#31: Random Show with Aeden Pham - Karaoke Enthusiasts, Project Management Tips, and Unexpected Hot Takes

OTG welcomes back Aeden Pham for a special "random show" episode where they break from the traditional interview format to engage in a free-flowing conversation covering personal finance, mindset shifts, anime preferences, and life optimization strategies. Topics include:

• Money management fundamentals
• Redefining personal value
• Creating positive environments requires shifting from proving our value to sharing experiences
• Anime and why One Piece is amazing
• Daily reflection practices
• Project management tips
• Asking good questions facilitates better communication and understanding in all relationships

Guest bio:
Aeden Pham is a published researcher, has 2 masters degrees, and has studied in 5 different countries. Professionally, he has worked in multiple industries including service, non-profit, entertainment, and technology. Aeden is an award-winning singer, dancer, writer, and film director also enjoys investing their time in various activities, such as stand-up comedy, archery, ice skating, and video/board gaming.

• IG: @aedenanthony / @iamajrp
• Aeden’s Linktree

Links/resources:

• Aeden’s Linktree
• I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi (audiobook - Amazon affiliate link)
• The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel (book summary)
• One Piece (anime - Wikipedia)
• Death Parade (anime - Wikipedia)
• Future Diary (anime - Wikipedia)
• Glenn Clancy (Aeden’s vocal coach - Instagram)
• “She Used to Be Mine” from Waitress by Jeremy Jordan (musical song - YouTube)
• “Wildflower” by Park Hyo-Shin (Korean ballad - YouTube)
• “Anaconda” by Nicki Minaj (song - Wikipedia)
• “Love in the Ice” by TVXQ (Japanese ballad - YouTube)
• J.R.’s Beauty & The Beast solo duet at a karaoke bar (viral video - Instagram)

Transcript

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J.R. 0:01

Hello everyone and welcome back to another exciting episode of 1000 Gurus with me , your host , jr Yonacruz . So today's guest is Aiden Pham , who you might have noticed from a previous episode , but this is a special random show episode and I asked him back to be a guest on this special episode , episode number 31 . So let me read his bio really quick . Aiden Pham is a published researcher . He has two master's degrees , studied in five different countries , has worked in multiple industries , including service , non-profit entertainment and technology . Has 20 plus years of work experience . Aiden is also an award-winning singer , dancer , writer and film director and also enjoys their time with various activities like stand-up comedy , archery , ice skating and video slash board gaming .

J.R. 0:45

So I really enjoyed this episode , as my random shows are always a nice break from our traditional interview format . It's very relaxing to just be able to speak my mind on topics and go back and forth with a friend of mine or a close friend of mine who I have good rapport with , and it's nice to have a conversation without any concrete structure or format . Normally I do enjoy that , but it's nice to change it up every once in a while . Special shout out to Aiden in particular , because he was kind enough to ask me questions that he knew I would enjoy answering , so it felt like a really nice gift that I really appreciated . But as usual , we get into some fun topics like personal finances , changes in mindset , anime , hot takes , productivity tips , etc . It was a lot of fun and , even though I do enjoy my typical guru interview format , I'm definitely looking forward to the next random show with a future guest .

J.R. 1:29

So , without further ado , hope you enjoyed this random show episode with Aiden Phim .

Interview Start

J.R. 1:37

Welcome back to 1000 Gurus . Please welcome back my guest , aiden . Yay , the audience Cool . Well , thank you , aiden , for coming back to the show . I really appreciate it . Also , thank you for this is a special random show , but also it was a fundraiser for my dance team , choreos , and so Aiden was generous enough to donate to that , and one of the bingo fundraiser options was to come back on my podcast . So we appreciate that . Help reduce our retreat funds or retreat costs .

Aeden 2:06

Yeah , we love throwing money .

J.R. 2:09

Yeah , especially , especially adult money . What's nice is that for the adults on the team , like the people who have jobs , it's usually easier to raise money because those people have friends who also have jobs , Whereas the college students on the team usually it's other college students they who they're asking money from .

Aeden 2:25

so it's you know yeah , I don't know if it's gonna be possible for me to be a millionaire in this lifetime , so the closest I can get is throwing 20 at a college student .

J.R. 2:34

Okay , I was like , yeah , I feel so rich right now . Okay , and we love that you like throwing money at college students . Anyways , I also want to say appreciate you bringing these high noons for us to consume . For video you can see that , but if it's audio , you can just imagine . Smart , yeah . So , yeah , we want to pop this open now .

Aeden 2:56

Yeah , yeah .

J.R. 2:57

One , two , three Nice . Oh my gosh , everyone's thirsty at home . Cheers , nice , mmm .

Aeden 3:06

The delicious taste of high noon wow , vodka , seltzer , pineapple .

J.R. 3:11

So , for those of you don't know , random show . It'll just be a break from our traditional format . So instead of having the whole spiel of interviewing him and all this other stuff since we've already done that instead of going into further topics on his expertise , we're going to go into a more of a casual , friendly back back and forth , asking a question , answering it , and then we'll kind of move on , similar to episode 20 with my friend Julie , and so that's kind of like what we're going to be doing today . Yeah , sounds good . Yeah , aiden , would you like to start with your first question and or topic ?

Aeden 3:40

I would love to start topic . I would love to start and when I was thinking about what I should ask , I was like dang , I feel like I've gotten so much from you and our relationship over the past couple years . I want

Q: Personal Finance?

Aeden 3:59

other people to benefit from that as well . So that meant my first question was going to be about finances . What motivated you to start learning about finances ? How did you get started ? I know for me , I first became interested in finances when I realized I had no money and I was like dang , how do I change that zero to something that's not a zero ?

J.R. 4:16

Yeah , move the decimal over a little bit .

Aeden 4:19

Yeah , exactly right . So reaching out to you to talk about finances learning a little bit from my brother and my dad , although they're not as great as explaining it the way you do so I was interested to learn more about what got you motivated , to learn that , to become as strong as you are in that and then to be able to share that with others that .

J.R. 4:42

That's a good question . I think it's . The straightforward answer is I also wanted to be rich or do well with money , and so I think that was always a strong motivation for me to learn about personal finance . And also early on in college or postgraduate , I started to learn from some mentors who were like big in entrepreneurship and stuff like that , and they recommended constant personal development and reading , and so when I was like 22 ish , I just started this reading two books a month , sort of thing and I've been doing that ever since , and so investing my education helped me to find resources on how to be better at personal finance and something that I love about personal finance .

J.R. 5:21

And again if you're a personal finance person , I would love to have you on the show just to interview and have this conversation deeper . But what I love about personal finance and again , if you're a personal finance person , I would love to have you on the show just to interview and have this conversation deeper . But what I love about personal finance is it's something that once you learn a few key principles and practices and habits that you can implement to your own life . It pays so much in dividends and ROI over the next 5 , 10 , 15 , 20 years , and so I love having these coaching sessions with people where they can learn just a few quick things and I know in 10 , 20 years they're going to be a millionaire or whatever .

J.R. 5:50

That the case just alleviates so much of the daily anxiety people have over . You know what if I get laid off at my job ? Or what if something happens ? Do I have enough savings in the bank ? What if this credit card debt comes back to bite me in the ass ? Stuff like that . So I think it's kind of like evangelizing the whole just learn about finances . There's you can do it in a safe way where you're not being scammed by someone , and it's just really easy . Principles that haven't changed over the long term .

J.R. 6:31

And yeah that's pretty much it .

Aeden 6:33

Yeah cool .

J.R. 6:34

Yeah , anything from you . I think I know you mentioned that you just wanted to learn how to be better with money .

Aeden 6:39

Yeah , I definitely wanted to learn how to do better with money . Yeah , I definitely wanted to learn how to do better with money , and I think we started getting reconnected when I was starting to get back into the workforce after leaving academia , and that's when I started having to do my own taxes , because now I'm no longer a dependent . Then I had to look at paying for things like car insurance , health insurance . See , what you need is like a sugar daddy or something . Yeah , you know I would love a sugar daddy . I'm not opposed .

J.R. 7:07

That's my personal finance advice . Get a sugar daddy .

Aeden 7:11

I mean , I'm on the market for a sugar daddy you know , he's like . I'm open to that . You know , if you want feet pics , I got feet , I got two of them . Yeah , I'm not opposed . I sometimes tease my friends and say my ideal sugar daddy , sugar baby relationship is they pay me to leave them alone . I was like I promise I won't bother you all week , just send me like a thousand dollars .

J.R. 7:34

So you're saying your expertise is getting people to pay you to not bother them .

Aeden 7:38

Yeah , hey , anybody out there , if you want me out of your life , just send me a thousand dollars and consider it done .

J.R. 7:44

I'm gone . If anyone falls for that , you know , props to you , man . Cool any other questions on the topic ?

Aeden 7:52

I know , yeah I mean , we can go really deep into this , but I don't know if you had anything else that you feel like would be valuable I think the most valuable thing for me was when you were talking about , like prioritizing different buckets of money before looking at different levels of like how to use your money . I mean , I won't go into too much because , to be honest , I have notes but they're not in my brain , so I'll leave that to you sorry , so you meant different buckets and what levels of priority .

J.R. 8:21

What do you you mean ?

Aeden 8:22

by that ? Yeah , I remember . So first we were talking about saving money by assessing what is your at a minimum monthly spend and then first meeting the goal of having six months in saving , then one year , then three years and then , after I have enough in savings and I can start putting towards a high , high yield fund yeah yeah , then after that there was , like , other levels of investment , but it's always important to look at the first levels first before getting there , because there's no point in throwing money into like the stock market if I can't pay .

J.R. 8:58

right if you're , if you can't pay rent and or if , like , your credit card debt is 16 and you're trying to get eight percent from the stock market , you're like , oh , that math doesn't really make sense .

Aeden 9:06

Yeah , I'm not strong at math , so all of that was just gibberish to me .

J.R. 9:11

But yeah , it's okay , he's doing the right thing , he just can't communicate it .

Aeden 9:15

Yeah , exactly , you know , the communication part is a skill , so I'll leave that to you .

J.R. 9:20

So what he's talking about is kind of what I do when I walk through , when I have coaching sessions on personal finance with people . We kind of assess where they're at , where they want to be , and obviously it's tailored towards them Right , and I don't give them sort of investment advice . It's kind of like you know you can do research and stuff like that . But the personal finance side of it is pretty straightforward . We kind of assess where all the debt is at credit cards , loans etc , what the percentages are , and then a plan to either if it makes sense to tackle that debt first or simultaneously build their savings . If they don't have savings , teach you to be rich . And then psychology of money is more of a overall sort of money mindset thing . But it's pretty straightforward and outlined there and I'll also link it , link to my book summaries on that . But essentially it's so assessing your debt , how fast and how aggressive you want to tackle that , your monthly spending , meaning like the bare minimum that you need to survive , and knowing what your bare minimum per month to survive . Let's say , for me it's a grand right and if I'm trying to have an emergency fund , that's three month emergency fund and my bare minimum to survive is one grand . Then three months is three grand , right , six months , six grand . It's like easy math . And so getting to that three or six month emergency fund is super critical for you , just in case something happens that you need that right . So , assessing whether it makes sense to tackle the debt first or simultaneously build your savings and then from there , once you have a solid savings and your debt is at a good place , then we talk about investing .

J.R. 10:53

I think the problem that a lot of people have is they try to jump straight into oh , let me invest in Robinhood , which you should not do immediately as a taxable account . Just my personal advice you should try to open up a retirement savings or , sorry , retirement account , which is basically an investment account but it's tax advantage . So if it's an IRA or sorry , if it's a Roth or non Roth , you either get an advantage back in front end . This is going to mean gibberish you've never done it before but essentially always start with a retirement account before you do a regular taxable account . But that's like step three , right beyond your debt , beyond your savings , and then it's knowing after that point , knowing what your monthly spending is , and then kind of having that emergency fund and then your debt , and then you start investing your retirement account .

J.R. 11:35

Then , once you max out your IRA or any 401k match , and then you kind of go into what else makes sense to you , right ? But if you finish those first three or four steps , you're better than what ? Like 80% of the people out there who like live paycheck to paycheck or they don't know where their debt is , or they just spend more than they make , whatnot . But it's all very simple , straightforward stuff . And then , even if you get to investing , you know there's dollar cost averaging , there's index funds , there's retirement date accounts , these a lot of stuff that we'll go into . But if we ever have coaching or you can Google this stuff . It's pretty straightforward . Nothing crazy or fancy , but it's very valuable to learn .

Aeden 12:09

Yeah , so this is a great segue to plug If you would like JR to help you with your finances .

J.R. 12:14

I'm always open . I am currently building a website for relationship coaching , but if you're interested in personal finance coaching I've done . About a dozen clients have set coaching sessions no-transcript .

Aeden 12:51

We had a financial coaching session . I started saving up and because I was on 1099 for the first time ever , I didn't realize how much the taxes would hit me . And what JR had set me up for was to be able to pay off $11,000 in taxes that year , and without that coaching I would have been pretty , pretty screwed . And then I was also able to put like a 10k down on my car . So invaluable financial advice . Everybody , everybody , just up Jr .

J.R. 13:24

Nice . Yeah , thanks man . I was gonna say I forgot my thought , nevermind . Yeah , thanks for the plug . Anything else on that topic ? Again , if you are a personal finance person , hit me up . I would love to interview on the show . We can talk deeper on finances . But thanks for bringing it up , I think that's something people should learn about .

J.R. 13:42

All right , you ready for my question ? Ooh , bring

Q: Recent Mindset Changes?

J.R. 13:46

it . Okay , what is one belief or mindset that has changed for you over the years ? I guess I'll give mine first .

J.R. 13:54

So I think my perception of overgiving or receiving gifts has changed over the years , because I think I don't want things that like how do I say this ? I usually don't want like gifts because I'm not really a gifts person . You know , like love languages . Yeah , I'm not really a gift giving sort of person , but I have learned that if you want to express your love for someone else and it's their love language you kind of had to put an effort to be thoughtful and give kind of those sort of thoughtful gifts or you know that sort of thing to someone else . But also , even if I don't like receiving gifts , I still appreciate the thought that goes into it , because that's the whole point . It's not the thing they gave me , like the shirt or whatever . It's the intention that they're giving me and that's what I should appreciate , not the actual thing , like , for example .

J.R. 14:47

And for gifts I really well , if you're a friend of mine , you give me gifts . I appreciate all the gifts you give me , but I really don't like things that just take up space in my life , like real estate like you , just sits in my room , gathers dust . I like functional things or things that take up minimal space . So two good examples would be stickers that I can just put on , like my laptop or whatever , or like apparel , like one piece shirts or hats or shoes , something like that because it's okay , I can wear this and it's taking up space , but it's functional . Whereas if you give me like a , you know like a , let's say , like a pop thing , you know like a toy or a chia pet or something where it's just oh , here's a thing , I'm like I really appreciate it , thank you , but I'm like now what I'm going to do with this because it's just taking up space in my room . But I think , yeah , that's one thing that's changed is my perspective of gifts . So what about you ?

Aeden 15:39

that's a tough question . I think for me it's something that I'm still working on , but a reassessment of how I define my own personal value . I think growing up it was ingrained in me , especially because we're Asian , that the value you have is like your subservience to the space or like to the authority figure . So I was a good person if I was a good student in class , or I was a good person if I was a good son at home . I was a good person if I was a good worker at work .

Aeden 16:15

And as I have gotten older and come more into my thirties and have um moved around these spaces a little bit more differently , I find that that kind of mindset is actually quite harmful , both for myself and for the space . So internally or on a personal level , when I approach things with that sense , sure there's some positive aspects to it , right ? So I'm constantly trying to contribute , I'm constantly trying to optimize or create more efficiency for both myself and the spaces I'm in , and so there is value that is generated there . But it comes from a sense of not being good enough , and I think people can read that on an emotional level , even if they don't recognize it on an intellectual level and that kind of breeds a space where people feel like , oh , am I not good enough now ? If you're not good enough , then what am I ? And so it sets people up to start unraveling , and the space becomes difficult for people to like navigate through or like to exist in , because now it feels like everyone has to do something in order to generate value for themselves , in order to deserve to be there . Something that I have been challenged by both my therapist and my vocal coach to do is to look at contribution more as a gift than as a necessity , right ?

Aeden 17:41

So we enter a space , we are of value already , inherently , as people like . We already have value in and of ourself , and when we come into a space , the purpose isn't to prove that we have value in and of ourself . And when we come into a space , the purpose isn't to prove that we have value or prove that we deserve there , deserve to be there , but to share our experience with each other and open up that space for everyone to contribute . I think that comes from internally , a sense that is more stable , that's more relaxed , that that's more inviting . So , instead of creating anxiety around , am I good enough ? Well , if I'm not good enough , then are you good enough . If you're not good enough , then am I good enough ? It creates more of oh my gosh , wow , you're like you're bringing so much into the room . I want to bring stuff into the room , like you're sharing so much knowledge , want to share knowledge , and now everyone in the space benefits from that sort of collective calm or collective open-mindedness I love that .

J.R. 18:36

It's like an abundance mindset sort of too right , oh my gosh , yeah , that's exactly it yeah , and another thing , too sorry to go back .

J.R. 18:44

What I was gonna say . The last thing on finance and we're just gonna go back to right now is uh , it's good that you brought that up , because this episode probably go live like right around the tax deadline whatever right after it's like end of april , something like that . But it's going back to what you were saying . It kind of reminds me of this tony robbins quote where he says that with this sort of wealth mindset and scarcity versus abundance , what you should do is start with the mindset of being wealthy because you have so much already in you , within you , a lot to be grateful for , so to speak . So you start well , because wealth is a mindset , but having financial success is a different thing . That's a tangible thing . So start wealthy , but then generate income , or generate wealth and build assets after that does that make sense ?

J.R. 19:31

yeah , because wealth is more of a mindset and it reminds me of what you're just saying is like you start with that mindset you're accepted as you are and you already have value , and then from there , it's just you do the actual thing like that , yeah , and I find that this has also been very helpful in my artistic endeavors .

Aeden 19:48

When I dance or when I sing , I find that my habit is to kind of approach it from this mindset of oh , I don't know if I'm good enough to do this , so let me just try .

Aeden 19:57

I'm so sorry , I'm sorry , I'm doing , I'm here , I'm doing this . I mean , there are better dancers , better singers who could be doing this , and I think that reads . I think people who watch me perform after that can tell that I'm performing with that mindset and they're like , oh , I don't know if I should feel bad for this performer , or I don't know , the vibe is off . And so I've been working with my vocal coach more specifically to try to shift that mindset , to say , well , no , when we perform , it's communication , it's communication . Right , we're trying to communicate with our audience or with other performers , to try to tell a story , to have a conversation , and you can't really have a conversation if the entire time you're like , oh , I'm sorry , oh , I'm sorry if you're trying to justify your own existence exactly and so I've been trying to enter spaces where I've been invited with a mindset of I have stuff I can share and I also have stuff I can learn .

Aeden 20:56

so I'm gonna come and share what I can and learn what I can , and I would hope that I can invite others to do the same . And I have found that that instills a kind of confidence in me that I was lacking with the other mindset . I tend to pick up choreography quicker , I tend to do better harmonies , and that's because I'm no longer carrying around the anxiety of questioning my value .

Aeden 21:24

questioning my worth , because , if you already have it you don't have to worry about it , and now other people can sense that and recognize that they also have value that we can see .

J.R. 21:36

Yeah , it's kind of like putting that energy in the space that you want to also create . Cool , did you have a next topic ?

Aeden 21:44

I did . Okay , so I know you've brought this up

Q: Favorite Anime & Why?

Aeden 21:48

a couple times , but favorite anime and why ?

J.R. 21:53

I think my entire audience knows my favorite anime is one piece okay I literally wear the shirts every single chance I get . Even your producer knows yes , of course my producer is very astute , so of course he knows but , yeah , so one piece . You said why yeah , so personally I've never have .

J.R. 22:11

Do we have an hour ? I guess ? In the nutshell , tldr . There's a lot of .

J.R. 22:16

There's a few different themes that I love about one piece . It's a for those who , for those of you , don't know why you listen to this , go watch one piece . I'm just kidding , but it's a pirate anime . So it's about like this crew called the Straw Hat Crew and their captain Luffy . He's like a rubber man , he has like special powers and he stretches and stuff like that , and basically they're on a mission to become king of the pirates or he's trying to be king of the pirates and everyone else on the crew has their own dreams and goals , but they all come together to make his dream come true and have fun adventures together . And , of course , along the way they come across bad guys , people who you know enslave other people or put them down or just oppress them , and they liberate them and they're just going on this adventure to have fun .

J.R. 22:58

So what I like about it , aside from the strong theme of chasing your dreams and supporting your friends dreams and the people around you , helping others , is also this idea , and I think I mentioned in my last episode that a lot of my life philosophies come from one piece specifically about like friends , family , found family and how you interact in the group dynamic , and I think it's the biggest thing that I take away from that and which I bring into my own team , choreos , and what I teach them in terms of culture is that we're all built different .

J.R. 23:31

We all like different things . I have different strengths , weaknesses , goals , dreams , etc . And the best team is not a homogenous team . The best team is one that leans into our differences and relies on each other , because luffy , being the captain , is pretty much dumb and stupid and not competent in anything . The only thing he's very strong as a fighter because in anime , punch manga they fight , yeah , but what he is good at is caring about other people and doing whatever it takes to keep his word , like he never goes back on his word .

J.R. 24:01

And so because of that isn't that integrity ? His crew trusts him and because they trust him , they will also put their life on the line for him and his dreams . And so he's not . They have a navigator who's the best navigator , a swordsman who's the best swordsman , a chef who's the best chef . But they all need each other to make this adventure happen and they won't stop anything but to make sure that each other protecting and helping each other .

J.R. 24:23

And so I see that , as you can't unlike these other anime and manga , you't go at life alone . You can't just be the main protagonist and just force your way through life . You have to learn how to rely on others , help others , help yourselves , stick true to your principles and stay true to yourself , and I think that's what creates the best adventure , and it's not about getting to the destination . So , finding the last island , the one piece , the laugh tale is the goal , but the actual goal finding the last island , the one piece , the laugh tale is the goal , but the actual goal is the journey along the way , because luffy is like yeah , I'm , we may or may not ever make it to one piece . But that's not the point .

J.R. 24:58

The point is to have fun with my friends and so I take that away as well as enjoy the journey , enjoy your friends , lean into that , accept people as they are , and that's how you build a great team what was that saying ?

Aeden 25:10

it's like the journey is the friends we made along . Yeah , that too the journey .

J.R. 25:14

There are like the , the real treasure or whatever is , the friends you met along the way , or something yeah , so that's kind of it I mean it's also a pirate anime , so they're trying to find the one piece which is a treasure . So but yeah if that does not evangelize you to watch one piece , I don't know it will .

Aeden 25:27

I feel like we're such different people when it comes to anime , because I know One Piece is like 1,000 plus episodes , now Like 1,100 minimum . Yeah , good luck to anybody who's starting new .

J.R. 25:39

There is a new reboot sort of version that they're doing . It's like a streamline with a new studio .

J.R. 25:44

I see and so they're trying to compress like , let let's say , the 1200 episodes into like maybe two to 300 , and it's updated because this anime came out in 1998 , sometime around then and so it's to bring in the new audience to this sort of concise , streamlined version . So be on the lookout for that , if you're . And also there's the live action as well . That's bringing more people in . There are different mediums . The spirit of one piece is still the same across those mediums , but whatever you get into , it's like on you . I think once you become a diehard fan , you will want to read the original source material yeah but honestly , whatever brings you in , highly recommend it dang , I might look for that .

J.R. 26:19

That shortened yeah it's on the it's on the , it's on the horizon , like maybe this year , next year it'll start oh , what a funny pirate pun you got there .

Aeden 26:29

I was gonna say my . Mine is the . I feel like an opposite cut . So my favorite anime is like very it's very hard for me to find anybody who's seen it . It's called death parade and it's one season . I think it's only like 16 episodes . It's super tight . I really like the animation .

Aeden 26:49

It is a bit on the dark , pressing , yeah . So the premise of it is basically the main character is a bartender at a bar that sits between life and death and so when people die they forget like the past couple hours of their life , so they don't think they're dead . They show up in the bar and he makes them play games and , based on how they engage with each other through the game , he judges whether they can be reborn into another life or sent to eternal damnation . But the twist is there's another girl who shows up , but she doesn't come into the bar through the typical means , so they have no idea who she is and how she's there . So she sticks around as kind of like the viewer insert character and she'll ask questions and she'll poke and prod at his philosophy .

Aeden 27:38

I mean like why did you do that ? Or like why do you assume that , and so it really challenges like a philosophical approach of how do we judge people ? Judge people like why do people behave the way that they behave ? And the last episode took me out like emotionally , I was wrecked . I was like dang . I spent all season with these two people just watching them judge people left and right and in the end I was like you know , so everyone dies in the end . Oh man , it's so dark , it's so rough . But I love anime for that , especially like psychological or philosophical anime . I think it provides a great avenue for us to have really deep and profound conversations about how we view things and our perspectives when approaching people of different background or different thought processes .

J.R. 28:25

I like it quick take before we switch . But I was I've just started , or whatever started watching this anime called the 12 future diaries . Oh , have you watched her ? I don't know where I got this wreck from , but like it's very dark and violent and all this but and there's some plot holes . But I really like how like fresh it feels , because it's like a psychological thriller . This basically , these 12 people have these diaries where they have different sort of seeing into the future , ask abilities , and number one is the protagonist . But the second diary holder is like this psycho creepy , his creepy girlfriend who's like a stalker but she's also superhuman because and she's a sociopath , like she can kill people easily . So she's obsessed with him . But then there's 10 other people who have different motives and stuff . But it's very creepy psychological . You're not really sure what everyone's motives is , but it kind of gets revealed .

J.R. 29:20

So it's kind of like a murder mystery as well yeah , but heavy on the action , the thriller , the violence , the romance and all this other stuff .

Aeden 29:27

I I also watched that one . I thought it was interesting because I was watching this breakdown of it , and so number one and number two are a couple , but one of the other future diaries is a couple diary , and so their diaries tell of each other's future . And the reviewer who was talking about this anime was like , oh yeah , like the main character , he starts out as a pretty pathetic person , like a awful guy . He's like willing to let his psycho girlfriend like die for him , and everyone along the way that they meet and like that they engage with are always trying to yell at him to say dude , you need to be a man , you need to grow up , you need to figure out what you're doing and take care of your woman and all this stuff . And I was like , wow , I never really looked at it in that way because they're all just trying to kill each other . Yeah , they're all trying to kill each other .

J.R. 30:17

But then they also kind of help each other at some point because they're trying to kill other people and then , like you said , they're also trying to help coach the number one dude . Like hey , you should be better , like number one dude , like hey , you should be better . And so usually I hate those protagonists where they're like wimpy and they don't have , they don't stand for anything and they're kind of cowards yeah but you know he develops over time , but I'm still watching it . But yeah , it's , it was interesting remind me of that yeah all right .

J.R. 30:41

My question

Q: Hypocrisies & Hot Takes?

J.R. 30:42

is I think it's either or so what are some hypocrisies that you notice , either in society or the people around you in your communities ?

Aeden 30:51

or any hot takes oh , you trying to get me canceled , ideally yeah , let me go first and okay , like call me yours , because I already have an answer , so mine is .

J.R. 31:02

So you know that's we talk about this instead of calling the time . So you know that the stereotype of how Asians or Filipinos eat dogs and we obviously don't , but it's one of those things right , and what bothers me is that the people who are so adamantly against the idea of eating a dog or something like that , like a commonly known house pet , is that they are also avid meat , like avid meat eaters , meaning they'll eat slaughtered cow , chicken , pig all day and they won't bat an eye , but it's , oh no , a puppy . And but they're bred to be , you know , like a companion , and they're intelligent , excuse me , a lot of these animals that you eat are also intelligent yeah and they might not be bred or genetically modified or put in cages with eternal darkness and they're just fed and then kept there and then slaughtered inhumanely .

J.R. 31:48

But apparently you're fine with that , but you're not fine with eating a dog . And I'm not advocating to kill puppies or cats or all that stuff , right .

J.R. 31:56

I'm just saying that that hypocrisy throws me off , because we'll go to cream barbecue right afterwards , but then , as soon as someone says oh yeah you know , people eat dogs and some other places where they're like very starving and they need food and stuff like that and they're like , oh no , that's so terrible . I'm like you're not a vegan , so what ? What is this hypocrisy ? So hopefully that makes sense . It kind of just bothers me that like have this double standard . I'm like dead animal is a dead animal . If you're gonna , if you're gonna enjoy the meat , then don't be a hypocrite and be like , oh no , we just eat the puppies yeah and also you're contributing to pollution which kills all the animals in the ocean .

J.R. 32:28

So again , it's very complicated , but that's something that takes me out man , I feel like we can talk about this for forever .

Aeden 32:37

I have so many hypocrisies that just jump out at me and I'm like trying to choose one . It's like which one ?

J.R. 32:44

where do I ?

Aeden 32:45

Yeah , I think the first one that really comes to mind probably because of , like , the political climate and what my Instagram algorithm is sharing with me . But the hypocrisy I find that irks me is when people talk about like pro-life things and then vote against policies that help to ensure that , when life does occur , that it's a life worth living , that help to ensure that , when life does occur , that it's a life worth living . Yeah , so I'm like personally , I am like all for life , right , if I could get pregnant and then I could keep the child , then I would , because life is precious to me . But I also recognize that I am not the one carrying a child in me , so I don't get to make that decision for someone else . But what I can do is make sure that if someone chooses to keep a fetus , keep a pregnancy , that when that child comes there is a life worth living . There are institutional supports to make sure that that child is supported , cared for .

Aeden 33:42

So that's things like education , food and water , housing , right , and these are all things that people who typically not all but typically call themselves pro-lifers , vote against because their mindset is well , if you want it , you better go work for it . And I was like , okay , how are you going to have a newly born baby go work for ? Like food , you know , and if the mother needs food to get the food to the baby , should the mother not have food Like ?

J.R. 34:09

hello . My friend put it succinctly this way it's the hypocrisy of people who are pro-life , but they're actually pro-birth , not pro-life , because if you were pro-life , you would be supporting these initiatives , policies , things that government can do that can support life in a healthy way and fairly and with equal access . But you're actually pro-birth , you just want the birth to happen , but you don't give a crap about the baby afterwards , especially like considering their skin color or their demographic or their parents' economic status . Clearly that's in play . Yeah , so yeah , that hypocrisy is so glaring .

Aeden 34:43

And I think it's especially interesting because , as the world becomes more globalized and more interconnected , we are able to access and view what is happening around the world on a more consistent basis , and especially since our government has a hand in international affairs . As someone who studied international relations , international politics , for me it's kind of like what we do at home is also what happens abroad . So the policies that we vote here have real impact not only on the people here , but the people everywhere , and it's frustrating to me when we say , oh , we're pro-life , but yeah , let's just pass like a couple billion dollars to send bombs to another country Right , let's bomb another country .

J.R. 35:22

Exactly so . You're pro-life , but not pro that life .

Aeden 35:26

Yeah , that's really what's frustrating for me , because I was like if you're going to call yourself pro-life , recognize that words mean things , words have power and own it . I'm okay . If you want to be like I'm a pro-birther , that's all I really care about . Just recognize it and own it Right , but don't claim something that you're not and then try to use that as a weapon with which to disarm others . That's not productive right .

J.R. 35:51

It's like a double standard , and so I agree . I think like people can have their own values and morals and principles and what guides them to make decisions and stuff like that . What bothers me is the double standards and trying to use those wordings to empower yourself and what your agenda is , but disempower other people with the same words and the same meanings , but kind of just flipping it around Again . That's what kind of bothers me about the politics nowadays . That sort of thing .

Aeden 36:17

Yeah , and it's always that kind of extends a little bit into the hypocrisy of like well , you shouldn't persecute me for my beliefs , but let me persecute you for yours real quick . And that's where I get frustrated with some like of the religious arguments that go behind pro-life or like pro-birth . It's oh , like my religion says I have to protect life , so I'm gonna force you to carry this pregnancy . And I was like didn't we talk about like separation of church and state ? Can I just do my own stuff ? Like I'll take care of mine and you take care of yours ? And then that's when they're like , oh , but you're persecuting my religion now . And I was like what are you talking about ? That doesn't make sense to me . You are the predominant majority religion of this country . Like no one is . We're saying you can do whatever you want , do what you want . I like that grinds my gears .

J.R. 37:08

Yeah , I'll add in one more thing , if we're not already canceled by this people are like oh no , it's a political pot , it's a religious I'm so sorry .

J.R. 37:15

No , it's not , but okay , I'll speak on this as a christian too , because I'm a christian and some of the hypocrisy I see in the christian community , at least in my space , is like the whole pro-life is one thing , but also the whole fact of a lot of there's a a lot of groups that are Christian groups and religious groups that are like anti-immigrants and helping the poor and the homeless and the sick , and all this other stuff but it's like , guys , what did Jesus do ?

J.R. 37:37

Literally wash the feet of sick people and , you know , protected the immigrants and welcomed them in all these other things , but then you do the opposite things and yet you claim that you're a Christian . Again , it's the hypocrisy that bothers me . It's not standing on your morals and principles . It's double standard for you saying I have stand , I have my values here , but when it's in this case , in the exact same instance , I'm going to flip it around and say no , actually not . That's just what bothers me , yeah yep , yep , I .

Aeden 38:03

There's a lot I could say about that . Let's save it for later . I think that was enough spice in the rack .

J.R. 38:08

I think it's your turn .

Aeden 38:09

Okay , my turn Alright . So I know

Q: How Did We Get Into Singing?

Aeden 38:14

you do like karaoke sessions with a group of your friends .

J.R. 38:19

Yeah , I mean we , we've been Filipino . Yeah , exactly , my friends are Filipino . Yeah , are you going to cancel me now ? No , we , actually , we do , we generally . Because we're Filipino , we sing karaoke .

Aeden 38:28

Yeah , yeah Tight . So I wanted to ask what you are like . How did you get about singing ? Get stereotype like on a personal level aside ?

J.R. 38:37

from your genetics . How did you get it ?

Aeden 38:39

yeah , you know the first note you sang when you came out the womb versus yeah , it was jolly bee oh , my god , yeah , the .

Aeden 38:47

I just wanted to know how you got into it , how you got to the point where you decided to invest more in it by having like consistent karaoke sessions . What's your engagement with music ? So , for example , for me , I started singing in high school because my sister was in a choir and I joined , and for me , like I said before , my concern had always been like oh , I want to contribute , like I really love singing .

Aeden 39:11

I think it's like a great form of expression , it's like really cool to do but I feel like I'm constantly like not good enough , not good enough , not good enough , which is why I sought out a vocal coach who I've now been with for years and part of his training what's his ethnicity ? So he's Filipino . I knew the answer to that . If anybody's interested , I know I've talked about my vocal coach a lot , so shameless plug for him . His name is Glenn Clancy G-L-E-N-N . Last name Clancy C-L-A-N-C-Y . Wait , how , how old is he ? He's in his 40s now . Okay , kuya .

J.R. 39:41

Glenn . Oh my god , shout out to .

Aeden 39:44

Kuya .

J.R. 39:45

Glenn , thanks for teaching Aiden your singing my god . Well we weren't canceled . Now , hey , I'm Filipino , I feel like I can make that joke . Okay , go ahead .

Aeden 40:02

Yeah , but a lot of his emphasis is on reorienting our mindset around music and how we engage with music , because if you have a positive relationship with music , you will naturally search out more things to do with it , and so , knowing that that has been my journey , I was curious to know what your journey is , as someone who did not like have training through a vocal coach did not go to this guy that I go to , so how did you get from birth to consistent therapy sessions ?

J.R. 40:28

Yeah , I will say it's a little bit different for me because I know you're consistent and intentional about growing your vocal skill . For me it's always just been a fun thing . I did not sing out of the womb , I didn't have any vocal training . My friends and I would kind of just do it for fun , as a social thing , like every four to six weeks . After about like four weeks we start to feel this itch like we gotta go karaoke soon . Right , because it's just fun and maybe it's an inherent like Filipino culture thing . But yeah , for me I think a lot of my family always saying you know the stereotypical filipino karaoke , magic mic at like parties and stuff like that and so I was always surrounded by that environment .

J.R. 41:06

So it's just a normal thing and not . It's not that everyone knows how to sing , but apparently eventually they get better . So I remember when I was like in middle school , early high school , my sister and I would sing like these tagalog songs . And we don't speak tagalog , so I would just sing phonetically as I hear it and I would copy my dad Like he would sing like and I would sing .

J.R. 41:25

I would sing just like the Tito sort of version , but I'm like I don't know what I'm saying , I don't know if I'm saying it right , but I'm just doing it just for fun . And then I think eventually after call I never really sang formally , just for fun . And then after college I started to like , okay , let me just try practicing and trying to sound good so that I can enjoy , or I can enjoy the act of singing .

J.R. 41:52

And I think at some point there was like a switch or like a threshold where I'm like , oh , I think I'm decent now , so that when I do sing , it feels a lot better than that sort of skill gap where , like you , let's say , in dancing , you're like , okay , I don't think I look good and it's not enjoyable . Once you start to get to a certain level and you like where you're at , it starts to get more fun . So eventually I just like , just got there where I'm like , oh , I think I'm decent now . So now I really have a lot of fun and I think the fun aspect kind of like what you're saying , enjoying the thing that you do , put gas on the fire and now we go consistently and I don't think about , oh , do I sound terrible ? Because I know I'm not trained and I know I don't always sound good , but I know that I sound good enough that and that I enjoyed enough that I will keep going and I think that inherently keeps improving my skill , because I am inherently practicing , but not consistently as you .

J.R. 42:39

Yeah , and to be fair , guys , I don't really sing that well . Aiden actually sings really well . Like he went to karaoke one time we were like damn , this guy's a real singer so it's a disclaimer .

Aeden 42:47

Thank you . No , I mean , I think you sound dope . Thank you , I honestly think my coach would like you better , because I'm always so uptight about it and he's like dude , you need to fucking relax , yeah go to karaoke , yeah he's like you need to find the fun in it , like music is supposed to be fun . We do this because we enjoy it and I was like , oh right , my bad .

J.R. 43:06

Okay , what are your go-to karaoke songs ? Oh , dang for people who don't have the privilege of going with us . What can they expect you ? What are your top three that you expect to sing ?

Aeden 43:15

oh , top three . Okay , so anytime I think top three . I try to vary it up a little bit . I'm going to do the same . Yeah , to test out my waters . So I like musicals , so the first one I would do is she Used to Be Mine from the musical Waitress , but the Jeremy Jordan version . It's in a key that I can manage .

J.R. 43:36

We love managing keys .

Aeden 43:37

I know and we love Jeremy Jordan . Oh my God , god , he's phenomenal . I saw him in the great gas fee musical a couple months back and I am obsessed . He is so good . So that's one . Another one that I like to do is wildflower by park hyo shin . So I like korean ballads very nice .

Aeden 43:58

So I really enjoy coming back to this song on occasion because it's like a checkpoint for me to see , like , how much I've changed , technique wise or mindset wise . So sometimes I'll be singing and as we get to the bridge I'm like okay , what technique do I want to employ ? Am I ready to employ it ? Versus ? Sometimes I'm like , oh , am I scared of like the bridge coming up because it's high ? Is that going to cause me to tense up ? Is that tension going to prevent me from singing it ? And so that one's always fun for me to showcase but also surprise myself , be like , oh , shoot , I can do it today . That's nice . And let's see my third song . Depending on who's there , I will change it . And let's see my third song . Depending on who's there , I will change it . So I have a couple Japanese songs , some Tagalog songs , some Thai , some Viet songs that I have like in my docket , and so I adjust it depending on who's in the crowd . Same same .

Aeden 44:56

Yeah , just so I can be like surprise , I gotcha . But if not , then I usually just try to do something a little fun just to mix up the vibe , and in that case my go-to would be Anaconda by Nicki Minaj . Perfect , I was like hey , I need to remind people that . Like yeah , we're here to put on a show . It doesn't need to be like superb singing all the time , it can just be throwing ass sometimes .

J.R. 45:17

Nice , yeah , pro tip for guys going karaoke . Have nice , yeah , pro tip for guys going karaoke . Have a karaoke list or like a song list . So be prepared . I break mine up into categories like disney songs , rap , ballet , korean ballads , japanese ballads , like pop songs , top 40 sort of thing . It helps with the flow because you know half the time you go in there and the first five minutes people are just looking . But I'm like noob , just go in with your . You should have a list , especially with my friends . I'm like you guys don't have a karaoke list . It's easy , just you put in your usuals and then kind of get the bar rolling . But so , yeah , my top three would always be any combination , not in this order , but an eminem song or a rap song , because I'm like the biggest eminem fan . So it might be like Rob God or Forgot About Dre with Dr Dre , and then I'll do a Disney song typically it'll be Frozen , so something with Elsa that I'll sing , probably the reprise of what is it called ?

J.R. 46:12

not , you Don't Want to Build a Snowman , it's the from the first movie where , after when Anna's trying to go back and be like , hey , you should come back . And she's like you can just unfreeze everything . And she's like , no , I can't , I don't know how .

Aeden 46:25

Oh .

J.R. 46:25

First time in forever Reprise version . I love that one . Or like Disney , like something there , beauty and the Beast . And then my third one will be aed Japanese ballad from TVXQ or DBSK , and it'll be either Love in the Ice or Bolero . Don't know what I'm saying , but I listen to TVXQ like at least once a week , and they're just like my old group because their ballads just dominate .

Aeden 46:50

I've definitely heard you sing all of those A plus .

J.R. 46:53

And I will solo a four , what's a , you know , like a duet , but what's a five person Like what is that called quintet ? Okay , so I quintet solo . So I'll do all the parts , like how they do it , and like even in beating the beast , right , I will sing both bell and beast , yeah , and so I'll switch back and we're like something sweet like so I'll go back and forth . But even for tvxq I will switch between , like the vocals of all five of them , yeah , because I'm just so psyched like that .

Aeden 47:21

But yeah , if anybody wants to see jr's beauty and the beast rendition , it's actually on instagram .

J.R. 47:26

We have a viral video for jr and blessy that had like a million or something views . Like , yeah , a couple hundred thousand likes of me singing at a karaoke bar , like at a restaurant , and yeah , I switched back and forth between the guy and the girl it .

Aeden 47:40

I thought it was so funny because I see the waitress come up with another mic and bless he goes , it's okay , he got it and I died . I was like that's so funny .

J.R. 47:49

No , it's funny afterwards too , because you know , all right , that's karaoke crew , like just a bunch of us . And so that was one of the first times we went to a karaoke bar and I got featured on that restaurant's Instagram and you know we do it for fun . But then I was telling Blessy , jokingly , I was like , oh , did you get featured on the Instagram ?

J.R. 48:06

oh , no , just me oh so you're saying I'm first place in karaoke . You're saying I'm the best I'm joking , but I am first place . So I mean tight , we love it , we love it , congratulations . So new topic . What is

Q: How Have You Optimized Your Life?

J.R. 48:19

so ? We're both optimizers , if you listen to Aiden's first episode . So what is one way you've optimized your life recently , or one thing you do that gives you more peace ? I know those are kind of different but similar right .

Aeden 48:31

Yeah .

J.R. 48:32

I'll start with mine and I'll go quick . It's cutting people out and maximizing peace when values don't align , and so it's not so much to say I'm not like hack and slash , but I'm very intentional with like okay , over time . You're very observant , self-aware , and you're observant around if you listen to Jesse's episode , which just went live well before this recording . But it's , you know , surrounding yourself with people mindfully and not just mindlessly and protecting your peace there .

J.R. 48:59

But I think I've gotten better at understanding the type of people that are around me and being more intentional with spending time with people who align more with my values and less around people who don't align with my values . But more than that is if there comes to a point where I know I should probably cut them out because they're not good for my , you know , mental health or they're just toxic people or I don't like their lack of integrity or they're not a person of their word . I'm a . I'm really big on integrity , meaning if you say you're going to do something , you do it .

J.R. 49:27

And there are just a lot of people in my life who maybe they're fun to be around and you know they're exciting and all this other stuff and good vibes , but they will leave you on read , they won't reply , they'll say one thing and they'll do another thing , and they treat you one way and then do another thing another way . So those people are in a new category of mind where I'm like I'm going to invest so little energy into this because it's robbing me of my peace and also I'd rather be surrounded by people like yourself who do something . They say something and then they do something . So if I call you a person of integrity , that's like the highest compliment I can give , and if you aren't that person of integrity , I will spend less and less time with you . But you know , I still treat people with respect and if they want to reach out and have the capacity , I'm glad to spend time , but otherwise , that's what I've been doing .

Aeden 50:12

Wow . Props to that . I definitely feel that . I think that's the challenge for myself as well . I think it's funny that you asked this question , because I feel like I gave you the answer literally like a couple of days ago , when we actually I gave it to you before we even started recording today .

Aeden 50:29

But as I am deciding to let go of some of my side hustles so that I can focus more on myself , I have started doing daily retros for myself , and so I have a tracker in which , every day , I record some of my metrics that I would like to track . So how much water did I drink ? What did I eat that day ? I don't necessarily calorie count , I just look at what did I eat , I track my weight and my exercise and then I list out my three L's , which is a very project manager type thing . It's my liked , learned and lacked for the day . So what did I like about today , what did I enjoy , what did I learn from the things that happened , or what did I take out of it , and what did I feel was missing in my day , or what did I fail to achieve in that day ? And this daily practice , I think , has really forced me to , in some instances , sit in silence because I'll sit there and I was like what was the day ?

Aeden 51:32

What did I do ?

Aeden 51:34

What did I ? Where did I go ? Who did I talk to ? And I found myself yesterday actually sitting there trying to fill out this retro and I was like , oh , I have a ton of stuff . I liked Great session at the studio , I had fun dancing . I got to talk to folks that I hadn't spoken to in a while .

Aeden 51:50

I was like I don't feel like I learned anything and I don't feel like I lacked anything , and my desire was to like close the chapter and be like okay , I'm done . But I forced myself to sit there and I was like , no , no , no , I had to have learned something and I had to have lacked something , because no day is ever perfect . And that really pushed me to start looking at things , like , okay , so I drank enough water and I ate enough , but did I eat too much ? I was like , no , I really only had two meals , but those meals were huge , and so I was like , okay , so what ? I really only had two meals , but those meals were huge , and so I was like , okay , so what I'm lacking is portion control . So if I want to improve my diet , that's something I need to look at . And now that I've been able to identify it by forcing myself to sit there in silence for five minutes and reflect I now have actionable next steps to improve my subsequent days . And doing the same thing with the learned section really helps me to find gratitude for that day , because if I didn't learn anything , I just liked it .

Aeden 52:48

I feel like I'm kind of just passively rolling through my days . But I focused on okay , what did I learn ? And I try to make these distinct from my liked and my lacked . So I wouldn't say I learned that I lacked xyz or I learned that I liked abc . So for me I was like okay , in today I learned that sometimes it takes me five minutes to figure out what I learned . Sometimes it takes that silence okay , great .

Aeden 53:18

So now that I know that , moving forward , when I do my retros , I know to allot myself a little bit some quiet time so that I can appropriately fill this out . And the nice thing about this is because I'm able to plan so much of this out , it makes my subsequent days a lot more calm . I don't feel as stressed to be like oh my god , what am I doing ? Like what happened today . I don't need to question that , because now I know , because I've reflected and I've also found that as I do this , each of my subsequent retros get longer and longer . I have like more to say each time , and so I find that my new challenge now isn't to just fill it out , but to fill it out more precisely , to pinpoint more things , versus have like huge overarching things . So daily retros love them .

J.R. 54:04

Yeah , I like that , and I think , if you have one takeaway from this , if I'd recommend something to improve anyone's life immediately or , I guess , significantly in the long term , is to have daily reflections or consistent reflections , whether that be weekly , monthly or yearly . I mean , I do all those I do daily , weekly , monthly , yearly . But if you do that , that can orient you more towards your goals rather than kind of mindlessly going through your day or your life , and I think that'll help you to achieve what you really want and you'll understand yourself better , which is a theme of this whole show is self-awareness and really knowing who you are . I think you can't do that unless you're intentionally reflecting .

Aeden 54:41

So it's a good practice , which is really funny to me because I feel like this takes me full circle . This is the kind of practice that I learned from you and I wanted to do , because I've heard about and seen your daily , weekly , monthly , yearly reflections and that's how I'm trying to set myself up , because I want to also increase my own self-awareness as I encounter more people who are like I'm super self-aware and they aren't . But going back to hypocrisies , right , like things that just irk me , yeah , I like it .

J.R. 55:14

Okay , we have room for one more , so that's your okay

Q: Project Management Tips?

J.R. 55:17

, okay juicy , juicy .

Aeden 55:19

This one is a little self-serving for me , just because I would like to learn more from you as someone who's been in project management for a number of years what are some of your top tips , things that you find to be most useful , most effective , that you think anyone can benefit from okay , would you like to go first ?

J.R. 55:40

oh ? Right god , I have to take my good question . No , it's a great question , but would you like to go first ?

Aeden 55:47

yeah , I think something that I learned in project management which I have found to be very invaluable , is my manager told me as a project manager , if you don't know it , no one knows it , and so always ask questions , always ask for more , and I think that has helped me to not only become a better project manager , but become a better communicator . So now , even in working with friends , or even on a dance team or in the vocal studio , sometimes I'll just ask questions , I'll just keep asking questions , and I find that that not only helps me to better understand what's going on , where people are coming from , how to navigate relationships , but also puts me in a position in which I can now help everyone , or I can contribute to everyone , facilitating the conversation , yeah , and the information flow , which is critical for a team trying to achieve something .

Aeden 56:43

Exactly , and I think for work the teams are very formalized , but in a personal or like interpersonal relationship it's not as formal , but the impact is the same . So I find that being curious , being open and being willing to ask questions is a huge , huge strength of a project manager that pays in dividends in all areas of life .

J.R. 57:08

Nice . I like that Highly , agree with that , so I'll throw in another one . That I think is very helpful is , I think one of the biggest and most important things I've learned in project management , team building , stuff like that , etc . Is like empowerment of your team . I learned this in Scrum and project management a long time ago . But it's like a team that relies on a leader or a bottleneck or a manager to tell people what to do moves significantly more slowly than a team that is full of leaders who are empowered to make decisions and act faster and leverages their creativity and skills to get the job done better , kind of like a pirate crew , one piece sort of thing .

J.R. 57:50

Right , and leaning into this thing is how do I empower people to make them do better work ? And on top of that , it's how do I get them to buy into an idea that will improve everyone's lives or the whole process ? And I think , just on that point itself of buy-in , it's so important to get people to buy in , and it's not by me telling you what the right thing is , but it's to engage everyone in the conversation of how can we improve this . And it might be my idea or it might be someone else's idea , but the fact that they're in this conversation and they're like okay , here's our three options . What do you guys think ? And if everyone gets to this , okay , this is our top option and we do it .

J.R. 58:27

That buy-in is way more important than me , as the leader or manager or whatever , telling them you should do this because now they're just following orders , as opposed to now everyone's bought in , that this is the best solution . We should all adopt it . And because they're all bought into it , they're going to do it without question or they're going to just they're more sold on it , right ? So I think that's the biggest thing I've learned about leadership or project management is getting people kind of engaged in that process so that they buy in , and then that's where the change happens and that's where the empowerment happens and that's where the better pirate crew I mean , sorry , team happens .

Aeden 58:58

yeah wow , yeah , that , I think that's really cool . I like that . I super applicable because one of one of the jobs I have right now . We're going through a lot of transition . It's very top down and we're meeting a lot of resistance and so when you were describing that , I was like dang , they should have just hired you , thanks , thanks , I'll let them know .

J.R. 59:19

I'll let them know it's not too late cool all right , any last thoughts we're at time we'll do wrap up , but anything else on that before we go to come to a close for people who like to be organized , I would say , get some sort of board going . I think board , board management or like a project management or like , yeah , like a , like a trello or some sort of thing that , or like even your own post-it notes on the wall or something , right , yeah ?

Aeden 59:43

at that I find has been super helpful in helping me manage even like small things from like everyday tasks to big things like year-long projects . Personally I enjoy that a lot . So if folks want some sort of organization system , I would recommend looking into project management boards .

J.R. 1:00:01

Nice , cool , all right , we'll go to closing questions

Ending Questions: Gratitude & Final Asks

J.R. 1:00:04

. We'll keep that consistent . So first is always gratitude . Shout out to my mom , aiden , what are you grateful for ?

Aeden 1:00:11

I am once again grateful for this wonderful , beautiful podcast space and our wonderful producer . Thanks , Solomon and our wonderful producer . Thanks , solomon , thank you , oh , you're welcome . I am also thankful for jr for hosting this podcast , creating this podcast and giving folks a platform to learn from each other , and I'm grateful for my therapist Nice , yeah , yeah , shout out to her . I haven't shouted her out enough .

J.R. 1:00:44

There you go . You're changing lives by changing this dude's life . Thank you , I'll give mine just real quick Gratitude to everyone listening and contributing to this show , all of my guests , obviously , podcast Place , solomon and everyone who's watching , listening , subscribing and giving all the love and support . You know this is like a . It's a fun project that I love doing , a passion project of mine that I would do regardless , and I appreciate that people still , that people get value out of it regardless , because you know that's a . That's kind of like a peripheral benefit for me is that if you guys enjoy this , it's great . Um , so I appreciate that . So any feedback , I'm always open to that and if you have any requests or referrals and whatnot , or any topics you want me to talk about or guests you want me to have on , please let me know .

J.R. 1:01:27

But I'm grateful to follow you guys All right , and any final ask or takeaways you'd like them to have from this conversation . I know it's kind of like a random show , but any final ask aside from getting out your own project board , Hmm final ask .

Aeden 1:01:40

I'd say ask good questions , stay curious Nice .

J.R. 1:01:47

Also the theme of the show Cool . And last question , Aiden , where can they find you if they want to connect or see what you're up to ?

Aeden 1:01:55

I am primarily on Instagram at Aiden Anthony , spelled A-E-D-E-N-T-H-O-N-Y . My link tree is there as well , so that'll link to my YouTube where you can watch some of my other artistic endeavors dancing , singing , my short videos or short films , whatever you call them , and yeah .

J.R. 1:02:18

Cool . All right , Aiden . That's a wrap . Thank you so much for being here again . I really appreciate it . I know we have legendary conversations that can go on for hours , but it's nice to have it recorded for posterity and for you know , all of eternity , until the internet dies . So thank you for being here . And my final sign off , thank you guys for listening and tuning in . I really appreciate it Reminder to always be kind to other people , especially yourself , and reminder that you can always learn something from someone if you take the time to listen . So thanks for being here , thank you .