This is Disruption
This is Disruption podcast explores the pursuit of creativity and shares the stories of the fearless creators in street art, graffiti, music, photography and beyond, who boldly challenge the status quo, break barriers for others and share their work unapologetically. Each episode is a deep dive interview exploring the lives of artistic risk takers, exploring their motivations, their inspirations, and their take on the power of art, in whatever form they make it in.
The podcast is hosted by Irish street artist and DJ, Did by Rua, based in London.
This is Disruption
Tich: From Graffiti Rebellion to Holistic Healing Power
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How exactly does one go from being a passionate self proclaimed "vandal", keen to do as much damage as possible, to becoming a holistic healer helping others?
This episode tells the transformative journey of today's guest, Tich, who did just that. Tich takes us on a journey from the urban streets of North West London to the serene landscapes of the Peak District. A former graffiti writer, Tich shares how the excitement and chaos of tagging and painting trains shaped his early years, leading to fearless adventures and brushes with the law.
Tich's life took an unexpected and profound turn with an awakening that led to being a catalyst for personal growth and self-discovery, rooted in the healing power of nature and traditional Amazonian plant medicines. He shares his journey of overcoming a tumultuous past filled with risky endeavours and existential questioning eventually leading to a spiritual transformation, guiding him toward a path of self-awareness and healing. We discuss the holistic therapies and practices that he embraced, including Reiki and energy therapy and how these approaches foster vulnerability and empowerment now helping him and others to reclaim their personal narratives, and we discuss the path to his current endeavours with Moksha Holistic Therapies.
Tich encourages us all to connect with our inner selves and embrace life's unpredictability. His story is a testament to the power looking within and using authenticity as tools for growth, encouraging us to find joy and healing in what we do in our day to day. Whether you're drawn to the rebellious spirit of graffiti or the serenity of holistic healing, this episode promises insights and inspiration for everyone on a journey of self-discovery.
You can find Tich/Moksha Holistic Therapies at the following links:
Website: https://www.mokshaholistictherapies.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/moksha_holistic_therapies/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tichy.sunak/
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Hello there. You are very welcome to. This is Disruption podcast with me, your host Rua. This podcast brings you in-depth interviews with the fearless creatives in street art, graffiti, music, photography and beyond, who boldly challenge the status quo, break barriers for others and share their work unapologetically. Each episode is a deep dive into the lives of artistic risk takers, exploring their motivations, their inspirations and their reasons for their willingness to disrupt societal norms. Some of these stories involve revolutionizing their industries, while others are pushing the boundaries of legality with their art.
Speaker 2:Coming up on today's episode so the early days of vandalism, the side of a train was my sketchbook. It's getting up, it's getting your name everywhere, and if you can do that with style, that's even better. I knew I was going to get caught. It meant more to me to keep graphing, to keep doing it, because if I get caught, it's only going to be temporary. So I've been a victim for most of my life until I realised that I was oh shit, I'm a victim. I don't want to be a victim, no more, and I took my power back. It's like no, I want to decide how I see the world, not the world decide on how I should see it.
Speaker 2:We are so much more than the job labels. We are so much more than you know the graffiti name. We are so much more than so much more than all of this. I'm so much more than what I thought was you know. So don't be afraid to connect with that. So it's's like well, anything can happen at any time. So I'm just going to live. I'm going to live the best life that I can and help as many people as I can. We're just here to learn. So if we're here to learn, let's make most of it. Do you know what I mean From all the experiences, all the ones that we label bad and all the ones that we label good.
Speaker 1:On today's episode we're talking to a good friend of mine. He is a graffiti writer turned holistic healer, and you may know him as Titch or Moksha Holistic Therapies. This is the story of a transformative personal journey. It's a powerful conversation on art, vandalism, trauma recovery, self-empowerment and, ultimately, the desire to help others. As always, these episodes are best enjoyed if you listen while getting creative. This is Disruption. Hello, lovely people, I couldn't be happier to be in East London today with a good friend of mine. His name is Titch. He has been on such a journey and has so many incredible stories. Every time we speak, I learn something absolutely wild and super interesting. There's just so much to hear from him. He has had such an interesting life story. He's gone through transformation of healing and he is now working helping other people, which is super special. Titch, we have a lot to talk about, but first of all, how are you doing?
Speaker 2:I am very good, thank you, and it's so good to be here too.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for coming down and for making this time. We've been trying to do this for quite a while we have, yeah, we have.
Speaker 2:Titch for anybody who doesn't know you can you please give us a little bit is a kind of a nickname, alter ego alias that I've always grown up with. Titch, spawned out of me doing graffiti and that was my tag. The name of Titch has just stuck ever since. People still call me it now, including my mum, sometimes my family members, my friends, very close friends, and titch was a tag. I used to go out, get spray paint pens and go around all of london and daub my name titch on pretty much any surface that I could come across trains and buses and walls and streets and train tracks. So, yeah, that's, that's where titch comes from.
Speaker 2:I originate from north west london. Many different areas in north west london is where I've lived and so, yeah, that's where Titch comes from. I originate from North West London. Many different areas in North West London is where I've lived and I've lived most of my life until about the age of 30, where I moved out of North West London to where I live now in the beautiful countryside of the Peak District in Derbyshire.
Speaker 1:It's so beautiful up there. You're definitely in a lovely part of the world.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1:You talked about when you were younger and Titch became your nickname and you were doing graffiti in London. What is your earliest memories of graffiti?
Speaker 2:Yeah, my earliest memories of graffiti was actually in high school Graffiti. When you're living in London or, I suppose, any city, it's something that you're going to see Everywhere you go. You're going to see writings on the walls and writings on the trains and whether you, you kind of like it or not, that's subconsciously going to affect you and you're going to remember certain words that you see a number of times, even if you're not even interested in looking at graffiti. So obviously it affected my subconscious. And then in in high school I I just started picking up a pen and running around the school with a black marker, chisel tip and just like, initially it was check c-h-e-k and that was the age of, you know, 13, 14, 15, which got me in quite a bit of trouble.
Speaker 2:And then when I left kind of high school, actually during the, the later years of my high school, I adopted this tag titch, because the set of letters that it was was it worked well with the way I was writing it and I thought this is, this looks actually quite cool, it's like a kind of like a stamp, and. And then I started writing titch and then it kind of went from the high school playground in the corridors to again it leaked out into the streets, into the, into bus depots, into the train yards, the train depots, onto the train tracks in very dangerous places, nearly getting hit by trains etc. And then it just kind of escalated. It just kind of the momentum was going, the ball was rolling, and once that ball's rolling in something and you're gaining a benefit from it, the ball cannot be stopped. So it just continued to go.
Speaker 1:Can you tell us the benefits? Like what did it feel ball cannot be stopped, so just continue to go well. Can you tell us the benefits? Like what did it feel like to be able to go out and just have creative expression?
Speaker 2:it was freedom.
Speaker 2:It was a sense of freedom where you know we've all got our barriers and our limitations and you know we think we can't do certain things because someone's told us we can't.
Speaker 2:And you know, fortunately enough for me, I've always questioned why, not just with graffiti, but for all aspects of life, including my upbringing.
Speaker 2:You know things like religion and what I've been taught in school and, and I always questioned why, who's telling me this and why they're telling me this. So I, kind of like, was naturally rebellious I'd say naturally rebellious is the words that I'd use and when I went out to do graffiti, it was like a release of well, it was a fulfillment of, kind of doing something I wasn't allowed to do, that someone's told me that I'm not allowed to do that, and I was doing it and at the same time, it was expression of how I was feeling, all the things that I was digesting and being in London and just to be able to do the simple act of writing something on a wall was just yeah, it was, it was freeing, it was really freeing to to do that and the benefit, I suppose, was to feel that, was to feel the freedom and feel the bursts of adrenaline that life was not giving me feel the excitement and feel the.
Speaker 1:It was a fuel for adrenaline, essentially, you know, and how did you balance the thrill or the risks of doing graffiti or the creative passion for doing art as well?
Speaker 2:so when I initially started doing graffiti, I did not think of it as an art form, even though I now see it as very much an art form. Even the tag on the wall, even the, and going back throughout the years, even when you see writings on the walls, have always existed, you know, if you look on, even ancient, and I always saw myself as a vandal and I like to see myself as a vandal because I was that rebel that was going against the system, I suppose, which, again, is still an art, you know, it's still an art to do that. But there was a passion for being a vandal. You know, there was a. Really I was passionate about being a vandal.
Speaker 1:I was being a vandal and I was passionate about being a good vandal and that, can you know, do as much vandalism, causing damage to and distress to london underground, essentially, specifically. So you are now an artist and you really have gone into the art side of things. So how do you think those earlier but let's call vandalism I love that word the earlier vandalism? How do you feel like that's influenced the things you do now? Because you still paint.
Speaker 1:In fact, we painted together so how do you feel your earlier days of vandalism has impacted the way you paint now? Because you still do paint yeah.
Speaker 2:So the early days of vandalism, the side of a train was my sketchbook. And so, whilst all my well not all, but some most of my peers were, you know would sit in a house and would you know all, do some drawings and look, look at this sketch I've done and I completely ignored that bit and I just thought you know what, I'm just gonna go and do it and whatever comes, whatever comes. So it was literally my sketchbook. I did, you know, a couple of sketches and if you saw my very earlier style, it was very, very basic and primitive, it was just the blocks and it was just like I like this because it blatantly says what my tag is.
Speaker 2:And now I still paint and I like to go to a wall and chill, socialize with friends and just really get kind of creative. But when I'm painting, I'm still painting in very much the same way, in a very kind of spontaneous manner. I very rarely have anything pre-planned when I paint and it's like I just want to be in the moment. And I was then. I was doing what I was feeling. And when I'm painting now, I'm doing what I'm feeling. So whatever kind of is coming through my system, whatever paint I've got. You know, one day it might just be I'm just going to spray anything and then make something of it. Or if I'm feeling more structured and organized which is very rare it might be like I'm going to do, like you know, this color on this letter and this kind of shape and this kind of outline and a 3d going in this direction. Yeah, it's, the flair is still there and the flair hasn't changed at all. Actually, it's just. It's just the way I use it, I suppose, and the passion still runs quite deep. Obviously I don't paint illegally, but when I go to a wall now it's, it's more relaxed, I take my time with things, but it's still a what's the word? It feels like an explosion. When I put something on the wall, it just feels like an explosion.
Speaker 2:If you see me painting this, when I watch my page doing, it's very, you know, organized and regimented, but I'm just there. There's tins everywhere. There's paint on my paint on my hat. There's paint on my beard. There's, and it just hasn't changed a bit. I'm not wearing a mask, I'm not wearing gloves. There's paint all over my hands. There's paint on my shoes my brand new shoes within a couple of days. So there's no kind of thought as to care. Well, no, no, there is care, but there's not. I've got a mission and that's just to do my thing. It's quite messy and in fact, if I had an art studio, it would be very much like probably throwing paint on the canvas or something like literally throwing the paint on the canvas.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. So you just go out and you just let what comes comes. You're not planning these pieces as such, you're just letting it flow yeah, and that's what's happening now.
Speaker 2:Again, like you know, it's really hard to kind of stick to what I'm doing, because you feel different things on different days, so I might start with something and then it might end up being something very different and I might even go over the things that I did two days ago, because I don't really like this, you know. So I'm quite sustained and it feels like, um, I'm a vessel for the art to flow through.
Speaker 1:That's what it feels like yeah, I wanted to ask about the feeling of painting. The trains tell me everything. Basically, I'll just give a little bit of an explanation. I'm not from london and when I came here I moved to brick lane, which is, I mean, if you want to see street art, move to brick lane. But I didn't know anything about london, didn't know brick lane was what it was. Every single day when I stepped out of my house I was inspired. But I came here and I learned all about this and I'm still learning and I'm still trying to find out more about graffiti and subcultures within that one word. You know it means so many different things to so many different people and obviously vandals get up on trains.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:What is that like? What was it like then? I imagine that adrenaline is just so, is just so overwhelming. Tell me everything. Well, there's a lot to handle.
Speaker 2:You see, because when you're, when you're getting up which is essential, graffiti is kind of was about and kind of still is. It's getting up, it's getting your name everywhere, and if you can do that with style, that's even better. There's kind of like a element of ego, massive element of ego, where you're making yourself feel good, you're making yourself feel good and it's you know, and then you kind of have a bit of a, especially when you're in that kind of arrow in that mindset, you can have a feeling of superiority to other people who aren't getting up or painting legal walls or or aren't putting as much working as you are or aren't as rough and ready, and you know, just going at going at it as you are, there's a lot of uh judgment, or was a lot of judgment and kind of like a lot of a lot of beef kind of comes. Came out of that back in the day when we were painting. And that's how you get respect. Your respect is earned through the amount of damage and the amount of work you do and how you do it. You know if you go to a train yard, a train depot, for example, and you know that it's someone else has been using that depot and you go there and you kind of just, you know, go in there, run in there and be silly and essentially hot the spot up, and then someone goes back there and they get arrested. You know, there's all this kind of politics that gets involved, but going to the actual feeling of painting a train or going into a train yard, it's quite. It's quite interesting, because the way I used to see it is, when you go into a train depot, what you're doing is you're going into london is one of the most secure places in the world, you know, and one of the most secure cities, or it should. Well, so it's said. You know more cameras in anywhere.
Speaker 2:And when you're going into a place like that, just with a, you know, bolt cutters, cutting through a fence which could take about an hour, and you walk in and then you have to avoid cameras even though I didn't, I just ignored them. And then you have to. You have, like you know, cables going along the fence, which detects the shaking though, so you have to cut that first, it's like a sense. And then you have pressure pads as well on the floors and then you have the, the security guard, going around. Now. I didn't pay any notice to any of this, I just went in and did it and I kind of, you know, got away with a lot. I never, ever got caught red-handed or anything like that. I had a few chases, but nothing major.
Speaker 2:And when you actually get to the train, there's a feeling of massive, massive adrenaline and it's like you can feel your body shaking and it's like you know, even if you're climbing over a fence and you hurt yourself, it's like you're not hurt because adrenaline is pumping. Um, and you paint it. You know, when you first start painting trains, you paint very quickly because you think, oh yeah, I need to be very quick because I don't know how long I've got here. But when you start to know your spots and know, you know, if you've watched a security guard go around and you know that he's not coming around for another two hours, you know, okay, as soon as you guys will go in and we've got two hours to paint and you can take your time a bit.
Speaker 2:But there's still that feeling of shakiness and they all used to be a tremble in my body when I used to paint trains, especially in a train depot at two, three in the morning. You know, knowing that you're in a place. It's not just that, but it's knowing that you're in a place as well, like you know, when you go into, like a derelict building on your own. I'm not sure if anyone's done that, but if you do that and something happens to you, no, no one would know where you are. Do you know what I mean? It kind of there's that feeling as well, of shit. I'm in a place where if I get hurt or get electrocuted further down the track, then no one's gonna even know, you know. So there's that kind of feeling as well like an element of true danger true danger.
Speaker 2:I suppose it's different now because we have our mobile devices which can track anything. Everyone always knows where we are. We're so connected to our peers and our family, which I don't fully agree with in that kind of method. I think it's too much. Back then it wasn't like that. We had a pay-as-you-go phone. It's not even as well. Sometimes we didn't even have a phone, we just used to go and do it. It was pure excitement. There wasn't any thrill about telling anybody really apart from my you know really close friends. There wasn't so much of a thrill about, you know, posting on instagram or anything like that. It was just pure the thrill of doing rather than the thrill of it being seen on the internet. You know it's a two. It's a very different dynamic. I mean now it's both. You know people are just doing it, are going out to paint, paint their, their trains, and it goes, gets on the internet somehow. You know it's internet fame and it's and it's actual fame.
Speaker 1:So yeah, that's a really good answer. Thank you so much for explaining all of that, or you talked about your friends doing it. Was there anybody that was particularly impactful on you, or any artists or crews that inspired you or that you looked up to in the scene?
Speaker 2:yeah, there was always, uh, I mean my all my friends inspire me when we go painting or when we did go painting, because you're, you're, you're influenced by your environment and there's people, people you hang out with. So all of my, all of my friends, or my crews that used to to write with, would be trc, htb, kcd, all these kind of crews that were, you know, and they're kind of interlinked somehow. There's always people in both and all free and you know the few offshoots and stuff like that. But the crews that really inspired me, you know, when I, when I was growing up, would be crews like dDS, which obviously everyone knows of.
Speaker 2:Dds, probably one of the hardest hitting crews in London, if not the in my era anyway, pbf, lgl, from Northwest London. You know they were very, they're Northwest based and then some of the graffiti that I saw coming out of that crew was style wise, was right up my alley. It was basic, it was strong, it was bold. You know it wasn't trying to be anything, it was just london. If you, if you've been in graffiti and you know it, it has a very distinct style. You can kind of tell a london writer. I feel I can anyway, maybe because I just know it as well because I see it and I'm in that scene as well, as crew also from northwest london. So people that were all around me, you know ac, all city crew, these crews all had a big prevalence in north, northwest london and west london. You know they were kind of massive really.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I love graffiti and I love that. It's a risk that somebody is taking because they have something to say, whatever that is, there's obviously so many different styles. We kind of reference and whatever it is. That it's expression and I love it and I love that, no matter what it is, there's obviously so many different styles. We kind of reference and whatever it is. It's expression and I love it and I love that, no matter what it is. There's obviously a lot higher risk. Painting a train, you unfortunately were caught for painting. It wasn't just that you were caught, but you were caught with a camera crew, which is the craziest story. So, titch, please tell us about your experience of getting caught.
Speaker 2:So I mean up until that moment when the police came to my house, I I didn't really take notes off cameras, I was reckless and I was rebellious, I didn't really care and at the time I knew I was going to get caught. It meant more to me to keep graphing, to keep doing it, because if I get caught it's only going to be temporary. And you know, and it was actually so, when I got caught the first time it was one of my friends the year before got caught and he got caught on a on a northern line train, on a camera because they didn't have cameras on the northern lines. But then they did so. Then he because we just completely ignored that and then he got caught on a camera. Then they wanted him and he went, he, he didn't. Then I wanted to island and all this kind of stuff. He came back in and handed himself in.
Speaker 2:But it was a big clamp down. So you know, obviously they kind of know if they catch one or two people in a crew it doesn't take them long to get the rest of us. So when they caught me it was, you know, six, seven in the morning. I heard the knock on the door. I was living at my mum's house at the time. My mom opened the door and there it was. You know, there was two or three btp bridge transport police officers but accompanied by a bbc cameraman. So they came into my house and they went into my room and I had a downstairs bedroom at the time and I knew that that was the police. Who else was knocking at the door that time in the morning with you know, know, like such a distinct police officer knock.
Speaker 1:I wonder, do they train to have that knock?
Speaker 2:It's like you know you just know it's not well, no one knocks like that at that time in the morning. And then the mum said yeah, you better come in. And I told my mum the night before this is so funny, like I told my mum the night before and and I remember saying it to her before I went out and she knew I was lying, she knew what I was doing, obviously, she knew I was painting trains, like every other night. But she said oh, I thought you were painting a bicycle, the friend's bicycle. Last night I was like and that's what she said when the police were there and the camera, it's all on camera the BBC cameraman came in. They were filming me. They. They searched my room, found a camera, found ink, a bottle of ink. They found a pack of photos. They found everything. They found everything, found a bit of weed and they nicked me there on the spot and then they took me to the station and I thought do you know what? There's no point me even trying to fight this. I'm just going to plead guilty and you know, admit to it, because I had everything. They had me on pictures of me on the side of a train writing titch, many pictures of those you know, and then to me they're good memories. You know that I've still got a lot of those photos now.
Speaker 2:And you know, when I was in an interview yep, I did that, I did that, I did that, I did that, I did that. You know, I just thought just to get this over with, like, and I was on bail for a year for some reason, because I don't know why, but so I had bail conditions not to go in places not accessible to the public on the London Underground, which is obviously you're not allowed to anyway. But what it means is if I got caught I'd get sent straight to prison because it would be a breach of bail conditions. So when it came to the sentencing, three months I got Three months in jail, which I spent in HMP Feltham initially, then HMP Norwich and then HMP Hollersley Bay. So, and then the saga continued I came out, did it again, got nicked, went back to prison, came out, did it again, got nicked and went back to prison.
Speaker 2:I just wanted to keep on doing it. You know I didn't really at the time it was. It was a needed kind of. It was needed for me to do to really kind of be okay. It was like a drug. It was literally like a drug. You know, going out to paint a train was like a drug. And then I kind of slowed down when I had my daughter was born, first born, and that's when I kind of, you know, slowed down. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Thanks for sharing all of that. That's a really interesting point. When I first started doing any sort of street art or graffiti, I was told do not go over the writers. They are crazy, they go to jail for what they do and they come back out and they do it again because they love it so much. So don't piss them off. And I. That was the best advice ever and I never did and thankfully I don't believe I have enemies, but maybe I've upset somebody somewhere, but hopefully not. So it's that drive to keep going and to keep getting up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know what, from doing that and from having that mindset from a young age and from consistently having that drive, you know it's a great, it's a very transferable skill.
Speaker 2:So you know when you can accomplish going into a train and ducking and diving and put someone on the train and leaving very quietly and you know well, actually a lot of times not very quietly but anyway leaving and then getting out of there and going home and sleeping that night. That it set in itself means that I can apply the ability to do such a difficult thing to anything. And then I can apply that transferable skill and be like, if I can have that drive and that energy in creating some art on a train, which is a very, very intricate and can be a very long process, then I can do that with anything actually. And then it came to realize that later on, when I stopped doing illegal fee, a good few years later on, after that it's like well, I've done a lot, like, so I can apply all these talents Whilst it's a criminal activity, it's not easy to do.
Speaker 1:I suppose you're working under a lot of pressure trying to remain calm. There's definitely things to take from that. So you mentioned that the birth of your daughter was a little bit of a turning point for you. Can you tell us more about that and what changed thereafter?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it didn't change immediately, like it was a couple years after. I was just kind of taking my stride, reassessing, trying to understand myself, trying to understand life. Why am I here, you know, asking these really kind of deep and valuable questions? And I was was just wondering a lot why this and why that, and what am I supposed to be doing? And these kind of really important questions, because London's, I would say, a really hard place.
Speaker 2:If you don't have a lot of money, or if you don't have loads of money, then it can really wear you down and you kind of get to a point where you start to kind of question the reality that's around you and it's like this can't be it, this can't be. You know, I'm surrounded, you know, like if you look, you're in a block of flats, right, and you look in a block of flats and could be 100 people in that block of flats, and this is when I was looking at a block of flats. And you look at people, you look at the way people are living. Not, there's communities in London, for sure, but these hundred people in the block of flats are all living in this place and the bizarre thing is probably most of them hardly even really know each other. You know, I saw that quite clearly. So when I was after the kind of graffiti escapades, should we say, my daughter was born and then I kind of carried on doing it for a certain amount of time. But I was also living in a place in Wembley and out of that place I, you know, I got into the wrong crowd, should we say, and got into selling, using drugs and so forth, and that was my life for a couple of years and you know, it was just constant 24 7. I was always out.
Speaker 2:You know, getting stuff to people and it was kind of like graffiti was one thing, but you do it in, you do it in silence, you know, you kind of do it and your your stealth. And but now I had so much more pressure on me because I was avoiding people robbing me, I was willing to please catching me. You know I was avoiding, I was paranoid because because I went from doing graffiti plus doing all this other stuff, but I was also I was doing loads of other stuff anyway, but it was just kind of like too much and it was just like. You know, I got kidnapped and you know, on a couple of occasions and I got, you know, beaten up, I got robbed many times and you know, all these things kind of taught me or made me question what came to the realization that I was just saying to you before it's like what, what am I actually doing here? You know, I'm just going around in circles. I'm I'm not gaining anything. I think I'm gaining some money, but I'm not actually some. I'm making a lot of money and it's getting robbed. You know I'm getting kidnapped or something and you know something's like kind of happening.
Speaker 2:And then that's when I kind of came out and realized I had a bit of a wake-up call and something drew me to nature.
Speaker 2:It was the most bizarre feeling, um, I can remember having.
Speaker 2:It was just like a pull to go to this place in the countryside that I never been to before.
Speaker 2:It was a hill in the countryside and it was just like I think I might have seen it on the internet or something, or found this hill in the internet, which is a hill just outside of london, and I went there and around this hill there's, you know, some really ancient forests and woodlands and you know ancient, kind of just ancient forest, and I sat in this forest for days, returning back and you know, days on end and, just kind of like, started to see things from a very different perspective, started to actually feel, started to feel all the things that I'd been suppressing.
Speaker 2:I didn't even know that I was suppressing all the things that was suppressing, if you know what I mean. But when I was in silence and in peace and you know, there was streams of tears coming out of my face, sitting in this place, and it's something I never, never experienced before. I was obviously carrying a lot, but I was not aware of how much I was carrying until I got to this point in the forest and since that day it's been a continuous journey of keep shedding those layers and layers and layers and being more aware and conscious and free, and that was probably 18 years ago and that's just. That's been the last 18 years of evolution, growth and learning, really learning about myself, and that I don't feel will ever stop now, actually, you know, was there something in particular that?
Speaker 1:was there a breaking point in a day that you were like I need to get out of London and get me to nature, or did you find yourself going to this hill?
Speaker 2:you know, being put in situations where I've accepted that I could potentially die here. You know, whether that'd be on the train tracks or it'd be getting kidnapped and, you know, taken to my house and walked into my house while my parents had been there and my daughter, when she was one, you know that was the kind of thing that I'd been put under. And you know, and then the same year or in a very close time for that, I, whilst I was still you know, still still selling drugs in wembley, I used to go down to various places outside of london and I had friends outside of london and we used to go. I went down to kent one day. I went to see a couple of friends there and when I went to see my friend dave at the time he he was good friends with a guy called james who I was also friends with, and we were just chilling out one evening and I had no awareness then, I had no consciousness, I had no inkling of anything. I was self-absorbed, so thinking about myself, purely selfish, and then what happened was is we all went to sleep and me and dave woke up the next day, but my friend Daymar, he wasn't there. So we opened his door and sadly committed suicide.
Speaker 2:So that was probably a massive turning point for me, without even realizing it, because I wasn't aware, but it obviously did something for me in a way that made me question life as it would. You know. It's like why has someone done this? It didn't make me feel that way, question life as it would. You know. It's like why has someone done this, like why? It didn't make me feel that way, I didn't have the same feelings as him, obviously, but it made me value life and kind of grasp it more because I'd seen it. I'd seen something that was quite traumatizing and that taught me a lot. It taught me a lot.
Speaker 1:I can't even imagine. I'm so sorry you had that experience, but from there you were able to change the the way that you were dealing with life. Yeah, you then found other ways to cope yeah.
Speaker 2:So I mean, you know, when I was going to this forest and he just wants to go with a friend or a couple of friends, and I was sitting there one day and this was kind of like a massive turning point as well, I was sitting there and it's probably going to sound a bit woo-woo, but I'm going to go for it anyway and share it yeah, yeah, I'm all about that yeah, yeah, and I was sitting there and then I had one friend on my left and one friend on my right and they were both hysterically laughing and then I was kind of getting aware that there was more to me than my body.
Speaker 2:I was kind of going for that feeling. I was kind of connecting with the energy that sits behind me. And then one day when I was here sitting in the forest we were in like a big tent and I looked at my friend on the right and I saw this thing bouncing around him inside his body like a tennis ball Imagine, like a tennis ball just shooting outside different points of his body. And I was like what the is that like? And I turned my head back and I just ignored it. And I looked back at him and I thought I've just seen sickness in his body and I didn't say it to him. But then what he said to me was I told you, I'm sick. So I was like okay, that's interesting, because what I thought I've seen is sickness and without me telling him, he just told me that I've seen sickness in him.
Speaker 2:So that's when I thought I need to kind of explore this, we need to explore this. So then that's when I kind of learned holistic therapies and energy therapy and I found a reiki master who's now passed away, sadly, um aram kong, and he he explained to me what I was experiencing at the time and said you need to go deeper into this and heal yourself. You need to heal yourself because you have a very important role, which is to help other people and many other people. But before you can do that, you need to help yourself and discover yourself. Embrace all the pain that you've gone through, embrace all the trauma, let go, accept, accept, acknowledge and let go of everything, everything.
Speaker 2:And I how hard could that be? I'm still doing it now. It's a continuous process, you know. And letting go, you know when someone says to you you just need to let go. It's absolutely ridiculous when someone says that because in a society especially, and within our family constructs, we've not actually been taught how to do that. Well, how do we do that? How do we start to like? How does that happen? What does that look like? Do you know what I mean? So you know. Now I kind of know, and haven't ever an inkling of how to step into not be fearful of stepping into my emotion and my vulnerability and through that I'm able to identify the things that are no longer serving me and just releasing them, you know so I will give a bit of a insight to being around Titch.
Speaker 1:But it's like you're so calming and you calm me down all the time because I'm hectic and I'm chaotic and you just have this like wisdom about you because you've obviously done so much work. You've really gone deep. So about the progression and your training. So you said you trained as a Re much work. You've really gone deep. So about the progression and your training. So you said you trained as a waking master and you do waking.
Speaker 1:Now you do holistic therapies and plant medicine. You've told us what prompted you to explore that, but can you tell me about your experiences? What was the journey like from when you realized? At this point I think there's something here I need to explore. What has that journey been like that's brought you to where you?
Speaker 2:are. It's been the most challenging thing that I could ever, more challenging than anything else that I'd went has gone through. More challenging than seeing, you know, my friends, friend, commit suicide. More challenging than you know, more challenging than anything, because with greater awareness comes greater responsibility, and as we kind of proceed on what I'd call the path, or of doing the work, because what I mean by say doing the work, it's doing the work, which is internal and can be quite lonely when you're doing that, because most don't do it and most aren't ready to do it, and more so now. But at the time, time where I was then, it was just like I just need to go in. I need to go in to explore myself.
Speaker 2:One of the things that my Reiki master taught me at the start was circumstances do not matter, it's your state of being that matters, because the way you see your circumstances around you is depending on your state of being. You are the viewer and I thought what? What would you? I can't. And it's what it showed me is that I've been a victim, so I've been a victim for most of my life until I realized that I was, oh shit, I'm a victim. I don't want to be a victim, no more, and I took my power back. It's like no, I want to decide how I see the world, not the world decide on how I should see it. Do you know what I mean? And that is hard. It's not an overnight thing and, like I said, it's a continuous process of unlearning. Do you know what it is? It's a continuous process of unlearning and learning how to connect with ourselves and other people, because the way when we're kind of like, you know, confused and you know sick or anxious or whatever, it usually comes from a place of disconnection, and that's what going into nature had taught me. It was like, oh, actually I feel connected here. So I should learn to nurture this feeling of connection, see how it transpires.
Speaker 2:And the more I kind of connected and connected and connected with myself, I found that my relationships with other people would get healthier.
Speaker 2:I had very toxic and unhealthy relationships for most of my life actually, but when I started to connect with myself and understand and be okay well, kind of be okay, you know then I realized that the relationships with other people, through understanding and healing myself more and more and more I have the capacity to see more of what is in other people and see the I suppose what it is.
Speaker 2:It's when I saw the love that I can I have in my, I have for myself or in myself. I saw that in everybody. So when I see anybody that comes to me or on the street or you know, that's expressing some form of hate or say racism or anger or all these emotions. Now what I see from that is actually this person is expressing these emotions that I could take quite personally, or they're expressing these emotions because they are in pain and when you can see that someone is in pain and that's just a manifestation of it through these things and it can be a hard thing to see beyond that sometimes, but then you're actually able to really connect with them and be like, oh, I hear you.
Speaker 2:I'm listening to you. You're being heard right now, so I've gone off on a bit of a tangent. No, this is what you feel about it.
Speaker 1:That's great. Don't ever apologize for that. So, when you talk about your Reiki master, who is obviously someone who is very influential- for you has there been anybody else who you felt has really guided you?
Speaker 2:There's been many. There's been many people. I can't talk about this journey without talking about my work with plant medicines a bit deeper. Yeah, please do my journey from being a Reiki master, being connected to nature, being connected to plants and really really deeply sensitive to plants, as in I'll pick up a plant and immediately feel the essence of it, and I've always had that since I was a kid, but I'd lost it growing up and going to that forest was kind of teaching me that, no, these are. This is going to sound weird, but to some people not to me I don't care. But, like you know, these, these things around me are my friends, like the trees and the, the herbs and the plants and the flowers that grow there.
Speaker 2:Where that took me was to let me learn who. Where in the world are people still working with plants in a very traditional way, and that was, you know, in more primitive communities. So, you know, my travels took me to, you know, all across the world. Well, you know, to bali, for example was one place seeing bali and healers and spend time with them, but the most profound one was spending time with the. We call it the world is curanderos, where some people would label them as shamans, but I don't like to use that word. But curanderos are healers in south america and central america and north america, so that's just a word for healer. Curandero is a healer and a curandera is a female, female and male.
Speaker 2:But more specifically, I went to the amazon on a number of occasions to see how the working ayahuasca was of interest to me, and the first time I went there it wasn't just ayahuasca I was going for. It was to really be introduced to the, the system or the belief structures that are in place, that the that the medicines are used in. So they still very much work with the spirits of plants as their medicines, which is very, very powerful stuff. And I witnessed this and I still witness and see it to this day. And I went there for the first time. I drank ayahuasca in the middle of a hut in the jungle. Um again, no one knew where I was, no one could actually pinpoint where I was. We didn't really have. I remember I had a blackberry phone at the time. It was. It didn't work. I drank this cup of ayahuasca. I was on the floor. There was people shamans or maestros or curanderos around me doing their magic and spitting, you know, water all over me and blowing smoke in my face, and that was my introduction to it and that was about 12. No, that was about 14 years ago and since then I've I've worked very closely with this medicine and I would say it's probably an integral part of my, my healing journey.
Speaker 2:It's taught me so much. It's taught me. It's literally teaching me and taught me how to live. You know, it's very specifically teaching me how to live. So how should I conduct myself? How should I do this and what do I need to heal? And you know, how should I be with this person, how should I be with that person? It literally shows me that and if I'm sitting with someone in a ceremony, for example, it's guiding me to to help them.
Speaker 2:So you know, it's a very fundamental part of my journey actually, and but it's a very small part of a bigger thing. You know, it's about the connection with nature and it goes back down to again, what do we lack, or what do people lack when people come to me, and it's connection Whilst we've got, you know, all these modern things around us which are highly beneficial and useful. If we don't have an awareness of how they're affecting us, then what we will fall victim to is these kind of tools that we have available around us if we use them wisely will then become hindrances and would lead us to disconnection. Going into nature and being still and clear and feeling our feet on the ground, literally feeling the feet on the ground and laying on the floor. That's what connection is, you know, I mean the amount of times you see. If you, I don't know, I've not been on the tube in london for ages, but I would imagine you go on the tube and what? 80 of people are probably on their phones or everybody everybody.
Speaker 2:Well, there you go and that just shows, you know, and it's like we're human beings, like we need to be human with each other, not not disconnected. We're all connected anyway. So why don't we nurture that kind of connection and talk, talk to each other, you know, I mean. Well, it's powerful.
Speaker 1:Being able to have a conversation with somebody can really make your day. You ever see somebody walking down the street. This happened earlier, actually in liverpool street station. Some woman was walking through and she just had the biggest smile on her face. I just couldn't help but smile because she was so happy and I was walking around smiling then and other people smiled back at you. It is, it's a human connection.
Speaker 2:These little acts of you know, you see it on, you know fancy postcards or selling in a spiritual shop. Little acts of kindness go along, they really do. Like you know, I'll be walking down the street I do this more often these days and there might be a piece of clothing that somebody's wearing that I really like. I just stop and I really love your hat, like you know what I mean, and it's just like, oh, wow, like someone's acknowledged me you know what I mean or seen me, because we all like to be seen. You know, like I like to be seen. Everyone likes to be seen, everyone likes to be communicated with, except for the people that get scared. Like well, so what is it like? Well, and you get this in the cities, you know it's like oh, uh, what, okay, cool yeah, what is what do you want?
Speaker 1:you know what I mean? Yeah, it's so funny actually, when I moved to london like I've lived in many different countries and lived in lots of places all over the world, but I just spent an extended amount of time in ireland, where everyone's very friendly, very nice then I came to london and I was still super friendly and I moved into, like I said, I moved to Brick Lane and I very quickly realised you shouldn't stop and chat to everybody. Be nice to people.
Speaker 1:You don't need to talk to everybody. Not everyone has good intentions, but for the most part people do have good intentions To be nice to someone else, it means a lot sometimes a lot sometimes definitely, and I think just to elaborate on that a little bit it's.
Speaker 2:I guess it's the kind of the trap of the modern world in it that makes us think about paying our bills over everything else, and that's a bigger problem.
Speaker 1:But we can start little by little, can't we, and work that way so you have talked a bit about your journey with plant medicine and how impactful that was. If you don't mind sharing, can you remember the healing that came after that experience? You talked about the experience with the shamans around you. I can't remember the word the correct word. But after coming out of that, it clearly had an impact on you. You were like this is really powerful. What was that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean. So they say something like ayahuasca. It's often said that that could equate to if it's done properly, if it's done well, if it's facilitated right and you have the right support, what essentially could be 5, 10, 20 years of therapy could equate to three hours, and that's what it was for me, and that was the first time. That's what it was. Since then I've drunk many times, but it's the first time was like I was on the floor, I thought I was gonna die. I was surrounded by two strangers. I didn't know who they were, I couldn't speak their language, so I was like okay, so I'm in the middle of a hut here. I don't know where I am. I don't know where to go if I'm in danger. I mean it's jungle. I mean I probably get eaten by a jaguar or something.
Speaker 2:But you know, I was going into this state of fear and it was just like oh no, I just have to surrender. And just surrender, like, and just just lay here and surrender, and it's just like what that taught me was I'm able to do that, I'm able to accept that anything can happen to me at any time. I'm able to accept that I actually have family that love me. I was able to accept I've got people that love me. I was able to accept that I have the capacity to love them. I was able to accept that I've got people that love me. I was able to accept that I have the capacity to love them. I was able to accept or be grateful that I have a lot of things that lots of people don't, and it kind of showed me to go back home and foster these relationships and build on them and connect and strengthen them. That was the big message from the first time.
Speaker 2:A lot happened, but I'm just trying to, because people usually what's it like? What's it like? What's it like? And you've asked a really good question, because this is what I always say. So you know what, when you ask me what it's like, I've drunk over. I've drunk ayahuasca hundreds of times. So if you ask me what it's like when, so the question you just asked me is how did you benefit from it? And that's a question that I like to be asked, because that's what people should be asking.
Speaker 2:You know, what can I gain from doing this? How can this make me better and what it does? It kind of, and it does continue to show me that it humbles me, what all the things that I think almost of my self-importance I am. It's going to show me that I am nothing but I am everything at the same time and at any moment. You know all these connections that have with people and and as I've experienced, I've seen people.
Speaker 2:I've lost a lot of people along the amongst the years sadly passed away. That can happen to anyone at any time. So, kind of with my work as well, it kind of squashed my fear of death but it's also taught me to do is. It's also squashed my fear of living. So it's like, well, anything can happen at any time, so I'm just going to live. I'm going to live the best life that I can and help as many people as I can.
Speaker 2:That's the kind of fundamental messages that I've got from that first time and continue to get, from that medicine and what other people continue to get. It's like we're just here to learn. So if we're here to learn, let's make most of it. Do you know what I mean From all the experiences, all the ones that we label bad and all the ones that we label good? You know, I think we're kind of taught as well in this society in the west and probably other places as well as that and I'm just going to talk especially as a man as well like it's wrong to feel anger, it's wrong to feel grief, or it's not encouraged that we should dwell in these emotions too long and we should always be happy and so forth, but that's not realistic. We should embrace all these, the whole range of human emotions that we have.
Speaker 2:Obviously, just don't get angry at anyone on the street, but find the space where you can do that. If you're angry, have a support net. Find a support network and use it. Friends, it could be a counselor, it could be a therapist, it could be whatever works for you. Different things are going to work for different people and not everybody is going to be for everybody, because people have different, a different vibe, and people are attracted to different aspects of what a person has to offer. But it's just not being fearful to be again being vulnerable and to step into our emotion and feel it, because the more we shy away from it, the more it's like you put something in a box and you tuck it away. It'll only stay in that box for a certain amount of time until it pops up and causes all sorts of problems you know manifest into whatever.
Speaker 1:That was a beautiful answer. Thank you so much, and I totally agree, and I think it's becoming much more common now, which is fantastic, but we need to talk to each other. If you need help, you need to let people know you need help.
Speaker 1:And that can be a very scary Because it was always. You know, boys don't cry and that's not reality. We're humans. We all have to process. I think it's a really good message. Thank you for sharing and for encouraging not just people to talk, but especially men to talk, when traditionally it wasn't that you would go and share and talk about your feelings. We need to have more of that.
Speaker 2:Well, just to add on to that and just to add on to what you said, is like I spent, I suppose, most of my life thinking that I can do it alone until I realized that, oh shit, I really can't. I need some help here. And you know, I had to reach breaking points to come to that understanding. And you know, when I sit with people now men and women and whoever it's like I've always encouraged people to show their emotion and I I step into my vulnerability, because what that does is when I'm facilitating a session for somebody, if I can step into my own vulnerability, it encourages the person that has come into my space to also step into their vulnerability, to to be open.
Speaker 2:I'll be open and honest and I suppose kind of wear my heart on sleeve in that space because, especially for men, it's I suppose because of the experiences I've had in my life and I don't think I really try to pretend to be anything. There's no judgment coming for me. I'm quite unshockable because of all the things that I've seen and been for myself, and I think people that have come in my space really like that that there's no judgment here, I can just be, and that's what it is. It's creating that space where someone can just be and when someone is present in that space, where someone can just be and when someone is present in that space, that's when kind of healing really starts to accelerate, you know.
Speaker 1:I know that you can't share anybody's details. So, as confidentially as possible. Can you share a story of somebody that you've seen a transformation in? It might be something that's impossible to do without identifying them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100%, I have many, I have so many. So a lady came to see me. When she came to see me, she had a. She was really struggling to walk on her right leg. She sat with me for a few hours and we did some work and we did some listening to her body and listening to where she was coming from, where the pain was coming from, but we weren't focusing on it, because, you see, everything in the body and the mind and the spirit is all connected. So, whilst modern medicine, what that does? It identifies a specific cause and isolates it and just treats it alone, but what I do is treat everything together. The following day, she said, said to me um, so what was in my leg is trauma that has been stored and it's been released and it's gone and now I can walk fine, you know. So that's just one of the many examples.
Speaker 2:I had a friend the other day. He came around and he he kind of, you know, there's a lot of crying emotion, sobbing, deep, deep, sobbing, releasing, releasing, releasing. Uh, he's actually just texted me today. I think my eyesight's getting better, you know, but you know these kind of things. It's kind of like unbelievable stories in a way, but there is this reasoning. There's reason, reasoning for everything.
Speaker 2:So I always say I don't kind of really believe in luck, I believe in cause and effect. And you know, if you apply it it's like it's just encouraging that person to reconnect. And the way I see it is, if you know, it's just like a plant that grows it's if you give it the right conditions and the right environment it has better chances of thriving. And when someone comes into my space, I just try to create those that right environment for that person to to be safe. Firstly, because if someone is not feeling safe, then the healing can't occur. So safety is one of the first things I have to introduce into that space. And that's partly me. They have to feel safe with me, they have to. There has to be some element of trust. But that's why if you're working with someone for a few hours or multiple of sessions, that's where that trust gets built, and built, and built and built over time and eventually that it's kind of like I just uh, there's just so much trust and it's like that's when the work can really happen.
Speaker 1:You know, but yeah can you remember the first time that you thought this has really helped me and I need to help other people now?
Speaker 2:yeah, it was probably about 13 years ago, so probably when I, maybe a year or two after I, came back from Peru the first time. I can't remember the exact pinpoint moment, but but it was like you know what. I've got a lot to share and it's like it's not meant just for me. My healing is not meant just for me. My healing is meant to encourage and facilitate and spur the people on to do their own healing as well, if I can do that and be that kind of catalyst, because nobody heals anybody. It's always the person healing themselves. But what we can have along the way are helpers and catalysts.
Speaker 2:And like my Reiki master was for me, and like these curanderos in Peru were for me, and like these healers in Bali were for me, they weren't healing me, they were providing the space which allowed me to heal myself, and that was safety. Safety and listening to the body had very talented people, don't get me wrong. But you know it's ultimately that it was my body that does it. You know that's what gets misunderstood when it comes to healing. It's like no one's waving a magic wand on somebody. It's it's always the aim of facilitating that space for someone to be able to grow and evolve in the way that they need to, and everyone is different. So the more people you kind of see, or have seen over the years, it gives you gives me a diverse perspective on how to treat people with different physiologies and modes of thinking in different ways.
Speaker 1:So you have to kind of be aware of that as well such a fascinating topic and it's really refreshing to be able to hear somebody talk about it from their own perspective and what they experience and how now other people are learning, and I like what you said there that ultimately it's in the individual to do the work which is the scary?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, yeah that's.
Speaker 1:It would be lovely if we could go and have a magic wand waved over us but it's. The scary part is that you have to face things and deal with the consequences of what trauma you've stored and yeah, it's a really, really interesting topic, and now you actually have your own business working as can I say, holistic holistic therapy coach, if you like.
Speaker 2:I train in traditional chinese medicine. I'm a training herbalist as well, so I'm learning about the science and the chemical compositions of plants and how they affect the different systems in our body, whether it be the lymphatic system, the respiratory system, etc. And it's the relationships with humans and plants really, as you can tell, really fascinate me, just because I've gained so much from plants myself. It's it's nice to really get into it and learn more about how this is actually happening yeah, so you actually do this as your business.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, so you have your own practice.
Speaker 2:So one of the things that I so obviously I do, reiki is one of the things that I do, but it's not limited to Reiki, it's energy therapy, so I just put my hands on people and it's touch therapy, and sometimes that for 20 minutes is enough, you know. And Shiatsu, where I work on people's meridians, and TCM mode, traditional Chinese medicine mode of thinking, so it's the same use of the same system as acupuncture, but I'm using my hands, um, and it's called finger pressure. So I'm, you know, going on certain points. I'm assessing the meridian, or feeling the meridian, and seeing where there's an imbalance and just trying to harmonize it for that person. And then I can accompany that with giving that person herbs that might be useful for, and accompanying with all the other skills and things that I've learned as well.
Speaker 2:So what can this person benefit? How can this person benefit? You know what's his lifestyle or her lifestyle, like you know how they're living, what they're eating, and I try to do a very thorough kind of assessment and really listen to what they're saying, and sometimes it's like, oh yeah, my, my back's aching or I don't know, like it could be something very simple that they have not seen yet and it could be. Oh, I've got this pain in my abdomen or my gut and it's like so, what you eat and what you, how you, you know how? Should I have two coffees in the morning before I cut that out, do you know? I mean, it's the simple things that sometimes we need to be.
Speaker 2:Go to someone so just to get like a distance, a distant view on things you know. And when you get, when you start to see people's habits and the way they're, they're living, it's not just about saying, well, this, that and that are probably bad for you, but because you kind of have to also, depending on their lifestyle as well, give them the advice that they will actually be able to do. Do you know what I mean? So, slowly but surely, because we all have busy lives, right, and we all have our vices and whatnot. But if we're just saying this is these are 10 things that you must do and you'll be healthy, then no, it's not.
Speaker 1:That's why the coaching comes into it and the support is also necessary, you know this has been amazing because we've heard a proper journey and a story of healing and that's really special and thank you for sharing it. But I'm not done just yet. I've got some more questions. What would you say to young Titch now if you could have a conversation with him?
Speaker 2:I wouldn't have a conversation with him, I'd just give him a hug. I would literally just give him a hug, and I do that. Part of my inner child work that I still do now is revisit that person that I once was, that was hurt and in pain, and I do like a visualization where I can see him quite clearly and see what he needs, and most of the time it's a hug, literally most of the time, and I say it's all right, it's cool, you're good, you looked after now. Do you know what I mean? So that's that's the kind of work that I do with people as well. I try to get them to visit that in a child that was that that didn't get the things that we needed, because most of us didn't it's from my experience most of us didn't that's so beautiful.
Speaker 1:I thought you were going to be like don't get caught no, that's beautiful and when you look back at your hectic days running around london vandalizing, what did you learn in that period of life that you now still think about do?
Speaker 2:you learn any lessons that?
Speaker 2:are still impactful yeah, I learned that I'm quite good at getting off the mischief. That's one of the most valuable lessons I learned and, like I said, it's a transferable skill. You know like being able to duck and dive and get away with so much and just you know, kind of go on stealth and sneak into places. It's I don't know, it's something about it that is quite. Yeah, it's like you, I can do a lot. I can do a lot from just doing that. From from what I've done, I know that I can do a lot.
Speaker 2:And then it's actually the basis for you know now, when I that even that is very limited. So even what I'm talking about going to these training is very limited. So even though I'm talking about going to these train yards is very limited. So even though it's quite a big thing for a lot of people and it's seen as quite a big thing, so, oh, wow, you used to do that, or used to do this and used to do that. Oh, you've seen this, whoa. But now my, my vision is far, far, far, far more expansive than that. But it all started from that. You know, that kind of little titch running around not giving a fuck you concur not giving a fuck to bigger titch, who actually does give a fuck now?
Speaker 2:and you know, I want to build. I want to build something like big. I want to build something where I can continue to spread the vibration of love basically amongst people, and and it all starts from within myself. So the more I can kind of give that little titch a hug as well, the more I can kind of foster that environment for love within me, which is like a ripple effect, just like any emotion. You know, if someone walks around with fear or hate, then people catch that quite easily. If people walk around with love and peace and serenity, that also spreads like wildfire. So that's kind of like my purpose. My purpose in life is to continue to do that what about your hopes for the future?
Speaker 1:what's next for titch?
Speaker 2:what's next for titch?
Speaker 1:it's a big question it is a big question.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, it all seems to be um, I'm not sure what. This year has been pretty mad for me and it's like my life has accelerated like times 100 to the point where, you know, my therapy business has picked up and you know, I've been invited to co-host retreats in different countries and travel and, you know, do retreats in england and wales and scotland and stuff like that and like that's something that I can only see that growing and I hope for it to grow, because my hope for me is to continue to fill that purpose of um, continuing to help people, and if I can go in different places and do that, then I'm just spreading it everywhere, do you know? I mean, oh, yeah, come to morocco and do a little retreat in the Atlas Mountains. Yeah, I'll do that. Yeah, yeah. Or, because I've been to many places, I'll go into the Middle East and spread a bit of that, or go back into Peru and spread a bit of that, or go back to Bali or go back to wherever else I've been.
Speaker 2:Obviously, connect with me on instagram and facebook so they know what I'm up to. It's like, oh, this guy, we need to get him over, you know. So that's why people have called me over back to different countries to kind of facilitate. But obviously wasn't in the right space before this year, but now I am. It's just like I'm open to receive whatever is coming my way without forcing my way through life. So I've always lived with force in my life and what I've realized is since I've let go of dictating on how my life should be and where I want it to go, with such force like no no, no, this is the way it should be.
Speaker 2:This is as soon as I let go of that. It's almost like everything is flowing and kind of coming quite effortlessly, so I'm going to continue to chill out and relax I love that for you also.
Speaker 1:You are so already so chill, so I'm looking forward to seeing what more relaxed will look like. I've been chatting to other people about the pros and cons of having the manifest. I want this list because I don't have anything like that, I'm just having fun yeah, what are your thoughts on it?
Speaker 2:so, yeah, well, I've got something. Yeah, I mean, I think it's good to kind of like, have a like a bit of a mood board, but I also think the fundamental thing is, if what you're doing is bringing you, bringing you your highest excitement, and makes you joyful not just happy, but actually joyful in your soul, then it's probably the right thing to do and just continue doing that and following your joy, and that will change as you keep, you know, down the path. So it sounds like you're following your joy because it's bringing you joy to to do what you're doing. So I would say that's it literally. It's as simple as that.
Speaker 1:Yeah I'm good for this.
Speaker 2:I love this yeah, yeah, following your joy yeah, I just think it's really interesting.
Speaker 1:Some people are so interested in vision boards and they have their 10 things I'm going to achieve in the next three years, and you know some people are so driven on goals and then you're talking about just being open to whatever happens, and I think that's the right.
Speaker 2:Things tend to show up when you're open to them yeah, yeah, I mean I think it's nice to have a bit of a plan, but I think having a plan is good, but also what we need to kind of be careful of is having strong expectations and how that plan is going to pan out, because if we have those expectations, it's it's going to be emotional for us. It's going to be very emotional for us because if it well say, for example, I mean, if something doesn't meet our expectations and then we're disappointed and then we're defeated, and you know, it's like I think vague plans are good, but it's having to be just having aware, an awareness in the moment, and just being adaptable, you know, and being honest with ourselves and seeing honestly like where we're actually going and be like oh, is this where I want to be going? Yeah, it's okay, cool, let's carry on, or is we'll do something else then?
Speaker 1:Yeah, checking in, checking in. Yeah, so you are still very creative. You do still paint, but you're also creative in a lot of ways and you have lots of other things that you're interested in. I know that you actually used to be a musician.
Speaker 2:Can you tell I was in a hardcore. Well, the genre is hardcore, but the punk side of it's a hardcore punk. A London hardcore punk band called TRC. The revolution continues. And TRC were before. It was a band, it was the crew. It was a crew that I created and I still write that now, you know, and when I do a wall it would be TRC. And TRC was the crew which then, after a couple of years of graphing trc it kind of, then we were listening to that kind of music.
Speaker 2:I was into punk massively and hardcore punk, which is a bit more heavier and more breaky and you know it'd be like you know fast, fast drum beats and it just drops and breaks into something else. And london had again, london had a very unique style of of the way it happened and the way they did it. And we created trc and thought you know what? We're going to create a band, what's your name? It just name it trc. We're a crew anyway. So we kind of just created that and then we just kind of proceeded with that. You know I was. We did it for about five, six years or whatever.
Speaker 2:I kind of left off for some period of time because it felt wasn wasn't for me, and they went on and carried on, did it and then were quite successful, played, you know, all around quite a few festivals, quite a bit, quite a few big festivals, and played with big bands and stuff like that and not really still going now, but they are. They they're still there, but they don't really. They're not really producing stuff at the moment. So, but yeah, I'm still kind of involved in the scene and there was a lot of actual graffiti artists that came out of the hardcore punk scene, which is pretty cool as well there's such a connection between music and art, it's very overlapping no, absolutely, because I suppose it comes down to creation, isn't it?
Speaker 2:it's it, when you create, when you listen to music, you're listening to listening to something that somebody has created. Or if you make music, you're creating it. And even if you dj, like yourself, it's like you've created a playlist. You know you've created a selection of songs that you believe will go together and will flow nicely, even even when you're not making music, like you know producing music. I think, even by listening you're you can actually create, because when I sit at home, it's like, oh, I like this tune. Do you know what tune I should play next when I put this one on? Do you know what I mean? So you're actually creating as you're going and that creates a vibe and that creates an environment and that creates a whole new. You know you can. How do you want to go?
Speaker 2:you know it creates a whole new thing. And then I listen to music in my kitchen. It's like I've got these tunes on and I'm cooking and it actually affects the way I cook. Do you know what I mean? It's like oh, actually, to be fair, most of the stuff that I listen to is reggae these days when I'm cooking in the kitchen, but it always usually brings a lot of like spices and scotch bonnets into the curry or something you know that's really funny that you say that.
Speaker 1:so I have a friend shout out Lauren, if you're listening, she would not be into drum and bass like I am, but she listened to one of my recent shows. She messaged me after and said she doesn't know what that music did to her, but she cleaned her whole flat in the hour that it took her to listen to the show. It's just like you know, much higher BPM, higher energy really like gets you going. But yeah, absolutely I agree.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the power of music the power of art. Yeah, absolutely Absolutely yeah. The power of music, the power of art? Yeah, absolutely Absolutely yeah. Powerful things, aren't they? Powerful tools?
Speaker 1:That is pretty much coming up to the end of the time that we have. So, Titch, can you please tell us where we can find you on socials?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I have. My business is called Moksha Holistic Therapies and you know I'm based physically in in the p district, matlock to be precise, but I I also do online consultations and people can always reach me by wwwmoksha. Sorry, that sounds like a right plug, doesn't it? Wwwmokshaholistictherapiescom or mokshaholistictherapies on instagram. So I'm I'm responsive to both my via my website. Instagram's quite handy these days, isn't it really to be fair, everyone's got it. Or just type in Google mock your holistic favor, please, on my phone, and they'll all come up and just give me a call. Literally, just give me a call. I'm always available to take a call.
Speaker 1:Delighted that people, if they're interested in everything that you've just said there, that they'll be able to reach you. This was great.
Speaker 2:I knew you'd get a lot out of me.
Speaker 2:I knew you'd get a lot out of me and I just want to share, like in terms of, well, just going back to like the way we are and the way you know our state of being is and the way we move through life, and again, like if I could tell the younger version of Titch and if there are, like younger people listening to this or anyone listening, anyone listening to this, it's like one thing that I would encourage amongst anybody is just not don't be afraid of ourselves, you know.
Speaker 2:Don't be afraid to embrace who we really are and get to know the real us. You know, we live in a kind of world where we're bombarded with everything. You know, like it can kind of get messy and taking some moments to sit and with ourselves in quiet, in quietness, and relax and remember who we are, basically because we are so much more than the job labels. We are so much more than you know the graffiti name. We are so much more than you know what we do on a day-to-day. We're so much more than all of this. This is what I've come to learn, is what a lot of my clients say, that they've come to learn. As well as that, I'm so much more than what I thought was you know, so don't be afraid to connect with that that's what a beautiful message.
Speaker 1:And I'll just ask you one bonus question if that's okay, if there was one tool that you could give to somebody that wants to set out on a healing journey, it can be anything, but if there was one tool, or maybe a tool is the wrong word, advice perhaps. So I'm holding a pen and paper right now, so I'm thinking journaling, for example that's one that's very common.
Speaker 1:That's what I mean by tool. Is there one thing that you'd recommend for someone, or where should they start to look if they want to do some inner work?
Speaker 2:um, see, I'm going to go back to my own journey and say nature, natural environments. You know, even if we live in bigger cities, go to a park or if you can, if you're able to and you have the time on the weekend, go out. Go out of the city and find somewhere natural to spend your time in, because you will come to learn or realise that, if you're living in a bigger city and you haven't been out of it for a while, because you get used to and desensitise when we're around things a lot, and you will realise how much clarity you will have when you go out to somewhere with so much space, space and and you know, animals. I firmly believe that the more we observe nature and its movements and what it does, the more we learn about ourselves, because we're not separate from nature. We're actually an intricate part of it. So when I say go out to nature, it's actually we're going back to ourselves because we're part of it, you know.
Speaker 1:So spending more time in natural environments is is the one for me, and I would advise other people to do the same yeah, there's something really special about getting fresh air and it's getting a bit of a walk or even just being outside, so I love that message. Thank you very much, titch. Sadly, we've come to the end of our time, but this has been incredible and you have had such a journey and transformation, loads of lessons to share, and you've learned so much yourself and now you're sharing it with others. This was a really special conversation. Thank you so much for your time sincerely thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me on. A lot of people say that I have lived many lives in one life you have lived many, many lives, and you're not finished yet no, of course I've got many chapters of my book yet Exactly.
Speaker 1:There's loads of chapters left. Well, I can't wait to see what's next for you.
Speaker 1:Thank you again for your time and thank you always for your calming energy. It was just a really lovely conversation. Thank you so much. Thank you. There you have it. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of this Is Disruption. If you've enjoyed today's conversation, make sure to follow the podcast and never miss an episode. You can find us on all major podcast platforms Apple Podcasts, Spotify, etc. Also on YouTube. Stay connected with us on social media. You can find the podcast at this Is Disruption pod on Instagram and TikTok and you will find updates and snippets of upcoming shows. Until next time, keep challenging the status quo, embracing your creative spirit, and be brave. Go and create. Thank you, and see you in the next episode.