The Gospel In The Game Sports Podcast
Conversation and stories about real athletes and the journey thru sport, faith and life.
Connecting athletes, sports families and the church. Build bridges and telling real stories to help repair, build and grow people.
Hosts Dan Dromarsky and Dave Dawson
The Gospel In The Game Sports Podcast
Disaster - Trauma
Explore the ripple effects of seemingly trivial incidents and how they shape our mindset well into adulthood. Our conversation kicks off with light-hearted tales from yesteryears, only to pivot into a candid discussion on how such experiences can morph into a persistent belief in lurking misfortune. We acknowledge the fine line between minor inconveniences and genuine trauma, offering insights into how humor serves as a crucial coping mechanism.
As we navigate through the world of sports, the complexities of trauma become more pronounced. Imagine the mental strain on a semi-pro hockey goalie facing constant uncertainty and rejection. These stories serve as a backdrop for our broader exploration of the trauma mindset, underscoring the psychological toll of life's upheavals and the coping mechanisms that follow. We weave personal narratives with scriptural insights, illustrating the shared journey of overcoming adversity while emphasizing the foundational notion of inherent worth.
In grappling with the question of why tragedies occur, we find solace in stories of forgiveness and resilience, such as the Humboldt Broncos bus crash and the acts of grace that emerged in its wake. By sharing powerful testimonies of individuals like Christina Hogan and Spencer Beach, we highlight the transformative role of faith and community trust in processing grief and finding hope. Through these narratives, we connect the dots between suffering and personal growth, reaffirming the constant and reliable nature of faith amidst life's greatest challenges.
gulf gas stations. Do you remember a gulf gas station like on the gulf?
Speaker 2:course, having a gas station on the golf course golf station named gulf no okay, I do not remember those. I grew up in manitoba, so there was your traditional gas stations. Okay, you're talking about, like in america, when you're talking about that.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. I'm talking about Canada. So in Canada, in Alberta, ULF golf GULF. Golf Golf. Golf Golf Gas station.
Speaker 2:Not golf, as in the sport Right. It's a fun word to say, though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is. That was partnered with the Toronto Blue Jays and you could scratch five different things and if you got, matching whatever was behind it a back catcher or a baseball bat or a baseball- you won a prize. And I was probably about seven or eight years old and I won an autographed baseball by the Toronto Blue Jays.
Speaker 2:Wow, I would have been so sad.
Speaker 1:So I I sent in this ticket and I got my autographed baseball and I remember how much I just it was awesome, it was so cool.
Speaker 2:Do you remember who it was, though? Which baseball player?
Speaker 1:No, it was like the whole team.
Speaker 2:Oh, the whole everybody, the entire team autographed it, okay.
Speaker 1:And I remember my I think my older brother was jealous, because I remember him coming to my room and grabbing my autographed baseball and taking it out of its protective case and tossing it in the air like he was going to go take it and use it. And after that it brings me back to what we mentioned in a previous episode don't touch my stuff. And it was, I was to this day. I still can feel my temperature rise when I see him in my head doing that.
Speaker 2:And I'm like oh, I'm touching your coffee right now. How does that make you feel I'm not going to be drinking out of that side that you just touched, but it is just, ah, just, it's all traumatic. It's still a traumatic thing that I remember from my childhood Someone coming and touching your stuff for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and, but something that was precious to me. It's not like you just came and picked up a dirty sock off Right, yeah, right. I was about to say out of my laundry hamper. I was got reminded this week that we don't call things a hamper anymore. Oh basket, yeah, yeah, no the basket is the thing that you carry laundry in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know that, yeah, bin.
Speaker 1:My wife was quite clear about that, right, and then I, but I mentioned it there's a laundry hamper. Laundry hamper is a used to be a fixed thing that you would have in a room with a lid that you would put your laundry in.
Speaker 2:I am going to continually mention to your wife, as I pass by her, about the laundry hamper, just to annoy her.
Speaker 1:Oh, trust me, there's several Every other time.
Speaker 2:There's several terms that I use that are probably traumatic to her because I'm like called like dress, pants, slacks. Sure, I'm sure the idea of you in slacks would be traumatic to many people.
Speaker 1:You know what I used to wear slacks like five, six days a week. It's traumatic to me now. Gymnastics no.
Speaker 2:Okay, gymnastics, no, okay. Um, we're starting off obviously very light-hearted to this episode, as many of our shows so far have been. This one has a bit more, a little more weight to it. Um, you and I were discussing this after episode 10, but we just felt it on our hearts and in our spirit that the holy spirit might have been guiding us towards one that's a little bit heavier. So 11 is going to be on the topic of trauma.
Speaker 1:Yeah, really heavy, and I think sometimes I think that's one of the things that we do to counter something that's heavy is we tend to fill things with light things in order to maybe balance the scales.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Humor, maybe you know, add humor for trauma. And yeah, it's such a, it's such a vast topic, because I love the example you used off the top, because something as small as that could be the instigator to somebody who might maintain a trauma mindset throughout the rest of their life. Oh, these things always happen to me. Why do bad things continually happen to me? Why do bad things continually happen to me? It could maybe start from at a young age oh, my brother took my autograph baseball. And then now, by the time you get to be 30 years old, you know, maybe you, you're late for work and you get in trouble, you think, oh, these things always happen to me.
Speaker 1:Right, sometimes that could be where it starts yeah, and I think the trauma is overused and it's like one of those another, one of those terms like anxiety. Yeah, they use out of out of con, not even out of context, they use it. But you're like okay, well, was like tossing a baseball, really traumatic yeah, almost like I love you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right people you might overuse that. Yeah, they overused it. Yeah, but you know what?
Speaker 1:trauma is serious. It can be, for some people is like you said. It's it could be the simplest thing, Some things, it could be things that are absolutely horrible. We wouldn't want to wish on our worst. No, no, absolutely, and you're like, I think traumatic really is like the unforeseen thing that happens, that you didn't see coming coming. That is absolutely a disastrous and leaving a long-term effect from it.
Speaker 2:Sure, yeah, and that can happen. Obviously, this episode 11,. I am Dave, he is Dan. Make sure I get those names right. I messed him up at the end of episode 10, but I've been practicing.
Speaker 1:Oh, good Like have you been practicing your own name In my?
Speaker 2:own in the mirror, In the mirror. Okay, good, I'm Dave, that's Dan. Where's Dan?
Speaker 1:Where's Dan? Oh, no, he's not in my mirror.
Speaker 2:No, he's right there I took a picture of him in my mirror in his spandex. But no, I think you know, when you look at again this concept of trauma and unpacking it. And in sport because this is the Gospel in the Game podcast, sports podcast we try to tie life and sport together. There are sports podcasts out there who talk about sports tendencies and leagues and terms and stats. We want to apply concepts of life and how to navigate through them in sport. So in the situation of trauma yes, sports trauma as you talked about in life, a disastrous situation that's almost impossible to recover from In sport, are there many of those?
Speaker 2:I don't know, but that can be something as big. As you move across the country to try out for a team, your parents are like, okay, we're going back home, you're going to make it. You don't make it. You lose your bank card, whatever your card dies. How do you get around? You're going to make it. You don't make it. You lose your bank card. Whatever your card you know dies. How do you get around? Like that can be traumatic. Oh, absolutely, we're not downplaying.
Speaker 1:No, if, whatever your incident is, if it's not a disaster, it's not traumatic, but trauma again can be a vast word yeah, it can be, and talking about that a little bit of that scale, it happens to the best of people, it happens to the least of people, it happens to the least of people, and not that one person is better than the other.
Speaker 1:I mean, let's equate it to this. It happens to professional athletes, it happens to amateur athletes, it happens to host league athletes and it can impact you. I remember talking to a guy who I would say he's semi-pro and we're actually going to interview him as part of this podcast and part of his story previously, a few years ago, and playing sports and being playing a hockey goalie is the effect of trickle-down, okay. So all of a sudden you are trying out for, say, the farm team of an NHL team and you're there, you have good tryouts and you've played okay, you're part of the top two. If you're number two and all of a sudden the NHL has an injury, boom, you get bumped up to number one on your team. But the same scale works the other way. All of a sudden, nhl's holding onto three goalies right to the point of beginning the season. They drop one down. That guy becomes the starter at the minor leagues. One guy gets pushed out of the system. Now, where's their spot for him?
Speaker 1:Sure Okay, so now he's got to search in other leagues, other teams, other places where he can play, still be affiliated with that connection with that team and put it in a spot Now. But because he shows up at that team, someone else gets pushed down. And so you have this trickle down after trickle down after trickle down and even to the point where even some of the guys that are semi-pro they think they're going to a spot Like I remember him telling me about driving, like it was something like six or eight hours to show up for a practice. The game was the next night. An hour before the game he gets told that he's not on the team and then he gets a call and then he's got to drive 12 hours to go to another spot. He has to report there in like 14, 15 hours because they have a game the following day, oh boy.
Speaker 1:And he's like I can't just like leave my stuff and fly. We're not, I'm not at that level of play. So what do you do? And he's like the cause, like of trauma on this experience because, okay, well, this team just let me go. What if this team lets me go? What if the next one?
Speaker 2:you're on, you're thinking behind, but you're always thinking ahead sure, and then where what that ends up doing is you get into that trauma mindset, the trauma response of well, now I have to protect, now I have to make sure this doesn't happen to me, so I'm going to put all these safeguards around, and or on the other side of it, where you think, oh, just another thing. Here I am, you know, playing the victim and another bad thing happens to me. Right, so it's. There are a lot of examples out there. I'm sure as you're listening to this, something might be coming to your mind of a small trauma or a large trauma. Where, where does it instigate from?
Speaker 1:Yeah, trauma, where? Where does it instigate? From? Where does it come from? Yeah, and we can. We can also start off with nothing. So, like our scripture verse for the day is found in the book of job, job 121, and it says he said without clothing I was born for my mother and without clothing I will return. The lord gave and the lord has taken away. Praise the name of the lord. And there's a beginning to that. There's a start. People come into this world holding bags of money, sure, or like, oh, you know, he's a natural talent at sport before the age of one, right. But at the same time we really come in with nothing. And so there's a starting point. And as we build experience, as we build relationships, as we build life, things can change and life can happen. And you can experience whether it's a loss, grief, uh, you can.
Speaker 2:There's events that happen and there's cause and effect isn't there. And when your example was great off the top about that, you know your brother coming in with the baseball, the autographed baseball, and disrespecting it. Well, if that suddenly in your life being disrespected then became a pattern continually, that might be that starting spot for that, and anybody who's been through counseling or therapy understands the concept of you know they always want to get to the root.
Speaker 2:Where did it all start? Okay, it's when this happened, it's when dad left, it's when you know mom said this or I saw this. That was the root and that's where you start from something. But again, the starting point is, I think, where you want to go with that is you know, when you look at yourself in the mirror, you know if you've been through a lot of trauma, you might see yourself as whatever you feel worthy of. Maybe you feel worthless, but, like you said, at the very beginning, we were all perfect.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, the level, the level playing field was there and so when, all of a sudden so maybe some people, when they experience loss, um, or go through something traumatic, something was taken from them and maybe it was something that they had a perceived value or was valuable, and because all of a sudden they will have that loss of value, they think they're less valuable. Or maybe it's something that was not just earned but it was given to them. It was something special.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Um, something that w that was like maybe it's your only piece of that person you have left.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can think of so many examples in my life that I've seen, you know you can think of. Let's go back to the incident with Donald Brashear and the stick swinging incident years ago. Right, you know, somebody was attacked. The Bertuzzi Moore situation as well. Right, gets jumped from behind and Moore took a number of years to be able to respond back. And there's, there's tons. I'm not jumping on either side, but I'm saying those are situations that I can think of and then you think of even more traumatic. So those people had something was, you would say, innocence. Very cool, they were violated, they had their innocence taken away. Maybe that's happened to you in life and then you use sport as a way to navigate through it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or you had a good thing going and all of a sudden it turned sour yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had a discussion today with a hockey manager and the conversation was about people hitting a pinnacle. When they haven't hit a pinnacle and they can't push through it because they experienced something. Maybe it's something that's traumatic, maybe it's just something that happened and they refuse to push by it, to keep going. So now, all of a sudden, they're on that ledge of the mountain thing Well, this is as good as it's going to get. And you're like buddy, you're like 10 feet off the ground, like look behind you and look up. There's a lot more to this.
Speaker 2:Let me ask you that, as a chaplain, as a father husband you know you've been you've worn a lot of hats on the mentoring side and maybe we don't talk a lot about our personal relationship, but I valued a lot of the advice that you've been able to impart in my life and I've grown a lot as a person and as your friend throughout some of the advice that you've been able to give me, and I'm grateful for that. Um, what do you do in situations like that? And you have somebody who just doesn't see the potential, where they're stuck in that mindset of well, now, this is my new identity, right, I can't go any further and you're looking ahead, going. Are you kidding me? The future is so bright for you.
Speaker 1:So with that it's I would say it's model shepherding. So I'll tell you what model shepherding is, and it is. The ultimate example of this is found in the word, in scripture and the word of God, and that is Jesus Christ, the model shepherd, or in. Some people want to say, well, shepherds are leaders. No, no, no, no. There's three parts to it. There's leading ahead. That is, showing the example, setting the bar.
Speaker 1:This is how we deal with it, and so many people are fixated on this. When someone is stuck there, they say, well, no, listen, you have to go on, you have to push forward. So many people have done more than this, don't just stand here and they're looking ahead. So, a leader, that's part of it. The second equation is behind and it just says, well, look how far you've come. Okay, so look at the ground level, see how far you actually are. Wow, you know what you've achieved so much. You've gained so much. You've come so far. So there's looking ahead and there's looking behind. This is is where this one falls in being there with the person where they're at.
Speaker 1:Not leading, that's a hard one, not following but being next to, and sometimes and this is the hardest thing to do when mentoring or helping someone get through something is just being there. Just being there, not saying anything, not suggesting how to go ahead, not talking about how behind, just sit there with them and then eventually, when you're done staring together, you might get the old. So what do we do now? And you have to wait for that, some people, you're waiting for that moment. What do we do now? And I think so often I've even I can say I've experienced and seen it in my own life as well as others, where it wasn't the right time to bring up something, or it wasn't the right time to talk about something, or it wasn't about the time to regurgitate something that happened. Instead, it was just like in the moment. Say, I don't know how to respond to this, but I just want to let you know I'm with you in this and so you're not alone, even though you're experiencing loneliness or pain or hardship or difficulty you're not in this alone.
Speaker 2:There are people that when you're ready, we can.
Speaker 1:We can handle things how we want to handle them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's that's so. Thank you for that. I think that's great and I think that's. I can see myself in so many different situations trying to. You know, when you have compassion, you want to try and fix the situation for someone right. If you love someone, you see them hurting, you want to fix it right. Somebody goes through a traumatic incident, whether it's a death or it might be. You know, I, I, I work with a lot of the para sports, now para hockey.
Speaker 2:I have a lot of great relationships with international athletes and some of the greatest heroes you will ever find, and they have gone through traumatic incidents that most of us would never want to imagine. And even just them explaining it to you, you go, I can't like. How do I process that? Yeah, how do I process that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, how do I process losing a leg when I'm staring at both of mine?
Speaker 2:Yeah, or how do I process being losing, you know, seeing three of my friends die from an IED and then I'm the one laying there without both of my legs and then now my life has to continue. Yeah, these are normal situations that are encountered and that's why sport is such a powerful vehicle to allow somebody to navigate through that. So I think often is when we have, you know, loved ones, traumatic situations, you know we want to try and fix, but I love what you said there. It's just a matter of just be there and be what the person needs. Yeah, because and here's bring my thought together with this concept here that you know you and I both kind of experienced a situation where there was a loss.
Speaker 2:Recently there was, um, you know, a coach locally who died in a motorcycle accident, and you know there are different people. There's no one template for navigating trauma. There's not one, it's not a guide that says each human does this and then they do this, and then they do this. Every person deals with it differently. Some people emotions right away. They move on.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to agree but disagree.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, so how I'll do it? By this. I agree with you that there's no set formula, that, no matter what you do, I'll 100% agree with that. But there is a guidebook.
Speaker 2:No, absolutely.
Speaker 1:And so the nice thing is about the scripture not just necessarily being one example, gives us so many examples of loss of grief of everything, and so you're right though, Dave. Yes.
Speaker 2:And where I was getting with that, though I wanted to say that when you're back to the one-on-one interaction with a person, sometimes what we can do as men because we're both men speaking from the way that we like to fix things we have our list. Okay, well, first you need to do this, and then this, and then this and then this. Why aren't you doing these things? Well, one person might be on step eight first, and then four, and then three. You know, emotionally, right, I'm not talking about the concepts or the principles, that's dealing with their emotions Totally. So, like, what you said is just being there. Hey, what do you need for me? Yeah, one person might need you to give them advice. Yeah, the other person might just need can I just get a hug?
Speaker 2:Yeah, the other person might say let's just pretend this never happened. Yeah, let's not talk about it, don't address it, let's go to a comedy show.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:Like there's no template for how to deal with it.
Speaker 1:You're right, and some people's response might be what do you need from me? Nothing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm good.
Speaker 1:Wait, what yeah? I'm good, everything's fine and then, and it can be frustrating too, when you want to help someone.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:Maybe because you've experienced it yourself. Yeah, and you know what's worked then you want to hopefully provide some sort of hope for that person.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:Because often some things can happen and people are left to the pieces, right. I remember one time someone gave a wonderful analogy I didn't know he was speaking about divorce and he's a carpenter and so he took two boards and he had glued them together and held them together in a vice all the night before.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:And so these boards were there together and they were held in this vice, and he talked about how divorce, when you have kids, kids are the middle, and so these two boards are glued to this one board in the middle, sure.
Speaker 1:And he's like you try to separate it and try to pull it apart and all you get is pieces. And he's like you have pieces of this and that and both sides are, they're just fractured, everything's fractured and because of that, that fracture and everything, it's like, okay, you can feel that way that you're just left in pieces, where before you felt so whole, but now, because of trauma, is just pieces.
Speaker 2:And you're totally right when it comes to what are the resources we have. Yes, the word of God can be a comforting resource in many different ways for people and again we look back at that. Here's your seven steps 10 steps to overcome trauma, whatever it is. You know, one person, when reading the word, might be able to check off all 10 air quotes, things on that list and go. That was incredible. Another person might finally hear step one for the first time and be stuck there for five years Totally, and then the word of God will allow them the ability to navigate through. Oh, that's so good.
Speaker 2:But I think the important thing for me and I've dealt with quite a bit of trauma in my life is, you know, I think that the hard part is and as you and I were praying through this episode and thinking about it for the last couple of weeks, like it's such a touchy subject but it's so vast and there's a lot of variety to it.
Speaker 2:But we want to be sensitive to the fact that we know there's a people out there in sport maybe connected to sport, in sport, not in sport that are dealt with a lot of trauma, that we want to be sensitive and respectful to that. But you know there's when you look at how to deal with it. I totally lost my train of thought when I was going with it that, um, you know, we don't want to downplay what you've been through, that's right, right. So we're not saying that you know, if you've gone through all of this trauma, well, you don't know what I've been through, yeah, well, we're not saying that that doesn't matter. What we're saying is you know, when you look at resources, there's a God who can give you comfort in it.
Speaker 1:There is, and one of the things that I think is powerful that comes from the experience of having trauma in some way shape or form, is being able to look back after time passes. There's that, that phrase time heals all wounds, and I don't know necessarily if I there's a dotted time frame associated with that, but I think when you have faith in christ, you all of a sudden now see things through a different lens, and part of what someone who's a christian does is we are called to reflect upon the death of christ, we celebrate easter and we think about his death and his resurrection.
Speaker 1:We participate in communion where we focus on his death and we proclaim his death until he comes again, and so part of this reflection and looking back upon now allows us to have the instrument in order to bear testimony of what has gone through the process, so good, and so now, all of a sudden, we can say, well, hey, I experienced this loss. But now that I can see it through a different lens and through a different perspective, I can see how God brought me through this process and allowed me to learn this, this and this about myself, this, this and this about others. And part of that process is I really learned a lot about him, and I remember even talking with someone that was close to me that went through a divorce, and I remember him explaining to me, saying I really found out who my friends were. He said when I was alone and um, and it seemed like my world had fallen apart. I could gauge my relationships by people that were quick to tell me what to do and by people who simply were just there.
Speaker 1:And he said I knew that their heart of the people that wanted to tell me what to do, their intentions were good, but at the time it's not what I needed.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And so then, all of a sudden, those people were gone because I didn't do their way of doing things.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:And um. So yeah, it's really interesting how time, like will just show not only the gravity of trauma, but also will show us a testimony that comes out of it, and hopefully that testimony is less about ourselves, more about our savior.
Speaker 2:And we were aware this conversation was going to be heavy and I think asking this question, we can't go through this podcast without asking and bringing this topic up, and I think you'd forgive us if this one went a little bit longer than normally does. I think we're usually at 32 minutes. It's kind of funny, it always you know what?
Speaker 1:yeah, we're doing, okay good, so we're not at two hours yet.
Speaker 2:I think. Yet when your wife starts knocking on, the laundry hamper is full. It's not a hamper, jen Um the, you know there's that term. God allowed this to happen. God did this to me. Where did this disaster come from? Right, and I think there are many people you know I'm not going to use specific examples of trauma that have happened, but there are a number of them say why would a good God allow that to happen to me? Why would God do this to me? Does God hate me? Those are some of the terms out there that do circulate not only in the faith community but in the grander scheme of the world. How could I believe in a God who would let this happen to somebody else?
Speaker 1:We saw a really good example of that the Humboldt Broncos bus crash. And I remember I had attended one of the funerals and I remember hearing some of the family testimonies about the unfortunate tragedy that happened and even in hindsight, looking back on them and knowing a couple of them now and hearing about how life has carried on. You can look back and you can, and I'm not disagreeing with it because, like as a dad, if I lost one of my kids, oh man, like every once in a while that thought goes through my head.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:Parents biggest fear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, totally Absolutely, is losing, losing your child, and I think, um it it was. It reminded me of a few things. I'll touch on this thought first, and then I'm going to go to a second one, sure, um? The first one is this that the world handles loss differently. The world handles loss differently. The world handles loss differently. It's no less of a tragedy and we can talk in all the details about a specific event we want. It doesn't change the fact that it was unforeseen and it was tragic. That's why it's called a tragedy and because it was tragic, there was trauma involved from so many different perspectives.
Speaker 1:It doesn't undermine the feelings of anger. You can know the lord and you can still experience the same emotion. It's all about what we do with how we feel, and I think part of having faith and having faith in christ allows us to take that human response and understanding that Christ, being fully human, knew exactly what it was like to feel the way I feel, and he can sympathize with me and all my weaknesses and I can say okay, lord, you know how this feels like. What do I do with it? Sure, instead of saying this is how I feel, I'm going to handle it, this is how, exactly what needs to happen, and so our response can be different. They'd be different the. The second thing that comes along with it is not only when disaster strikes, what we do with it, but now, when we take that not just the emotion or the people that are involved in other things what do we do with it? And so, not only how we respond, but what do we do with it. And so what opportunity is this going to create?
Speaker 1:What opportunity is this going to tell us, to tell that story, and even you've had an opportunity to share some of those stories and some of those things that have come with it right and I think the the raw emotion of it can really hit home, especially when you know young athletes and and the human mind has a weird way of putting things in scenarios and heads and right and everything. But it's like okay, lord, if I can have something horrible happen to me and I can still say that you're good, I can still say that you're good, sure, I can still say that you are faithful, I can still say that you, nothing changed with you, right, even though the circumstances I may feel has changed me and impacted me, nothing has changed on you. You're still just as reliable as you ever were.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there were two thoughts that came to my mind as you were talking about that. Obviously, fairly well, you know, everybody's got a connection. It seems like that. You know, the sports community, small has some sort of connection to the Humboldt Broncos. You know, bus crash and I remember. So you know, years ago I had a relationship with Darcy Hogan, was the late coach, coached in Peace River for 12 years, hadn't kept in touch much um in the later part, but ran into him a year before the accident.
Speaker 2:I just thought it was looking back on it Like, wow, that you know, coincidence, you can call it, but that that was just a neat interaction. So, and just being able to see how his and so after the accident happened, christina, his wife, I remember reading an article that said, you know, she said I forgive you to the semi driver that had killed. And that comment, you know, struck a lot of people hard because they thought, well, why does? Why is your grief that you're dealing with and you seem to be in a better spot with seem more important than my grief that I'm not through it yet Right, like I'm still angry? So why do you get the spotlight and why are you looked like, looked at as this great person for saying you can forgive, right. And I just thought there was, as you mentioned, there's something so special about what to do with those emotions and now that I've had time to process that statement and those thoughts, it really made me realize that, when you go back again to that list, there's no checklist template and how people deal with trauma. Some person might hang in anger for 15 years, yeah, and that's just the way they might deal with it. They might even be reading the word every day, but go, I'm still really angry, god. Why am I angry, right, even be reading the word every day, but go, I'm still really angry, god. Why am I angry, right? Where someone else might on the surface, you know, in a generic situation, not saying this is Christina's story, but they might say I forgive you and have peace, but every other step that they're not dealt with yet, they haven't dealt with this or this or this or this or this. So that thought came to my mind when you talk about the. You know the, the, the Lord, being there. But I want to lead to a different side.
Speaker 2:I heard this comment a couple years ago. He's an international speaker and he's a burn victim. He got trapped in a house in Edmonton, charred from head to toe, 98% burn coverage, almost lost his life. But in the last moment you can go and share the story. The guy's name is Spencer Beach is the guy's name, so I'm not going to share his story. But he's from Edmonton. He's international, traveled all over the world, told a story that he got you know. He was going in to apply some solution to a cement floor. Flames burst up, got trapped inside, almost lost his life.
Speaker 2:So I've built a relationship with him. I've seen him speak in different churches and just hearing him talk about as he's been going through trauma, the most inimaginable trauma, that he's head to toe literally charred. And he had said, you know and tying these two thoughts together, when Christina had mentioned that at the funeral, had Darcy known that the opportunity would have been there to share Jesus to this many people, he would have lost his life for this. Her words and that blew my mind. I couldn't believe it when I heard that. And then Spencer Beach, when I interviewed him, had said you know I wouldn't trade what happened to me based on the ability now that I can go and share those stories Now is that a normal template for everybody?
Speaker 2:Absolutely not. But when you speak of the peace and the character of Jesus, where it leads you to, I can't think of any worldly knowledge that someone can get to that would bring them to. Maybe you've arrived and maybe you're not a believer in Jesus and you've had those thoughts. That's great. But in my faith mind, those are two of the most incomparable, incomprehensible traumas that can happen to somebody, and Jesus led both of them to say, because of his power, I'm okay with this and I would actually prefer this than the other. Yeah, like that. How do you?
Speaker 1:Well, and and the amazing thing is is that when we talk about tragedy that both of those people experienced, the Lord Jesus Christ said no one takes my life from me.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:I lay it down.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so the fact that he did lay it down, and there's proof in that.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:It that it now you think it it changed everything. Yeah, it changed time. Right, we acknowledge time after him sure and where it's.
Speaker 1:It's changed the world for so many people and I think that's one of our hopes. Having this discussion is that maybe someone is an athlete, or you're a parent of an athlete, or you, or you just go to church and you athletes at your church and you're just trying to figure out how to navigate this thing called life, and maybe some of these things that you hear would be like wait you know what?
Speaker 1:I want that there's some something tragic that happened in my life sure maybe you lost a family member or a loved one or or something unforeseen that happened, but now you can say okay, you know what. There is hope, there's hope. I want the same hope that's found by so many others.
Speaker 2:Maybe it's something even as small as somebody who isn't able to trust in your church community, in your sports team. Maybe it happened from a baseball being taken from someone's room and, as you talk to them, well, I don't trust because I had my car keys stolen and I had my phone stolen and I had this stolen, that stolen, that stolen, that stolen. Maybe in relationships I've been hurt here, here, here, here and here, and you're married and you're trying to navigate through with your spouse. Well, why don't they trust me, Right? So maybe I we hope there's something in this podcast for you to equip you with knowledge and how to navigate through trauma Cause. Again, that checklist, some people may be heading, some people might be behind. There's no one way to do it, but I love what you said before, that we have a guidebook that says here's how to help and the principles of just you know, being there and then just loving on people. I think is the most important component.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and through thick and thin praise the name of the Lord. Amen. God is consistent. People can find us if they want to learn more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, gospel the Game. We're on Instagram and Twitter and you can download us wherever all podcasts can be found and if you have a comment you want to reach out to us, please send us a message If you've been enjoying these podcasts or if there's something in there you had a question about. We'd love to interact with you and we're glad to bring sport and faith together, and that's what we're all about yeah, and you know what, if you listen to something on a specific format like it?
Speaker 1:follow it it actually helps us um introduce our podcast to other people that maybe would benefit from it absolutely.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Thanks for listening today. Gospel the Game, episode 11. Hope you enjoyed it. Have a restful rest of your day.
