One Thousand Gurus Podcast
Everyone has a compelling story to tell with insights we can all be inspired by. J.R. Yonocruz is a software project manager, self-improvement blogger, relationship coach, dancer, stand-up comedian, and serial hobbyist with a passion for learning. He interviews unique guests from various fields to distill the strategies, habits, and mindsets we can use in our own lives. Each “guru” has a chance to give the audience a peek into a new world.
All links & socials
https://bio.site/onethousandgurus
One Thousand Gurus Podcast
#47: KM Class of 2010 - Being on a Competitive Team, Maintaining Friendships, the Burdens of Leadership, and 15-Year Aspirations
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
We gather with five members of the Kaba Modern dance team's "K10" class to reflect on our shared history and how our lives have evolved since joining the competitive team 15 years ago. Reconnecting and reminiscing, we explore how our dance team experience shaped our approach to adulthood, relationships, and personal growth.
• Getting older means shifting priorities while core values remain the same
• Time becomes more precious as we age, making it harder to maintain connections
• Dance team memories include costume mishaps, all-night practices, and the shared experience of working toward perfection
• Leadership lessons from coordinating the team translate to professional and personal life
• Finding that feeling of "team accomplishment" is difficult to replicate in adult working life
• Maintaining relationships takes intentional effort but quality matters more than frequency
• Personal aspirations include health, housing, family, and maintaining important connections
• Messages to our future selves focus on happiness, growth, and self-compassion
Guest Socials:
June Lee
- Instagram: @ohhhjune / https://www.instagram.com/ohhhjune/
- Instagram: @drjunept / https://www.instagram.com/drjunept/
Alex Cristal
- Instagram: @alexcristal__ / https://www.instagram.com/alexcristal__/
Alex Hung
- Instagram: @hungonlife / https://www.instagram.com/hungonlife/
Kan Dang
- Instagram: @kandaaang / https://www.instagram.com/kandaaang/
Links/resources:
One Thousand Gurus Podcast:
Everyone has a compelling story to tell with insights we can all be inspired by. J.R. Yonocruz is a self-improvement blogger, relationship coach, and serial hobbyist with a passion for learning. He interviews unique guests from various fields to distill the strategies, habits, and mindsets we can use in our own lives. Each “guru” has a chance to give the audience a peek into a new world.
- 💻 Website: www.onethousandgurus.com
- 🔗 All links & socials: https://bio.site/onethousandgurus
- 📧 The Weekly Guru newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/c97a350b06d6/newsletter
- 📚 Learning guides: https://stan.store/marloyonocruz
Hello everyone and welcome to another fun episode of 1000 Gurus with me , your host , jr Yonacruz . So this special episode does not feature just one guest , but actually four . For this recording , I hosted four of my fellow Cabo Modern class of 2010 , the year we joined . Cabo Modern is a competitive dance team that I was on during my college years . This team was featured on America's Best Dance Crew , a TV show that was on when I was in high school , and it was actually a huge reason why I moved down from the Bay Area to SoCal to attend UCI and hopefully join the team , and luckily it worked out . We actually have a total of 12 of us in our class , but these four were the returners of my podcast guests and also the studio has space limitations , so I don't know if we would ever be able to have all of us . We are busy adults after all .
J.R.This episode was almost two hours because we had five people and a lot to discuss , so Solomon suggested that we probably should book two time slots , but , as a disclaimer , this episode will probably mean more to us five than anyone else who might listen because it was such a personal episode , but it was still very special . Of course , we do a lot of reminiscing about us joining Kabba Modern 15 years ago , our experiences on the team , what we learned from it , how our lives have changed as we've gotten older , the burdens of leadership , our future goals and aspirations , regrets , how we approach maintaining relationships and connections as we get older , and then we end with a heartfelt message to our future selves . Even though this episode was not a typical 1000 Gurus episode , I hope you guys enjoy hearing us reflect and share our insights as a group of close friends now in our early 30s . So , without further ado , I hope you enjoy this episode with my Coven Modern class of 2010
Interview Start
J.R..
J.R.Hello everyone , and welcome back to 1000 Gurus . So I have a special show today with four separate guests . We have Alex Cristal hey , what's up everyone ? There you go . Alex Cristal Kandang , and then in the middle we have Dr Jun Lee and at the very end we have .
J.R.Alex Hung Cool . Thank you guys for being here . I really appreciate it . This was long awaited , right . I think we scheduled this in April . So you know five adults trying to schedule our lives .
JuneIt takes about three months , so that sounds about right .
J.R.Right , yeah . So yeah , these are all repeat guests on my show . I'll go into how I know them , so let's see . So yeah , we all joined Cabo Modern in winter , february 2010 , right .
J.R.As K-10 newbie class , we've all stayed close , fortunately seeing each other at least about a year at annual Christmas gatherings or something June related . You guys were all returning guests on the podcast , episodes 14 , 25 , 30 , and 34 . So , for the audience , if you guys want to look it up and yeah , I'm happy to have you guys as my first group I was always trying to figure out what combination of return guests I would like to have .
Alex CristalSo I would like to have . So you guys are the first we're returners now .
KanYeah , you guys are returners , that's kind of funny . Yeah , you guys are returners , now at least on the podcast .
J.R.Yeah , so we have . This is like a really casual sort of episode . We're just going to talk , yap , about some stuff . I have some questions and then we might randomly veer off into whatever you guys want to start off with how
Life Updates & Early 30's Adulting
J.R.you guys are doing . I know we caught up off camera but , like any big life updates you want to throw in there , no , not really anything significant .
Alex CristalJust living life , man , just hanging out with friends , family , working , working out right , single life .
J.R.That's finding your soulmate trying soulmate , my playmate , playmates , no mind mates , help me , help me all of those things .
Alex CristalJust yeah , just trying to connect with a lot of different people . Especially now I think in our 30s it's maybe a little bit harder , so just making more of an effort to do those things .
J.R.Yeah , staying connected . Yeah , a lot of my questions have to do with getting old , so we'll see right right right yeah . What about you , ken ? What are you up to ?
Kanhonestly , since my episode I wouldn't say there's been anything too big . There are difference . I finished the season with culture shock recently . We do our annual benefit show and it was a really cool experience . Got to perform with a bunch of our youth teams and , yeah , I had a really great time . It was actually this past weekend , so still recovering my body . You know , I'm happy to be here and I'm happy to see everyone , yeah .
J.R.Nice and you're going to Japan , possibly November .
KanYes , the plan is to go back and have a good time Planning on going with some friends this time , so that should be a fun experience and it's definitely something that we're looking forward to .
J.R.Heck , yeah . So if he ends up moving there and he never comes back , you'll know why .
KanYeah , we'll just shoot the episode over there . Yeah , we'll just do remote .
J.R.Yeah , what about you , june ? I know you have some updates as well .
JuneYeah , I think my episode was we filmed in November last year and so since then , actually , I transitioned from per diem to full time at work .
J.R.Nice Woo benefits , yeah , benefits , I love benefits .
JuneAnd then I've been training for this half marathon coming up actually next Sunday in SF . So , most of my weekends are like spent running , which this is like the most running I've ever done in my life and I'm still not in love with it , but I'm still going to do it . So we'll see how that goes . But I guess like the biggest thing is that , yeah , I bought my first . My husband and I bought our first property , our first condo .
JuneWe are now part of the handful of house broke millennials yay , yeah it's great , it's great , yeah , just opening up a new chapter and so huge for us make sure to drill holes in every wall .
J.R.Yeah , up a new chapter and so huge for us . Make sure to drill holes in every wall .
JuneYeah , we just went to Home Depot today and got a drill so we're gonna everything and mops , just in case .
J.R.Yeah , we'll find a bucket .
Alex HungA bucket . Make sure you know where the water line is . Yeah , so you can shut it off oh god great okay
Kansurely not behind the TV , right ? Yeah , I mean the pipe can't be behind where you want the TV right .
Alex HungSurely it's an inside joke , because I flooded my house . Oh yeah Well listen to Alex's episode . Yeah , yikes .
JuneWell , yeah , good advice . For sure we just we've . This is our first week of just like sleeping there , and so we're just like getting used to the sounds and like even the environment , the smells , just how things are , and like it's different . For sure I'm used to having like pitch black darkness and so I have to wear like this blackout eye mask to make sure that I can fall asleep , and it's just different right now . But I think those are just the growing pains that you get with moving anywhere .
J.R.Is it more space than you had before ? I'm just curious .
JuneWe were living in my parents' house for the past two years while we were saving up , and so , while this feels it's like a two-bed , two-bathroom condo so it feels like an apartment it's more space than us shoving all of our stuff into my one bedroom . So , yeah , there's a lot more space than what we were just in before .
J.R.Yeah , that's what I figured , because usually when you move from a place that you're shared and then your own , it's like wow so much space .
JuneI can actually space my things out now . Yeah , it's great , and there's a lot of good natural sunlight , and so it just feels bright and airy .
Alex HungVery nice . Did you decide to buy new things for this space and kind of start over a little bit , or are you moving in some old things ?
Junefirst we had a lot of stuff in storage from when we were living in our apartment in Central Coast , so that was like two years ago , three years ago , right before we got married , and so like our big stuff , like our couch and our bed , are the same and some of our like furniture is the same . But I've gotten a lot of stuff from doing UGC . And so I have another free .
JuneI have a big couch in my second bedroom and got a new couch like this ergonomic desk and chair and all this fun stuff , and so it's like a mix and match of certain things .
J.R.So it's nice I don't have to buy things right now I'm just collecting things oh no , hopefully no one sends me a free like table oh no , I would hate to get a free new bed .
JuneOh no .
J.R.I don't need this . Please don't Free car . Or a brand new house , free mortgage , free car , free house . She just says UGC just to furnish her house , and then she stops after that .
JuneKind of it's kind of a life hack , honestly .
Alex HungThat's smart , so nice . All right , hong , how about you ? Yeah , for me , work has gotten more busy . There's just a lot of things that are happening with work . Specifically recently , we've been talking to a venture partner , and so there's been a lot of back and forth about how we could do a joint venture together . We recently went to Denver to meet them in person , along with the actual capital person , the VC , and it was a very interesting experience , to say the least .
Alex HungI won't say too much , but I think it comes down to some interesting thoughts when someone is presenting you with millions of dollars I mean , it's not me specifically , but our company and you have to decide whether you want to take it or not .
Alex HungRight , and money always comes with stipulations , and so it was like an interesting exercise to think about . Ok , what do we want ? What are we going to get out of this ? Is this a good long term thing or not so much , and I think , at the end of the day , it was a good experience to at least for us was a good experience to at least for us as a company also to just to think about what we find to be most important and what we're willing to part with as far as , maybe , ownership and things like that . So , other than that , that's what made work a little bit more stressful . Along with just trying to grow as a company , I've been focusing on go to market a lot , which is something that I don't have a history of doing , but it's been a good experience . We just haven't seen results yet , and I got a new couch , hey .
J.R.Hey , I had to pay for it , though I had to pay for mine , though I had to pay for mine , yeah the life , I had to pay for mine .
Junethough , I had to pay for mine . Guys , the life hack is just .
Alex HungI know I should have started a UGC channel .
JuneYou know what I'm actually giving away my couch soon .
J.R.Hey this is your chance . Free couch I don't need a couch , but yeah , maybe in the future .
Alex HungBut I did get the couch that I've wanted for a really long time . It the couch that I've wanted for a really long time . It's one of those like electric recliners .
J.R.Oh , fancy .
JuneYeah , oh .
J.R.I saw your story , so did you like move things around to accommodate that , or like it looked cleaner than before ? Oh yeah , I don't know if you shoved it all in the couch , yeah .
Alex HungThe picture that I took of my new couch did look nicer because I had to move things out of the way .
Alex HungSo they can move the couch in okay , you didn't just shove all that stuff in the couch , I had to move it back . So now it doesn't look as nice as when I took that photo . But the thing is , since I live in this townhouse that's three stories the staircase is very narrow and so I had to buy a modular couch , and I could not bring my old couch down the stairs again because it messed up my walls on the way up . I had to actually toss it off the balcony . I'm serious . So I I tossed it off the balcony and did someone catch it or like ?
Alex Hungno , it just actually laid the rug down that I was gonna throw away as well , just to just to catch everything . Yeah , my girlfriend was actually scared . She's like , if you throw it off the balcony , is it gonna break the concrete ? I'm like , do you ? Oh my god , it's not gonna break the balcony . Is it going to break the concrete ? I'm like , do you ? Oh , my God , it's not going to break the concrete . I mean it's just a sofa .
JuneIt's not even that heavy . So that couch , that old couch , is now a goner yeah .
Alex HungI told the trash to come pick it up . It actually disappeared a day before they were supposed to pick it up , so I don't know if they picked it up earlier or someone took took a broken couch because it fell from the second floor .
J.R.Yeah , from the sky . Was it not usable ?
Alex Hungit's probably usable , but it definitely was broken from falling off the second floor , yeah , but I do love the new couch . The dog that I'm dog sitting already threw up on it , so that's great uh blessed it , he blessed it yeah , thanks good luck thanks dog like when you get bird poo .
JuneGood luck , right . Is that how that works ? Yeah ? Is it good luck . Yeah , you've never , heard that when a bird poops on you , it's good luck .
J.R.So that's good luck . Dog vomiting on your couch is that good luck ? I think they're a little different . Or is that shitty luck ? Yeah ?
Alex HungLiterally , that's shitty me . Maybe part of what we might talk about later today is just it's hard to find a balance of things , maybe especially in this part of our lives where we are all probably a little bit more focused on our career than we were 10 years ago , and maybe we'll be even more focused on our career 10 years from now , maybe not . Maybe , like , family is more important at that point . So yeah , for me it's just trying to find a balance of that Still seeing my friends , still calling my parents , just trying to balance all that .
Q: What Has Changed for Us Since College?
J.R.That was like my first question I want to ask you guys . But the broad question is what is it like getting older , if anything comes to mind ? But I guess , specifically , we met when we were in our I guess 18 , 19 year old , something like that . We were in our late teens now , and then we went through our 20s and now we're in our 30s . I don't know what has changed since then . This is like a 10 year reflection , 20 or 15 year reflection , whatever priorities yeah , priorities , and I think core values say the same .
JuneIt's just your life experiences around what you value at the time . So , like for me , I still value my independence and being able to make something purposeful with my life , and so , whatever that is at the time , like in school , I really prioritized being on Cabo Modern because that was something that gave me fulfillment and passion and reward , and so , going through your 20s , I then shifted my focus more towards my career and studying and building up the foundation for now , in my 30s , I have this career , but now that I've I feel like I not like necessarily conquered that phase of life , but I've really built that foundation . I'm pretty solid with that .
JuneI cannot think about my next step in life , which is still now still being this independent person , but now that I'm married , meshing like those two worlds together . So I think that's like finding a balance of making decisions that still make me happy , but with my partner in mind . So I'm still trying to figure that out because we're still we're only two years in and even though we've been together for much longer than that I feel like this phase of life is just a little bit different now that we both own a home together , and now we're making decisions for our future together and maybe even family planning , things like that . So yeah , just different events happen , but I feel like who you are still remains the same inside you just grow up differently and then I think you're just ever evolving with the life events that happen to you I have one thought yeah , it's more of just a .
Alex HungThe thing that came to mind when you asked that question was patience , and for me it's . I've gained patience in some areas and I've lost patience in other areas , like what ? So when I was younger , I think I was a lot more patient to put myself in uncomfortable situations , because I felt like it would be a learning experience or maybe it would be good for me in other ways and I could grow from them . But as I got older , I think I know where my boundaries are for what I enjoy and what I don't enjoy , and so if it's something that I don't enjoy , I have a lot less patience for that , knowing that I don't want to be there or I don't want to interact with certain things or people , whereas the patience , though , for that has grown , would be for certain people .
Alex HungI think it just comes with understanding why people act the way that they act and be the way that they are , and with that understanding , you have the ability to be more patient , because you understand why they're acting out and you understand why they're pissing you off , and so you almost feel like , oh , I probably shouldn't be pissed off at them , because I know that they're just upset because of whatever reason that you understand that previously you would have just thought oh , they're being so rude to me , I need to be rude back to them , and you wouldn't have that patience . So I think that's a big thing for me . Patience has changed .
J.R.I think I agree with that , where it's like you have more empathy for people as you move along , but also it's like you're not so open to growing and being uncomfortable in those situations , like you're saying alex or ken , I guess . If not that I'm curious if your life has unfolded differently than you thought it would when you were like 18 , 19 and then now you're , you guys are in your early 30s , you guys just kind of don't go , I'll go out , let's just kind of flirt at each other .
Alex CristalYeah , I think . Going back to the question of getting older , yeah , I think the biggest change is just time and the spaces that you're in . I think when we're in your 30s or even late 20s , when you're working , weeks go by so fast that again .
Alex CristalIt took us what three , maybe four months to get a schedule like for an episode for a podcast . But before , when we were on call monitors , like , hey , you want to just get curry barbecue , like after class or something , it was just so easy because we were in the same space , in the same kind of wavelength of schedule . But now , because we're working like the people that we see the most is our co-workers , and it's hard after , let's say , a 40-hour work week . You have so many responsibilities that you need to take care of . It's hard to even have the capacity to sometimes want to go out or want to make plans because you have to recharge or just re-energize yourself for the next upcoming week .
Alex CristalYeah , and even for school schedules , there was always winter break , summer break , spring break . Now it's just work life , you know life no breaks
Alex Cristalyeah there's no , only holidays are the ones that you can maybe plan something , but even so , when you have a day off for holidays , it's oh , it's finally I have time to catch up on my errands , or finally catch up on something that you can maybe plan something . But even so , when you have a day off for holidays , it's oh , let's finally have time to catch up on my errands or finally catch up on something that you always feel like you're falling behind . But when I think , when we're in college or in your 20s or whatever , the case is like we had so much time and free freedom to dictate our own schedule , our own , how we spent our time , because of the spaces that we're in , yeah I think that's probably the
Kanbiggest thing that I see yeah , I would agree with that that . I think as you get older , your time becomes way more precious .
KanI think you're more conservative with how you distribute it and I think , also , as we get older , there's I feel like there's so many more things being celebrated and weekends become like very luxury real estate , like it feels like every weekend there's like a birthday or like a baby shower or a wedding or something like that , and I feel very blessed to be in the position to be able to attend all these events .
KanBut at the same time , sometimes there's conflicts and I have to make a choice do I go to this thing or this thing ? And I think , as I get older , that's something I have been processing , because it's not that I don't want to be at everything , it's just it's like literally impossible . So I try to be more conscious of what I put my attention and my time towards . And , yeah , but I think one of the things that I didn't expect was how a lot of my relationships would continue to grow very strongly and it feels like , even if , like , months go by or even if years go by , to be able to reconnect is like such a blessing . To reconnect is like such a blessing and so , um , because time is much more precious , I feel like every moment to catch up , even if it's like small , even if it's big , like it feels so much more fulfilling , and so I think that was probably a change I didn't expect that I'm really enjoying at the moment I want to go into
Q: Fun Stories from Kaba Modern
Kanreminiscing over our modern days now .
J.R.Do you guys have any interesting stories or stuff that comes to mind ? I know in some of your episodes we talked about some of these , but then when Alex came here first , we were talking about it . I don't know what you're talking about . I know what he's going to say , but do you guys have any interesting stories that you guys remember ? I'm just curious because there's so many things out there Like it was tough .
JuneIt was tough but super fun . I think the first thing that actually comes to mind was maybe one of the last times we were all dancing together because , jr , you're only there up until newbie . Return of year , right .
J.R.Yeah , I was there for part of old year .
JuneAnd so I think one of the highlights of our time was , like even just like Hell Week leading up to oh shoot , now I forgot the competition where we got first place for the movie set oh , prelude , oh yeah , or even like for the next one , was like for vibe , but I think that there was just a moment during rehearsal where we did this final dress rehearsal or final run through , all in our costumes and we just felt , yo , this is it , this is the one , and even if we don't place , this is the set and I felt like , all right , if I never dance after this again , I'd be really satisfied yeah , when it's just so nice to share that type of feeling and that type of like completion , I guess to to share that with you guys , because you guys are in my class and like we came from like day zero to then at that point and we were all working hard towards creating something as a unit and it wasn't just one person who was doing one thing .
JuneIt's like everyone had a role on this team and I think we always say , oh , even if you're in the back , like if someone's looking at you , so don't feel like you can just hide . It's like I feel like everyone gave their 110 percent to make it feel like they're the star of the show , but really that mentality made the entire set so powerful , and so I thought that was just really special to think about , because it's not like , yes , I love watching our videos from time to time , like on YouTube , but I get to cherish the memories I have of like behind the scenes and no one else is going to understand that feeling of working hard and then just feeling yeah feeling it .
J.R.I was gonna ask you guys do you guys remember any funny or interesting behind the scenes moments ? And the one that comes to mind first , if you guys want to think , is remember when , alex , when we were doing the Scream set and our costume changes were insane . Oh , and for every run through I never got my costume all the way on until we were on stage , for I Think , prelude Wow . And then I actually got it on . Wow . And then we did well .
JuneBut until then I had never got it on on time .
J.R.It was meant to be yeah , yeah , yeah and it's always nice dancing next to Alex because he always like hypes you up , let's go . I got it . Come on stage that's a good man .
Alex CristalYeah , totally remember you remember that ? Yeah , because I told you that I think we talked about this .
J.R.Yeah , I was like oh my god , I'm not getting this , because we went from fully . I had four layers on fully clothed . Every piece was stripping off more layers until we're naked for 300 . And then we put back on like black clothes for Scream and then we go into Matrix after that . But yeah , that one from naked to Scream , I was like never happened .
Alex HungAre you just wearing boxers underneath the ?
J.R.No because I had , maybe because , no , no , no because I had black pants on that I would wear also for the next piece right so I was pretty much in boxers for 300 , but then after that I was like yeah , everything back on dang .
JuneThat's hard when you're like sweating and then you have to put clothes back on and then you have to put this mask on right oh , like I didn't for a jitterbug , I did my beat to us with my cape underneath my shirt and the vest under that .
J.R.So I was literally had four layers on .
Alex HungOh yeah , that's still early in the yeah that was like the very like second piece .
J.R.So yeah , it was funny .
Alex HungI swear I had three pairs of pants on , for yeah , I think I had two at least , with the skirt like five layers I think yeah , that was terrible .
J.R.What else ? Do you guys have any funny behind the scenes ?
KanI think some funny ones are just like random quotes . I remember one time Hung was cleaning a piece or something it was like blocking or whatever and we like paused the floor time and he goes okay , everything should be good , otherwise something is wrong .
KanAnd it's just like we're like so delirious and it's like , yeah , that's kind of how it works , like if it's not right then it's wrong , but genius but it feels like but , it's like little things like that that really make the experience of our time on modern , and I think that was like one of the first quotes where people started calling him funny man hung oh that's right . So he's truly a poet but , such a way with the words
Alex Hungyeah , have a way with words yeah , stating the obvious . I've also been called captain obvious quite a bit , so it's okay . You're just making sure everyone's on the same page . Yeah , otherwise you're probably not on the same page .
J.R.Let me just ask the stupid question for everyone here not just me yeah , it's for everyone .
Alex HungI'm doing everyone a favor , right I think another story with hung .
Alex CristalI don't know if y'all remember it was a new year , I think it was towards the end of the year . We were all sitting and like bring it in and like dana was talking and then hung was sleeping . Do you remember that she called you out ?
J.R.she's like hung wake up was this new year ?
Alex CristalI think it was new year yeah but it was like a really late practice . Totally get it . And we're trying to debrief and I think you fell asleep during bring it in . I remember that specifically .
JuneOr I think it was maybe hell week and you're like do you think I can leave practice early so I could go study ? Oh , like no . It was like 3 am . We didn't final the next day .
Alex HungI was so shocked that that was the answer .
Alex CristalReality check yeah , you shouldn't have asked , you should have just said . Just said , hey , I need to leave . I don't know , I get it .
KanYou're newbie too , honest , I get it honestly , because of the time she probably still would have said no , yeah , yeah , it goes to show like what we sacrificed during that part of our life . I think another interesting story or to me it was interesting was that we were getting ready for the movie set and I remember we had an insane amount of practice and I think the last or like second to last practice our rehearsal time is supposed to start at seven , but I remember vividly that day like it felt like everybody was like late and not just like five , ten minutes late . Everyone was like people showing up an hour late , two hours late , but no one said anything because we were all so tired . So I felt like everyone just had a common understanding of whatever yeah , just come whenever you can come and then we'll rehearse .
KanYeah , it's kind of crazy that we got to that point and it obviously paid off because that set was like so memorable . But just thinking , like no one had to say anything , no one had to ask for permission , like we just showed up whenever we were ready for practice you know what's crazy is that right now I can't even fathom having to stay up past 11 o'clock to dance , so I don't just stay up and then thinking how we would have sunrise practices up until 5 , 6 , 7 am and then maybe go to sleep and then try to show up to either work or school .
JuneI don't know . That's just such a crazy time , Like what 15 years ago .
JuneIt's that youthful energy I remember one time I think , like I . Actually that happened and I had work . We ended at seven , I'd work at eight and I was gonna take a nap , but I slept through my alarm and my boss was calling me , but I ignored it and so then I just kept sleeping and sleeping . They gave me , they called me three times and they're like if you don't call us back , you're no longer employed , and I'm all I had an emergency come up and I started crying and they're like if you don't call us back , you're no longer employed .
JuneAnd I'm all . I had an emergency come up and they started crying and they're like , okay , okay , okay , we'll see you tomorrow . And I'm just like , oh , thank God . So moral of the story is cry . I was about to say on your episode .
J.R.You're like , yeah , every interview I cry and every new guy get the jobs .
Alex HungYeah . I wish I had that skill , A woman's tears man At the same time , though I think , thinking back on our practices , they're so inefficient that we did not need to stay up that late . We did not have to do an all nighter . I think hell week didn't have to be what it was , if it was just planned better . But then again , we were all college students yeah figure it out , and so you know we we didn't have the , the project management skills that we have now . Can we be more efficient with this ?
J.R.no , shut up newbies , okay .
Alex CristalYeah , I mean it's 20 year olds leading 20 year olds yeah , exactly yeah , it's tough literally we're not getting paid to do it wait , what are you gonna talk about ?
Kanyeah , how you shorten your lifespan well , okay .
J.R.So yeah , we talked about this in ken's episode about how I like stayed up for almost like 72 hours when I was like , yeah , that was a great story , I sacrificed my life just for that . I'm pretty sure I'm gonna die first , because , yeah , it wasn't exactly three days , it was maybe closer to like 65 hours , yeah , but it was two days straight plus some change , and that was class in the morning and then working at jamba juice , so straight to practice and then rinse and repeat for two and a half days yeah , and I told , can that ?
J.R.he's like , yeah , you haven't slept . I was like , nope , not slept . Yeah , maybe I closed my eyes for like 10 minutes , but otherwise I was back to back . But the other thing I to say was remember when people would come laying like , oh yeah , sorry , I was late Circle up and I'm like , oh yeah , I was on time . Sorry guys , I'm just a dick , but Canada always laughs , so it kind of encouraged me .
KanI just knew , I just knew Just to dial back . But yeah , the conversation where JR stayed up very long , I remember to paint the picture . He worked at Jamba Juice and he also brought me a smoothie and we were really about the peanut butter mood at the time and we had the 3G boost and you could just imagine two college kids like super sleep deprived , sipping on our Jamba Juice , ready to do another rehearsal . But yeah , what'd you put in the Jamba Juice man ?
J.R.I put in all the caffeine that jamba juice had to offer every little inch of wheatgrass and matcha shot .
J.R.One of the things that the peanut butter movie reminds me of was one of my . It was after one of my birthdays I think it was my 21st birthday with modern and of course , I was hungover the next day right and had class in the morning like an 8 am math class . I got a peanut butter mood , which is a terrible idea , and at the end of that class I definitely threw up all that peanut butter mood .
KanYeah it was pretty crazy . It's the crazy times , for sure .
Alex CristalWe were so willing to do it , man , we were just willing to be a part of something special and be about that time and being present with our teammates and holding up our role on the team , as much as we're sleep deprived and how much like it sucked , freaking , dancing in concrete and sunrises in the cold , yeah , like it just felt such a like we had a compass to like north star that we wanted to achieve , regardless if it felt like it was irrational or unhealthy for us . I don't know . Every time when I would go to rehearsal I'm like man , like my class is stepping up , they're in class , they're doing all these things , they're not sleeping . I need to also pull up . I think it was just that synergy of energy that we're just willing for the love and passion that we had for each other and the team . I don't know .
J.R.I'm just glad that was part of that like space with you guys , of course , you know ,
Q: What Would You Redo About Our Newbie Year?
J.R.if you guys could go back to new beer , would you do anything different ?
Alex CristalYeah , I think I would hang out with you guys more .
J.R.I didn't hang out with you guys as much . I mean same .
Alex CristalYeah , I don't know Like we're too cool . I wasn't that far away .
J.R.I didn't go to uci . That's the other thing I tell people is , like with modern , not everyone goes to uci . So people like our dc friends or whatever , like they could go to class together all the time but , like for us , we can always do that . So I had none of you guys in my classes and and some of you guys probably talk to each other but , like I know , for our team , we're so spread out , so I feel like that was one thing that I wish we had , but it's just what it is .
KanI think I would not sign up for any 8 am 9 am classes . That's definitely was one of the hardest things ever was going to practice and having an 8 am or 9 am . I think hindsight's always 20-20 , but I would always . I think I would go back and try to be more present , because there's like a lot of things I feel like I didn't truly process completely . Because there's like a lot of things I feel like I didn't truly process completely and , looking back even though I look back on it fondly I wish that I was like oh , like this is the last time we're gonna do this , or this is the last time I'm gonna dance with this person , or this is the last time we're gonna do this show , and I think just soaking everything in fully and making more memories with people and connecting with people , because sometimes , like you never know , that's the last time you're gonna see that teammate or whatever , true , so yeah , yeah , I think I agree like just spending more time with people , even outside our class yeah returners oldies , super oldies .
JuneI feel like there was , with the labeling of a class , like there were always oh , you have to be close to your class . But I also feel like I was , with the labeling of a class , like there were always oh , you have to be close to your class . But I also feel like I wish I was a lot closer to almost everyone else too , not just the 10 , 11 , 12 people in our class . I also wish that we as a team could have , I don't know , broken down some of those walls a little bit more , so I could feel more comfortable as a new , I could turn to them Because you just feel , oh , I'm not good enough to even talk to you because you're so much older than me or you're so much better than me and I'm not worthy of your time unless I prove myself in some capacity .
J.R.Yeah , that's true . If there was something you guys could
Q: What Could We Have Improved About Our Experience?
J.R.change about how our modern experience was , do you have any thoughts on that ? Obviously aside from making practices more efficient , but was there anything that you guys feel like might have improved that ?
KanI would say some of it was already changing when we were on the team , but I think something that could have been implemented more was to receive more outside training . I think at the time that we were on modern , most of the training or what we learned was within the team or within the cob modern network , and I think there was a lot of resources that we probably could have used outside of modern to grow more into more well-rounded dancers , and so obviously that comes with trade-offs too . But I think , just looking back and how , what material we learned and what skills we applied and stuff , I think it would have been nice to maybe broaden that a little bit just to see what else is out there , I'm constantly thinking about how I pissed everyone off my newbie year , how so .
Alex HungWell , you said what would you do differently ? Well , I pissed everyone off because I you would not piss people off , I would piss people .
J.R.I pissed a lot of people off because I , you would not piss people off . I would piss people . I pissed a lot of people off , so you did piss people off , but what you would redo is you piss them off more . I would try on his skills on his talents ?
Alex Hungyeah , I definitely didn't piss them off enough . No , well , the reason why I piss people off is because there was this hierarchy in the team where you can't it seemed like you can't really speak your mind and they don't really take your opinion into consideration . If you're a newbie and I didn't like that and I was going against the grain there and what it caused is friction with myself and the rest of the team Would I do it differently ? I think at the time I didn't really know how to keep my mouth shut and I didn't know how to . I thought that I'm being honest with my opinion and my thoughts and so hopefully they'd listen and they'd take it into consideration , but they didn't all the time and that upset me .
Alex HungBut I don't really have an answer to that question . I don't know if I would have done anything differently , because at the time that's just how I felt . Yeah , and it was almost like when we talk about anime , right , there's this hero's journey where something bad has to happen before you learn something about yourself or about others , and so there was definitely this feeling of somewhat transformation from my newbie year to my return a year into my old year that I appreciate . So I guess if I were to go back I wouldn't really change anything because it played out in a way that helped me in the long run . I just piss people off on the way .
J.R.So you know that comes from . I realized after talking with you guys and Arnaud is like that's from Filipino culture .
JuneOh , is it ? It's a Filipino culture thing .
J.R.It's a respect your elders don't talk back . And I'm like , oh shoot , that was Kavamata .
KanGod damn it .
Alex CristalHonestly yeah .
J.R.But like the positive side of that , like what Arnaud was saying , saying on his episode , which is like the culture of respect is a good thing , right , and you respect the giants that come before you , that lead the path , and there's that sort of side . But if you twist it or you don't cultivate or cherish it in the right way , it could be that toxic don't talk back to me culture and I'm always right which is not the way it's supposed to be , but it stems from that sort of cultural nuance . Yeah , I think I just didn , just didn't get it . Yeah , do you guys have any regrets ?
Q: Regrets?
J.R.I know these are similar questions , but I have something in mind . That's why . But do you guys have any regrets that you would change ? Go for it , man .
JuneYeah , go for it , jared . Let's hear it . Let's hear it . What was it ?
J.R.Okay , this isn't actually regret , but this was a story . I went to Korea , started drinking and I'm like everything's cool right .
J.R.But then I got in trouble . Like I had to meet with the cords and they're like , oh , do you know , what you did was like wrong In my head . I was like , no , it wasn't wrong , I was just speaking my mind . But I understood the concerns because of what it like the dynamics of me speaking my mind and saying that and posting it in our Facebook group was so I understood that . But I like half-heartedly apologized , like yeah , I'm so sorry , but I was like I still meant every word , but it was my perspective . So now I know . Now in hindsight it's more of okay , my perspective is valid , but also considering everyone else's perspective might not have been the best approach , but I think that was interesting .
J.R.One of my regrets , I guess the thing that I was going to go into , was like auditions were always my favorite part of my call of modern experience , because that was our time to show how much we've grown and to not only do the choreography but do it differently , like we can block it ourselves or do different choreo or do the choreo to the wrong song .
J.R.And so for me I always loved audition season , just to showcase us as returners or oldies or whatnot . But one of the things I did regret was , you know how , in the round three or whatever , where there was like the freestyle round and I'm a freestyle dancer by foundation , right , like by my core , but I never went in because I was always so scared , since there were other freestyle dancers there . And I remember there was this one moment , my third year auditioning , so it's not like I've never been here before and then I was about to go in for a song that was like a popping song and then mike song comes in and he just he like kills that shit and I'm like now I can't go in . And then it changes to like another genre .
JuneI'm like , okay , well , there was my one shot , my third year , so my regret was not going into that circle , but I don't know , if you guys had stories I think that stayed with you this entire time no , I I mean I've mentioned this before I'm like man , I'm a freestyler .
J.R.But my four years auditioning I never went in and so that was my regret , because I'm like , but I'm a freestyler , like , why was I holding myself back so much ? Because I know I can do it , but I guess something about it was like , just I couldn't get through it .
Alex HungI do get what you mean , because my background is freesty , like showcasey , yeah , like I have to give you everything in this round and I don't like any of the music that's being played yeah that's the other thing too . Yeah , I feel like I'm forcing myself to , to put myself out there just to get something down , just to check a box , and I never felt good about it after . So I I get why you probably didn't go in because you weren't feeling yeah , and that might have been part of it .
J.R.I feel like it took me a couple years to get over that . And then after two years , after I graduated , I'm like , wait , now I feel comfortable jumping into a cypher , but in that moment , like even before , I could do cyphers with my friends or bba and stuff like that . But it was that specific environment where I'm like why am I so scared that I can't even go in , which is very weird .
Alex HungI didn't know that , because usually you're not scared of yeah , dancing , I don't know exactly and that was just the time where I failed three , three years in a row .
KanI don't know I wish I choreographed more . I think choreographing when you're younger is like very like healthy for your growth as a dancer , and I remember thinking like , oh cow , modern already has like enough choreographers . There's already people who are very experienced , like very established , and have an idea who will become the main choreographers of the team , and so I think that's probably one of my regrets is that I should have . Even if I never became a choreographer on modern , it would have been nice to still pursue that journey , since I think that is a pretty important aspect of dancing when you're younger , especially on a college team did you do all the choreo submissions , the ?
KanI forgot what it's called , but you know where we piece of the piece auditions yeah , I think I did for some of them , but I definitely could have done more and I could have tried harder .
J.R.Right the effort right I remember going into newbie you're seeing all of of our oldies and super oldies do every piece and I remember Deo told me he's like oh yeah , if you want to get better , always submit pieces or a choreograph and stuff like that for showcase . And so I was determined to do every single one , which I did and then collabed and I knew that helped out a lot . But it was because my super oldie told me to do that and I was like , okay , I'm never going to miss one , I'm just going to put in the work . So that was always a fun experience because it's kind of like auditions , where you get to showcase what you're all about .
Alex HungI don't know if this is regret , but this is something that I wish I got to do . That just never really happened . I focused so much on locking and locking pieces while I was on the team and I team and I feel like I was pigeonholed where that's all I can do . Wait , you can do more than locking . Well , that's what I was hoping to showcase , but , yeah , I didn't really get a lot of opportunity and I'm not really sure how I would have given myself more opportunity to do other styles while I was on the team .
Alex HungI'd never had very good luck in making other pieces and making other styles that were outside of maybe breaking or locking and occasionally popping related pieces , so anything outside of that , which now I really appreciate that type of movement and how it feels on my body , but at the time I was never really exposed to it and so I could never work on that side of my dancing , and I think that's also what contributed to me maybe being really stiff as a dancer at the time is , I think , how I would view it right now , whereas I've loosened up over the years when I started to experiment in other types of styles and things like that . So maybe it just wasn't meant to be at the time in my life for me to branch out , and it's not a bad thing that I focus on one right , but it would have been nice , I think well , on the other side of that , like you were amazing and you were in pieces .
JuneYou like master alex , never put me in his pieces .
J.R.I did oh I did a flip and left you . You were 300 .
KanYou were slow motion , slow motion . You were in slow motion , you were in the slow motion part with the other one right .
J.R.All right , jerry , you can have an eight count , but you're just going slow for an eight count , then you leave . Oh , that's right . I was killing someone after I flipped . I think it was Lala , it was L .
JuneI think , so Someone .
J.R.Might have been Lava , so at least you were on stage . Yeah , I guess that's true . Glares at Alex .
Alex CristalChristal Put you in invented sex man In the back .
J.R.In the back just to run through the back . Dude you're also in X-Con .
Alex CristalGive it to you .
J.R.See , I'm just making you . This is an exercise .
Alex CristalWeren't you and Marco like mirrors ?
J.R.Because we're If you're .
KanMarco's mirror . That means you have a really good spot .
Alex CristalI put you in things man , I put you in things . Of course I did .
J.R.We'll review the receipts later .
KanBut to go off what Jun said , I mean you were like a main choreographer of Modern . It's like you were known as like the person who would choreograph locking for Cobb Modern and I think at the 30th Gala you had a bunch of pieces nominated for Best Locking Piece . So I think that goes for a lot . There you go specialist .
Alex HungYou guys probably know this already , but the reason why I did it was because I wasn't put in any pieces there . You go , so I was like okay , I have to do it myself given and I have to block myself in the middle and I actually did take that lesson way past just dance and into work and oh , you can't really .
Alex HungIf you can rely on other people , that's great . You're lucky to have people that will support you . But if no one's there to support you , then you just gotta figure it out and make it happen yourself . So I did apply it to a lot of other things , because that's exactly what happened on kabo modern , at least in the beginning . I don't know if you guys experienced something that you learned in kabo
Q: What Did You Learn from KM that You Applied in Life?
Alex Hungmodern that you applied after your question .
KanI think the biggest thing I learned from kabo modern was how to interact and communicate with different people , because on or really any dance team is that your unified experience is through dance . But people come from different backgrounds . They have even within the dance team , they have different desires .
KanSome people they , if they join a competing team , like they want to win and some people they join it because their friends join it right and so you really learn how to connect everyone and how to really personalize your relationship with each person because , like those of us who came from kaba kids , we had a prior relationship already and we're we have to like figure out how to navigate our new relationship on modern and how to navigate new relationships with people we've like never met before , and so I think being on modern really taught me that everyone is different and you have to learn how to just be with them , because whether , let's say , you don't like them , then you're I mean , you're stuck with them for a whole year , so you might as well figure out how to find some like common ground or anything like that .
J.R.And , yeah , that's probably the one of the biggest lessons that you can apply to like anywhere in life that I learned I personally learned from modern and that's crazy is that we jump into this insane competitive team environment and we like just became adults right , like 18 , 19 , 20 , and then we have to navigate , like dealing with different people , feeling like crap because everyone's better dancer than us except for alex , yeah , and then so it's navigating , all of that , and then also having to catch up , and then college too , like we're going to college and adjusting to school .
J.R.So there's just so many different things there . I feel like how do we get through that ? But I think the theme that I've been seeing , especially with following you guys , is that I feel like that rough seas make better sailors sort of thing , where I always appreciate having those tough challenges because I know that I'm better for it afterwards , like stronger because everything else is quote easier After doing that . Having to deal with the hierarchy situation , like having to grow up as dancers , as people , and juggling all these different things and not sleeping and everything . No , I think that's true .
Alex CristalThe things that we went through called Modern just sets us up for adults , like if let's say or you go out with your friends and it's like Sunday night , you're like man , I have work tomorrow . You think about it . You're like I've been through worse yeah , I've been through worse . I can do this .
Alex CristalI've been through worse , for less . I can do this , but I think what I've learned again what kind of was saying just how to navigate through , how to deal with other people , but you also like the role that you play on the team . I think that's what I've learned the most . And taking that into adult life , like in a company or in your family , like how to , what is your role for that specific entity I think it's how I've learned , especially being as a newbie , returner , oldie , super oldie and coordinator right , it's how do you excel in the way that you want to , and I think I've taken that in again . Different parts of life through work , through family , friends , right . I think modern specifically has helped me , made me play like mind , exercises of like , okay , how do I navigate or excel with this situation , with this dynamic of my class , returners , oldies , different people of walks of life , and that kind of has carried me through again , I think now into my 30s .
Alex CristalI think that's what I took from it mostly .
J.R.Do you have an example of any of those specific roles that you feel like are good to contrast or point out ?
Alex CristalYeah , I think let's say , you become a newbie on Cobble Modern right , it's like oh shoot .
Alex CristalEverything is so new . Like , how do I be the best dancer or the best teammate or the best person for this role ? And you start a new job the same thing . Oh man , there's a hierarchy , there's people I have to report to . Like , how do I do the best thing in this role with my coworkers , with my superior or supervisor manager ? What is the best way to excel of our mission statement of kaba modern ? Or the company like what is our north star to ? And the role that I play in with this again entity ? How do I do it ? The best way to excel , whatever it is that we're trying to do ? I think you can maybe do it both , or even just being with friends . This is my friend group , this is my class . How to be the best person for each specific individual and then now into your 30s , like friend groups that you have . Like how do I be that like also for this group or this group different ?
Alex Cristalfriend groups , like different contexts , what role you play and how you want to like achieve whatever is goal that you have in that situation yeah , because I think what , even what can was saying you of course , obviously interact with different parts , different people , different walks of life , which we all do in every specific like hub , that you're part of every different community , and for me , I just always try to think of ways , of what is my role in this relationship and how do I excel at this for them , even for me too I think my biggest kind of going off of that , my biggest learning experience , happened more in hindsight .
JuneBut looking back at my very last year as a cord , like being now in a leadership position , and looking back at all the times I have made so many mistakes and I have a lot of oh I shouldn't have said that this way versus what I said , or maybe I shouldn't actually have said those words that has actually shaped how now I treat my individual patients , cause now I spend one-on-one time with people who are now looking to me for help and so knowing I think it's like the two extremes , like so many like bad things happened I guess that year in my eyes , like of personal , I feel like I was a person that I didn't necessarily think I was at the time .
JuneLet's just say the extreme like I was a monster , right , but after reflecting on how I was and how I treated people back then and apologizing to people who I've done wrong too , now doing that moving forward , I can then use that as a way to do better for the people who are now counting on me in this moment . Moving forward , it's tough . It's tough being reflective because , oh god , I'm getting emotional , but I think it emotional , but I think it's important Just getting the job . I think it's important to like also recognize your mistakes that you've made , because that's how you will really realize how you're going to grow or who the person that you want to be . I don't know you self-shape and no one is going to change you except for you , and so you have to figure out what direction you want to go towards . But it's always important to reflect on where you came from , and I think yeah , I guess that's one of my regrets is being a crazy person , but those mistakes have now shaped me to be a better person today .
J.R.Yeah , I always have this stance of we talk about regrets , especially on the show , biggest regret , whatever , and I don't regret anything , everything turned out great or I wouldn't want to change anything and that's great .
J.R.But my stance is that it's okay and good to have regrets in the sense of not weighing you down , but because it should be a reminder to be a better person , to learn from your mistakes .
J.R.Because I would say , if you lean too much into the let's not regret anything , then what have you learned ? Right , but I don't want to say proudly , hang up my regrets , but I would say I know what my regrets are and I don't let it weigh me down , but I do know that it's always there and because it keeps me accountable to be a better person and not make those same mistakes . I
Q: What It's Like Being a Leader on a Team?
J.R.was going to ask just because , on that point so I know Alex and June , you guys were coordinators for the team and then obviously Ken has been a director for a couple of kids and we haven't been directors or coordinators on the team but how would you guys explain , or maybe contrast going in first year into now being in a leadership position , or even like an oldie , super oldie position ? How , like what is that ? Dynamic change or difference ? Anything stand out to you , guys .
JuneI think it's trying to figure out how you personally are as a leader , versus just mimicking what the previous leadership was before . But the reason I wanted to become a leader was that I could make some change , like just positive growth , but I was still stuck . I think there was like this weird switch for me where I is it regress or digress , I always get those .
J.R.Both Same time , but like .
JuneI think I regressed to the Filipino culture . I deserve respect , like you have to give me respect just because I'm in this leadership position , even though , like I have done nothing on my end to give you respect . And so it's hard because in the back of my mind when I interviewed , I'm like I'm going to do all these things and these things and I want to be this person , but then , once you're in that position , I don't know .
J.R.When the heat is on and the pressure's on .
JuneYeah , you just I don't know . I personally turned into this person that I'm just like where am I ? Who am I ? I have no idea what kind of person I am anymore . And so it's always hard when you're trying to make the hard decisions , because you're the person that's going to get blamed for someone's stuff . Right , everyone's not going to be happy , but you have to make the hard decisions for the whole of the team . And then you have to live with those hard feelings that you get because you want to please everyone and you think that you're doing things with good intention and what you can still be doing , but at the same time , like you want to make everyone happy and you just can't , and so it's having to live with that and be okay with that , but also again reflect on maybe you need to also do something about yourself not everyone's going to be happy what every that's the job of leadership is to make 100% of people happy .
Alex HungHonestly , it's actually a goal of mine to make someone upset .
Alex CristalNo one was even recording . We made everyone .
Alex HungI didn't even have to do the leadership position , I did it from the bottom . I think it's my duty to piss everyone off .
Alex CristalNo , I think I can attest to that . With June it's a very different . The dynamic is really tough , I think becoming a coordinator , especially my first year . I mean you all are on the team . It was tough to find that difference you're sucked .
Alex CristalIt was . It was really hard , man , because when you're not a in the leadership like position , it's very easy for people to talk to you as someone not in a position of power , right , like they can talk to you about everything , whatever they're feeling about . But when you become a person of again position of leadership , when they talk to you it's just very different , because now they're also thinking oh , this is my coordinator .
Alex CristalLike they're going to decide what , how , whatever I say to them , what decision is going to make for the team .
Alex CristalIt's just very tough , and what was june was saying too it's like you have to just suck it up and have to make people mad , which is very hard , especially with a team that , again , we're all doing this for , like non-pay everyone's willingly to give up their hours , their nights for work , like not working or studying to do this thing . Of course you want to make them happy because this is like their safe haven , their escape from everything else , and then you also make it stressful for them . It's hard to find the right balance and I don't think there is a correct balance or right balance to do that . But just being so delicately intuitive of the details of the decisions that you have to make for the team was surgically hard , and trying to do what was best and also be unbiased on how you felt about the person or the overall pulse for the team and what is best for the team or what's best for this person or the future or right now . It's like a juggling phenomenon that you had to just just go with it and just trust yourself .
J.R.But it's hard to trust yourself when you're what like 21 years old , leading 21 year old I was about to say I couldn't imagine leading a team like that , like in my early 20s . And some people are older than you and some people are better dancers than you , except for alex but because then it's like then you have to make those decisions and you're not sure about yourself .
J.R.I don't think I could do that even now being a director on my team like it's a little bit easier with more perspective , but they really don't treat me as a friend and more as like a director . But respect to you guys , because doing that your third , fourth year in college is I don't know how you would manage that yeah , it was hard man it was hard .
Alex CristalIt's like even just what dances to put in , right ? Oh man , I think my choreography is like great to be on the set .
J.R.Yeah , you never put my pieces in but then just things like that , like what's invented sex .
Alex CristalOh man , alex is of course he's gonna have a piece . He's the coordinator now , I know but if I feel like that is right , you just have to do it and that's what's best for the team . But also it just dawns on you like man , if I put my own piece in this , will people even want to dance it ? I don't know , and you just second guess , like when I'm teaching or I'm blocking . Do they even like me ? You know , yeah , kind of Because this is my piece .
Alex CristalI'm the coordinator now , and is this the right way to go about it ? Or do I just not put my own piece in to appease everyone else ? Would the mood be a lot better . But no it's . I feel like this competition set is best for this , but I don't think they can even be happy dancing with it , because dance is also a part of joy that we do . It's not just like a business thing where it's all transactional .
JuneLet's just give or take this stuff every decision was not black and white , even though most people carry it at face value . They don't understand how long it takes to come to a decision and we always weigh like the pros and cons and we never do just something impulsively . Everything is with intention . Even if it is hard decision on everyone else , it's still overall like what we thought was the best decision at the time and no matter what happens , it's your fault , right ?
Alex Cristalalways , yeah , always , yeah this is how leadership is it is always yeah I think I would say like being a common modern coordinator is probably the most rewarding , unrewarding experience . Yeah , like unrewarding in the sense of not getting that sort of good job . Thanks for being our cord I mean , yes , we got that , but of course everything is in such a like microscope that if one thing is off , you're gonna feel the heat and again being a leadership . You're not there for the praise , right ? You're not , you shouldn't . I don't think you should be .
Alex CristalDepends on what leadership position it is , but yeah , anything that does go wrong , you're at the top of the food chain , so it's going to be your fault , no matter what . So it's tough not to think like that . When things don't go perfectly , you're like dang , it's our fault , it's like my fault , even if everything in general , big picture wise , it's fine . But if one thing is wrong , and it's not even your fault or an intentional fault , it's still your responsibility .
Alex HungYeah , can I ask you guys , since you were in a leadership position
Q: Did Being a Leader Turn You Off to Leadership Later On?
Alex Hungpretty early in your adulthood , did it turn you away or turn you off to the idea of being a leader ? And when you started working , or were you more welcoming of it because you enjoyed it enough ? Because you did say there's pros and cons . Right , you enjoy it , but you don't enjoy it . And it is very true what you're saying . Even though I wasn't a court or anything on Kaba Modern , in day-to-day work , it's exactly the same thing if you're in a leadership position . So , yeah , how do you feel ?
JuneWhen I was in PT school had a like student PTA club and I knew I wanted to be in leadership again for the reasons of I want to be able to contribute , I want to be able to have these ideas . I don't want to just be throwing my ideas to someone else and seeing them try to execute them for me . So I want to be on that leadership board . But , knowing how I was before , I didn't want to be the top person . So I was like , let me try vice president and still be up there , but not be the person , because I didn't want that flock .
JuneBut I think if you're just even in a leadership position , it doesn't matter what title you have , because you still have equal parts voice . You're just in charge of a section that you're in charge of , right . So it's okay . I had responsibilities for this . But just because this person is , let's say , like treasurer or secretary , it doesn't make them any less important with their voice or with their opinions , as me , who's in the vice president position . So I really could have done anything . I'm just in charge of that section . So I feel like it kind of both , like it has helped me be a better leader . But also now I know my boundaries . Now I know myself , I'm a bit more understanding of what I can bring to the table , but also treat people with more kindness and respect and use again like my past experiences as a way to steer how I'm going to be doing whatever I'm doing now .
Alex HungSo it just helped you understand what kind of leader you want to be , and not so much that you don't want to be one at all anymore .
JuneYeah yeah .
JuneSo I don't think , like even as a PT , everyone's like , oh so when are you opening up your own practice ? And I'm like I am not ever doing that because it's a lot of work , it's a lot of , it's a lot of just management and there's so much responsibility and there's just all this other stuff that you have to take care of . But also , I just want to be able to do what I want to do well . I want to be able to treat people and do that well and not have to think about managing other people and having them do their job well . I just want to do what I'm doing well at this point , and if I can be the best person in my company , of that like if I level up to a way of tiers like PT1 , pt2 , pt3 , cool , if I can ever be like a PT3 , that's great .
JuneBut I don't think I could ever be the manager of all the PTs , because that's no longer where my strengths lie , because that's no longer where my strengths lie . My strengths lie in my skills that I can provide as a provider versus a manager , a leader of the PTs , if that makes sense . So if I were to go back to modern , I would want to be maybe like team captain rather than like coordinator . I would want to be the best dancer and be a role model for my teammates rather than okay , guys , guys , like we got to really hunker down and I have to be this disciplinarian , but that's just not me . Like I feel like that's what I've learned about myself yeah , I think the same with June .
Alex CristalOnce I got off of modern , I actually felt like man .
KanI don't want to do this like anymore .
Alex CristalThis was really hard . It did shut me off a little bit in terms of dance as a whole . I think after 2014 vibe , super old year I was like man dancing . I'm done with dancing , I don't want to . I don't want to dance anymore . Then I found culture shock .
Alex CristalBut culture shock really showed me , I think , that you can also be a leader without being in a role , and I think that's where I thrived , in Kind of the same what June was saying . I knew when I was on Culture Shock , like I didn't want to be a coordinator in terms of managing people . I just wanted to be again like , almost like , a team captain . I was never a team captain per se , but I played a role where , like , I led in different ways , just not in a way that I probably did with Kabba Modern . Not to say that I don't want to do that , but I knew that in that sense that the best , like Alex , for that like role in this team is to probably not be a coordinator or a director . Not to say that it was like it shunned me away from it , but I wanted to thrive in that role more than managing people . Yeah , so in terms of like dance . That's what happened With work .
Alex CristalIt's similar too . I work with HVAC and refrigeration Kind of what June was saying . Like people sometimes ask me hey , we're going to put up like your own business . Man , I don't want to put up my own business . It's a lot of work and a lot of people managing , even more than the skill itself . And I think , going back to what June was saying too , I want to be better at the skill first , or better at what I'm doing , and then maybe down the line it might happen , it might not , but in terms of being a leadership for people , that's a different skill that I could develop again or want to push more for , but not right now . There's just a lot to consider and a lot to put energy on , while I want to build up skills before that , if that makes sense you're like head of whatever you do , right ?
Junewhat is it that ?
J.R.you do you're a head .
Alex HungRight , I'm a head teacher h , I'm a head . You're the chief of HR right , currently chief of staff . Chief of staff .
J.R.there it is , you're the staff of chief head , so like do you ever take what you've experienced ? Experienced .
JuneWhoa Experienced , experienced .
J.R.Experienced .
JuneFrom KM to what you're doing now .
Alex HungThe short answer is not so much because I didn't have a leadership position in Cover Modern . I was like the , at least my older year . I was more of what you described as I didn't have a title . I was just leading through example . Yeah , I was putting out pieces . Role model .
Alex HungI was trying to be a good role model , so , but I learned things that I learned that you guys learned as chords later in life , when I started to become more of a leader , when I started managing people , and even every day . Now it's about trying to find a balance of things and not pissing people off too much . But still but it's hard . It's so hard because some people you just disagree with wholeheartedly , you just want to piss them off I see their face and I just want to make your day terrible
Alex Hungyeah , yeah . So I didn't actually get much from common modern for my career , but I that's why I wanted to ask you guys that question , because I just wonder if my career would have maybe turned out a little bit differently if I had that experience earlier in life . Did you want to be court for modern at one time ? Absolutely , I did . Yes , I did apply for it and I didn't get it .
Alex HungAnd in the beginning of all the year I was pretty bummed out , but I think once the year started I saw how relaxing it could be to just do my own thing .
JuneThis is way easier and I was like yeah , this is fine . This is cool Grass is greener .
Alex HungI did not see that year when you two took the reins , because by that time I was already out , so I don't really know what happened then . It's kind of rough , honestly . Yeah , I heard stories . I moved to Nor norcal by then , so I think I didn't even know what about you , ken ?
J.R.I know you were director for a couple kids later on in your life , not in college , right , you were in college I was , I directed copy kids .
KanAt the same time I was on modern . I think actually directing kids is much easier than directing adults because I think they're more open-minded personally and they're they absorb more of what you have to say and because , like you , are more of a like an adult's authority figure not just like their peer who's like younger than them sometimes yeah , they are much more receptive in my opinion , and that comes with trade-offs , because if you make a mistake , I feel like you feel it much more and I feel like when you're young , everything is so important .
KanIt's like different things become so much more impactful . If you , for example , if you like , shut down a kid's self-esteem , that could , like , really affect them their whole life and you never , ever want to be in a position to do that .
KanYou want to cultivate the best experience for them as you can . Sometimes it's hard because some , when you're young , like you , want to do a lot . You want to be like the star , you want to choreograph , you want to do all these things and we can only give so much opportunity and sometimes they need more , like training or something , and so balancing that was the difficult part . I would say it's like what , how can you do what's best for the team but also trying to do what's best for each individual person ? And you , of course , want everyone to leave your team happy and with as little regrets as possible .
KanBut , like I mentioned on my podcast , I think I made a lot of mistakes . For sure , there's a lot of things I could have done better , not just with the kids , but with my co-directors , and that's something I still think about how randomly I'm just like man . I should have went about this issue differently and if I could go back in time , I would do it . But life goes on and I try to remember those lessons in my life and I'm very grateful grateful especially for the parents who were so patient with us , because as I get older I'm thinking like , damn , like these parents like really trusted us our early 20s with their kids and really trusted us to really make them the best dancers or people they could be . I think for the most part we did pretty okay and I feel very proud when I see them move on to be successful in other parts of their lives , whether it's in dance , professionally or just as people , educationally or whatever .
KanSo my experience as a director was probably much , much difference , just right by the nature of the people , it seemed that you're , I was over , yeah , and so I definitely remember being a super , an oldie and a super oldie like I did not envy the position of courtship .
KanI got to see like firsthand , like how little or how much heat they would be under , and it's hard to watch because , transparently , I did not agree with everything they did , but I did understand everything they did and I think that was like really important for me to have empathy and like just to be supportive , because I think when you are not in a position of leadership but your peers are , it's very important to support them and to make them feel like they're doing a good job , because I think , all things considered , I do think they did a good job , especially within the circumstances that were given , and I do think they deserve more appreciation for that time that we were in .
KanBut , like hung said , not being a chord has its perks you get to . I always like the bench in the back left corner in the darkness , every time there's a chord meeting . I remember at least our super old year it was just me and saya as the super oldies and so we would look at the cords in their meeting and we could tell they're a little stressed and we'd be like it's nice to be over here .
J.R.I think that's crazy . I totally forgot the corners where it's like newbies , returners , oldies , super Oldies are like the cords . Yeah , oh , that's so . I wish I could go back and just like , observe , observe everything .
KanI think technically the bench we were at was traditionally the returner bench , but I liked it a lot . You're like super early privileges ? I abused my power a little . I was like you guys can have that one . Or you guys can pick a different one .
KanBut , me and Sire .
KanWe're keeping this one and I don't know if the other oldies felt similarly , but they were gracious enough to just share a smaller bench with us . But I definitely agree with what Alex said when he was on Culture Shock , where you don't have to be a director or have a title to be a leader . And so that's definitely what I tried to be as an oldie and a super oldie , because you want to make the job of your chords easier and so you want to lead by example . Like you want to be on time , you want to know your pieces . Like you don't want to ever air your grievances publicly during rehearsal , you want to talk with them privately and stuff like that . And so I think I had to . I felt very blessed and privileged that I think a lot of people showed me a lot of respect just because they've they liked me , and I think that's really nice . Like you don't have to justify your actions . But yeah , leadership is hard , it's very hard and it's very selfless I think , anyone who steps into a volunteer position for free .
KanYeah , they don't get paid and literally all they think about is the team they're running . I think that's the most selfless thing you can do and yeah , and I'm proud that I got to dance with them and be under their leadership and they made the experience really good I can walk away from modern being happy , and that's more than what you can ask for I have a question
Q: Similar Experiences with Working Towards a Purpose with a Group?
Kanfor everyone .
Alex HungSo we all killed ourselves in college to be part of this thing where we're trying to be world champions of dance , right , and whether we achieved it or not doesn't really matter . It was more of we're trying . We're all trying to do a thing and we all felt , of course , the difficulties of it , but also all the reward that comes out of it . Have you felt that way with anything else in your life since , the feeling of working super hard as a unit for a thing , maybe outside of dance , unless you went to another team ? Right , you did the same thing , right ? That's not really what I'm asking , because I think that will naturally happen if you're on another team and you're doing the same thing . But have has that experience ever carried over to another activity or another thing in ?
J.R.your life ? For me not really , because it was never . I've never done anything as intense , of course , like with the intensity of dancing and the commitment to it . So I feel like I've achieved things , and with groups of people , personally , but nothing that feels as intense because this environment was more intense .
KanI would agree that just because of the amount of ourselves we poured into dance , it's probably very difficult to replicate that . But I think for me I have a funny story . I went to an anime convention in San Jose and they have like video game tournaments there and my friends wanted to enter one for Valorant , which is like a shooting game and it requires five people , and they had four . And so they were like asking all our friends who would want to be there , fill in the fifth . And I , they asked me once and I was like no , it's okay , like I don't want to , I don't play that much . Like it's , you guys would probably find someone better . And so they asked everyone and they came back to me and then I felt like I should say yes , because if I don't say yes then they won't be able to participate .
KanAnd so I said yes and then we did it and it was like a really cool experience because it's like a very team-based game and these are some people I only met like that day , but we actually placed top four in that tournament it was really really fun , like obviously , like you can play games online , but doing it in person , sitting next to people you are working together with , and we were trying to come up with last-minute strats and stuff and we're trying to divvy up the roles and all that .
KanThat was definitely , I feel , like a core memory , even though that moment was so fleeting , and I felt like that's probably what it's like People who are really into sports , who like a league or a team or anything , that was a cool window . This is what it's like to compete again , even though our environment was pretty lax , still like people were very patient and gracious , even though there was like a disparity in skill level . But I had so much fun that tournament and it was like cool to experience like that feeling of camaraderie or coming together for a singular purpose .
Alex HungThat's cool , yeah that was cool for sure .
KanI thought it would be league , not valorant yeah , I don't think I could get top four in league ever , but valorant was fun .
Alex HungI definitely got carried , but it was really fun that's because not that we're maybe chasing that feeling , but it's interesting to think that that time has passed and it may not happen again with all this reminiscing we're doing , but I don't know when the next time I will feel that way , like how I felt after a competition getting off the stage that high . I don't know where that's going to come from again . That makes sense , yeah .
KanYour next dance team .
J.R.Yeah , or join the military , who knows ?
JuneI don't think I've been part of a group like this after modern , where I was part of a team and then I had to carry my own weight , like that , and we were working towards something and then we just created something . So , yeah , you're right , I don't know if that will ever happen again , at least for me , unless I join something , but I feel like individually , like running these half marathons I've been doing and like putting in the work myself and having the discipline to run these miles that I have no desire to do and then finishing the race . Why are you doing it then ?
Junesomeone's forcing you blink twice , if you're okay my best friend all of a sudden became very like into running and she's never been this type of person before , and so her goal was to do the LA Marathon . And so , in solidarity , I was like , okay , I'll train with you . But it turns out that bitch is fast , and so as I'm running with her , she's like smoking me and I'm like you know what ? At least you have company , and we haven't . Actually , we've only ran one race together and she's been doing a whole bunch of other races , but we're doing the SF half together next week and so I'm just being a good sport for her .
JuneYou're a great friend , that's great so , so , but yeah , it's just not my thing . But I feel like , in theory , as a physical therapist , I know how to run and I know all the things that will make me a good runner , but because there's zero passion , zero desire , zero no passion there's none , I'm just like it's hard to even get myself to do the things I know I should be doing , but I do it anyways , only because Alex forces me to do it . My Alex .
Alex HungThere's a lot of Alexes .
JuneYes , I think that's the closest I'll ever get to getting that type of reward . I finished that Disney half marathon in February and literally as I was crossing the line , tears were coming down my face and more tears . But it's like oh , I did it .
J.R.All right , first place , just take the trophy .
JuneJune , stop crying . But it's funny because I had my family , my other family members , like my nephew was running it , alex was running it and other people running it and they were already done an hour before me and they're like , yeah , I've been waiting here for a long time and I'm like I don't care , I did it , I'm with you . Now I'm past the finish line . Like to me that is such a big win . So it's not like it was a team effort , but like for myself , just creating that goal , sticking to that goal and finishing it was probably again like the closest I've been to victory with doing something on a dance team . Yeah .
JuneNice . Will I go running ? Will you be my buddy ?
J.R.I was going to say no , I want to do a marathon , just so I can ask June to join me and make her suffer . Oh God . Like I'm only doing this to make June suffer .
Alex HungI can't tell you how many times I've been asked in my 30s to run a marathon .
JuneIt's the thing you do now as a millennial in your 30s you just start running and you play golf , which now I'm also doing ah , let's golf , I'll golf yeah , let's go yeah , I've been wanting to golf more but I have no time .
Alex HungBut I would love to make time perfect , help me yeah I just have more of a comment that that feeling of accomplishment , it just it doesn't happen at work , doesn't it , of course , like it's so hard to find that same feeling at work , even though everyone's technically working toward the same thing . Yeah , and I think , if someone can figure out how to get everyone to feel that way at work , then you guys do like icebreakers or like team building activities it's .
Alex HungI think something has it has to do with money and how money is involved . That kind of distorts everyone's purpose for being there . And if there was a way to give people money and they're all excited to be there and they would be like , yeah , I don't even need to get paid and I'd be here .
J.R.If you could figure that out , you would have the best company in the world . Yeah , maybe join a startup or something , but no pay .
Alex HungYeah , hey , you want to join my startup , but also there's no pay .
J.R.Yeah , apparently that's where people get that rush . Yeah , startup and then the potential of selling it and whatever .
KanYeah , I think it's because with dance or like team-based stuff , you have something that unifies everyone , like dance or like a sport , but with work . What unifies everyone is- .
J.R.Money .
KanYeah , trying to survive , I love surviving .
Alex Cristalyeah , it's expensive though , enjoying non-profit maybe . Yeah , you know , there's a common goal for something the hung loves profit I do love profit . I know you're just talking about venture capitalists you can do some volunteer work on your own and not have work be the thing that gives you fulfillment .
JuneIn that way , you can just have an extracurricular for yourself .
Alex HungGolf .
Alex CristalRunning . Running . Going off of that question , Hung , I did . I think Kat can attest to this too . But that feeling of rush for sure culture shock . Our last show , my last show , was immersive and it was like like movie set slash , a week's slash production of the show . But we did this show like eight times , so that rush was like it just kept going and that was like the time that I felt that very similarly of how I felt on kaba modern . So , yeah , not like it was still in the dance form .
JuneThat was very similar to how I felt with you guys join another dance team , my bones , my knees create a goal for yourself and something that feels almost impossible , and then create a plan to just meet small milestones and all of a sudden , you have achieved all of these victories towards your big goal I was gonna say about your knees .
KanI heard a quote that if you can run , your knees are fine . So you know , if you want to improve the health of your knees , I heard someone in our group is if you want to improve the health of your knees . I heard someone in our group is trying to find a running buddy .
JuneI got another run coming up in February .
J.R.I've always fantasized about being like a long distance runner , but I'm like , okay , not yet . I'll know when it's when the time's right .
JuneThe time is never right . Just do it , JR After this moment , it's tomorrow , it's tomorrow .
J.R.It's tomorrow .
Alex CristalIt's tomorrow , it's tomorrow , it's tomorrow .
J.R.No , I know there will be a period in time . I'm pretty confident that I'll get into it Mark my words but it's just not right now . But I've always fantasized about running . Why not now , just a little bit of time ? I have stuff that I have committed to , so I don't like , because when I commit to something I just do it Like I get a summer bowling pass . I'm going every day . Dude , this guy's so alert .
Alex HungYou got a summer bowling pass yeah .
J.R.I go every day . So that's why I make commitments very like rarely because I fully commit to them . Like this podcast , like 50 episodes , 20 , 25 , I'm doing it Like I have a few more episodes left . So that's the only reason why I don't like to guys man running is not for me , yeah , I do not like running , it's not for me I'll play pickleball .
KanI'll do any other cardio yeah , yeah you want to join ? A dance team , wait yeah there's a team called culture shock . You should join . I think you do really well .
J.R.Yeah , you want that feeling of over on your court oh yeah , either two questions . One is going to be what is something that you have wondered about someone else in this room that you've never asked ? Or maybe you have , I don't know , I'm just curious . Or two , what are your aspirations for the next 15 years ? If you were to fast for 15 years , here's your goals that's a loaded
Q: Biggest Insecurities?
J.R.question all right , jr , this is for you .
Alex CristalThen what's your biggest insecurity , biggest insecurity ? So I feel like you do so much inner work , you read so many books , you talk to so many people , but about you , what is like something that you still are working at and it's hard for you to get over that hump . You know what I mean ? I don't know , because obviously you do so much work on yourself . I feel like you're very in tune with who you are , but what is something that you feel like is still an insecurity ?
J.R.Yeah , are , but what is something that you feel like it's still an insecurity ? Yeah , I would say , just honestly and vulnerably , I feel like I am I don't say not good enough , but I want to say that like I'm never good looking enough , especially like in the age of social media , where it's that's what's put on a pedestal is your aesthetics being surrounded in the k-pop cover community , where aesthetics , dressing up , makeup is all the thing and that's the things I don't like , because I'm surrounded by that all the time . It's this is what your value is as a person , is how you look , and that's why I've been slowly trying to wean off social media , cause I don't like the feeling of I don't want to say depression , but like the feeling of having to be compared by a value that I don't care about , and so I think that's what's been informing me to not want to be on social media and really focus on what I care about . And also , being in the space of K-pop cover dancing , I made a commitment to be the longest person in this team , so I'm going to do it , but I don't know how I'm going to survive this next , my last year this year , because I don't like being in that environment , like I love my friends and my team and all that stuff , but just the nature of what we do and what we prioritize .
J.R.What they prioritize is looking good , dancing with beautiful K-pop idols , and I'm like I could give like a crap about these idols . I don't care that they're good looking or that they're okay dancers , and so being in that space for this long I'm like I don't like how this makes me feel . But other than that , that's the biggest thing . Are you committed ? I committed , so I have to stay in this environment , but I'm open about not liking being here , but I'm also a leader , so I don't want to make that show too much and be like , yeah , I'm only here to help you guys out , but I really hate being here . It's not like that exactly , but that's what it feels like . It's like I don't feel like I belong here anymore , but you know how long have you been doing this ?
J.R.So when I finish this upcoming year , it'll be 7.8 years , and I've been a director , for this is going to be my fourth year , so I'm definitely feeling burnt out as a leader and not being appreciated .
J.R.And we've changed the team so much Like from when I joined six and a half years ago . It was it's like night and day of the culture , and that's what I've always wanted was a team that feels welcoming , kind of like , not the opposite of modern , but there's no hierarchy . Everyone feels like heard and seen and stuff that I've learned in my adult life will make us a good performing team , and so I wanted to implement that there and we've done a great job that now it almost feels like there's this entitlement of oh , this is how it is , it's so good , but I'm like . But we put in so much work to make it good , and then they don't see that , and that's also not their fault for not being able to see how bad I was before they joined the team , but for me I'm like okay , no one appreciates this . So let me just write out my last year and then move on .
JuneWe're going to move on too .
J.R.Running .
JuneYes .
J.R.Running , bowling , this podcast , relationship coaching . I have a huge list , but anyways , back to you guys , Things you wanted to know about each other . Thanks for the question , alex .
Q: 15-Year Aspirations?
JuneOf course man thanks for the question alex , of course , man , what questions you had about other people here ?
J.R.or where do you envision yourself in 15 years ? I'm curious as to what hung wants to do in 15 years . Volunteered , he wants to be the first billionaire from modern ?
Juneno , like what . What are you ? Do you have any goals right now that you're working towards ?
Alex Hungthe only goal that I am mostly focused on right now is I need a bigger house , and I'm doing everything I can to afford a bigger house . It doesn't have to be a mansion , it doesn't have to be super nice or anything like that . Why do you want a bigger ?
Alex Cristalhouse , oh yeah .
Alex HungWell , I have a two-bedroom townhouse and I work from home , so every room is occupied .
Alex HungRight , you have a bedroom , you have an office , and my girlfriend moved in earlier this year , so now we share that space , and so , if I don't know if I want to start a family I've been going back and forth about that but if I did , I absolutely would need at least one other room , preferably two more , so and a three car garage .
Alex HungIt's got to put the gym in the garage or something , and then you have two of my cars and she could park on the driveway . Yeah , so right now it sounds like I'm just working toward a thing to have a thing , but I think it's the sense of stability that I'm looking for , of I don't want to have to worry about not having enough room for the people that I want to have in my life or the things that I need in my life , and right now it's a little . I'm already playing this game where I feel like I don't have enough space for the things that I want , and especially if I have a kid or something , then there absolutely is not enough space for their things and the things that I need to support them for .
J.R.So teach your kids to be minimalist . Like here you get one blanket , one toy , one toy . But I have three cars .
JuneBut dad has three cars and a gym and a garage .
Alex HungBut I just do want to say going with that , I think back when I was younger I felt like there's something that I had to prove to other people and I had to have , maybe , nice things or I have to dress a certain way . And I think as I've gotten older , for some reason it's gone away a little bit . Obviously it's not going to go away completely , because you still have to care about how you look to some degree and you still have to care about how you come off . But those luxury items you're starting to see how they're less and less important compared to other things like your relationships and things like stability , just being able to live comfortably . And yeah , maybe focus more on your happiness versus because the tangible things give you temporary happiness but not long-term happiness .
Alex HungSo , like my long-term happiness is living close to a 99 ranch in a park . There you go , and having enough space in my house for the things that I want , and so hopefully I could get to that and just I guess , going off of that , recently a friend of mine pretty much purchased their forever home and they have a family with two kids and I kind of wonder , like once I get there cause they just got there and I asked them the same question what now ? What are you working toward now other than okay , I just want to make sure that my family is taken care of . But I think at that point you're not thinking about oh , do I want the next biggest house ? Maybe , maybe when we get there we're going to want . It's like when you buy your dream car , you have another dream car right because you're gonna get your lambo in 15 like less than 15 yeah , yeah , less than 15 13 , 13 and a half , yeah , but uh , right now , that's all I'm focused on .
Alex HungI don't know how I'm gonna get there . I don't think that I need like 20 million dollars in order to achieve what I need , but , at the same time , money is just tough for everybody , and and so I'm just trying my best .
Alex CristalWould you be open to moving ?
Alex Hungout of cost of living . I am so adamant that I can make it . That's absolutely an option and everyone has that option . But something about me is just I'm stubborn that I can make it and be in the place that I want to live . I don't want to have to sacrifice it . And if it came down to it where I really had to make a choice , then I think I'll take it into consideration . But at this , point .
JuneI want to make it my goal that I'm going to be able to afford where I want to live . Yeah , I relate to that because I'm not willing to sacrifice the location of where I want to live because it's convenient . It feels like it's close to my work . I don't really want to spend a lot of time commuting , and so all these things that take up time . Time is valuable . I want to make sure that I'm living with a lot of comfort and if I'm not working towards the next best thing , then at least I'm living within my means of . How can I make my now the best Right ? So , yeah , cool .
Alex HungWhat's your goal in 15 years ?
JuneKind of the same , like bigger space . I envision that I have , hopefully , a family of one , two , three , five . I don't know . We'll see how many I can afford Wow .
J.R.The number kept going up .
JuneHow many I can afford . As of right now , I cannot afford a single .
Alex HungSo big family , yeah , as big as possible .
JuneAs big as I can afford honestly , which is zero right now . But yeah , that's what I'm working towards and hopefully still on the West side , because that's home to me , and staying stable with my job , and I don't know if I'm going to be doing all these other side hustles as much when I have a family , but at least right now that's what I'm doing to supplement my needs . And yeah , the hustle is hard to just get your monetary , financial needs met . But as of right now , since we are childless , it's a little bit easier to grind a little bit more . But 15 years , what year ? Even is that 2040 ? Yeah .
JuneYeah , that seems like such a long ways away . But 15 years ago , right , we were just in college . I couldn't even back then . I don't think I can imagine myself being where I am right now , 15 years from that point , and so we'll see . It's hard to say .
J.R.Just got a UGC house .
JuneUGC house , a whole house .
Alex HungThey could just give you a house .
JuneA whole house Like I'll promote you this house . I know some people who've done UGC for cars but they've had to give the car back . They've had it for a couple of weeks .
Alex HungOh , a couple of weeks . I thought you were going to say years . No , a couple of years .
JuneBut they've done it multiple , multiple times , like no one's giving me a car to just have and take videos .
J.R.You know what I mean , so it's like you can still make it work that way too .
KanI don't know if I don't know how social media is going to be in 15 years from now . Whatever you can , I think it's hard to say what life will be like in 15 years . But I mean , like the checklist goals is like to be um happy at whatever job I'm at , to have a house , hopefully single family , to have traveled to a couple places , a couple japan's twice north japan , south japan to live somewhere not in socal for a little bit or something like that .
KanI don't know if I have like really super duper concrete goals besides , like the typical ones , indicators of like financial securement or success , but I hope to .
KanI think one of the most important things I want to do is hopefully , in 15 years to still maintain a lot of the relationships that are important to me and still to keep connections with the people who are close to me and who have been a big part of my life , and so , yeah , I think something like that is really what I want to prioritize , outside of saving up for a house and being able to live comfortably and stuff like that .
J.R.Us three are like you guys are like oh , we want a bigger house and we're like you guys have houses . What's that ? What's a ? House .
KanI just have a room .
J.R.You have a room . You have a room . What's a living ? What is ?
Junethat okay . Well , you have friends . You have friends . What's a friend ?
Alex Cristalno , I kind of same thing what y'all are talking about financial security , right . I think the biggest thing is honestly just to be healthy 15 years like it's a great one if you're not healthy , it's obviously as we get older .
Alex CristalIt's very tough to see . I think our I don't know my family members just get more frail , more fragile , and so I'm like man by the time I'm 45 or 50 or 60 . I still want to be physically able to do so many things , and I think that kind of clicked to me too when my brother , marco , has two kids . I have two nephews . One is about to be three , the other one just turned one , and when they're like 12 , 15 in high school , I still want to ball them up . Yeah , let's go .
Alex CristalIf they ever take dance classes . I'm like dude , I'm still like that guy .
JuneI can still . Let's do some rounds . It's battle right now . Like I still want to like , I don't , I don't like hanging out with uncle alex , he always wants a battle .
J.R.He beats me . He won't let me win at anything .
Alex CristalBasketball dance mario kart no , I just like yeah , those things , I just want to be physically be able to do a lot of the things I want to do , because I think part of my whole life has been such physically centric , right , basketball , dance even being a hvac technician I don't like , I'm not in the field as much , but those things I really take a lot of value for , right , it's like oh man I can still take a dance class or I can , if I ever get into running like , I still maybe want to run like when I'm , when we're 60 or something , I don't know right
Alex Cristalthose things are very important to me . So , honestly , if I'm healthy , if I still have like a stable job like what Ken said have great connections with people , that's like the foundation that I want to set for the next 15 years , obviously I travel and have financial success and be able to live the way that you want to live in the place that you want to live in . I obviously want to live in California . California is undefeated with people that you're , with the weather , the food , it's like unmatched to anywhere else that I feel like I have been . So props to you , hung on wanting to make it work here , because this is the place , man , like we can go to disneyland , we can go to the beach , we can go to the club , we can go wherever we want to in california and the weather is still like 75 yeah , you know like it's great .
Alex CristalSo I want to stay here and make it work like how you said , but again have my health mental , emotional , spiritual like top tier .
JuneI have faith that everyone in this group is going to be able to live where they want to live
Q: How Do You Keep Your Friendships Alive?
Junequestion do you guys still keep in touch very closely with people either from common , modern or culture shock and we've grown apart purely because of out of sight , out of mind ? But like , how do you keep those friendships alive ? Do you reach out ? Do you guys always , are constantly , reaching out ? What is that ? What does keeping a friendship alive look like ?
J.R.I just invite them on my podcast . Is that the ?
Alex Hunganswer that's actually a great way to do it . Yeah , so I need to start my own podcast so this is now how we will meet again I think what is key is that we all are still in proximity to each other .
Alex CristalObviously it was like tough to really keep in touch with you when you like moved , but now , since you're here , I've been seeing , we've been seeing you way more so now I think randomly at disneyland yeah , oh my gosh , I saw right now oh my god , we're on matterhorn line
Alex Cristalreally , and I was just like on my phone and I heard june , hey , I was like hey , hey , hey , alex , alex , alex , alex yeah , she saw me in line because I just go by myself , right , but she was with alex too that was great but , yeah , just being in proximity with each other , I think it really helps .
Alex CristalSo , trying to stay in touch , obviously me and can have been way more like see each other with like rehearsals and culture , shock Sia too . Really keep in touch with Sia , yeah , it's honestly like an effort because I think what I said before too when you become so involved with your career , weeks go by so fast and your schedule is so packed where , like , you work in the morning until night and then night you have to cook or clean and then get back to messages and then you fall asleep and then it's just like a repeat thing and then maybe you might see them one weekend , maybe you might see them for a birthday thing . But yeah , it's just those small little efforts of even when june you reached out like hey , I have something wrong with my house . Even that kind of connection is it's still great to hear or listen to , or even hung I haven't gone back to your instagram message , but hung sent me like a post on disneyland about there's going to be a new app for single riders , only for people dating yeah , like a disney disneyland .
Alex HungYeah , you're single . Yeah , hung was like I thought of you , because you just love disneyland so much , so so even you want to enjoy it with someone else .
Alex CristalEven you just thinking about me and like sending that to me is like still keeping that connection . So those small things are just huge , or me , and can talk about video games and movies yeah , I mean , do you always talk about movies too ? It's like those small things that you like . Oh , yeah , I think about this person when I do this , like I should send him a message , I should send him a text , or if it's something that is , you know , playful , or something that might be serious about a house , or whatever financial , whatever it is right , I think it just takes those small things to keep those connections , at least the foundationally uplifted and not fade away as much as we don't want it to be .
Alex HungSo , going off of that , do you feel like maybe this is obvious , but has everyone had less and less connections with people over the years , or has it actually grown With the older connections ? More like keeping up with your connections ? Obviously you're going to know more and more people as you age , but then it's keeping up with those people that's tough , and for me at least , I'd say , starting this year especially , I have not done a great job keeping up with a lot of my friends , and so I still try my best , but it has narrowed quite a bit just because the available time that I have .
KanYeah , it's been tough , so I just want to get you guys as well I think it really depends , but something I've grown to accept is that if you want to maintain a connection , you have to be okay with reaching out and it's you don't take it like personally if people don't reach out to you because , like like you said , people are busy with their own lives and sometimes they have concerns of their own or whatever , and so just because they don't reach out to you doesn't mean they don't care . So I think , generally I try to reach out to people when I have the bandwidth or , alternatively , if there's some type of celebration , like a birthday or anything like that , that I know a lot of people are going to go to , then I'll make the extra effort or make the sacrifices to be there , because that'll be a good time to reconnect with everyone and catch up , even if it's for a little bit , and so so do you feel like you've been able to keep up with ?
KanI would say in general yeah , it's not like we hang out like every week or anything , but if weeks go by or months go by and we see each other , it's not like it doesn't feel like it's been a long time . It still feels the same . The relationship , the quality is still the same , and that's something I really appreciate is that if I don't see someone for like however long and then we see them again , then catching up is always nice and it feels good and it feels I remember that at some point in my life , like this person was very big , like played a very big role or something like that , and so , especially if the celebrations get smaller , like they become more selective or whatever , I know that this is like a relationship that I should take extra care to maintain . Or I should remember that this person like really thought of me to invite me to this event , this like small event or something like that , and so it really puts into perspective , like when people really make the time for you , like you should never take that for granted .
JuneI think , naturally , not being part of an organized group and not being around a lot of these people , I'm not as connected to a lot of people and I feel like the most connected I've been is with our class amongst people from Modern . Jr keeps bringing up the fact that I have all these life events . Right , but it's really true , like these life events are so important to me that I want the closest people that I want present there , and that happens to be you guys , and it makes me feel like my life is like really full . So it's nice to be able to go back to like legacy rehearsal and see people and catch up . I mean , that's how I stay at least like still there . But yeah , it really is like an effort to keep in contact with people .
JuneBut that also feels like I I'm introverted , very much introverted , and it's exhausting . It's exhausting to have a large group of people that you have to keep tabs on , which is why I like social media as a way to just see rather than to compare . At this point in life it's just more so . Okay , let's just check up on them and just see what they're about . But I've come , I've made peace with the fact that I'm not very close with a lot of people , but I have a lot of good quality friends .
JuneI know that I can turn to for whatever reason . And then it's nice having that network of people who are so unique , like all of us have different value and different skills and different things I can come to you guys for , and like we share different experiences and we have different bonds and different conversations , and that I can hang out with each of you individually and not feel like I need a group setting to make it feel comfortable , and so that's what I really value . And it's hard for me to find other people like that because we weren't we're not working towards a common ground in a way . When I was living in New York and I was living by myself in New York for a while when I was doing my rotation I tried Bumble BFF have you guys ever
J.R.heard of that .
Alex HungI've heard of it .
JuneIt's just , it's like it's Bumble , but you just look for friends , and so I was just making friends here and there with all these other girls and I've made some pretty decent friends through that app . It's never the same type of like connection . Maybe one of them just because , like you know , sometimes you just click with a person , but I feel like when you're also put in a situation where you're both working towards something that really does bond you , and so I just haven't felt that with other people in this way , and so I have really good friends , but I have a really great core group of people that I don't need more friends .
Alex HungNo new friends Makes sense . I just this is just a quick comment Recently , since we were in Denver for a work trip , my CEO did say something to the leadership team when we were there and he's like post-college I don't interact with anybody unless we're working together to make money in some capacity . The other situation in which I'd be hanging out with you is because our kids are playing together . But no , I'm not going to hang out with you because our kids play together , and so I feel like that's a very polarizing thought . You literally don't interact with any . You don't make any new friends post-college and you only keep your old college friends and that's it for the rest of time .
Alex HungBecause for him , he has four kids and all of his extra time outside of work is just dedicated to his kids and whatever they need . So that's his thought and I just I don't really have an opinion about it , but it is a interesting thought that he shared . I don't really have an opinion about it , but it is a interesting thought that he shared . I don't think you guys probably share the same exact thing . It's just interesting how things change .
J.R.It's funny because I was thinking about this recently that with what I have in mind for my ambitions for the next however many years , I do want to do certain projects or start certain businesses or endeavors .
J.R.And now that I'm going through my networks and with this podcast , it opens my eyes of the type of people who I'm connected with . Now I'm like I have this desire to bring people in on some of these projects who would want to be there to not only leverage their skill sets and their own passions and desires , but also so I can spend time with them , because I fundamentally will like them as a person , but now I'm choosing to be with them and if they want to do it as well . So that's kind of like my next goal is to now use those relationships to the next level of finding that purpose and doing something specific that we both want . So I was thinking about that recently . Not the same , obviously , sentiment of no new friends , but but using your existing friends or people who you do meet in a way where you can now enhance the relationship Ideally doesn't go sour . We asked think about that recently .
J.R.Like the quality , not quantity yeah and then aligning it to a purpose , kind of like what we had for modern . Okay , so , as we're wrapping up , I want to ask
Q: Message to Our Future Selves?
J.R.for the final question before gratitude . I want this to be like a sort of time capsule . So if you had to give your older self advice or a statement or something right , you're talking to your future self . However many in the future we'll see this and see what you say to them what would you say ?
Alex HungThis is probably different from what we said on our own podcast Could be , I can go first To my future self . I hope that you've matured in a way where you understand people even better and that you're able to communicate with different types of people better , and tied with that is the sense of patience .
J.R.So to have more patience , maybe with yourself and with others around you , so good luck we don't have to go in order . Go ahead , kim , he's like . I hope you enjoy Japan and your new citizenship and your new house in Japan .
KanI think I would just hope that my future self is happy and that they continue to try new things , explore new passions and just keeps having fun and , hopefully , is happy . That's really the most important thing . I hope that the steps I take to get to that future self are important to like my growth and improving the quality of my life and the quality of life of those around me . And , yeah , I hope you're a good partner , I hope you're a good friend and I hope you're a good friend and I hope you still care about people .
J.R.This is the good timeline where Ken's still a hero and not a villain .
Alex CristalA dear future self . I hope that you have slayed all the insecurities or demons and dragons that you feel like that you're still going through , that you have been through and that you are happy and healthy in whatever part you are in life and that you can look back and be proud of who you are and the person that you have become Quiet snaps .
JuneCan I just say ditto for everything .
J.R.Boo , okay , just a single tear .
JuneDear future self . I hope that , wherever you are in life , that you are proud of yourself and that there was never a wrong decision , and if you are looking back at 15 years and have more greats than goods , than just okays than bads , that you are winning and it doesn't matter if it's not perfect , but I hope that you've tried to do whatever it is that you've set out to do .
J.R.Beautiful .
JuneNice yeah .
J.R.Yeah , I would tell my future self I am proud of you . You did everything you wanted , because you commit the shit out of everything . Yeah , because even if no one else tells you they're proud of you . Like , I'm proud of you because I know you did it , regardless of what actually happened . I know that you committed and you did it . So yeah that and spend time with your kids . Just don't stop doing that . Oh , you're gonna have kids , yeah , yeah .
Alex HungYeah , we talked about this , yes , in your episode all right , thank you , guys .
J.R.I would end with gratitude . Whatever you're grateful for , we're here for each other . You guys are grateful for me . Whatever that's , we get it um , but yeah , we're over time yeah , thank you , I'm proud of you , thank you .
J.R.Thank you everyone for this amazing conversation oh , I know , hopefully we get to do it again . I do appreciate you guys taking the time out to be here . We're all busy adults three months out . We did this , but I hope that this can be something , a conversation that we can look back on and it's recorded for forever now . So I hope you guys had as much fun as I did , because I thought it was . It's always nice to catch up with you guys . I appreciate you guys so deeply love you guys .
J.R.All right , let me sign off the audience before solomon shuts us down . So thank you guys for being here . I hope you appreciate this special episode . Extra long episode . Just a reminder to always be kind to sorry . Subscribe , yeah , like subscribe , follow whatever smash that like smash , that like button leave us love in the comments , especially my dear class . Tell them what you like about them . Yeah , follow us . Leave me five-star reviews . I think I should start asking for that , do it ? Turn on notifications .
J.R.Turn on notifications , whatever you want to do , but a reminder to always be kind to other people , especially yourself , and remember that you can always learn something from someone if you take the time to listen . So thanks for being here .
KanThank you . Thank you .
