#49: Justin Tran - Maid Cafes, Navigating Unhealthy Relationship Patterns, and Pushing the Boundaries of High Fashion

We explore the remarkable journey of self-discovery with Justin Tran, a fitness enthusiast, high fashion devotee, and Maid Cafe performer who shares his evolution from childhood trauma to emotional intelligence and self-acceptance.

• Justin's path from spite-driven transformation to genuine self-discovery
• Growing up in Oakland and experiencing racism that shaped early motivation
• Unhealthy relationship patterns, including codependency
• How therapy revealed PTSD from childhood experiences
• Learning emotional awareness and breaking reactive behavior patterns
• The importance of building a foundation of self-love before entering relationships
• Japanese fashion as an expression of individuality and breaking cultural norms
• Justin's unexpected journey into Maid Cafe and Butler Cafe performances
• Finding the right people who support your authentic self
• Embracing femininity as a way to expand masculinity and become multidimensional
• Investing in yourself and your happiness is essential for wellbeing

Guest bio:
As a self-proclaimed “just a regular dude”, beneath his humble exterior lies a man of dedication, persistence, compassion, self-awareness, and the desire to constantly improve his emotional intelligence. Above all else, he seeks peace within himself and connection with those who feel like home.

• Instagram: @justntran_ / https://www.instagram.com/justntran_/

Links/resources:

• OTG #13: Ryan Tern - Fitness Tips, the Importance of Coaching, and the Power of Gratitude
• Planet B-Boy (2007) (documentary - Wikipedia)
• 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think (audiobook - Amazon affiliate link)
• Asayoru Maid Cafe (Instagram)
• Frieren (manga/anime - wikipedia)

Transcript

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J.R. 0:00

Hello my wonderful listeners and welcome back to another fun episode of 1000 Gurus with me , your host , JR Yonacruz . Today's guest is Justin Tran . Justin is a self-proclaimed just a regular dude , but beneath his humble exterior lies a man of dedication , persistence , compassion , self-awareness and the desire to constantly improve his emotional intelligence . Above all else , he seeks peace within himself and connection with those who feel like home . So I was excited to have Justin on the show for a reason I get into it in the episode , which is some of the conversations that we've had were actually core inspirations for this podcast .

J.R. 0:31

We're friends , but we're barely more than acquaintances , to be honest , because we've spent so little time together . We've only really hung out two or three times in person at parties , but we've had such good conversations that were very deep and vulnerable and I barely knew him at the time , but regardless , it was nice because he's also a fellow fitness enthusiast . He's also into Japanese culture , like anime and maid cafes , and he's really big into fashion , or specifically high fashion , and the meat of what we talk about is relationships , trauma therapy , PTSD , unhealthy patterns , self-love and surrounding yourself with the right people . It was a very wide-ranging conversation and very vulnerable , so hopefully you guys enjoy it . So , without further ado , hope you enjoy this episode with

Interview Start

J.R. 1:14

Justin Tran . Hello everyone and welcome back to 1000 Gurus . Please welcome my guest , Justin .

Justin 1:19

What's up ? It's your boy , justin Tran .

J.R. 1:24

Thanks for being here , justin , I really appreciate it . Thank you for having me . Yeah , I've been wanting to have you on the show for a little bit , so I'm glad you made it out . I know it's kind of hot today because driving here you said there was a couple fires . Yeah , you probably started it because you're so hot , so shame on you . Let me go into how I know you .

J.R. 1:46

So we met through our mutual friend , dan , and we've both danced on choreos , but separately , and we only hung out like a couple times at various parties a couple times at your place and once at genesis's place . But what ? The reason why I wanted you on the show is because I felt like those few times we had such deep , profound , long conversations and it was one of those things where , if I look at the inspiration for this show , it's conversations like those that were like I wish these were recorded because they're so good . I tell the story a lot , but if I ever bring up justin in a conversation , I'm like , oh , yeah , one time he walked in and then like within two seconds I was like , hey , let's talk about trauma . And then we just went into it for an hour and a half like zero to 60 , which is not a normal thing to do with people that you just meet or acquaintances , but I thought it was really .

J.R. 2:26

It was fun , enjoyable and very profound to me . So , yeah , I think that's what stood out about you to me is that you're very thoughtful , reflective , you are big into fitness , cosplay , fashion and actually you referred me to my former fitness coach , ryan , who was episode number 13 . And we worked together for over two years as my fitness coach , ryan , who was episode number 13 , and we worked together for over two years as my fitness coach , and I see your posts about traveling , photo shoots and , yeah , just wanted to invite you to connect with you and talk about some of these things , thank you . Thank you for having me any clarifications or anything else that you're up to what I've been up to .

Justin 3:00

So I finished Anime Expo . So I been up to , so I finished anime expo , so I wouldn't call myself a cosplayer .

J.R. 3:07

I guess like a casual cosplayer for fun .

Justin 3:10

Okay , because there are people out there who've done ?

J.R. 3:12

crazy . I see it's like there's levels and there's tears .

Justin 3:14

Yeah , I one of the days , or what I'm known for is toji fushiguro from jjk .

J.R. 3:19

Yeah they based that character off you yeah , yeah , definitely without a doubt .

Justin 3:24

Yeah , but I say a casual costume because I literally put on a compression shirt . A lot of pants were made by my girlfriend's mom and I just had my hair and my girlfriend did my makeup and the only thing I was wearing is my own skin . So I just walked around and it was like , oh my god , buff as hell I'm like thank you right now . There is another convention in january that is anime la , and I am cosplaying a different buff character would you like to reveal it or is the secret until ?

Justin 3:55

then it's a secret until then .

J.R. 3:56

Okay , cool , we'll look forward to that okay , so I want to start off first with your photos . So we'll go into these four different photos , your before and afters . We'll see for the video people you can see which ones are before and afters . So photo number one . Photo number two so where ? Are these the same person . Photo number three who's this character ?

Justin 4:19

this is me . I'll be from zelda zone zero .

J.R. 4:21

I just did a gender bent oh dope , I don't want to wear a wig , so this is my hair , it's all good .

Justin 4:25

And then number four . That's why I basically dress every single day when I go out .

J.R. 4:29

Yeah , no , for real . That's what it seems like

Explaining Justin's Glow Up & His Fashion Style

J.R. 4:32

. The question was how did you go from that to that , Like the first couple to the second couple ?

Justin 4:49

But I think we , but do you have any thoughts on a tldr of that journey , like how did you go from high school , justin ?

Justin 4:52

to current justin . I think the biggest thing for me was to look like an anime character . And here I am . I dressed up as toji , yeah , and I look like every generic buff dude with straight hair , but if you want to be a bit more deep , a lot of it comes from , honestly like spite , because growing up , just like I grew up in a place where there wasn't a lot of asian people , so a lot of experience , racism , childhood , like being called the c word , the g word , and it's just I don't feel like I belong anywhere . And being in college where you meet many more people , there's people who come up to you like you look good for an asian .

J.R. 5:28

I'm like huh so is that a compliment ? I don't know it's .

Justin 5:33

It's ridiculous . So a lot of it honestly is spite , but it got to the healthy point of my life . I'm like I want to look like an anime character . So it began as a becoming an anime character and then experiencing a lot of passive racism and then overcoming that and screw it all . I'll go back be anime character . I like it cool .

J.R. 5:56

All right , we have a couple of intro questions . So first one is if you check out Justin's IG and we'll link everything here is I would say I would describe it if you're audio . Only it's like it looks like a fashion catalog if I were to open it up and I don't know how to describe the style , but it's very like the fourth photo , like all black , sometimes leather , sometimes just other textures . It's almost like goth . But I'm uninformed and I'm like ignorant . So like , how would you describe your style ?

Justin 6:25

It's hard to say because I don't think there is a name for my style . I think a generic label would be high fashion , high fashion like Yoji Yamamoto .

Justin 6:34

Ando Milmister , rick Owens . So a lot of my styling is just shapes and textures . Goth , I think , is a little bit in a different category and I don't really put myself in that position . So I guess people would be like , oh , this guy's like the dark version of jojo , bizarre anime , or the stand user . So I don't think I don't have a title or a label for myself other than just like high fashion okay , so high fashion in black and black .

J.R. 7:03

So obviously the aesthetic again , if you're looking at the page , you'll get what I'm trying to describe , but it's yeah high fashion .

Justin 7:10

Very intricate textures , patterns like layered clothing a lot of comments when like random people on the street . So you look like a wizard , you look like someone from , like a sith lord from star wars I guess because it's like very all black , but then very drapey a little intimidating . I promise you I'm not intimidating , I'm pretty goofy , pretty weird . So don't let my social , yeah , intimidate you like it .

J.R. 7:34

Okay , correct me if I'm wrong .

Japanese Culture, Fashion & Standing Out

J.R. 7:36

It seems like you are a fan of japanese culture . I think you've traveled there at least a couple of times . Could you explain what I mean ? You already mentioned anime and then high fashion . Is there anything in particular that draws you to Japanese culture ?

Justin 7:49

To be honest , actually no , no Fashion . The fashion in Japan is so different than the fashion in America . I think , being in Japan , everyone is so open-minded and sensitive in terms of just like the awareness of how people dress People . In America , the way I see it , people are very comfortable and people are afraid to go against the status quo . People want to blend in so they don't stand out too much . But in Japan people want to stand out . It's crazy because people people , if they want to get their mail , they dress up , they put on makeup just to get mail . But you know people in america they come up bummy , baggy , pj , sometimes shirtless , a dirty t and just pick up mail . But people in japan are so different that they put into work , into looking good for themselves . I watch a lot of youtube videos and a bunch of it is just people . What are you wearing ? You talk about all the brands you're wearing and every single person looking good for themselves . I watch a lot of YouTube videos and a bunch of it is just people . What are you wearing ? You talk about all the brands you're wearing and every single person is so different . There's no concrete style . You have Americana , you have street wear , you have high fashion , you have Y2K , so many different people , whereas America is just one image , one style . I think , from my opinion , this current generation , especially youth crop-t baggy pants the silver-like style is what they call it and it's an easy stylish format that anyone can get into .

Justin 9:21

But being in Japan , I dress going back . Before japan . I dress a little bit similar as a silver lake guy crop t baggy pants , but black . But going to japan , I was inspired by so many different people , so many different styles , drapey , black streetwear with colors , y2k and vintage Americana , and I did not want to look like a tourist , I wanted to blend in with the culture in Japan . So my second year I'm like I'm going to up my game . So , being in Japan , I bought wide pants like Hakamas . I got into Yoji Yamamoto , a lot of things that were quote unquote oversized , like kind of big , but like drapey . So it falls off my body very nicely as if I'm a wizard . The way I dress right now in this coat and a see-through shirt and wrap pants . That's what I love about japanese culture . It's the fact that I am exposed to many more things . Before that I thought I was like , oh , I'm at my peak level japan humbled me very much so I see .

J.R. 10:31

So open your eyes to this bigger ocean of fashion possibilities , of what aesthetics can look like , different variations . Maybe this is a little bit down a deeper rabbit hole than I was expecting to go , but okay . So you talk about japanese culture and wanting to stand out and that high level of standards in an aesthetic way . Right , I'm trying to wrap my head around the idea of , let's say , western versus asian cultures , where western culture , stereotypically , is more about individualism and then eastern cultures are more about like that sort of community vibe and then that saying of the nail that sticks up gets hammered down .

Justin 11:07

I'm butchering that sort of phrase , but you know what I'm talking about , right ?

J.R. 11:09

yeah , it's that and again , generalization but that's usually what asian eastern cultures are known for is like the symmetry , the communal and not the individualism . And if you look at like capitalism versus not right , there's that sort of juxtaposition . So I know those are different things , but I'm trying to wrap my head around the contrast between that and then now what you're saying is , the fashion is like everyone's trying to stand out , there's a lot of variety . It almost feels like a capitalism of fashion because there's so many different varieties . But it goes against that concept and it could be an outdated concept of trying to be the same , trying to be uniform , trying to be like a machine or everything is uniform . Do you have any thoughts ? Or how could I reconcile those different ideas ? Does that make sense ?

Justin 11:55

What I'm trying to do .

J.R. 11:57

And I could be wrong on all of these things , that's just my , I'm bringing it up because you mentioned how they're trying to look different .

Justin 12:03

Because a lot of the things I was saying it's just observation and personal experience walking around socal these days the way I dress super different .

Justin 12:14

You're just like who's this guy ? Is this guy being performative or not ? I remember one time it I think it was last week it was my friend's birthday . We went to irvine spectrum and I have posted a story of our friend group and we were all dressed in black . Everyone looks like wizards , everyone looked like villains and final boss . But it captured a lot of eyes on us , a lot of people making side comments . A lot of people are making side comments , a lot of oh y'all look good or other people like .

Justin 12:47

Wingardium Leviosa . Those are coming from people who don't understand the importance of fashion , how fashion built us as a person . I'm not saying fashion is a personality , but fashion gives you the confidence and it also expands your horizon of what's out there .

Justin 13:03

I don't want to look the same For me . I hate looking the same . I hate being stagnant where I am in life , physically and mentally , emotionally . So every single day I'm like , how do I get better ? I'm not a social media guy , I just post FitPix , but I'm like how can I make a better FitPix than the last one ? I don't have an answer to your question , but

Eastern vs. Western Cultures and Values

Justin 13:25

no , it's all good .

J.R. 13:26

No , I know . Again , I don't even know how to answer the question . I was just cause you brought up a great point and I don't disagree and I've observed that too . It was just compared to this other idea that I've heard . Growing up and I've experienced is like the Eastern versus Western cultures and the individual versus the more more communal societal values , and then juxtaposing that with fashion and things that are more innovative , more about standing out , and I guess I'll throw in this other reference .

J.R. 13:50

There's this really old documentary on b-boying , right Hip hop , and it changed my worldview a lot because it was a documentary . I think it's called Planet B-Boy , maybe 2008 or before that , and it was talking about following these different crews going to this international competition and they obviously showcased Korea , south Korea , japan , america , france , somewhere else , like other countries , right , and for the Japanese B-Boys they were saying how , and the documentary did a great job showing this visually . But it would be these B-Boys dressed up in hip-hop cult fashion and then dancing in a subway around a bunch of people in suits and exactly , planet B-Boy changed my life life . I wrote a thesis on this actually , oh , but it was like what hip-hop specifically gives people and b-boying is that freedom to break out of the societal norms of , especially in japanese culture . What they're saying was that uniformity and so hip-hop offers that it's like a counterculture to the mainstream culture and obviously things like fashion and stuff also break out of those norms and that's why I was like , oh , it reminds me of the documentary right .

Justin 14:52

Being here in LA is breaking that uniform , Everyone dressing the same Again observation .

Justin 15:00

So , as what people notice , you guys are all reforming . It's a compliment . Because we want to stand out . Yeah , we look intimidating , we look scary , but we're just a bunch of goofballs who just love clothes and love anime and , just like we are unhinged . So we enjoy breaking the norm . Because we also want to inspire people to just really put yourself out there , because there's nothing wrong with experimenting , there's nothing wrong looking different , because people are afraid , yeah , to be different I like that .

J.R. 15:30

It's almost like a . It's almost a visual outward manifestation of that idea you want to put forth of being different and being comfortable in your own skin and pushing the boundaries because it's an external sort of visual representation . Okay , well , that was a long intro topic .

J.R. 15:46

Did not expect that no , yeah , but it was good , because I for me , personally I'm not into fashion . So it's so amazing to hear from someone who's really into it their perspective on that , because I think props to you and everyone who's into it . I think fashion is amazing . Let's go into the first topic real quick , which is origin , self-discovery

Origin Story, Growing Up in Oakland, and Moving to LA

J.R. 16:03

, adulthood . The general questions are like where did you grow up , what were some of your biggest influences and what were your aspirations as a kid ? Good , question .

Justin 16:12

So , starting off with the first question , where I grew up ? I grew up in East Oakland back in 1996 . I was living with my family , two parents , two older brothers , two grandparents , and I've been there my whole adolescence , my whole teenage years , since day zero , since I was 17, . Being in Oakland is such a different world to live in . I moved out after high school to LA to pursue a degree in film studies , to be precise , and the culture in LA is super diverse .

Justin 16:45

Sure , oakland is diverse , definitely , but the culture in LA is super diverse . Sure , oakland is diverse , definitely , but the culture in Oakland is super different . You have the hyphy movement , you have really specific sound , specific dances , specific lingos , and I still say those lingos . But in LA it's so diverse because you have people from different communities , different parts of the world . So the biggest influence is learning different cultures . That isn't just Oakland and on top of that , the exposure to art . I was always into art but because of the different culture of different people in my life , the way they see things is very unique the way they see the world , the way they see fashion , the way they see the world , the way they see fashion , the way they see art music is something that I did not have growing up in oakland because I just felt personally stagnant especially compared to la right yeah yeah la .

Justin 17:38

Everyone asked me like you ever thought about going back to oakland . I'm like no , I feel like if I go back to oakland I'll be very depressed , because I am hungry for growth , I'm hungry to discover many things and I feel like I outgrew oakland . You could take me out of oakland , but you can't say oakland out of me for sure .

J.R. 17:54

But I know I got to the point where I'm like I gotta grow up , I gotta find who I am as a person , not the kid from oakland yeah , I feel the same way growing up in the Bay Area as well , like Southeast Bay , fremont , milpitas , and it's always home , my family's there , but I can't see myself moving back because obviously I'm so used to SoCal OC area but the diversity and culture is something that I enjoy and I'm used to and I think going back home it'll feel like no shade , obviously , but I'll feel more stagnant and like , okay , home , this is , there's nothing new here , there's no growth for me here , exactly . So I totally resonate with that . Maybe you already touched on this . But the next question I had was like how did changing your environment after school and moving away from home advance your journey of self-discovery ? I know you said the culture is a big part of that , but anything else ?

Justin 18:38

but , like in self-discovery , living on my own . I , I'm the baby of my family , so of course I've been called . I've been spoiled 17 years and going to college in my late 17 , turning 18 , with , of course , I had my parents support me , support me financially . I didn't have a job , but it was the age of meeting people , the age of finding who I want to be . So , moving to LA , I'm like I don't want to be that shy kid from Oakland , I want to be a new character . So I'm going to have new personality , new energy , new mindset . So I was privileged to have a restart in my life as an 18-year-old

Justin's Evolution Over the Years & Overcoming PTSD

Justin 19:22

.

J.R. 19:22

Could you walk us through these stages of life that you mentioned , so kid Justin , teen Justin , college Justin and then now adult Justin ? Could you walk us through those stages that you mentioned , the differences or maybe self-discovery ?

Justin 19:35

that you had . Again , I was a baby boy , always spoiled , and because I was spoiled I was really naive . I don't really see the world in such a negative way . Growing up , everything was rainbows and sunshine . And then high school happened . So you go through , emotions , you go through hormones , the biggest thing that period being a teenager . What are emotions ? Why do I feel a certain way ? So my early teens I was going through a lot of depression but I'm like what is depression ?

Justin 20:09

Am I really depressed ? How can I be depressed if I'm just a kid and that was something that was instilled into me because I was invalidated for having such feelings ? I was just being crazy and I was just like overthinking or asking for attention . A lot of being a teenager is just like why do I feel this way ? How can I fix it ? I never had solutions to fix it , so disclaimer a lot of dark side of my mind of wanting to end my life I knew that wasn't the solution .

Justin 20:40

There was a moment where I was really close . Of course , I thought about my family , thought about my friends and I'm like nah , I got to keep going , but there has to be a better way . But being a teenager at that era of 2010 , it was such a taboo , especially in the Asian family household . You're not supposed to have depression . You're just a kid . We gave you a house , we gave you food . Is there to be depressed about .

J.R. 21:08

Yeah , was there anything that helped you through those sort of thought processes ? I know you said you thought about your family . Okay , let's keep going , right , yeah , but was there anything specific that either happened , someone said to you , or an experience or something you learned that helped you through that sort of time ?

Justin 21:23

At the time , a lot of it was just validation for my friends .

J.R. 21:26

I also grew up with the internet , so I was getting validation from my online friends .

Justin 21:31

It is a good thing to get those validation , but it became an addiction because I was yearning for those validation , to feel good about myself , to keep going , and that's a really unhealthy mindset because that led into college too . College I had to restart . Yeah , new guy , new man , new mindset . But that darkness still was following me . So every time I felt lonely I'm just depressed . I feel like no one cares about me . No one loves me . In college , man , I wanted girlfriends . So I'm like well , I didn't get any girlfriends .

J.R. 22:03

I'm just like I wanted them , I didn't get them .

Justin 22:11

I'm like well , I didn't get any girlfriends . I'm just like , I wanted them . I didn't get them . I'm like why does nobody love me ? Why does nobody want me ? Like I'm cute , you know at the time I thought I was emotionally intelligent .

Justin 22:15

I wasn't . I'm just questioning so many things about my worth because I was basing it off of other people , so that definitely I have developed anxious attachment , the codependency on my friends and seeking validation from my friends when I should have never done that to begin with . And that fell into my first two relationships in my early 20s . I got into a relationship because I was depressed , so I founded someone who was giving me what I wanted and then , by the time when they were giving attention to their friends rightfully so I was like no , give it back to me .

J.R. 22:55

That's mine Exactly .

Justin 22:57

So I'm just like I'm just asking her out , I want her to be mine and I got what I wanted . And that's the problem . I got what I wanted because it filled the void in me and I no longer wanted it . And I went through two years of that relationship , of just going through so many fights , doubting myself , doubting my partner at the time , and just brought the bad out to both of us and it didn't work out . So after that relationship I thought I got better , but I ended up going to the next relationship bringing the same problem from my last girlfriend to my next girlfriend . So I didn't he , I was running away . I thought I got better because I'm like damn , I got a better mindset , I'm more confident . The way I think is not the same two years ago .

J.R. 23:50

I definitely grew , so I think I'm good now .

Justin 23:52

Yeah , but I did not grow . I was how do you say I wouldn't say trauma dumping , but I put all my problems in my next relationship , problems that I never fix . A lot of the lack of communication , a lot of lack of critical thinking of my emotions and the hesitation of learning about the other person's feelings . I wasn't the best boyfriend at the time with those two relationships and of course my partner's didn't treat me well , but no one's a good person .

Justin 24:30

So there's a lot of learning , a lot of development of what is happiness in a relationship . How do I find love and will I ? Ever find person who will love me for me , but will I become the better person than who I was the first two relationships ? There's a lot of doubt and as adulthood came , I think like 25 , even now .

Justin 24:50

I went through therapy and therapy . I went into it like I need relationship advice . I ended up coming out with PTSD . So I was like , yeah , so why am I like this relationship ? Why do I act like this ? Why am I always chasing girls ? Am I like this relationship ? Why do I act like this ? Why am I also always chasing girls who are like this to me ? And yet I tolerate it for two years when I shouldn't have ?

Justin 25:13

And then my therapist let's start with your childhood , let's start with your family . And then and a lot of it was PTSD growing up in the Asian household there's a lot of it was PTSD Growing up in an Asian household . There's a lot of fighting through , words spanking as we all joke about as adults . Now we joke about it , but looking back , it made me broken growing up . So I remember taking that test , the PTSD test , that my therapist gave me . I was crying , I was like damn . I never knew that I was so broken . I was so hurt . There was a most simplest question , but those questions just made me like ball . And after going through therapy , I think six months it was pretty short because it was also after my breakup and that was when I was like I'm locking in on growing up . That's where I became super aware of my emotions , super aware of the way I think so .

Justin 26:08

If I think a certain when , I feel a certain way like I'm upset , I'm like hold up why I'm upset and then I become very relaxed and I go through the steps of why I feel this way and why I should not be reactive to these emotions .

Justin 26:26

So , going to Justin now I'm in a happy relationship , my two years coming up , 8-8 affinity . So being with my girlfriend now I'm very calm . I'm always looking forward to everything . I'm not walking on eggshells , there's no fights . I'm always looking forward to everything . I'm not walking on eggshells , there's no fights . There's always discussion and the hunger to grow as an individual and as a lover . So that's where I am now , as a romantic person . But as a person now I'm very confident . I love clothes , I love my friends and the things I do . I don't apologize . By that I meant , like the things I love , like anime , I mean anime Growing up oh , you watch anime . That's so weird . Oh , yeah , I watch anime . So what ? I go to anime expo , I dress up , dress up as a buff dude Just can't do about it . So yeah , Nice .

J.R. 27:15

So it's like now you just lean into who you are authentically , what you love and what you do , and thank you for sharing that . One of the things I wanted to ask about

When Should We Seek Therapy?

J.R. 27:23

your therapy and journey and maybe you touched upon a little bit of this what are the signs that you might need that sort of external guidance ? But then , on top of that , what are some strategies that helped you out ? I know you mentioned taking yourself out of yourself and looking at it . Third part , like why am I feeling this way and observing yourself in that way and observing yourself in that way , which calms you down and helps you feel more grounded ? Were there any other things that helped you in your experience through ?

Justin 27:49

therapy that you used today . To rewind a little bit back in your question like how do I get into therapy ? I got into it because I myself and my partner , we were at our lowest in our relationship . You saw the need Both of you guys , yeah , and throughout both of my relationships , I always blamed myself .

J.R. 28:00

Like the reason why our relationship .

Justin 28:01

You saw the need . Both of you guys , yeah , and throughout my both of my relationships I always blame myself , like the reason why our relationship is so bad because of me . So everything's about self-blame . I'm at fault and of course I know both of my exes they didn't mean to , but there's a lot of accusations . So those accusations made me feel even worse about myself and I can't help but taking those blame . So it got to the point I'm like I need therapy , I need to know why I'm like this , and throughout that journey it's oh , that's not . You're not the only one who's at fault .

J.R. 28:35

I realized that that's not me .

Justin 28:37

The thing I took away from therapy other than just like glazing it oh , therapy should take it . No , not everyone can have therapy , that's fine , but what I took away from it is being emotionally aware . I think that's the most important thing , because we overlook that , like we are very reactive and that's a skill that I built is to not be reactive , because being reactive can cause problems and of course , I'm not perfect .

Justin 29:05

So there are times where I like , felt upset , like over this stupid as reason oh , I dropped my phone so hard on concrete and I'm like my life's terrible . I'm like I uh let's just end this but no , I'm not like that . So I'm just like oh , are you okay ? Is it fine yeah ? It's fine , okay , move on , instead of being like , oh , I dropped it that used to be me so less emotionally reactive , not letting your emotions control you .

J.R. 29:32

Yeah , exactly , taking a step back . I'm reading this book currently . I mentioned in the last episode , which is 101 Essays that Change the Way you Think , and it talks about how one of the ways that you can sorry you shouldn't try to repress or hide your emotions allow you to feel it .

J.R. 29:47

Of course , don't invalidate it right and it's like what you're saying don't invalidate those emotions , feel it , but also obviously don't let those emotions control you and your actions , because you won't even make good decisions that way . Exactly one piece of advice I got from that book was like if you're feeling emotionally what's it called Agitated , or you're at a heightened sense , wait to bring yourself back to neutral and then maybe make a decision , think about it logically , et cetera .

Justin 30:12

You have so much time in the world to even think , you can't do your best to just not be reactive because , as we talked about earlier , you do cause issues , not for them but for yourself , and it's going to cause even more issues of self-doubt and anxiety . So you ? Have all the time in the world to feel and then to assess yourself . How can I go through these emotions ? And regurgitate it positively .

J.R. 30:38

Cool . I want to ask you we're on this topic of relationships and I eventually want to move . I forgot to ask about Made Cafe and Butler cafe , but on this relationships and love ,

Identifying Unhealthy Relationship Patterns

J.R. 30:47

I want to ask what are some unhealthy patterns that ? You've learned over the years to help identify in relationships . Obviously you have a good context and experience for some people out there who might not know so unhealthy patterns , but also maybe strategies for people to help navigate those difficult relationships , or guiding thoughts or questions what are some patterns ?

Justin 31:10

a lot of patterns in my first two relationship is being scared to talk to your partner .

Justin 31:18

You should never be scared to talk to your partner , your partner that's a sign , right , yeah your partner should be the one to uplift you and she'll always be happy to talk to your partner . But I was scared . I was scared of messing up the relationship I am now . It's okay to mess up because we're not perfect and you have that safe space . Now , exactly , I didn't have that safe space . I was accused , I was belittled , I wasn't validated to feel a certain way because I was the first one to cause a problem . And that's the biggest thing I think People should be mindful of , like why am I afraid to tell this person things right ? We don't want to walk on eggshells . That's another thing , walk on eggshells .

J.R. 31:59

I walked on so many eggshells And- .

Justin 32:01

This floor is just all eggshells . You don't want to crack them , you don't want to cause any problems , you don't want to make noise and because I was walking on eggshells , I had to suppress my emotions . If I was upset , I'm like , oh , I can't be upset because they're going to be upset , I don't want to fight , so I'm going to avoid talking about it . Upset and I don't want to fight , so I'm gonna avoid talking about it and realizing that becoming codependent on their happiness , so putting their happiness over mine . So if they're happy , I'm happy .

Justin 32:33

If they're not , I'm not happy either . So you really lose yourself as a person and I think that's the biggest thing that everyone should be aware of when you go in a relationship is are you you , are you still yourself before the relationship ? And if you're still yourself , are you a better person ? Those first two relationships I lost myself . I was definitely annoying .

Justin 33:00

I was a guy in a friend group who was like hold on , I got to take this phone call , hold on I got to step away . I was not present with my friends . And it got to the point where I did lose friends and I'm like why am I losing people ? And that's because I put myself in a situation where I did not put myself first . Being with my girlfriend now she's an extension of me to maybe the person I am today . So , being single before her , my life was good . I had a lot of friends , I was super healthy physically , emotionally and mentally . And when she came to my life , it got even better . So I feel like a relationship should be a cherry on top of your own life .

Justin 33:35

Of course you want to be the best version of yourself . Don't go for a relationship when you feel the weakest , because I did that .

J.R. 33:44

I got what I wanted and I did not want it , and I caused a lot of problems as well , experiencing a lot of downfall and hurting myself in the process I love that insight a lot because , juxtaposed with what you're saying , in your first two relationships , the foundation of those relationships was lack , need not being enough , and so how can you build a good relationship off of that foundation ? And then you're saying now that , going into this healthy relationship , you were beforehand , you worked on yourself , you felt like more of a complete person , and now my belief is that , especially for our single friends out there , if you're looking to be in a relationship , the worst thing you can do is feeling like you need something to make you feel better and then thinking that person will solve all your problems , as opposed to working on yourself , being a whole person . And now that your frequency , your vibe , your wavelength is different , you will attract a different type of person into your life . So that order of operations , in my opinion , is so necessary . Is you need to feel like you love yourself , because you can never give or receive love that you don't have for yourself . Self-love is the core of all types of love , and so it's realizing that if you feel like you really need a relationship to be happy , you're already at a bad start , right , definitely .

J.R. 34:57

I want to ask the question

Getting into Maid & Butler Cafes

J.R. 34:58

now because I think this is big . This is very important to my conception of Justin , which is how did you get into maid cafe and Butler cafes ? What is this buff dude , sorry . One thing I did want to say too , is for audio only listeners . Obviously there's this eye candy of a guy next to me , but for those of you who don't have the fortune of seeing what's underneath this , his layers , he's also at peak physical prime . He's he's like a chiseled Greek god . So imagine that in a maid outfit . And so that's setting the stage . So how did you get into it ?

Justin 35:29

So I always knew about maid culture because I'm a weeb right Getting involved with maid culture . It really started off finding this place called Asayoru . So Asayoru is the first brick-and-mortar maid cafe in LA that is founded by my friend , her alias Maid Sai . I went in there for the memes . I'm like , ah , cringe culture , maid Lamao , cringe .

J.R. 35:55

It always starts off as a joke .

Justin 35:58

So I went in there as a joke , I just want to see , and it was a hot day too , so I was wearing tank tops . Of course my muscles were out . So I went with my friend and then sat there and I was just ordering all the special stuff like the parfait , the games , performances . Again I came in there as a joke . I was like these are just me , let's get a parfait . Got a parfait and then it was a performative thing . It was before you eat a meal or dessert , they have to cast a magic . Casting magic gets rid of the poison of your food , so they hit the more and more Q .

J.R. 36:36

That makes sense .

Justin 36:38

So when they hit the spell , you can eat it . So I was like , okay , I like that . And then I ordered games and the games we did just like hungry hippos and you really interact with the maids , and I ordered the performance and then I chose the maid I want to see perform they go on stage and they just start dancing and I'm like this is crazy .

Justin 36:59

And on top of that , there are people in the audience who dance with the maids in the back not the same choreography , but like fan chants , I think . Correct me if I'm wrong , don't quote me on that . Basically , it's just like they had two light sticks and they just go crazy . They go dance , they scream and it's just all about vibes .

Justin 37:19

I'm like damn and this is also after I left choreos . A few years after I left choreos , I'm just like I'm misperforming , but it was so fun to watch . And as the night ended , sai came up to me . She's like you always thought about being made . I'm like huh , yeah , so I'm planning a made event called swole made or swole yoru , so the name originally . I'm asa yoru , but the event is called as swole yoru and my arms are out there . So she scouted me basically and she's like yeah , come join . Like here's the application . And I'm like at the time I was self-doubting myself .

J.R. 37:52

Yeah , I got the muscles .

Justin 37:54

I don't have food service experience , but it's like I just post a picture for cat . We'll teach you . I went through that and then I got in and I met a bunch of people . I met other buff dudes and women and , by the way , that's where I saw my girlfriend . It was love at first sight at a maid cafe .

J.R. 38:11

Oh , so she was also a maid .

Justin 38:13

Yeah , so we were co-workers that fell in love Nice . I went through that four seasons Season , like maybe season one , season two , so there's four seasons .

J.R. 38:23

How long is a season it ?

Justin 38:24

was more so the frame of time . So we had one in September .

J.R. 38:26

Okay .

Justin 38:26

And because Aso Yoru season one did so well , we did Aso Yoru season two . When was that I ?

J.R. 38:32

think it was like . April . Okay , so it was like about half a year-ish or whatever .

Justin 38:38

Yeah , and I think spot and then that did well . Then we did another one in september , but we did two season and one week , so like season three and four and it lasts how long a day it was just a weekend , oh weekend . The first two seasons was just one weekend , from five till nine , and then season three and four was saturday and sunday . So I was . It became a joke and I got involved and a lot of patrons from , like the maid cafe oh you're Swole , justin .

Justin 39:09

I was like , yeah , that's me , I still got it . And then how I got involved with Butler Cafe also , my friend reached out and he's like I see your muscles , I see the way you dance , can you perform for me ? I was like , yeah , rewind . But he did Anime Expo . So Anime Expo had Butler Cafe and I went to the 18 plus . So I saw a bunch of dudes shirtless , with a vest on , and there were also women there , but they had wigs , they had disguises , rightfully so . And I was seeing the dance performance . I'm like , oh my God , I miss dancing , I miss performing . And Choreos gave me that platform to perform A little tangent performing the exhibition night for Choreos , oh amazing , I'm like I miss performing so much . So Made Cafe gave me the opportunity . But Made Cafe , I was doing cute dances , cute dances with flexing my arms .

J.R. 40:03

And then Butlerler cafe , which I'm in the process now it's just a bit more in my comfort of not being too cute , being like charming , very charming , but I do miss covering boy groups a little hard and all the lip bites and everything yeah , a little sexy , but yeah , I'm currently in a process of training and practicing for dances and performing , and that is happening at the end of august so the difference between butler and made cafe is just like butler's obviously the attire , but you're saying is it more dancing , less cute dancing , or they're both performative actually okay yeah , so like it was a mix of serving food and then doing magic on the food , yeah , and then performing .

Justin 40:43

So it wasn't real , yeah . So like it was a mix of serving food and then doing magic on the food and then performing , so it wasn't real , yeah , so it wasn't really .

J.R. 40:47

So it's just the attire is the main difference basically , and like the character , the character right ? Yeah , okay , dang that's , I would say . People check out . Do you have videos up there of you doing that , or anywhere where would you direct them if they want it ? They're curious about butler and may cafes . Okay , people check out .

Justin 41:06

Do you have videos up of you doing that or can they see anything anywhere ? Where would you direct them if they want ? If they're curious about Butler and May cafes , okay . So Asoyoru , you have to go on Asoyoru's like Instagram account and they do have reels , but you have to go back like a year or two because it is like pretty old , and have like tiktoks the tiktok I was in went viral and butler cafe . We're currently in the plans right now , but you'll eventually find us when this beetle gets released nice , okay , I'll link at least the first one .

J.R. 41:32

So yeah , and then maybe if you publicize in your socials and people check it out .

Justin 41:37

You want to see me in the maitress ?

J.R. 41:38

I'm also out yeah , who would not want to see that ? Come on , okay . Any last thoughts on if you want to take it back to relationships and love or anything else on Made Cafe .

Justin 41:49

Honestly , I could think of any questions you have for me .

J.R. 41:51

I think that was a good place . I was going to transition to rapid fire questions and maybe some of those things will come up again . Sure , okay ,

Rapid Fire Questions

J.R. 41:58

capifier , first question , billboard question . If you could put up a sign for millions of people to see , what would it say ? Non-commercial , metaphorical .

Justin 42:07

Metaphorical . Oh man , I was going to say use your damn signals when you drive . Please use your signals . It's not that hard , Just flip the switch .

J.R. 42:13

That's fair . Yeah , yeah , I think it's a no , it's a win-win . We should definitely do that . What is one of the hardest challenges you faced in your life and what did you learn from it ?

Justin 42:23

hardest challenges I faced in my life is being too hot , too attractive . I had to work for that the biggest challenges is being happy and how do I learn from it , finding the right people in my life that gives me that happiness . Not giving me happiness , but like feeling that happiness . So not just relationship , but friendship . So like when you have a bad friend group and they make you feel like shit , damn , don't be in a friend group . Same thing with relationship . Walk away and find the people that love you for you .

J.R. 42:54

Self-inflicted wound ? Do you have a story about something that's gone wrong in your life and it's your own fault and you can't blame anyone else because you did it to yourself ?

Justin 43:01

Yeah , can't blame anyone else because you did it to yourself . Yeah , my first two relationships people were like I just leave and I'm like I'm gonna leave . I did not leave and then I went through four years of like depression , anxiety and trauma , ptsd . Yeah , and I did that to myself . I was told many times because I didn't do it , I lost friends and I lost myself .

J.R. 43:18

Another guest said that too was like my friends . All saw the signs . I couldn't see it . I was into it , so of course I gave myself grace , but obviously that was a self-inflicted right . If you could redo one thing , what would you do differently ?

Justin 43:31

as cliche as it is .

Justin 43:32

Oh , I can't undo what I did , because it put me in this course yeah , I am now but my earrings because , as you can see , I have have two on each side , but I had three . So when I pierced the second and third one , I was like I want to put them up new rings . So not even two hours in , I took my studs off and put in my hoops and I caused a lot of problems introducing bacteria , constant bleeding . So I spent a whole year . My ear will swell each and every day . It's like a roller coaster . It will bleed in my sleep and I'll have like dry blood on my skin and it will hurt .

Justin 44:12

Yeah , so let your ears heal . So I waited a whole year . I went to a dermatologist and got I get a steroid shot from my really small keloids and I took a chance and pierced my ears again and thankfully I did not bleed . It's have not swell since . So I'm letting this current one heal and then I'm going to go back next month and pierce a third one . And yeah , I miss having three earrings .

Justin 44:38

But , like take care of your body . Ear care is important . Don't take that for granted .

J.R. 44:44

When people tell you to keep it in and take care of it , do that . Listen to them . Listen to them . If you could give your younger self advice , what would it be now , any age ?

Justin 44:52

The younger self . This advice is only for younger me . It's not that serious , it's not that dramatic . Yes feelings are real . The way you feel things is very valid , but you don't need to blow it out of proportion , because at the end of the day . You're okay , as long as you're safe and healthy and that you keep going for yourself , not for anyone . You're not that serious bro , good perspective .

J.R. 45:22

In the last few years , what new belief , behavior or habit has improved your life ?

Justin 45:27

new habit , mindset . I changed my life , developing confidence

New Habit: Developing Confidence

Justin 45:35

because I'm so confident who I am . Now I can be really goofy . So like I walk around public space like irvine spectrum I'd be screaming for no reason , I'd just go on my day . So before I did not have that confidence , I was too shy , I was too scared . But now I can just fuck around because I'm so comfortable in my own skin . So , developing the confidence and knowing that I can carry myself and not apologize for it , I'm good . I'm good I'll be speaking like that .

J.R. 46:06

What do you think helped give you that confidence , like any things that you did , that built it ?

Justin 46:11

and it goes back to relationships . So when you have a partner that uplifts you and bring the best out of you not just your partner , your friend groups or a best friend , one person , someone who gives you the drive to just be yourself and not apologize for being yourself . So because I have a great girlfriend , a great friend group , who are also pretty weird . It's just a little group of hyenas in the wilderness just making weird noises and sticking their tongues out .

Justin 46:41

So choosing your social circle is very important Personally for me . That helped me boost my confidence a lot and having those people gas you up every time you dress up yes , who would you call successful and how do you define success ?

Justin 46:54

Who do I call successful ? To be very selfish myself , and how do I define that ? How do I know I'm successful ? I'm not rich , I don't got a mansion , I don't got a yacht , but I'm very happy . I've never been this happy and confident in myself before because I have the richest friend group by riches , the most lovable people I've ever been , the most aware , who are self-aware , emotionally intelligent , but also don't take life too seriously , and they know how to choose their friends . They're very careful , they can stand up for themselves but also have your back , and I find that really successful to have the right community for myself .

J.R. 47:37

I like it . It reminds me of this reel I saw a while ago , which was a video of a family eating around a dinner table . And there's this , the text on the video that says some people are so poor that all they have is money . And it reminds me of what you're saying is like sure , riches , wealth , right , but if you don't have the connections , the relationships , the friendships and feeling happy with yourself , then what's the point of all of that ?

Justin 48:02

Exactly , and part of human nature is to build a community , is to love not just yourself but the people around you , and to be inspired .

J.R. 48:11

If you knew you couldn't fail , what would you try or be doing right now ?

Justin 48:15

swim . I don't know how to swim , which is a weird thing to say . I knew how to swim as a kid . I went to ymca and then I started going to ymca for a week and I forgot how to swim . I couldn't float and since then I've just been afraid to swim . And now I have too much muscle I have .

J.R. 48:33

I barely have fat , I think it's because I have too much muscle , not enough fat . That's why I can't swim , guys .

Justin 48:38

I'm like 10% body fat so I sink . People be like oh just , I don't know swim terminologies or move sets , so they just , oh just , go in circles . I do the same thing but I sink . So it's like I'm trying to swim .

J.R. 48:50

When's the last time you've been in a pool or water or anything ?

Justin 48:54

I think last summer it was like a nightly swim , my friends gotcha , so you're just like walking around or something . I was basically walking around , they were teaching me how to swim , so I was at the edge and you have to be like horizontal I was still sinking , so I was just like god damn it . So I was trying so hard to swim .

J.R. 49:10

It's just physics , guys . He's just too cut , he's just too much muscle , unfortunately .

Justin 49:15

yeah , there's , yeah , there's a good balance of being . It's the curse of being too attractive Not even Don't be too buff , otherwise you can't save a life in water , something like that .

J.R. 49:27

Do you watch One Piece at all ?

Justin 49:28

I don't .

J.R. 49:29

Okay . Do you know the idea of like devil fruits or anything ?

Justin 49:32

Like . You eat this fruit and you get powers .

J.R. 49:35

And then you can't swim . So if you eat a devil fruit and you get powers , you can't swim . So if you eat a devil fruit and you get powers , you can no longer swim , you just sink . And so my brain is like justin ate a devil fruit , he can't swim because he is a superhero .

Justin 49:46

I had to sacrifice one thing I sacrificed .

J.R. 49:48

He ate the muscle , muscle fruit , and now he can't swim , okay . Next question is if you knew you would absolutely fail , what would you do anyway ?

Justin 49:57

if I knew I would fail , and what I do anyways ?

J.R. 49:59

oh man drifting really yeah , I want to drift okay I love initial d but if you knew you'd fail , wouldn't that cause a fatal accident ? Yeah , but at least I did it gotcha cool maybe that should have been answered to the first part , which is you wouldn't fail . You know what you're right . You know drive , drift , whatever same thing . What is something you've been pondering recently or something you think about often deeply ?

Justin 50:24

Recently my proposal to my girlfriend .

J.R. 50:28

It's so that's public , like you guys both . She , it's public , we , oh sorry , you already proposed .

Justin 50:34

No , no , no . Okay , she's my wifey , but she's not my wife . Gotcha , gotcha . But you guys are like… the idea's here , okay , intangible . I've been brainstorming , I've been going through a process of like how do I want to ? Do this ? How do I want to execute it ? She knows .

J.R. 50:49

She knows that I want to propose to her .

Justin 50:50

So you guys are on the same page , you guys want to get married , we do so I've been pondering a lot about how can I surprise her . So it's no secret , I'm going to propose . But like how ?

J.R. 51:00

am I going to propose ? Just thinking about it a lot Cool . Well , we won't spoil the surprise .

Hot Take: Men Should Explore Their Femininity

Justin 51:10

Next question is favorite hot take or something you think most people won't agree with . My favorite hot take , or I guess yeah , my favorite hot take and many people that will not agree is men should explore and embrace femininity . To me , femininity is not about quote-unquote being girly , but rather learning and understanding elegance , sophistication , intentionality . It's a power of subtlety . So , for example , I'm wearing makeup right now . You don't know that . So I have this no makeup makeup look . I just basically cover my razor cut from shaving . I covered the green tint of my facial hair . I cover all the red spots on my face . Another example I got my nails done . They kind of outgrew .

Justin 51:53

But I believe self-care is very important . It's so low key , it doesn't make it it excessive , but the work I put into to feel good about myself . So I got my my cuticles cleaned up , oiled up , hydrated . My nails before they were like there's nail polishes gel , so like a nude , somewhat pinkish color that just brings out my nails more , brings attention to the subtle details . And the biggest thing is shopping in women's section .

Justin 52:21

A lot of women clothes that I have encountered are genderless . Everything's about silhouette , textures , fabric , like the shirt I'm wearing from rick owens is a women's shirt , but you don't know that and wearing this empowers me because I get to show off my titties right and my abs . So exploring and embracing femininity , you don't abandon masculinity , but rather you expand what masculinity can be . It helps a man to become very dimensional . I consider myself very dimensional . I did Made Cafe . I am showing revealing things . My pants is like half skirt , half slacks . I got makeup on , I do my hair , got my nails done , do skincare . So I find these things like bare minimum but like a lot of men will not agree with me because it's like it's too girly , it's too feminine .

Justin 53:17

But no , you're just expanding yourself .

J.R. 53:19

You become more than who you are now what is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you've ever made in either time , money , energy or etc one of them is , I'm very privileged to say , is therapy to help to have some profession to guide me from my emotions that I never understood .

Justin 53:40

And the other investment is finding the right people in my life , finding the right lover and finding the right friend group . That's something I always preach about is finding the right people , people that make you happy , genuinely not . Oh , they make not like transactional or conditional . It's unconditional , Exactly . Yes , that's what it is .

J.R. 53:58

I like it Cool . Do you have a favorite recent purchase in the 50 to 100 range that has impacted your life in the last , let's say , six months ?

Justin 54:07

it's the recent , cheap , relatively man , the 90 , 10 , 10 pound ground beef from costco 90 , 10 , so like 90 right lean , 10 fat and I think I think it is 10 pounds . Like it really is like a log and like you cut that up it lasts you like half a year and I'm I have one beef left in the freezer , so that's like the best investment I saved at the time . Oh my god , it's whole money . Yeah , sure , but like you , save whole money in a lot of just because it's very cost efficient yeah and it's coming from a person who works out a lot and eat very boring meals .

Justin 54:42

I cook boring meals for myself until my girlfriend cooks me the most delicious meals . I like it .

J.R. 54:47

I recommend it yeah , man , we had this whole discussion at Starbucks about fitness and nutrition and stuff like that . Maybe part two . We'll cover that the whole nutrition and eating and how to stay on the grind and the consistency it takes to recomp your body last rapid fire . Any favorite books ,

Anime Recommendation: Frieren

J.R. 55:03

movies , videos , articles , media or anything that you share or recommend the most I recommend this anime free run . It's on netflix right now that's on my list , top of my list one season , right now right yes , it's 20 , yeah , yeah , 24 episodes free ran .

Justin 55:19

it's a little slow in the beginning , but the point of Free Ran is to go on a journey with her to discover emotions and relationship , and that's the most important thing that we talk about is being aware of your emotions and relationship . It's not even a spoiler , because she outlived a lot of her teammates , because she's an elf that can live up to 2,000 , 3,000 years , but not once she ever felt anything . She's like oh , it's whatever life goes on , but this particular team made her feel very different and she's like he's not in my life for that long .

Justin 55:50

But why am I crying ? And then she goes through different people in her life and the people she meets help her question . Why do I feel a certain way ? Why do I love this person and why am I attached to this person ? So free run is a really beautiful anime . It's a nice pace . The pace is perfect at first . I say that it was slow at first because I came back from watching jjk or anime like solo leveling , which is yeah every second is yeah .

Justin 56:19

I took a year break . I returned free run with a different mindset and I'm like , okay , I'm ready . It's definitely a show that you should sit down and watch , but definitely enjoy it and you get to learn a lot . And besides , like the message , there's a lot of cinematography that come , that came to it , and there's a little film nerd in me that I will not go into because I don't want to get too much time . Yeah , I was .

J.R. 56:42

It's at the top of my list and I was gonna ask . You already answered . It was like why do you think it's so popular ? Like why do you think people like it so much ? But I think what you said encapsulates that I'm sold on it even more now , because I'm like oh , that sounds really like your first line .

Justin 56:55

I was like I'm sold , I'm gonna watch it if you read the books about self-discovery mine I was like I'm sold , I'm gonna watch it .

J.R. 57:02

If you read the books about self-discovery free rent is a visual book for you . Okay , all right , it's on my list . Cool , all right . That is the

Ending Questions: Gratitude & Final Takeaways

J.R. 57:07

end of rapid fire questions . Justin , we made it , so we'll get into ending questions . So first off , gratitude , justin . What are you grateful for ?

Justin 57:15

I'm very grateful to be alive . I'm grateful to wake up every single day to live the life that not many people can live . People have gone away from this world and there's people who are still trying to find purpose . I'm very fortunate to wake up , a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in , and clothes , hot water , food , and I don't take any of that for granted , Of course .

J.R. 57:40

I work for it definitely , but I don't take any of that for granted . Of course , I work for it definitely , but I don't take it for granted and I'm very grateful to have that and to be the person I am today . Nice , I like it . And 10% body fat . Any final ask from the audience or any final takeaways that you'd like them to have from the show ?

Justin 57:59

The biggest takeaway is invest in yourself , invest in your happiness . Why being a ? Why put yourself in a position where you don't feel happy ? There's a gray area being a bad friend group or bad relationship . I feel like you have the power to take yourself out of it . You just need to find that stepping stepping stone , but invest in yourself because it's going to make you a lot happier . I invested myself emotionally with the proper love I was given from my girlfriend my friend group , even my parents .

Justin 58:29

After therapy , my communication with parents , I've gotten a lot better and financially buying the clothes I like , buying a really expensive mattress I could sleep in every day , buying a new computer set so I can keep making videos and art . So a lot of that is because I'm investing myself and it makes me really happy . I like it .

J.R. 58:49

All right , justin . Where can we find you ? Social handles , websites , email , whatever that ? If people want to see what you're up to or check out what you're up to or reach out , where can they find you ? You ?

Justin 58:58

can find me on Instagram . You're up to , or check out . We're up to , or reach out , um , where can they find you ? You can find me on instagram , justin tran , underscore , so j-u-s-t-n-t-r-a-n . Underscore , because I'm trying to be dark and mysterious there you go , but I'm not .

J.R. 59:11

Yeah , we'll have links to his social so you can follow him see what he's up to . All right , justin , that is it . Thank you so much for being . I really appreciate it . I'm going to take a lot of notes on this . I think you have such great insights , which I expected but , it was nice to have you here and the vibes you give off . The aura is good . I like it , thank you .

Justin 59:29

I'm actually a great host . Thank you for having me .

J.R. 59:31

Thank you so much . All right , so I'll do my final sign off here . I really appreciate it . Be sure to like , subscribe , follow . Leave me five stars , comments what you like about this episode . Leave justin some love in the comments . He likes it . Kiss him too yeah , he isn't exactly and a reminder to always be kind to other people , especially yourself , and then reminder that you can always learn something from someone if you take the time to listen . So thanks for being here .