One Thousand Gurus Podcast
Everyone has a compelling story to tell with insights we can all be inspired by. J.R. Yonocruz is a software project manager, self-improvement blogger, relationship coach, dancer, stand-up comedian, and serial hobbyist with a passion for learning. He interviews unique guests from various fields to distill the strategies, habits, and mindsets we can use in our own lives. Each “guru” has a chance to give the audience a peek into a new world.
All links & socials
https://bio.site/onethousandgurus
One Thousand Gurus Podcast
#25: Alex Cristal - The Power of Solitude, Chasing Side-Quests, and “Soulmates”
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
A profound conversation with Alex Cristal on the intricacies of self-discovery, time management, and the importance of solitude. We dive into the dynamics of building a supportive community, how different relationships serve distinct roles in our lives, and reflections on emotional and spiritual well-being.
• Exploring the power of solitude for self-awareness
• The significance of community in personal growth
• Understanding and managing time as a finite resource
• Evaluating emotional and spiritual well-being (PEMS)
• Defining soulmates and their roles in our lives
• The importance of various relationships: playmates, mindmates, and helpmates
• Reflections on life experiences and lessons learned
Keep an eye out for more engaging discussions to help you reflect on your own journey!
Guest bio:
Kaba Modern 2010-2014 - Coordinator 2012-2014, Culture Shock LA 2014-2024, HVAC Parts Specialist, Jiu-Jitsu Amateur, Welding Amateur.
- IG: @alexcristal__ / https://www.instagram.com/alexcristal__/
Links/resources:
- KM @PACN 2011 (dance performance)
- KM @UCI Welcome Week 2010 (Alex’s choreography)
- The Bear (TV show - wikipedia)
- Worst & best relationship advice (On Purpose with Jay Shetty - IG video)
- Interstellar (movie - Wikipedia)
- Art of Manliness (website)
One Thousand Gurus Podcast:
Everyone has a compelling story to tell with insights we can all be inspired by. J.R. Yonocruz is a self-improvement blogger, relationship coach, and serial hobbyist with a passion for learning. He interviews unique guests from various fields to distill the strategies, habits, and mindsets we can use in our own lives. Each “guru” has a chance to give the audience a peek into a new world.
- 💻 Website: www.onethousandgurus.com
- 🔗 All links & socials: https://bio.site/onethousandgurus
- 📧 The Weekly Guru newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/c97a350b06d6/newsletter
- 📚 Learning guides: https://stan.store/marloyonocruz
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of 1000 Gurus with me , your host , jr Yonacruz . So today's guest is Alex Cristal . Alex Cristal was on Kamamodern from 2010 to 2014 , being a coordinator for the last two years he was on the team . He was also on Culture Shock LA from 2014 to 2024 .
J.R.He's an HVAC parts specialist , a jiu-jitsu amateur and a welding amateur . He also enjoys long walks at the beach , solo dates at Disneyland and has an AMC A-list membership . So he's an avid moviegoer and he also works out a lot Like he's in peak physical form . Just imagine a 5'5 , 5'6 Filipino , greek god and he goes to the gym an impossible nine days a week in order to achieve those results . I'm not lying . Check out his Instagram . You won't see anything to validate any of those statements .
J.R.Anyways , this episode was so much fun probably the most fun I had recording an episode and it's probably because Alex and I go back 15 years or so when we first joined Copa Modern as newbies , and I think we're both about 18 years old . We have similar values and humor , as you can tell that we just get each other and we love joking around with each other . But this recording was not only fun but also very insightful as we cover topics like the power of solitude , the power of building a community , knowing oneself , the concept of time , understanding our own emotional states and what role we play in people's lives and what roles they play in ours .
J.R.Overall such a deep conversation that rejuvenated my soul in many different ways and I admire this guy so much and hopefully we can do a part two with some of the gang our newbie class sometime in the future . So , without further ado , hope you enjoy this episode with Alex Crystal .
Interview Start
J.R.All right , Alex , welcome to the show .
AlexThanks for having me , man , nice you are the second Alex I've .
J.R.Welcome to the show . Thanks for having me , man . Nice , you are the second Alex I've had on the show , so I had to update your brief with Alex C Cool . Just a fun fact , you're also one of I feel like half of my guests are either like Filipino , fema content creators , gay dudes , and you might fit into a couple of them . Stop , I'm sorry . We've known each other for a while and we're really weird and you might fit into a couple of them .
AlexI'm sorry . We've known each other for a while and we're really weird .
J.R.I think half of my humor comes from my modern first year with this dude and all of our oldies and super oldies that were just so out of pocket .
J.R.And I'm like I guess this is my life now , but anyways . So , yeah , thanks for being here , alex , let's see . Yeah , we go way back . I'll just go into how I know you . So we met in 2010 when we both joined couple modern . I just had arnell on the show this as of this , recording his episode's going live tomorrow or monday , so that was like my favorite episode .
J.R.Don't tell anyone else , but it was my favorite episode yeah , I know like it's like it's almost expected for his to be one of my favorites , but to see it and be like , wow , I could go for four hours .
AlexSo his was really good .
J.R.So we met on Cover Modern , our newbie year , first year . We were both first year , same age , and that was 2010 . And we danced for about three years on Cover Modern and then since then you know like we see each other every couple years usually it's for june another guest of mine , usually for her life events , so like her going away or coming back or graduating or getting married , whatever . So it's great to be able to see you every so often . And , yeah , our annual holiday parties and whatnot , and I know you're up to a lot of different things and we'll get into our topics . But , yeah , any clarifications on that ?
Alexno , dude , it's . I know it's been . We don't see each other often , but I know every time we do link up it it's like time has passed .
J.R.But yeah , time has not . Yeah , yeah , yeah .
AlexSo it , first of all , it's just an honor to be here , because I rarely think , do things like this and being asked to , I guess , talk to your audience about whatever it is that you're interested in or just who I am . It's like an honor and a pleasure to be here , so thank you .
J.R.Yeah . Yeah , pleasure is also mine too . I was telling a lot of people that usually my podcast guests are half the time . It's we're just catching up because I want to reconnect with some of my old friends . But also , like I was telling Jesse right before this , it's so crazy how a lot of my particularly my Cobble Modern class and all the people I've known through them and other dancers and whatnot in the Irvine community but it's crazy to see how , 10 , 15 years later , how crazy our life journeys have been and how far everyone's come obviously you included . But I guess , looking back , as an 18 year old , I didn't expect my class to have achieved so many cool things and have done so many cool things and to look back
Dancers, Mindset, and Being on Kaba Modern
J.R.and be like , wow , what is it about all of us dancers who just do this shit for fun ? But then we have these crazy life adventures , something that I want to learn about , which is why I have you guys on the show .
AlexAnd just to see , to connect the dots and hopefully share that with the audience . To me that's been like a really like big pleasure and honor for me .
AlexSo yeah , yeah , dude , I think , going on that topic , or that mind wrestling of , like us being dancers , yeah , achieving or just doing things . I think I can like brag , brag I don't know if that's a word , but do it say this , but dancers are very in tune with really who they are , physically , emotionally . So I think also , just the exploration of um yourself in terms of music , in terms of art , makes you more , maybe possibly more prone to exploring , more to life .
AlexYeah , and I think that's why the people that you have on this podcast , or even our class or the people that you're interested in learning , have done so many different things because they are very much well in tune with who they are , again in all different types of levels .
J.R.So I think that's great man yeah , I like that , and something I talked about with andy as well andy ho , like I think it's also on top of that is like the mindset that we get from our mentors , our oldies , the people who guide us , that somehow , I seem , it seems like it translates a lot into whatever else we do in our career paths , our life journeys and stuff like that .
J.R.That I feel like have served me personally very well and I feel like it served a lot of us well too yeah , so I think that I can't understate the importance of being in an environment like that , where you're so inspired to hit the next level and I always tell people in like comp teams at this but if you feel like you're , the newbie comes in . You're like man , I'm the worst dancer here . That's the right room to be in , right because that's how it feels like you're , like I feel so inadequate and imposter syndrome , but that's set you up for the most growth because it's a sweet spot .
AlexThat's a sweet spot because you don't want to be in a room where you're the best and it's like you're in the wrong room isn't there like a quote , where it's if you're smart , if you're the smartest person in the room , you're on the right room ?
J.R.exactly that's what I'm referencing yeah , so I felt I think for me call modern was that was like I was in the . I was in the right room for so long and that set me up for everything else , and I feel like it's the same for a lot of us .
AlexOh , that's a great point because before I joined Cobb Modern there were different teams I wanted to try out for right .
AlexThere was like Common Ground , especially Common Ground since I was on Underground right I felt Cobb Modern was the place that I felt was like I can grow the most out of you , you know , and even when you were talking about the people that you can outsource with .
AlexI think that's also a big reason why I joined Cobb Modern , because the alumni base , what I saw , what they did after Cobb Modern , was like wow , they're still doing big things not to say that other teams don't do that , but I do know , or I saw a lot of inspiration and ambition that the alumni had , or different types of people that I'm like wow , even after Call of Modern , they were still doing things that I also would like to pursue or even just be interested in . They had a great , strong foundation of the team or who they were . On Call of Modern and also after , I was like wow , this is , this would not set me up , but I think this would be a trajectory of growth that I could see myself grow in into a person that I would like to be . Right , yeah .
J.R.Call of .
AlexModern did that for me , I think . Definitely . I agree with that too .
J.R.And I'll say on that note you know , joining as newbies and being in that class of look , I feel like I'm the worst . So disclaimer Alex was the best of the worst . So of our class of like 12 people , he was at the top of the food chain . Man , I was literally at the bottom , like this motherfucker . You were not at the bottom , I was . Clearly I could do a backflip . That was it that's how I got at the bottom but alex was at the heat choreographed pieces as a newbie .
AlexI was like this motherfucker , I gotta catch up to him , I do appreciate that , man , but what I do want to kind of throw it back at you . I always what I did really admire about you , dude , is that you were always working and I think I took a lot from that , where I mean especially like you , saya , of course , everyone else in our class but you specifically I would always see you working on your craft and I think that also inspired me to be like dude jr's putting work . I should also put in work because you're the side like always freestyling or creating or doing whatever it is that you wanted to get better at , especially again your mindset of oh man , I need to pull up , I need to keep up with my class or my oldies or everyone else for turners . That I think I also saw inspiration with that where damn JR's also putting in so much like work on the sides or any single downtime that JR had working on the sides or in the Crawford small mirrors that we had .
AlexI think that was like a takeaway that I saw from you is that you would always work , and I think that was like one of my mentalities of we can probably get into this with later on in the podcast where , in terms of influence , but I think one of my biggest mottos is don't let anyone outwork you , especially in that kind of environment , and I don't think that not to say that I outworked everyone , but it was , I think , to a point where I wanted to work as hard as , let's say , you , saya can . We also worked super hard and everyone else that was part of our class that I just saw crazy work ethic that I wanted to also implement in my daily rehearsals or outside of rehearsals or things like that .
J.R.So dude , thank you , yeah , no , thank you for the the kind words I appreciate that , yeah , man and and I guess we'll go on more of a modern tangent , but I also attribute that like our work ethics and where we learn that from , specifically from like our oldies and super oldies , because I remember watching right , we go onto the team and we're like why are these people so amazing ? And you watch them . And you watch someone like Darren , who's like already talented , a dancer , choreographer , freestyler , and he's still working the hardest and he's our director , our coordinator , and we working the hardest , and he's our director , our coordinator , and we're like okay .
AlexWell , if this dude is working hard , what am I doing on the ?
J.R.sides , right , man . So , yeah , it's the environment that we're in that I feel like .
AlexAgain , I think it lends to where we are at life now , or our mindsets on how we achieve or approach things for sure , and I think I also relate to that too , where I knew that , of course , not everyone is going to work hard , but I knew that the people that didn't work as hard I was like I don't want to be a person that I knew that , not to be labeled as a lazy person or anything , but I just knew that I wanted to work just as hard as the hardest worker in the room , of course , and that was again , again , darren , a couple of our oldies , um , returners , even like our class .
AlexThat yeah , you saw that , of course , and also even being a newbie , you have to work hard in some environment . But there's another level that you had to push , because there was times where I think some of our class didn't work as oh yeah , for sure , but it's like newbies , you guys are fucking up . Yeah , it's not me .
J.R.I promise , like I know my piece dude , like I've not slept in three days I've just been dancing . Yeah , I know it's been practicing . I see my bed . I'm like no , I gotta dance on the side right , dude , right , yeah , yeah , oh my gosh .
J.R.Some good times , man . Yeah , all right , real quick . Before we get to the first topic , solomon , I sent a couple of links late in the email . We don't't have to get to it , but if we do , if you're able to play it I know you're doing a lot of things , but they're just Alex's videos I've got to send it . Oh my gosh , yeah .
AlexWe don't have to get to it . I know it's a lot , but if he's able to , I sent it , but anyways ,
Meet Alex: Origin Story & Main Influences
Alexall right .
J.R.So first was , I guess , paint a picture for our audience . What was it like growing up for you , your household , where did you grow up ? And then what were , like , the main influences that led to where you are today ?
AlexFor sure , man , I think the main influence that I really had in life well , I grew up in Southern California right , Still live here but the biggest influence I had was my family . That was huge staple and foundation of who I am today and how . I'm the youngest of three siblings me , my brother , my sister and I just saw it was easy for me to follow quote unquote in their footsteps .
AlexBut also I just had that influence of them to see what they did and either take from that or learn from quote unquote their mistakes , whatever it is that they felt that they didn't do right or also did right , but I knew that my brother and my sister were the people that I looked up to first , maybe second , because my parents were the first people I looked up to first , and I don't know . Man , it's just like a blessing where my family was just very loving and very thoughtful . I really had no quote unquote , like real issues or trauma with my family . I mean natural , regular siblingship and things like that .
AlexRegular family stuff yeah but it's nothing to the point where I thought that I had to fix or possibly go to therapy about it .
AlexYeah right , so luckily , I've been very blessed with a family that's very loving , very successful in ways that I can look up to and be like man . That's the type of people that I want to be . Yeah , so that was like the first major major influence that I thought of who the person I wanted to be . Yeah , so that was like the first major major influence that I thought of who the person I wanted to be is looking out to my family , especially like my brother , my sister and my parents .
J.R.Yeah , cool I know like maybe I know you've done a lot of different things and like career path might not be like one of our main topics , but like growing up what was kind of like your life . I don't want to say purpose , but what was your direction .
J.R.What were you like ? Okay , I'm elementary school , middle school , high school . What were you ? What were your aspirations around
Childhood Dream: NBA
J.R.those times growing up ? Oh man , I wanted to be a nba player . Okay , why'd you do it ? You got the right . You know like you can sing . Well , just go for it .
AlexShoot for the stars , chase your dreams no , I really wanted to be a nba player . That was like the first dream that I had . I think also , basketball was the first love that I understood like what love was besides loving my family yeah outside of family .
AlexBasketball was the thing that I was driven and motivated to be because I knew I had a natural talent for it . Like I would play travel basketball when I was in fourth , fifth , sixth grade , like go to Indiana , go to Vegas , arizona , san Diego , florida yeah , to play basketball on his travel team . And I think it also got to a point where my parents wanted me to possibly go to the Philippines To play there like in their league . Yeah , to train and play there , because I believe one of my uncles used to play things called the PBA Filipino Basketball .
J.R.Association .
AlexSo they were thinking of me possibly going there . I was also supposed to go to Mater Dei for basketball , but I went to true high school . That's a different story , yeah , but going back to it , yeah . That was my first driven motivator of achieving a dream that I had as , like a kid , is to be an NBA star .
J.R.So how long were you doing like basketball at that sort of level or intensity ?
AlexI was doing that until probably until high school okay , so like from elementary , like what , yeah , like maybe sixth grade to not sixth grade before that third grade to eighth grade .
AlexI believe yeah , that was like a I wouldn't say like real possibility , but it was something that it could have happened . If that was something that I would push for . But as a kid man , you know like how would . How do you really know ? Maybe some people have that innate with them that they're like dude . I have to do this and yeah , it's circumstances too where I know a lot of nba players have against situations where dude I need to make it out of this poverty situation where I need to really work hard and be this type of person .
AlexBut and not to say I didn't have that but at the same time I didn't know as a kid if that would be a possible like trajectory of a career or a life that I really wanted . Because , you know , if my parents asked me like hey , what do you think about going to the Philippines to play basketball ? As , like a sixth grader , I'm like I want to be with my friends .
AlexIt's like how do you really make that decision ? Or how'd like that think process of thinking what 30 or 20 to 30 years into that future , as like a sixth grader or a fifth grader . It's like tough have so but no yeah , that was my first real motivator to be and be a star .
J.R.Yeah , I like that um , so I guess a couple of things . So then , so what was like your shift ? I guess focus , going in , out of high school , going into college , so that's one thing , or we can go into this other question , and it's a weird question , but I'm just curious your thoughts , but it's if you had to give yourself like a title , identity , mission statement , or like , how would you self-identify ?
Alexyeah , I think in terms of the first , maybe I'll answer both . The first shift , I think , was when I was in high school . I don't know what happened , maybe I do know , but I lost the love of basketball . I think being maybe putting too much pressure on these expectations of myself of wanting to be the best or I need to do this X , y , z .
AlexI just didn't felt like that was something that I really wanted to do anymore , and I think that's why I took up dance , because that's something that I felt that was pulling my heart towards more instead of basketball .
J.R.When you met Kobe , did anything change ? Did you want to go back to basketball ?
AlexOh man , that was such a fun . I mean in college , I think , when you're not playing at a really high level , I'm like man , this dream's probably dead .
J.R.It's dead , it's in the ground , you know .
AlexYeah , Even in high school too . If you're not , I mean yes , you can work super hard and do all the things correct . I think if you're a star in high school and you're getting recruits from colleges , I think you would know . You would know at that point , you would yeah , but during high school I wasn't recruited or anything like that . I still knew I had a natural ability to play basketball , but again , I was thinking of more of the list of things that might not make me like successful in the nba .
J.R.Like my height what you know , alex , you're like six , seven , like we . Yeah , if you're watching , if you listen to the audio , he's so tall . If you're watching the video , don't watch the video , just vfx .
AlexJust extend his torso no , yeah , I mean , of course there's like exceptions like mugsy bows , I think he was like five three uh , so I think that was also , uh , maybe a huge motivating factor . But yeah , during high school I just knew at the time yeah , I don't think the nba life or even just basketball pursue as a career something that I really wanted digging deep down . I really wanted yeah for my future yeah , cool , we do
Alex's choreography
Alexhave the videos .
J.R.Thank you , solomon . So on that note , so he shifted from basketball to being a crazy dancer so I guess , we can play . Play one of the next videos , let's see . So alex is one of the Filipino dudes , if you just look carefully . I'm kidding .
AlexThere's a lot of Filipinos on stage , that's true , you're at the blue right .
J.R.Yeah , yeah , yeah .
AlexHey , that's you too .
J.R.That's why I picked this clip . Oh , you're right , and we're both in this , hey , oh , get it , and that's your brother .
AlexThat's right man 2011 .
J.R.Wait , did you work up ?
Alexthis yeah me and Young .
J.R.Oh , you and Young . Yeah , yeah , yeah , that's right , that's right . Hey , can I put you in this piece ? No , because you hated me . Remember . I did not hate you . You're , like this motherfucker's , the bottom of the food chain . He's not going in my piece , oh man .
AlexI did not hate you , man , yeah , but that's funny .
J.R.Yeah , second video we good , oh no .
AlexKeep going ? Okay , yeah , but anyways , thanks for playing that . Yeah , no , no , yeah , throwback , right , yeah , I forgot , I got one more I'm going to set it up in a second .
J.R.It's all good , yeah , it's crazy that you found it man , I think it's because I remembered that you hated me . That's why I blocked it out . Oh , here's more Alex's choreo .
AlexAnother piece I didn't put you in Broccoli , right yeah ?
J.R.because Alex fucking hates me , this guy's trash 2010 . I was even looking if I was in the back of this piece and I was not no well , I did learn it . I learned this piece Over . I did learn it . I learned this piece .
AlexOver time , I loved you man . Thanks , you were in 300 .
J.R.It's not where we start , it's where we end up . I remember every time this piece would live rent-free in my brain , just your choreography . I actually honestly , I did really love your choreography because it always made sense oh thanks , man . Thanks , choreography is cool , but I really like when choreographers match like the intention , the words , the music to the movements and that's there's like a magical sort of like combination of those things that you can tell when you like someone's style , and so I really always liked your style thank you man .
AlexThank you , I appreciate that too bad , I was never in your piece so I could never enjoy the stage you were in .
J.R.300 invented sex those were to do , to do a flip . No , that's why I'm on the team , man , just to do fucking backflips oh , that's funny all right , okay , so we got that out of the way . Oh yeah , any thoughts on the last thing , which is like how would you self-identify a mission statement ?
Alexthat's a tough question . I don't know specifically like a mission statement . I just , I think , live by the motto , couple mottos of leaving something better than you found it , or another blurb that I think about is I don't know if I believe in like a heaven or hell , but if there is a heaven , it is here and you can , wherever that you interact with , make it a heaven for them . So , yeah , I just try to be as kind and nice and , again , be the best version of myself . I think that's like a blurb of my mission statement of life .
J.R.Yeah , I can see that . I think that's completely true . So next topic is like a conglomeration of things but hobbies , side quests , solitude and community . I felt like those kind of lumped together but maybe I was forcing it . But you mentioned concept of time
The Concept of Time
J.R.in quotes . I would like to know what that means or what direction .
AlexOh man , I think I have a love and hate relationship with time . I think even just watching those videos , it's like the time has passed so long and you kind of just think where did the time go ? And it always wraps in my head of again how fragile time is , how relentless time time is , how unforgiving time is , and even , like what you did yesterday , felt like it could feel so new , but it could also feel like years ago . Um , and yeah , I'm trying to do better , as in staying present in the time right now , like present , being as present as possible , but I do have a mental tug of war of looking back in the past and looking to my future , of how I can use my time the best that I can , time management or xyz , because I think everything , for me , the most essential asset that you can have in life is time .
AlexFor me you can always gain more money . Lose money right you can . Health-wise , yes , there's different circumstances with health , but friends , family , but time , it always marches forward , it doesn't stop .
J.R.It's a finite resource . Yeah , man you can't renew it .
AlexYeah , it could bend . There's a quote for Interstellar , one of my favorite movies Time can bend , it can slow down , it could be fast , but it never stops . And that's a thing that I am , I don't know so wrapped in my head about is again the concept of time and also just I don't know , maybe I'm like suffocating in my hands of how to be like uberly efficient with everything so I can free up my time with this and that or , and I'm using , I need to use like I need to use my time wisely so my future can look like this , or even looking back at the past , it's like man , did I use my time like the best that I could in this situation and did I lose time ? Because I me . One of my biggest pet peeves is wasting time , because , again , it's like a finite resource where you can't get it back .
AlexThat does sometimes dictates the things that I do when I , before I maybe go into maybe a social event or commit to maybe a new career or whatever it's like , will this be worth my my time ?
AlexCan I use my time more wisely ? Because , at the end of the life , whenever that is , I don't want to think that I didn't maximize the time that I used here in this physical vessel right now . So , yeah , I think that's like a huge thing for me where it's again , like you said , a finite resource that I constantly think about of , again , like being punctual or being , yeah , using your time as wisely as you can , but also trying to stay as present as I can , because sometimes , for me , when I lose time , I get very fearful and then I get very anger these qualities of myself that I don't like . It's like , oh man , I'm wasting time , right , like in traffic , pet peeve , traffic . I'm like I'm wasting time like I could be doing something else . Luckily , though , we live in a world where I can listen to podcaster music , but , yeah , man , time is a huge thing that I just constantly , constantly think about .
J.R.I like that , I like those reflections . One thing that it made me think of was there's like that Tony Robbins quote , where it's like time is an emotion Meaning you know , in a different interpretation , like you know how time can feel very fast and it can also feel very slow , yes Right . Like the waiting room of a hospital , can feel really slow .
AlexYeah .
J.R.With someone you enjoy , it could be like over in an instant .
AlexSo it's like an emotion , Right Correct .
J.R.So like I was thinking about that too and one of the things I've talked about with people before is like I , but in some instances some people say , wow , where did the years go ? Where did 2024 go ? Because it feels like it just happened in an instant , Whereas some people can be like , wow , my year was so filled it felt longer than it was compared to other people . And so one of this concept I learned is it's a strategic thing where you purposefully do more novel things in your life , meaning when you do the tedious , monotonous sort of stuff , time collapses so it feels like it just went away like that .
J.R.But when you fill your life with things and activities that are more novel , that you can anchor in time , oh yeah , I did this big trip in March and then , oh , in January I did this other thing , and then in April was my birthday , and then in December we had this thing , and then in April was my birthday and then December we had this thing . So now time is now expanded , because you've had so many things , anchor points , in your memory .
AlexSo now your , your year feels more full .
J.R.And that's one of the reasons why I do my yearly reviews with all the things I've done . I take photos , I put who I'm grateful for and all these like achievements . So when I look back , my future self can look what did I do in 2022 ? Oh , I did a bunch of shit . Like that expands my year and it makes me feel like I have more time , right , man ?
Alexright , yeah , I think that's a great point is to do things that make you feel so fulfilled that when you do look back , it's like , man , I use my time wisely , right , and uh , I mean I even I'm trying to do better at this . But I know , recently I just I actually just came from like a trip , like a . I went to l to London and Paris , oh , cool , like last week , yeah , with great amazing people , just for fun . Yeah , I mean , we watched Justice in London . What's Justice ? You know the French . Djs .
J.R.Oh , it was like a concert . Yeah , yeah , yeah , okay , okay , okay .
AlexWe went there to watch them in London , and then we just wanted to go to Paris . But , kind of going back to like concept of time . It was that was like useful time that I like to use my time for Well spent , right yeah .
AlexThis too . This is time that I'm gladly I'll be able to spend as again like reconnected with old friends . Yeah , I don't know , man . It's a crazy concept where you look back on all the years , like even looking back at these like videos . Where did the time go ? And next what ? 12 , 13 years probably meet up again like dude , remember this podcast .
AlexYeah , yeah , of course , right , it's uh I don't know man I even think that it's so crucial to do , I don't know not everything in a timely manner too , but so many tv shows , so many industries rely so much on time . I used to . Well , I haven't finished the show yet , but I've seen the show the bear have you heard about it .
AlexIt's about a bear it's about like a cooking kitchen a bear cooks like no , no , but it's like a cooking show or not a cooking show , but it's like the their environment in like a kitchen and one of their main , I think , mottos is every second counts , and especially in the kitchen , every second counts , right , and I think in a lot of tv shows reality tv shows , like game shows it's like time and um , oh , cooks , you have one hour to make this meal . Or like , uh , designers , like shows , like fashion shows , it's always time . Because whenever I think of time , it's like I hear a lot of people always say , man , I wish I had more time . Right , there's so many movies , there's so many books , there's so many friends that I have like events that I couldn't go to because I didn't have enough time . And I do think a lot of Quote unquote successful people use their money for time Right Buy back their time somehow .
J.R.Yeah , yeah .
AlexOf course , if you have the money , you put up your own company , you hire employees , so you don't have to do the work , outsource some of that stuff , yeah . Or you have someone drive for you , right , you have a limo not a limo driver , but like a specific driver , or a maid or whatever it is , so you have more time to do things that are maybe important . More important I mean not to say that those things aren't important , but things that could excel in a way that you feel that you could use more time for , and I always think about that where it's can I use my time more wisely , how efficient I can be , and what will again make my .
J.R.When I look back , how would I feel putting time into this thing and I think that's just something that I just always , always , constantly think about , sometimes maybe a little bit too much , you know , cause it's like so meta thinking about how I'm using my time spending time thinking about it .
AlexNo , yeah , man , like it's , like it's even as simple as like scrolling through Netflix . I'm like man , do I want to pick this ?
J.R.Cause it's an hour and 30 minutes of my time and then like the next two hours figuring out how I can spend the next two hours .
AlexYeah , I feel it . Yeah , man , that's a , it's a conundrum I'm trying to figure out . But yeah , I think it's good that I'm a self-aware .
J.R.Oh , for sure , yeah , okay . So I have a ton of questions and we're running out of time but so so here my next three , whichever ones you feel like are called to you the most .
J.R.So first one is hobbies and side quests so whatever that means or what kind of direction that you might go for that . The second one is solitude and doing things on your own , like how that is important or what that has played in your own life , in your own journey . And or three , being a part of a community and like how does one build or find their own community ?
Alexand then any important lessons on
Solitude, Side Quests, and Community
Alexthat , oh okay , a lot of different topics that I can go into first , I think , being in solitude and doing things on your own , it's easy for me I can say this because I don't have kids , right , I don't have a girlfriend that you know of that's true , that's true I was gonna say joke it's okay anyways .
AlexBut yeah , dude , I don't have those specific responsibilities that I have to . It's not have to , but to use time for those things that fill up in my weekly , monthly , yearly , like responsibility , right . So for me , I like to do things a lot on my own and this kind of goes into hobbies , where I like to go to disneyland by myself a lot , I like to go to the movies by myself a lot , go to different events , go to kind of date yourself . Yeah , go to lunch , dinner , breakfast , go to the beach . I think that hopefully , audience members that , if you see this , have like their own introspective , introspective reflection of what makes you do the things that you like to do , what makes you want to do those things , like why you want to do those things , and I think being in solitude and being by yourself really helps you analyze what probably makes , like , your spirit come alive , or without any peer pressure or outside influences that may affect your decision making of things that you want to pursue Right , and I think that also goes into side quests and hobbies .
AlexAlso goes into side quests and hobbies , like when I was doing a lot of things for myself , I took up I haven't done this in a while , but I took a jiu-jitsu , took up welding not great at those things , but I think those are like side quests in life that I decided I wanted to do , not that I knew anyone else did it , but because I think I knew you were interested very interesting .
AlexYeah , and when you do spend time with yourself , you read a a lot of books , a lot of articles , a lot of different things , kind of just gather information without outs . Yes , those are influences , but not to say that having friends won't influence you or would influence you . You tend to have a different type of processing of information when you are by yourself and do things on your own to decide where you want to go , take your next step in whatever it is that you want to do .
J.R.I think that's important too , cause I think that's one of the things I also admire about you and I feel like a lot of the audience can take away is the importance of solitude , I guess is what we're saying , because I think a lot of people I think it's fair to say that they're scared of being alone and they feel like they need to do things with people go to the movies with someone or go to Disneyland with someone and stuff like that . But I think there's inherent value for the audience who that sounds very uncomfortable , to try to lean into that , because you will introspect more , you will find out more about yourself and when you have less of those external pressures , like you said , and you're able to pursue those interests from an unadulterated , non-filtered version of yourself yeah I feel like you can find more deep fulfillment and self-awareness on that yeah , absolutely , and I think also a big thing that I have done in the past is like zero social media , for let's just say , try for like a day yeah
Alexall right , and then try for a week , and try for a month , and then try for three months and see where really like how you tend to go about your day or go about these things that you might not be like influenced by because , of course , we're very connected on social media yeah , it's like oh man , this person's do this , it'll be fun . Oh man , my friends are doing this ?
J.R.this would be great , yeah right .
AlexBut when you don't for me , when I don't have those type of downloading those things onto my mind , you , I for me I really tend to think like , okay , this is actually what I might be interested in , let me just go and try to do it without anyone else's um thoughts , which is , I think , a good thing . Could also , you know , be a little bit different for other people , but yeah , that's how I like to operate is just try to not feel a societal pressure of me doing certain things because everyone else is doing it Exactly .
J.R.Find out whatever it is that you're like itching to do you know that is one of my dreams is to be completely disconnected off of social media .
AlexLike literally one of my princess dreams is not ever having to open Instagram or Facebook or anything .
J.R.Unfortunately , unfortunately , like the way my life is set up , it's like messaging and it's yeah get things done and I'm on a I'm on a college team so I can't get off of it . But that is my goal for the next few years is to get off social media yes , I mean , I think kind of going into this too , like lead waiting to .
AlexThis other part is I think social media is great for community , man , of course . Yeah , you know you have a great community that I see you always posting and always showing love to . That's something that I feel I hope that someone or anyone listening to this , or whoever everyone in their life has a community and like a village that they could go back on . And for me it's like , first my family , right , it's like modern class that , yes , I rarely see , but I can always connect with my culture shock dance team that I'm still very connected to even though I'm not on the team anymore , that I can always feel like I'm a part of something that again , like inspires me to be a better version of myself or find inspiration that I want to live a type of life with these people around me , you know .
AlexAnd community , I think it's like a huge thing to have .
AlexYes , we're here by ourselves , like in terms of like you living your own life and you spearheading the things that you want to do . But if you can find a community that has a like-mindedness to you and again makes you more of who you are , that's like golden man . You know , it's huge to have that because , as much as you can do like introspective work and do things for yourself , for me , having community to reflect all of those things and to show me sides of me that I maybe did not know or knew but I didn't want to go through or go into and help me be the person that I am , is like above and beyond , more than I could ever ask for . Find whoever is listening to this . You can find like a community for yourself , whether that's again dance community , gaming community , I don't know . Whatever it is that you find that has a foundational that again , to make you a person that you want to be , a better person , the most optimal self for you . Yeah , I think people should try to find that man .
J.R.Yeah , nice , I like that it's like the power of solitude , but also the power of community , that's right , that's your headline , that's my mission statement yeah , pretty much all right , let's move on to this next topic , which is understanding p-e-m-s
Understanding PEMS
J.R.and soul made .
J.R.So I thought this was interesting because I think we talked about this kind of in our last thing what is so I wrote this down physical , emotional , mental and spiritual well-being , yeah , so I guess , if you want to get into , how did you come across it ? Or like , what is this concept and how , how has it affected your life ?
Alexyeah , the first when I first came across this was culture shock . I think it was during 2020 , maybe 2021 , when we were not dancing . Yeah , meetings , we had a lot of different rehearsals . Talking about our own , like well-being and .
AlexPEMS . I think we call it PEMS , p-e-m-s . It really got me to think how I evaluate my physical again , my emotional and mental , my spiritual . Physical is very straightforward , yeah , like , how are you feeling physically top down , from like your head all the way down to your toes ? Emotional is I kind of go like mental first . Yeah , from , this is how I define it .
AlexOther people maybe define it differently , but mental , I think it's like how you go about maybe your life or your mentality of the things that you were doing . Right , it's like , oh man , I want to be better at this . I want to have be better at dance , be better at my career . I want to like do all these things . I think it's a great mentality to have . And then I think that reflects back onto your emotional . Or like , how do you feel emotionally about your mentality ? Yeah , you could want to be better at your career , but is that making you like emotionally exhausted , right ? So I think having mental and emotional things are kind of like coincide in some ways .
AlexAnd to me , spiritual it's uh , well , make sure your spirit come alive , like I think I'm not sure if a lot of dancers are watching this , but it's that moment before you go on stage . For me , that's what my spirit is like the most alive . Or even going before , like in my car , before going to the podcast . It's like that excited , nervous feeling that you have . It's like man , I know my spirit is alive . So what are those things that you do in life that makes your spirits blossom ? And I always try to do my best to evaluate p-e-m-s , my p , in terms of how I'm doing overall , my well-being .
J.R.Feels like a check-in for yourself . These are the gauges the metrics or whatever .
AlexYeah , and of course again fluctuate up and down , right as the days , the weeks , the years go by . But yeah , I think , for me it's like maybe every week , every two weeks , yeah , every two weeks or so . I just try to evaluate . Right now I'm on a physical pillar where I'm just pumping iron and working out a lot .
J.R.You know it's funny . I was just thinking about man . Alex is so buff as fuck he's cut . He doesn't have a lot of fan service photos on his Instagram , but for any single ladies , you can just use your imagination on what's underneath his shirt .
AlexThank you . Thank you , JR , for that plug man .
J.R.I appreciate that top of the food chain . He's so cut . You know what I mean . He loves long walks at disneyland by himself , but you could be his number two if you want , oh man single riders only at disneyland . That's really yeah , this is this is just for me , man I just want to get on , get off . Use my time wisely . I don't need no second person to hold me back , bro this line is two hours long single writers 30 minutes . Come on right , dude .
AlexRight , I'll meet you outside when we're no , but yeah , I'm really on the physical . I'm really taking care of , like , my physical dimensional realm right now and I think , why are you ?
J.R.laughing exactly .
AlexGo ahead , super serious uh , but no , in terms of like . The overall like topic that we're talking about is , yeah , that's like what I view as what I hope everyone can reevaluate is their pams man like again what is their physical , what is their emotional , mental , spiritual well-being ?
Alexin terms of daily , or even in terms of your relationships with work , your relationship with your friends , your ambitions , if , and yeah , of course , like some things can be emotionally exhausting , but is it like worth it to pursue this ? The mentality can be great , but again , is it like exhausting enough for you that you're like kind of destroying yourself emotionally , or even physically or spiritually , that it's is it worth it ?
J.R.Is it worth it , yeah , yeah .
AlexSo I always just try to reevaluate all those things in my life and again shout out to culture shock because that was a big thing that I learned and felt that it was like important for me to understand .
J.R.I like that . Last thing on this topic is
Soulmates, Playmates, Mindmates, Helpmates
J.R.soulmates , so I know this can probably go deep , but this is the last question for this section . So what do you mean by soulmates ?
AlexYeah , I don't necessarily believe in soulmates . I think we talked about this at the sign Justin's Place , right .
J.R.So that single girl who's watching this , he doesn't believe in you too . I'm sorry .
AlexI'm just trying to play hard to get right now . That's my , that's my game right now .
AlexSo in my wedding I'm gonna be like you know , I didn't believe yeah , I didn't believe it , but but as for right now , I do not believe in a specific soulmate , that someone can cater to everything that you might be looking for as a partner . We did talk about this , too , where I read this somewhere and I think I talked about this with a friend of mine . I think there's four different kind of mates that you can have . There's a playmate , someone that you can do activities with , have super amounts of fun Maybe that's festivals or going to movies whatever events and stuff .
AlexYeah , then there's a mind mate where you can talk intellectually with yeah , different conversations about anything and everything intellectually soulmates . I think it's someone that you can be like , super intimate with , almost like a romeo and juliet type of like honeymoon phase that you're like feeling that connection with .
AlexAnd the last one , hold on Soulmates , mind mates , help mates , okay , someone that will help you to achieve the goals and kind of in unison with each other . So let's say , achieving your goals of raising a kid or buying a house , or helping you in your career that you want to achieve , or any goals that person that can help you with . And don't get me wrong , if someone , if whoever's listening , if you found that someone , great , right . But I don't know , if I don't know if I can say that there is that one person that checks all those four boxes they could check three , they could check two , but or I don't know if I necessarily believe that even if they do check all those four , like all those four boxes , maybe one of them is like not as prominent or not as like intense as someone else , and not to say that they're not the right person for you , right . But I don't necessarily believe all those four mates can be in one person that someone might be looking for in terms of a match , like made in heaven .
J.R.Yeah that idea when you brought it up has been like living rent free in my head really I thought about that . A lot like that makes a lot of sense , because I've now I've been evaluating my relationships or friendships and kind of like what role they play .
AlexYeah .
J.R.Because some of I mean a lot of people I invite on this podcast are like I feel like they're like mind mates or people who I've had these deep conversations with , and that and that's what it makes a lot of sense . It's like someone that you like to have fun with , or like you go to events , do things together , helpmate . I guess that makes sense too you didn't cover that one last time but someone that like I don't see , maybe it could be like a rival , but not necessarily , but someone just helps you to do things and there's just people in your life who are always there to help and you help them yeah , yeah and then soulmate .
J.R.Obviously it's like the most obvious one , but that makes a lot of sense . So it's and I was thinking about that in relationship sense , which is I was talking to andy before like off off camera , which is like there I feel like in terms of we're talking about marriage because you know he got engaged recently , that's right of like girlfriend , wife and partner , of like the mother of your children , or something like that and how , in my brain and this might not even be the right way to conceptualize it , but I see it as there are , let's say , they're job titles , that there's like a list of duties , responsibilities or characteristics that each of them have , but they're not necessarily all overlapping . Someone who might be a good girlfriend could also be a good like mother , but not a good wife or vice versa .
AlexAnd guys do obviously switch .
J.R.So I was thinking about that . So , yeah , maybe someone doesn't check all those boxes , maybe they do . And the same thing with the whole the mate sort of idea , where they could check all of them . They could not . But it's a weird . It's a really good way to think about it when you think about these relationships what role do they play ? What do they have and what do I have , and what do I have and what role do I play too ?
AlexRight . Yeah , I also am trying to understand that too . I think it might just be a perfectionist version of me . You're like man , I want to be all of this for someone . But I don't think that could ever be the case . Again , there's different types of people that I know , that we talk to or that about . They're like man , I can have a crazy intellectual conversation , but I would never go to a rave with him .
J.R.yeah , yeah , exactly or vice versa , or one right .
AlexYeah , it's like man , I could have so much fun with you , but I can't have , I can't talk with you I can't talk with you friends , I appreciate you .
J.R.Yeah , we're not gonna talk yeah , and that's totally fine .
Alexit's totally fine , yeah , totally fine , and like , I think , a relationship sense it's uh , I don't know if , again , I've been single for a long , long time so I might be jaded in terms of thinking that there is one person for me . But , yeah , I don't necessarily believe that everything can be encapsulated with this person for you and I think that's also okay . You know , if you can find some again , if you can find someone that hits all those those marks at a specific range I'm looking at this like a data can be like that , but right . But it's like , if you can find someone like that , that is , you can see a future with that , you can have fun with that , you can help each other , be the best version of yourselves , then , yeah , like that can be your quote unquote soulmate .
J.R.But I don't again believe that there's like a perfect person there's , it's all that that's just waiting for you . Yeah , yeah , and if there's , a great , yeah , perfect .
AlexIf there is a perfect person , then it might not . Why are they talking to you not to cut you off ?
J.R.I saw this one this last one real too , on instagram , where it was another podcast where he was like best relationship advice list out all the things that you would love to have in a partner , like characteristics , values , principles , etc . And then be that person yeah right , so it's putting it on you , not the . I'm looking for my knight in shining armor or whatever , but it's like why don't you just be that ? Because why would that knight in shining armor want to be with you ?
Alexyeah , dude , exactly , and I always I mean this is kind of going to back in our conversation about solitude , right , it's like you think about the person you want to be and I always think who would be the person I would want to date . Yeah , right , so exactly . I think that kind of relates to yeah , let's not all those things and be that person , because that person will again be attracted to that and you'll find someone . Hopefully you find someone that will be that for you .
J.R.Yeah , exactly , yeah yeah , all right , any last thoughts on that topic ? My soulmate is out there , I'm here you know , I just said I'm not , I don't think so much exists but if you exist , let me know . But I am here and I'm ready . I'll be at Disneyland . Check me out . On the single riders I'll be at Disneyland .
AlexI'll be at AMC . I'm an AMC A-list member .
J.R.You know what's funny is , if I was single , I probably would be with you , because I do all those things myself too . My criteria for finding a girlfriend was like if she's down to movie , hop with me at AMC , that's already like a green flag , right man ?
Alexhop with me at amc , like that's already like a green flag , right man ? Yeah , I haven't found that person yet that's .
J.R.That's a . That's my first date . It's usually a movie date , even though it's weird , but it's because I like watching movies . So if you don't like watching movies , we can't have this , can't happen no , that's a big point for me too .
AlexHaving , I think , playmate is like a huge thing for me . I think that's like a huge again , a staple for me , and what I would like in a relationship is to have like fun and to do all those things together . Yes , all those things are important . But yeah , man , yeah , what are you doing after this ? Yeah , I was about to say to you like yeah .
J.R.so if you are a mind mate , he's not looking for you . He just wants a girl to shut up and just have fun . I'm just kidding . Disclaimer oh my , he just wants a girl to shut up and just have fun . I'm just kidding disclaimer oh my god , it's so out of pocket . I love it . Yeah , same , all right , rapid
Rapid Fire Questions
J.R.fire , you ready ? Yeah , in the spirit of time , I feel like it's just flown and we're already over or like we're not over , but we're like at the edge .
AlexYeah , yeah , so yeah , I appreciate it billboard question .
J.R.If you could put up a sign for millions of people to see , what would it say ?
AlexI have a couple , but maybe I'll just stick with one . Yesterday you said tomorrow . So then , no , I think . I saw like half of a sentence I think I saw , like on a Nike thing , like yesterday , you said tomorrow , so anything that you're like ah man , I'll do tomorrow maybe I'll do it later . No , you said tomorrow , so do it now . Whatever you're thinking about , whatever that's like on your mind that you have an interest in , just do it now , man , like . Time waits for no one . Do it now , I like it .
AlexYesterday you said tomorrow . That's what I think .
J.R.I would put . I feel like I've with some close friends of mine . I'll say like pretty much the same thing and it's that hard accountability that is like , oh , it bothers me , it bothers them so much because I'm like so you want to do these things , why haven't you done it ? I'm your friend , I care about you . I'm going to ask you this question . I like that , though , you're a good friend man , Thank you . Not a lot of people agree , but they don't like that accountability .
AlexYeah , it's probably the stuff that they don't want to hear , but they need to hear . Exactly , yeah , which is like a reflection of themselves , of course .
J.R.Continue All right . So what is one of the hardest challenges you faced in ?
Alexyou learn from it okay , I'm gonna keep this short but I can go for a while . I think I told you about this . I got hurt in a job , yeah , so , uh , for everyone that doesn't know , I used to work in hvac and refrigeration and long story short islands , by haddon beach . I was up checking the rooftop or the ceiling for a leak , slipped and fell off a ladder . Yeah , felt like seven to eight feet or so . Yeah , broke my back , broke part of my back .
AlexDidn't need surgery , but I think from that experience because I was like resting for a while- and it was maddening to me because my whole life all I knew is how to produce physically right like basketball , like first 15 years of my life , like physical production right 15 to maybe 30 dance , like that's how you produce value . So I think when I was hurt , like that was probably my most serious injury , is trying to reevaluate and or rewire my mind into not overthinking . Oh man , I need to be back on the field so I can produce , so , so I can like have value . So I think that was like a huge lesson of mine of not being so hard on myself to not produce in a physical manner . Yeah , I like that , yeah .
AlexEspecially my mindset of what I find value in not the physical sense .
J.R.Yeah , not just that . Yeah , all right , self-inflicted wound . Do you have a story about something that's gone wrong in your life that it is your own fault and you can't blame anyone else ?
Alexprobably the story that I just told you know , like the , when I got hurt I was like man , did someone like push this ladder to one of like the islands workers ? Like push this like ladder , or yeah ?
J.R.put me in his piece . It was you . I saw the . I saw the tape . I wanted to be in broccoli I saw the tape .
AlexNo , yeah , like was the ladder . I was thinking like was the ladder like wobbly , but I didn't want to . Those I think was were like initial thoughts because I don't like just trying to find a reason yeah , of like this , this traumatic experience , but I definitely put it was like put blame on myself , like yo , this was me , whether it was an accident like not said it on purpose , right , but whether it was like just a freak accident that just happened .
AlexThis is my own doing and I need to kind of go through it and figure out what , how I can move forward from it . Like I'm okay now I'm totally good , but I think during that time it was just like really hard to find . I didn't want to blame I . I came to a point where I didn't want to blame anyone but myself , right , yeah , yeah damn 70 feet .
J.R.That's scary dude yeah , dude , yeah man , I'm already scared of heights . I rock climb and I'm like I look down . Wait , I just remembered I'm scared of heights . What am I doing ? It's exposure therapy , right ?
Alexyeah , that's crazy .
J.R.Yeah , yeah , I'm glad you're okay , man thank you . Thank you , if you could redo one thing , what would you have done differently , besides put me in your piece ?
Alexif I could redo one thing this is a great question , because I don't like to think that I regretted , of course , yeah yeah , most guests don't .
J.R.But like I guess you know , thought experiment .
AlexIf I could redo one thing , it's probably maybe like actually look into being an NBA star as a kid , oh yeah .
J.R.Yeah , I think .
AlexI don't know if that was like your question but if I could go back in time and maybe as a fifth , sixth grader , I could like try to pursue this .
J.R.I don't know , that's just Possibly like , kind of like pursue it a little bit more , yeah , a little bit harder , yeah , yeah . If you could give your younger self advice , what would it be now ? Any age , any time period .
AlexIf I could give myself advice is to let me start this off differently , Talking to my younger self . Time money and energy are never free . Never give it away freely or use those things like wisely and think about how to use them , not to say to your advantage , but to make your life a little bit more fulfilling .
J.R.Yeah , that's what I would say what new in the last few years ? What new belief , behavior or habit has improved your life ?
AlexI think it has to do with new belief . I think it's probably the soulmates thing not to say like it super changed it , but I think it just re-evaluated a lot of my relationships with how I see myself in that relationship and also like how that person is into my life . I think that changes how I don't want to say I categorize people in this right . That might be like oversimplifying yeah but I think that does just help not to overthink or deeply think of how this person can provide for me you know it's oh man , they might just be my playmate .
AlexThat's totally fine . If they hit on other things , then that's even better . But yeah , I think that's like a belief that has kind of changed the way that I want to say view people .
J.R.But yeah , evaluate the way you see things , yeah , and also who I am to them , right , like not to take it personally .
AlexOh man , I can't . I really want to have this conversation with this person , but if they might not see me as a mind mate , then that's okay yeah , it's fine .
J.R.Yeah , I like it . I mean same here . It's only been like a few months , but I've been thinking about that a lot too . Yeah
Definition of "Success"
J.R., if you sorry , who do you call successful and how do you define success ? Who do I call ?
Alexsuccessful . And what do I find ?
J.R.how do I define ?
Alexsuccess . I let me answer the second question first . I think I define successful is if you can almost like that quote fall seven times , stand up eight . If you have a resilience , determination and discipline . I think that's what I find successful . And also , if you are doing what your spirit calls for you to do , or pushing your ambition and goals in a healthy and good way , then I would find that successful .
J.R.In terms of how you live your life , it's not even about what you do , it's just like about how you do it right that's what I find successful so if does anyone come to mind that might kind of fit that criteria to not not be weird about it , but I find you successful man , thank you .
AlexYeah , like you doing this podcast is like you having an itch , like I've always known that you've always been so knowledgeable in wanting to do like something like this because you read like a ton of books and process so much information . It's like , dude , let me try to set this up and do this like thing that I've always wanted to do right that and do this like thing that I've always wanted to do right . Yeah , that's what I find successful is pursuing things that your soul , kind of , or your spirit , calls you for right .
AlexUm yeah like having those life experiences that you might not know if it will work out or not , but you give it a shot . That's like success to me nice .
J.R.Yeah , thanks , man , I appreciate that . Yeah , it's crazy because jesse , right before this , said the exact same thing with the seven times , eight times up oh , really , I was like what the ? It's this like deja vu I'm like you guys are pretty much the same thing . That's cool , and the whole pursuing what makes you happy the same thing maybe it's just common denominators with successful people . Yeah if you knew you couldn't fail , what would you try or what would you be doing right now ?
Alexoh , yeah , right now . If I knew I couldn't fail , I will be in the nba , is that ?
J.R.me , man just go for your dreams probably be in the nba .
AlexYeah , and I was like I'm probably like a childhood dream that I've always thought about . Yeah , you know , I mean I'm not of age anymore . Yeah , yeah , but that attitude .
AlexBut yeah , you know , we're playing with lebron james right now , man oh man let's try out tomorrow what is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you've ever made in either time money , energy , etc one more time sorry one of the best investments you've ever made in any of those areas best investments , I think , is I don't know if it's anything like tangible or like things , but in any of those areas , best investments I think is I don't know if it's anything tangible or things but invest your time , again , money and energy and sell your community , your friends , your family . Those things are invaluable in this life . Think it's the people that you surround yourself with that make your life more fulfilling .
AlexYes , we are living in life for yourself and for you , but yeah , if you can like , I don't know um it's like putting I forgot where this concept came from but it's like putting , like you have piggy banks of different things , right . It's like putting a piggy bank into your friendship , when you can reconnect with someone or hang out with them or have spend quality time with them or even investments of . I just started doing this . I should have done this a long time ago , but no tangible thing like uh roth ira , right . I think that's like a huge thing that I think most like if , again , if you do have the funds to do it , you do it .
J.R.Especially if you're young . Yeah , sooner the better .
AlexYeah , so I think that's also huge . Another tangible thing is to do invest as much in terms of your not safety , but in comfort and safety , so anything that protects you from the floor I think you should invest in , like great shoes .
J.R.Okay , great bed . Oh , I see Tires . Yeah Right , you from the floor . I think you should invest in like great shoes . Okay , great bed .
Alexoh , I see tires yeah , right , those things will .
J.R.You'll thank yourself later but I think most importantly invest your time , money and energy to friends family relationships , yeah , for sure cool . What is one ? What is your favorite ? Recent purchase of around 50 to 100 dollars that has impacted your life the most in the last six months .
AlexYeah , I don't know the last six months , because Any time period , no for sure , because I actually don't buy too many things . But it's funny because I protect myself from the floor .
J.R.Oh , is it a .
AlexIt's like an insole .
J.R.Oh insole yeah .
AlexThis is like a move insole . I think a lot of NBA players wear it because you're in the mba I'm training right now .
J.R.Uh , is it for ? Is it for posture preventative of misalignments ?
Alexor what do you use it for ? I ? Just use it for well , there's yeah , there's , I think , different , there's different types of them . This one is like for I think the one I'm wearing might just be for basketball , okay , but or like sports or whatever , but there could be one for um everyday use for me , like ever since I've used these , like my feet feel great after every rehearsal or after long walks alone in disneyland , like I feel long walks are an amc and so the concession stand is the amc list like line .
AlexJust by myself , no , I feel my feet feel great having that investment of taking care of . I mean we walk every day . Yes , you know most of us do um it's a great investment .
AlexThat I think it's I mean these are a little bit pricey for insoles . You can get like dr scholl's for like 15 bucks , but these are like 60 bucks . But it did change the way my feet felt , especially if you're an active person right , yeah , nice ladies , he invests in high quality insoles , so just letting you know I'll get some for your heels .
J.R.Yes , all right
Media Recommendations
J.R.. Any favorite books ? Last question favorite books , movies , videos , articles , media or anything that you share or recommend the most ?
Alexfavorite movie I think right now is interstellar concept of toxic is interstellar is crazy to me . This might not relate to many women out there , but I do tend to look up the art of manliness by Brett , I think Brett and Kate McCabe something like that . I think it's just great inside of how to like your role as a man in this society , or like even xyz .
Alexbut I mean yes women can also read it too , of course . That was great . Yeah , those are two that popped into my mind . Interstellar that's and shoot . There was one other thing that I thought of too , but if you figure it out .
J.R.We can link it in the show later .
AlexBut yeah , I'll link those two , for sure yeah cool , all right , we are that is a rapid fire .
J.R.Thank you for having me dude we have ending questions now , so we'll end with gratitude , like I
Ending Questions: Gratitude & Final Takeaways
J.R.always like to do so shout out to my mom . So , alex , what are you grateful for ?
AlexI'm grateful to be healthy , to have a community village around me where this kind of goes into your question of what is successful or not , like who is successful , what is successful ? I think I'm successful in ways where I have people that are always supportive and friends and family that , like , look after me , look after my well-being , even when I'm happy or like sad , regardless of the case , they're always just looking out .
AlexSo I'm grateful to have to be healthy to able to move like to dance , to work out , to be in this physical vessel that I'm able to do things you know and also have people around me that again are loving , considerate , respectful and , and all those great qualities that's what I'm grateful for . Cool , I love it .
J.R.All right , any final ask from the audience or any final takeaways you'd like them to have from our conversation ?
AlexFinal ask I would like for you all to think about how you use your time to be self-aware , to understand yourself as thoroughly as possible , not be too self-aware . To understand yourself as thoroughly as possible , not be too self-aware but to just be more introspective of who you are , what you are , why you do the things you do , how you do the things you do , and to try to be your best , optimal self , whatever that defines you and how to live your life . And yeah , last thing , keep watching this podcast , keep watching these videos . Jr is a dear , dear friend of mine and I do have high respect of people , especially my friends , that have an interest and go pursue it and want to include their friends and highly like people that he feels that are like that are worthy to be on this podcast , that can share information , that someone you might out there that might find this whole thing great , or even one thing great or you know , in another different podcast . So , yeah , keep watching . Like this great content .
J.R.Thanks , man .
AlexOf course .
J.R.Appreciate it Coming from the better version of me who who is also single , so you know . All right , alex , if people want to check out what you're up to , where can they find you ? Like handles , websites , hinge , profile , like whatever . Where can they find you ?
AlexNo , I'm really on Instagram , but my Instagram is at AlexCrystal__ , so I think that probably might be the only place , because I'm a very private person . I don't want to share too much about my life .
J.R.Unless you're soulmate , then they'll find a way to you .
AlexBut no , that's like the only handle that I have that you can find me at . I appreciate that , thank you .
J.R.Cool . Yeah , all right , alex . Thank you so much for being here . I appreciate it . Like you said , time it feels like it flew by .
AlexYeah , it did , talking for hours , but maybe part two then . Yeah , absolutely Cool , thank you , thank you . Everyone Appreciate it .
J.R.Thank you guys . So I'll sign off now . So thank you guys for being here . I really appreciate it . A reminder to be kind to yourself and others , yourself especially , and remember that you can always learn something from someone if you just .
