonna be everything I put in the fucking buggy more velveta craft whatever but my yeah, my victory is that I spent more time with family and like experience their life and not just try to recreate the fun things that we did, like going in and only seeing them twice when we go to Chili's, but like I got to go to her birthday party.
Speaker 2:I like forming new memories with people that you love and want to spend time with, as opposed to trying to recreate memories that you've had with them in the past.
Speaker 1:That's going to make me cry. Yeah, because especially seeing my sister be a mom, like her gentleness and her compassion and how she juggles all of these things, and I'm like I knew you did all these things, but like, seeing it in action and like it's wild and like and the best way to describe it is I was there experiencing their wild and like and the best way to describe it is I was there experiencing their life and that's my victory Cause instead of trying to bring your life and to them or like hey, do you want to go to Chili's?
Speaker 1:And that's like what we always did. Or like just stopping by Cause. Then I'm like, well, what else do we fucking talk about? You know, like, and it just really, really meant a lot to me, and so that's my victory, that I'm glad that I woke up and decided to actually prioritize them.
Speaker 2:Mine is that I went ice skating. And that was not even in your hometown. No Went to the Kraken Ice Arena, which is where I tried to go at 6am last week, and that was an epic fail. So I went back this past friday and just went by myself and I put in my headphones, listened to some tate mccray and I felt like a bad sports car.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh, baby, you're a sports car on ice vroom, vroom, vroom, skirt skirt wait, I love this and like, sometimes I wish we wouldn't talk about things before this, because I would have loved, in real time, to be like please tell me your sequence, please tell me your choreo. Did you do a triple axel? Uh-huh, no, what about a quad?
Speaker 2:A triple salchow. Can't do a triple axel, but I can do a quad. Yeah, can you do a triple sow cow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, can you skate? What'd you call me? A triple sow cow, a cow Speaking of triple, triple dipper?
Speaker 2:Do you know that cows have three stomachs? Talking about triple sow cows yeah, that's cool yeah.
Speaker 1:But to tie into the rest of my victory. That's so cool To tie into the rest of my victory visit. I went to Texas Roadhouse and I got a wine glass. The waitress was so chill and I was like, hi, can I take this? And because it has their logo on it and it's going in my collection next to my Chili's ones. That's a huge win. I went to Old Navy, got so many cute clothes A lot of macrame, lots of macrame. Or what's it called crocheted tops.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, it's cute, and all women.
Speaker 1:Macrame is like wall it is, but I was gonna let you have it, and they're thick or not, but um, oh, and I finally practiced doing a tattoo yes, you did on fake skin and I made a chili's pepper and it turned out like art, like fart, like already fart, yeah well, it wasn't really that good.
Speaker 3:Yeah Well, and then I went to Chili's, and then I convinced the girl to give me the tissue paper, like clean ones, that they put in the bottom of the chips and I'm going to like bedazzle it or frame it, or I don't know like wrap something in it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, put wallpaper.
Speaker 1:Great idea those are my other like slow, tagged in victories and you shared yours. Do you want me to share my advice? Go Okay. Preface, preface, preface, preface. Remember I think it was last pod that I was like I haven't had sex with anyone this calendar year. Well, it's increased by two parenthesis three, because one of them was a repeat and within seven days, and so I slept with someone here. Don't even mention that, because I know he listens. I'm not even going to talk about the one from here. But then two of them were back home in Knoxville, tennessee, and I was texting you about this. Were they homophobic? No, no, no. Actually, one of them Sex positive, and I know that he's going to listen to this. He, uh, is british I believe he has an accent, but he's a scientist and we grabbed drinks and I learned some new things. And it was what'd you learn?
Speaker 1:that the back of my kneecaps are sensitive, okay, okay like it still feels weird to share some some sex things on here which I don't know why. I literally talked about going to austin and like my hookup was asleep and I was looking through his window anyway, um, he just like I don't know he's the first time. I was kind of like a bottom that like I feel like I got most of the attention and it was fabulous, you didn't have to do any work. Most of the attention and it was fabulous you didn't have to do any work Correct.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm hearing.
Speaker 1:Wait, I am a pillar princess probably no, actually depends on the vibe. I match the vibe.
Speaker 3:No I don't.
Speaker 1:So that was one of them. My vices gets where it gets sticky. So then the repeat that I had sex with. I slept with him when I was like 18. It was good and I texted you and David and I was like I just had lasagna, no pizza here.
Speaker 3:Remember to flash back to the last episode. Lasagna is like really good.
Speaker 1:And it's like, wow, you feel good after yeah. And like pizza is just like yeah, it was okay.
Speaker 2:And I texted you know I'm full but not as satisfied yeah.
Speaker 1:And my stomach kind of hurts a little bit Like it's weird. Yeah, but I texted John. I was like I just had lasagna, who's John? I texted y'all, oh y'all, oh wow, I just had lasagna and it was great. Yeah, and I'll give you some details.
Speaker 2:This is Mount Everest.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh my God, we talked about him before.
Speaker 2:His penis was so big that you had to scale Mount Everest to get on top of it.
Speaker 1:Ice pick and everything. Yeah, again didn't get on top of it Because again I laid the. But that's just two small examples because they were twirling me about anyway, so why is that a vice? Because I'm getting there, kyle.
Speaker 3:I'm getting there.
Speaker 1:I text y'all, I'm like this is phenomenal. And then I go to watch a softball game that night and I was telling my friend there and he was like wait, I know that person. And I was like oh cool me being cocky. And be like oh cool Me being cocky. I'm like they probably never slept together. Because I pull, but they have I think, and then he proceeds to pull up his just arrested photo. This man is a convicted felon, which is fine. People can be a felon and I don't judge him for it.
Speaker 2:But this was agorist.
Speaker 1:It was Mount St Felon, mount St Felon that I hiked because he was charged with aggravated statutory rape, which I looked up is between the ages of 13, but less than 18. You really do have a type. What the fuck? It happened afterwards, but at least the first time I slept with him, cause it happened in 2017. I slept with him in 2016.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you shared on the podcast that your first boyfriend, statutory, raped you because he was 18 and you're 16, cannot say like I didn't.
Speaker 1:You said that on the podcast you're wording.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying you're worrying. I'm just saying that he was you. Are you like six?
Speaker 1:eight, I'm not calling that person like how you cannot put that in there. I'm not calling my first boyfriend a rapist Because he didn't do it. He didn't do it.
Speaker 2:It was consensual, yeah, but still.
Speaker 1:I know. So, yeah, I looked it up. Maybe the laws are different there, I don't know, but that makes me feel icky. But let me just show you. But the laws are not different, because this man has been arrested and convicted. Let me remind you of Mount Everest, of having Mount St Felon, yeah, but then he proceeds to show me his mugshot. Yes, I took photos of it. Oh, why is he smiling? Well, because he's like pop off. Oh, my god. Oh, I was really proud of it, but that's my vice. I had lasagna that was made. It's like having lasagna that was made with gluten-free noodles, where it doesn't fuck you over until you're pooping out the garbanzo bean pasta where it's so good You're like oh my God, this tastes so great.
Speaker 1:Then it gives you a bellyache later. That's what my Mount St Felon experience was and that's my vice.
Speaker 2:Would you change anything about it?
Speaker 1:No, you wouldn't Maybe change that. He's not a felon. He didn't rape someone, but it was consensual with me. God, I sound like a fucking psychopath sometimes.
Speaker 2:I love it. I want your advice to top mine. Speaking of topping, Okay, I had something else, but actually I have two, because we're gonna do vice and unwell, um, my vice is that? Um, okay, so when I went back home, I flew in on a wednesday and I have this like a hookup buddy that uh it's called a friends with benefit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, friends, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Okay, john, we're not really friends with benefits though, because you're not really friends. He lives in San Francisco and I live here, and so when you see each other, do you always have sex? Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's a friend with benefits.
Speaker 2:I think of a friend with benefits, as, like your friends and you hang out, but you also have sex, so this is your fuck buddy, yeah In a different zip code. Yeah, okay, yeah, um so whenever he comes to Seattle, we hook up. Whenever I go to San Francisco, we hook up.
Speaker 1:How many years has that been going on?
Speaker 2:I mean, it's only happened like a handful of times, but over the last year, yeah, but over the last year, yeah, over the last year. I can't wait to see how this flourishes, okay. So my advice is that I flew in. I got in. I was supposed to get in at like 10 pm, so I was like, okay, I'll be to your house by like 1030. But my flight was delayed for like a half hour and then I had to get a rental car and yada, yada, yada, the cute green one, the Hyundai Kona in neon green.
Speaker 2:It was so great.
Speaker 1:It's like nail polish. I was like I cannot lose this car in a parking lot because it's so fluorescent and you loved it.
Speaker 2:I did, yeah, but I texted him that I was being delayed and I texted him when I land. And when I landed he responded with there's like oh wow, you're like really late. There's a really nice holiday inn by the airport. I was like you don't have to say it like that, though that's like not even like really that funny, especially after, like I've been through the ringer today and like I'm already exhausted, but you're not even a friends, so he's allowed to say whatever, I guess.
Speaker 1:Yeah, god, not me playing the devil's advocate. Yeah, I did fuck her a felon, so.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So throw stones in glass houses don't you. I was just annoyed, disappointed, I guess. And then I get a text message from him as I'm kind of pulling up To his house. It says like I'm really tired, like um don't, but also like really horny, but it might just like be cuddles tonight, or something like that.
Speaker 2:So then, so you went to his house so I went, so I did no, yeah yeah, I went to his house because I think he was just joking and I went to his house and I think he was just joking and I went to his house and crawled into bed with him and we cuddled and I just couldn't tell if he wanted to hook up or not. But he's the top in this situation, so I feel like it's your job to make the move.
Speaker 1:Don't put it no. You touch what you want, exactly With consent. I know I know I could have if I wanted to make the move.
Speaker 3:Don't put it don't put no, you touch what you want exactly with consent.
Speaker 2:Uh huh, I know, I know I could have if I wanted to, but I was just like kind of so put off by the whole yeah, go stay at the holiday inn and oh, I'm really tired, but like it doesn't sound like you really know what you want, and so then I'm not really like into it anymore.
Speaker 2:So I spent the night there and then the next day, um, he like took a half day at work, and so did I, and so we went and got like drinks, um kind of in that like afternoon at lunch, and I don't know just like we were not vibing, and so it was just like disappointing that one, I didn't get to have sex with him and two, it it just like wasn't the experience that I wanted for my first day back home. But you didn't want to get blue balled, yeah, I could see that I never want to, but sometimes it happens it do be.
Speaker 2:So that was my vice, and then my unwell of the week is going back to our cold opening and talking about the events of last night.
Speaker 1:So we stopped at the end of the story. We went to.
Speaker 2:Massive. We went to Massive, had a few drinks leading up to Massive and I don't know what happened, but we got up there. It was Disco Pig Night which is so much fun.
Speaker 1:Pig's dancing on the stage.
Speaker 2:It's like all like 70s, 80s disco music, but it's no different than what it usually is. Yes, it is Usually Massive, is just like that wasn't. No, were you listening, was it? No, it was like lyrical disco.
Speaker 1:I didn't hear any words.
Speaker 2:Okay, anyways, it was a blast and I was having so much fun and we were dancing around and, just, you know, causing chaos, and the hottest guys were there and we were both making out with them.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, I don't know what happened. I got overwhelmed by the spirit or something. But some guy came up to me and like put his butt in my crotch and started dancing with me and then turned around and then we started kissing and the next thing I know I am flat on the floor, passed out, and I'm like kyle kyle and I, I like opened my eyes and there's this hunky man with his like perfectly chiseled chest with like the perfect amount of like chest hair and he's looking at me with the biggest smile on his face, like picking me up, and he's like it's all, it's all good, it's all good.
Speaker 2:And did that actually happen? Or did that just happen to my brain?
Speaker 1:no, that happened, but like not as beautifully as you put it.
Speaker 2:Okay, because you can describe you woke up and you're like you even see me fall like I just passed out and I don't know why I turned around and you were on the ground.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wasn't like doing a bunch of G or anything.
Speaker 2:I just like had a couple drinks and I got kissed by a boy and I fainted.
Speaker 1:And now you're ready to die because you kissed a boy. Yeah, my spirit left my body. He sucked away your spirit.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, maybe it was because it was Easter and I'm Jesus. You rose four times, I died and I was resurrected.
Speaker 1:Four times, yeah, so. And you died by being gay. He is risen, so now you have to lead the straight life.
Speaker 1:Anyway, what actually happened? I go over there and I'm kind of like freaked out but like also oddly calm. You're like did I just pass out? I was like, yeah, girl, let's go. And you're like, oh, actually I'm fine. So you were fine for several minutes. You're dancing? I was, yeah, I gave you water, You're dancing. And then you were stumbling a little bit. I was like, no, let's go over here Twice before we get over to the wall. So you fell again and collapsed like passed out, and collapsed, passed out. But you didn't fall all the way down because I had my arms around you.
Speaker 1:Third time we finally get over there to the wall and you're like, okay, I need to sit down. I go to help you sit down. You pass out again, slam the back of your head against the wall. That's why I was like did your head hurt today? Then, as we're going around to go over there to the steps, you start doing it again. But to go over there to the steps, you start doing it again. But at that point I had your arms around me, carrying you like a little backpack, a six foot ten backpack, on this five foot body and we had to go down two flights of steps.
Speaker 2:And the man that you were making out with was helping. Oh yeah, he was very helpful, but also kind of like no you're fine.
Speaker 1:No, you're not fine. He was like kind. And then somehow the bouncer that we already spoke with outside comes who?
Speaker 2:told us her whole story about her dad adopting her.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, Jesse.
Speaker 2:He was a drug addict or something. What does this happen to us, Zach?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah. And so then somehow now she's magically appeared on the third floor and it's like the sweetest, most gentle. It's like you're good, baby, I'm. So she's like don't apologize, it's never a bad thing to be having fun, just so kind. And then I'm digging your pockets looking for the coat check number, and then you're outside drinking water. I get an Uber back home and we get inside and you're like I'm like okay, we're going to get you a bed. You're like I just bought new sheets. I was like cool, you're gonna love them.
Speaker 2:It's like I'm not getting in bed in my new sheets After passing out on the floor at Massive and I'm covered in gross shit and sweat.
Speaker 1:That was pretty stupid and you were like, what am I gonna do? And I was like, well, you can take a bath. You're, you can take a bath, you're like I can't. Which is I was like, okay, I'll help you, which I didn't do anything. You got in there and I you closed the door behind you and then I sat on the cat on your bed watching youtube videos and I was like I kept saying like, oh, are you good? You got out, you had your towel on, you got clothes on, you went to bed. Did you see my wiener? I did. Have you been thinking about that all day?
Speaker 1:yeah yeah it's not bad, but again, like it's hard, like I can't conceptualize. You're just like my patient at that point I was taking care of you.
Speaker 2:Okay, mr thomas, get out of the shower, you sure I do remember seeing your face like um, when I kind of came to out of after fainting whichever time, I don't, I don't but I remember being like, oh, thank God, caleb's a nurse, he's going to take such good care of me. If he can take care of Zach, that's passed out in a bush, then he can take care of me. Well, I'm glad that that gave you some peace?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because there was just this weird confidence. I was like, oh, he's going to an antihistamine. Whenever you did that, I was like Kyle wouldn't cause drama on me like this. Yeah, he'll get it together. Yeah, four times later you got it together because you and I talked nonstop on the way home. No, you talked at me.
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I was like don't you agree?
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, my God, so was From passing out to climbing Mount St Fallon. Well, thanks for listening to this week's episode of Unfamously Unwell. We want to hear from you and about your struggles and triumphs of traveling home.
Speaker 1:I want everyone to call their mom or their dad or whatever loved one that they're closest with, because I think you should do it more too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like that's a good um challenge challenge. Yeah, a wellness challenge is like how does your you know life change, or how does your perspective change when you reach out more to the people that you care about most, whether that's you know, your family or your chosen family?
Speaker 1:where can they find us, kyle? Okay, caleb, they can find us at unfamously Unwell, on all social media. Well, one social media platform, and that's Instagram. You can contact us via direct message there, or you can get a little tippity-tap-tap on your email and send us an email at unfamouslyunwell at gmailcom. Please write in and talk to us. We just have each other to only speak with, and my co-host is fainted 40% of the time.
Speaker 2:Sometimes I have to pretend to faint just to get him to shut up. So I'd rather talk to you guys.
Speaker 1:This is my sign out.
Speaker 2:Do it better. Do it better.
Speaker 1:Well, in two weeks we'll be back with another fun, interesting topic and maybe I'll challenge myself to host that one, kyle Mentally. Let's see where I'm going to be and also share any fun World Pride DC themed outfits with us, because we're going in June and we're kind of contemplating if you have any fun cuntismo outfits. Cuntissimo, send them our way, but until next episode we wish you well, Bye bitches.
Speaker 2:Thanks for listening to another episode of Unfamously Unwell, the unrated podcast hosted by your two favorite Seattle homosexuals on a journey to higher health. Listen each week as we deep dive into a new topic and give you all the dirty details of our successes and failures along the way.
Speaker 1:You can send us your questions, feedback or share your own victory advice by writing to unfamouslyunwell at gmailcom or by clicking the link at the bottom of the description to shoot us a text. We'd love to hear from you and share your stories on the pod.
Speaker 2:We'll see you back here next week for another unhinged episode of Unfamously Unwell, unrated.